In SICKNESS and in health part 1

“In sickness and in health”… it sounds beautiful in vows—but what does it really look like when life actually tests it?  In this episode of Marriage Material, KD and Coach DTM take you behind the scenes of their relationship and open up about the first times sickness hit their household—and how it changed everything. From physical struggles to emotional pressure, they break down what it really takes to show up for your partner when they’re not at 100%.  This isn’t just about being there when it’s easy… It’s about patience when you’re frustrated, strength when you’re tired, and love when it’s inconvenient.  They discuss:         •        What sickness revealed about their communication         •        The moments that tested their patience and commitment         •        How support can either strengthen a bond—or slowly break it         •        The difference between saying “I got you” and actually showing it  Because truth be told… Anybody can love you when you’re strong—but Marriage Material is revealed when you’re weak.  If you’ve ever had to care for your partner… or wished they showed up better for you… this episode is for you.  ⸻  🎤 Closing Line Tie-In  You said “in sickness and in health”… not “when it’s easy and when it’s fun.” So when life tests it—don’t fold. That’s Marriage Material.

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:12

I'm just a D girl from around the way with a whole lot of shit to say. It's your girl, KD.

SPEAKER_00 0:16

What up, though? You know it is your boy Coach DTM, aka Pure Motivation. I am Mr. Energy. Everybody love me. I don't have no enemy. Our podcast is here now, so you gotta respect it. You never get off on us because we're never the exit. If you know me, then you know that I'm more than a savage who loves living life and is allergic to average. So in conclusion, so it's no confusion. If you see somebody ruler than us, it's an illusion.

SPEAKER_01 0:36

Talk about it.

SPEAKER_00 0:36

What up, though?

SPEAKER_01 0:38

What uh what up do?

Why Share Hard Relationship Lessons

The Real Meaning Of The Vows

SPEAKER_00 0:40

Guess what? What I'm the husband and I'm the wife, and this is marriage material. Talk about it. Let's go. So, as promised, man, we're gonna give you what you need, you know. We want you to grow from every situation that we've been through so that you don't necessarily have to go through it. So the situation that we would discuss today, it might even be a two-part because we had a few of these that happen, but we're gonna discuss the situation and then we're gonna discuss uh how it changed you know the relationship dynamics and things of that nature, right? So this situation that stuck out to me for this week is this there's a part in the vowel that says in sickness and in health, the easy part is the in health, the the trying part is the in sickness. All right, so we had a few situations. We're gonna talk about one that stood out to me the one and only KD. If you've been listening to any of our episodes on here or any of the episodes on relationship reality podcast, then you should know that KD is kind of accident prone, uh huh. Right? This is the part why we hit the bell. Ding! She don't want to give me the bell, so I'm gonna just make one. But uh yeah, yeah, you hit it.

The Bar Accident And Hospital Trip

SPEAKER_01 2:12

You don't say ding, you can just add a bell, but yeah, so there's a situation where we were working at the bar.

SPEAKER_00 2:20

Do you remember this situation? She was playing with her cousin. Some for whatever reason, she decided to do this right by the stairs of the basement. And lo and behold, seconds later, he grabbed her leg, kind of lifted it up a little bit, and she decided to do a cartwheel backwards flip, uh okay. Give me your version.

SPEAKER_01 2:42

You you mixing up two different okay, give me your version. So that situation, we I was playing with my cousin, he untied my shoe. He like stepped on my shoe and then it came untied. So actually, back up. I was actually at sitting at the front door with my legs up reading a book, and he untied my shoe. Okay, then he went in the bar to play his little game that he used to play.

SPEAKER_00 3:07

Right, right. So I went to the bar and I punched him, which he liked 427 pounds, you know.

SPEAKER_01 3:17

So he didn't even flinch, but I said, You better tie my shoe back, or I'm selling on you. So he grabbed my leg and put it up on the bar to tie my shoe.

