Things We Disagree On

In this episode of The Bond, we talk about the things we don’t always agree on and honestly, it’s a little all over the place, just like us 😅 But that’s what makes it real. This episode gives you a true glimpse into our relationship in its most honest (and funniest) form. We’re laughing through it all, and we hope you are too.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:13

Welcome to the Bond Beyond, a mother-daughter podcast for real conversations, real love, and real life meet. I'm Rashida.

SPEAKER_02 0:21

I'm Cast Today. Here we talk about the bond that goes beyond generations, beyond expectations, and beyond words.

SPEAKER_00 0:29

Our topic for today is things we disagree on. But we think that we don't disagree. So maybe this episode is a test of time for the both of us. Because right now we were kind of disagreeing on the topics of our podcast because I put them all together. And now that we're working on it, my mom has comments.

SPEAKER_02 0:52

I do have comments because when I read what we're going to be discussing, I have to like feel it. And if it doesn't like click to me, then I start asking questions and then she questions herself. And then and then she's like, well, we could just skip this one and let's do something else. I'm like, well, no, this is what you want to do, we could do this. And so she's all over the place with it. And I it it's it happens a lot with us. Yeah. So we don't disagree with like disagreements getting loud with each other and all those things, but we do disagree on certain things. So you were doing great.

SPEAKER_00 1:34

Thank you. I love that too.

SPEAKER_02 1:36

I love that you wanted to start this podcast. I love that you got the titles of each um, what are we calling them? Episodes. Thank you, episodes. She's gotta keep me in line. I love that you have I love that you have the subjects of the episodes all set and ready for us. We can brainstorm and then we hit play and we record. So we have just realized this is what we disagree on.

SPEAKER_00 2:02

Yeah. And two guys, this has been done for months now. But she checks it every time we're about to record. She doesn't look in advance.

SPEAKER_02 2:11

Oh gosh, no, because I have so many other tabs open in my brain and in my life that no, I don't do that.

SPEAKER_00 2:19

So what you think that we see the same but actually don't?

SPEAKER_02 2:24

What do I feel like we see the same but actually don't? That's I don't that's like a really hard one to think about. Does anything pop in your head?

SPEAKER_00 2:38

For me, I think when it comes to like certain things, like when I'm planning, you're like, Tass, did you do this? Did you do that? I'm like, no. I'm I'm like, yeah, but like I'm taking my time to do that. So like with me, you're we're different thinkers of when it comes to planning. Because like with you, you'll plan on an event three months in advance, three years, three years in advance, and me, I'll do it for like a month. And then you're like, Oh, did you send that out? Did you do this? I'm like, Yes, mom, I did. Or then sometimes you're like, Did you feed the dogs? I'm like, Yes, mom, I did. Because like I feel dog.

SPEAKER_02 3:21

You just said dogs. Oh gosh, we only have one.

SPEAKER_00 3:24

We only have one. Well, the animals, because we have a dog and a cat.

SPEAKER_02 3:28

Yeah, okay.

SPEAKER_00 3:29

So just like certain things that you keep me in line with, but I already do them. Gotcha.

SPEAKER_02 3:34

So that's something we see the same, but we don't. Yes. Okay. I was thinking more of a like in line of what do we see the same? So I'm gonna think of something we see the same. Cleaning. Cleaning, okay. We agree on cleaning and how cleaning should be done. So yes, we see the same with that. Um cooking. Yeah, we do see the same with cooking. Everybody, I've assigned days to my husband and Tassiday. Um, so that I don't cook every night. Who cooks in your house? Think about that. Everybody should help out, not just you, if you're just the main cooker. Um, but yeah, I don't, I'm trying to think of other things. I would say driving that.

SPEAKER_00 4:20

You always be correct to me the way I drive. She is scary.

