What Healing Actually looks like when Nobody’s Watching— Edit

Nobody posts the 2am crying. Nobody posts the therapy session where you finally said the thing out loud. Nobody posts the quiet Tuesday morning when something in you just... shifted.

But that is what healing actually looks like.

In this episode, Key Glover pulls back the curtain on the version of healing that never makes the highlight reel — the kind that happens in private, in the in-between, when no one is watching and no one is clapping.

We're talking about what it really means to be renewed — honoring how far you've come, grieving the versions of yourself you had to leave behind, and recognizing the quiet miracles of growth that happen when you're not even paying attention.

This episode includes a releasing breathwork practice, the Week 2 affirmation spoken aloud, and an honest conversation anchored in 2 Corinthians 5:17.

Because the healing you do in private? That is the most powerful kind.

📓 This week's journal prompts:
· What has healed in you quietly that you haven't given yourself credit for?
· What is God calling you to release right now?

🎙️ New episodes every Tuesday. Follow @bigeyedgirlpodcast on Instagram for weekly affirmations and journal prompts.

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:09

Hello, beautiful. Take a breath. You're exactly where you need to be. Welcome to the Big Eye Girl Podcast, a space for real conversations, honest reflection, and learning how to see life through a bigger, wider lens. I'm so glad you're here. Whether you press play because you're searching for clarity, growth, or just a moment to breathe and feel seen, you're in the right place. And around here, we talk about things that shape us the challenges, the shifts, the lessons, and the quiet moments in between that often matter the most. This is a space where you don't have to have it all figured out. You just have to be open. So wherever you are right now, driving, walking, or just sitting with your thoughts, settle in. Take what you need from this conversation and allow yourself to see things a little differently today. Let's get into it. Now look at where you are today. I need you to see that. Because healing has been happening in you even when you didn't have a name for it. I want us to go into something that you can practice in every day or when you need it. And this is a release breath. I want you to think of one thing, one habit, one mindset, one version of yourself that you are ready to release. You don't have to announce it to anyone. Just hold it in your mind. Now breathe in deeply and use. And as you breathe out, let it go. Release it. It does not get to come with you where you're going. So now with me. Breathe in through your nose slowly. Release it out. Let's take two more of these deep breaths. In through the nose slowly. Release it out the mouth. One time, one more time collectively. In through the nose slowly. And out through your mouth slowly. Release it all the way out until you feel no breath coming out. The new is here. So let's embrace it. The affirmation that the affirmation for this week. And I want you to speak it with me. And if you can't speak it with me, just listen. That's okay. Allow me to speak it over you. Healing is not linear. And that's okay. Every single day I am being made new. God is not finished with me. And the woman I am becoming is worth every harsh season I survive. Post it somewhere. Put it somewhere where you can see it. In your car, on your phone, on your iPad, on your laptop. If you want to be fancy like me, get a dry erase marker and array on one of your mirrors. I put it on a mirror that's in my bedroom. Well, actually, the one in my bedroom has a prayer on it. So I put it on my mirror in my bathroom, though. And that way, every morning, every moment, anytime I go into the restroom, I see it. And I allow myself to speak it. I may not speak it really loudly because I'm not trying to convince anyone. However, I am renewing my mind to something that's new, that's fresh, that's positive, that's reminding me of who I am in God. The position I have in Christ, the position I have in the kingdom, the position of authority, the identity that I hold. The affirmations are just a subtle reminder in places that you may not see an affirmation, especially in your own script. So do this for yourself. The moments you may walk in the bathroom or walk in a room or be in your in your car and you have it on a sticky note, and a friend gets in the car with you, or a family member gets in the car with you. And you never know what a day a person is having, but they'll read that and they'll brighten up their day. Or speak to a moment in their life or situation, something they're regurgitating in their mind that they may need to release, or they need to speak over. However, you post it, wherever you uphold you hold it up. Just make sure you speak it. Because words have power, y'all. We are children of God who were created by the Spirit of God, by the word of God. And that one spirit lives within us, and it's giving us the same power and dominion to do the same thing. So when we speak something, remember we're creating. So be mindful. That's all I'm saying. So let's get down to it, y'all. Alright. Renewal you didn't see coming. You