SPEAKER_00 3:29

Right. And in in doing this, what part of this situation had you going down the stairs?

SPEAKER_01 3:35

I didn't go down the stairs that time. That's what I'm saying. That's two different things.

SPEAKER_00 3:37

When did you fall down the stairs?

SPEAKER_01 3:38

So I fell down the stairs. I fell down the stairs when I was trying to sneak and clock somebody in because they had like the the time clock where you put the you know, yeah, and it and it time stamped it on like a cardboard thing, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 3:57

Like the plinth stone. I know.

SPEAKER_01 3:58

Yeah, so I was sneaking to punch somebody in, and he caught me, and I was trying to get away from him, and I fell down the stairs. Okay, so and Kareem had to call 911.

SPEAKER_00 4:10

All right, so in doing this, uh, shout out to Ream for calling 911. We appreciate that. In doing this, uh, we discovered something that we didn't really necessarily want to discover. So we went to the hospital in this situation. I don't remember which one it was then, because I just remember going to the hospital. It was just the bar leg when we went to the hospital and found out the one we'll get to it. So we go to the hospital, and it's a very well-known hospital here in uh Michigan. I'm not gonna give no plug because they don't deserve it. But they uh looked at her and they said, Oh, it's just grow a poor groin muscle.

SPEAKER_01 4:49

And they gave me flexor all.

SPEAKER_00 4:50

I remember that part.

SPEAKER_01 4:51

Yeah, they gave muscle.

SPEAKER_00 4:52

So they gave you some muscle relaxers and sent you home. So we on we had the crib and we had two kids at the time, or just one, it was two, yeah. But we had kids at the time anyway, but we oh no, it was two. It was two yeah, it was two. So we we go home, she on her muscle relaxers, and all it's really doing is putting her to sleep. So I'm looking and I'm noticing that the leg is swelling up at this point, almost double the size of the you know what it what it started as, and she could not lift it at all. So I'm like, babe, something ain't right. They talking about it's just a poor grooming muscle, but you know, I'm young at the time. So I'm like, you ain't even got a groin. You know what I'm saying? You ain't got a groin. What are they talking about? They don't know what they're talking about. So we go to the same brand hospital, just well, actually, before we went to the hospital, remember I had I had I had to use the restroom, and my urine looked like like Pepsi.

SPEAKER_01 5:56

It was it was so dark. I was like, something is happening. So at this point, my leg is swelling. I can't I can't put any pressure on, I can't even lift it. It's just like having a dead leg, and then my urine looked like Pepsi. Then we went to the hospital.

Misdiagnosis And Alarming Symptoms

SPEAKER_00 6:10

So we go to the hospital, and I gotta carry her to the truck because she can't even walk that way, right? So I put it on a flatbed. No, I'm playing. So I carry her to the truck. I carry her to the truck. Oh, y'all just tickle peek up. Okay, all right. And we go to the same brand hospital, but just a different location. One that I feel is a little more, it's a little better. We just say that. All right. And so they look at her, and almost instantly they say, Whew, I'm glad you brought her in. Because she got blood clocks, and it's about to travel to her heart and killer, right? And I'm like, What? We would just again, we was just here. This is the second time we had this type of issue. We didn't even get to the first one, but we had the same issue, same hospital family with our son as well. But they like, yeah, it was about to travel to her heart and killer. It was on our way. They did this within like minutes of looking at her. They were able to tell what it was. So we go through that situation. What were you thinking when you were going through that situation?

SPEAKER_01 7:23

Well, for one, it was scary because I didn't even know the blood cloud was.

SPEAKER_00 7:26

Right, right. I just I just thought Jamaican really quick.

SPEAKER_01 7:30

We were super, super young. We had like small kids. They talk about admitting me to the hospital. I've never been admitted to the hospital before, so it was just like, what is happening? Now, mind you, I've never had like broken bone surgery. So I mean, I have asthma, so I've been to the hospital for like asthma treatment before.

