Is There a List of Events? (Finally, Yes.)

Looking for the best networking events in Portland? Wondering how to meet the right people without wasting time in awkward rooms that go nowhere?

In this episode of The Awkward Handshake, we talk with Dominic Kuklawood, creator of PortlandStartupEvents.com, an aggregated event calendar for entrepreneurs, founders, and professionals across the Portland startup ecosystem.

Dominic has a unique perspective on networking because he’s not just attending events… he’s tracking the entire landscape. From startup meetups to marketing events, he sees what’s working, what’s missing, and why there’s still more opportunity to build meaningful community.

We break down how to find the right networking events, why Portland is not oversaturated with events, and what actually makes a room worth showing up for.

If you’ve ever struggled with networking, felt like events were a waste of time, or didn’t know where to start, this episode will give you a clearer path forward.

What You’ll Learn

•  How to find networking events in Portland (without relying on guesswork) 
•  Why there’s still demand for more startup and business events 
•  What makes a networking event successful vs. transactional 
•  How to meet better business connections and collaborators 
•  Why entrepreneurs often experience loneliness—and how events help solve it 
•  The difference between public networking events and private invite-only spaces 
•  A simple framework for hosting your own event (even if you’re not an expert) 

Resources & Links

Portland Startup Events (Event Calendar):
https://PortlandStartupEvents.com

Connect with Dominic Kuklawood:
https://dataspeaks.ai/

Mentioned in This Episode

•  Luma (event platform) 
•  E-Commerce Northwest 
•  NEXT NW 
•  Portland startup community events 

Who This Episode Is For

•  Entrepreneurs and founders in Portland 
•  Creators, freelancers, and consultants looking to grow their network 
•  Professionals tired of awkward or ineffective networking events 
•  Anyone looking to build real relationships in business

Keep in touch! 

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• Fat Cap Design
• PDX Spellbound

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• Sasquatch Media Grounds
• Sensible Woo

