Stop Thinking Your Way Into Change-How Women Really Change

Stop Thinking Your Way Into Change — How Women Really Change

In this episode, we’re breaking one of the biggest myths women carry about transformation: the idea that you have to think your way into a new life. More strategy. More planning. More logic. More “figuring it out.”

But real change doesn’t start in the conscious mind. It starts in the subconscious — the deeper part of you that quietly shapes your identity, your habits, your expectations, and the emotional patterns you live from every day.

Inspired by the teachings in The Power of Your Subconscious Mind by Joseph Murphy, this episode explores why women must become emotionally involved with their end result before they know the steps… and why discomfort is actually the doorway to becoming the woman they envision.

You’ll learn:

• Why your conscious mind keeps you stuck in overthinking
• How your subconscious responds to emotion, not logic
• Why “the stretch” of discomfort is a sacred part of growth
• How to feel your future self before you live it
• What actually triggers identity‑level transformation in women

This is a gentle, powerful reminder that you don’t need to have the plan — you just need to embody the vision. Your next level isn’t waiting for you to think harder. It’s waiting for you to feel deeper.

Press play and step into the quiet work of becoming her.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:01

Hey girl, welcome back to the More Than Enough podcast. I'm your host, Alexandra, and here we help you to transform your life. We empower, enable, and encourage you to live your best life by giving you the tools that you need to change your life from the inner to result in the outer. And so this week has been a week for me, to be honest. And so I thought it best to come on here and share my experience and give you some encouragement as well as because of what I'm experiencing can help you as well. So this week's episode is called Stop Thinking Your Way into Change, How Women Really Change. So the notion of this is being comfortable, being uncomfortable, which might sound like an oxymoron, but it's not. And so for myself, um, I've been going through a lot of personal change that is very uncomfortable for me. Um, I'm having a big life transition that's going on, and it has been such like an experience, such a scary experience. Um, I call it the Terrier Barrier, which basically means when I go to act on this change that's going on in my life, I feel this immense fear just rise up on me. And I've learned and I've trained myself over the years to fight through that fear. And I also wanted to share the techniques and why this happens because I feel like a lot of women don't know why and they don't know how to get past it. So think about it kind of like this: your mind consists of two different parts. So one is called your conscious mind or your reasoning mind. So that's how you logic, how you reason things in the day-to-day. The other portion of your mind is called your subconscious mind, which you may or may not be familiar with. People call it your emotional mind. So that's what houses all of your emotions, all of your daily habits. So this is why sometimes you could be driving and you quote unquote zone out, and then you arrive at your destination and you're like, How did I get here? Um, that's because your subconscious mind, which houses your emotions as well as your daily habits, took over to where you didn't have to consciously think about how to do it, right? Also, your subconscious mind is responsible for keeping your heart beating and your lungs working at night when you're asleep. So it's very good to have. It helps our body, it helps us with our daily routines, it's essential to our life. Um, so with that being said, your again, your emotions are housed in that subconscious mind. So that's why a lot of times it's kind of like a catch-22. So that part holds your emotions and it holds your habits. So that's why you feel so emotionally in charge with your daily habits. That's why it's hard to change them because they're kind of together housed in your subconscious mind. So when you go to change your habits or do something new, like I had to do my personal life recently, um, I felt the amen, the excuse me, the emotion of like fear just rise up in my body physically. And um, you know, it's like, oh my goodness, how do I get through this? Um, and this is why when you go to make a change in your life, and that change is different from your daily habits or how you see yourself, you feel so much fear. Um, so a lot of times what we tend to do when we feel that emotion rise up, we switch over to our conscious mind and we reason as to why we shouldn't move forward, why we shouldn't make the changes we need to, why we shouldn't do whatever thing that will help us with this, excuse me, that'll help us get to our personal or professional goals. So, no, there's nothing wrong with you. It's completely normal. We all do it. Um, you have to learn, though, the skill of overcoming that so that you can make that change. That's how women really do change. They don't do it consciously, they do it subconsciously. Um, and so I kind of want you to think of whenever that fear rises in your quote unquote subconscious mind. Sometimes the fear seems and it feels so real, right? Um, it seems real, it feels real, but I want you to think of that quote-unquote terrier barrier. Um, shout out to Bob Proctor who taught me about that. Um, think of that barrier kind of like a fun house. If you've ever been to one when you were a child, they usually are that present in like local carnivals and things like that. And basically it's a house that has mirrors throughout the whole house and it reflects back an image of yourself, which or you know, a mirror, excuse me, image of somebody near you, but they're not near you. So think of the terrier berry as the mirrors in a fun house, it's reflecting something back, but it's not really there, it's a reflection, and so you just have to push through to get out of that fun house the same way you did when you were a child. Um, so how do you get quote unquote comfortable, being uncomfortable, making the changes that you need to make in your life and the decisions that will change your life for the better when you really immensely deeply desire to change your life, but you feel bad because every time you go to change your life, something comes up, and then you go back to being or living the life that you originally were living, and then you feel discouraged and things like that. How do you get out of that cycle? You have to consistently attack that terrier barrier by envisioning yourself at the end result you're desiring. So, specifically, let's say I'll use myself for an example. When I first went to make a career change, um I didn't know any of this beforehand, but I would just feel so immensely myself being in that new career. I would watch TV of people in the career of real estate for transparency. I would watch HD TV, I would see people going to view houses, flip houses, and things like that. And I would always just pretend like I was the agent in the show. Um, I know it sounds silly, but it worked for me. Um, I would pretend I was the agent in the show. I would go around with the people, show them the houses, and tell them, hey, this is the house for you, this is not the house for you. And I know it sounds so juvenile and it sounds so childish in a way, but I'm telling you, this is how it happened