breaking down bottle service with julia barbs

In this episode I am joined by my sweet friend Julia (@juliaabarbs)! Julia is one of Torontos iconic bottle service girls, and has worked at a plethora of popular Toronto clubs (lost and found, Efs, future, ultraviolet etc) while balancing a career as a medical esthetician. We get into all things bottle service, balancing our day jobs with our night jobs, the pressure to be social, establishing emotional intelligence, setting emotional boundaries and so much more! I absolutely love this episode and Julia and I hope you guys love it too :) 

 If you are experiencing a crisis please phone Crisis Services Canada at 1-833-456-4566, or text HOME to 686868 in Canada to text with a trained Crisis Responder.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:01

You are now tuned into Club Therapy with Emily Chan. Batty recognizes a baddie. And when I first met Julia, I knew I was gonna love her. Her and I go back a few years when we worked in an underground dispensary together in someone's apartment during COVID. TBT. Yeah, TBT. That's how we first met. So welcome back to Club Therapy. Our Misty was, and I hope you miss me. Today we have Miss Julia Barbs here. Hey. Um, Julia is one of Future's main bottle servers and also is a medical aesthetician at Bar Beauty. Welcome. Thanks for having me. Thanks for coming. I was so excited to talk with you just because I know you've been in the industry for so long, right? Like just like me. Like very long. How too long?

SPEAKER_01 0:51

I want to say since like 2017, 2018. Okay, period. Me too. Yeah. Did you start doing bottle service right away, or did you kind of work your way up to it? No. So I actually started as a bartender. Oh, nice. And like I went to Queens. So I lived in Kingston. So as my university job, I was bartending there. And then I was like, oh my God, I can make way more money if I bartend in Toronto. So I came to Toronto to bartend. And you're so smart. I actually started bartending at a club that no longer exists, but it was a disaster, and they were like stealing money from me. So like, huh? Yep. No. Oh I was like, oh bleep it. No, I love that place. Definitely not. It's a place that no longer exists, like before that. Um, but they were stealing money from me and taking advantage of me. They're like, oh, this girl doesn't know about Toronto. Like, you could steal money from her.

SPEAKER_00 1:44

I feel like so many clubs do that. Like, I feel like it's so like it's kind of like one of those unspoken, not obviously most clubs don't, but I feel like some clubs will, like, especially like they definitely like the sketchier clubs. Like they'll take your tips.

SPEAKER_01 1:56

Like they'd always be like, Oh, you owe this much money. And I'm like, why?

SPEAKER_00 1:59

How do I owe money?

SPEAKER_01 2:00

We don't know. It's just what the math shows. And then I would just I'd I just knew that that's not how much money I should be going home with. So anyway, I was like, fuck this. I'm gonna try doing bottle service instead because I feel like there's way more money in that. So then I applied to Lost and Found, and then I went there, and then that's how I kind of got in the industry.

SPEAKER_00 2:19

Cause then after that, you went lost and found, EFS.

SPEAKER_01 2:23

Actually, I went to Lavelle for a couple months, and that was not no.

SPEAKER_00 2:28

I literally don't know one person.

SPEAKER_01 2:29

Like not a vibe for me.

SPEAKER_00 2:31

That wasn't it.

SPEAKER_01 2:32

No. No, it's I quit after two months and went to EFS.

SPEAKER_00 2:35

You had to?

SPEAKER_01 2:36

Yeah, I had to. Yeah. I I had they made me like a server, a food busser of babe. I can't picture you doing food busing. I can't picture you doing that. I'm like, this isn't what I signed up for.

SPEAKER_00 2:47

No, that place is huge. I feel like every single person I've talked to that's worked at LaBelle, they've all said it's been a couple weeks to a couple months, and they'll say like it's it was like the worst experience ever.

SPEAKER_01 2:57

It was I would literally go home crying. That's I don't know if they're still like that. Like maybe they're a completely different structure now, but at the time? At the time, I worked at a place like that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 3:08

Low-key. I worked at, I actually helped open Pizza Wine Disco. I don't know if you knew that. I didn't know that. Yeah, I I was kind of uh private about it. I was private about it. But when you helped open it, so like I was like there, so I was doing bottle service there, and I like started doing like when they first opened and they were hiring and stuff like that. I applied and they hired me as a bottle service girl, and then I started doing like I just like helped like while they were opening. Like I did bottle service like most days there, and then I still was like working, I was like working there like once or twice a week for the first like couple of months, but I only lasted a few months there. I had no idea. Yeah. Have you did you go to Pizza Mindisca? Did you ever go?