SPEAKER_00 7:48

We're gonna hit that for a call cap because you can have some broken bones use the baseball player, but go ahead, continue.

SPEAKER_01 7:53

I I mean, I broke my finger before, yeah, but nothing that caused like hospitalizations, right? So when they said I had to stay, I'm like, Well, I gotta get back to my kids. Um, what did you talking about?

SPEAKER_00 8:04

Okay, so this was a super trying time because I'm like, this is one of the first situations where me as the man in the household it's like taking lead and saying, Okay, we need to do X, Y, and Z. We need to figure this out, we gotta make sure she's good. Now I gotta be on these doctors because what the other doctors were neglecting to put in the effort to figure out what's really going on. So it was really trying for me because this was the first time that we had to deal with the actual in sickness part of the of life.

SPEAKER_01 8:42

Well, this was before we were married, too. Well, we weren't married yet, but it was the insick.

SPEAKER_00 8:47

I feel like you married even before you married when you you like you don't become a wife when you say I do, right? You know what I'm saying? So we was actually in process, in progress of being married, you know. We was always one, we knew that from jump back in the 1900s when we got together, you know, but to see the person you love down like that, and nothing you can do about it, but just kind of be there, it was like real, real super trying, right? And then we always always revert back to like decisions that I made within our relationship, even with like infidelity. In this moment, I think the best part about it was I was able to see I I really do need this person in my life, like she's dope. I really do need her in my life, and we're gonna make this continuous, like it's not about to stop here, you know what I'm saying? So, did it change anything for you in the relationship?

Blood Clots Discovered Just In Time

SPEAKER_01 9:54

I mean, yeah, I think I it helped me look at you as like like a protector because like the whole time you was there, you was helping me back and forth to that to the you know restroom, you was helping me shower, so it was like you showed me that you were a safe space, even when times when I thought you weren't.

SPEAKER_00 10:11

Okay, and that now you know it's crazy. I I was hoping you said that, you know. But yeah, so that was definitely a trying time, and that that probably went on for a minute. Now we gotta go back and forth.

SPEAKER_01 10:26

Well, I was in the hospital for like three weeks.

SPEAKER_00 10:31

Remember?

SPEAKER_01 10:32

Yeah, because they didn't want me to leave until because it because actually what happened was one day once they did the scan, they realized I had like seven blood clots in my leg.

SPEAKER_00 10:41

Right.

SPEAKER_01 10:41

So they didn't want me to leave because of course they didn't want them to travel, so they had me like on bed rest, doing like IV medications. So yeah, I was there for like 22 days, yeah. Which is a long time, especially to be away from the kids because they couldn't come see me because they were both well, the oldest was old enough, but the baby wasn't old enough, right?

SPEAKER_00 11:06

And then so out of them 22 days, how many days was I there with you?

SPEAKER_01 11:10

Every day.

SPEAKER_00 11:11

Okay, I knew that. I just wanted to put the context out there for the people.

SPEAKER_01 11:16

You couldn't spend a night though, remember? Because I had a roommate, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 11:19

And that was back, that was really, really early in life where I allowed people to tell me what I could and couldn't do. That didn't last very long, though. You know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_01 11:28

Like, oh, you know what's crazy too? I remember my mom was going through some stuff, and I was supposed to drive her to Chicago that next day. So the day when I actually went to the hospital, remember I was supposed to drive her to Chicago. Yeah, because she was going to Chicago to stay with my brother for like however long, however long she needed. And that doctor was like, Yeah, you wouldn't have made it, you would have died in the car. I was like, What? They like, yeah, you wouldn't have you probably wouldn't have made it out of Michigan.