Transcript

0:00

This is The Awkward Handshake, a podcast about networking business and what really happens in the room. We're unpacking the good, the bad, and the awkward, so you can build better connections and get paid. Let's get into it. Today we're talking with Dominic Kuklawood, who runs Portland startup events.com. We really, really wanted to get Dominic on our show and it was so good that he was able to join us. honestly, I couldn't believe we got him, but he's so nice. He's so nice. But the special thing about Dominic is not just that he's super cool, Dominic is an aggregator of events, which is very different than the people who are organizing events or people who've like been to events. Like he's not just organizing one event, he's aggregating information across the community. And that's a really unique space in the networking world around town or anywhere, honestly. Yeah. I mean, he's providing a service. And he is not really getting paid for it. Like this is under the passion of his heart. Yeah. And like we talk about it coming up, but like, I still can't believe this wasn't a thing before, like no one else had made. Really? Yeah. He brings up one other service. Yeah. That at the moment is still primarily servicing sort of like the coding programming community, which is very niche. Yeah. so for the rest of us, I mean, I guess you could search Eventbrite, but then you'd also have to search that and Meetup. Yes. And. I bet some are still in Craigslist or something like, well, and then all these other ticket sales sites have started up like Humantix. That's a big one. But like they're also scattered. And what I love is that he answers the question that we get all the time and he gets it too, which is why he started doing what he is doing people see us at events and then they're like. Where should I go? Is there like a list of events and we're like, why? Yes. As a matter of fact, that there is, thank goodness. And while it's not a comprehensive list of events and as more people get to know Dominic's list, we're hoping that they will also add their events to the list, which they can totally do. I believe there's still a self surface option to add your Yep. Your event to the list. so with that, let's get to know Dominic. Dominic Kuklawood is the Director of Partnership at Data Speaks, an ad measurement platform that helps e-comm brands figure out how much money their ads actually make. He also founded Portland startup events.com. An aggregated event calendar for Portland's Entrepreneurs building community has always been a strength, both in his personal life and in business through groups like New Text, PDX, and e-Commerce Northwest. eCommerce Northwest is one of our favorite groups that we love hanging out with. So with that, we'll get into the episode with Dominic. Dominic, thank you so much for being with us today. We are super excited to talk to you because you organize an event list. Do you wanna tell us about it? Yeah. super stoked to be here. Happy to be talking with you guys. an event list. Yes, I do. Portland startup events.com is an aggregated event calendar for all of the, events for entrepreneurs in the Portland area. We found it 'cause it's on the app, Luma. are there any other apps where we find your list? just go to portland startup events.com. I'll take you there. It actually just forwards to a Luma page. Luma is a new-ish event platform. So instead of like Meetup or Eventbrite, uh, Luma came around and it's just like a really simple, thing. made it really easy to create this aggregated calendar, which is really just a bunch of links to other people's events. we started hearing about Luma by hanging out in the startup community. It seems to be more startup focused. it's definitely feels, the hipper new thing. Yeah. Well, I think Nita burned people and then I think Eventbrite also was starting to make people get upset, so I'm not surprised there's a new one. I've always wondered though, like, why did you make it? Why did I make it? Yeah. Okay. Because it's not, it's not your like job. Correct. In fact, technically it's only made me poorer still to this day. so I have been working at a startup in Portland for about a year and a half. It's called Data Speaks. We help primarily e-commerce brands figure out how much money their ads are actually making. and I came in not knowing anything, not knowing anyone, not knowing the industry, what I was doing. you know, basically my job is sales, right? I'm trying to get customers and so trying a bunch of stuff and nothing's really working. And then one day I go to an event, I go to a marketing event. And then that led to my first, you know, meeting booked with a real prospect. And that was like my first, one of the first events I went to. And I was like, oh, this is what I should be doing. I'm gonna do this. And so then I started going to a bunch of events. found all sorts of, primarily startup business, some marketing kind of stuff. Started going to everything and, as I was going, people started seeing me as like, Hey, you go to a bunch of events, you know, events. What events should I go to? And so I started basically like, copying, pasting a list of like, these ones are my favorite. thinking meanwhile, like, there, there must be a better way. There must be a better solution. This is, you know, I, I very much felt, saw the problem, imagined it could be fixed, wanted to see it fixed myself. and then one day, Portland Startup Week happened, and Portland started week, basically a week just what it sounds like, a week of all sorts of start events that, Josh here in town. Basically put together and he put it on Luma there was a beautiful page of a bunch of different events that, you know, just linked to other people's events. I was like, oh, this is it. This is the solution. So I messaged Josh and I said, Hey, should we have this all year round? And he says, yeah, sure. And if, if you wanna do the work. So I said, okay, yeah, cool, I'll do it. So I talked to Josh and I was also talking to. Rick, it took him a while to win him over, actually get him off of a call to an extent. But, he got on board, you know, got, got the support of some people who were really plugged into the community for a long time. And, I kind of put it together. found the list of all the different main companies doing events and found a contact person there and said, Hey, do you mind if I put your events on here for you for free? And they said, no, I don't mind. So, uh, yeah, that's, that's kinda how it came to be. And then I did it and told people about it, and that was a while ago and I got it pretty streamlined, uh, just once a month. I was actually just doing it right before I got here. once a month I go through and kind of manually update everything. honestly probably won't be doing that much longer with like a, probably get a CLO bot or whatever. clearly all the rage, but, it just takes a little bit of updating every month and then people can add their own stuff too. So there's an add event button. So, like half the events I add from 15 main groups and then the other half people just sporadically add throughout the month. Well, we will make sure