adhd, anxiety and being intentional with liz coren

In this episode I am joined by my Lizzie Lou (or Liz Coren to all the strangers out there)! Lizzie is truly a jack of all trades and has dabbled a bit in the service industry, but currently works in the film industry and is a stylist and dare I say the blueprint for hot girls in Toronto. Her and I chat about going out in Toronto, ADHD, borderline personality disorder, executive functioning skills, doing our taxes, hangxiety, having our non-verbal iPad kid time, our ideal night out and lots more : ) We hope you enjoy kiking with us! And don't be shy about subscribing ;)

 If you are experiencing a crisis please phone Crisis Services Canada at 1-833-456-4566, or text HOME to 686868 in Canada to text with a trained Crisis Responder.

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:01

You are now tuned into Club Therapy with Emily Chan.

SPEAKER_00 0:10

Welcome to Club Therapy. Welcome to Club Therapy. It's now the podcast. Yeah, and I have my girl Lizzie on here today. I'm really excited to be here. I'm so happy you're here. I hope you guys can hear us. Love you. But yeah, although my girl Lizzie isn't in the service industry, she isn't a stranger to going out. Um, her and I have had some crazy nights out together. And we wanted to get together and gossip and just share some of the things we've learned from like just being out in Toronto, like the Toronto scene for the last like eight years. So welcome back to Club Therapy. I missed you guys, and I hope you missed me. Um, today we have my close friend, Miss Lizzie Corinne here. She has a film background, she's an aspiring stylist, she's a former tattoo artist and one of my favorite people in the city. So I was really excited to have her on today because her and I love to talk. I probably call her slash, I think she calls me actually almost every day. Yeah, she do be calling me. She do be calling me. So it's kind of itchy to have her on the podcast, just to like kind of, you know, this is gonna be this is gonna be cute. I'm excited. I'm excited to yep with you. Well, how's your day going so far today? It's going so well. Amazing. I'm so excited to be here and talk to you. And talking about our clubbing, yeah. The people need to know because you've never worked in the service industry before, right? No, like you know what? I actually worked at Laval for like three weeks as a hostess. As a hostess, and I literally lasted three weeks and I quit. And I was like, this is it. I'm never coming back here. I'm never going back to Laval. Before that, I just worked like mainly retail. True. And then yeah, I can't believe you did Laval though for three weeks. Yeah, that's like a little that's some lore. Not many people know about that because it was such a hot second. I'm honored. Wait, what was so bad about it? I'm curious. What was bad? Yeah, I feel like it was just really chaotic. Like, I'm sure they're more organized now. Like, I don't really go there, so I don't know. But not our spot. Our out not our spot, not where we usually go. No. But I was always getting cut early because there'd be some kind of problem, and like the money wasn't making sense, and it just wasn't worth it. No, and I wasn't trying to like pursue anything in that world. So yeah, so you're just like, I gotta Yeah, I'm like, this is not for me. I'm proud of you. Thank you. That doesn't first you yes. So, what was the very first club? Do you remember like the very first time you like went out in Toronto? You know, it's so funny. It would have been door three when I turned door three when I turned 19. Wow. I went there and I blacked out and I left my phone there. And the next day I had to like bang on the door and be like, my phone's here. I found it in the booth, like between two cushions, and thank God. Yes, never went back, never went back. I have a bad door three story too. I feel like everybody has a bad door three story. Is it even still there? No, they just closed recently. I actually used to love door three. Like I used to be an avid door three goer. I've gone roof, I've only gone roofie twice in my life, and both times for door three. Okay, yeah, within the weeks apart. Yeah. Casually roofied. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. So I think the first time I went, literally the first time I went, I went with like a bunch of people from first year. And we have a friend, this guy named John White, that owned. I think he, I don't know if he's always an owner of Door Three, but he was like always like affiliated with it. Do you know John White? I think so. I feel like you would know him. I feel like we're all going out around the same time, you know. That's why I'm so shocked we never ran into each other earlier around. Like I know we were in the same booth at some point in our life. It's a tragedy. It's a tragedy. We could have for the best. It's probably for the best. I fear we would have been way, we would have been insane together. I feel like when we were both like peak party area, like meeting. Because I feel like we met each other when we were kind of both calming down a little bit. For sure. Like I feel like now on average, like you and I like don't go as much as we used to. No, I feel like I've had a crazy past couple weeks going out, but I feel like that's very rare for you. It's so rare for me. Even last year, I feel like you barely went out. Yeah, no. She was inside last year. Now we're like reintroducing it, you know, and like finding that balance. Working on moderation. Yes. Yeah. But on it, it's so fun. It's so fun just to have your like little silly goofy nice. It's nice. And honestly, I think I think it's kind of cathartic. Like it feels kind of healing sometimes. It is because I'm like, now I'm doing the same things I would have done when I was younger now. And it's just come. We're intentional, you know. More intentional. Well, just not buying, you know, being intentional about going and getting fucked up and having a crazy night. You know, you're going in. You're going in with the mindset of like, this is what I'm doing. But you're gonna get your home self-like home safety and everything. Safety first, safety first, safety first, guys. Dude, I was not safety first that night. That first night at door three that I went. Oh my god, I literally walked in. I went and I went up to the bar, and some guy had a bottle at the bar and he's like, Do you want a drink? And literally within like 10 minutes, I was on the floor. And then I went again. Three weeks later got roofied again, had to get carried out. And I know I was roofy too because I only had like, I think I didn't pre either of those nights. And I had like one or two drinks while I was there within like an hour, and I was like, That's would just and like woke up in the hospital so bad. I honestly somehow have never been roofied fast. Like, yeah, not to my knowledge at least. So not that we know of, but we'll leave it at that. We'll leave it at that. Never been roofied. Thank God, and never will, and never will, never will, and that's yeah, and that's not getting roofied. And that's not getting you know, I think Dora Three actually might have been one of my first clubs as well. That's crazy. And I used to like go to like, do you remember ballet? Yeah, I used to love see that's what I'm saying. I don't know how like Wallen, Wallen, or like you still live at Wallin's. Wasn't it like cure, cube, whatever? Cube, like all the time. Like where Saluna was, or see where Saluna is, right? No, no, no. This was fuck, I forget where this was. I think there's a cure and a cube. Like, I think there's Wallen was the spot though. I used to go to Wallen a lot. I used to love Wallen, but it got really violent there. Do you remember that? What do you like? You got violent? No, like people would get violent. I feel not me. I get really drunk. I went to Violet and you're like, no, like it would be so crazy. Like, I remember just like there's just like a lot of big dudes there, and there used to be fights all the time. Yeah, that was crazy. And it was like beside apartments, so it'd just be like dangerous. Also, we love regular. I was a regular, I fear. And I fear we still maybe every now and then, but now it's like for the plot. We do like a celebrity appearance. Yeah, and we're like, this is fun, it's good vibes, like it's never not fun. I feel like it's chill. If you want, you can like go to the DJ booth, you can rage a little bit. If you want, you can just sit in the back and play pool. Yeah. If you want, you can just like hang out. Like, and I feel like now I just prefer to go to places where I know people.

