hospitality and humility with daniel star

In this episode I am joined by a rising star in the Toronto scene, Mr. Daniel Star (@dvnielstar)! Daniel is one of Toronto’s hottest DJs and has a residency at popular Toronto clubs like ampm, dnd and lost and found. We talk about his humble origins, taking a gap year, being humble in the industry, hate comments, drinking while djing, our relationships, the importance of sacrifice, building trust in the industry etc etc. We hope you love the episode, please subscribe to stay in touch and dm me about who you want to see on next! 

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Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:01

You are now tuned into Club Therapy with Emily Chan.

SPEAKER_03 0:10

Welcome back to Club Therapy. I missed you guys, and I hope you missed me. It's a pleasure to introduce my next guest who feels like my baby brother, Mr. Daniel, or Daniel Starr, that's his DJ name. Daniel is currently a full-time DJ and has quickly become one of the industry's most popular DJs in the area in the span of a year and a half. Whoa. Year and a half, two years, right? Yeah. Yeah. About that. So he's uh DJing at spots like Lost and Found, DD, Ultraviolet, Escobar, and our very own and our very favorite AMPM. So thanks so much for joining us today, Danny.

SPEAKER_00 0:43

Thanks for having me. I'm so stoked to be a part of this.

SPEAKER_03 0:45

I know. I'm so happy we finally got you on. I feel like I was first thinking about my guest when I first started this. I was actually itching to have you on. I was like, I'm gonna wait a little bit. I'm gonna wait a little bit. And today, this timing, this felt right. This felt right.

SPEAKER_00 1:00

I'm I'm so glad it finally happened. But yeah, I know even the guests and the selection of guests that you've had so far, like they're pretty good.

SPEAKER_03 1:08

Amazing. Have you been have you been watching some of the episodes?

SPEAKER_00 1:11

Yeah, my my favorite one was probably like the photo will one, just because uh for the most part, when I'm like working with Will, like first of all, it's like an honor to be working with him and be a part of his team. But like for the most part, with the conversations that we have, it's just like, hey man, like I need you to perform like this, or uh I think we can work on this better, or or we're always working on something to improve or make happen together. Whereas like uh we'll have like small, like you know, personal like chats like here and there, but like a very in-depth like conversation.

SPEAKER_03 1:43

You haven't had that yet with him yet.

SPEAKER_00 1:46

But I was like, okay, like this is a pretty like like just being able to talk about you know like personal lives, mental health, all that whatnot, and really like behind the scenes of like you know, everything's you can't really find that anywhere, you know.

SPEAKER_03 2:00

Yeah, and I feel like that's like really what connects people. That's how you get closer to people, like when you have like these deeper conversations. And I feel like it's great because like you know, some of the guests like I'm already pretty close with, some of the people I'm not as close with, and I'm getting to know like my last, not my last guest, but the one before that like leaps, love him, he's a friend, but don't know him too well. And I unfortunately rarely get to see him around. Right. But getting to know him, I feel like is just such a treat. And I feel like it's also kind of nice sometimes, like just opening up a little bit and sharing because sometimes people only see one side of us, right? So I know from the guest perspective as well, they're saying it's kind of fun to just share, you know.

SPEAKER_00 2:35

100%, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 2:35

Yeah, and be transparent. Um, so I guess my my biggest question for actually maybe not my biggest question, but my first kind of question for you is what made you want to become a DJ? Because I remember meeting, I don't even know if I met you initially a year and a half ago, but I remember hearing about you. Cam was telling me that there's this guy named Daniel, yeah, and you wanted to DJ so badly at AMPM and you literally worked so hard. You're like, I to you were like, I need to DJ here. And you I remember put your kind of time in. And I think Cam also like helps you with like some DJ Yeah, right? With like ESP, he was like, I see so much potential in Daniel. And I'm not like I'm not surprised that you're where you're at now.

SPEAKER_01 3:15

Thank you.

SPEAKER_03 3:16

Um, of course, but yeah, what made you want to become a DJ? You know, going from like the kid a year and a half ago to now.

SPEAKER_00 3:22

Yeah, just like based on that, I'm gonna go like two ways with this conversation. But yeah, so my initials is like DJ, like Daniel Jang's my like. Oh no way, that's funny. So mentally like growing up, like since like like grade one, like every time like a little conversation about oh yeah, like what's what are your initials, right? Like, I'd say like a minor DJ. Like as a joke, like my homies would be like, Oh, like this guy's a DJ and everything. Yeah, so there's that aspect, and then I had like a phase of wanting to be like a SoundCloud rapper or whatever. Oh, because it's kind of it's like I need to hear that.

SPEAKER_03 3:56

Yeah, no, you gotta send that to me one day.

SPEAKER_00 3:58

I I can't have that out there, but um, yeah, no, and then that actually leads me to like bring up my stage name. So I I went by like quote unquote like Lil Stars for a little bit, right? Like the whole like Lil Rapper thing, like was pretty big.

SPEAKER_03 4:10

You're a real SoundCloud rapper, yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 4:12

Yeah, but yeah, Star comes from uh my like a translation of my Korean name. So when I started like DJing, I was like, okay, like what should I go by? And then I just put my English, like Daniel is technically like my English name, right? And then I just put star, which is like a translation of my Korean name, just like put it together. I love that. And then some people have like coined like the or I've been given the nickname like D Star. It was first coined by uh Sam from like Playground Series. Like he was the first person to call me that, and then like I forget like who started calling me that, but like it just like kind of spread. So I'm actually thinking about like changing uh my stage name with that.

SPEAKER_03 4:50

Yeah, to to D star just a D star. Yeah, just a D-star.

SPEAKER_00 4:54

I like both.

SPEAKER_03 4:55

Yeah, I didn't realize, oh my god, there's so many, there's so many signs early on. Yeah, you know, there was the the DJ, the initials. Yeah, there's also the the translation. Yeah, you were you're exactly where you're meant to be. I love that.

SPEAKER_00 5:08

Yeah, I know. And then uh the my bad, I just cut you off.

SPEAKER_03 5:11

No, it's okay.

SPEAKER_00 5:12

Um the the AM thing was like I like I DM'd Cameron, like I was already DJing at uh the Drake Hotel, and then uh I played once on a Sunday at apartment. And um, yeah, I just like sent this like whole ass like paragraph to Cameron and I was like, yo man, like like I'm an up-and-coming DJ man. Yo, I'd love to do an opening with uh AM sometime. He left it on red, so I was like, oh man, that's not happening.

SPEAKER_03 5:38

You know what? He's really bad at at answering his DMs, he'll leave me on red.

SPEAKER_00 5:42

And I'm like, Yeah, it'll be red, and then like he'll get back to you like six hours later or something like that. Exactly. Yeah, so yeah, after I just learned he does that, so like at first I took it personally, but like later down the line when I like got to know him, and like like you understand like how crazy his schedule is, like, but you can see okay, like but he remembers to you know like respond back.

SPEAKER_03 6:04

Sometimes it just takes a second though, for sure. I get DMs sometimes from people who will message Cameron and they can't get a hold of him, and then they DM me because they know that I'm pretty fast at responding. But also keep in mind I have like way less DMs than him. Sometimes I see his DMs and I'm like, I couldn't wake up to that. Like he has so many. Do your DMs look like that? Like just with like inquiries or people tagging you?

SPEAKER_00 6:26

Uh Charlotte has actually told me like when certain people can't get a hold of me, like like they'll they'll talk to Charlotte, or if they know like they know like like us two, like personally, and can't like get a hold of me, they'll they'll reach out, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 6:39

Because they know they'll probably get a response from her faster.

SPEAKER_00 6:41

And then she'll tell me, and then I'm like, oh, like this person hit me up. Okay, thank you. But yeah, I I send a message to Cameron, and then from there, yeah, I got booked the first time and just did horribly, and then uh I think it was on a on a December and then the January after, like when I came I I was at BC and then I came back to Toronto and I was like, yo, like I know I messed up like the first time you had me, but I'm willing to like put in like a lot of work to like just be able to get that opening again so that and then but just based off that I think just the principle of willing to A, I was like, yo, you don't even have to pay me for the first one. I'm just gonna like put in the work to like just be able to have the opportunity to like do this again. And I think like he really liked that.

