bottle service and body image with my bff kiera liu

This is an extra special episode because my beautiful, sweet, smart best friend Kiera Liu is on it! Kiera is AMPM's longest standing employee and currently studying to become torontos next top jeweler :) We talk about how we became best friends, some stories from our early party days, celebrity encounters (hype house mentioned), pros and cons of bottle service, the spectrum of sex work, relationship insecurity, syncing up to each other, maintaining healthy self-esteem, the importance of routines, our worst bottle service stories and much more. We laugh, we cry, we spill some tea and we hope you love this episode! Drop a like or a thumbs up if you want more episodes with miss kiera, we have so much more to share ;) 

 If you are experiencing a crisis please phone Crisis Services Canada at 1-833-456-4566, or text HOME to 686868 in Canada to text with a trained Crisis Responder.

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:01

You are now tuned into Club Therapy with Emily Chan.

SPEAKER_00 0:10

It's starting to feel like the early 2000s again with the way diet culture has shifted, and the pressure to look perfect as a bottle service girl is at an all-time high. Welcome back to Club Therapy. I missed you guys, and I hope you miss me. Today we have my best friend Kira Liu in the studio. Hi. I want to say hi to Kira. Hey, that's my best friend. Kira is currently in jewelry school and also does bottle service with me at AMPM. She used to manage the iconic retail store called Get Fresh on Queen West before moving into the service industry. Yes. Shout out GFC. I know we miss GFC. I love them.

SPEAKER_01 0:42

I know. So how long have we known each other for?

unknown 0:45

Oh God.

SPEAKER_01 0:46

I think it's been nine years now. We met when we were 19, I think, right? Like maybe 20. Like as we were turning 20, maybe.

SPEAKER_00 0:54

How did we meet?

SPEAKER_01 0:56

Well, it's kind of a funny story because I feel like before we met, we knew about each other for really long. For like maybe like a whole summer. For a whole summer. Because I remember you were away in Vancouver for the summer. I was away in Vancouver. And I just became friends with a lot of your close friends. I kind of met them through the clubbing scene. And like I was starting to get close to them. And they kept telling me, they're like, oh my God, you look just like this other Washington girl, Emily Channel.

SPEAKER_00 1:23

I always say, like, we look the exact same, like we're twins. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:26

And the crazy thing, which I love, I feel like they would always be like, um You guys are gonna hate each other. Yes. Yeah. They thought we were gonna hate each other. So before I even met you, I was like kind of scared. I was like, oh, I'm supposed to hate this girl.

SPEAKER_00 1:38

I immediately, I was like, I don't, I don't like this girl. I'm like, everyone's saying we don't like we're not gonna get along and everything. And then what happened?

SPEAKER_01 1:45

To be fair, we were really different. But then we met on a night out. You came back from Vancouver, and I feel like it was like love at first sight. It was love at first sight.

SPEAKER_00 1:54

Where did we go? Where did we meet? I think we were at, we went.

SPEAKER_01 1:57

I feel like lost and found must have been involved.

SPEAKER_00 1:59

It was lost and found, but we went somewhere before. I can't remember because that picture that picture of you. Oh, I can't remember. It had like a like I remember like a pink neon sign in the bathroom. We went somewhere beforehand.

SPEAKER_01 2:11

It was like that weird place. I feel like it was like upstairs somewhere. I remember some some long-gone club from King Street.

SPEAKER_00 2:20

Kisa used to be, I think. Like that place. Yes, yes, exactly. Like Goldie, but not Goldie. Maybe it was Goldie. Because I think Goldie.

SPEAKER_01 2:28

I feel like there might have been something right before Goldie, though. Yeah, I can't remember. Whatever. Let us know.

SPEAKER_00 2:33

We're oldies. We're oldies. But yeah, I think we went through literally like through clubbing, which is so funny because I was actually thinking about this the other day about how a lot of my friends that I'm close to now, like they're all through the service, almost all through the service industry or through like clubbing or like just like going out and stuff like that. Like, I'm not really close with like a lot of people from like I mean, I'm I there's still like a few exceptions to that rule, but I'm not really close with a lot of people from like university or high school as much anymore.

SPEAKER_01 3:01

Yeah, it's weird how like I know clubs. I feel like clubbing can be kind of superficial from the outside, but then you can really meet like amazing people. I feel like I met such a great community through there. Yeah, like I feel like I met all my like Washington baddies and my Asian girls. I feel like that's uh that's us. We have a strong team of Asian girls. I know 100%.

SPEAKER_00 3:22

Because like now we have how many people do we have working at AMPM with us? We have like seven, eight girls like serving. Okay, Kira, what was your first impression of me? I'm curious.

SPEAKER_01 3:33

Um immediately I was like at because everyone told us we looked alike, and immediately I was like, we don't look that much alike, we're just both Asian, and I was like, everyone's just racist.

SPEAKER_00 3:45

I feel like we look more like now. I feel like we look more like now.

SPEAKER_01 3:48

Yeah, I think we've morphed into each other because we're so obsessed with each other, but we become the same person. I feel like immediately I saw you, and I was like, this has to be the baddest bitch I've ever seen in my entire. Especially, I was like, I was like, her body can't be real. It is real though, guys. But I remember immediately thinking, like, wow, goals. Really? Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 4:09

Oh my gosh. I'm trying to think about when I first met you.

SPEAKER_01 4:12

I was kind of a like a bitch back then.

SPEAKER_00 4:14

Yeah, I didn't want to say it. Yeah, it's okay. That's what people you can say it.

SPEAKER_01 4:18

I was I was bitchy, and I feel like I had like major RBF.

SPEAKER_00 4:24

Yeah, but like a hot one. But like a hot one. Thank you. But I remember when I met you, I was like, wow, she is so sweet and so down to earth because I feel like it's very rare nowadays where you meet someone and like right away you see like someone's like authenticity and like personality, and that's I that's what I got from you right away. That's so sweet. I know, I'm being serious.

SPEAKER_01 4:42

To be fair, I feel like I was a bitch to some people, but I think it's just because maybe this is a bad trait, but I I judge people really quickly and I go off like my immediate gut instinct usually with people, and like but with you immediately I felt like oh, this is someone I'm gonna love.

SPEAKER_00 4:57

You're like, we're locked in. Yeah, yeah. Has it ever have you ever like misread someone where right off the bat you're like, okay, like this person's like the worst or really great, and then later on you're proven wrong. Um I'm thinking of I'll bleep it.

SPEAKER_01 5:12

I'm thinking of well, I don't know if this is like misjudging someone, but it was kind of like immediately I didn't like them, and then I grew to love them, but my first judgment was actually right, and they weren't a great person. This is oh is that so like yeah, I mean bleep it. Yeah, this is yeah, yeah. I mean, I don't know if you want to include the story, we can include it like in a more general way, but let's just say Emily had a friend who she was really close with, who gorgeous girl, very like outgoing. And I feel like my first impression of her, I just got like weird off vibes, especially because from what I knew from Emily's relationship with her, like I think she was a bit controlling over you. I didn't love that, but yeah, she'd be really and we ended up growing close anyway, and I feel like I just kind of ignored that initial judgment, and then we all became friends, and it kind of exploded in the end.

SPEAKER_00 6:07

Yeah, no, we're not friends with her anymore. No, there's a few people we used to be like close to that we're not friends with anymore, and it's not like beef with everyone, there's beef with a few people, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 6:15

But I don't even think of it as like beef anymore. Like I don't think of her negatively. I don't think it's good to hold on to those resentments. Yeah, it's too tiring.

SPEAKER_00 6:22

It's too there'd be too many people. Not at this age, not at this age, you know. At our age, yeah. At our no, no, no, I can't. Yeah, I'm always wondering though, I'm like, what are those people up to? But they these are other people we met through clubbing. Like I actually met through clubbing. But yeah, I remember I met her through clubbing, I think in like first or second year university. I met her because we were both from Vancouver, we had like mutual friends and stuff like that. Um and then we got really close, but I realized her whole relationship was just like about going out and stuff. Like she was really fun to go out with and she like knew where to go and stuff like that. But at the end of the day, she was insane. Yeah, she was psychotic. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 6:57

I think there's like I mean, with any kind of industry, but especially when you're in the scene or like clubbing, I I fucking hate saying the scene, I hate that I said that.