just didn't. You've been in a place, and I can share, I want to share something specific because the last couple of years. Yeah, the last couple years, I've been in a place where I know the last three years, three years ago, I rem I can remember driving because I was in Detroit at a time. I was driving in the NBA. Most of my days, the last time in Detroit, were heavy. Every day was heavy. It was just, I felt like um, I forgot the little boy on Charlie Brown. And hope y'all, yep. Charlie Brown had the dust. Was it Lightest? I think his name was Lightest. Everywhere he went, he just because he was a little dirty, something. But he was with the crew, especially when they got the dancing, honey. Little, they drew the animation. They had Lightest with a little dust cloud around him, a little dirt cloud. Anywho, it three years ago, I will be driving, and I can remember days that was just heavy. It could be sunny outside, and I felt like I had the dust cloud. And I remember praying prayers of God, just restore my joy. Father, I just want my joy restored. I want my joy restored. If you're getting me out of here, just restore my joy. And then it was a and then it was also the survival mode that I seen, I had thrown myself back into unbeknownst to my decision. I didn't think my decision was gonna throw me back into survival mode. So in those moments, I was just like, oof. But the days that I would get a glimpse, like a moment where I could feel the joy. I could taste it. It was just like a like, you know how you get that ice cream, like, dang, you want an ice cream, or somebody say, Oh, you want to taste it? It's not yours yet. You don't got your own, it's theirs. But they allow you to have a taste. When you savor that taste and you hold it and you remember it, and it's like what you need, and you say, Oh, next time I'm gonna get that. I was three years ago, I was in a season of that. I was a I was tasting. I was at a taste fest in life, a taste test season. And fast forward now, um it's been lighter, it's been a little grander, it's still it has been me being disciplined and being a good steward over things, and I've been in a season where stewardship has been high on the radar, and God has been asking and requiring things of me that was that have been hard or challenging, and I'm being 100, like, oh god, but it was it's obedience to it, and with the challenging is like, oh Lord, do I gotta do that? Okay, and you and with my own mind, I'm trying to think of why God is asking me to do a thing, and because it don't make sense of anything, because in hinds, you know, it's honesty sometimes when we think when God is asking us to do something, we some people I know why I can't say we. I I'm gonna say hi. My mind goes into what is gonna happen for me. Is this connected to what I'm believing for? Is this connected to what I'm believing for? I think that's just the human nature. And I said, God, and my prayer that I prayed recently, God, continue to get me to the get me to the point where when you say to do something, I just do it. I don't think about myself. I think about just doing it out of obedience and remembering that I did it. And I believe maturity may take you to another level. God, as long as it glorifies your kingdom, it's giving glory and honor to your kingdom, and remind me if it's if it is a connection, remind me in your time of this. Not so much of the mindset. Well, if I do this, it's gonna be tied to something that I I won't. That's not mature, that's it. Well, that's immaturity. So recently I re I experienced um a miracle. So in receiving it, one day I was driving, and I can physically feel a difference in me. I don't know if y'all ever felt like I felt felt a physical renewal. Like I know I'm riding down streets that still look the same, you know, here in Georgia, especially Metro Atlanta, they're doing a lot of reconstruction, roads are different, pathsway is new paths being made. And it's interesting because where I am, what's happening in me personally, is almost like naturally I'm seeing it in the world that I'm in, meaning the city that I live, the place that I live. Newness is around me, but now I feel the newness within me. Like I feel I have shifted, I feel like I have been elevated. And one day, as I was writing this this particular day, I asked the Holy Spirit, I said, What is that, Lord? What is this that I'm feeling? Like I feel different, I feel like I'm in a new place. It feels new, it feels unfamiliar, it feels like I've never been here before. But I believe I have tasted it. That taste that I was getting three years ago is now my portion. I had to track, I had to tread for three years through a failed relationship, and God showing me, probably showing both of us, him and I, why things couldn't have been. But no, love is lost, love is still there, though we don't talk. I'm not angry at him, and I'm sure he's not angry at me. However, God's hand is in both of our lives, even though I don't see him, I believe that by faith. I believe it because I can feel it. I believe it that when I pray and I ask God gives me a nudge or a certain type of peace. Three years ago, my identity was being wrecked. I forgot that I was a child of God. I forgot I was functioning from uh a low place versus a sonship place. I was I