SPEAKER_01 3:46

Yes, I've been once.

SPEAKER_00 3:47

Yeah. I feel twice. When it first opened, it was really like I feel like it was like a bit of a spot because like the owners were really like prolific, right? Like a lot of people know who like the owners are because it's owned by like Liberty, the Liberty Group, I think.

SPEAKER_01 4:01

I think I only went like at the beginning. They had like a artist, I forget who.

SPEAKER_00 4:05

Oh yeah, they'd have like big artists all the time.

SPEAKER_01 4:07

Yeah. So we went for like a staff outing with UV, and then that's why I went there, but um, I had no idea you worked there.

SPEAKER_00 4:14

Yeah, I was there for a little bit. Clear like I'm like, I've I've blacked out, and and I there was one time I got blackout drunk at AMP, but I charged the same table twice. And they're like, is this really happening? And I was like, yeah, pay again. Yeah, and I and I was for real, and I made them pay again. And they're just like like I went to two separate people the table and I made them pay twice because I was so blackout drunk.

SPEAKER_01 4:34

And like, did you we can did you like refund them?

SPEAKER_00 4:37

Yeah, and we refunded them. And like there's been times where I've been really drunk and like I fucked up, like I fucked up like um with like telling people about like the auto gratuity, right? And then I forgot to tell them and then they tipped on top and asked for the tip back so then I paid it back.

SPEAKER_01 4:50

A rule for you guys that you have to like go out of your way to like tell them.

SPEAKER_00 4:54

Yeah, we have to like be like pretty clear about it. Either we show it like while we're showing them the machine or we say it. Right.

SPEAKER_01 5:00

But I mean, when you're drunk, I just bring the bill and I'm like like this. You can see it. That's kind of what I do sometimes. Tell them like what it is.

SPEAKER_00 5:09

Um can I be honest? That's what I do most of the time. Yeah, but we're supposed to.

SPEAKER_01 5:14

You're supposed to, but I don't want to discourage people or make them think that like I'm going out of my way to tell them, like, don't give me extra money because like you know, I'll even break it down for them. I'll be like, there's 20%. We can go half.

SPEAKER_00 5:27

I make it clear. Like, I'm like, hey, like, this is the bill. Like, I'm like, and I'm pointing, I'm like, because it's also so loud, sometimes people can't hear. So I'm pointing, I'm like, this is the oh my god, my stomach's out, my tummy's out. Um, I'm like, that's close here. I'm like, you're so smart, babe. I'm also like literally so white right now. You're like, no one look. But like I will try to make sure people can see that, you know, that they're like I I make it obvious, but like sometimes I don't exactly directly say it, but we are supposed to, and I do try to like most of the time, you know. Um, but sometimes yeah, I am really drunk and I'm just I'm not thinking and I forget to say it, or I like don't make it obvious. I just hand them the machine. Yeah, not so much now, but in the past. And then they've asked for the tip back, and then I have to pay back. Yeah, and then it comes out of mine.

SPEAKER_01 6:11

I tell I like make it clear. I'm like, there's 20%, but just so you know, we don't keep the whole 20%, so anything you give me on top is like it goes directly to me. Because you guys pool, right? No, oh you guys only on some days, but like mostly no. Oh but I still tell them like you don't pool, that's so nice. It's nice sometimes, but like on certain days we will if it's like a special event or like a random Tuesday or something, like yeah, but yeah, that's so nice.

SPEAKER_00 6:38

I kind of I like parts of pooling, but I feel like sometimes it's you take a L. Yeah, you take an L sometimes because sometimes like an L on on pool nights a lot, right? Because like you'll get like a big tip and you're like amazing.