unknown 6:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 6:34

Like, I'm not really trying to go out to play. Like last week I did go to FYE, and that was insane. Did you love? It was like fun just because you're like, it's so rare. It's like a random side quest. Because it's like that new club that's like a 4am, right? Like it's like it's at the Grand Bazaar, it's huge. And there's like strippers there. Love the strippers. Love. But and they had like celebrity, I don't know, some like famous DJ there. And it was fun. Like sometimes it's fun just to do some random shit like that. Would you say, is that your favorite? Maybe not your favorite club right now. What is your favorite club right now? Would you say or what what would you say it is? What would you say it is? We were talking about this before. We and Emily have like this running joke because I will literally call her the next day and be like, guess where I was last night? And she knows. And it's it's six denison. And six denison. If you guys know six denison, you know. You know, you know. Unfortunately, I am. And you know it's funny, haven't been to either. I know never been to either. I fear we'll never get you at six denison. I think one time, I think though I have to have like a really late start to the night because I famously will like leave you are an early yeah, you do, you do leave. Yeah, like I can, I think my my span of like going out is like I can only do a couple of hours. Like, I think like four hours max. But I love I honestly wish I had that quality because I'm the opposite. It's a good and a bad thing. Where like I just want to keep the vibes going. Like that is like to my own detriment. I'm like, let's keep going, let's keep going. And then you wake up at 610. Like, and yeah, I wake up at 610. And you're like, oh, I should have. And I'm like, fuck, how'd I get here? How do I get here again? And you know what? That's not the worst thing ever. No, it's not. And it's still, it's still fun vibes, so it's okay. We're good. Yeah, we're good, but maybe no six denison for a bit. No, we need to stop that. We need to stop that. And you probably know I guess I'm just going where those strippers are going at this point. You're just fine like following them around. Yeah. You know? Yeah. Well, I want to ask you a little bit, like, you know, because we were kind of talking about like Lizzie and I, I love Lizzie so much because I just feel so comfortable and safe with her. But I just feel so comfortable talking about mental health with you. I feel you have such a good perspective on like mental health. Like you've obviously dealt with your own issues and stuff before. I mean, who hasn't? Although I feel like yours are more unique than most. Yeah. Dare I say? Dare I say? Do you feel like like comfortable like kind of talking about your mental health a little bit? Like, does going out like make your mental health worse? Does it make it better? What do you think? Because I think there's honestly pros and cons to going out. I feel like honestly, too, like I'm so transparent about my mental health just because I think it's so important to like open up more conversations. That's why like I love that you're doing this podcast because I think it's so important to like normalize talking about these things and like take away the stigma of it. Period. But no, I've always dealt with like mental health stuff, even when I was in like high school and I didn't really understand what was going on. And then when I was 19, I was like going through a really hard time and I got a diagnosis of borderline personality disorder. And that was pretty life-changing. It kind of just put a name to what I was feeling and made me feel like I wasn't alone in it. And then the things I didn't really like, I was 19, I wasn't really ready to accept it and like take it on. I feel like the choices I was making at that time still didn't really align with being healthy and having BPD. But to be fair, 19. 19, you know, and like I just didn't want to accept what I was just trying to like run away from it. And you know, I think a big part of my mental health was like lack of impulse control and going out and having that is really challenging.