that we put that information in the show notes because we also go to a lot of events and have been asked the typical question, you go to a lot of events, what events should I go to? And they're like, is there a list of events? And then we met you and we were like, oh, I guess actually there is a list of events. I mean, it's very tailored towards the startup community. Mm-hmm. But I think it's a really good starting point for most people. But I'm sure that there are people who are startup adjacent who could really benefit from. Working with an aggregated list like yours. I think there's power in aggregation. I'm just surprised there wasn't one before. That seems like there should have been eight of them, but it's work. Yeah. I will say, there was, and still is another one called Calgator, which is still thriving for like computer programmer events. uh, you know, programming stuff. And so Calgator was made from scratch here in Portland. it's pretty old now. that's one thing I learned about the startup community is that there's kind of a natural split of like all the business stuff and then all the technical stuff. You know, like coding and marketing are kind of different. and so I think it kind of make made sense to, have two different calendars. Calgator is still thriving for programmers. but all the business stuff never quite made it on there. So, you know, people would post and every once in a while, yeah. It just wasn't, it wasn't catching everything and, oh, that's the other thing is, so I made the event calendar. I was like, okay guys, now you're all gonna just add your events on here, right? And everyone's like, totally. I'm like, yeah, that's how it's gonna work. Ready? Here we go. And then like, half the people did. And I was like, okay, I see this would just be wrangling cats forever. Mm-hmm. This would never work. Like I've, I've taken it 98% of the way there, like, this is gonna be good, then I'm just gonna have to do it myself. that's the other thing too is that, you know, PortlandStartupEvents.com actually as somebody, just. Doing boring work, making it good. It's the unsexy systems that make it everything sexy on the front end. But also, I mean, it has to bring you some kind of joy though. Otherwise you wouldn't do it. Yeah. Hell yeah. you're a community organizer. It's been cool. you know, I'll, I'll say that the, the event that the counter's only made me poorer so far. But like, I, I will admit, it's clearly it helped me a lot too. a lot of things begun that may not necessarily have turned into money yet. A lot of them never will. but not a hundred percent. It's really helped me, build a lot of really valuable relationships in the city and really helped me. learn a lot, about who I am and, and what I'm supposed to do. And, It's been awesome. really, really grateful for it. It's opened a lot of doors for me. Well, we can confirm. I think the royal we here, we've noticed the same thing too. You know, we started running private events, which you have been to and. because business is people, the relationships are so important and over time you never know who someone else knows. And sometimes it takes a long time, but then because they know you and the consistency of you organizing community or just showing up and being friendly and pointing people in the right direction as best you can, like it does a lot for whatever you actually do. Yeah. Outside of organizing that list. Yeah, totally. Yeah. But you also get to come in at a peer-to-peer level. Which, which very different. Which changes everything. Because, you know, you went to the trouble of like making that list. They know. Dominic's there to help us. But also you're not just attending their events now, you know you're on the same level as them. Street cred if nothing else. yeah, yeah, yeah. Clout. There's, there's, yeah. Clout. I'll do anything for clout. That's what they say. there's a sense of comradery for sure, and understanding, and I think, more than ever in business, trust really matters. Yeah. You know, now that everyone can find anything anywhere, at any time, it's not like a novelty to have a solution. but having people you can trust, to make decisions, having people you can trust to go do work for you, it matters a lot to, to, to gain trust and for people to just know that, like, I, if I leave you with something, you'll take care of it. even, you know, if I give you something, uh, and then you break it. You are gonna fix it before you come back to me. like that level of, you'll take care of this for me. That's the end. You know, not only you're capable and you're trustworthy, and I think that's more important than ever. Love that answer. Well, you were here at the beginning of the year for a very private coffee networking group that we had with other community organizers. And I made a note so we could talk about it on the podcast today because you said something when we were in our circle chatting about a lot of things that day. Right. And people were asking. it seems like maybe there's an oversaturation of events, like why should we have more? And you said something, and I don't know that you remember saying it, but you were like, no, the space is not oversaturated. Like I get to see all the events that get put up on this list and there's still room for more. we are not so overpacked with events every day of every week that we have an overabundance of events and people can't make a decision on what to go to in the metro Portland region. Just for starters and I thought that that was such an important point because. I think when we think that there might be too many things going on, either you get into the overwhelmed space, which we hear from people, and they're like, oh, I'm so overwhelmed. I can't possibly make a decision. I'm not gonna go anywhere. Or they're like, there's so many things. Why should I try organizing anything? Mm-hmm. Why should I try telling anybody to go to this thing? I think maybe you can help us set the record straight so that people do get into community more. Because we all know from that conversation how much we really need to get together more and more. yeah, I think there is a lot of opportunity to add value, bringing people together. a couple things that come to mind. So a, we're just living in this crazy technological transition. You know, everyone's the, the whole social media, seven hours a day. people statistically lack connection. So until that is not the case, checks watch, never. Yeah. So yeah. Do events. Yeah. Up until. there is not a loneliness epidemic then. Yeah, there's, there's an opportunity for events. A hundred percent. I saw a, a striking, like a powerful image recently of like, you see like a, a big building, right? And then imagine you see the x-ray of the building, so you see all the individuals and, this person's like, man, nobody wants to hang out with me. The other one's like, man, I wish somebody wanted to hang out. And, you know, we're all kind of like separate and isolated in our little boxes. so at a high level, Bring people together. People gotta get together. we're, we're kind of tired of, some digital stuff. We wanna see some face-to face, you