was functioning from a place of, please, Lord, help me, please, Lord, help me. To God, you said in your word that I am this and I am that. You see how the difference in that authority. I I was going back and forth with myself until I got to a point as I'm walking the journey that God began to reveal to me and to heal me. It was ugly, it was sad, it was dark, it was days where I cried, it was days where I shut down, I was surviving. And the war really, the one of the wars was I knew in within me, deep down within me, this ain't my portion, this ain't it. But I was in warfare, I was fighting. But fast forward present present day, I'm writing down, can't remember shoot. I was writing down, and it was recently, y'all. Like this is recent. This ain't no oh last you know, last year, last month. No, this is recent. This is I'm with y'all in real time that I'm thriving, and I feel it, I see it on me, and it feels good. I had to let go of some identity, I had to let go of some, I had to grieve some places, I had to grieve some relationships. I had to become a better steward over my finances, over my time, over my mind, over what had access to me, exercising boundaries, getting into the word, remembering who I am, being reminded, being refreshed, and now I'm in a new place. Praise the Lord, praise the Lord of Saints. I'm in a new place. I got joy, and I've always had it, but now I own it. Now I walk there in it. Now I have possessed it. Now it is a tool that I use. It's a smile that I greet my fellow family member, friend, associate, or even a stranger with versus just a stare. It's what I worship God with. My joy. So the things that were healing and equiling, like I was saying, was I noticed so much in those seasons. Looking back at it now. How I view relationships, what I wanted in the spouse, how I settled, how I was Mrs. Fixer Upper. Uh huh. How I thought that, oh, I'll I'll help him, I'll help him with that, I'll make him this, I'll make him that. How I left God out. Even probably, and people say, well, key, people that probably you know know know me, and you never really left God out. Well, you don't really know how I am functioning in relationships, unless you're in a relationship with me. And I probably my ex probably wouldn't say that either. Um, but you you know, as a person, what being a child of God, being called, being uh uh called by God, chosen by God, and understanding your identity, you know when you're not functioning at your highest of your identity, you're not in your identity wholeheartedly. You you're not in your identity, you're not functioning at 100%. You're like, oh, I do it at 20%. The other 80% is like 20%. I'm doing trying, you know, I'm trying to do both. Realizing that the surviving mindset and how it's functioning, how it's being manifested in the earth in my life was was a stark contradiction of who I am, whose I am, how I'm encouraging other people, I'm speaking life into other people. And it's like, okay, when are you gonna do that to you to for yourself? When are you going to speak that to yourself? When are you going to let yourself know what you have? Let all your clients know, friends, family, strangers. Do that for key. Those are things I was as I was healing. I was realizing that I was not doing it consistently for me, showing up for me. I had to get back to it. And I had to let things go that I didn't want to let go. But I knew I had to do it not just for me, but my for my son. I didn't want to create, you know, parents. We're the first teachers to our children. I didn't want to create a space where he thought that compromise was right in putting God's name on it. I didn't. I didn't want him to think that. I didn't want him to think or believe for one moment that when we compromise or when we settle and we say, oh, it's God, that it's okay. And I ran through the scenarios through my mind. He's not going to understand, he's a kid, and that's true. But some things he does understand, some things he's very aware of in his in his from his perspective. And I trust God enough that the Holy Spirit will teach him or show him what he needs to know about what the areas his mother is going through, the areas we are going through together, and the areas I'm going through, with you know, in my life, spiritually, physically, mentally, that he can glean from, that he can learn from. I believe the Holy Spirit has, I've seen him do it, interpret for this young man things up like, wow, he got it. Okay, praise God. God, you're answering my prayers. Thank you, Lord. Because I didn't know how to sell him that. So these through the healing process, it was so many things, and that can be overwhelming for us. That can be almost downright. You might feel a little bipolar, you might feel a little, you go depression, guilt, anger, frustration. Um, oh, I felt all the things mad, uh, even the fact that I was, and I haven't really spoken on this, also grieving the loss of my sister uh last year. And that's still just something I'm grieving, something that I'm processing through. I am, I'm not gonna lie. That, that, yeah. And some people may be like, oh, you know, Darren of Darren, she in a better place. I know that I'm very clear that I at my sister's home going. The Holy Spirit showed me that. The Holy Spirit revealed it to