SPEAKER_01 10:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 10:10

And I think in the past like three years, I've been able to really get a hold on it. And just again, like being intentional and being aware of like, okay, like this is how many shots you've had, or this is how many drinks you've had. And yeah, I think I feel like you're like working on impulse control. 100%. Yeah. And I think, especially now, like I used to smoke a lot of weed, and now I barely do. And recently, like my therapist loves her. Like, honestly, my best friend. I I actually think we're friends until she sends me the invoice. Have you seen that TikTok? Did I send you that one? It's like me like listening to my therapist, like giggling with the girl before me. You're like, and you're like all jealous and stuff when someone tells me about her other clients. I'm like, you're jealous. Like, can you actually not talk to me about I love a female therapist? I mean, I love all therapists, but you know. I actually told Emily too, my therapist reminds me a lot of you. And I'm so honored why I'm like so locked in with her. I'm like, I'm so locked in. No, but I think taking therapy really seriously and actually locking in on that was so game-changing. And like now we're kind of opening up more conversations about me having ADHD. And I think anybody who like really knows me knows that I probably do. And a lot of the symptoms of like borderline overlap with ADHD. So do you think you might have like ADHD instead of borderline? Is that kind of honestly like right now? I feel like it's mainly just I actually genuinely think it's just ADHD. And really this is actually a crazy fact that I learned recently that a lot of women get misdiagnosed with personality disorders and anxiety disorders. And it's actually ADHD. And because I think women are so good at like we're so good at masking how we feel, and we're more what's the word? We're more conditioned to be social and not make a fuss of things and be more domestic. And so usually when they're 30s hit a burnout, and it's because they're just exhausted from masking it for so long. I have like no idea. Yeah, because it shows up so differently in women than it does in men. And I think absolutely it's so important that we know that. I think the picture, like the the image people have of ADHD is like slowly changing. Because I think beforehand it used to be like, okay, like like a bad kid in class that wasn't doing well, can focus, like running around, you're like, that kid has something, probably ADHD. You know, whereas that's what I thought it was. And it's only recently like learning about hypersensitivity. A lot of people with AHD have also like lack of impulse control, intense emotions. And that's a lot of the things that I was experiencing with BPD. But like my brain just goes so fast. And I think that's with ADHD. I'm like, oh, I get that. You're like, that makes sense. I see that for myself. Yeah, because ADHD is like it's such a spectrum, right? And like it's so different for every single person. It kind of presents like there's some general like things that you know you used to like diagnose ADHD, of course, but like it really like every single person has such a different experience with it. And actually, I talk about this a lot with my clients. But there's 11 different executive functioning skills that we have. So that's like our like cognitive thinking skills, you know? So that's like planning and prioritizing, like time management, like emotional control, like routine too, right? Yeah, like task initiation. Routine kind of goes under like like organization and like planning and stuff like that. But like having those like routines, like that's so important. But you can like struggle with these executive functioning skills and not have ADHD. But if you struggle with these executive functioning skills like significantly, that normally, you know, suggests like an ADHD diagnosis, you know, because you can meet someone who's like kind of not the best at time management, but doesn't have ADHD. Yeah. You know, but if you struggle with like these executive functioning skills, even just one of them, like very significantly to the point it's affecting like your relationships, like school, work, stuff like that. That's kind of like where the red flag is. Yeah. But it's so interesting because no one really people just like didn't really know that beforehand, you know. It's like, you know, it's I'm so happy that it's becoming more normalized and like people are understanding more about it. Cause it's like, yeah, I struggled so much in school too, and just paying attention. And I was just like, I don't know, I guess I just can't do it. But now I'm like, and then you also start to think though, too, you're like, am I dumb? Like, I remember thinking that in high school when I was like before I got my ADHD diagnosis, I was like, I think I'm dumb. Yeah. But you just have you're not dumb, you're just like neurodivergent in like a neurotypical environment. Yeah, and like you, you know, you're like you're constantly comparing yourself to other people. And I was just like, why can't I learn the same way as these people? And I think now we're understanding that everyone learns differently. Like, I'm such a hands-on visual person. If you give me something like that, I can really I get it. But if you're just talking to me about something I also don't really care about, babe, it's woo. Like it's like it's going over. I'm literally like, I heard nothing. Like, not competitive. We had to do our taxes recently, me and this girl. And let me tell you, shout out Emily for helping me do my taxes this year. I couldn't have done it without her. But you know, someone literally showed me how to do it. Like, I think the same way I helped you is like how I learned how to do my taxes. Like, it was kind of like more hands-on. I had someone like guiding me, like giving me examples of like what their expense she looked like. If I didn't have that, I actually don't know if I'd be like, I probably could. Yeah, I probably could have had a gun to my head, you know, but it would have taken me like so much longer. Yeah, you know, it would have been like it would have been really tough. No, yeah, it can be scary. The stuff is scary, but stuff is scary. You made it not so scary. So I'm glad. This is the kind of stuff though. I wish they talked talked about like in school, you know, like that's what I was doing your taxes. I'm like, did I miss the class where everyone talked about this? Because everyone seems to know how to do this. Supposed to like know how to do it. Yeah, unfortunately. What happens when you go out in a bad head space? What happens? Because I know you and I have both gone out in bad head spaces before. A thousand percent. 100%. I mean you talk a lot about our anxiety. I think we actually I have a feeling we both have anxiety, well, I I know I have anxiety in AD. I 100% have anxiety, 100% she has anxiety, likely 98% ADHD. 90% ADHD. 98%. Well, anxiety would fall under ADHD as well, right? Yeah, they're kind of like, they're kind of like comorbid. Like I feel like they normally kind of go hand in hand. Yeah. You know, because a lot of people, like they'll come to me and they think that they have anxiety, and then it's like they actually just have anxiety about like not being able to like get things done and like, you know, perform like kind of like basic, I'm putting this in quotations, like basic like daily tasks and stuff like that. Yeah, they kind of they really do go hand in hand, you know. There's a lot of similarities between the two. But do you like what happens? What happens when you go in a bad headspace? Honestly, I feel like now more than ever, again, like I'm just very aware of how I'm feeling and like why I'm going out, why I want to do this. It can go either way. If I go out in a bad headspace, like even like a couple months ago, I was having like a really bad night, and I was just like sad. And my friend invited me out, and I called my girl and I'm like, okay, like should we go? Like, I'm she saw me, I'm like crying, I'm upset, and she's like, no, she's like, you know what, we're gonna go out, we're gonna go have fun. And like my night completely turned. I end up having an amazing night. Okay, so it's like a good night. Yeah, and like sometimes it helps, and it does sometimes really help, but there's also the opposite, right? Where you go out and it's like, am I trying to escape how I'm feeling? And I think escapism and partying and it They go hand in hand, date. It's a recipe for disaster, and I think I did that for so long. And that's like you use partying to like kind of escape like how you're feeling, like, you know, being outside with people, loud music, you want that dopamine hit, like for sure. It that's why it's just yeah, you have to be a lot more intentional with it.