SPEAKER_03 7:32

So he's always said you're a very honorable person. Oh and it's true, it's true. Honestly, I think a lot of people would have given up after that first attempt. We were actually kind of talking about this right before we started filming, right? About how um it's kind of embarrassing when you first start something, you kind of put yourself out there.

SPEAKER_02 7:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 7:47

Because like it's kind of inevitable, like you're gonna fail a little bit, you know, or there's gonna maybe not fail, but like there's you're gonna put stuff out there that's maybe not the best quality, you know, maybe not like up to par, and like that's kind of okay. But it unfortunately is kind of inevitable inevitable, like when you're, you know, rising up.

SPEAKER_00 8:04

I think like no matter what, like no matter what, kind of if you're always picking up something new, like you're always gonna find like areas where there's gonna be like learning lessons or you know, some some mistakes are gonna be made, and you kind of have to go through it so that like later down the line, like you have the importance, like you understand the importance of like why you have to do certain things a certain way or why you have to plan certain to have a certain outcome, you know.

SPEAKER_03 8:29

Absolutely. You have to learn the hard way sometimes, unfortunately. Oh my god, I've learned the hard way so many times with this uh podcast because it's like something new that I'm doing, right? And like there's been so many times where I've you know made a made like um a reel or something or a TikTok and it got like a bad response, or like, you know, I post something and it feels kind of cringy, or even like episodes where you know, I wasn't like fully prepared coming into the episode and I feel like it wasn't like the quality that I wanted it to be at, you know? And it just it's it's tough, but that that is unfortunately how you learn. Yeah, you know, now I come to every single time, like every single time I film, I come early. I try to, yeah, like a little bit early. I kind of anticipate setting up like the studio a little bit. I know exactly like what to ask for, you know, um, with the podcast engineer, a lovely podcast engineer over here. But yeah, yeah, it's unfortunately it's it's inevitable. And I was gonna say, like, have you had like a really big learning lesson so far? Like, has there been like one learning lesson that's really stuck out to you where you're like, fuck, this is a game changer.

SPEAKER_00 9:28

I think um more than like a learning lesson, I think it's just like helped. Like, of course, I've had like a lot of like learning lessons like throughout this, but I think just like believing in myself more, it was like the like the principle that's the thing. Yeah, like like the like gained from like everything. Cause initially, like there's like a period where like like everybody else, where you know they're kind of just struggling to get like their first few bookings and everything. And when I realized I was getting like a little bit more, I was like, okay, so if I sacrifice like this is the reason why I took a gap year, like there's a point where I was just stacking a few like residencies here and there. And then just based off that, I was like, okay, like if I decide to take a gap year from school, like I have no choice but to risk everything and just go full into that's true, like what I have to do, and I'm pretty lucky that it worked out for me.

SPEAKER_03 10:24

There's like but I feel like there's some hard work there too.

SPEAKER_00 10:26

Yeah, yeah, for sure.

SPEAKER_03 10:26

What were you in school for actually? I'm curious.

SPEAKER_00 10:28

I was in school for political science, economics, and sociology at U of T. Originally I was admitted for sociology, but I switched um from sociology to political science because later down the line I have like this this idea to like practice law, like later down the line. Somewhere in like entertainment law or like corporate or something like that.

SPEAKER_03 10:49

So you're like, I'll do political science, it'll like kind of set me up well and everything. I like that. Are you in third year, fourth year? Or technically?

SPEAKER_00 10:55

Um technically in my third year.

SPEAKER_03 10:57

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 10:58

If I were to go back, I'd have to take a fifth. I like I completely like in my last semester, like just off the yeah, this was like even before I was getting like book booked, but like I was like, I'm not even gonna lie, I actually sacrificed one of my um exams to like DJ AM and then like Are you serious? Yeah, I like away. Yeah, I thought that uh I had like five hours. I was I calculated everything. I was like, yo, if I come straight home, right? And like get five hours of sleep and wake up exactly when this alarm like I'll be good. Yeah, I'll be good. I ended up like like sleeping past it and I had to defer my luckily I was able to defer my exam. Okay, thank god.

SPEAKER_03 11:38

At least you didn't miss it.

SPEAKER_00 11:38

But like, yeah, it was pretty irresponsible. Like that, I wouldn't even like consider a sacrifice. That's like that's irresponsible. I'm not even looking at it. There's like, you know, like a balance of the. But that's but you probably learn from that, right?

SPEAKER_03 11:48

You're like, I'm not, I'm actually I'm just gonna take a year off. Yeah, yeah. You know, I did a fifth year. And I was kind of embarrassed by doing a fifth year. I'm not gonna lie, when I initially decided to do a fifth year, because I was like, oh, it's kind of embarrassing because like you kind of want to finish in four years, you know. And I think there's a lot of embarrassment too around like even sometimes taking a gap year, whether that's like while you're in university or before university, yeah, you know, or even like there's some embarrassment I think about not going to school at all or not graduating. I have some friends that um I went to TMU with. Yeah. I went to TMU for my undergrad. And so um, some of my friends like they just didn't end up graduating, but they're still doing really well right now, you know. And I think I said this in a previous episode, but I think we're realizing now like people can be really successful um without school.

SPEAKER_00 12:31

Yeah, you don't have to go to school to be successful, right?

SPEAKER_03 12:34

Yeah, exactly. Because and I think people are you can be successful and really happy, you know what I mean? Like when I actually went to school too, I wanted to go into law too. Oh, that's crazy. Yeah, a little similarity there. Like I initially went into social work and I was thinking about doing a social work kind of like law program at U of T. You could do like your master's of of social work and your law degree all within three years.

SPEAKER_01 12:54

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_03 12:55

And I was like, oh my god, like perfect, you know?

SPEAKER_01 12:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 12:57

But then I actually talked to some lawyers and I was like, okay, so what does your lifestyle look like? You know?

SPEAKER_01 13:02

Oh, it's cut.

SPEAKER_03 13:02

It's brutal. It's brutal. And I was like, I actually don't know if that's for me, you know.

SPEAKER_00 13:08

It's straight work, like paperwork, like handling like relationships with clients and everything, and it's a lot of back-end work. So yes.

SPEAKER_03 13:15

Yeah, and it's it's so much work, like it's it's constant work, and I feel like the work is very tedious and it's very admin. Like it's just it's so much reading. Even like I remember one time I like read like the criminal code and I was like, I don't even know what this is saying. I can't even imagine being in court trying to like, you know, fight for someone's like, you know, like defend someone like about this. Like I was like, I I just couldn't do that. And so I like pivoted a little bit because I feel like sometimes like you know, we think that we have to like have like these like super professional, like high-paying jobs in order to be successful, and we don't necessarily have to do that, you know. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 13:49

I think um, yeah, like uh that's one of the reasons why I actually wanted to do like music or get like a music-related job. It's like so my background is I'm I'm South Korean, right?

SPEAKER_03 13:59

And cool.

SPEAKER_00 14:00

Majority of Koreans end up like majority of Korean families, especially if they immigrate from like Korea to Canada, they expect you to like uh be like go to university or and like a prestigious one at that, right? And then end up being like a doctor or a lawyer, like working in finance or something like that, right?

SPEAKER_03 14:18

Absolutely, it's definitely um like a East Asian kind of cultural values to you know.

SPEAKER_00 14:23

Yeah, it's not just Korean, it's like any, I feel like with any immigrant family that comes to Canada, like they expect their child to, you know, do any they're like I'd say they're considered like stable or a bit more stable jobs and everything and secure, right?