SPEAKER_01 6:49

You're like, that's like I can't wait to do it. You win some and you lose some because you never know on some nights where it's like unevenly distributed through the club. Like you never know if you're gonna be the section that has a lot or the section that doesn't have you're all just helping each other, so you might as well just pool.

SPEAKER_00 7:05

That's true. Yeah, I do feel like it it creates like a good sense of community. Like at I've always worked at places that pool, like even at Pizza One Disco, like we pooled there. Um, we pool at AMPM, and I think it's good because it it encourages us, um, encourages us all to like work together and help each other, and it's like less competitive that way, but I do feel like there's there's been moments not necessarily at a MPM, but at other places where I'm like, oh, it'd be kind of nice to not pool because like these people are like not pulling their weight, like come on.

SPEAKER_01 7:34

But you like make such consistent money by pooling, right? Like it's true. You never have a bad night. We could have a bad night, like I can have a hundred dollar night, you know? Are you serious?

SPEAKER_00 7:43

Yes, and have you?

SPEAKER_01 7:44

Yes, of course. We all have, we've all had like horrible nights, but also that's true when we have really good nights, it's like a lot higher than probably like the average pooling, right?

SPEAKER_00 7:54

That's true. I feel like we are consistently. I'm like, should I even say it on fucking?

SPEAKER_01 7:58

I think you told me before, and I was like, that's pretty good actually for pooling.

SPEAKER_00 8:02

We're consistently, should we just be transparent about what we make on the podcast? Fuck it. I make consistently doing bottle service, I make between like it really depends on the night, but it's anywhere between it. Honestly, could sometimes even be four. It's rare that it's four. It has to be a pretty dead night. Yeah. But on like average, like six to eight hundred dollars on crazy nights, like eight to a thousand.

SPEAKER_01 8:24

Like that's like a good average for us too. Like to like if we make between six and eight hundred, we're like, okay, you know what? Like, I'm happy that that's good. If we make more than that, between like one and two thousand dollars, that's amazing.

SPEAKER_00 8:35

But like you, I feel like have the potential to make, I think at the clubs that you work at, like, I feel like the the minimums are higher, the spends are higher.

SPEAKER_01 8:42

Like the spenders coming in are like there's definitely so much potential to make a lot of money all the time. But I'm just saying, like, the lows that we have kind of balance it out because like there's always like anyone could have like a shitty night where like their section just isn't spending or whatever. So like, yeah, it is a gamble.

SPEAKER_00 9:01

Cause like you actually just can't predict. Exactly.

SPEAKER_01 9:04

I feel like you fit into AMPM so well. Like you're just like it's like they hand kick you guys for real. Because I'm late sometimes, yeah, they do.

SPEAKER_00 9:12

Well, obviously they do, but like Asian, they're like Asians and the Oassians, they're like, yeah, you specifically, yeah. I I do that's so true. I really feel like I I fit in at AMPM. I feel like do you feel like you fit in at future?

SPEAKER_01 9:24

Do you feel like like that's your family, that's your people? Yeah, like I'm just so used to it, and like I'm just so used to working with all the girls there that like yeah, I I can't imagine being somewhere else. And I like you seem happy there. Yeah, I think of like other staff at other venues, and I like I'm like, I don't think that it would be the same, you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_00 9:41

Honestly, and it's true because like not every venue is like that. Like at Pizza Windisco, I could feel that I wasn't aligning with everyone there, or just like I was wasn't fitting in the environment because like there's a lot of like yeah, yeah, UFS was good.

SPEAKER_01 9:54

UV and ultraviolet or sorry, UV, UV and future were good. Like for me, like that's where I felt the most like at home.

SPEAKER_00 10:02

Cause I feel like you'll like hang out with people like outside of the venue. Like, I I see slash feel like you're close with the servers there.

SPEAKER_01 10:09

Yeah, I am.

SPEAKER_00 10:10

I love the servers there. I only know a few of them, but they're so funny. The ones like I love Brianna.

SPEAKER_01 10:14

Yeah, I haven't seen Brianna.

SPEAKER_00 10:16

I love her.

SPEAKER_01 10:17

How many girls work at Future? I have no idea. I lost now, and then it's that many. No, it's not that many, but like people come and go too, and then some people like Brianna used to go on vacation a lot, and I'd be like, What's happening? Is she here anymore? Like there's like new girls now, so I like I don't know, maybe like two. I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 10:33

But it's like people like kind of cycling in and out.