unknown 17:40

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 17:40

I'm like, if this was a drinking game, let's do a shot every time I say intentional. No, but I love intentional. It's a good it's a good word because that's honestly the word of the year. It is the word of the year. I think that's our yeah. Because we've taught you and I have both, like, you know, I feel like have had, of course, some like terrible nights out. And I feel like it comes from like not being intentional with like our drinking and like kind of like what we want our night to look like. Yeah, but I've had so many nights where I've gone out and I wake up the next morning and I'm like, wow, like I feel way better than I did. Like sometimes like going out can be healing, right? It's like a reset. It's like community, like you're around like your people, like you're like especially if I'm around like exactly my people and my girls. I'm just like now I'm like feel recharged, yeah. Yeah, because I feel like you and I are like introverted extroverts, right? Is that the word? Or I was literally gonna say that. Which one is it? Like we we love being around people, but we do love our alone time. But I feel like we get energy from being around people. But what's the difference between an extroverted introvert or an introverted extrovert? No, because it's like honestly, I I do get drained being around people who I feel like I have to like force conversation with or like really go outside of my comfort. But it can be exhausting, it can be so tiring. Like, especially if I'm on set or something, I'm like, I'm drained because I'm just like that was and you also have to be like when you're on set, you have to talk all day as well. All day, like to be really turned on, which like I can do, but then I get home and I'm like, oh my god, like I'm like unzipped. I need to like to recharge for a bit. But yeah, that's why it's like a balance. Like, I I love to go out, I love to socialize, but then I also like I love my alone in your alone time. I love my little reality TV. I love being alone sometimes. I'm like, that's actually I feel like one of the things that I do. Like last week I went out, I was out like kind of like every night. You and I we went courtside to the Raptors game. We went courtside last Wednesday, and then Thursday, I we also went for dinner, and then I think I worked that we both worked that night. Yeah. And then on Friday, didn't go out. Thank God. Saturday, what did I do? I think I I oh, I went to that. Can I bring a friend? Oh, yeah thing, and then I worked on Sunday. And I on Monday, I was so burned. I was just like so sick of talking. Yeah, like Cameron was in bed, he's trying to talk to me, just like, hey, good morning. I was like, just stop. Yeah, you just can't do it right now. I just can't do it. Like I was like, I'm over it, you know? Like I just no, sometimes you just need to go non-verbal. Yeah, and non-verbal day on Monday. It's so important just to like channel your energy into yourself sometimes. And whatever you need, whatever you need to cope, like for me to recharge, like literally I'll go nonverbal, put on my real housewives, and like that's it. And that's it for like a whole day. For a whole like funny for me to do it for a full 24 hours. Yeah, that was me on Monday. Like, I needed a full 24 hours, like non-verbal, like no one talks to me. People kept messaging me as well, and I was like, you know what? You're like, no, no, yeah, yeah. Because I feel like with both of our jobs, right? Like when you're on set and stuff like that, like there was so much talking and like with therapy, it's like so much talking. And like I guess you would expect that with therapy, but you wouldn't even expect that like being on set, right? Like how much like how much like social energy that would probably take, right? That's like people from I love it. That's why that's a big reason why I love it. Cause you get to be around really cool people and like, yeah, I'm like exactly, and everyone's like doing their own thing, and like, but it's also really draining because you just have to be like switched on all the time, like ready, yeah, exactly. You're gonna network as well while you're there, you're networking. Networking. Do you think like has going out like ever led to like a creative opportunity? Has that happened for you yet? Not, you know, that's like a very live question. I feel like not really yet. I'm like, I'm thinking about the night where me and you yeah, we said we were gonna network one night. Okay, this was actually such a funny time. This is a good night. It was this production company's party, and I was like, you know what? Hell yeah, let's go, let's go do the damn thing. And we didn't meet anyone. No, babe. We literally went there, went to the DJ booth, drank, had waters, and then we just danced. And then I actually think we talked to two people. Yeah, like the DJ and including the DJ, your sister in law, and that's it. And that's it. And then we were like, Oh, and our friend Nate. Yeah, and then we went to then we went to Bowie. And then I figured we went to Bowie. It was a night. It was fun though. I had a night. You and you kept going. Yeah, I see. I she kept going. I kept going. I actually had to go home because I had to upload the podcast. So I think that kind of saved me that night. Podcast is keeping you. The podcast is keeping me because it it actually did stop me that night. Because I was like, I could have, you know. It's good though. It's just another responsibility, right? So it actually is good. I feel like it's actually really keeping me grounded. You know, I was having like a bit of a like the last couple of days, I was feeling kind of demotivated. I feel like I was on such a high last week, especially with my episode with Kira. It just got so much attention. It did so well. And I was just feeling so excited about it. And then I don't know, just like the last few days, like I feel like I'm like kind of coming down from like that high a little bit. And I'm just feeling like a little bit like unmotivated, you know, with it. And like I'm feeling like I kind of hit like a bit of a wall. Like after you, I was kind of thinking about like which guests to have on. And I have some great guests like lined up and stuff, but I was just kind of thinking about like where I saw this going. Cause right now it's expensive. Like it cost me like a significant amount to like produce each episode. And I'm happy to pay for it. Like