SPEAKER_03 14:38

Like stable and secure for sure, and high paying as well. Yeah. So I was gonna actually ask you when it comes to DJing, was there anything that kind of surprised you about, you know, this lifestyle? Like things that, you know, you kind of learned along the way that shocked you a little bit? Because I know when I first started serving, especially doing bottle service, there's so much that, you know, I was surprised by, right? Like things like having to constantly talk to, and we call them spenders, like people who come in and and pay for you know what a spender is, you know, and pay for uh the bill, like talking to spenders um during the week and like even becoming friends with some of them as well. Like some of them actually genuinely are friends of mine now. Um, or like sometimes going out to like network. Sometimes I'll go out and like, you know, meet people and try to get them to come to AMPM. Like there's that kind of stuff I didn't initially think about. Was there anything like that for you when it came to teaching?

SPEAKER_00 15:26

When it comes down to like the I was kind of viewed like everything, like when it comes to nightlife or like clubbing or like restaurants, like it's just like hospitality. Like that's kind of just how I view like everything. Like I my first few jobs was like uh I worked at Starbucks as a barista, and um my very first first job was uh I was a server at like one of my friends' uh restaurants back in uh BC.

SPEAKER_03 15:50

But uh wait, you're not from BC, are you?

SPEAKER_00 15:52

I'm from BC.

SPEAKER_03 15:53

I'm from BC.

SPEAKER_00 15:54

I'm from uh I'm from uh I can't really claim like a city, but I I say Vancouver because it's like the first place I moved to. I'll probably know because I grew up in BC. But um my family, we kind of just like moved around like a lot. We we never really had we stayed like out of city tops for like a year and a half, two years, and but we had to move. But yeah, I lived in Vancouver, Surrey, where else? Langley, Cloverdale, Abbasford.

SPEAKER_03 16:20

Oh, you've you've been all over. Yeah, like even in the all around the greater mystery.

SPEAKER_00 16:24

Harrison Hot Springs, if you know where that's you live there, yeah, like for about like a year and a half. So beautiful there.

SPEAKER_03 16:29

But I can imagine kind of boring being there for a year and a half.

SPEAKER_00 16:31

Oh, it's quiet. It's quiet, it's like uh gorgeous, like a retirement, like kind of I went with Cam when we first started dating.

SPEAKER_03 16:36

He was like, It's so beautiful here. And then two days later, he's like, We gotta get the hell out of here.

SPEAKER_00 16:40

Yeah, it's like it's it's cool. I feel like those like touristy places, they're like they're cool for a day, and then like living there. Like, you're like, okay.

SPEAKER_03 16:48

Oh, I can't even believe you you live there. I had no idea you're from BC. Yeah. I'm I'm from East Vancouver. Yeah, and like with like Burnaby, East Vancouver, like kind of area. And then I've yeah, I've kind of like stayed there like my whole life. Like my parents, we initially started in Burnaby and then we went to East Vancouver. Now we're back in Burnaby. Okay. Ask my parents, I'm like, why do you why the hell did you guys move back to Burnaby when we were in like beautiful East Vancouver? But they love it there, but it's it just feels so far away from everything.

SPEAKER_00 17:13

But I've I've lived in uh what is it like I've lived in Saskatchewan, like uh you know where Regina is? Yeah, yeah, too. Yeah, part of my little like uh childhood there, and then like two years for like being bad. Um my parents like sent me to Korea for a little bit. So uh yeah.

SPEAKER_03 17:30

I bet that was fun.

SPEAKER_00 17:31

No, no, it's it's 50-50. Like I had I had a it was a good uh good two years like tapping in with my like Korean like culture and everything and for sure the how like society is there because before that like all I all I knew was like before Korea was just like Atmosphere for a bit, and uh that's where I spent like a few of my like younger, like younger teenage years. And um nice. I kind of just like had a I don't know how to explain it, like a small town mentality kind of thing. Where whereas when I moved to Korea for like those two years, I kind of just like understood how bigger the world is, like based off the fact that like like before I moved to Korea, I already I had this notion that like like the way it is in North America, it's like the same like everywhere else, but it's not, you know. Like I moved to when I got to Korea, like the way that you greet your elders is different, the way that you uh go about certain social norms is different. There's like etiquette for like when you're at a restaurant with certain elders and stuff like that. So when I moved there, you kind of just like expanded my like horizon with like all right, like the world's a big place. So yeah.

SPEAKER_03 18:39

I can even see that though in like your demeanor and affect now, right? Like those values that and maybe that you learn them like while like learn about them like while you're in Korea, but they seem very ingrained in you, right? Because I feel like you are quite respectful of you know older people. I feel like you're very a very humble person, you know. I can really see that like shining through. Thank you. Sorry, just to circle back. So you worked at a restaurant in BC. Yeah, yeah. So how was that? Let's restart it. Starbucks restaurant in BC you served.

SPEAKER_00 19:05

I like how we like just talked about like like restaurants and hospitality, and then we just ended up talking about Korea, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 19:13

Which I'm glad we still talked about though. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 19:15

Um, yeah. So when it comes to what I learned when it comes to like nightlife and everything, everything is just like hospitality at the end of the day, right? And what I mean by that is like, so at the end of the day, no matter what, regardless if you're at a restaurant or at a nightclub, right? Like people are spending their like hard-earned money to like just wind down, relax, and like enjoy something, right? Like whether it's enjoying a meal or like enjoying like an experience, right? Music, yeah, music, right? Like when you're talking to somebody like one-to-one or even like a big group of people, right? Like you're you're kind of just like figuring out how to cater to somebody's needs. You're when you're working in hospit hospitality, it's not about you, it's it's it's about the person that you're serving, right? And so, yeah, just having that conversation on like how can I help you? How's your day today? Uh etc. etc. etc. Small like interpersonal things like that make that person's like day like you know way better, right?

SPEAKER_03 20:10

Like you're just like trying to make every person feel special, right? That's kind of what I'm hearing.

SPEAKER_00 20:14

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 20:14

So that's so important.

SPEAKER_00 20:16

And that same principle when it comes to DJing, and I kind of just took this from uh when Mike Rock was actually schooling me, but he he uh brought this analogy of like DJing is kind of like like culinary cooking, right? Like how you the songs that you select, whether it be like rap, R and B, Afrobeats, and the piano, soaker, like depending on the crowd that you're playing for, it's like you're cooking up a bunch of different like ingredients to to serve like a three-course meal to like a crowd of people.

SPEAKER_03 20:44

That's a good way. I like that. He was schooling you, yeah. Yeah, he loves doing that. Yeah, he's funny. So that's something you kind of realized, I guess. Like, not even like in your DJ career, but kind of when you first started in hospitality. I'm hearing like that's just something that you realized was really important, and then I'm sure that's been reinforced over the years. And I'm I'm sure that's also why you're so successful now, right? Like, you know, although you just started like a year and a half ago, I know I keep saying it, guys, but it's it's it's really impressive. It's honestly really hard to break into the DJ scene here. And even once you break in, it's hard to become like, you know, booked and busy. So I must say, but I feel like that's something you do very well. Like, even when I first met you, I feel like you're very you knew who I was. Like you knew I was Kem's girlfriend, you know, you're very kind to me. Um, you knew my name and you never forgot it. Like, and it's just like little things like that, right? That make people feel close and connected to you. Oh, I like that. Great answer. Okay, so um, a little bit of a mental health question. I don't know how you feel about that.

SPEAKER_00 21:40

Let's do it.

SPEAKER_03 21:40

Let's do it. Okay. So I want to ask you how has your mental health been affected by working in nightlife?

SPEAKER_00 21:46

To be fully transparent, yeah. A lot a lot of uh ups and downs because uh at first, like when I when I first started, like I really had this thing where I I really cared about what other people thought. And it was I had a peop I had a people pleaser kind of thing, like in the back of my mind where like like okay, like I have to make sure that I'm not burning out these songs for these other DJs, but at the same time, like how do I how do I like make these people like feel good with the stuff that I'm doing or how do I go about certain things so that I'm able to get certain opportunities and not only that, but like when I'm when I was like finished up with like a performance, right? Like I'd always like the thought of all right, like hopefully I performed well enough for me to be able to like come back here and like provide my services here. And uh for a little bit, I kind of just like especially w in the first little bit where I sacrificed like the gap year or taking that gap year, I equated my self-esteem with like how often I was I was booked for a bit. Right.