know, hang out with some people and not have to wonder, if this is AI generated or anything, you know? and then, and the other thing, as I kind of became this events guy and got pretty familiar with all these different groups and different organizers and you kind of start seeing the same people, You recognize that, so there's constantly new people coming through, right? Like start to see sort of like a regular core community on the Portland startup scene specifically. But then there's always just so many people who are not those regulars and like all the time, right? All the time You go into events and they're like, oh, it's my first time. It's my first time. I was just thinking like you never know who you're gonna bump into Part of the thing of going out to events is the serendipity of just one really, really great new connection. Or like half a good connection and then you see them again and you like close the loop on that connection. Like I feel like it's kinda like how we got to know you too. It's like we saw you a little bit here and then we saw each other a little bit more there, and then all of a sudden it was we all kind of like play on the same planet. We should do more of that together, you know? Yeah. Now we're here. I know. Look at us. Mm-hmm. Now I'm wondering, um, when you were talking about the list of events. how many on Luma or on Portland startup events.com, I should say. How many are virtual events as opposed to in person? does anybody try to post virtual things on there too? majority that goes on that list are in person. there are some virtual, so when local groups that are consistent contributors post virtual events, then I put them on there. but that's still a virtual gathering of local people. If that makes sense. Yeah. How many do you normally have on average a month listed? How many events are on there? Uh, there's usually about 50 events a month. Wow. That's pretty good. Yeah. I mean, I can see why you think that it is overwhelmed, like it is full and, or if you just pull up the list.' cause we had our events on the list back in the day, and you would look at the list and you'd be like, how do I even decide? Like, there's so many. Yeah. Wait, I did lie actually. Hold on. That's not true. There's usually, 50 events looking like two months out actually. Okay, so So once a month. Yeah. It's not 50 a month. There's usually, it's still a lot though. It's still a lot of events though. It's a fair amount. Yeah. I mean, it's almost one or two. Actually, yes. Yeah, it is. You mentioned the loneliness epidemic. And my A DHD brain went, there's a lot of men in startup, there's a lot of men in tech, and I wonder if a lot go to all these events. Oh, because you think because lonely. Do you see that at all? Yeah. Dominic is not that lonely. So Well think you're biased, but I've seen you, I've seen you like stand on the outskirts of the room. You look at the room like I do, like, I kinda like watch the people, huh? Yeah. Like, like Desperate Housewives. I kinda like watch the room. Yeah. Who's talking to whom? Who walked in the door and like, and you go to, I think between all of us, we go to enough that, you know, sometimes we intersect, but there's a lot of things we all go to that we don't see each other at too. Yeah, I wanted you, you said something about loneliness, and I wanna speak to that is actually sometimes, I mean, yeah, I get lonely. I get lonely sometimes. I'm a very social person. one of the ways that I've been feeling loneliness, in fact, has been with a lot of my, like with my friends, I feel like my friends. Don't necessarily understand what I'm doing with all my time. Right? Yeah. They don't quite understand what I'm working on or how much I'm working or, what my progress is or like what matters. In fact, that's the real, that's been a really interesting thing is that, I have experienced this sort of loneliness with a lot of my traditional relationships. because they're, and, and so I enjoy, they have more normal jobs. Yeah, they have more, they have more normal jobs. Nine to five. Yeah. And they just, and they just want to hang out and they're like, they don't wanna talk about all the work stuff I do all day. it's not the worst thing all the time. Those relationships are great, but there is, there's a loneliness. I, I, I feel there's sometimes, and I, I realized that, it's been actually really cool making work friends. Right. Yeah. Like I've really been enjoying work friends, people that both are your actual friends and do actually wanna work. It's a different, different type of connection and I've really been enjoying that. Yeah. I love this perspective though, because I think there's different qualities of friendships. Mm-hmm. I think you're totally right. Like some people are just purely social, you party with 'em, whatever, it's a good time. And then you've got people where, if you're an ambitious person, and especially if you're in the founder space. Even if you just have the heart of an entrepreneur, maybe you do have like a nine to five, but you're an intrapreneur in whatever company you're in. But, but if you have the heart of a founder, you need to be able to talk with other people who have that same heart. And you cannot have those conversations with people who are like, I don't think, I feel like working today. And it's like, A, I don't have that luxury, but also b, I don't wanna be that person. Mm-hmm. I'm always thinking about the next thing. Yeah. And it's exciting to be around other people who can keep up. Totally. It's, it's, it's different. Yeah. I mean, uh, I really like entrepreneurs. I really like entrepreneurial people, it's just kind of taking responsibility for your life. instead of like just showing up and chilling, like you have something that you want to do. And it's like, you're always thinking, you're always looking at systems. You know, I just enjoy, like, I'll go to a business and I'm just evaluating everything, you know, like how do they, how does this work? Same. Yeah, I just like it. You know, wanna open that door and show me what's happening back day. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We talked about that in one of our Premier Week episodes, and we were like, sometimes I just wanna go to the event. So I just wanna see the inside of it, of the building, Uhhuh. Totally, totally. Like, what is it? Like, what's your elevator like, what's the parking situation like? I just wanna know. Right, right, right, right. I love it. Okay. We're all so weird. I love it. well, I think that's a really great segue actually into, how we can all three of us here at this table today help offer some tips for other event organizers because you aggregate. Events. I mean, I'm assuming that you see maybe more metrics than the rest of us mere mortals do, and I don't know how much you can see in terms of sign up and attendance rates. Like do you think people are signing up for things more or less right now? like if somebody was thinking that they can't find these people they wanna hang out with, sometimes the best thing to do is to create the group. Give it a try. You never know. You don't know until you offer it. And because