SPEAKER_02 4:23

It is scary. It's it's very scary. Oh, if you're driving right now, don't raise your hand. But if you're just sitting around, you're on vacation, whatever, you're listening to this. If you are comfortable in the vehicle with your child, 16 or older, keep your hand down. If you are scared and you just want to correct them over and over again, raise your hand. Just so you know, my hand is raised. Um, I ride with Tass. I will say that Tass today and Michael, my oldest and youngest, they drive a lot like me. But when I'm in the car with them, it's it's very, very scary. Yeah, sometimes when you're driving up. I don't remember. I probably I don't think I've actually driven with Michael, getting off the subject real quick, so sorry. Driven with Michael like somewhere. No, we did parking lot and that scared me. The middle child, he's slow and steady. Amy's slow and steady when I'm in the car with him. When I'm in the car with him, but yeah, I'm always I do disagree with how you drive. Yeah, I'm always pointing out the speed limit signs. Always, she's good with her turn signals. Um I'm always telling Andrew how to drive too. Um, and he's not good with his turn signals. Um, but yeah. Excuse me. Um, but yeah, that's that's very interesting. See, this is why this is a good episode for you. Because you're gonna point out all the things and then it's all gonna click to me like, oh yeah. I do say that about that.

SPEAKER_00 6:00

But yeah, driving, that's a big one. The way that I do my laundry, she switches her laundry to three, I don't know if you still do that, but you make three piles of whites, lights, and darks. No, that was my mom when she raised me. Yeah, but then you I know I don't. I just make a pile in there. You used to.

SPEAKER_02 6:19

Because I don't care.

SPEAKER_00 6:19

You used to. And I used to taught you guys that way. Yeah. And you can't stand the way that I fold. You were like, is that how you is that folded? I'm like, yeah. You're like, okay. And then you refold it. No, I haven't done that in a while though. Yeah, but that was yeah.

SPEAKER_02 6:35

I help you, I help you switch your laundry because sometimes you're just so busy and it's sitting there.

SPEAKER_00 6:39

And I forget, yes.

SPEAKER_02 6:41

That's very but yeah, no. Um, that's how I was raised. It was towels were separate, lights, brights, and and whites, or colored whites and darks. So yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But no, I remember that. I would correct you guys, but no, I taught you guys at a young age on how to do your laundry too. So I just, you know, I could care less at that time. Um, obviously, cold water's the best um to do that. Yeah, I'm still in the driving thing in my head.

SPEAKER_00 7:10

Yeah, because of driving, bro.

SPEAKER_02 7:11

Driving.

SPEAKER_00 7:12

That's why every time we go somewhere.

SPEAKER_02 7:15

She just goes. Oh, we're supposed to be going somewhere this week, everybody. And she's like, Well, you have to I have to come home first, you know, do whatever, we'll go back out. She said, I'll drive. I said, I don't mind driving.

SPEAKER_00 7:27

You text back so quickly. I don't mind driving. I don't mind driving. No, because half the time, I was just offering it to because I thought you were tired of driving, but like for that day you come back from work. No, because I don't. Even when we're taking my car, I do not drive when she's with me. She drives my car or she drives her car. Like I just I don't know. Do you see the speed limit? It says 25. You were going 35. Slow down. I'm like, oh my god. Oh my sleep on guys, and I always use my turn signal, but it's my speed. It turns she's the person who flies too.

SPEAKER_02 8:08

Well, here's the thing I fly on the highway. I do, I really, really do. But the backwards I try to pay attention, especially when development, because you never know if a kid's gonna jump out, things like that. And that's just unfortunately is what I think about. And I don't ever want my children to be the cause of something, so that's why I'm just like, oh, her foot, you just I'll be going my pace. Yeah, yeah, I yeah, you do. That is definitely your pace.

SPEAKER_00 8:33

I gotta be somewhere, and I'm I'm excited to go where I'm going and get where I'm getting.

SPEAKER_02 8:37

That is me.

SPEAKER_00 8:39

But also half the time I forget where I'm going. Like if I'm driving, yeah, if I'm driving somewhere, I'm like, oh, I'm supposed to be doing this.

SPEAKER_02 8:47

And that's why half the time I have my GPS on, so it reminds you where to go. Because, too, like you're so used to going to work Monday through Friday. And so let's say you're going somewhere on the weekends and you're driving that same direction you go to work. Sometimes you just keep going. You're like, oh, I gotta turn here. So I do understand what you mean by that. But yeah, that's a good one. All right, so driving was the big one. What did you say after driving? Then we went back to driving.

SPEAKER_00 9:10

Laundry.