SPEAKER_03 22:47

So if you weren't booked for a bit, you're like, I'm a piece of shit, like I hate myself, right?

SPEAKER_00 22:51

Yeah, something along the lines of that, right? Like or more so it was more so like I'm not doing enough, I have to do more. I always had this uh within like creating culture, like there's this like hustle mentality where like you always have to be busy and everything, and I think that like naturally like translated into like like the way I go about things. Like I always have to if I signed up to do something, like I have to be like busy about it, right?

SPEAKER_03 23:16

Yeah, or like the best, right? Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 23:18

Like number one, like about like no matter what I do, if I sign up to do it, I have to be number one, I have to be on top of everything.

SPEAKER_03 23:24

And it's hard because like when you first start something, you're not gonna be there right away. No, like yeah, no, it was it was so unhealthy, and I forget where the turning point was, but um so kind of just like like your mental health was uh impacted by like maybe like rejection, and kind of like when you first started, you're saying like that was kind of that was tough for you, right? Like dealing with like maybe judgment or like making sure people like you wanted people to like you and you felt like maybe they didn't maybe weren't booked, or if you know people weren't like responding well to your sets, yeah, and stuff like that.

SPEAKER_00 23:52

It was eating me up for a little bit, but um the thing that changed like everything about it was um luckily like I've also had like he's a he's a big King Street guy. Uh his name is uh Michelle Brackett. He he uh he's just at Century, Patty Cash and uh Esko. But yeah, he was one of the few people that um like took me under his wing. But you kind of just said something along the lines of like as long as you're like a good person, plus like you're genuinely trying your best, and like as long as you're like pushing to be like pushing to do better than you did like last time, right? Like that that's the win that matters, and that's kind of just what changed that. Like, oh, I have to be number one, I have to be the best. Like that when I started practicing the things that he implemented on me, or tried to in my mind at least, I don't know how to explain it, but like when I started practicing those ideas in my mind, yeah, kind of ingraining those ideas into everything that you do, right? That changed like everything, and naturally when I started uh practicing the things that he he had taught me, like yeah, things took off like a little bit more. So that's awesome.

SPEAKER_03 24:58

I feel like that's also probably when you really started believing yourself too. You're like, okay, fuck it, who cares? It's taking me a while to like kind of get to that point where I'm like, okay, like I just don't care what people think about me. And like I not not, I that's actually not true. I actually do really care about what people think about me. I generally want to be like well liked, right? Yeah, but it's natural, like everybody like who who doesn't want to be liked, you know? But at the same time, like I I think it really took up until like last year, I think, um, to get really comfortable with the idea of people, not everyone like people like not liking me. I even actually a couple days ago, I got my first, not my first, my third hate comment ever. I know. Have you gotten a hate comment yet?

SPEAKER_00 25:37

No, I know I know there's a lot of like people talking behind my back, but that doesn't really like face me anymore.

SPEAKER_03 25:42

Yeah, I'm sure there's I just know there's some people that from AMPM that are like Emily such a bitch, or Emily pushed me in the crowd this one day when she's trying to get through me. Like I just I know there's something like that, you know, or Emily's so protective with camera. Like I just, I just know it, you know. Um, but you don't really hear, you don't, it's hard to pinpoint, but like I feel like a hate comment. Um, it's just it's it's so direct, it's so so specific. Like someone commented on this reel that I posted in collaboration with some of my friends. Um, I was a guest on like this other podcast. Right. And the very first comment was, what was it? It was a bottle service girl doing a podcast, like ugh, you know.

SPEAKER_00 26:20

Oh man, I know fucking hate comments, yo.

SPEAKER_03 26:22

No, it was so mean. And it was on Instagram too, and I was kind of surprised because I feel like people are generally a bit nicer on Instagram compared to like TikTok and Twitter and stuff like that. And so yeah, I like started my Wednesday off like that. I woke up and that was the first thing I saw. And I'm not gonna lie, I do my skin's thicker, but and again, keep in mind this is like a completely random account. Don't know who this is. It seems kind of like a spam account, yeah, you know, completely random, but it it really, really hurt my feelings, you know. And so I think it's hard, even though even when you build that skin up, like there are still gonna be moments that I feel like can really that can like really get to you, you know, especially if you're in like kind of already in like a bad headspace. Like I think I started this week off in like a bad note, and that just halfway through the week, I was like, damn, that's it. And I started crying, I called Cam. He was he was gonna fight this guy in the comments for me. And I was like, that's you're making it worse. I'm like, you're gonna make it worse. Like, just just leave it. And then my friends ended up deleting the comment. And then I think I I don't even think I responded to it, but like the comment was deleted and I kind of forgot about it up until just now. Yeah, but I can really relate to that. I remember when I first started in the industry, I really wanted people to like me. I did, I went above and beyond.

SPEAKER_01 27:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 27:27

And right now, I guess with your mental health, like, do you does it ever get to you like working these nights though and being in that environment? Because I know again, like I've said it before too, it gets to me. Even just being there once or twice a week can really get to me. And you're there like three or four times, maybe five, dare I say.

SPEAKER_00 27:43

Yeah, yeah. Before I answer that question, I just want to add on to what you just said. Yeah, but uh yeah, it's by nature, it's like like I think it's it's natural to like regardless of if you're getting like a hundred compliments, like obviously the two, three, like, like yeah. But with that being said, though, like what kind of just helped me uh realize, like uh or helped me to just ignore stuff like that was like they're saying that because like they're insecure or they feel like they they feel um some sort of like resentment within themselves, and they're just trying to like you know, like lash it out to yeah, somebody else.

SPEAKER_03 28:21

So it's normally it that actually is true. It's normally more of like a them issue versus a you issue, right? Because I think it's like a really fucked up thing to just wake up and like write a comment like that, you know? Yeah, like what kind of person does that? And that's it's a fucked up person.

SPEAKER_00 28:35

I know it's just a comment, but like what kind of person like spends like their energy to like because we're good people, we would never do that.

SPEAKER_03 28:42

Yeah, I've never in my life, maybe okay, maybe once, but I've never actually done it, and never in my life have I actually written like a hate comment. Yeah, you know, maybe I've thought about it once or twice, maybe sue me, you know. But generally, you know, to actually like put something like that out there is just like kind of like a bit of an evil thing to do, and it does have to do with more so with the person than with you. Good reminder. Yeah, good reminder.

SPEAKER_00 29:04

I'm so sorry. What was what was the uh question that you just asked?

SPEAKER_03 29:06

No, no worries at all. Um, I want to ask, like, I mean, just like being in like nightlife five days a week or three to five days a week, like, is that challenging? Because I I just can't even imagine doing that. Honestly, I'm not built for that.

SPEAKER_00 29:18

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 29:19

Really struggle because you're not even like in like the service industry, like just like like restaurants, right? Like you're in like bars and clubs three to five nights a week.

SPEAKER_00 29:28

Yeah, yeah. Um, I think there's like a lot of different like challenges that you wouldn't like normally think of. Like, first is like my sleep schedule. I'm always like, if I'm at like 4 a.m. spot, it'll go till 4 30, and then I'm I'm not home till like 5 a.m. in the morning.

SPEAKER_03 29:43

And then you're probably not sleeping until six, right?

SPEAKER_00 29:45

Yeah, so yeah. And then I'll I'll wake up at like it's so embarrassing, but like one or two, like it's pretty bad. So it's not terrible, yeah. But still, like by then, like people have had their lunch and like you know.

SPEAKER_03 29:58

I know it's crazy. People are like halfway through their day already, and you're like, oh, you're just like just waking up.

SPEAKER_00 30:03

Yeah, like even my friends know, like, like I'll go in like group chats and they'll be like, yo, why is this not why is this guy not responding? Yeah, he's sleeping. I'm just like, damn, I was been called out like that.

SPEAKER_03 30:14

But so it's like the sleep kind of gets to you.