SPEAKER_00 7:05

But um she always makes fun of me when I say this scene.

SPEAKER_01 7:08

It's kind of like a mixed bag. Like you're gonna have to deal with people who aren't gonna stay with you long term and then but you just gotta persevere because then who'll meet your best friend for life. Your soulmate. Your soulmate.

SPEAKER_00 7:20

Okay, so what was our what do you think um was our funniest? Yeah, what was our funniest moment together? Slash funnest moment. Because I can already think of mine with you. Really? Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 7:30

Oh, there's the many that come to mind.

SPEAKER_00 7:33

It was I had a lot of fun on your birthday. I was about to say that, okay. Yeah, like what, like a month and a half ago? Except it ended terribly. I peeked on myself and on my bed.

SPEAKER_01 7:42

That kind of means it was a good night.

SPEAKER_00 7:44

It was a good night, but you guys don't understand the hangover I had the next day. I was like, I'm not drinking again, I'm not drinking again. I was feeling great the next day. I was like living on the high. It was so fun though. Where did we go? We went to a bar.

SPEAKER_01 7:55

Yeah, we went to a bar. We went to Lonely Diner first, then a bar. And then a bar. And both were like amazing. Like, I didn't even realize our friend Cindy works at Lonely Diner, which is gorgeous. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 8:09

We love her.

SPEAKER_01 8:09

Love her, love everyone. She's the best. Everyone treated us, like gave us princess treatment and went to AMPM, got a few drinks.

SPEAKER_00 8:15

A bar gave us champagne because it was because we had to wait, I think.

SPEAKER_01 8:18

A little bit, yeah. Yeah, barely worth the champagne.

SPEAKER_00 8:21

We love our bar and lonely diner guys and AMPM. I that was a really fun night. I was also thinking about the night that we went out in Miami when we went to 11, even though I didn't make it out the whole night. I feel like that was such a fun night. That was my first time clubbing in like the States, to be honest. I've never been to a club in like New York or LA. Yeah. That was my and that was my first club in Miami, of course. But yeah, my first like real club experience in the States, and it was so crazy.

SPEAKER_01 8:44

Yeah. Well, I I feel like I clubbed a lot in LA because I lived there a decent amount of time during COVID. But the clubbing there is so bad.

SPEAKER_00 8:52

It's bad.

SPEAKER_01 8:52

I don't know if that's a hot take. But I feel like people there would agree. I feel like people would agree are very um, they're kind of exactly what you'd expect. It's kind of superficial. There's like probably some Zed list celebrity walking around trying to look cool, and everyone else is standing in a booth trying to look cool and like no one's dancing. That's the thing. I want a dancing club.

SPEAKER_00 9:13

I just want, even if I'm not dancing, because I'm not a very good dancer, I have to be really drunk to dance. But we were dancing on my birthday. We were dancing on your birthday. I couldn't even watch it. And I was like, I know our friends the next day were sending us videos of like us up on the bar, guys. And I couldn't even, I was so hungover. I was like on the verge of like a panic attack, and then I get this video of me up on the bar. I was like, oh.

SPEAKER_01 9:32

I threw my phone. I like opened the video and threw my phone because I was like, I can't watch this. I have like the scary taster.

SPEAKER_00 9:38

Yeah, no, it was scary, it was scary. Yeah, that was my that was those were two recent kind of fun moments. We've got so many though.

SPEAKER_01 9:45

So fun.

SPEAKER_00 9:46

Miami was so.

SPEAKER_01 9:46

I feel like we were there with such like a good group of friends, like the girls we had with us and like our guy friends that we went with.

SPEAKER_00 9:52

Yeah, they knew what they're doing. They got a section. Yeah, thank God.

SPEAKER_01 9:56

Yeah, bills were thrown.

SPEAKER_00 9:58

Bills were thrown. I of course didn't make it. I think who was who was singing that night? Like 50 Cent or something, or like no walk of luck or something.

SPEAKER_01 10:04

No, not walk of Tyga. No, it was um no, but along those lines.

SPEAKER_00 10:10

Along those lines, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 10:11

Someone like that.

SPEAKER_00 10:13

Who was it? Two chains. Two chains. It was two chains. Yeah, and I left before two chains came on because I was just I couldn't do it. Yeah, I just something about me, guys. Like, I am not built to drink. I actually think I might be allergic to it. My boyfriend's mom the other day told me um with love, she's like, I don't think alcohol is meant for you. And I don't disagree with that.

SPEAKER_01 10:33

I mean, I don't know if it's intolerance. Like it's not good for anyone.

SPEAKER_00 10:36

No, it's not good for anyone.

SPEAKER_01 10:38

Some people just manage it better, I guess.

SPEAKER_00 10:39

Especially me. Because you've seen me through Blackout Emily when I first when I first started co going out, I would literally blackout every single weekend, like multiple like two nights in a row, like every weekend for like years.

SPEAKER_01 10:51

Well, you were known as like ambulance Emily, ambulance Emily. Like I think it was like within one year you went to the hospital of how many?

SPEAKER_00 10:58

First year, I almost got kicked out of residence. Yeah, you went to the hospital. Six times. Six times, which is why I almost got kicked out of first year res. Yeah. Yeah. So I went from that to like where I'm at now, which is good. But you've seen through like all of that. I've grown.

SPEAKER_01 11:10

You've grown so much. I feel like, oh my God, the stories you have are so good. It would be like I don't remember any of them.

SPEAKER_00 11:18

It's always people telling me. They're like, oh, you did this.

SPEAKER_01 11:20

And I'm like my favorite thing is telling stories about Emily. Like, I'll even be in a room when you're not even there, and people will be like, what's the craziest thing that's happened to you? I'm like, I don't have anything, but I have something Emily.

SPEAKER_00 11:31

You actually do. You do. I feel like from when you were in LA, I feel like you've had like a lot of crazy moments, especially like in LA. I feel like there's like a lot of like celebrity kind of moments as well. Or when we went to Bahamas, remember we were at the NBA conference? Oh my god.

SPEAKER_01 11:43

Yeah, we accidentally went to the NBA conference. We accidentally went to the NBA conference. Had no idea what was going on. And we were at Bahamar, surrounded by celebrities. I was like machine gun telling me.

SPEAKER_00 11:56

Oh, really? Yeah. I thought we had more experiences.

SPEAKER_01 11:59

No, that was like early days. I mean, maybe I had more, but I was like overwhelmed. I was like, you knew everyone, I feel like, because there was a lot of TikTokers. I kept, yeah, I love a TikTok. Emily was oh my god, remember when we went to Hype House?

SPEAKER_00 12:12

We went to the Hype House that one time. I signed an NBA for that.

SPEAKER_01 12:15

No, but you still snuck photos. You didn't post them anywhere though.

SPEAKER_00 12:18

I didn't post them anywhere.

SPEAKER_01 12:19

Yeah, don't sue, don't sue Emily.

SPEAKER_00 12:21

Please guys don't. We allegedly went to the hype house. We alleged to you attach a photo here. It's like me leaving the hype house. That was so funny. I remember I dragged you out there.

SPEAKER_01 12:29

I I was like, there's no part of me that wants to go all the way to Calabasas. I think the Uber was like 150 USD or something.

SPEAKER_00 12:36

Yes, and I remember I paid for it too because I was so desperate to go there. I was like, please guys, please. I think we split it on the way back. I think you guys did, but one of the ways I paid percent. Because everyone else is. That's fair though. That's fair. And I was like, we're not fucking going to hype house. Yeah. It was still silly. We have a funny story at the hype house. Oh my god. Do you remember? We went into the bathroom and someone, someone took a I almost don't want to say it. We went into the hype house and we went into the we allegedly went into the bathroom, allegedly, of the hype house, like in the basement. And someone had taken a shit on the seat. And we didn't realize until we were like all over the place. All over the place. And we're in the bathroom of the hype house. And we were in the closed door. There's a bunch of people like just outside. And we're standing there. We're like, oh my God, what do we do? Like, people, if we leave, people are gonna think it's us. What do we do? And we're just stuck in there.