SPEAKER_02 9:10

Oh, laundry, but yeah, I don't think driving, laundry, cooking. No, I feel like cooking we agree.

SPEAKER_00 9:18

I just we agree on, but you gotta be outside of the kitchen because you'd be like, because before you'd be like, Tass uh, this is how I do this. I'm like, I do it my way.

SPEAKER_01 9:27

Yeah, I don't I don't do that anymore then. Yeah, I don't do that anymore.

SPEAKER_00 9:30

Yeah, so she stays out of the kitchen, that's why we don't disagree in the kitchen. But I don't like when my stepdad's in the kitchen with me. That's a whole different story for a topic later.

SPEAKER_02 9:40

Oh, but yeah, I'm trying to think. Okay, for me, no, I don't think there's what do you mean? Is there something that I feel as though we see the same and you don't? No. Yeah, I'm gonna say I already said that one. Yeah. Then what were you just thinking about?

SPEAKER_00 10:02

Because I know that there's something that you have in your brain.

SPEAKER_02 10:06

I don't have it now. You're too funny. You're too funny. We are human. That's what we are. Alright, our generations. Well, there we go with the laundry, the generations with the whites, the darks, the towels, the whatever. That was something that I I grew up with that you didn't understand and didn't make sense to you. Like, no. It's all going together, so that's that. I'm trying to think. Well, I will say washkoffs. Washkoffs.

SPEAKER_00 10:38

Never mind. I don't know why I said wash.

SPEAKER_02 10:40

Okay. Because we're talking about laundry. Listeners are probably like, what is happening there? So I will say there's with your generation with certain things. I mean, there's a lot that I disagree on. One could be the gosh darn music. Can't even say half of the words somebody's saying, but y'all are oh, there's a dance to everything. Why does there have to be a dance to everything? Everything. Like we just have the one dance, you know. Um, what's it called? One dance to just go with whatever song, or you're just doing a two-step, or you're snapping your fingers, but there is not saying it's you in general, just your generation. Like, there's a dance to everything. I just disagree on it. Like, why can't we just sway? Why can't we just clap our hands? Yeah, okay. There's a dance to everything that I th don't think I'll ever understand.

SPEAKER_00 11:38

Hmm. That's because of TikTok and all the social media. Yes. But like, no one does the wobble, like the like the back in the cute well, everyone still does cupid shuffle shuffle.

SPEAKER_02 11:48

People still do cupid shuffle.

SPEAKER_00 11:50

I love to dance though.

SPEAKER_02 11:52

Yes, that you do. But like you I I could not keep up with all the dances.

SPEAKER_00 11:56

I don't even know anymore half of the TikTok dances. Yeah, I can't.

SPEAKER_02 12:00

But here's the thing, even before they were TikTok dances, they were still happening because the music videos that the artist was doing, they were doing it in there, and everybody had a dance for it and all the names. So, like, with this generation now, I don't I disagree on the dances with every song. I don't understand it. And then the whole six, seven, oh yeah, how that started.

SPEAKER_00 12:24

Well, now there's a new word. Your birthday.

SPEAKER_02 12:28

What?

SPEAKER_00 12:31

Is it a question this week for helping Coach Lucky?

SPEAKER_02 12:34

Oh god, yeah. The middle schoolers, I don't and here's the thing: most of the trends, it's very rare to an elementary school. It is big in middle school. High school kind of dwindles down. It's so so funny. So literally, your birthday.

SPEAKER_00 12:50

Yeah. Meaning like they set like your extra. Like, because you know, you know how people with their birthday makeup. Like you! You get excited! What parties and stuff? They're like your birthday. I was like, at first I was like, what is that? Like your height? Like you're doing too much. I disagree.

SPEAKER_02 13:10

Oh, okay. Like, why can't we just use the words? My word back in the day was psych. Psych! Like, I would say that all the time. My mom would be pissed. Can you stop using that word? Blah blah blah blah blah.

SPEAKER_00 13:21

Six, seven, we got bruh, birthday.

SPEAKER_02 13:24

I just I don't I I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 13:26

Skippity do wrist or whatever.

