I Radiate Confidence

What if confidence isn’t something you perform — but something you carry?

In this episode, we explore quiet confidence, self-trust, and what it means to stop shrinking to be accepted.

If you’ve been silencing yourself, second-guessing your voice, or seeking validation — this conversation will bring you back to center.

You are allowed to take up space.

Comment “CONFIDENT” if this spoke to you.

Awaken the wide-eyed woman within.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hello beautiful. Take a breath. You're exactly where you need to be. Welcome to the Big Eye Girl Podcast, a space for real conversations, honest reflection, and learning how to see life through a bigger, wider lens. I'm so glad you're here. Whether you press play because you're searching for clarity, growth, or just a moment to breathe and feel seen, you're in the right place. And around here, we talk about things that shape us the challenges, the shifts, the lessons, and the quiet moments in between that often matter the most. This is a space where you don't have to have it all figured out. You just have to be open. So wherever you are right now, driving, walking, or just sitting with your thoughts, settle in. Take what you need from this conversation and allow yourself to see things a little differently today. Let's get into it. Sometimes I knew exactly what to do, and I just would lean to somebody else and ask them their opinion, what they thought about it. Should I do it? And then once I heard what they had to say, what I knew, the power of my own confidence started to slowly dwindle, slowly walk away, slowly leave me. And then I went into my head. Then I start thinking, and I'll start adding to it and subtracting to what I believe to do. And it led me into performing. When you perform, you have to think about it. You're given a script, someone is telling you how to act, you're being directed, right? That is performing. When you have confidence, you know, confidence is like your intuitions, your gut feeling. I just know I'm supposed to do this. You speak boldly, you just know it because you know it. You know the truth, you know the fact, but you know the truth because truth supersedes facts. But when you don't understand that your confidence is in you and you don't need to go outside of you to get it, you will perform. Now I realize, I realize, it's something that I carry, it's something that when I walk in a room, you get you get I get looked at sometime. I'm like, well, why are they looking at me like that? Until someone you can confide in some with someone or someone you talk into someone on a personal level, and they say, you just have so much confidence, and little do they know what you battle within, but your confidence is still radiating because this confidence comes from being still, making room for growth, being in a space of knowing who you are. This confidence stems from just being in those deep, dark, sometimes dark, sacred places. Sometimes we think that dark means evil. Sometimes the darkness is sacred. You got to think about when something is being when a seed is planted into the earth, it's being planted into some dark soil. It's no one knows what's going on down there, in there, and that's what confidence is. When you go into healing and you go into facing those spaces and those places and those things in an innermost in a in the innermost part of your soul, you're nurturing your confidence. It takes confidence to go into the dark places, it takes confidence to face yourself, it takes confidence to walk in a room with your head held up and you have no, you know that you study to show yourself approved. It takes confidence to trust God in every step of the way. It takes confidence to walk by faith, it takes confidence to raise that child, it takes confidence to prepare a meal, it takes confidence to exercise, it takes confidence, it takes confidence. And guess what? All that comes from something that you already carry. We carry it. I carry confidence, sis. I radiate confidence, you radiate confidence. Confidence is internal, it's like I just said, it's inside, it's nurtured. Sometimes when my son is about to do something, he's in band. So he's been in taekwondo, he's in type, he's been in taekwondo, and then you know, different activities, extracurricular activities, right? And sometimes I can notice that he's a little nervous, or when it's time to test, he gets nervous. And I started to do affirmations with him years ago when he was younger. Before um, as we were riding to school, doing breath work with him to nurture his confidence. Confidence has to be nurtured, though. Again, this is internal work. This is not something that external that we perform. We can't work confidence on the outside. Oh, I can work it, I can I can show them I can get all the numbers, and I can do all the group activities, and I could be the leader, all this performing. That's not confidence. Confidence is knowing that you can go in and you can bring a team together, and trusting that you know that it's not all on you. So I would teach Noah, my son, how to speak confidently to himself to himself when he got nervous, when negative thoughts came to his mind, or anxiousness kind of started to flood him. Root himself and ground itself in confidence. I would share with him scriptures that greater is he that's in him than he that's in the world. That's building confidence. This is internal work. Confidence is not loud, going around, boasting, talking about I did this, I did this, I yeah, it's me. You can see the that's not confidence, it's arrogance, especially when you're saying it and it's not it's falling on deaf ears, or it's not healthy. Confidence is stable, it's rooted. Like I said, greater is he that's in me than he that's in the world. That's a stability knowing that the God of the universe, the creator of all is with his spirit is within me. So I'm confident that if he led me to it, he'll gonna get me through it as long as I stay in him. That's internal work, that's internal meditation, meditating on the word day and night, meditating on the things that are good, that are a good report, that's that builds the confidence to go forth and the things that we're called to do. Confidence grows when you trust yourself. So the more that you step out on what you're called to do, the more your confidence builds. You have this emotional safety within yourself, you start trusting the promptings, you start trusting the nudging