🎧 Sitting in My Discomfort

I've spent a lot of my life trying to escape discomfort.

Whether it was through relationships, distractions, busyness, or avoidance, I was always looking for a way out. But healing required something different. It required me to sit still long enough to feel what I had spent years trying to outrun.

I realized the uncomfortable realities of growth—the loneliness, uncertainty, grief, and self-reflection that often come before breakthrough. Sometimes the lesson isn't in fixing the feeling. Sometimes it's in allowing yourself to experience it.

Because what we avoid often has something to teach us.

Check us out on YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/@HealingHerSoulPodcast

Transcript

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You know, I'm going through a very difficult season of my life right now, and I honestly don't know up from down. I don't know what's going on. I don't know why the things that are happening are happening. I don't have any answers. I just feel a tremendous amount of sadness. What I'm used to doing before was trying to run from that pain and just trying to do everything I can to distract myself and you know try to be that strong girl and and just keep moving and keep pushing and don't worry about it. It's gonna be okay. But for whatever reason, this time I'm just not feeling it, y'all. I'm just not. I'm just like, I don't want to push through it, I don't want to pretend like I'm strong, I don't want to pretend like I'm okay, I don't want to pretend like I know exactly what's going on, or I know that tomorrow is gonna be brighter. I don't know tomorrow's gonna be brighter because my tomorrows have not been brighter thus far. I have been trying my best to be completely honest with my group of friends, and I'll say that some of them are doing a good job as far as like you know helping me out with you know encouraging words, and they're trying to be as positive as possible. But I'll be honest with you, the force positivity is just really getting on my nerves, and what I mean is when I'm expressing or concerning some really difficult things that I'm doing, and I'm getting the response of girl, you gotta get out of this funk, or girl, you gotta stay positive and you gotta think positive thoughts and all this other stuff, and I'm just like, girl, I love you, and I appreciate you, and I know you don't mean any harm, but shut the hell up because that's not helping me. And what I need for people to start understanding is that trying to force somebody out of their situation to like feel better, it is not necessarily always the right thing to do. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with you know trying to get your friend to understand that they should stay positive, but it's just kind of like it's not really all that supportive, especially because it causes that person to feel dismissed. Or at least speaking for myself, that's what I feel. I feel like my feelings are disregarded and dismissed. I just need someone that's gonna listen to me, validate my feelings, hear me out, and say, girl, I'm sorry you're going through that. I'm here for you. Whatever you need. I know that there are a lot of times where people don't know what to do or what to say. When you are trying to help a friend, your heart means well, right? But you don't you just don't know what to say because you understand that they're going through a lot of pain and you really want to find the right words to say, but you just can't, especially if you can't relate to the situation. I would suggest asking this one question that I truly believe is effective, and that is what can I do to support you today? What can I do to support you at this time? Whatever it is that you need, I got you. Just let me know. And they may not know exactly what they need in that moment, they may not know you know specifically how to tell you how to support them in that that time frame, but it still helps them to feel you know appreciated for their situation. It makes them feel like you're not trying to quickly dismiss them. I think a lot of times we spend way too much time, especially as women, as as wives, as mothers, and all we put so much effort into pushing past the discomfort so that we can get to the next level or get to the next page, or just simply ignore what it is that we're feeling. And I don't think that that's the right way to go. I feel like sometimes we really just need to sit with it. We need to sit with the discomfort and the sadness. Like, I'm okay with just telling my girls, like, I'm not okay right now. I'm messed up, like my situation right now is not all that great. I'm really tired, I'm really exhausted, I'm crying, I'm sad. I know intellectually that it's gonna be fine. I've been through worse, I know that it's gonna be fine. I know that tomorrow's gonna be a better day, but that's not the point. That is not the point. The point is I am where I am right now, and I am frustrated and I am mad and I'm angry and I'm tired. And I just want you to let me be, girl. Let me sit in this discomfort, let me sit here and let me grieve and mourn the life that I thought I was gonna live, the life that I thought I was gonna have. Because it's not working out the way that I thought it was gonna work out. My plans are not going the way that I planned them, and I'm I'm mourning right now, I'm frustrated, I'm in the middle of like one of the biggest battles of my life, and I'm just tired, and I just really, really need the love and support, not the forced positivity. And I appreciate the friends that allowed me to pick up the phone and call them. I appreciate the friend that came over and spent the day with me and let me vent and just spent quality time with me. I appreciate that. That means so freaking much, and I'm so appreciative for them. I'm very appreciative for my community and my village and the support that I'm able to get from them. And so I just wanted to encourage you today, girl. If you're going through something, you're going through a battle, you're struggling, don't try to push past it, don't try to force positivity. If you're not okay, just say you're not okay. You don't have to tell everybody your business, you don't have to tell everybody what's going on with you, you don't have to go deep into the details of your situation. But you can just be honest and say, I'm not okay. I know it's gonna be okay. Don't tell me that. I know it's gonna be okay, but right now I'm not. And if you are the person that is trying to support somebody that's going through something like that, then you take a moment to ask them what can I do to support you in this time. In the meantime, girls, y'all sit with your discomfort no matter how tough it feels. I got you.