it's free to list events, but I'm wondering, like, what can we give people some perspective on in terms of actual, real, data that's out there about what's being listed? one thing I'll say is, the vast majority, this is just like a quick logistical thing. Most events are on Thursday, Friday, end of the week. so Monday, Tuesday. Pretty wide open. and the other thing I'll say is that, I think there's a lot of value to be added in. I'll just say this. Here's a super basic event formula. choose space, find, theme and community. Then bring in cool person. Let that person talk. Let the audience talk to that person. Let people talk to each other, throwing drinks and food in there if you want. And you are good to go and you are good to go. And, and notice how none of that depends on your brilliance as an organizer, right? I'll tell you the longer story. So one time I, I was participating in this. basically like civil rights kind of group, right? It was like my first like activism experience and it was really cool. There was some sweet people there and it was my first time seeing anything like that and understanding like that I could do stuff in local politics and, you know, went from somebody thinking all the time about politics and what can I do to suddenly like finding, it's like, oh wow, there's not that many people doing stuff locally. Like, oh my God, we just got a law passed and like, not that many people showed up. and my big takeaway was like. Why don't we just show more people that, why don't we just like teach more people? Like exactly what I just went through by pure, coincidence and luck just got this amazing lesson of like, oh, don't just like read national news all day, like figure out what's happening locally and make it happen. So I was like, huh, why don't we just like teach people how to do that. But that didn't really catch on. And there were a couple, couple people there that were like, nah, nah, we need to, we already know what the solutions are ourselves and we just want like more people to come in and like do what we tell them to do. I don't think that's the answer, you know? I think. there's so many people who think they're smart and they have answers, and everyone wants to manage everyone else. And if you just sidestep that whole thing and instead of like, you know, trying to promote your own brilliance, you just create space for other people to fill it in, then they will do absolutely beautiful things. and so that's my recommendation as creating events. Don't think about like. how am I gonna be brilliant? Awesome. Like, who can I bring together? Who can I create space for? yeah. And then they, you know, they say, they say, uh, people love to talk too. you know, if you wanna meet some badass people, just say, Hey, I'm having an event. Like, you wanna come speak to an audience?'cause Yeah, they probably do. Yeah. When I ran Freelancers Union, their Spark chapter here, I had to find somebody every month. And like, panels are great. in case people get nervous, you know, about leading a whole thing. Mm-hmm. You just stick 'em on a panel or three other people occasionally will talk to you. Yeah. You can stay silent if you want. And then the audience Yeah, you're right. They love to talk. They love to have their questions answered. To feel seen. I feel it more than Mary, like when we hold the vent, I feel so much pressure. That the outcome, I think I, I raised the bars really high. That everyone needs to have like, the most fantastic time and like, what if they come back at me and they're like, gimme my free money back, you know, because I didn't, I didn't make the connection that you promised me. Mm-hmm. but I've had to let go of that. And like, as I've watched the last few events, it's kind of on them. Me and my therapist is always like, and we're taking away their agency when you do that. I'm like, yes, we are. Okay. So like people will get what they want. and really the, the bar is pretty low for like a good networking event. Yeah, the bar's pretty, pretty low. I mean, like the traditional thing is like you just like open a room and then shove everybody in their room and like that's the bar. the things that you talked about, Dominic are true thoughtfulness and also like the thing that you're really talking about is the lack of ego Yeah. In the organizer. And I think we've been to enough things where we can tell when the event is really about somebody trying to get. Leads, and that's why we're there and we're kind of like, mm-hmm. It feels kind of weird in here now. Mm-hmm. but if the event is really about how do we all get together and make better connections? And you have agency, maybe you're having an off night and so you do, you have an off networking night, you know, but you still feel better about it than if you didn't go. And I, I think that might be one of the best reasons to have a networking event space. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You said there that, you know, uh, transactional, sometimes things feel really transactional, right? Where people, yeah. A lot, the bar is low. A lot of these events are kind of stiff to make the event, like kind of take your ego out of it and it's not having this grand approach, that it's still scary. It's still a scary thing to do for sure. Like, like you are leading when you're saying I'm doing a thing. You know, time you do a thing and you make it, open to other people's opinions. Like that is, that is a scary thing. Or if no one shows up, oh God, that didn't, that never happened to us. No. This time. Yes. Oh yeah. Oh, y'all bringing back some dark memories. I know to you too. Okay. Yeah, yeah. This episode just turned into organizer therapy, you earned a merit badge, you held an event, and two people showed up. But how many people don't ever earn that merit badge? Yeah. And then they sit in their little corner and they either overly critique other people or they complain privately like, how come I can't find any event or whatever, and they're never jumping in the ring. And it's like you like set up a whole ring. You didn't just jump into it. You set it up, you sold tickets to it. You got people to come That I think speaks a lot. I would rather talk to somebody who had a failed series. Than somebody who just never even tried. Yeah, there's, there's something in the person who tried that. I wanna talk to that 'cause there's something in you that tells me you are gonna be a great collaborator or a great referral partner or something. That's like startups. I mean, you have to have at least one fail to like be in the industry. I think it gives you a better spice. I dunno, it's more interesting person, right? I mean, just seemed to have to be a Do you have an event that you just always go to? is there a meetup that you're like, yes. This one? Mm-hmm. This is a good question. Yeah. Yeah. Yes, yes. So for me, yeah. I used to go to all the market or all the events, on the startup scene and then kind of whittle down to what is actually gonna help me in my job. Yeah. So we are, but you have to do that. Like we discussed that like you should go, it helps to go wide. To then pick which ones. Yeah. If you don't know what you're doing, you kind of need to go to some things to figure them out. yeah. Right, right, right. And you know, I, I had a lot of ground to cover in, like figuring out how my industry worked and, and everything. Like I really knew nothing when I, when I started. but eventually I realized that, um, was, it was just the marketing events that were gonna be useful for me. Like that's where my customers and partners are. So Yeah, absolutely whittled down to, uh, e-Commerce Northwest. do love them. That's the bomb. Mm-hmm. I actually now help, uh, run that event. I'll You do, I do. Well, maybe we should be coming back to some breakfast coffees. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's, that's one I really love. That's, made a huge impact on my career and made some good friends there. yeah, really happy to be helping run that now and Very cool. The other one is next northwest. Yep. Shout out my man. That was a good one. You've been there. You've missing we've, we went to one at kiln. Oh, yes. Actually, my score mentor was the one who told us to go. Those, those events are really well attended. And yeah, so E-Commerce Northwest, uh, next northwest, those have been really, really good for me. there's also a smaller one called PDX Ad Tech, happy hour. and that one is not publicly listed, so you have to get an invite. But, um, if you like marketing and you want to come, you can find me. My name is Dominic Kuklawood. Let me, I'll shoot you an invite. Can we get an invite? We'll talk, we'll turn No pressure. Yeah. Well, actually I think it's interesting that you just brought up a private invite only space, because I had this prediction from over a year ago that a lot of really good networking was gonna go into these private invite only spaces. Mm-hmm. And then we also created a private invite only space as well. Mm-hmm. And we have noticed in that space, at least for us. The feedback overwhelmingly from the people who come is like, I got a lot more better connection making at this event. Yes, it's smaller, but had more time to talk to people. Mm-hmm. And then they tell us about conversations they have outside the room too. So I'm wondering like, do you experience the same thing because you have a favorite event that is private invite only, and then a few that are open. Yeah. So for this one, like, it's not like exclusive that No, nobody's checking anything. but it just, it's not publicly listed. Right. And it just goes, so, so it is, it is not, but it's not like some like bougie big deal kind of thing, right? No, no, no. so for this one, it's, cool, it's a smaller room and it is a really high level room of professionals. So there's some like just people who have been in ad tech for a really, really long time. That's really cool. and it's, and it's also cool 'cause you're kind of coming into sort of like an existing community to an extent. Okay. Because all these, all these OGs all advertising in the area, they all kind of know each other. that feels really cool to, come into, I mean, to any group or any community, there's always some sort of. tribe or network. Yeah. Or, or something. And so I, I think it's always there. That's definitely the same for, the other two that I mentioned. it's just what the ones Are publicly listed also have a bunch of new people every time versus Yep. Yeah. The one that, that they just go by invitations. It's, you know, new, new, new people will come in, but never like, Somebody just drops in and is like, what's happening? You know? I do love those people when they show up though. They're just like deer in headlights like, have you been here before? And I'm like, oh, you can come talk with us. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Totally. Oh, that was awesome, Dominic. Thank you so much for stopping by. Yeah. We appreciate all of the labor you are doing to aggregate events in the area. I don't know that you realize what a big deal that is, but. The event organizers in us recognize the list organizer and you. So thank you. Thank you, thank you. I'm gonna take that straight with me when I go sit back down and do some copy and paste in in an hour here. I preach out. I will, I will. I'll be cheering you guys really soon here. This matters. That was super fun to talk with somebody who has a very unique take on approaching networking in the community because he sees a lot of stuff. He is been to a lot of stuff. I know. We're not the only weirdos. Thank God. Thank you, Dominic. No, that's, and that's how we, we met him. We just kept seeing him everywhere. Well, and it's, it's a testament to seeing familiar faces over and over again. We have said this so many times on other episodes where we're like, you see people and you're like. You. You have commitments in you and the conversations change. They become deeper, which is the thing most people are seeking when they go to networking events. But you're not gonna get that on the first no conversation. It's like trying to get married on the first date. Not that I've been married. I was gonna say, speaking from experience. That's for another podcast. Well, you and I pulled out some themes that really jumped out to us when we were talking with Dominic in one of those. Was the need for community. Dominic talked really eloquently about the loneliness epidemic and his approach to that, his personal need for connection, but also what he sees in other people because he's putting these events out on a list for everybody, and then going to quite a few of them themself. And I, I think you and I both know that people have been starved for connection. We've been trying to create spaces for connection too, but I mean, like. At some point you gotta, you know, do it. Yeah. I, I couldn't help thinking when he was talking that you and I have had this conversation where a lot of it's mostly in, in women only spaces where you can tell that they don't have business friends.' cause they're surprised Yes. That they enter that room and they're like, oh. You do it too. And you and I like almost everyone is our friend. Yeah. Like runs their own business. Yeah. And we think that that's normal, but actually it seems that it's actually more common to be like all of my friends. Have nine to fives or are maybe a stay at home mom or like, what? That's so weird. It's does, but you can see why they would be lonely and you can kind of smell it when you walk in that room and you're like, oh, you. Are not used to this. Yeah. These conversations. Yeah. Yeah. Well, being able to have the conversations with the right people Yes. In the right context is, you know, and, and the art of discernment is important. Yeah. No, I, I did really love how he was saying that, um. He has really had to seek out people who have the same level of drive and are really passionate about building something like you're not just collecting a paycheck. Not to say that people who have really great corporate careers are just collecting paychecks.'cause I know there's people who really love their careers, but it is different when you get the luxury of clocking in and clocking out. And when you are in a more entrepreneurial space, you just don't