me. Oh, she's free. So I'm very clear on that. However, I I do have emotions, I do have things I still have to process in my emotional area of my life, of my being, that I haven't quite gotten there yet. So those that's an area where God is dealing with me yet currently, with the joy, with the joy, though. I still got the joy. I am still good. I'm in a new place. And you're like, oh, you can oh wow, all that hasn't gone away. That takes me into the scripture base for this um this episode. It's 2 Corinthians, the scripture base that we're um that I'm using for this episode is 2 Corinthians 5.17. A lot of us have heard it. If you haven't, this is a new one. Um, I got my my royal Bible in my hand, and this is in the New Testament, and I have a Bible that the commentary is by Joyce Meyer. She's a pastor, she's a great pastor. I like Miss Meyer. Mrs. Meyer. Um, I like how she breaks down the word. I just do. She's one of this one speaker that I like with outside of my own pastor. Um, that I like how they break down the word. And she she real. She real. Yep. You know, it's funny how um this is a side note, it has nothing to do with anything, but I just gotta say it because it's just this is the this is the character who who I am. Like this is really key. When a white woman can like tell her stuff and like tell her stuff. I remember listening to her one day and she was saying now she was in the beginning of her ministry, she used to minister and she used to smoke cigarettes, and she said that she used to go to her car and be in the backseat on the floor smoking her cigarette because she didn't want to church, we were to see her that she was still struggling with smoking cigarettes. And I I don't remember what the sermon was about that I was listening to, but I remember that point, and it resonated with me because as believers, especially when we're in the beginning of our walk with God, and we're wanting to be so perfect, we're we don't want to we want to present ourselves as if we have no flaws, no nothing, because somewhere church, religion has said that we have to put on this facade. And then, you know, people judge, they're quick to judge, forgetting that they got their own plank and their own. However, I digress. Um, I was I can identify, I laughed at it because first, you know, as a black woman that I am, most white women, you don't see them being that transparent, especially on platforms where they're believers in Christ. You know, um, I I think it's a rarity to me. It it was back then, this was years ago when she said this. Years ago, like years ago. And it's coming, it's becoming more familiar now, where we are more transparent, we are talking about our stuff, we are talking about our struggles and how we still have faith in our struggles. And that takes us into the scripture, and this is my perspective, y'all. I am not an ordained pastor, I am just a child of God who was raised in the church, raised by evangelists who were ordained. Um, uh I am an evangelist. I was, yeah, I was hesitant to say that. Um that is my gift, that's my ministry, and I know that I'm called to the marketplace. Um, so by any means, I'm gonna quote the word, and this is just my perspective, what God has shown me. You can go to the word, and God will show you something for where you are in the space and time of where you are in your life. I know that I'm not to speak to any every everyone. So, the y'all who listen, you all that listen, I'm grateful for you because obviously I have something to say to you, and you're listening, you're chiming in, and I appreciate it. Thank you for continuing sharing and following all the things. So, 2 Corinthians 5 17. Therefore, anyone, therefore, if anyone is in Christ, and again, I'm reading um this commentary is by Joyce Meyer in her Bible, her new, I think this is NIV version, it might be King James version. I'm not really sure, I'm sorry. Anyway, 2 Corinthians 5.17. Therefore, if anyone is in Christ that is grafted in, joined to him by faith in him as Savior, he is a new creature, reborn and renewed by the Holy Spirit. The old things, the previous moral and spiritual condition, have passed away. Behold, new things have come because spiritual awakening brings a new life. And what I was mentioning earlier, when I was mentioning before, with the places I was in, and coming out of it now that I feel joy, right? And I just said in all transparency that my sister's grief, I mean, my sister's death and the grief that I'm processing is a different process. I've lost people that were close to me, very close to me. Um grieve when a person is really, really intimately close to me. I've noticed that it's more challenging for me to just get over or talk about all the good things. I lost a cousin during a pandemic, and he was my first cousin. Um I still get sad if I see people that remind me of him, and I think that's part of grief, right? My sister, however, it's certain things that I can't touch right now. Like I talked to her her oldest every now and again on social media or text them. Um, but certain things I can't go to those spaces because God is still working with me in that area. Even though I know the things are true, that my sister's free, and I know that the relationship we had was true, and it was what God ordained, not