SPEAKER_00 30:16

There's like the sleep schedule aspect of things. Alcohol is like I know where we work in a industry, it's it's pretty much we're like we're selling alcohol and we're sp selling an experience, right?

SPEAKER_03 30:27

Right, even I feel like more so as a DJ sometimes, right? Because you're like DJs really curate the vibe. Like if the DJ's good and the music's good and the vibes are good, people will spend more and like they like they go hard, you know.

SPEAKER_00 30:39

So yeah, with that being said, uh just controlling how much alcohol I have like within a week is it's actually something that I'm like currently like uh like trying to just work on right now. And like as of right now, like I know it's like inevitable that like I'll have like a few promoter homies that just walk up to me and give you shot. Yeah, and at first I kind of just had this this thing where I I wouldn't say no because I I knew how much like like at the at the club, like yo, it's it's expensive, yo. Right, you're like ten dollars like ten dollars for a shot and then three hundred dollars for a bottle is like or four hundred five hundred certain places, right? If you really think about that, like that's pretty expensive, right?

SPEAKER_03 31:21

So when someone's giving you offering you that, you want to be gracious and accept it.

SPEAKER_00 31:25

Right, but I think it's also like with that being said, as as of right now, it's helping me um like practice like like establishing my like boundaries of like oh like this day I'm gonna limit myself to like this much so that the next day I won't like wake up hungover and this day because I don't have anything this day, like I'll I'll drink a little bit, but not not too much and everything. I remember when I first started going to AM, like when I was going like religiously, religiously, I'd like black out almost like every single like be like that time I was there. But now that like I'm I'm DJing from like maybe like Tuesday to like Monday sometimes, or like by the time you're at MPM, you're like, okay, yeah, like I'm tired. Yeah. So what I just started doing was like it's inevitable that I'm I'm gonna have like access, like especially if I feel like if you work within the industry, it's so accessible, you know? Like you like you're not you know, you can get it for free and everything, like it's so accessible. I I'd even argue that like it's more accessible than like water sometimes.

SPEAKER_03 32:23

Like, sure, it's so easy to go up to the bartender and be like, hey, I'm the DJ here, can have a shot. Yeah, be like, yeah, whatever you whatever you want. You can have multiple if you want. Yeah, yeah. So you can have a bottle. You can have a bottle. Yeah, no, it's literally. I was gonna say, like, so what's kind of like your limit then? Like how many, like if you are on like a night where you're DJing, how many drinks will you have?

SPEAKER_00 32:40

I'll cap it at um three or three, four on certain dates where I I decide I choose like the I kind of just go about it like this. Like, I think about the intensity of how like intense the the gig or the party is, right? And kind of just go go about it from there. But there'll be certain days where I'll be like, okay, I'm having a Red Bull and like maybe like a beer, and that's it. Like that's all I'm having. I'm saying no to everything else.

SPEAKER_03 33:06

Good for you. That takes a lot of self-control and discipline.

SPEAKER_00 33:09

It's something that I'm practicing like as of right now. So I I I really can't say how far or how how good I've been at it, but I I know for sure, like uh like the intention. If you're if realistically, if you're drinking like a little bit, even like even if it's like a two, three shots or like a beer or two, like that's if you think about the grand total about how much that is, that's a lot of alcohol, right? Yeah, when it gets to you. It's uh I think it's in the World Health Organization that alcohol is actually the number one worst substance for you.

SPEAKER_03 33:41

Like it's it's it really is, yeah, it really is. And it's crazy that it's legal when you think about it too. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's great that you're you're conscious about it though. Cause I feel like, especially at your age, you know, like I know you're a bit you're not young, but you're a bit younger than me, you know. And I think having that mindset at like a bit of a younger age is so healthy. Um, I know a lot of people like they kind of even just start getting into the industry at your age, and like they just it takes them a while to like learn those lessons.

SPEAKER_01 34:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 34:06

I was gonna say, when it comes to DJing, do you prefer DJing sober or do you prefer DJing with like a few shots in you out of curiosity? Because I know you're supposed to technically DJ sober, right? Because that's like it's a pretty technical thing that you're doing. Yeah, yeah. I tried it, terrible. I was awful. I went to ESP Studio too. Oh, no way. Yeah, poor guy, he's teaching me, and I was just like, could not figure out like I I learned like the basics, but I when I really realized how technical it was and how challenging it was, I was like, no. So I have a lot of respect for people who do DJ, it is quite technical. And so I can imagine though, like drinking would, you know, even if you're comfortable with it, like I can imagine that'd be a bit more challenging.

SPEAKER_00 34:42

Yeah, in the in the beginning, I would I'd always feel like nervous about like no matter where I went to, or especially with the like newer venues that I was playing at the time, I don't I'd always feel like a bit of like nervousness or like anxiety, and then just to calm those nerves nerves, I would go to the bar and just down a few shots and then go play. But um now it's kind of just like I'm I'm pretty like confident in my like capabilities of what I'm able to do. So I'll just like socialize for a bit and you don't really need it now, yeah. Yeah, so I'll just talk with somebody that I haven't seen in a hot minute and I'll just catch up, have a little conversation. Maybe I'll have like a beer or two or something, but like nothing like crazy and because I I've also like come to realize like not a lot of people think about it, but like in certain spaces, like considering how like chaotic like the club actually is, if you really think about it, there's a million things that could go wrong, right?

SPEAKER_03 35:34

So if the DJ's really drunk, oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 35:37

It's like if the sound cuts out, like how are you gonna figure out like what's what's wrong and everything, right? Like you have to be able to, you know, and you have to be aware of the energy of like you know, the space that you're in.

SPEAKER_03 35:48

Or if you're drunk and you're just playing what you want to hear versus like what the crowd wants, like disaster, yeah. That's actually happened once or twice. There was one time, I won't name who, but there's one time a DJ came. This is years ago. Um, but he got really drunk, and I love him, but he just he was so drunk he couldn't even finish a set. Oh, and then thank God another DJ just happened to be in the crowd and they were able to like kind of cover for him. Yeah, um, and it again, it's not the end of the world. Like, I'm sure I'm sure it's happened at everyone.

SPEAKER_00 36:14

It's happened at at least one DJ, like at least once in their life. Exactly.

SPEAKER_03 36:17

And like again, that's even happened to me like before as like a server. I blocked out once or twice during my shift, and you learn from it, you know, and like you learn from those moments, and I think they're like turning moments for people. Yeah, but it happens, you know, and like it's crazy though, because in those moments you really realize how important the DJ is, right? Because you're like, whoa, oh my god, like what's happening? I think I was working that night and I was like, what the hell is going on with the sound? I was like, what's happening now? And then it just cut out for a couple minutes and then came, and then the next DJ just came on and it was it was chaotic, it was crazy. Okay, good answer though. I like that. Yeah, thank you. So just to kind of, you know, we also were talking about sacrifices, so just to kind of like circle back to that too, like you were saying that you sacrificed like a year, like a school year basically academic year to pursue DJing full-time, right? Because this is your full time right now. Yeah, yeah, which is amazing. And so were there any other sacrifices? Yeah, like have there been any other sacrifices that you've made so far to like kind of get to where you are?

SPEAKER_00 37:15

When I when I kind of just like had that idea of like, okay, this is what I want to do, and uh in the grand scheme of things, like from where I'm at is just like the beginning of where I I really want to be and everything. So I was like, I realized like if I if I want to become the version of of myself of doing or pursuing what I want to do, like I have to make that sacrifice of like risking um not going to school for a year, and if I go all in, I kind of just made promises to myself that like I'd be doing A, B, C, and D, right? And the A, B, C, and D like uh worked out in my head, or the the the things that I wanted to see happen in real life, like it it actually like happened. So I know it's proof now to me that it was worth it. But the in terms of the sacrifice, what I sacrificed was uh yeah, just delaying like my graduation. But to be honest, like I I don't really see that as a sacrifice just because um when I was moving around, there'd be times where uh I was like held back a semester, or like and you still probably graduated, right?