it's like it is like right now just like a passion project. But sometimes I'm like, oh, like, you know, I'm on essence and I'm like, oh, like I could get I could get these heels, you know what I mean? But this is a podcast episode. Yeah. Yeah. Where I'm like, I could be Ubering, you know me, like I Uber everywhere. Like I've literally haven't touched, and this is a very privileged thing for me to say, but I haven't touched like the subway or the streetcar in like years because I've just been fortunate. I can just get where it scares me. No, it's I I took the subway the other day and it stopped. I was on line two. It stopped for a second. I was like, this is it. This is really the thing that's gonna get me. Recession, me on the subway, truly. Signs recession indicators. I said that the other day. I was like, this is a recession indicator, me on the subway. In the subway. Because I'm spending my money now on like this podcast, which I'm happy to do, but I feel like sometimes, you know, sometimes it's tough. I am trying to like network more, you know. So honestly, you're doing amazing. Like, you gotta give yourself some credit because this is hard. You're really putting yourself out there. Thanks. And I feel like so many people say they want to do things like this. And you're actually doing it. And that's huge. I'm so proud of you. I know you could do something like this. Actually, you are you are right now. You are up and coming with your styling. She's you guys see this outfit right now. She's a stylist through and through. No, but it's hard. It's it's you're so vulnerable when you put yourself out there in whatever capacity that means to you. That's why it's like even networking can be like, I feel like networking on a night out feels a little bit easier because like everyone's drinking and stuff like that. It's so easy to be like, hey, like, do you wanna like hey, like I'm I'm I'm doing this. Like, would you want to be a part of it? And like, I feel like people are a more inclined to say yes, and B, like, you know, it seems like it almost seems like more of like a an easier connection, you know, when you're like out drinking with people and like that's like how you're forming, you know, your connection. No, 100%. I I struggle with the networking thing. I I get like shy. I feel like naturally I am shy until you know me, but I find it hard to just go up to people and talk to them and try and be like, you should unique with me. Yeah, like you know, I'm actually styled. I'm I'm working on like my styling career. It's a muscle that you have to exercise because it does feel embarrassing, even though it's not, it feels embarrassing. It's yeah, like you're it's always gonna feel cringe, but you know what? Like, you just gotta do things scarce. I feel like cringe is in, you know, I feel cringy sometimes when I'm posting like reels and stuff like that. I'm like reposting my own reels on like my main account. I'm like, I'm gonna kill myself. But that's the thing, right? I don't see that. So that's only like it makes you realize how it's just you. Yeah, I just feel it. Yeah. I'm like, I I like I like switch accounts and I'm like reposting all my own stuff, and it's like I'm my only repost as well. I'm like, no, but or like I'm liking my own stuff too. I'm like, when you're at the point you want to be at, no one's gonna care. You know what I mean? That's true. That's true. Everyone has to start somewhere. Exactly. I have this like, I was talking about this with my sister the other day about like cringe culture, and I feel like so many people now, especially like the younger generation, you know. I feel like they really, even like my sister, I feel like can be kind of like she's like, I'll do something. She's like, ooh, you know, and I feel like it's just like there's like this cringe culture there, like no one wants to, people are scared to do things because like they're worried about like being judged, or like they're worried about like being cringy. Everybody wants to, you know, and like cool, or it's easy. And you know what? Like a lot of stuff isn't easy, and it takes a lot of work to get to where you want to be and what you want. And I think yeah, we have to normalize putting yourself out there and we have to be cringe, like who cares? Cringy, yeah, you know. Yeah, we're all a little cringe, you know, deep art, very deep, deep down, deep down. My little sister, God, I love her so much. She humbles me. She humbles me. Kate, Kate, our queen, our queen. She wants to come on the podcast one day. And I think we I think we have to have her on. I adore that girl. I told her I was like, You're gonna be the young ho perspective. She's like, She's like, What? She's like, What are you talking about? No, I love her. Yeah, she's young ho perspective. Iconic. Okay, so I want to ask you, what is your ideal night out start to finish? What would that look like? Okay, like, and like maybe like just actually like you. Like, what's your ideal just you? Like, what would your ideal night out be? Like the restaurant that you'd go to, the bars you'd go to, the area you'd be in, how the night would end. I feel like I'm not the most knowledgeable about that. I'm like, I'm someone of like a creature of habit. I like to go to places I've already been to places, yeah. That usually involves like I like to go to like a good dinner. I could be like Linny's, Lebanon, Osington. I love a good Osington place. Yes. Or like Gonzo, where we went last week. So good. Owner's a king. He's a king. He's a king. But yeah, like good eats for sure. And then maybe cute little like cocktail bar after. You go to like a bar, Bowie. Bowie. We love Bowie. Shout out to Amanda. We love Amanda. We love Amanda. And then honestly, and what's it called? You guys, I gotta go. It always I'm gonna go ironically. I'm gonna go ironically. No, I actually need you. I need to go. I think it'll be awkward as hell in there. No, I actually think I always get really awkward around dancers. I don't know what it is. I end up giving them money, so that's also my problem. Is I end up bringing them money. Because I'm like, oh you're like, here, here, enjoy it, take it, take it. Keep going, keep going. Yeah, oh, so yeah, cocktail lounge, get some nice drinks. That's I feel like that's when it's still cute. And then we're not messy yet. We're not messy yet. We're cute, we're classy. We're not always classy. We're getting some pictures. Yeah. This is when I feel like this is peak time to take pictures