SPEAKER_01 10:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 10:36

At AMP, it's a bit different. We've had the same team of like six. No, actually, we have eight girls, eight, nine servers now.

SPEAKER_01 10:43

Um, that's kind of a lot.

SPEAKER_00 10:45

It's kind of a lot, but it's the one of the servers is also like a sparkler girl, so she kind of subs in serving that like we really need her. Yeah. And then there's one girl that only works on we do like Chinese, specifically like Chinese events there, where like like lots of like um people like speak Mandarin. Like you kind of we kind of need a server that speaks Mandarin, so we have her dress for that night. Okay, and then occasion occasionally, yeah, like she'll sub in and everything, but she's the best. But yeah, we kind of have like randomly a lot, but we only each work once a week. Like it's very rare for someone to work like more than yeah. So everyone has a set day basically.

SPEAKER_01 11:18

You normally work once a week?

SPEAKER_00 11:19

Yeah, okay. Like we used to have like maybe four or five girls, and then we'd work like pretty often. But now, yeah, it's only like once a week. So everyone has like their set days. Like mine's Saturday, which is like my favorite day. It's kind of like it's kind of like a big day, it's kind of like the big day, you know. Like, I feel like Saturdays, like, I feel like the the minimums are higher.

SPEAKER_01 11:36

How many days a week are you open?

SPEAKER_00 11:38

Um, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday. Okay, yeah, so just four.

SPEAKER_01 11:41

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 11:42

What's the big day at future? What's like the most popular day at future?

SPEAKER_01 11:45

Friday.

SPEAKER_00 11:46

Really?

SPEAKER_01 11:47

Well, we're open so often. So like most people have like on average three shifts a week. Oh wow, that's like even on busy weeks, sometimes we get like four. But because of my other job, I was like, listen, guys, like I can't be doing that anymore. So, like, ideally, if you could just schedule me like Friday and Saturday, like I'm good with that. You're like, that's perfect. I can't, I'll I'll die. Like, I'll literally die. So I've only been working like Friday and Saturdays recently. If it's a long weekend, like this week, I'm also working Sunday, but um like special, special occasions, that's the most I can do.

SPEAKER_00 12:21

Yeah, because we have limits for it. And honestly, we were just actually talking about this right before we started filming, but when you also have like a day job and you have to like switch schedules, like you go home, and I know you guys will do like 4 a.m. sometimes. So you're going home at like sometimes, oh, is it all the time?

SPEAKER_01 12:36

We only have 4 a.m.

SPEAKER_00 12:38

Yeah, like that's brutal.

SPEAKER_01 12:39

Yeah, I sleep at like 6 a.m.

SPEAKER_00 12:41

It's yeah, and then like you're getting up at like what like probably 10 to like go work or 7 or 11.

SPEAKER_01 12:46

Sometimes if I work the next day, I have to wait. Like I try to push clients back so that I don't have to sleep, but I can't really, but still, if I have a client at 12, I still have to wake up at what 10:30. If I sleep at 6, like that's not Do you get like do you get stressed with that? Or yeah, I do. I get really stressed.

SPEAKER_00 13:01

How do you manage that? Do you just try to like like push clients back? Yeah, like really work.

SPEAKER_01 13:06

I do my best to try to like if I know it's a weekend or something, I'll try to schedule them starting later, but I don't always have control over that.

SPEAKER_00 13:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 13:15

Because you know, if my manager books me someone at like 12, I'm not gonna say, like, oh, I'm sleepy. Can you push them back? Like, no, I have I'm gonna have to take them. So it just it is what it is.

SPEAKER_00 13:23

And you just have to wake up.

SPEAKER_01 13:25

People love coming in on Saturday, so yeah, that's just kind of what it's been. But it's only like I only deal with that maybe like one day a week or two days a week where I double up.

SPEAKER_00 13:33

I feel like that's doable, but just one or two days.

SPEAKER_01 13:35

But it's still a lot, it's still a lot. Like sometimes I'm like, oh, I need a vacation, like I just need to be for like two weeks.