SPEAKER_03 38:20

Everything was fine in the yeah.

SPEAKER_00 38:21

When I moved to Korea, like I I I got held back semester. So when I moved back here, I was missing a semester, so I just got like I just decided just to go like the grade down or whatever. And so yeah, taking that gap year was like it wasn't really a sacrifice, and plus like most males in Korea they have to do like a mandatory like military service for like a year and a half. So to me, in in my in my world, like that year was like you're like it's basically the same thing, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 38:46

Yeah, it's like the same thing, like you're like you're taking a year off either way.

SPEAKER_00 38:49

I was like, okay, like you know what, like screw it, like I'm just gonna take this risk. Like it's it I didn't really view it much of a risk, but what in terms of what I really feel like I actually sacrificed was like, yeah, I feel like I sacrificed a lot of my um my my relationships, my uh personal finances, my my resources, and it I knew that I kind of just viewed it as like a barrier of entry. Like uh you're like I need to do this in order to get to the next it has to like you have to go through. I'm a firm believer in like you have to go through certain things and you have to sacrifice certain things in order for you to get to somewhere, whether it be like if if you're graduating or let's take that lawyer example, right? In order to become a lawyer, you have to like you have to a get an undergrad, which is like it's not it's not uh it's not cheap, it's pretty expensive to four years, yeah. Peak years, so time, yeah, time, energy, your mind, like a lot of things, and then on top of that, you have to take the bar exam. Then you have to go to law school, all sat, yeah, all that wouldn't, and then yeah, law school, and that's way more expensive. You're putting yourself in like hella debt, right? Like, you don't know for sure if you're you're gonna actually make it or not, right? But it's it's a sacrifice of like that whole process and just to get an end result, right? Like, I'd rather this is just me personally, but I'm I'm willing to make sacrifices, and with uh with the version I have of myself that I have in my head, like I don't know for sure like 100% if I'm like I'm gonna get there, but I know like as long as I try my best and I I put in 100% of what I do, like even if I I don't have that outcome of what I plan in my head, I'll get somewhere near there for sure at least, right? And I'm I'm sensible. Like, I don't I'd rather like like make a bunch of sacrifices and risk my time, energy, resources, and all that whatnot now, than like 10-15 years go by and and I'm just like, damn, like what if I did this?

SPEAKER_03 40:45

Because life is genuinely so short, right? I feel like the older you get, the more you realize that, you know, and sacrificing honestly, like that's something I'm I'm learning at my old age, uh the hard way right now, you know, is something that needs to be done in order to get to like the next level. I feel like I've been really luck, lucky, and grateful for the kind of life I've had. Like, I feel like a lot of things were kind of handed to me. I still genuinely think I had like some of the best luck in the world. Like, I'm not kidding. Um, I feel so grateful for my parents and the people that have come into my life. A hundred percent. Even just like the strangers that I've met, like and the opportunities I've been given. And now I feel like I'm at this point in my life though where none of that is really being handed to me anymore. And I have to work for it. And I feel like I'm starting to sacrifice quite a lot to get to like, you know, where I want to be. Like, I want this podcast to be successful. I want a successful therapy business. I want to, you know, be like a popular bottle service girl at AMP. If I want to do all that stuff, you know, it takes time, it takes money, it takes energy, it takes, you know, it you sacrifice a lot. But I'm learning literally this lesson you've already learned, I'm learning it right now, the hard way, you know, because I'm starting to sacrifice more and more.

SPEAKER_02 41:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 41:51

And I feel like that sacrifice for me um is starting to affect my mental health. But it sounds like for you, it doesn't really, because you see it as like a worthwhile thing, you don't really see it as like a negative thing because you're like, this is how I level up to the next. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 42:03

I I kind of view it like uh if I if I were to put it into an analogy, like it's kind of like uh planting like a seed, and um you have to keep you have to pay attention to it, you have to keep watering it, you have to put a fertilizer in it like constantly. Like I feel like deep inside, like like no matter what, like everybody knows like or has a an idea of what they want to do. People like people have a dream that they want to chase, or or something like that. Like, I feel like the difference of like what separates people with like actually like getting there or the dreams as being dreams, like affirmative action. Like if you have an idea, like you have to like you have to be on it, like absolutely yeah, like everybody knows like the first few baby steps of like what it takes to, you know, but like like for example, if you wanted to start this podcast, right? Like, a you have to know where you have to look for a space to record a podcast, you have to figure out different ideas of what you want to talk about, you have to like make a logo, learn how to edit videos, like the there's a sacrifice in in that because a you you have to spend your time, energy, resource, like figuring like all that wouldn't out, right?

SPEAKER_03 43:15

I love that. Yeah, I'm gonna clip that. That was great. Yeah, thank you. That was perfect. Wow, that's a viral clip clip right there. I'm serious. You know, no, I love that. And I actually was gonna say too, like when we were talking about sacrificing relationships, like that was actually something I was really excited to kind of chat with you about today because we're both in relationships. Um, Daniel's dating this beautiful, uh, beautiful girl named Charlotte. We love her. I'm dating this beautiful, beautiful man named Cameron. He's very handsome man. He's a handsome man, that one.

SPEAKER_00 43:41

He's a good looking guy.

SPEAKER_03 43:42

He's a good looking guy. Yeah, so it's a good looking girl. And so, you know, when you were saying you sacrifice relationships, did you mean more like friendships, or do you feel like you sacrifice parts of your relationship? Because even when I'm thinking about the sacrifices that I've made recently with these things that I want to pursue, um, or in order to do these things that I want to pursue, like I'm Sacrificing parts of my relationship, but not like not in like necessarily bad ways, but I I don't have as much time to give to my partner, right? Because I'm more focused on myself and you know building my brand and everything like that. So gossip. Have you ever made any sacrifice like that? Like, yeah, or just like do you mean more like friends?

SPEAKER_00 44:18

Yeah, I think I can like answer that question to like how you're how you're framing that question. But in terms of like how you're how you're framing that question, like for me, I think it's like where my attention goes to. Like uh majority of my attention goes to like uh finding new music, finding or educating myself on certain cultures within like the music where like sending messages out for people to come to my stuff like Thursday to Monday and then finding like uh bottle service vendors and then uh talking to like multiple different teams, like it's a relationship like based kind of game, right? So um like maintaining relationships and everything and uh a lot of back and forth communication for sure, right? Like it's it's very uh time consuming for sure. And then like yeah, uh and so what I mean by attention is like all my energy is like like she'll literally she can literally like vouch like I'm on my phone like 24-7, like so like I I feel bad. We were literally just out together and like shopping, like or she was uh yeah, we're out and about and just handling some stuff, but um, yeah, she'd like be like yo babe, like what do you think of this? And then I was literally on my phone, like like copy, copying, pasting messages, and then or like recommunicating something with somebody, right? And right, this is something that I'm genuinely trying to work on, but uh as when I'm when I'm booked like five days in a row, it's like it's pretty tough, but when I'm booked like maybe like three, like three days within the week, it's easier to manage. So it really depends, but how busy the week is. But uh on those uh days where I'm not as busy, right? And things are just a little bit calm, like I'll I'll find we we just grabbed Korean barbecue like last week, just us too and like I'll try to find stuff like that. Or um, she'll just communicate with me. Like, hey, I'm feeling like I'm feeling she'll just communicate with me. I'm feeling like neglected right now, or like I I just feel like like DJing has been taking like majority of your time. Like like when you when you have a second and everything, like I I'd love to do this. Some quality time together, right? The the duality of what she or based on what she communicates with me, I'll get I'll kind of get two things. Like I'll get like okay, like I'm spending a little bit like I'm spending way too much time like doing all of this. Like I have to wholeheartedly like agree with that. And then another aspect of it is like you kind of need to do yeah, the stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then I actually just wanted to ask you a question.

SPEAKER_03 46:47

So uh I'd love I love answering. Yeah, um give a good answer.