SPEAKER_02 13:28

I I just can't. I yeah, there's so much, there's so much of that stuff that one I just don't understand. I I maybe I do disagree on most of it, but I don't understand it. Because of me, it just makes zero sense. All the different slang that's there, all the different things that are there, I don't know. I I have no clue. I and I probably will never understand it. And then when you know my children have children, gosh knows what they'll be saying and doing and all those things. Like so so funny. So, so so funny. Yeah, I I have no clue. I feel like um, I don't know, with you know, not even just my generation before that. I don't because there was no social media and things like that. So things one didn't catch on so quickly and die so quickly. That's the other thing. Nothing lasts anymore either. Oh, that's an old dancer, that's an old saying, like nothing lasts anymore, even clothing-wise, all those fashions back in the day are coming back. Yeah, it's so funny how people are wearing the clothes that people were wearing, you know, in the 60s and 70s and things like that. So I think that that's hilarious that that happens. Um yeah, uh there's a lot of different things. A lot of different things. I don't know. Yeah. But the generation now is it's very confusing. It's very, very confusing. I started the generation thing.

SPEAKER_00 15:02

Yeah, I know, but I don't you disagree with the dancing. I don't really know what I like with the generation.

SPEAKER_02 15:10

What we do?

unknown 15:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 15:12

You probably disagree on getting beatons. They don't they don't get them now, so yeah.

SPEAKER_00 15:20

I just I actually disagree with getting your phone taken away because like I'm grounded. Like that is so stupid. Because how are you supposed to contact me if something happens?

SPEAKER_02 15:30

Like back in the day, you just trust and believe that you'll make it home.

SPEAKER_00 15:34

I'm gonna take your phone and you're grounded, you're gonna be in your room, okay? Like, dude, that is something I don't disagree, like I disagree with taking your child's phone because like when they're in school, something happens, like that you can't text them real quick or call them, like and and see, there you go.

SPEAKER_02 15:53

I disagree on that because when I was in school, nobody was texting me because I'd had nothing to text on. So you're gonna be just fine if you're in school, the school is the one who contacts the parent to say that something is going on, and that is the problem with this day and age. They have to be able to reach that person immediately. And there's still some kids that don't have phones that are in middle school because their families don't allow them to, or if they do have phones, they have the most basic things, so they can't be on social media and all that stuff. Yeah, screen time, but yeah, so no, it locks. I didn't have a cell phone in school. If I got sick, I went to the nurse's office and the nurse called my mom. These kids now text come get me. Come get me.

SPEAKER_00 16:37

Yeah, because then because when you be asking, can I call my mom? No, you can't. So, because I want to go home. So get me, get me out of here. If I text you, come get me, you're coming. Like, they don't allow you to say that. They don't allow you to talk to them.

SPEAKER_02 16:55

Things have changed, things have truly changed.

SPEAKER_00 16:58

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 16:59

I think that's so funny. So, so funny. I feel like too, if I ever did take your phone, did I allow you to well? Here's the thing, I worked where you went to school, so it didn't make a difference. So I knew where you were. So yeah.

SPEAKER_00 17:10

Yeah, but I didn't even have a phone then.

SPEAKER_02 17:12

Yeah. So you didn't have a phone then, but understood.

SPEAKER_00 17:15

But just like the time when I got sent home on the bus.

SPEAKER_02 17:19

But you were elementary school, you wouldn't have had a phone.

SPEAKER_00 17:22

Well, I said, I said call my mom. My mom, she told me I was parent pickup. That teacher was not believing me.

SPEAKER_02 17:30

She sent me on the bus. Oh yeah. You're too funny.

SPEAKER_00 17:33

Certain things that authorities are like, whatever.

SPEAKER_02 17:37

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 17:37

I'ma do what I'm I'm gonna do.

SPEAKER_02 17:41

But yeah, the taking the phone thing, agree to disagree because it just all depends too what the child did to get it taken away. Woo woo whoop. Alrighty. So something. I know you guys are loving this episode. Something I wish you did differently.

SPEAKER_00 18:10

Nothing, I'm an angel.