really get that luxury and you're just always thinking about your business. Because you kinda have to,'cause you are everything. You are the leader, the CEO, you are the HR department. Frequently also the head of marketing and operations. And hopefully you've hired somebody to do C FFO for you. Yeah. And there's the old adage, you know, like you are the five, the sum of the five people you surround yourself with and Oh yes. If everyone else is not like you, you know. I, I can see why you'd be quite lonely. That's a problem. Yeah. I, I do think that you and I have talked in the past on other episodes about, I think it was in our Yes Friend episode about weight class. Yes. And we talked about how like in JV partnerships you talk about like playing with people in the same weight class, like similar list size, so you're not like punching too far above. And like the exchange becomes more equal and that you and I really bonded as Yes friends, because we really share a lot of the same emotional readiness weight class. And I think it kind of applies here too. Yeah. While we're digesting our notes from Dominic live on a microphone, and I'm thinking like there's also like an entrepreneurial passion weight class. and there is a spectrum in there because you do have some entrepreneurs where the stakes are lower, and I'm gonna say just the weight class is lower. Yeah. And, and then you have people who are all in, and I know I'm super biased at the moment because I've started recording for season three on my School of Moxie podcast. But I have this rule this season where the guests have to be economically, financially independent. Like you cannot have a dual income that bails you out. You cannot be riding on someone else's, health insurance premium. Like maybe you have it, but like if they lost it tomorrow, you could pay for all of it. And, and the conversations are. So different. Yep. They're so different and like there's a different weight class in people who have to hustle harder than others. And I think when we walk into the networking rooms and there's this awkwardness, I think it's people trying to sort themselves. And that's not to say that, that any of them are good or bad. It's all a no. A spectrum. Yes. But yes, you, I, I think there is that. Sorting. Yeah. Happening. Yeah. Yeah. Of like, how many of these do you go to, And it's like you will totally still enjoy talking with all the people and you'll have friends in all kinds of weight classes. Mm-hmm. But I think the loneliness comes from needing enough people in the same weight class. That was deep. That was deep. Good job. Thank you. Do I cut gold stars? So do we need to, we need to have like color coded system for your guests at the next, networking event. We're like, what weight class are you? Oh my God. Wouldn't that be interesting to have people? But I, feel like, you were having, when you put out your call, you had people who applied who didn't fit it. No. Who, who wanted to kind of fight you on it? Uhhuh. I think it takes a certain, someone who, I dunno, is comfortable with where they are or wants to Yeah. It is not to say that they have to like, that admitting is that there's a negative thing. No, but I think it's accepting where you're at, knowing where you're headed. there are people who are, because you might be where you wanna be. Yes. and there are people who are in that sort of. Description of that season of guests on that podcast. if somebody else was putting out a season like that and their weight class was higher, like I would, I would not be qualified for that. Like I did encourage people to tell me like, it can't hurt to apply. Like at least I know who you are and like, if there's a feature season, like I can put you somewhere else. But, I did find it interesting how many people were just kind of like hoping on vibes. That they could pay their bills. Yeah. And, and I'm like, I love where you're at. And I'm like, I'm going, maybe this form helps you figure that out while you're doing that, which is great. But like, I'm hungry for people. I don't, I don't literal really like using the term lonely, but I, I've been like itching to have more conversations Yeah. With people who have stakes as high as I do. And I was like, well, where are they? Like I keep meeting them. I meet them here, I meet them there, but I was like, I want more. I want more. Megan, more greedy. Gotta go to more events. Uh, damnit. Okay, go. It's fine. There's a list for that. Now. There is totally a list. What are we choosing? one of the things that Dominic also got into was the cost of being an organizer, which you and I intimately feel because we organized as well, and as we talk with more and more organizers. We are also hearing kind of a similar refrain that there's a cost in terms of time and sometimes in terms of supplies, but there is a cost. It's not to say you shouldn't go for it though, if it is what you want to do, but I, I think going in eyes open and I think to your credit, you mention it a lot when we go to places. You thank your host. Oh, I do.' cause they're my good Asian girl values. Yeah. and I think too often people don't seek out the host at a networking event and they might be surrounded by somebody, you know, but like, at least to thank them at the end on your way out the door. and I'm guilty of it too, a lot of times there's just so many events you go to and it's a given that it's going to be there. And that somebody else made it. And they should be lucky that all these people came, and yet they're doing labor, emotional, physical, monetary, lots of labor. Mm-hmm. Yeah. I love that he called it out. So specifically because for Dominic, he's got a banging job. In a very cool place and has chosen to pick up this flag and run with it. And I think if anything else, I think if somebody walks away from this episode, one of the biggest takeaways would be Recognize when somebody's doing some kind of labor, even if it's small, but especially if it's large, even if you don't realize how big it is, like Dominic is aggregating things. After you have asked, is there a list? And it's like, why? Yes, there is a list because this person behind the scenes, making sure that you have a list. Do we need to make a tip jar for Dominic? Yes. I think we made an emotional tip jar for like all of our guests who come on. Yeah. Because we have, we have done that at some of our events now. Yes, we've done tip jars and the tips vary. Our last happy hour had no tips. Uh, really? Mm-hmm. Oh my goodness. I think I didn't know that. Yeah. I think it's because it's the first time we've hosted it in a third space. Oh. That people had to like, go to the bar and buy a drink. Yeah. And everything wasn't just like handed to them, but when we have them in the studio, it's very few people who tip, but the people who do tip tip really, really well. Yeah. And when I see that come through on Venmo, I'm never surprised by the name that includes a tip. Yeah. Never. Oh, this is so interesting. Yeah. Okay, so I guess what I would say is the next time you're out networking and you see a QR code for a tip. Even if it's a dollar. Yeah, it's a thank you. It's a thank you. You