just by her being my blood sister, but her being God joining us the way He did, uh that though I'm in a new space, I have a God is giving me a new perspective in it. Instead of grief, of guilt of not being there when she um was going through a place where she needed a lot of more hands on deck, guilt of not thinking I didn't give enough, guilt of leaving when she was fatally shot and left her in a um quadriplegic state. That guilt was paralyzing my thought process for the last two years. Um for the last that was almost four years, yeah. That was for four years ago, four years, and I'm just now getting to a place after she passed last year that um now though I knew those things, like back in the beginning of this episode, I was saying, like with the taste, I could taste and see. I knew I had a God had given me a revelation. But even in that revelation, he still, his spirit still had to work with me, and I had to be in agreement with God working with me in my emotional state by me giving that to him and saying, Okay, God, help me to believe what you revealed to me. Help me to release the guilt, release the self-inflicted pain that I'm giving myself, help me to take the thoughts and the negative narrative that my mind is trying to say, or the words negatively given by family or free, you know, family that has harmed me, that has hurt me. And help me, God, to believe what is true, that what I did give and what I did do, even out of the obedience when you told me, God, to get back to Atlanta, at a time where my family, I believe, needed me, and God had to remind me. I told you to leave. I told you that wasn't your that wasn't your portion. I told you that it was people there to tend to that. And he had to remind me as I prayed, as I cried out, as I sat in silence sometime, as I that my obedience to him was more important than my sacrificing to stay at a place that he didn't tell me to. So moral of the thing is, moral of the story is we can be new. We are all become, we have all become new. Those are who are in Christ Jesus that believe they are grafted in him as savior. Your mindset is new, you may function new. God may even give you newness that you see manifested here on earth as, and I take it as a symbolic represent, um, a symbolic representation here on earth of what you've been believing for and what you pray for, what you've been obedient to God about. God is saying, This is what your faith and your in great, this is what grace has given you access to see tangibly that also it renews your mind, your mind becomes renewed, and with that renewal. I'm recording, babe with that, your mind becomes renewed, so you begin to think things think and look at things differently because you got a new mind. You could look at uh how you behaved and how you entertained certain certain things in a past season, but when you are reminded that you're new, God will give you a fresher perspective on it as you grow in the word, as you grow in trusting him, as you grow in casting all your cares upon him, casting the worry, the fear, the stress, the guilt, the frustration, all that onto him. He's not going. I used to want God to fix me. I remember earlier in my my walk with Christ when I first got saved. I was in my 20s. I wanted God to, I thought, girl, honey child, I took this scripture for what it was. I'm new, everything new. I don't do none of that. Not knowing that I was suppressing, then when an emotion came up that wasn't that I thought wasn't of God, like if anger came up or oh, pattern came up, and I I was feeling a certain way about the pattern. Um I would pray harder. I would pray harder or I'll rebuke it. I would rebuke it. Yes, that's my that would rebuke it, thinking that it was sin. And it wasn't seeing, it was just that that was an area God was revealing to me that I needed to put his word to with the new mindset. That I still needed to grieve it, I still needed to go through it to see what it is, to unpack it, then to release it. So you can be in your newness and still be unpacking some old baggage, but you're going through it with a new mindset, and that new mindset comes from you spending time in the word, you affirmations, environments that are conducive to change, being obedient to the promptings of the Holy Spirit, what your intuition is saying, go do. So those are the things that God is having me releasing this season. It's the grief of the things that I had to let go, and that it was physically somebody that I love with my whole heart. That I do something for the old me would do something about in a negative way. But I thank God for change. I thank God for Jesus changing my mind. Yeah, about that life. Sometimes I can go, yep, yep, can think about it. I'm like, yeah, no, can't do that one. Cost too much. Because it do cost too much. When we are renewing for real, y'all, like I said, it it actually requires one letting grieving the old. You cannot fully step into the new if you haven't honored what you're leaving behind. What ask this question to yourself. I'm gonna ask this question, you reflect on it. Listen, I mean you you might have tap back in, or if you can write it down, write it down. What needs to be greed before it can be released? What are you avoiding to grieve? Because you may feel like it's gonna be final.