SPEAKER_00 46:51

So sometimes like uh like for me, like I I perceive this as like work, right? Like this is to me, it's just like a job that um I'm I happen to be good at, right? Like uh like DJing, yeah, yeah. And not just that, but like bringing people out, like both guys and girls, right? How do you feel? How do you feel when um Cameron, like you know, I saw this clip online, like that I've got Cameron's, yeah. Cameron's like, you know, he's like messaging like other girls, but it's out of out of like business because he has to, you know.

SPEAKER_03 47:22

Yeah, I hate it. I really hate it, and I'm sure Charlotte hates it too. Like, I'm sure she hates it. Yeah, and I can't blame her. I'm I'm Team Charlotte there because like I I really do hate it. Yeah, it's it's so tough because I think a lot of people, oh my god, someone commented this on that clip. Actually, it was like when you thought it was a connection, but it was customer service. Like, it's tough because I think a lot of people misinterpret now, like when you're nice, yeah, as you, you know, coming onto them or like you flirting or something like that. And now that I've been in the industry for long enough, I realize that's like not the case. But I don't know, it's cut, it's it's still like it still gets to me sometimes, you know. Like I know in that last, I think I think it was like that episode with Kira's talking about how I'm like I've accepted it and like I've accepted it, but I still don't like it. And I think I can hold space for two things, you know. I've accepted that it's a part of his job, and I understand that, you know, there's obviously boundaries there if he talks to a girl inappropriately or like is flirting, like that's not okay. Yeah, but I understand he's gonna have to be like friendly. But because I don't like it, like I just, you know, we have each other's passwords, like you can go through my phone, I can go through his. Like I that's like kind of how we build trust there and everything. I know if I really wanted to, I could just go through, and I I mean, I have before, but if I want, I can help myself, who wouldn't, you know? Yeah, um, sue me. But I I think that's like that knowing that I could do that if I wanted to kind of gives me that peace of mind. And when I have gone through in the past, I haven't found anything. Like I, you know, already do trust Cameron, but I think that adds like a whole other layer to it.

SPEAKER_02 48:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 48:51

But I've accepted that I don't like it. Cameron, on the other hand, he's a very secure man. Yeah, he does not care. He does not, it's not like he doesn't care, but he just he, I think he really does trust me so much. Like for him, he doesn't even think to like check the stuff or like go through my phone. Like he just trusts exactly what I'm saying because I have always just been honest with him, then he has to, he has to do this in order to like succeed, you know. And now because we've been together for seven years, like I see his success as my success. I'm like, if more girls come to the club, you know, or if like, and again, he's asking them to come in a in a nice way. Yeah, um, but if girls come to the club and he's messaging guys too to come, right? Yeah, but if more people come to the club, um, he does better. And that means that I get a, you know, more that's like sushi money, you know. That's like more money for sushi, that's more money for massages, that's more money for us together and to like build together in the future, you know, and like buy a house together. So I think that kind of helps me feel a bit better about it.

SPEAKER_00 49:44

Right.

SPEAKER_03 49:45

But how does how does Charlotte feel about it?

SPEAKER_00 49:47

We're actually on like literally on the same like basing with that, like it's more like yeah, like baby steps, like with uh not that we should compare it, but like in comparison, like we're at like baby steps with um like how how you and Cameron are doing, like yeah.

SPEAKER_03 50:02

You're kind of like starting that scale, right? Yeah, I think what really honestly gets to me sometimes is like, and this is actually something I was like, I was actually gonna make a whole video about this, and I was like, no, that's crazy town. I'm just gonna talk about it on my podcast. Um, but there's this rumor for a while that Cam and I were in an open relationship. And there's probably crazy, yeah, evil. And that was going around for a while, like a few years ago.

SPEAKER_02 50:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 50:23

And that really, when I heard about that, that really broke my heart. And I like freaked out at camera and I was like, what are you doing? And I was like, why is this like rumor coming about? Like, because normally you think rumors kind of come from somewhere. But the longer I've been in the industry, I realized like sometimes rumors come from nothing. But I think there's a lot of speculation when you kind of put yourself out there, like you're putting yourself there out there as a DJ. There's a lot of speculation from other people. Like, if you don't post Charlotte all the time, or if you don't post her enough, like, you know, people are start to like think or judge, you know, or think certain things, you know. Or like if maybe you message a girl, like you can't help the way that she perceives it, but she might think, like, oh, like he wants me to come out to his DJ set, you know. And that's and that's not what you're that's not what you're you're just like, no, like come to my set. Like you're trying to get everyone to get it.

SPEAKER_00 51:09

Like uh I kind of just view it as like what's like part of it is like it's just not working, like sales and hospitality. That's kind of just how I I I view things.

SPEAKER_03 51:17

Exactly. You can't be in this industry and just like choose to talk to one gender, like it just unfortunately doesn't work like that. But yeah, that that rumor really got to me, and I think there's a lot of speculation around our relationship. Like, um, I've heard things like about Cameron not posting me enough, or I don't post him enough, or we're you know, because sometimes we're a bit more private about our relationship than other couples, like people think that we've like broken up.

SPEAKER_00 51:40

I think that it's like very solid that you got you two have like as far as like you're telling me the way that you two like handle things like like privately and go go things like about that. I think that's that's pretty like amazing. Because I I feel like right now, like I I genuinely hope you don't take this as like a backhanded way, but like I feel like everybody right now is just like throwing their throwing literally like everything that they're doing online and on social media. Oh nothing. I think there's like it's so true. Like a balance, there should be like a balance of things, right? Like, but in terms like of like a relationship, right? Like that's just that's that's for you and your partner, right? Like, yeah, like it's it's a very intimate thing.

SPEAKER_03 52:18

And I think it's like it's totally like it's different relationships like have like different levels of like what they're comfortable posting. Like Kevin and I will post each other, but the thing is like with social media is like unfortunately when you do put yourself out there, like you just open yourself up to criticism or and judgment and like speculation, unfortunately. Yeah, which is kind of that's that's not the not so fun part about being in a relationship in the industry. And I was gonna actually ask, like with you and Charlotte, like how do you guys kind of build trust there, you know? Because it seems like you guys have a very healthy relationship from my perspective.

SPEAKER_00 52:50

But again, she's kind of just there, like since like the beginning of she come to all your sets and stuff, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 52:56

Yeah, she's a real one.

SPEAKER_00 52:57

I think it's just like naturally, like she just understood, like, all right, I have to do this, I have to do that. Like in between the time I'm like packing up and coming here, this the amount of like time it's gonna take, all that whatnot. She knows at the end of the day, like we actually established this boundary that um after I finished my sets that I'd go over to her crib or she'd over she'd come to mine. Or something like that, and so you always see each other, yeah. Pretty much.

SPEAKER_03 53:21

Oh, I love that. Yeah, yeah. That's great, because then you just know you know who you're going home, you know that you guys are just coming home to each other at the end of the day.

SPEAKER_00 53:28

Yeah, at the end of the day, like Mo is gonna like go back home to her, right?

SPEAKER_03 53:31

So like Cam and I live together, and I feel like that also helps too. Not that to be honest, I've I've trusted Cameron like the entire time we've been together. But I mean, it's hard when you hear this kind of stuff, it like shakes your trust a little bit. Yeah. Have you ever had any moments like that with like your relationship where you've heard like a rumor or something that's like shaking the relationship a bit?

SPEAKER_00 53:52

Yeah, I've I've had those uh a few of those, like maybe like I think maybe around like the same time last year, but like when I heard it, I just like somebody asked me and I just like shut it down like it just straight like that.

SPEAKER_03 54:04

Good for you.

SPEAKER_00 54:05

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 54:06

And that's how it should be. And that's what Caron does too. He always goes, have a girlfriend. Yeah, no, but it's tough because like it's not like when you're in those spaces, it's not like the first thing you're doing, you're not talking about your relationship right away, you're talking about what you're doing, right? Like, so I feel like it's hard because your relationship doesn't come up right away. You know, people sometimes then interpret like, oh, like are they not in a relationship, or if they are, like, you know, but it's hard to like just naturally bring that up in a conversation, you know. 100%, yeah. But if it gets to that point, of course, always yeah, of course.