SPEAKER_02 18:12

Oh, you're just a perfect little piece of heaven. A little slice of pie is what you are, my girlfriend. Um, I don't. I mean, at the moment when you were young, there might have been things that you I wish you didn't do. But as an adult, I don't I have no clue. Oh, here we go, here we go. Excuse me. With your brother, Michael the youngest. Just Tass, just don't even don't tas, don't even, don't even contribute. Don't even say anything back to him. I always gotta respond. Always has to respond. I do. Still to this day sometimes. And I just just ignore him, just leave it be. Nope, here we go. And once again, this where comes into play where I don't have a sibling to know, let me pick on them, let me do whatever with them. He loves when I chime in. Oh goodness. He it it entertains him. Does it?

SPEAKER_00 19:11

Yeah, it does.

SPEAKER_02 19:13

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 19:13

Because then we have a debate and then we go on for a couple minutes.

SPEAKER_02 19:17

So that is something that you still do that I would disagree on. And sometimes I ignore it. That's why we have our own rooms, thank goodness gracious. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 19:25

Um, well, too, sometimes you get into the conversation.

SPEAKER_02 19:28

I haven't done that in a very long time.

SPEAKER_00 19:30

Yeah. In the past, you get into the conversation. In the past. Mom, and this has to do with me and him. Yeah, not you.

SPEAKER_02 19:36

I would instigate. I will agree with him. Stay out of it.

SPEAKER_00 19:39

Just like today I had to say that. To who?

SPEAKER_02 19:45

I was like, to who? I wasn't who? What are you talking about? But yeah, so other I'm trying to think. What else? What else is something that I wish you would do differently? Excuse me. That just hits the top of mind to me. With your brother. What else? Anything that you say that I do that you wish I did differently.

SPEAKER_00 20:18

Um pretty much that all I had in my brain, but um differently, differently, differently, differently. No. It's been a long day, guys.

SPEAKER_02 20:40

We got something that reminds you of me. So is there something that we both do that we're like, oh, we did that again, or why did we do that? Or is there something in that matter? Like, you know, that maybe we agree on it, but someone on the outside looking in disagrees.

SPEAKER_00 20:58

Maybe how much we are, how much we hang out.

SPEAKER_02 21:01

Yeah, that's what I was gonna say. Just like today.

SPEAKER_00 21:05

Oh, just like today. What happened today when I was talking to the uh coach, okay? Coach Day. Hi, um, she said, I was like, oh yeah, me and my mom do everything together. He was like, No, you don't. I said, Oh yeah, we don't got to say men. That'd be weird.

SPEAKER_02 21:25

No, we share we share clothes and shoes. You're special. Oh, goodness gracious. But yeah, I would say anybody on the outside looking in, like our bond, us being together, traveling together, doing those different things together, I would definitely uh say that from anyone on the outside looking in that might disagree on it.

SPEAKER_00 21:47

Um, because once again don't force any relationships with your children. Oh, yeah, I disagree on things.

SPEAKER_02 21:52

Yes, it'll happen. If it's meant to happen, it will happen.

SPEAKER_00 21:55

Yeah, because then I sometimes my mom's like, don't go to your room home. Spend time with you. I'm like, uh I'm tired.

SPEAKER_02 22:04

Or I'm the opposite. I'm coming upstairs. Where are you going? I'm like, I'm tired. I just want to be in my bed. Yeah. So yeah. I mean, and too, we have our own space. We we do know our boundaries with each other, also. Yes. Yes, we do know our boundaries, and our communication is very clear. Um, we're very kind to each other, we're cordial to each other, we give each other respect. Which is definitely number one, because there's a lot of relationships, excuse me, that people don't respect the others or anything like that. So that's why I said we really don't like it's not like we come home every day or you come home from whatever you just did, and as soon as you come in the door, I'm yelling at you, why'd you leave this? or why'd you do that? Like there's there's none of that or anything like that. If something comes up, if something comes up, we're either texting each other or communicating with each other and things like that. So I will say that yes, we are human.

SPEAKER_00 22:57

Yep.

SPEAKER_02 22:57

Excuse me, we do make mistakes when, as I've spoken about it before, if I know that I am wrong or incorrect, I will admit it, I will apologize, I will do all those different things because I want to be able to have a relationship with my children. I would I feel bad for the people who don't have that relationship with their children, and especially when their children's families are growing and you're not a part of that. So that's something I would never, never want. Yeah, I I can't remember ever, you know. Of course, we've had our downfalls, we've had our disagreements, we have arguments, but when you were um younger, not like as an adult or anything like that. Not now.