SPEAKER_00 42:27

I never get it back, God. I ain't gonna never, I gotta grieve this relationship. I already loved him. Oh, I liked him so much. He did this, he did that, da da da da da.

SPEAKER_01 42:41

It may not really be this is oh, this this is for me. May not be for you, girl, but it's for me. It may not be that God wants you to grieve the person. He said he may still want you to maintain a relationship, he wants you to grieve the old relationship y'all have between each other and create a new one, and allow him to create a new one through you. You may have to reintroduce yourself to some things to some people, and I had to learn this one too. Because I used to cut people off because I'm like, okay, well, I'll cut things off. I used to cut people off. Let me just say it this like I said it. Because I'm like, oh no, they remind me of my past self, and da da da. God, like I need them, them as my kids. I'm using you to get to them because if they can see that you changed, honey, you are walking testimony. I'm about to use this for my glory. That's what God is saying. But we because we get so caught up on ourselves and how we look going through our stuff. That God is saying, I need your testimony to be a witness because you don't know who else is suffering. See, when we I have come to understand, and I thank God for this, as children of God, yo, y'all, our lives are our testimonies. Like you said, like I said to y'all, I am not on a pulpit. The platforms I sit on are what we would say secular in the Christian community. It's the world. I'm on platforms with some maybe believers, some maybe non-believers, some may believe whatever. I don't know. I am in the world, but I am not of it. I don't have to do what the world does. I may even look, it may look like I'm of or maybe how I dress is something. I don't dress sleeves, I'm not saying that, but I'm just giving y'all follow what I'm saying. Or sometimes we are having to grieve how we dealt with some things, how we performed in some things with people. And God, like I need you to that old of you is not it. That's not what's going to draw them closer to Him. We got to remember when we confess, this is the work of the kingdom to draw them closer to Him. He's going to use us to do it. But us thinking, allowing the enemy to be the negative thoughts to be in our mind, the enemy to be in our mind, because I'm tired, y'all, of that. Yo, because it's so many of us suffering, and we look so good, but we suffer. Sometimes we disguise it with, and this is sometimes you you do have to move with discretion. You have to you you have to move with discernment and wisdom of who should be in the places, all that. I get that. But a certain natures, a certain mask that we have to lay down, and certain patterns that we have to release. We have to grieve that because we participated in it. So that we can pick up the new mindset of Christ, and that we can release that old to walk and live and thrive in the new. And the reason why it could be seasons, he might be like, oh, it says how? Like he really seasons? Did you put an S, is that plural? Yes, it could be. Because God is not on our timeline, He's not on our speed. He can He can expedite something or He can make it move like traditional old school mail. It'll be mailed in five business days. I mean Monday through Friday. The U.S. Postal Service. And I really believe it's according to our participation with him and what he's doing in our lives. And our patience with ourselves. Because God is, I really believe God is not about to put us into something that is bigger than us that he knows we're not ready for. And that even is joy. Because sometimes we can go into something that is new, fresh, and all we pray for, and we think that we know what to do. And we'll squander that too. Right? So patience with the process. And Renault actually requires celebrating a small shift. Baby, if you don't celebrate yourself, celebrate yourself. I'm gonna be honest. So I had a um, I just celebrated something within my business. I was featured in um an article, interviewing an article, uh, interview in a magazine, and I posted it in um I did all the things on social media and my business. I is I am a master cosmetologist. I own a salon, it's key essentials hair salon. So shout out to Key Essentials Hair Salon, located in North Decatur here in Georgia. Um you can follow me on Instagram, it's KeyEsentials Hair, and you can read the article for your interview for yourself. However, I went and did the post, and I said, you know what, y'all, I'm just celebrating myself. And I remember I was talking to a family, a relative of mine, I had visited, and I had seen them in a while. And