from the last episode of being called. You start understanding. Oh, this is how this works. The dots start connecting. You honor your feelings. You're honoring what you're going through, the emotions, the ups and downs, the is the fear there. Okay, if it's fear there, that means that you know I gotta lean into my faith a little bit more. I have to be honest about the feelings. I gotta ask myself, why am I what am I what am I feeling and why am I feeling this? This is gonna help you build and strengthen that confidence, and so it can spill over and just in into all areas of your life, not just one all areas. You stop abandoning yourself, you stop putting yourself on the wayside. Like, I don't have to do that. No, I can't do that. Girl, I ain't brave enough to do that. Or I thought about it, but yeah, I'm not ready yet. Build your confidences. This is scripture in Proverbs 31. And we all, you know, most of us are familiar with Proverbs 31. We always like, yeah, I want to be a Proverbs 31 woman. I love it, and you know, I want to be just like her. I don't know where that voice came from, but you know, yeah. But the scripture reads, it's Proverbs 31 and 25. Strength and honor are her clothing, she shall rejoice in time to come. Strength and honor are her clothing. That's confidence, strength and honor. That means she's walking in what she's walking in what she knows within her that was given to her, that she's called to do, and in that she honors herself by doing it, by being obedient to it. You dishonor yourself and God when we don't do what we're called to do. But the moment that we tap in, baby, you start to feel like one, all eyes are on you because you radiate, you you radiate confidence, you radiate, your aura is just shining, you have a smile on your face, you're kind to people, you're speaking, you're not holding your head down, you have make eye contact, you're walking in, and if you and it's not this is not saying like, oh, I know everything. I'm walking in and I know everything better than anybody, and I'm I'm this, and this is this is my title. No, that is not confidence, that's arrogance. It's a difference. Be confident in your words that you speak, how you speak to people. You want them to be received. That doesn't mean that you're catering to everyone, you're not performing for them. Confidence doesn't allow you to I'm pausing here because a lot of us seek a validation, and I I believe I'm talking to probably not a younger person who's gonna hear this, and probably sometimes people don't think that they're really seeking validation when they are. I I suffer from this, wanted to know what people thought because in that seeking a validation, it was the people pleaser. Wanted to make sure everybody was happy and content around around me and that I made them feel good and comfortable with me. See, that's the part of the call, right? That's the part of the call that separates you. And you say, I don't, I don't want to be so separated from what's familiar, but the call requires you to have a certain level to walk and live in a certain level of confidence that is aligned with your call. Because if not, you're going to always get lesser than because people let me tell you this, they don't know what God said about you. You don't even know the full scope of what God said about you. That's what's walking, that's what becoming is about. That's what this whole thing is about. You don't know exactly what to expect. You're being shown the picture as you go in obedience. So, since if you are the one that has to ask people what they think, and I'm not saying that it see, this is the thin line between asking for godly wisdom and direction in something or prayer in something versus you looking for someone to tell you exactly what to do with your circle, your situation, they can't do exactly what you want. You're gonna have to see God on your own, and if you need some wisdom or clarity, that's different. I had a situation where I was talking to a business associate of mine. She's a friend, and I reached out to another friend to help ask her help with a situation I was in. Now, my French, it would have put her in as far as integrity-wise, for her and I, it would not have looked good, it would have been between it wasn't nothing illegal, but it was slightly on that level, it was misrepresentation, right? I'm being trans, I'm being transparent here with y'all. And this is I'm giving this example because this is what seeking godly wisdom versus validation. So I'm on the phone with Tamara, and I said, I tell her what I was gonna go do, and she was listening to me, quiet, giving me her full undivided attention. And then she says to me, she said, so what is God telling you to do? Yo, y'all, I can remember this day, like yesterday, because it wasn't, it was just a couple months ago. This happened, this conversation happened, and I'm gonna let y'all know I can I can see myself right now, it is clear where I was sitting. I was sitting in the parking lot, about to go into this building. It was rainy outside, and when she asked me that question, I said, you know what? You a real friend. I said, because you know what? I said, God ain't telling me to do that. She said, so why are you doing that? I said, because I want to hurry up and expedite a thing. And she said, don't do that, wait on God. And me waiting on God was a trust factor. I had to, that was a clarity that I needed. So that ladies is like that's looking for clarity. I didn't necessarily want her to tell me what to do. I was venting for the most part, but then she listened to all that and she said, What is God telling me? She didn't give me her opinion, she didn't give me any of that. So valid this to seek and valid versus godly clarity, seeking godly counsel, and seeking validation. Validation is when you perform. Oh, I I I'm the best at work, and this is, you know, I have the I my my kind of parts, my leadership can always call on me because I'm always available. I'm even when I'm tired, I'm available. Even when I'm exhausted, I'm gonna be available for them. I'm gonna give them exactly what they want when they need it. Overextending yourself, not honoring yourself, not having boundaries, not seeking God about anything. You're seeking the approval of the people around, and I get that's validation. I need to, I need them to tell me that I am good, or you may be in church, or you may be uh in the workplace, self-employed, employed, not employed, looking for someone to tell