SPEAKER_00 54:36

Like obviously, like, I'm not gonna like like you know, yeah, it's pretty weird to just out of out the blue and just be like, oh yeah, I have a girlfriend, by the way. But like, no, if it if there's something that like's borderline, like uh like pushing my like boundaries, then I'll be like, I'll I'll I'll naturally just like sneak in, like, yeah, but no, my girlfriend thinks that too. Yeah, there's something like no literally like that, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 55:00

Yeah, that's good. That's that's also how I kind of sneak in and that I do that at AMP all the time when the guy's like, Oh, like what are you doing later? I'm like cleaning, and then you know, I'm gonna go probably home to my boyfriend.

SPEAKER_02 55:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 55:09

And that's on period, you know. Yeah, that's kind of how I sneak it in. Yeah, it's and the conversation. Yeah, and then sometimes guys are like, oh, okay, nice.

SPEAKER_00 55:17

And like they Yeah, do you ever just like feel the energy change like after absolutely, absolutely.

SPEAKER_03 55:22

They're like, Don't come, don't talk to me. Yeah, mostly though, no. I honestly do feel like a lot of the people that come into AMPM, a lot of the guys that I know there are actually people that I know and I really do like.

SPEAKER_02 55:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 55:32

And people that a lot of the people now that that I think come in like know Cam and I too. And so they really respect like my relationship, which I really love, you know, I really love that. But yeah, I think something I've just like learned over time with like relationships too in the industry is like I can't help the way other people perceive, you know, what's going on, you know. Like if someone perceives Cameron as flirting, you know, even though I know he's not and he knows. Cameron's just he's just very nice, he's just a very nice, attractive guy. Yeah, and I've someone perceives me as flirting because I'm nice and I'm you know, I'm drinking with them, or like I'm meeting them on a night out and I'm telling them to come to AMP I'm getting their Instagram. Yeah, if they perceive that as flirting, and I can understand how that could be perceived as flirting, you know, I know what my intentions are and I know what I'm doing, and I know that I'm still like establishing and maintaining like the fact that I have a relationship like the whole time. Yeah, you know what I mean? But yeah, that's just something I've learned, I've learned uh over the years. Yeah. It's taken a while though. It's taken a while. I've been meaning to have I'm so happy we had this conversation because I was meaning to kind of get that out there. Yeah, yeah. Cause again, we're in similar positions, right? Like we're both in the industry, we're both in relationships, like, you know, it's not for the weak. Are you a jealous person? You don't strike me as jealous. Oh, really?

SPEAKER_00 56:43

Yeah, I get like if I if I see uh I'm not gonna name no names, but like yeah, it would be like a certain like like men, yeah, certain few guys. Like I know, like I knew like knock on wood, like if I were to like break up with like uh or something were to happen, like they like hounce on it. Like I don't know that for sure, but I can feel that energy. Like I'm I'm sure like you have that like same like feeling where like like a two, three people like have they just don't exactly have the best intention like for the relationship.

SPEAKER_03 57:14

And then we kind of have like oh my god, I have that girls all the time will come up to me and they're like, Oh my god, you were so lucky that you're with Cameron. I'm like, Are you serious? Are you are you seriously saying that to me right now? Or they'll be like, oh my god, your boyfriend's so cute, you're so cute. And like I can just feel it. I'm like, it's just kind of like sometimes I think people you can feel it when people mean well, but you can also feel when people like it's there's like this underlying like I'm like you're into my man, and like you're just trying to be you're just trying to say something to me, you know, and get under my skin a little bit. The worst is I used to get this all the time, and I still get this actually, and it honestly is really hurtful when I get this. But people will say to me, You're so luckier with Cameron. And I mean, I I am like I I know I am, you know, he's an amazing man. Like I love him down. He's so great in so many ways. But I feel like when people say that to me without saying anything about myself or like saying anything about my character, right? Um, I feel like it really, it really makes me feel that they think that Cameron's way better than me, you know, better looking, more successful, kinder. Um, and that yeah, like he's a catch and I'm not, you know. And so that can be that can be really hurtful. And that's something like I now when people say that to me, I I kind of just call them out on it. I'm like, that's like kind of rude, you know. But I think people actually gen genuinely in the past have meant it with like good intentions, you know. I think they think they mean well, you know? Yeah, or they're trying to be nice, they're trying to like compliment my boyfriend, but I'm like, it's by doing that.

SPEAKER_00 58:39

The tone, like the tone the way they say it, and plus like, yeah, I I'm sure like certain people, like depending on who it is, they don't mean it in like a like a negative kind of way. I just don't think they like realize like like how kind of low-key kind of it kind of does sound backhanded.

SPEAKER_03 58:54

Oh my god, so backhanded. Yeah, exactly. But I think I do think that most people don't mean it in a bad way. Yeah, even sometimes still I get like DMs, like when I post camera, guys, guys, men will message respond back to it, respond to my story and be like, oh my god, your boyfriend's so hot. I'm like, guys who've never even responded to pictures of me. I'm like, okay, thank you. Okay, so we're almost out of time for today. So I think just my last question for you is what advice would you give to an aspiring DJ or someone who was in your position maybe a couple years ago? What's one thing that you would tell them?

SPEAKER_00 59:26

Yeah, and there's there's a lot. Um, I'm just gonna narrow it down to this before the club even opens. Go to the DJ and ask to stand and uh more so go to the clubs with just like one DJ on the lineup, ask to just just go like, hey, um, I'm an aspiring DJ. I I wanna just learn how you like conduct the night. Stay there from literally like start to finish and just keep doing that for like at least two months. Invest in your record pools, find a mentor, you're not gonna be able to like do this without a mentor, yeah. Absolutely. You definitely can't. Like, uh the only reason why I'm here is like I've had a lot of supportive people like you know, you, Cameron, Benny, um, ESP, uh, Michelle Breck, a few others. I I can't name all of them on the top of my head, but like success doesn't just come from like you know one person, it comes from like a community of people like behind you, like supporting you, right? So yeah, naturally you're gonna find like at first it's gonna seem like lonely, but you're gonna find like the right people along the way. Uh keep doing your homework, like uh meaning like research the the community that you're part of, research and look into the music that you're playing, study the crowd. There's a lot of different like niches and stuff. Oh, learn the equipment, learn how to troubleshoot equipment. There's there's a lot of different things, but I'm gonna just keep it at that so that I love that. Like listening, all great things though. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, oh, and overall just be a nice person.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:51

Just you can't you can never go wrong there, right? You're gonna go really far, honestly, if you're a kind person.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:55

Yeah, you know, like obviously have boundaries and don't let anybody like like push you around and shit, but like be kind, like yeah, just be kind, like have have etiquette, like just have have etiquette and you'll you'll go like pretty far.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:07

I love that. I was gonna say thank you so much for popping by today, Daniel. And you know, of course, it's like having my little brother on set, it's the best.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:16

Before we end, um, yeah, I I know I told you this before we started recording, but yeah, Charlotte and I kind of view like you and Cameron as are like like like reading buddies, like something like that. Yeah. Mentors, yeah, yeah, mentors, mentors.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:28

The old, yeah, no, I I know what you're talking about, right? Like in high school, when like you are like meant like the grade sixes are like hanging out with the kindergarten kids, you know.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:37

Stuff like that, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:38

Yeah, no, and I'm I we're happy to do it. We're happy to do it. I see you and Charlotte becoming the next me and Cameron a couple of years from now.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:44

Oh, thank you so much.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:45

I see it, I see it. But if you guys want to learn more about Daniel, and if um yeah, you want to follow him on Instagram, you can follow him at Danielbut D V.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:54

D V N I L and then just star.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:57

There we go. Um, on Instagram. And if you want to hear a bit more from me, you can follow me on Spotify and Apple Podcasts at Club Therapy and on YouTube at Club Therapy and on Instagram at Club Therapy Pod. Yeah, thanks so much for your time today, and bye guys.

unknown 1:02:12

See ya.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:12

Easy, take care.