made a space for me. Because I didn't make it. I mean, one way is to charge tickets for things. And depending on who's organizing an event or what the purpose is, they may or may not have tickets. But like when you and I go to demo malicious, especially the champion of champions, like there's ticket price. We knew what that ticket price was going towards. Whoever won the champion of champions was winning that kitty pool of cash. Yeah. It's like, congratulations to you. We love the guy who won this year. and when you go to regular events and you're trying to connect, I think it's important that we start talking about like, what is the cost of that mm-hmm. That you benefit from because other people are. Making things happen for you. Yeah. that, you are not able to do for yourself. I mean, we do it with everything. You take it for granted until that person just says, I'm kind of done. Yeah. And then you cry on the internet. Oh, don't cry on the internet. Don't cry. As our friend Tanya loves to say, don't cry on the shoulder of the internet. But yeah, I, wonder if that is a reason for people giving that heavy sigh and not wanting to have to take on the labor of organizing things. Mm-hmm. And I'm like, I can't say I blame you.'cause Yeah. I totally know what that feels like. Yeah. We had no idea we were gonna be, so like, wait, where's my sad trombone? I have to use it. Okay. the final pattern that we picked out from Dominic's talk. Was, and we have been hearing this by the way from other guests, dare say, it will show up through the end of the season, but go to things and stop over analyzing. Should I go, where do I go? What do I do? It's like just start going to things so you can find your actual yeses and nos. Dominic mentioned that he is now one of the organizers for e-Commerce Portland, which was a group that you and I found. And we have loved, and it was, we didn't know that Dominic was organizing it now. It was such a happy thing to hear about on the microphone. And do either of us do e-commerce? No, you have an e-commerce background. Yeah. But you don't do it currently? No, we're not shipping product. No. Do we get some of the best connections outta that group? Yes, and I just think like sometimes our community gets so stuck on like, well, I am this thing, and they're looking for specifically that thing. And it's like if the world has a total of. 10 underwater basket weavers, and you're looking for the one underwater basket weaver specifically in your city at the exact time on the day that you prefer, like, you're gonna be so dissatisfied with networking. Am I hitting the money on the head? I think, am I just like ragging on people really hard today? Well, I, we've talked about limits before. I think people need to go in with curiosity. I think there's something you can learn from all of these events I don't know. I see like weird merit badges that you get to earn, right? Like I went to a networking event about X and like, is that in my industry? No. Are you saying what you need to create a product? I do love a good product. oh. It's like the ads that keep getting fed on Instagram where they're like, it's an app and you walk like a fake pathway through life. Or it's even fictional. Like you walk to Mordor or something. Yeah. And to return the one true ring and get medal. And you get the medal for it. Do people need that for networking? Is this what we're talking about? Yeah.' cause I think people forget, like you said, they're so focused on just this one thing. And then they have blinders on. But like people are so multifaceted, and again, good people know good people. So if you meet somebody who's in e-commerce, they might know a really good bookkeeper that you need to meet, but you're not gonna go to the bookkeeper convention. You know, like, yeah, kind of sounds boring, but I would also go. But like I think having, curiosity is good. I think. Also, like you and I have talked about, and Dominic's in the group too, where we sometimes just like to go to events because we wanna see what's inside the space. I'm so glad that he said that. I was like, the desperate Housewives in me wants to know what's going on behind that door. And I and May, I mean, maybe that's one of the ways that we gamify it for ourselves. Mm-hmm. I mean, we all clearly do have natural curiosity. But also there's this fun element of like, well, what really happens in there? Like, all wanna know. But there, there's some really cool campuses around town businesses that host events. there's something fun about that, but also I just think like it. You know, it broadens your horizons and, and it, it gets you thinking differently too, and you're not just always in the same spaces there's something to be said psychologically for that. And I do think that that also kind of scratches that loneliness itch a little bit. Yeah. And then once you do find the ones that you like, you will keep going to those and dive deeper. But I think it's nice to have, I don't wanna call it like a throwaway event, but like. A special event once a month that you're like, here's my normal ones. And then I saw this weird and wacky one that I'm gonna go to. Well, when you go to the weird and wacky one, you are operating differently. Yep. So you're not trying so fucking hard. I dare say, I bet you do better networking in that room because you're just not, you're not being desperate. You're just not overanalyzing and over trying and overcompensating and over everything. You're just like, I'm just here. And I think that maybe no stakes. You know what? I think that's why e-commerce works for us, because when we showed up, we're like, eh, we don't do e-commerce. but our buddy Ben had, invited us when it first started and we were like, eh, we'll go like, we love Ben. Yeah, we'll go support. We were like, we're gonna go support Ben. And then we were like, we love this room. This is a great room. You know? it's because we just weren't trying. For anything. But we met good people through that. We met good people. And those good people have known a lot of other good people. I mean, what's the worst that would happen? Bad coffee. that is the worst that has happened. You can't even say you have like wasted time conversations because they all advance you in some way. and you really don't know the boundaries of the room for your bad conversations. So you've had a truly, truly bad, truly bad conversation. And then if you go, yes friend on the way home, you can dish it out. We've done that many times. They're very entertaining. That's it for today's episode of The Awkward Handshake. We record at Sasquatch Media Grounds in Vancouver, Washington. I'm Megan, co-founder of Fat Cap Design and creator of PDX Spellbound, and I'm Mary. Founder of Sasquatch Media Grounds and Sensible. Woo. You'll find links to everything we mentioned, guests, resources, and ways to connect with us in the show notes on your favorite podcast platform. That's also where you'll get updates on where we're headed next, and when we're inviting listeners like you to join us for guided networking in person and online. Don't be passive. Click the links. Pick better rooms. We'll see you there.