sometimes not just family, but people don't know. People don't know how much of an impression they make on you, and again, it goes back to what I was saying earlier, our words, and she shared with me something that um her sister said pertaining to me, and even though this was years ago, this is probably another thing that God is working on me within this season as well, while having my joy to to grieve it and to release it. And she was like, and she didn't want to say it to me because she knew that it was it was negative, it was mean. Um and it was that her sister said, Oh, she just out here trying to be a celebrity. And I remember my response. My response was I am a celebrity, it wasn't being cocky, I was being confident. Because this this interview, this latest interview is not my first. It's like one of ten. Uh I've had international interviews. God has used a gift that um that I would do for free for people, and I have several times. I've because I I I'll give it in a minute. I give information, I I will give it because He gave it to me. It is my business, and I I do charge to, and it'll be occasions where I don't. But that's between me and my business partner, which is the Holy Spirit. However, I'm saying that to say, not to talk negatively about my my relatives, but it is to highlight how it did hurt me, how it made such a wound, it inflicted such a wound in my soul, that when I do have things that I can celebrate myself, that is a narrative that comes up. It's a trigger that comes up from time to time, and I have to put the word on it. I have to affirm myself, reaffirm myself, and celebrate me in spite of. And I know that my family, my relatives, they love me. I love them as well. And I probably said some things that they think that, you know, that and that that have hurt them as well. So I'm mindful of that. I'm mindful of the you know of the both sides of the coin, right? I just share with you all that I don't know, this may be for someone who is challenged with celebrating themselves. Because as kingdom children, y'all, if you think about a real kingdom and being a child of God, a daughter of God, a son of God, it's a certain esteem that we carry, it's a certain attitude that we up uphold, we hold our heads upright, we shine, we smile, we know who we are, we are what we have authority, we have access, we have keys to open up doors that other people can't, even if they are relatives. So sorry, y'all. I forgot to put my phone on do not disturb. And anyway, my son was about to start his first his first summer job, so celebrating the small wins, right? So again, I'm not saying this to I didn't mention all that to belittle anyone, however, I want whoever is listening that that if that um resonated with you, allow yourself to still celebrate you. Because when we come out of healing from insecurities or low self-esteem, or where we had to settle, when we when we allow ourselves to settle, God has shown me that when we allow ourselves to settle, that our insecurities, our confidence, um, our identity is attacking, is attacked. And God has to literally, I believe it's like he's working over time. Because we're on assignments, y'all. Our lives are assignments. We're not here to be on this earth forever. We're not living to hundreds and hundreds of years like they did in the old testament. Old Testament, they used to live like no one that was like 800, you know, 500 years old. Like, yo, who's living that long, bro? Like, I really want when I get to heaven, those are some of the people I want to see. Like, like I want to see what a three-year-old, 300-year-old body, I know I'm going left. I just went all the way left, looks like. But I said, like, allow ourselves, allow yourself to celebrate small shifts. Whether it's a shift in how you interact with people, allow yourself to be in rooms where you know the rooms used to talk about you and you still confident to be in there to smile, to be your authentic self, that you don't have to shape shift into whoever you need to be, that you're being you. So we wait for the big trip transformation and miss the miracle of the small ones. Small ones, that interview for most people that was big for me, but it was small for me, too. It was it was just like, yes, sis, let's go. Let's go. Because it came from a place of growth, it came from a place of being versus striving. So the article got the essence of me now, and I love it, I love it for me. So, whatever your small wins, call out two to three small ships that signal something was changing in you. Call them out. You deserve it, okay? So this week, um, the journal prompts. Again, these are on my social media. Uh Instagram, go follow share on Instagram