because whenever I went to try to become a real estate agent consciously, so I would study for the test, I would go and take the exam that's needed, I would not get any results. Like I would fail every single time. I think I've ended up failing three tests before I actually got my license. Um, because I was using my conscious mind. But when I started to really use my subconscious mind and feel myself already being an agent, that's when I passed the test and that's when I got my license. Um, and again, I didn't know any of this beforehand. I just at the time, I just so deeply desired it, and I felt like it was real to me that it that's how it happened. Um, and so I just wanted to encourage you that you have to see and feel as though whatever it is in your life that you're currently wanting to change, desire to become, you have to see it is already done, and you have to have the faith that it's already done. No ifs, ands, or buts about it. Don't waver, don't doubt it, know that it's true. Don't allow your reasoning mind to interfere with reasons why it can't happen. You have to fight it back consistently because it's there's gonna be thoughts that come up in your mind consistently that says why it won't work, how it can't happen. You have to fight that back every single time it comes back with whatever prompt you want to use to say, nope, I'm already there, I already have it, you know, whatever specific prompt you want to use. So I want to kind of wrap this up with a we'll do an exercise, but I want to give you one last piece of encouragement. So there's a woman, excuse me, there's a moment in every woman's life where she feels the stretch, the uncomfortable pull between who she's been and who she's becoming. And I want you to hear this clearly that stretch is sacred, it's a sign that your life is expanding. Most women try to change your life from their conscious mind, the part of you that analyzes, plans, worries, and tries to figure out the how before you even take the first step. If you're like me, that's how I was conditioned to. You need to know how to do something before you take the step, which is completely not how you do things. Um, so furthermore, the conscious mind is slow, it's protective, it wants certainty before it allows movement. Real transformation doesn't come from the conscious mind, it comes from the subconscious, the deeper part of you that quietly runs your habits, your self-image, your expectation, and your emotional patterns. So, a particular book I would recommend that I'm also currently reading is called The Power of Your Subconscious Mind. The author is Joseph Murray, and in that book, Joseph Murray teaches that your subconscious mind doesn't respond to logic or strategy, it responds to emotionally charged images, the pictures you hold of yourself, the feelings you attach to your desires, the internal movie you play over and over again. This means your life changes when you become emotionally involved with your end result before you know how to get there. When you feel the version of you who already made the leap, when you let your body experience the outcome as if it's already yours, when you allow your subconscious to accept the vision as true. And here's the part most of us don't really realize that emotional involvement is uncomfortable. It requires faith, it requires imagination, it requires letting go of the need to control the path. I'm gonna say that again. It requires faith, it requires imagination, and it requires letting go of the need to control uppercase, control the path. Um, so in the book, Murphy furthermore teaches that the subconscious will create whatever image you consistently impress upon it. But the moment you start imagining a bigger life, your conscious mind will panic. It will look for reasons to delay, it will try to keep you safe, it'll tell you you're not ready. That's why discomfort shows up. Not because you're doing something wrong, but because you're doing something new. So today I want to invite you into a different relationship with discomfort instead of resisting it, instead of labeling it as fear, instead of assuming it means stop, let your subconscious, let it mean your subconscious is waking up, let it mean your identity is shifting, let it mean your future self is pulling you forward. You don't need the steps yet, you don't need the plan, you don't need to feel ready, you just need to feel the end result deeply, emotionally, vividly, and let that feeling guide your next move. And so, with that, um, I was fortunate enough to be on a call with a woman that specializes in life coaching, and she had a beautiful exercise that I wanted to share with you all because I think this really could be beneficial. So, wherever you are, hopefully you're not driving or doing anything, if you are driving or actively at work while you're listening to this, um, come back to this portion once you're back home. So, what you want to do is sit comfortably in a nice chair, let your body totally relax, and I'll slow down a little bit for this because I'll guide you through it. Let your body totally relax, let your mind calm down from all the thoughts of the day, let it get quiet, be patient. And once you're there, I want you to see yourself in your dream living room sitting in a comfortable couch that's designed the way you want it design with the prints, the textures, the colors. I want you to see around you the life that you're wanting if you want family, see your family around you, and see yourself looking at a TV mounted on the wall, and you see yourself reflected back from the TV, from the reflection. What do you see in that reflection? How do you see yourself as a woman? How do you see your family around you? How does it feel to know that you now are that woman that took the leap of faith, that made the changes, and now you're here as a result, and you're calm, you're happy, you're living a fulfilled life. That's you that's being reflected back from the TV. That's nobody else but you. How does it feel? Are you proud of yourself for making the changes that you needed to make to be that woman that you are now? Do you feel the happiness from being that woman, from having the family around you, the support system, from feeling calm and relaxed, and that it was all worth it, all the sacrifices. Now, lastly, I want you to thank that woman and the reflection for making the hard decisions that led her to this moment, to where now she is reaping the benefits of those sacrifices. And genuinely thank her. Thank God if you do believe in God, thank God for allowing you to become that woman. And really feel it to be true because it is true. Say one final thank you to her and let her know you're coming. And then gently, whenever you're ready, open your eyes and thank yourself for seeing that woman to remind you that you're more than able, more than capable of doing and being and having all that she has in that visual state. So that's the exercise. If you ever want to come back to it, feel free to listen back to this podcast at this section to keep practicing it. Again, you have to be emotionally involved, so I suggest doing this at least daily if you can, either before you go to bed or when you first wake up in the morning to have the effect it needs to have on you. But I hope this episode blessed you in a very special way. I hope that it's beneficial to you in your life. Um, I'm really proud of you, and I can't wait to meet you in person one day. And I look forward to serving you in the next podcast. Have a great week.