you you're valuable, you're validated. No, greater is he that's in you than he that's in this world. Since you are good, good, tap in, take your moment and reel it in and ask God, how do I stop seeking validation? Internal validation creates peace. Once you are validating, once you trust that God got you, honey, it's a peace that comes over you, that worry, that burden, that heaviness, it starts to dissipate. It's you don't even it doesn't weigh, it don't it is not wearing down on you anymore. That's what we want when we walking into a room, when we walking in our lives, we're walking in the park, walking in a coffee shop, walking in the mall, walking with our our our booth thing, walking with our children at the basketball, soccer games, walking with confidence that we know what we're doing when raising these babies. And if we don't know what we're doing, we're humble enough to ask for some godly wisdom, some godly counsel, some assistance. This is when you walk in a when you're embracing being radiant. Rated it, radiant that rated it. When you're I want to say this, I'm I'm stumbling here. Because this is an area of my life that I'm walking through myself, y'all. I ain't gonna lie. Walking in the fullness of me, because this is what it is. When you walk in your confidence, oh you showing up as you, all of you, and I'm not talking about like, oh yeah, because I'm a you know, what the world, the what culture said we have to show up. No, show up authentically as you are. If you are a very studious woman, aka, a like little nerd, bookworm, just you have a certain aesthetic about you, you know, you wear the clogs or uh free people clothing, or you know, you're very artsy, show up. If you are glamorous, Gucci Louie sister, show up. If you are a little bit urban, hip-hop, very diverse, however, show up. This is saying you like law, you like uh a lot of different unique things. Let me just say that. Show up and be confident in it, be kind in it, show up in the fullness of your calling and it acknowledge God and every step in it. Because you don't need permission to be who you are, you don't need permission to be the young lady or the woman who likes to go out into nature and just lollygag. Or you like going to get ice cream instead of going to the club, walking in the park, taking day trips, taking solo trips. You a family or you a family-oriented woman, or you just or you a business woman, or you're a carpenter and you're a woman. You like building stuff. Show up. Show up exactly how you are when you need to be who you are. This confidence we needed in this world right now. Y'all there's so much going on with with the voting, with legislation, with Congress, with the house, all of it is missing children. It's a lot going on in the world right now, and we need us all to show up authentically, not in a negative space, like we you this is not saying giving you rights to be nasty or excuse your rudeness for you being this is who I am. No, I'm talking about if you have been what listening from previous episodes, we went from healing, becoming healing to wholeness to becoming. This is the process. Now is the season of coming out. It's spring. Things are blooming. Viewing Georgia is getting greener and greener because we got so many trees down here. I what's one thing I love about Georgia? Honey, it's so many trees down here. It's just green. And I believe it's just a very beautiful symbol, symbolism, or symbolic of us all coming out. Coming out of being in the house all day or working and to being more outside, but but also internally, which you've been working on in your privacy, in your sacred spaces. Now is a time you had a stage and you don't have to perform. The stage is yours, and the stage says, This is your turn to come show up. What you got to say to the people. Because we all got something to say. We all called. Many are called. I'm gonna say all of us. I'm gonna read. So the ones that's called, I'm talking to you. And I already hear well, I don't know if I'm caught. If you listen to this, you called as as the Holy Spirit. You a believer, if you're a Christian, and you've answered that call and you asked him into your into your life. You call, baby. Allow yourself to be to become and to walk in uh your fullness of your confidence. Allow yourself to radiate confidence. This resonates with you. In all honesty, I I stumbled, I struggled with talking about this. And I I don't know why. Maybe it's because I'm in this space, like this is this is a space I'm in right now. Like, currently, me coming out even the more. And when you're in that space, again, like y'all, I'm not come, I'm not on here to say that I'm perfect and I've mastered all. Some of these are testimonies that I have already overcome, and some of them, some of the storytelling is the fact that I have, I'm here. I'm here with you. I just thank you for thank you all who listen to allow yourselves to be in this space. And I pray that this space is safe for you to listen and share and feel the feels and ask yourself and journal it out where you can know that you're not alone. Sometimes it's just that we just need to know that we're not alone. I'm not alone because the thoughts get overwhelming, they get overpowering, all-consuming, all those things. But I keep hearing in my spirit greater is he that's in you than he that's in this world. So, sis, if you are listening and this resonate, do me a favor. Just comment, confident in all caps. And remember to awaken that wide-eyed woman within you. Until next time, remember, I radiate confidence. Before you go, I just want to say thank you for being here and choosing to spend this time with me. It really means more than you know. If this episode spoke to you in any way, the best way you can support the Big Eye Girl Podcast is by simply following the show right here where you are listening. That way you never miss a conversation. Because new episodes drop every week. And if something you heard today made you think of another woman in your life, a friend, a sister, a coworker, share this episode with her. You truly never know how a conversation can shift someone's perspective or give them exactly what they needed to hear at that right time. This space is about growth, honesty, and seeing life through a bigger, wider lens. And it only grows stronger when we bring other women into it. So follow, share, and keep the conversation going beyond this episode. Until next time, stay open, stay hopeful, and keep living wide eye.