when you're like a little bit tipsy. Yes. And this is like just before you're gonna leave. Yeah. Like you're usually leave the cocktail lounge. You're gonna, you know, you will leave right. You'll leave at the cocktail. Oh, this is when I would leave. Yeah, oh, yeah, yeah. Like we'll go to the cocktail lounge, and then like when we're done there, that's when you're like, And I'm like, I have to get up earlier. You know, to be honest, sometimes I just say that. No, I know. Yeah, I think everyone knows. I think everyone knows, but I'm also like, I respect it. Yeah, I feel like I need to have an excuse to like leave because I feel like if I just say like I I just I'm ready to go now, it just seems like kind of embarrassing. Even though it's not, I need to kind of get better with just being a bit more honest about that. But yeah, I'll be like, Oh, I have to get up in the morning. Sometimes I do, sometimes I don't. Yeah, I love an Irish exit person. I love an Irish exit too, but that is when I will leave. Yeah. If we were out together on this night, yeah, I'd be gone. You'd be early gone at that point. I'd be at home. And then I feel like after that, I'm usually a little tipsy. And I just like I want to listen to music, I want to dance, I want to like be around good vibes. Good vibes. Yeah. Sometimes that means apartment 200. Depends on who's DJing. Yes. Sometimes it means Honestly, like I can stay at Bowie though, because Bowie is Yeah, it gets so fun, right? Or it's it stays fun, but I feel like it like it gets like like the vibe is Yeah, it picks up. It's like, you know, it's a good time. So have like a DJ and stuff, come on at like 11. And it's so like cozy and fun, and like I feel like you're always gonna run into people you know. But yeah, and then usually like summer with music, wherever that may be. Or like if somebody messages me and they're like, Oh, I'm here, I'm like, okay, I'll go there. And then and then after and then I fear in after hours, and then I fear six denison out of here, and then catch me at after. And then and then I go home. So what time do you normally get home at on like an average night out? I guess it varies, I feel like, for you. It does vary. Like, because you're not always like no, I'm also kind of like it's zero to 100. So yeah, yeah, it just depends. It really depends. But again, like I've just started kind of reintroducing drinking and going out. So I feel like I'm still finding my rhythm with it. Absolutely. Because I feel like last year you didn't really drink. Yeah, like last year I did a whole five months, no drinking. See, that would kill me. I I should do it though. I should do it. That would kill me. That would kill me. Five months sober at 8 MPM. That would be. I mean, I wouldn't like working at a nightclub. I would really struggle not drinking. It's honestly really hard. Yeah, yeah. I did something I'm trying to work on, and I I think it's so amazing that you did five months sober, to be honest. Like, I was so impressed by that. Yeah, it was honestly, it was I was experiencing experiencing such severe anxiety, and I get the worst anxiety out of your talking about this. Yes, like I will call and we'll literally be anxious and we're like and we're just like debriefing and we're just like we're just like on the phone just to like both talking about our anxiety. Yeah, exactly. But it feels so much better after always. Like I'm like, I I'll like go to sleep, like right back to sleep right after. Yeah, you know? I'm like, oh my god, so it's healing. It's healing. Yeah, it is. And but yeah, my anxiety was getting so bad after I was drinking that I was like, okay, I there's some things I don't have control over, but I do have control over this aspect where I'm like, I know if I drink, I'm gonna be anxious the next day. So how about we just like fuck around and see what happens when we stop drinking and just not drink for a little bit? Yeah, and honestly, it was so game-changing, you know. Also going out, I would go out not drink and learning that I can go out and have fun and not drink. It's huge. And nature. Yeah, so it taught me a lot, and then that's why now I'm kind of reintroducing the alcohol and finding that balance. I think it's really easy when you get sober and start drinking again to feel like it's a bad thing or it's like unhealthy. But you know, it's just moderation. Just moderation. Yeah, just moderation. I think it's like it's really like whatever like works best for you, right? Like if you're feeling like your mental health is in a place again where your anxiety isn't like debilitating and you're like, I want to be drinking again, you know, not like I have to be. So actually kind of leads me to my next question. I was gonna ask Do you feel pressured to drink on a night out, on an average night out? I definitely used to, but now I'm so comfortable saying no. You can just say no. But I also love a good vibe. And like if the vibes are up, I'm like, give me a drink. No, I'm like, give me a shot. What's one shot? What's three shots? For sure. What's what's 10? Blackout. No, but like I do, it's like if the vibe is right, I'm like, okay, let's do it. But I don't think it's so much pressure now. Yeah. Because I think a lot of people I'm I still feel will feel pressured, I think, in specific environments. Oh my god, especially at AMP. If someone's like a table's like begging me to drink, I'm like, I especially when there's like fear money on the line as well, right? Because it's like if you're drinking with them, then they're gonna want to buy another bottle. Then you're keeping the vibes going. So that's hard. Exactly. And then even sometimes like I feel like actually lately the people I've been hanging out with are kind of more on like a sober vibe. Like, even like on Monday, I went for dinner with like all the AMPM girls, and we're all like completely sober the whole night. Like we all like just didn't I know, which is like I think about us last year, and I feel like we would have been like, we would have, I fear, ended up at lost and found last year if you know what I mean, if we were drinking, unlike a Monday, absolutely lost and found, without a doubt. Yeah. But I think it's just like it just like kind of changed a little bit. I feel like the people I'm hanging out with more are also kind of down to like not drink as often, you know. But I I do feel, I think if everyone is drinking, I do feel pressure to drink. Yeah. And I'll sometimes drink even when I am feeling anxious. And