SPEAKER_00 13:41

No, because I feel like doing doubles too, even every now and then. Like, I do a double every Saturday. I work all day doing therapy, and then Saturday night I work doing bottle service, but then I have Friday and I have Sunday off, which is really nice. So I have like Friday to rest. Maybe one day, maybe one day, but I know it's it's hard when you don't control your own schedule. Like you can like say when I want.

SPEAKER_01 14:01

Like I do when I don't, you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_00 14:03

Yeah, you can like have influence over it.

SPEAKER_01 14:05

Yeah, yeah, exactly. Like it depending on what I book. But if someone else books, like what am I supposed to do?

SPEAKER_00 14:10

Yeah, you can't say no.

SPEAKER_01 14:11

Like if someone books online or calls the clinic and I'm not the one answering, like they're gonna offer. Yeah, exactly. But this week I have Friday during the day, Friday night, Saturday during the day, Saturday night. Sunday I don't work during the day, but I have Sunday night. That's like I don't that's a lot for me.

SPEAKER_00 14:29

That's a lot. I think that's a lot for anyone, babe. That would, I think that would send me into a panic attack. Psychosis or psychosis, literally psychosis.

SPEAKER_01 14:36

Praying for myself this week. I just don't want to think about it.

SPEAKER_00 14:39

Yeah, I feel like it's one of those things when you're actually doing it because I've had weekends like that too beforehand. I used to take a ton of vibe, and I would like I'd just wake up, take a vibe, go. I do, I do too.

SPEAKER_01 14:47

I'll take an adderall Sundays. I'm like, all right. Yeah, you're like, I'm locked in. I gotta lock the fuck in. I have to work all day. There's so many people to see, things to do, conversations to be had. Like I have to take it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 15:00

But like I feel like over time, it does, it does like sometimes have if that's your weekend every single weekend, like that's a lot, you know. But obviously, it's not your weekend every week.

SPEAKER_01 15:09

I'm trying to like balance it out now a little bit more. Hopefully, um we're gonna get somebody else also working at the clinic. Because right now, at the very moment, it's just me. So hopefully, if someone else comes in, I'm gonna have to.

SPEAKER_00 15:21

Any medical aestheticians, if you're good, hit if you're good, hit her up. Barbie? No, yeah, barbeauty medical. Barbie medical, that's where that's where to go. I was gonna ask, like, with being in the industry, or do you feel like you're still happy with it? Like, I've been kind of talking about this a lot with like some of my guests about just like longevity in the industry. Like, I used to absolutely love being in the industry. I still love like a lot of parts of it, but like it does, as we're kind of talking about it, does get to you over time. Like, would you say you're happy?

SPEAKER_01 15:50

Yeah, so I think about this a lot. And like originally going into it, I thought that it would just be like a little temporary thing after university, but then it kind of sucks you in. I'm sure you've noticed.

SPEAKER_00 16:02

Oh god, yeah, you especially with bottle service because the money's so good. Like, where else can you do that?

SPEAKER_01 16:07

Exactly. So it's like you want to quit, but then you're like, I wouldn't be making all this money, and then also for me, like I feel like I don't know, I've had to start over so many times in life. Like, I grew up in Saudi. And then Oh my god, are you serious? Yeah, I did.

SPEAKER_00 16:22

No way, I had no idea.

SPEAKER_01 16:24

No, so whatever. I had my whole life there, and then I moved to Canada. I went to Queens, so I have to start over in Kingston. I finished Queens, and then I had to move to Toronto and start over here. And it's just like, you know, going into the industry the second I moved to Toronto like really helped me like form my base, kind of like and all my connections and everything.

SPEAKER_00 16:43

It literally, like, it literally gives you that. Like, I feel like a lot of when people ask me sometimes like how to make friends, I always say get a job in the service industry. Exactly. Because you find your people.

SPEAKER_01 16:52

So, you know, in one way, like I still like it because I feel like it connects me to all these people and some of the best friends I've ever made are from the industry, and like, you know, otherwise I feel like maybe I'd be a little more introverted and I wouldn't have all the connections I have. So, like, in that sense, I kind of love being like forced to be like part of Toronto in that way, but in the other sense, I'm like, it's a lot, you know what I mean? It's a lot for a long time.