SPEAKER_00 23:36

The only thing I really do is leave my dishes in the sink and don't put them in the dishwasher.

SPEAKER_02 23:41

I always say, I can't wait till you move. I want to see what your house looks like. It's gonna be clean. It is gonna be clean. But she's always just I'm not used to a dishwasher. No, that has nothing to do with it. You your mind is so many different places. So you're done eating, you put it in the sink, but you were on your phone looking at something or reading something, or or a tab popped up in your head, and you're like, Oh, I have to send this email or do something else. So you're always at these different paces, and then oh, but my favorite thing is when you make tea, it's the cup, the cup just sits there. We have a curing machine, she'll go and hit it, hot water, put the teabag in, maybe no teabag, and then I'm already in my room for the night. You know, we leave for work and everything in the morning, not paying attention, and then it's the next night. I'm like, oh, you made tea? Oh, that that was last night. Yeah, yeah, and then she pours that out. So once again, cannot wait till she moves and to see how her place is all put together and everything else, because she's always doing 10 things at a time and forgetting the first thing she started. Yeah, yeah, you're really, really good for that.

SPEAKER_00 24:50

So I got uh a small attention span. That's what we're calling it. Yeah, I guess. Like I start something in the house. Oh no, I understand attention span. Yeah, yeah. But I still get things done. You do, you do get things done. Not in a timely manner, but I get it done. I do what I am supposed to do. Because we don't really have chores, we just delegate things.

SPEAKER_02 25:18

We do just delegate things. I would say the the one Emil had trash, Michael recycled, and you were there was oh, nothing assigned to you, but they share a bathroom. So I did assign different things for the bathroom that changed. Why is one doing less than the other? There was all that disagreement, yeah. Especially Michael, why is Emil doing one thing and I have to do two or three? Like that was a disagreement that was happening. So understood that. But once again, it's it's not my bathroom, I call it their bathroom. Um, reason being is because those three use it. Don't get us wrong, if another bathroom's not available, other people are gonna use it, but they would disagree with me with who was cleaning what. So sign the toilet, the floor, the sink, the mirror, and the tub slash shower. So there's five things in three people. So just the way that it would get uh divvied up. So yeah. Because two, I mean, I didn't have anyone to split the chores with me growing up.

SPEAKER_00 26:22

But now they don't do it at all. Yeah, it's just me in the bathroom.

SPEAKER_02 26:26

I do send reminders. One is not living at home right now, he's moved out temporarily. But nobody does the trash. I do they fill up the trash. Oh, yeah, yeah. So yeah. So there's a lot of disagreements with certain things, but I would say minimal things. Yes, everyday life things. Yeah, nothing. Not not crisis, yeah, not like serious and insane, not like crisis or anything like that. So I would I would say that we're good and set with that.

SPEAKER_00 26:57

Yeah, we'd be chilling.

SPEAKER_02 26:58

We'd be chillin'.

SPEAKER_00 26:59

We'd be chilling.

SPEAKER_02 27:00

So yeah, so everybody is everybody is past that point. Um, in that. Would you say there's anything else that we disagree on, or maybe within the household, or anything like that?

SPEAKER_00 27:14

Not in I don't think any more things in the household. But like finances, I don't really think we disagree on any of that. I pay all my things on time. Sometimes I can't.

SPEAKER_02 27:30

We can't disagree on that because everybody has their own. Yeah. I'm like, everybody has their own.

SPEAKER_00 27:37

So never mind, guys. I disagree in my head. They don't be hearing my thoughts about that.

SPEAKER_02 27:42

That is correct, because that's your your own bills and your own things that you have to pay.

SPEAKER_00 27:47

Yeah. Very true. Yeah, and two well, you're an only child. You didn't really have to disagree with anyone but mom.

SPEAKER_02 28:00

Yes. That was it. That was my person, it was my mom.

SPEAKER_00 28:08

Okay. Well, thank you guys for listening to this episode. We really appreciate it.

SPEAKER_02 28:16

Oh, we want you to know that you are loved, you are valued, and you are never alone. This is the bomb beyond.

SPEAKER_00 28:25

Where connection goes deeper than words.