SPEAKER_01 13:27

And then we're just stuck in there and we're like, this is like we couldn't clean it up. That's disgusting.

SPEAKER_00 13:31

I would never disgusting. I'm not doing that.

SPEAKER_01 13:34

I don't even remember what we do. We walked out, and I think you were like, guys, I think I was one of those. Something crazy happened in there. It wasn't us though.

SPEAKER_00 13:41

I know, but like, I'm like, did anyone believe us? I don't know. I don't know. That was so embarrassing. I have a video of that too. But yeah, when we're at the Baja Mar, I'm trying to think of who was there. I remember I was pointing out people I was like, there's Machina Kelly, there's Zach Bia, Jaden Smith was there.

SPEAKER_01 13:54

I on God. There was that pretty girl who like had the Summer Rae. Summer, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 13:59

Summer Ray.

SPEAKER_01 14:00

Um, I think I have a picture with her. There was, oh my god, there was who? Uh Manny Pacquiao. You don't know who that is. Okay, never mind. He's like like one of the most famous boxers ever. He was there. Yeah, he was there. He was in like the private um poker room. See. I saw him walk by though. I think I don't remember this. I don't remember this. I think it's a good one. This was a long time ago.

SPEAKER_00 14:20

This was um six years ago. Six or seven, yeah. So no, I think six years ago.

SPEAKER_01 14:25

Yeah. Yeah. It was a while. Like every NBA player you could kind of imagine.

SPEAKER_00 14:30

I remember oh, all NBA players are cheating. And that's a big statement to make. Maybe not all of them. Maybe there are a few that aren't. And I'm wrong. Don't cancel me, but most NBA players are cheating. I feel like nothing.

SPEAKER_01 14:44

Maybe not everyone's actively cheating. I think they've all cheated at some point.

SPEAKER_00 14:49

Yeah, that weekend I was like, wow.

SPEAKER_01 14:51

And not only with women, but there's so many DL. So many.

SPEAKER_00 14:55

So many. I literally there's another person I saw. I remember he was he was so famous, and I knew he had a wife too. And I saw him just cheating left, right, and center. I was like, Yeah, it's crazy. Yeah, and I got in I got in trouble because I remember someone, I'm gonna bleep this, but someone ordered food. We're gonna bleep the whole thing. It's like bleep bleep the whole thing. The whole thing. Um yeah, like someone ordered food, and then I took I took their food that they ordered and I got screamed at by their assistant. They're like, Why would you do that? Why would you touch touch that? Like, what's that like it was um no, it was just food food. Oh my kid, yeah, he yelled at me. Yeah, and he's like, Why would you touch that food? And I was like, I thought it was for everyone. Yeah, I got like screamed at, and then afterwards I'm flying home and was on my plane, of course. Yeah, I mean, we ended up being friends with them anyway. Okay, so I wanted to ask you about AMPM because that's not exactly why we're here today, right? But there's it's a big part of it. It's a big part of it because we worked there together. You've been there since like day one almost like we were there on opening night, but I think you started working there like a week or two after like they opened.

SPEAKER_01 15:59

Well, do you remember? Um, we were both there for opening, like OG opening, where they were only open for like a month or two. And then when they did their proper like grand opening, I was I was there one there. I was I was the only server they had. It was just me, one bar back who's no longer working there, but we love him. Um, and Cam and Ben. And then like not long after they brought on Silas and Alana, love both of them. Love Alana, miss her. Obviously, love Silas. Um it was just me on the floor for like a few weeks, and I was just running that shit. That's crazy. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 16:38

Because I see, like, even like when I'm there alone now and it's not even fully sold out, I'm on the verge of a panic attack. I'm like, this is so much to handle.

SPEAKER_01 16:47

Yeah, it was it was crazy, especially because I lied to them and told them I had bottle service experience, but I didn't.

SPEAKER_00 16:53

You didn't have to lie, they would have hired you.

SPEAKER_01 16:55

Well, Cam knew, but I think Cam wanted me to lie so that not to call him out. So the other owners would be like, okay with it.

SPEAKER_00 17:03

You did so well right away though.

SPEAKER_01 17:04

Yeah, you fake it till you make it. So I was just like, I'm gonna act like I know exactly what I'm doing. And thank God the POS is so easy at AMB. It's a very easy POS.

SPEAKER_00 17:13

It was kind of a learning curve for me at first because I was so used to a different one. But when I first or when I finally got the hang of it, I was like, this is actually not that bad. Yeah, thank God. So it's been like what, like five, six years? Um, I think no longer, no, six. I think six years. I think six years. Uh from like or maybe five and a half.

SPEAKER_01 17:33

It'll be six years in August, I think is the anniversary of when they opened.

SPEAKER_00 17:38

Yeah, that's true.

SPEAKER_01 17:39

It's crazy how much it's just changed over the years, too.

SPEAKER_00 17:42

It has. I've been there since day one as well. It's yeah, I feel like it used to be kind of like like there used to be like a lot of older people there, a lot more like people from the Filipino community were there as well. I remember it was like more kind of like it wasn't, it didn't really have that identity as like an Asian kind of club.

SPEAKER_01 17:57

Yeah, like I feel like it had, I mean, it was had like the Asian decorations and like a lot of Asian inspiration. Well, like specifically Chinese, like Hong Kong, but I don't think it was like certified Chinese club yet. No, not yet, not yet, but it developed and it it was crazy because at the beginning, when I was there alone, I just had to like make up. Like Cam was just like wear whatever you think is right. So I had to kind of Yeah, there's no uniform. There's no there's never been a uniform, but like I so at first I showed up in like what I thought was good, like skirts and dresses, kind of trying to copy the Lost and Found girls that I saw. And then after a while, I feel like I wanted to bring in more my style, and then that's when I started wearing like the Lamoda boots and like the cut-up tights, tops, and like more of a grungy kind of vibe.

SPEAKER_00 18:49

And I feel like that's like something that the AMPM bottle service girls are kind of known for, right? Like it just like being a bit more like alternative and like kind of grungy, like with like what we wear. I love it. It's so fun. I love wearing a bodysuit to work. Oh my god. Yeah, and just wearing like my big like we call them our stompers. Yeah, I love my stompers.

SPEAKER_01 19:06

I just got a new pair of stompers.

SPEAKER_00 19:07

Oh, you did? They look great. When it comes to AMPM, did you see yourself like being here for this long? Because you've been there for like you, I think you are AMPM's like longest standing employee, besides Kevin Ben, of course. They don't even count their owners, they don't even count their owners, exactly. But what do you think? Did you think you would be here like at this age right now at AMPM?

SPEAKER_01 19:28

I feel like when I first started AMPM, I had no idea like where my life trajectory was even going. That's true. Like I if you told me back then that I would go back to school and like be pursuing other things, I would never guess. Um so when I first started there, of course, I wanted it to be a long-term thing. And I already loved, I already had a relationship with Kim and Ben through you, and I already loved them so much and like really believed in them all together. Yeah, and they're both attending a cult tea. I feel like even Kim and Ben, like they obviously had faith in themselves, but I don't even think they really knew what it was gonna grow into. I don't think anyone knew what it was gonna grow into.

SPEAKER_00 20:08

No, because I feel like it's really grown into like such an establishment. Yeah, like it really has become a spot. Even when I'm in like Vancouver, sometimes even like when I'm out like in random places, and you might feel you might have this too, like I get recognized as like, oh, like you're one of the girls that like works at AMPM, or like Yeah, it's crazy.

SPEAKER_01 20:24

Like I'll be scrolling on like Xiaong Shu, like Chinese Instagram or whatever.

SPEAKER_00 20:28

Oh, really?

SPEAKER_01 20:29

And I'll literally see posts of like people going to AMPM when they visit Canada and stuff, and I'm like, that's so funny.