to get it every week. It drops literally journal promptings and affirmations. The affirm me Mondays, new affirmation drops every Monday. It's on my Instagram, it's on my Facebook, and that's Big Guy Girl Podcast. Definitely please follow, share, like, comment, comment, comment, comment, y'all. Like, come through with the comments, come through with the sharing, the following. Okay, love it. So the the this week's journal prompts are what has healed you? Oh, sorry, read that wrong. What has healed in you that you did not even realize was broken? I'm gonna repeat that. What has healed in you that you didn't even realize was broken? What is God calling you to release right now? Again, these journal prompts will be their journal prompts are posted every Wednesday on Instagram, Facebook, um, TikTok. I ain't gonna lie to y'all, I am slowly getting into TikTok. But consistently, Instagram and Facebook, Wednesdays, journal promptings are posted, they live there, so you can always go back and visit it. Uh, Big Eye Girl Podcast, definitely follow there, share, comment, comment, comment. I need the comments, it helps me to build and allows the algorithm to keep pushing my stuff to the to the people that God is calling me to speak to. And you are one of the people, and I thank you again. So look for the journal conference every Wednesday. They are there on social media: Facebook, Instagram, and sometimes TikTok. I'm not gonna lie about that. Mondays are the affirm me. You'll get all the affirmations. Then you have some other content. You'll see me in real time. I won't say real time, but you'll see me up there. I, you know, I post little things, I come on, I talk, and um, we're launching something next month. Uh, the video portion of the podcast is being launched, so slow but show and steady and strong. And I I'm I'm appreciative of all that. I want you with the journal prompts. Sit with both of those. You are not who you were. You are not, you're a new creature. You've been working, you've been healing. You've been being God has made you whole. The thing about it, I know we're in a you know, in life where it'd be like, oh, you know, I'm healing, I'm healing, I'm healing. And I remember I asked the question, I said, when you gonna stop healing and when you're gonna become whole. And I didn't ask that out loud to nobody, so don't even think I did. I didn't, but I did say it to myself out loud while observing something. And I asked the Holy Spirit, I said, You make us whole. God, you make us whole. You heal, but you make whole. See, that's the difference from a lot of other um ways of thinking, ways of moving. You may heal in one area, and God makes whole in that one, and I believe God is a God of rest. So you may go through a season of some real tumultuous healing in the area, then your renewal happens, and that's for a season. You're renewed, and you're walking in that newness, you're walking with a cup that's full, that's overflow, overflowing, and you accessing joy, so you know what it feels like, and then you're sustaining, you're building. And I believe that God will take you into another area that as you're ready, you go into healing. That's not the same area that you were just working on, though. That's a different area. Again, it goes back to the promptings. What area is God calling you to release? So that means if I'm caught being called to release, I have to grieve it. That's gonna be a process of healing. Healing is not all is not all the time. Think about the hospital. You go in, go to the dentist, we use teeth. Because I want to draw, I want to kind of draw this home because we're in a culture where the healing um hashtag I'm healing, I'm healing, I'm healing. And we kind of have I have seen in environments that I am in that people now find that becomes a crutch or an excuse to be mean or to be to do whatever you want to do and say whatever you want to do and end it with well, because I'm healing, I just gotta let it go like this. No, you're just mean, and you really ain't healing, or you're afraid to release what God is showing you in this healing process because you're afraid of what's on the other side, you're afraid that goodness is not on the other side. Maybe that's enough that yep. I can go on and on about that one, so I'm gonna leave that right there. I love y'all so much. Celebrate them small wins, sis. I love y'all. I really do. I see you. I will meet you back here next Tuesday. I'm key, and until then, remember to awaken the wide-eyed woman within. Peace. I just want to say thank you for being here and choosing to spend this time with me. It really means more than you know. 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