SPEAKER_00 11:54

Now, this is the one thing I do want people to take from this episode. Please, please, please, if you have this thing that KD has on hers, but we have to get it removed. We had to get it removed. We don't even go to that that location anymore. But if you have what they call a DNR on your license or on your profile, let's get that off. Let's get that removed. All right, just let the people who who you know your loved ones know what you want, your wishes, and that and all of that. And the reason being is because what we got on this 115. The reason being is because there was a situation where Katie caught she coded, she was out of here. And if we were at that one location, then I'd be doing marriage material by myself. Well, that's weird, and I would just be sitting in both seats, going back and forth, telling you trying to you do do your voice and everything. So if you got a DNR, which is which means do not resuscitate, let's get that taken off, man. Just let your loved ones know what you want, which how you want it done, what you want done with that, man. Because it's important.

SPEAKER_01 13:02

I mean, I don't know if people should get it removed because it is their choice. But when I put my DNR, I was young, I didn't even really realize what it meant, right?

SPEAKER_00 13:12

Right.

Fear Of Admission And Parenting Stress

SPEAKER_01 13:12

So, I mean, I I feel like as long as you did your research, and as and if you feel like that's right for you, then you should do it, you should have it. But I do feel like you should make an educated decision, don't just be like me and just young. Like, I don't want to do, I don't want to be a vegetable, so let me put this on there. Yeah, and I was so young anyway. The doctors really shouldn't even let me, they should have had a conversation, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 13:35

But I think you know, in most cases, they want you to get that. Damn, I'm saying we we've learned we we've been in the medical field for years. We've learned that you are worth more gone than you are here. What they say, you're worth more unalived than you are alive, right? Because they can get your organs, they can sell it, they can do this, they can whatever the case may be. We can we can do research on your body and learn new stuff. So you you work more, just like you were more sick than you are healthy, right? So it's a money game at the end of the day. So it's important to me, in my opinion. I think you should just let your loved ones know what you want. Okay, you don't want to be a vegetable, cool. Let them know, let them have a conversation with the doctors if things do go sour, and then make that decision then. But DNR means you coding, I can't do nothing for you. She told me don't touch her. You know what I'm saying? It's all it's you just I I believe you should get that removed and you should let your loved ones know what you want happen, want to happen, and you know, go from there. So that's just my opinion. That's what I think y'all should do. You know what I mean? But the blood clot thing, it was definitely one of the scariest things, and then the medication doing research on medication, it's it's it can be the worst sometimes because the medication they was giving you, if you do research on it, they like, yeah, this rat poison. Right. I'm like, wait a minute, what you finna give my wife rat poison? She don't snitch on nobody. Damn, no, I'm I mean, I'm saying okay, you ain't no rat. All right, you know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_01 15:20

That escalated quickly, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 15:22

But then you had to do the blood draws and and all they had to make sure.

SPEAKER_01 15:26

Well, and too, I will say, like, medication has come so long since then. This happened over 20 years ago, right? So now they got the same medication and do the same thing where you don't have to go back and forth to the doctor once or twice a week, three times a week, whatever. However, I was I don't remember, but yeah, I think it was three times a week. I think it was two, and at least two, but I do think it was three.

SPEAKER_00 15:47

And the reason that I say we the reason we even talking about is because it alters your life, yeah. Because there's things that you was not going through at that time, right? But it's a time for you to be able to prove that you are who you said you were when y'all first got together, right? Right. So I value that I was able to prove to you at that point, like, no, I'm here. You got blood cloth, we got blood clock, bumbleclop, you know, bro. You know what I'm saying? So we're gonna get it, we're gonna make it happen, we're gonna fix this. So even when I was nervous or scared or whatever, it was always important for me to not show you that, you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_01 16:31

Yeah, because then I would have been scared, yeah.

How Crisis Changed Their Bond

SPEAKER_00 16:33

Yeah, so you gotta show confidence, and that's gonna be the next story that we actually talk about. So it's gonna be like a part two to this one here, but you gotta show confidence, and I learned this later in life why it's important to show confidence. So make sure y'all tune into the next episode when we talk about the same situation, not the same situation, but the same type of story, but in a different way. That was important, man. That was heavy, you know what I mean? Because you look at the person you love, you're like, Man, it's about to be over with this soon. Yeah, it's crazy.