SPEAKER_00 20:35

You're like, I work there.

SPEAKER_01 20:36

I love it, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 20:37

Yeah, I do love it. I do love to be part of it. Yeah, it feels good to be a part of it.

SPEAKER_01 20:41

Yeah, and I'm so glad it's been able to like stand the test of time and like really become like a place for Asians, especially because I feel like I mean, there's obviously other places that Asians like to go out. Yeah, big trouble, big trouble. Exactly. But it's always nice to create more spaces for for sure.

SPEAKER_00 21:02

For us, yeah. I call them AMP sometimes the Asian community center. That's what I said to someone the other day when they were visiting from the States. They're like, oh my god, there's so many Asian people here. And I was like, Yeah, it's the Asian community center here. Yeah, all Asians. It's our conference center. Yeah, it's our conference center. So I want to ask you, like, what opportunities has bottle service led to? Like, do you think that that's led to you to any opportunities? Do you think there's opportunities you would have gotten from bottle service that you might not have gotten without it?

SPEAKER_01 21:29

I feel like the main opportunity is just well, like the first thing that comes to mind is just like the opportunity of like building amazing friendships, and like that's been like the most impactful thing in my life, especially because I feel like I grew up in a pretty white neighborhood in Toronto. Oh and like until I moved downtown, I was kind of lacking the people of color in my life and feeling like a sense of community belonging. I mean, I had like a Best friend who was also half Asian growing up, but we were kind of like the only ones for a bit. Yeah. Until we got older, of course. But so now, like being able to look around and see that I'm surrounded by people that like look a little bit like me or come from similar backgrounds. We can relate, we can go for like dim sum and like all share meals together. We're not ordering single dishes for ourselves. How the white people like to order. I know. Sorry. No offense.

SPEAKER_00 22:26

No offense, Steve.

SPEAKER_01 22:28

But we're not talking about East Yeah. But I love it. I think like the best opportunity for me is just been able to connect with like my community here in Toronto, my fellow Chinese and other all sorts of Asians.

SPEAKER_00 22:41

That's a great answer. I didn't even think about that answer. I like I was thinking about like for me, I actually, when I was writing this question out earlier, I was kind of thinking about like how I would answer this too. And I was thinking that I um am really grateful for bottle service for so many reasons. And now that you say this, of course, I love the friendships that I've created through bottle service and like the opportunity to like meet like-minded people, people who like come from a similar cultural background, like that's so valuable and important. I love that, but I also love the networking aspect of it. That's one of my favorites. Yeah, I feel like we've gotten a lot of things through bottle service.

SPEAKER_01 23:14

Yeah, you especially, because I feel like Emily is like the most, I don't know how else to describe it, the most lovable. No, like the most lovable, genuine person ever. People gravitate towards you really easily. And I feel like I'm like the biggest winner of the entire world to be able to call you best friend. And like, I'm like, yeah, guys, I won. I have the best best friend in the world. Um, but people love you so much, and I feel like you're just so good at networking.

SPEAKER_00 23:42

Thank you.

SPEAKER_01 23:42

And like I love that you're able to utilize it for yourself, but also like not in a selfish way. I feel like you also give it so much to like the people who you connect with. Like you're always there for advice, you're always the shoulder to lean on for everyone.

SPEAKER_00 23:57

Yeah, everyone's like reprocate.

SPEAKER_01 23:59

Everyone's free therapist. I try, guys, I try. You should start billing people.

SPEAKER_00 24:02

I should I should no, I couldn't. But not me. Not you, no.

SPEAKER_01 24:05

I can afford it. Too many hours.

SPEAKER_00 24:07

Yeah, you'd have to bill me though. No, yeah, you'd have to bill me. But yeah, I feel like I I feel like the thank you. I actually I really appreciate you saying that. And honestly, what's mine is yours. Whenever I'm doing well, or if someone's giving me an opportunity, I always put Kier on, and I know she would do the same for me. So I shouldn't. But I always try to like reciprocate, like with networking, when people are doing things for me, I try to return the favor, even if it's something like putting someone on on guest list or comping their cover um or adding something to like their A and PM experience or doing something for them, like just even if it's like really small, like I really try to reciprocate.

SPEAKER_01 24:44

Yeah, it's hard to do that. I think you do, and that's why I feel like not only do you make these relationships initially, but you're able to maintain and relationships like over long term because it feels like a symbiotic relationship. You're not just some like parasite trying to get stuff out of people, exactly.

SPEAKER_00 25:01

Because I feel like a lot of don't generalize, but I feel like bottle okay what bottle service girls have a reputation, I think, for being kind of scammers and like being like gold diggers or something. Like gold diggers, and like sure, maybe that is the case for some people, but I think majority of the especially the bottle service girls now, just generally I do feel like that has shifted. Like a lot of the bottle service girls I know in Toronto, like at A and PM and at other clubs, are very genuine down-to-earth people. Like I think of like Asia. I have like a few friends that work at Features. I love Asia so much. I love Asia, and she's so genuine and down to earth, and I feel like just not, and I mean like she's not like that at all.

SPEAKER_01 25:35

Also Kylisha.

SPEAKER_00 25:36

Kylisha, like there's so many great girls. There's so many wonderful girls who are not like that. And so I feel like we're lucky, like we're in a circle where all the girls that we know that work in the the industry are pretty down to earth.

SPEAKER_01 25:48

I also feel like of all the girls to call gold diggers, especially when I feel like I was working at my peak, like when I was working four days a week at AMPM, um, guys would come to me and I'd be like, bro, I make more than you in a night than you do in like two weeks.

SPEAKER_00 26:06

I'm not coming for you.

SPEAKER_01 26:07

Like, I'm not trying to dig your pocket. Don't worry. I have my own like bottle girls do, thank God, and I appreciate it. We make good money. So we don't really need the handouts. No, thank God.

SPEAKER_00 26:18

Yeah. Well, I want to ask you as well, what do you think are the biggest bottle benefits of working as a bottle service girl?

SPEAKER_01 26:23

Oh my gosh. Um for me personally, I don't know if this would apply to everyone. I feel like um it's made me like a more rounded, kind of better person in general. I think before working bottle service, again, I was a bit of a bitch.

SPEAKER_00 26:42

Not to me, guys, not to me.

SPEAKER_01 26:43

Not to Emily, but to some people. I feel like I was kind of known as being a little bit bitchy or like maybe like a little too blunt or I think you were just more like closed off to people you didn't know as well.

SPEAKER_00 26:53

Or like what other horrible resources. I feel like you've always been really good to the people you've really loved and like healthclubs, but I feel like to people you didn't know as well, you weren't as friendly. Exactly. And I feel like you didn't open yourself up to people till you were a bit older. Exactly.

SPEAKER_01 27:06

Whereas I feel like doing bottle service, working any service job really in general. This also happened when I was doing retail management, but um, it just teaches you to like be a bit softer and like yeah, you never know who you're talking to. And maybe that person is like a great guy and we can be friends. Or I met my boyfriend through the club too. I would have like, oh my god, that's true. Back in the day, I feel like I would have been like, no, fuck you. Don't talk to me. Actually, I approached him first, but whatever. And now, look, yeah, and we've been together for ages, and like I think it's um helping me develop my softer side. That's correct, being a better people person, social skills.

SPEAKER_00 27:48

They're important skills, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 27:49

Because before I used to just be like an angry little grumpus, yeah, but we I still am a little bit, but I'm not your moments, but you're generally like Emily knows. I think I've gotten nicer over the years.

SPEAKER_00 28:01

And I can be a big grumpy sometimes too.

SPEAKER_01 28:03

I feel like, yeah, I feel like when we first met, you were we were so polar opposites of that spectrum where I was like probably the grumpiest person ever, and you were maybe overly, I don't want to say people pleasing, but like maybe too sweet to the point where people kind of walk over you.

SPEAKER_00 28:18

Like took advantage, right?

SPEAKER_01 28:19

Yeah, take advantage of you or whatever. And then I feel like we've both kind of taught each each other to like soften a bit or like harden a bit. Thank God. Yeah, yeah, I've I've toughen up.