that's something like that I'm trying to work on. I think I can do it at work. If I feel anxious and I'm at my like I'm at work, like I won't drink because I know that I'm just gonna feel worse like the next day, you know. But on a night out, I think I still will get pressure to drink, which I fear isn't the best. And no, you know what? Now that I'm thinking about it, I am like, I'm like, you know, actually scratch everything. No, like I am the queen of like, I'm not drinking tonight, guys. But then again, it's like the vibes are. If the vibes are good though, the vibes are good. Yeah, and then I'm like gonna have a drink. And then I'm like, okay, and then I'm going out, and then I'm having, but it's like it's not so much the pressure, it's not people being like, you need to drink, or I'm like, I need to drink to have fun. It's more like I also love a good cocktail. And once I start with one cocktail, it's it's a slippery slope. Would you say your relationship with alcohol then's like good overall? I think it's been like a journey. Love, hate, love, hate, but I don't know. Like, I do, I like I feel like anybody who knows me has always said, like, I don't really work well with alcohol. But I think now more than ever I'm able to balance the idea of just like having a drink or two drinks, and then maybe that's okay now. Like we're good now. It's it's a process. And I feel like afterwards you aren't having like as like your anxiety isn't that isn't as bad as it used to be. And I feel like your like mood and everything is like of course, like I'm sure there's moments like same for me, you know, but not as bad. Like I did a month sober last year, actually. After I had a really bad panic attack, and normally I will like every time I have a panic attack, I do like a month sometimes longer sober. That's kind of like my max, though. I get to a point I'm like, okay, I kind of miss it. I kind of miss it. Yeah, fair on it. But I think there is like a big, like there's well, not I think I know there's such a huge correlation between like anxiety and alcohol and stuff like that. And I do feel like sometimes like if you're having really severe anxiety, anxiety after a night out, that is like your body kind of screaming at you to like reset and just like take a bit of a break. You know what I mean? And then I feel like then you can, if you want to, you can slowly reincorporate it. Yeah, but I think it's just being intentional. Yeah, drink if you guys are playing the drink. Take a shot, take a shot right now. If you guys are playing the drinking game, but it's good to be intentional, and I think it's also good just to like listen to yourself and see, right? Like not putting pressure on yourself, I think is so important. Yeah, and I think before I would go through like so much time of not drinking, and then I would have like a crazy night and like blackout, and I was like, okay, this also isn't oh being all I've done that so now it's more like I can drink more casually, like I can have a drink, and that doesn't mean I'm like, okay, now I have to drink for the rest of the night, you know. So you're actually enjoying the drink. Yeah. And then if you want to, you can. Yeah, you know, and enjoy being like tipsy, like, yeah, it's so fun. Has there ever been a night though where you were drinking that you feel like kind of changed your whole perspective on everything? Like, have you ever had like one of those like terrible nights? How much time do we have? No, I think like a couple months ago, I had a night where I like I went to like six different places. Is this the night that we were together? No. Oh different night. Yes, we started together. We started together, yes, and you know, like I just didn't make great decisions. And I think the next day I just realized, like, okay, that's just non-accurate reflection of who I am and like who I want to be and what I'm working towards. And I think drinking, that's like the tough part is if you get too drunk, and like sometimes you're meeting people for the first time, and like that's their first impression of you. And that's so true. I think, especially now, I like I really care about myself, and like finally, it's about time. About time, it's about time. But you know, like I I want to make sure I'm going out and being authentic, and yeah, you you also want to be the best version of yourself. Exactly, exactly. It was so funny. One time I remember I met Cam's Cam as like a barber. No, and I was so this is years ago before I really had like a handle on my drinking, which again, it's we're still working on it, but it's a lot better than it was a couple of years ago. And I met her at a night out at AMPM, and I was, I don't know what I was on that night. I was being insane. I came on my night off. It wasn't even a night day, it was like a they had like some like Sunday day party there, and I have all these photos of me and and Cam's barber, and she just, oh my god, she's just so pissed. Like, she's like next to me. And this is someone that meant a lot to Cameron. Like they're super close. Like he's a very well-respected barber, like in the city, like, you know, kind of has a big following. And the pictures of us, like, I'm beside her and I look cracked out. Like, I really look cracked out, and she just looks so angry. And like, I'm also like, who took these? Like, who, like, who allowed this, you know? But yeah, and I remember even still them and so so sorry, so random. But I remember like the next day, I was like, wow, like I am so like I was so excited to meet this person, and this is the version they saw of me. Yeah, and I was so anxious. I was like, wow. And every time Cam goes to the barber still, I'm like to his barber still, I'm like, is he still not the same barber? Yes, baby. Yes, yes. He's locked in with this barber. Respect. I respect. But every single time I go or every single time he goes, I just like immediately I think back to that moment. I'm like, oh, I just feel like, and I haven't seen her since. And I just feel like that's probably for the past, honestly. Yeah, and I I definitely will see her again at some point. And I feel like hopefully she can see like a different side of me. Yeah. Maybe your guy's wedding when she's doing his hair. Please, you know, that would be the ideal next situation, you know? She's like, You've changed. She's like, You're actually good. She's like, You're so you're so chilled. Yeah, it's like, wow. See, and that would signify growth to me. Oh, 100%. A