SPEAKER_00 17:16

Yes, a hundred percent.

SPEAKER_01 17:17

But that's the only thing about it.

SPEAKER_00 17:19

It is a lot for a long time because I feel like the industry too, like, there's so much, like Toronto's big, but I also say like Toronto's kind of like a high school.

SPEAKER_01 17:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 17:26

Like when you've been in the industry for over, like, we've been in the industry for almost like eight to ten years now. Right.

SPEAKER_01 17:31

That's so crazy.

SPEAKER_00 17:32

Which is disgusting to think about. Oh my god. I also started in 2017, like same as you. Yeah, I don't want to not to age myself, not to age us, but yeah, we've been we've been in the industry for a bit, but like it literally feels like a high school. Like everyone knows everyone, like it's you know, you hear like about all these, like like all the drama between like different people or different places. Like it literally does feel like a little, like a little bit of a bubble. And once you're in the industry, I feel like it's really hard to like get out as I know what you're saying.

SPEAKER_01 17:58

And I'm like almost scared that like I know I'm gonna have to get out eventually. Like, I can't sustain this forever. But like when I do, I'm like, fuck, am I even gonna be like, am I gonna want to go out as much? Like, am I gonna like put that effort to be as social as I am right now? Because right now it's like a lot of pressure to be social, which is like kind of good for me in some ways. But like I feel because like one of my best friends was in the industry, now she's not, and she's like completely she's like minor business, like married with a kid. Oh, because it goes out sometimes once in a while, but she's like completely like different than what she used to be out, like back in the day, like going out all the time and stuff. And I'm like, that'll probably be me, really. That's gonna be you married with a kid, yeah, or just like out of the way, you know, like out of the mix.

SPEAKER_00 18:44

And you want to feel like ready for that, right? If you're like, I'm not a hundred percent there yet, that's totally fine. Yeah, yeah. I know I always kind of give myself, I keep saying, like, by the time I'm 30, 31, maybe, I'm like, I'm gonna be fully out. But like I think I'm gonna stop serving in the next year or two, yeah. And then maybe do something else, like maybe bartend or manage or something for a little bit.

SPEAKER_01 19:03

It's a good thing that we both have like our other job because like when I was just doing bottle service, I had this constant anxiety, like it would weigh on my chest. Like, what am I doing with my life?

SPEAKER_00 19:15

Because oh my god, yeah, because you're like this has a time limit to it. Like we have expiration dates.

SPEAKER_01 19:21

It's also like you associate, like, it's hard to you make your whole identity kind of like yeah, because the environment revolves around attention and appearance, so like it'll feel like your whole value is tied to how like desirable and entertaining you are. And then you're like, what am I outside of that?

SPEAKER_00 19:40

And how hot you are, yeah. Yeah, when there was a period where I was just doing bottle service while I was trying to get a job right after I graduated from my master's. I was still I was working like as a relief worker at Kem H and they would occasionally call me in, but I was barely working there. Yeah. And I actually felt like it makes you feel like kind of like I don't know if the word is like worthless, but it just doesn't, it just doesn't make you feel good about yourself. It makes you feel like all you are is like just a body, a jester. Literally a jester. So you're literally, yeah, you're putting on makeup, you're putting on tiny outfits, like tiny, tiny, you're like making like what am I doing after this?

SPEAKER_01 20:13

And then you're like talking about a washed up bottle girl. I don't have another job, like I don't have anything. So, like mentally, like having another job helped me so much. Like, I just feel so much more aligned and like that's amazing, better.

SPEAKER_00 20:27

And I feel like very successful at what you're doing right now. Like, I feel like you're booked and busy and you're really good at what you do.

SPEAKER_01 20:32

Yeah, thank God. I mean it, you know, like we all start somewhere, but like I really it's something like I was passionate about. So I was like, as long as I'm doing something I really care about, like I'm gonna feel good. You know what I mean? Exactly. I think that's like one of the things for like all the because I know young girls really want to do bottle service and stuff like that. That's something you want to keep in mind because it feels really good at first, but then you kind of get lost in the sauce and you're like, what else it, like, what else am I doing with my life? Like, what else should I do?