SPEAKER_00 28:29

I've even said this in like another now. We're both perfect. No, yeah, like we don't need to change. Exactly. I literally said this in another episode. I was like, yours like helped me out so much with like like thickening my skin. Like, I feel like I actually have like a bit of a backbone and know how to set boundaries and be assertive with people because of you. I feel like with bottle service, my favorite thing is, and maybe this is also a bad thing as well, is that it feeds my ego a lot. I love like seeing a video of myself the next day, and like I look really good, and I'm like, oh my god, like yeah when when you go to a table and all the attention's on you, and like there's cameras everywhere, and you're just like being posted over everyone's like or throughout like everyone's stories, like that feels so good. But then it's also a bad thing because I feel like then so much of your ego becomes tied to doing bottle service, right? And the way you look and the way you're perceived, which is like not a great thing, right? Because there's so much more to both of us than that. But I think it's like my favorite thing about bottle service, but like definitely a bit of a consequence, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 29:27

It's kind of like a double-edged blade.

SPEAKER_00 29:29

Yeah, exactly. Because now at this point, like I feel like if I'm having a bad day or I feel bloated, and like if I'm comparing myself to like we work at a club that like AMPM, we were saying how it's changed a lot. There's now so many like really young girls that are coming in. Again, all legal, I think. Um I don't know. But there's a lot of really young girls coming in, right? And I'm comparing my 27-year-old body to a 20-year-old's body or a 19-year-old's body, which is just unrealistic. Like when I look back to myself at that age, like my metabolism was high. I would eat like shit. I would binge drink like five days a week and somehow was able to look like pretty good. I'm not gonna lie.

SPEAKER_01 30:08

It's called anorexia. Yeah, maybe it was anorexia. Maybe it's a little anorexia. It's a bit of an eating disorder, both of us. I think.

SPEAKER_00 30:14

Both of us, but like it's but like I don't have the metabolism that I had at like 20 years old. And so I think comparing myself to like a younger person, like and doing that constantly. If I have a bad day and my ego's so tied to how I look, if yeah, I'm comparing myself, it just it's not good when I feel that happens a lot where I am comparing myself to other people.

SPEAKER_01 30:33

I think it's also hard to like not to like gas everyone at AMPM. But I think the girls that work at AMPM are some of the most beautiful women I've like ever met in my entire life. Gorgeous. So if you're having a bad day and you show up and you're surrounded by literally the hottest women ever.

SPEAKER_00 30:49

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 30:49

Sometimes I'm like, oh shit. I'm like, I'll literally be like, I can't stand because I normally work with Emily and Mal on Saturdays. Yeah, I'll be like, we'll have Saturdays, guys. They'll be like, oh my god, let's take a photo. And I'll be like, I'll look at it and I'll be like, absolutely not. That's not going anywhere.

SPEAKER_00 31:02

And it's funny because like we're all kind of thinking the same thing. Like, I feel like it's always greener. There's always one feature about the other girls that we'd like, yeah, that we're like, you have this and I don't have this.

SPEAKER_01 31:14

Yeah, I wish I did, but this is kind of a conversation I feel like you and I have at least once a month, where one of us will say, Oh, I'm feeling not great this week, or like, Oh, I feel so bloated, I don't feel cute. We all go through those faces, and then the other person will be like, Girl, you literally have my dream body. If I we could swap and we'll have this conversation like incessantly, all the time, all the time, but which is like it's crazy because it's it's genuine. Like, I always feel like you've always had like my dream body, and then you'll say the same thing to me, and I'll be like, You're crazy.

SPEAKER_00 31:44

I pay millions, guys. I pay millions.

SPEAKER_01 31:46

Stop. No, people literally pay for your body, people be out there getting BBLs trying to get your ass.

SPEAKER_00 31:51

And people pay for yours. Well, people pay for yours. Anyway, do you have a consequence? Like, do you think to like doing bottle service? Like, do you think there are some consequences to like being a bottle service girl though?

SPEAKER_01 32:00

Definitely. I mean, yeah, I think it's a lot. Um, because I think you have to put yourself in a very different mindset from most other industries. I mean, a little bit of all service workers, but being a woman in an industry where your looks are basically what got you the job. Literally. And even though you have to be good at selling and smart and smart, like you obviously there's other skills, but the main like thing you need to do is hot. Yeah. Sorry. Unfortunately. And that's just the way we live. And the amount of money you earn is potentially tied to how you look. For sure. I say this, it's a bit of a hot take, but I always say that bottle service is like in the spectrum of sex work because, well, one, you're wearing these pretty skimpy outfits. Of course, like we're not physically doing anything with men.

SPEAKER_00 32:53

And it's funny because I think a lot of the bottles, I think actually almost all of the bottle service girls, like at AMPM, like they're we're all in relationships. Exactly. Yeah. Like we're not, like, it's literally not like that at all.

SPEAKER_01 33:03

Yeah. However, however, you're kind of selling a dream, which I think is what sex workers do a lot of the time. 100%. You're selling the dream of like maybe this guy's thinking, oh, if I spend XXX money, maybe uh this girl will give me her number and maybe I can take her out.

SPEAKER_00 33:22

Or if I somehow, like she'll think that I'm doing this.

SPEAKER_01 33:25

And I mean, it's not uncommon to get hit on and to there's, I feel like a little bit of a pressure to flirt with customers to like get better tips. Of course, like I think all of us at AMPM are really good at setting boundaries, and like we have the support from everyone else at AMPM, like all the other staff, like all the guys that work at AMPM, they support us. They like, if we say our boundary was crossed, they'll kick that person out.

SPEAKER_00 33:48

Absolutely. But I think there's a lot of pressure to flirt with guys for money for sure basically, and like even like kind of like toe that line between like being friendly and like flirting. And I think that's like that line gets towed so often in the service industry, which is why it can be really difficult to be in a relationship. Like if you are in the service industry, if your partner is in the service industry or like they're not, like that line gets towed so often, which is why I think, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 34:11

Yeah, so I think it it takes that mental toll because especially as like we're all intelligent women, but you're kind of boiled down to just your looks. A guy will look at you as he's holding the machine as you're cashing him out, and he'll be like, So, do you have a boyfriend? Before as he's about to type in the tip amount, he's like, So, do you have a boyfriend? I'm like, Yeah, zero tip immediately. And I'm just like, Okay, so if I had lied, maybe I would have made an extra $200 for the tip pool. But I'm like, where do you draw that line? Like, I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna go home with you.

SPEAKER_00 34:44

Sorry, babes. Absolutely. I think being honest is really good. And I feel like it's something like I feel like at AMP they really respect that and like and really do protect us. Like if someone touches you, I mean they're out. If someone makes an inappropriate comment or is being difficult, like they're out when like someone else has to build them out, like camera band or something. Yeah, thankfully it doesn't happen too often. I feel like our clientele is over generally pretty respectful. Occasionally through some groping. Yeah, that's like the unfortunate side. Unfortunate, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 35:12

Unfortunately, we are wearing small outfits, so I think people think that it's okay to live.

SPEAKER_00 35:18

Yeah, and people think it's like okay to look at vulnerable.

SPEAKER_01 35:20

Yeah, and in a crowd where I think everyone knows AMPM is a bit of a sardine crowd sometimes. Yeah, it's so packed, and you look behind you, you can't even tell like who did it. So it's hard sometimes to even point out like this is the person who needs to be kicked out.

SPEAKER_00 35:32

Oh, absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 35:33

One time I I choked a guy in the club, though. That's that's like one of my favorite AMPM stories, actually. Other than getting getting groped was the worst part, but then getting to literally like I saw the fear in his eyes, and that gave me so much happiness.

SPEAKER_00 35:47

My favorite was when I think one time there was some guy and he was dancing, and he was just being so crazy, and he just like was hitting everyone while he was dancing, and he was keep in mind, like very drunk, right? Like he wasn't like he was so drunk, like no idea of like what he was doing. And I think you literally grabbed him and you like shook him, and you're like, calm the fuck down. Like him right now.