SPEAKER_01 17:10

And then leave with them kids.

SPEAKER_00 17:12

No, and that that's what that's what you're not gonna do. That's what's not gonna happen. You better, hey, yeah, this is uh they go with you. So you stay here, they stay here. You know what I'm saying? This ain't that type of party.

SPEAKER_01 17:26

Chill out.

SPEAKER_00 17:27

I'm saying, I was young, I wasn't on that.

SPEAKER_01 17:29

Chill out.

SPEAKER_00 17:30

I was still trying, I was still saying I was babysitting my kids at that time. Jay, you ever babysit your kids? You got kids? You ain't got no kids. You do you think you can babysit your own kid?

SPEAKER_01 17:45

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 17:47

So, you know, just so y'all know, you can't babysit your own kids. So don't even don't even say I'm babysitting my kids. I they yours. Um, but yeah, so to be to have that first trying time, you know what I'm saying, with the phrase in sickness and in health. The health part is always easy. Sickness part, that's the part that runs people away. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, what else you want to talk about? You got anything else on that situation? Did that bring did that stir up anything? No, all right, all right.

SPEAKER_01 18:17

It was it was a wild time, definitely, definitely. What a time to be alive.

SPEAKER_00 18:21

What a time to be alive.

SPEAKER_01 18:24

One thing about KD is I play, I play all day, too much, even after that. I still was playing as soon as I was able to get back to the bar. So I used to work there, that's what it was. But he didn't really want to play with me that much after that.

SPEAKER_00 18:38

No, no, he was definitely nervous.

SPEAKER_01 18:40

He said, I already broke you once.

SPEAKER_00 18:43

I already broke you once. He felt bad though.

SPEAKER_01 18:45

He did he he came he came to see me when I was in the hospital. He because at the time I was working for his bar that he owned, so that time I was off work, he paid me for it and a little extra. Like he felt yeah, he definitely felt so bad. Like, but and then too, during that situation, I also found out that I do have what's called a protein C deficiency, which I didn't know before that. So it kind of did save my life because I did have to make some changes because now I'm more prone to get blood clots, so I can't be on birth control and I can't have you know additional what's it called, like hormones and stuff like that. I have to be careful of those things. So I mean, the way he did change, he's saved my life too, because that that deficiency undiagnosed actually does lead to death.

DNR Decisions And Medical Distrust

SPEAKER_00 19:34

So yeah, yeah, and I I mean, you know, it's definitely something to think about, especially as men. Men don't really like those types, we don't really like problems and stuff like that, you know what I'm saying? That we can't that we can't solve. So problems that you gotta put in other people's hands is like the worst. Like, like I can't stand it in no way, shape, or form. But let them know, let them know, baby. Tell them tell them where they can find us, how they can follow all that good stuff, real quick.

SPEAKER_01 20:03

You can follow me at your girl.kd on Instagram. You can follow DTM at coachdm. You can follow the podcast page at rrp. No, just rrp network, rrp, yeah. Just rrp network, and then also on the podcast page, there is uh links to our profiles. You can listen to us on Apple Podcasts, Podbean, YouTube, our heart radio, wherever you get your podcast.

SPEAKER_00 20:27

Yeah, Buzz Sprout, Buzz Sprout, on over there, support the page, Pandora, we everywhere, we everywhere. Listen, anybody can love you when you're shining. That's the easy part. But mirror's material is reveal when you're struggling, like when it's a big struggle there. All right, so again, make sure you tune in next week. We got part two. Part two is just it's extremely juicy, you know what I'm saying? It's it's definitely a must here. And in closing, I do it's a moment. I did, it's the work. I'm done. It's a decision. Don't get them twisted. This is marriage material. It's your boy Coach DTN.

SPEAKER_01 21:13

And your girl KD.

SPEAKER_00 21:14

And we'll see you next week.