thousand percent. We're all growing. But yeah, I feel like I feel like that would be, yeah, like that a night like that, you know, where the next day you're just like, that wasn't an accurate representation of myself and feeling that like internal like conflict of morals almost, you know. You're like, that who that was last night was not me. You know, I don't know who that was. No, and that's sometimes I'm like, that was my evil twin. That was not me. That was crazy. I'm like, there's a doppelganger out there, and she's claiming that was Eliza. Yeah. That's a lot. That was that was Eliza. Yeah, that was someone else. Nobody messaged me the next day. Yeah. No, it's it's so true. Honestly, having nights like that, I've had a couple of them. They're more, they're more rare now. But again, yeah, learning how to drink and have fun and not do anything crazy is a process. It's a process, but we're learning. We're learning. We're getting there. We really are getting there. Do you ever like when you go out? Do you feel like you're looking for something on a night out? Do you feel like there's something that you're like searching for when you're going out, you know? Sorry, random, random pet message. No, no. I think I mean like I think it's just like being around people that I love. The social action. The social connection and just like I love being silly and goofy. We love being too. Yeah. And like, I don't know. I think that's more what I'm searching for now is just having fun. So I feel like people go out for different reasons, right? Like, I feel like generally people are going out to have fun, but sometimes people are going out to like distract themselves, like going out to like forget about certain things, or to meet, like to like find like a new boyfriend or girlfriend, or not even that. Sorry, just to hook up. Yeah. I think that's a big thing for a lot of people. Yeah, one of those. I just want to have to hook up. I think now I just love, yeah, just being fun and silly and being with my girls. And that's the intention for the next one. I like I love the kiki the next day. Like, that is what I live for. Is when, like, whether it's you or like anybody, any one of my other girlfriends, the kiki the next day is just crazy. It just unmatched. Like, if anybody saw our messages like the next day, or the FaceTime the next day. Or the FaceTime the next day, like diabolical. It feels so good. It's so good though. It feels so good. Sometimes I like sometimes I like, you know, when you you're hungover and you're really silly and everything, and everything like you're still drunk. You're still kind of drunk and everything, like nothing's real. And you're just like, you ordered like, you know, $100 worth of food that you're probably like not gonna eat all of you or something. You know what I mean? Everything just like somewhat serious. It's just like a fuck a day. I kind of love having like a hangover, like a hangover day every once in a while. Sometimes controversially. No, honestly, that's like so real. Cause sometimes I feel like I get so drunk just to have it hangover. Then you're just like, then you have like a day where you're like, wow, like I can just like really write this diagram. Yeah, to no the today's canceled. Today's canceled, you know, and we're at home. I think it's like subconscious too. Like sometimes I don't even know I'm doing it. And then I'm like, I'm like, that felt really good. Just to do to like bedrod all day. Yeah. But then I feel like I fear as I get older, like my hangovers have been lasting like a few days now, unfortunately. Oh, yeah. No, that's also a big thing. Like now that I'm getting a little bit older, yeah. It's sometimes it'll be a week-long thing. Like, we'll like check in like later in the week and like we're both like we're not feeling good. No, it's it's wild out here. Yeah. And I'm like, that's also a huge thing, too, is feeling shit the next day. I'm like, I just don't have the time for that anymore. When I was younger, I'm like, well, because you're busy as well. Like, you like you just don't have the time to like be hungover all week. I can't afford to be hungover for five days. No, we can't do that anymore, babe. I think take a day. Yeah. Take a day if you need it. But that's the thing, though. It's also like with moderation. Like, I feel like that helps you, like, you know, the next day you're not as hungover. Like maybe you wake up and you feel like a little bit tired, but you're not like absolutely like dying, you know. No, it's it's kind of scary now that I'm like drinking a little more casually and just like you know, like again, like not drinking to get drunk, just like drinking to like get a little like loose and fun, a little silly. The hangovers aren't bad. So I'm like, so I'm like, I don't know if this is a good or a bad thing. Yeah, I feel like it's it's I feel like it could be both, you know, it could be both. Yeah, it just depends like what you what you do with that, of course. And I think, you know, like working out and being healthy, it's like if I'm drinking, I'm not really gonna do that. And so that's it doesn't always align with what I want. So time and place. Sometimes I book a workout class intentionally like the next morning because I'm like, that'll help me like I'll kind of like limit myself. Or like if I don't limit myself, I go to the workout class. I'm like, I like sweat it all out, and I normally feel like a little bit better. I'll cancel, babe. I'll cancel so I'm like, whatever the charge is, I'm like, I can't do it. Like, I just can't. And I've I don't think I've ever worked out hungover because I'm so scared of it. It's so brutal. I used to do Barry's classes hungover, and it was so but Barry's is also just brutal by nature, to be fair. You know, I that's not the life for me. That's not your journey. But I want to say thank you so much for taking the time to come by today, Miss Lizzie. And if you want to follow Lizzie and learn a bit more about her, see your sexy pics. You can follow Lizzie on Instagram at Liz Corin, right? C-O-R-N. No, C O R N. And then if you want to, you know, hear a bit more from me, you can follow me on Instagram at Club Therapy Pod, or you can find me on different podcast platforms at Club Therapy.

unknown 44:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 44:13

Thanks. This is so much fun. Should we exit with an ASMR?

unknown 44:18

Thanks, guys. Everyone goes at Club Therapy. We love you guys. Thanks for tuning. Bye. Bye.