SPEAKER_01 36:06

There's been moments where I've had to get a little yeah, remind them the space they're in.

SPEAKER_00 36:11

And I think that's good. Someone has to do it. I remember one time you and Sue, you guys were outside of AMPM, right? And like some guy, he like just smacked both of you guys like at the same time.

SPEAKER_01 36:20

Yeah, we were both standing outside because it gets really hot in AMPM. So like at the end of the night, sometimes we'll like go stand outside to get a breath of fresh air. And we're just standing there, and this guy comes by. I think he said, like, good night, ladies, like double hand, and then yeah, like double hand slaps our asses, and you do. I immediately turned around like I was literally ready to fight someone, but um, one of our lovely bouncers dealt with that for us. I didn't like literally within a blink of an eye, he was on the ground. And I'm not gonna lie, I was like, Yeah, kill him, kill him, kick him. Obviously, he's not dead. We didn't kill him, but I would have. There was a moment where I was like, Yeah, kill him, kill him.

SPEAKER_00 37:04

Yeah, there's just sometimes it's just it's like crazy the audacity I think some people have. I think something for me is like, I think one of the biggest consequences of working in bottle service is definitely having a partner that works as a bartender. I think because people perceive that I'm flirting or whatever, they also perceive my boyfriend who's bartending as like flirting as well. And again, we have to be friendly, it's a part of our job, and like maybe there's an element of flirting there, but it's difficult because I feel like with that, like there's like a lot of like rumors that kind of come up. And I think that's like this is more specific to me, just because like I'm yeah, like I'm kind of like talking about my experience more specifically. Yeah, um, but yeah, I think that's like one of the biggest like downfalls of like doing bottle service and working with your boyfriend that is also a bartender.

SPEAKER_01 37:49

I think it just adds a whole other layer to it. Like, I couldn't imagine having my partner also being in the service industry. Dude, I'd be like, and I see how difficult it is for like you and some of the other couples that are in the service industry. I'm like, wow, if Spencer was working in a club, actually I think I'd be chill about it. I'm like the crazy chill one.

SPEAKER_00 38:06

But also, you're not crazy. I'm crazy. I'm crazy. Sometimes I see a girl talking to Cameron at the bar and I'm like literally glaring them down, and I'm like, and then I sometimes I realize I'm like, oh, I know that girl. Or I'm like, oh, it's like a hero. You know what I mean? Like, I just I don't even realize that.

SPEAKER_01 38:18

Yeah, one time, one time I poked Cam's butt by accident.

SPEAKER_00 38:21

Yeah, and that's okay. It's you, it's you. But I feel like it gets it gets like a little bit messy that boundary, and I feel like sometimes like like that can be like a major consequence. It's hard to like be in a relationship. I think sometimes in the service industry, it takes like a lot of like trust, it takes a lot of honesty, a lot of open communication, a lot of like boundary setting. I know that Cameron's gonna message girls to come to AMPM because he owns the club. He's you're like, no, I know I'm like, I'm like choking myself in the corner, but I'm like, yeah, it's fine. But then I also know at the in the same breath, I'm messaging guys. Yeah, I'm getting flown out every now and then. I'm going to things.

SPEAKER_01 38:59

So it's like 20 more things I can do.

SPEAKER_00 39:01

I'm like, and I'm doing this and this and this. But there's trust there, and like there's trust. Like we all know you would never ever expect. I know we wouldn't either. But I think that, yeah, that can be challenging sometimes.

SPEAKER_01 39:12

Yeah, I think yeah, like that's something I'm so thankful for in my relationship. Like, I'm so grateful that Spencer does trust me. Not that he has like any reason not to, but I couldn't imagine having like an insecure boyfriend. Like stressing, yeah, because it it's an issue where where like boyfriends will be trying to control what you're wearing at work, and it's like I'm not gonna wear me when I was like this. Exactly. When I was doing this, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 39:36

Accept it. Accept it. It was hard for Kim because he didn't when he met me, I was just like regular serving, like I wasn't doing bottle service, and he kept telling me he's like bottle service is like literally gonna ruin you. And I was like, No, I'm better than that. And it on it has and it hasn't. Like there's been so many upsides to it, but like there has been a lot of downsides for sure.

SPEAKER_01 39:53

Like, I do think that um I took him way too long to hire.

SPEAKER_00 39:59

Yeah, a like I was asking to work there for so long, and I had to do bottle service at another place before he was like, Okay, you can work here. Yeah, I don't want you like bringing like other people to like the place that you're working at. But yeah, like I think it does take such a big toll on my mental health. Like, I think every time I like gain a pound or I just like feel bloated, the last thing I want to do is like put on a little outfit and go to work. Like, I feel so insecure, and the entire shift, I'm just like kind of internally, I'm like, I want to leave, I want to go. Like, I just feel so awkward and like uncomfortable.

SPEAKER_01 40:29

Yeah, it's super difficult, especially when we've been doing it for so long. We go through so many phases in our bodies and aging, which I love personally. I think we're the best we look like ever right now. Like, as every time I get older, I feel like I look even better than I did last year. Not to like try to gas ourselves up, but I just think aging is like amazing. Like, I love aging, but it's hard because you go through all these changes with your body, and as a woman, weight fluctuates. Like sometimes you're in an industry too where like everything's kind of like photoshopped and stuff, and then you feel like, oh my god, do I have to photoshop stuff? And I hate photoshopping photos. You hate photoshopping photos.

SPEAKER_00 41:10

She gets carry gets mad at me if I if I'm like editing my photos too much. She like literally like like she gets physically mad.

SPEAKER_01 41:17

I feel like because like we both came from an era where it was really like everyone photoshopped their photos back in the day. Yeah. And I feel like that was when my yeah, and like that's when our body dysmorphia was probably the worst. So like I think back to like, oh my god, I don't want to have to like compare myself to a photo that's literally photoshopped to I think that's another big consequence, like body dysmorphia.

SPEAKER_00 41:36

I didn't know maybe I did have it before bottle service, but I think it made it-I definitely did. I definitely did, but bottle service made it worse. Because sometimes I'll like be having a good day. I'm like, wow, I feel so good about myself, blah blah blah. And then I come in and then like immediately I'm like, wow, like the girls I'm standing next to are just like skinnier than me, their skin's a bit clearer, their hair is a bit shinier, and then all of a sudden I feel like awful about myself. Yeah. And it's funny because everyone else is probably feeling the same way.

SPEAKER_01 42:00

Exactly. I mean, skin, especially. I think both of us have had a hard time with our skin.

SPEAKER_00 42:04

Yeah, we've both been dealing with some pretty annoying skin issues over the last couple of years, like, or maybe year, year-ish, like a few years, including the acne. Yeah, acne and then eczema. We're always synced up too. When I have acne, cura's acne. When I have eczema, cura has eczema.

SPEAKER_01 42:17

I think it's because I'm so obsessed with you. My body doesn't know the difference. So when you get something, suddenly I have it.

SPEAKER_00 42:22

You have it too.

SPEAKER_01 42:23

Like never in my life have I had eczema, and then Emily's been dealing with it, unfortunately, recently. And then suddenly out of nowhere, I have eczema. I'm like, This would happen. But this is the price I pay for the best friendship ever. Oh I'm just kidding. I know it's not you. But I'm like, I'm like, what is going on? Is it the air and anticipation?

SPEAKER_00 42:42

Tell me about something. You're like, I have acne t now, or I have eczema t now. And I'm like, oh my God, that is so I'm like, did I give it to you? I'm like, no, I didn't, but like, oh yeah.

SPEAKER_01 42:50

I remember when I first told you that my dermatologist said that I had eczema because I didn't know what it was at first. You told me you're like, oh my god, I just Googled if eczema is contagious.

SPEAKER_00 43:01

Because I actually worry sometimes. I'm like, am I giving cura this stuff?

SPEAKER_01 43:04

I think we just share the same stressors and then it like manifests in our body for some reason. Oh, absolutely. So stress and skin problems don't they don't love each other.

SPEAKER_00 43:18

Yeah. So for you, how do you try to um establish healthy self-esteem in a position where you do have so much pressure placed on your looks? Oh, that's so tough. I know. Um really thought about that question.

SPEAKER_01 43:31

Yeah, I think it's um for me, I'm a very like habitual person. So I think I feel best when I'm in like a great place where I'm doing kind of the same routine every week, and that will make me feel more like stable in my own body too. So like recently, like I will go to Pilates twice a week, I will Try to like meal prep for at least a few days of the week. And I'm I'm in school every day, which is helpful too. Cause like that helps stop the thoughts of like, oh my god, like if I eat this or if I do this, like how's that gonna affect my body or how I look? So I think being in a great routine is helpful. That is good. And obviously being around supportive people who like love you unconditionally, who like will shoo away your negative thoughts, which is what I have in you, of course, and Spencer and like a couple other great friends who are always there for me. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 44:38

I feel like if you have like a good support system, what do you do?

SPEAKER_01 44:40

Give me some tricks. Me?

SPEAKER_00 44:42

I feel like okay, I literally talk about this a lot with my clients, and I literally said this to you the other day when you're having a little bit of a mental breakdown, which we have sometimes a little mentivy. Um, but I feel like this is something I learned in my masters, and it's something I talk to my clients about, and I really try to remember myself, but like when my self-esteem isn't doing well, that means that I'm putting too much value into certain areas of my life. So when my self-esteem is or like my value is placed so much on like my looks. If something small happens with my looks, say I have a new pimple, or um I get I'm bloated, or I I gain a bit of weight, um my whole perception of who I am just comes crumbling down. And so placing equal value into different areas of my life, I think really helps me like be stable. So when things do come up, I do get a pimple or I I'm bloated, or my hair's dry. I unfortunately I have chronically dry hair. I don't I don't know what it is. Um it doesn't make me completely change my perception of myself. So I try to put equal value into like um myself and like some qualities I really like about myself, like my role as a therapist, my role as like a girlfriend, as like um a friend, as like a daughter, as a sister. Um into even just like this podcast, I feel like has been really good for me because I think it it gives me a sense of purpose and I put a lot of value into it because I feel like it's I it just feels good doing it. But I think all of those things like really help me like kind of maintain like a healthy self-esteem. But it's hard. Like I think I just started doing that like maybe like six months ago, even though I've like known about this like concept for a while. It's taking me a while to like actually practice it.

SPEAKER_01 46:20

It's crazy like how big of a difference it makes, though, when you start including things in your life that fulfill you in other ways. I feel like that was me literally around two years ago today was when I was feeling so unfulfilled. All I really did was work at AMPM, which I I love and I loved back then too. But during the weekdays, I just kind of felt like, what the hell am I doing with my life? I can't be a bottle server forever. I felt so unfulfilled and I put so much value just into bottle service that I just wasn't feeling good about myself. So then that's when I started looking for different like school programs to go back to. That's good, and it's made such a huge difference in my life.

SPEAKER_00 46:59

I think it has.

SPEAKER_01 47:00

It's literally like the best thing I've done for myself.

SPEAKER_00 47:03

Your sense of like purpose and direction.

SPEAKER_01 47:06

Yeah, and I really missed learning, even though I have like so much school trauma from when I was younger. I do love learning and I love being in that environment where you're pushed to try different things, try new things.

SPEAKER_00 47:19

Yeah, because I think bottle service is amazing. Honestly, it is a blessing, I must say. Like it's one of the only industries I feel like you can just or one of the only positions you can do where you work once a week and you make rent or like half of your rent and like just one shift. But there is like a lot of like what's the word, monotony? Like it's just it's it's kind of the same thing every single time, right? It's not necessarily intellectually stimulating. You're not necessarily learning anything, it's fun most of the time. It's actually brain rotten. It's actually brain, yeah, it actually rots your brain.

SPEAKER_01 47:51

You just like have fucking what is it, like 115 decibel music blasting in your ear. I swear it's gonna give us Alzheimer's. I think there's a study on that somewhere.

SPEAKER_00 48:02

There's a study on it, yeah. Yeah, unfortunately.

SPEAKER_01 48:04

Unfortunately, sadly. So it's literally rotting our brains in some ways. Exactly. Exactly. Unfortunately.

SPEAKER_00 48:10

But I think that like having something outside of that is really important. And I think most of the girls that we work with too, like, they have some kind of job or like external like interests that they're like passionate about, which is really beautiful to see. And I think a lot of people, like just outside of the girls that we work with, like I think a lot of bottle service girls like have that. Like they have like a day job and then do bottle service at night. Yeah, like there's very few girls I know that just do bottle service.

SPEAKER_01 48:34

Yeah, because it's not sustainable unless you're like um like an influencer or something. Yeah, we don't really know many of those.

SPEAKER_00 48:40

I always say, like, I'm like, I'm not gonna be 30 doing bottle service. However, no judgment to anyone who is 30 doing bottle service or older. You have to do what you have to do sometimes. Like, actually, no judgment. But for myself and like my own mental health, I'm like, I need to like be out of this industry by 30 is like the absolute max, even though I keep saying I'm gonna like leave within the year, yeah. Ideally, yes, but 30 is the max. You get kind of like addicted, I feel like, to the money that comes with bottle service as well, like how fast and easy it is.

SPEAKER_01 49:09

Well, I think everyone should use bottle service or service industry in general as just a stepping stone. Even if you want to stay in the service industry, use that as a stepping stone to okay, what's the next step? For example, like Kem and Ben, they used being bartenders to become business owners. You have there has to be something further afterwards.

SPEAKER_00 49:26

I feel like you and I like we've used bottle service to save. Like, I feel like we both saved like quite a lot. Like we have like pretty hefty TFSAs guys. Yeah, mine's not as hefty as yours, but hefty, somewhat hefty, somewhat hefty. But I feel like that's like when I mean, like, that's how you should do it. You should like be saving.

SPEAKER_01 49:43

Yes, yeah. Make it responsible financial decisions. We're so boring now. I know. But it's crazy, like that that's like the best part about bottle service, other than the community and everything, like, is the financial independence and security. It's the best.

SPEAKER_00 49:58

Like, you kind of guarantee, like, you kind of know exactly like what you're making, like, every single week. Yeah. What is the craziest story? What's the craziest thing that's ever happened to you while you were serving? Maybe not the craziest, but an important Steve's loving.

SPEAKER_01 50:12

Steve's excited. What's the craziest? Oh no. Okay, this is like the worst thing to say, but it's like just what immediately came up in my mind because it was so recent, too. I just got projectile vomited on not long ago. It's not a sexy story, unfortunately. No, um, that was traumatizing because I mean, I think this is so not a cute subject. We deal with vomit like in the club all the time.

SPEAKER_00 50:38

People are puking in the ice bucket on themselves.

SPEAKER_01 50:41

But usually everywhere, it doesn't projectile onto you. That was my first time in all the years at AMPM that's happened. I literally like immediately just middle of the floor. I was screaming and just like immediately went to the back where the ditch pit was. Screaming. I was like, I called Spencer. I almost started crying. I was like, what do I do? Do I leave? Like, this is so gross. And I cleaned myself up and I stayed. Yeah. You're so brave. I'm dedicated. Thankfully, it wasn't in my hair. That would have really sunned me. It was kind of this is so gross. It was literally like kind of down the front of me, and I cleaned it up and that would happen.

SPEAKER_00 51:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 51:18

That yeah, it would happen on the one good night.

SPEAKER_00 51:21

But yeah, that was really unfortunate. I'm glad I toughed it out. It's okay.

SPEAKER_01 51:24

But what's like a more silly story? I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 51:27

I don't know. I've seen like I've literally seen people get like fingered at the booth.

SPEAKER_01 51:31

Oh, yeah. I've seen like so many like crazy people making babies in AMPM.

SPEAKER_00 51:36

Yeah, like people just like like literally, and this is I feel like pretty common now, but like just shirts off, like just guys, especially like like big sweaty guys everywhere. I'm trying to think of a specific one. The craziest, I think the craziest night we've ever had there though. I don't know if this is like crazy, like ah, crazy silly, but like best night ever. Like, I think was when our friends came from LA and they got 17 classes wools. That was so much fun. That was a fun night. Both times they came twice. And they came twice. Yeah. I think the first time.

SPEAKER_01 52:06

The first time was my favorite.

SPEAKER_00 52:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 52:09

It was so silly. It was literally just like two of them, and they just went crazy.

SPEAKER_00 52:13

Yeah, they got so many classes walls, and then like got one for each table in like the club. And that's very rare, I feel like, to for someone to do in Toronto. Like, I feel like Toronto's like nothing. That might happen in like Vegas or LA or like the AMPM Oprah.

SPEAKER_01 52:25

They're like, you get an Azul, you get an Azul.

SPEAKER_00 52:28

That's my favorite.

SPEAKER_01 52:29

And we're like, I know, and we're not just money though, because these are also like good friends of ours, and it was just so much fun having them and showing them like the club we work at. Yeah, I got so we both did, I think we all did. We all did. We had to.

SPEAKER_00 52:42

Yeah, we need them to come back. We need them to come back. Yeah. Okay. My very last question for you is what coping mechanisms do you use to decompress from nightlife?

SPEAKER_01 52:52

Well, I think something that's like really important for my routine when I get home from AMPM, because I feel like everyone has this feeling when they get home from working a night at the club, is like that crazy adrenaline. It's hard to like decompress and like start to unwind and go to sleep. And this is gonna sound so corny, but like Spencer is literally like the thing that's like saved me, saved my sleep schedule, especially. Cause I feel like in the past I'd come home and I'd like doom scroll or like put on a show, then watch a show for an hour, then I'd be awake till like 6 a.m. And then your sleep schedule is just fucked for the rest of the week. Yeah, but now it's like coming home to like a comfort person, and like he's already asleep. He's already asleep. I don't want to like bother him, so I'm not gonna put TikTok on. So it kind of forces me to like unwind really quickly.

SPEAKER_00 53:37

Oh, that's nice.

SPEAKER_01 53:38

And I think that's like really helped me, especially since I have to wake up early during the week for school. Yeah, I can't really have crazy late weekends.

SPEAKER_00 53:46

Yeah, because I feel like you have like a really good sleep schedule, like you're not too affected by like going to sleep late. Like once a week. I try to, yeah. I feel like you reset really quickly.

SPEAKER_01 53:54

Yeah, I feel like it all boils down to like that same thing I was saying with like having a good regiment routine. Like I thrive off routine.

SPEAKER_00 54:02

I love it. I wonder, there's there might be a reason for that. It was ADHD thrive off of routines. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 54:08

I mean, I used to have an ADHD diagnosis in high school.

SPEAKER_00 54:11

So you probably still have it then.

SPEAKER_01 54:13

Yeah, get me on that disability check. I want that shit. That's what I'm on. I need to work on that disability check. No, I know. You told me about it, and I was like, fuck, I need to get on that.

SPEAKER_00 54:20

My doctor's like, you're not disabled, but okay. I'll fill out when you're not.

SPEAKER_01 54:23

But ADHD is disability.

SPEAKER_00 54:25

Is considered, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 54:27

Yeah, and as I I used to tell people you were on the spectrum before I knew you well, because I everyone told me you were like crazy. Well, I think people told me you had a writing impediment, but they kind of phrased it as like you're autistic.

SPEAKER_00 54:38

So I thought for the mom when she thought you're autistic. My mom, when she tells people about me, she does this like crazy impression. Like she makes me sound I I wish I could do it, I can't do it. I think it'd be kind of offensive. Um, she does like this crazy impression of me, and and people think that I'm literally on the spectrum, which is I kind of feel like we are a little bit. No shame to that. Um, no shame about that, but yeah.

SPEAKER_01 54:59

Well, apparently, people on the spectrum like secretly find each other. So it makes sense that we'd both be on the spectrum.

SPEAKER_00 55:05

That would make sense.

SPEAKER_01 55:06

I feel like we should tell like a lost and found story.

SPEAKER_00 55:09

Oh, I think one of my favorite lost and found stories was when I was in the booth with ASAP Virg and I had no idea who ASAP Virg was. And I kept taking videos of him, and like I remember there's like a sign, I have a video of it. Maybe I'll make a reel about it one day. And I was taking a video of the sign and to taking it of like, yeah, like the sign and then panning it to like ASAP Virg. And I kept saying, I was like, who the fuck is this guy? And I kept poking, I kept poking his belly. I was, yeah, like I was just being insane, had no idea who he was, and like thought like was like a made-up celebrity or something like that. Like didn't realize it was like a real person, and then looking back at that years later, I'm like, oh my god, that's really ASAP Virg. I was poking his belly. I was I'm like standing right beside him. Please send me these photos. Attach the videos in this place. I was with my friend Amy. Oh, I love Amy. Yeah, I love Amy. Okay, what's your silliest story? I lost my phone.

SPEAKER_01 56:03

Oh my gosh, now I can't tell you. I lost a phone. I know it's hard to do that. I lost and found. There was such like a golden era for Lost and Found. Yeah. So many celebrities rolled through. Yeah, every Lost and Found Monday. It was always crazy.

SPEAKER_00 56:14

Thursday, Friday, Saturday, some Sundays.

SPEAKER_01 56:16

Yeah. Oh, um fuck. What's that producer's name who's really famous? Yeah, Lost and Found every fucking weekend. Maybe not every weekend, almost all the time. And he had this weird thing where he would bring the troll foot gummies, like those blue foot gummies.

SPEAKER_00 56:38

Oh, that's random.

SPEAKER_01 56:39

He would bring a bag of those and like give them to the girls he wanted to hook up with and stuff. Never me, thank God. Not into that. But I remember I had like a few friends who would like have those gummies, and I'd be like, oh my god, that's crazy. You're fucking wow. I did not know that. That's not even something you can put in the podcast, I don't think. Well, well we'll bleep the name. I just want to say thank you so much for having me.

SPEAKER_00 57:03

And can we touch toes?

SPEAKER_01 57:05

Yeah, I don't want to cry, but I cry everything. We cry everything.

SPEAKER_00 57:09

Once Kira cries, I start crying.

SPEAKER_01 57:10

I'm so proud of you.

SPEAKER_00 57:12

Thank you.

SPEAKER_01 57:13

And oh my god, I'm actually gonna cry. I'm gonna tear up. I've been hearing you talk about wanting to do a podcast for so long and seeing you actually do it. It brings me so much joy. I don't know why. I can't I can't help it. But I just love you so much. I love you too. And I've loved listening to every episode. I'm so grateful that I get to be a part of it. No, I'm so proud of you.

SPEAKER_00 57:35

Aw, I love you. Anyway, can we touch toes again? Yeah. Love you. You were the my my one of my most requested guests. People are like, I want to hear you and Kira talk. Like, I want to hear Kira on the podcast. It's true. It's true. You were number one in Cam was number two. Yeah. As you should. Yeah, number two. Number two. I appreciate that. Honestly, I feel like it's something I've been wanting to do for a couple of years now. And it's it took me up until like last year to finally have like the balls to do it. Like, I not even last year, like I think this year. I think I started in like January, to be honest. And it's so fun having like friends on and like people that I know on. And just like um, not necessarily like with you, obviously, like we're best friends, but like with other people, just like reconnecting over this has been so lovely with like Will and Mike and Aja, like the people I've known for so long, and it's just so nice to kind of catch up with them. I feel like it's really been such a positive thing for me, and I'm so happy you're part of it. I love you. I love I'm so happy. I love you. But I wanted to say thank you so much for your time today. Um, if you want to learn uh more about Kira, you can follow her on Instagram at KiraLoo. Right? Is that right? Okay, I'm just checking. If you want to hear more from me, you can follow me on Spotify at Club Therapy and on Instagram at Club Therapy Pod. Thank you so much for your your time today, Kira. I love you. Bye guys. We love you guys.