SPEAKER_00 21:01

I think it's like if you're gonna do it, be so conscious of the environment you're going into and try to, like, as you're saying, like have something else that you're doing on the side. Like use this as like a supplement, not as like a full time.

SPEAKER_01 21:11

Exactly.

SPEAKER_00 21:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 21:12

Otherwise, you're gonna literally get completely lost in the sauce and not know what to do after.

SPEAKER_00 21:16

Absolutely. So many young girls are I know so many girls. Um, like I'm one of the I'm the bottle service. I'm I'm like the unofficial bottle service manager at AMPM. Like, I I do the schedule, I kind of deal with all the servers, like everything to do with the servers, I deal with it. But like I don't have the official title, but I am. But like I am, you know, and I do like the hiring and and I help Cam with hiring and stuff like that. And there's so many girls that come to me. Like they'll come to me and they're so young and um, you know, they are just so excited. They're like babies, like literally 19 year old like babies, sometimes even like 18, I suspect I suspect. Um, but they'll come to me and they're like, I really want to do bottle service, blah, blah, blah. Like, can I get your Instagram? Like, can we work together? Like, can is there like an opportunity here? And I mean, at the moment, AMPM, we're not hiring. And we haven't hired for a while, to be honest. Like, I feel like we've had like a set group of girls for a really long time now. But even still, I'm like, I don't, I wouldn't feel comfortable hiring someone that young. I feel like you have to like be a bit older and make like an informed decision in order to like do bottle service, you know? They're also kind of like 20, at least 22, I think. Yeah, for sure. Cause like you also have to, were you were you 22 when you started? Were you younger? No, I was around that, yeah. Yeah, kind of same. Because I feel like you also need a few years in the industry to A make connections. You have to learn how to handle your alcohol. You have to like also have like a certain confidence to you that I feel like people just don't have when they're like 18, 19, 20, right?

SPEAKER_01 22:38

Like you need to like kind of have your bearings a little bit, like but also when you start out that young, like and you start to form your identity around it, that's where it can get like slippery. Like you have to like have have a strong identity outside of it, or at least know how to form it later, or else you get screwed. Cause then you're gonna start feeling like your entire value is again just that being an attractive jester.

SPEAKER_00 23:00

I've never heard jester before. You get you jest you're maxing. No, because that's that's what it feels like sometimes. Sometimes I feel sometimes I'm at a table and I'm I'm holding the bottle. And normally when I'm sober too, and I'm like, what the fuck am I actually doing right now? Like I'm like, I'm 28. No, I'm 27. I'm turning 28 this year. I think. Oh my god, I forgot my age. Um, I'm turning, I think I'm turning 28 this year. Um yeah, so I'm, you know, I'm 28, almost 28. Like, I'm like, what am I actually doing? Like, hold like I'm I'm smiling and I'm like doing this like little dance, and I'm like, what am I re what am I really doing here? It really makes you think. Yeah, exactly. I think what a big question I have for you is do you feel like you're your most authentic self when you're doing bottle service, or do you feel like it's a persona that you put on? Because for me, I feel like it's I would say I'm I genuinely at a place like AMP. I actually feel like I'm being my most authentic self. I think I am kind of maybe a bit more friendly than I would normally be.

SPEAKER_01 23:55

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 23:56

But generally I'm I'm like me. But that's because I also feel really comfortable there. But for you, what do you think?

SPEAKER_01 24:02

I like 100% agree. And I just like I'm so comfortable there and I'm so comfortable in that environment. I never feel like I have to put on a show or like I don't even care. I'll stand in the corner of the club like by myself looking at everyone and I'm like, Yeah, I feel like you don't give a fuck. No, I don't. I like and the thing with me is like anyone that knows me, like knows that I'm not gonna like try to change my personality for other people. Like, if I don't like you, you'll know. Like if I'm not vibing, you'll know. But I guess in the sense that like if you really think about it, it is kind of a performance because you're you're cycling through the same like dynamics and like ego cycles and conversations, and you see the same like types of people like as time goes by. So like the conversations you have are almost like performative after some point because it's like always the same thing, right?

SPEAKER_00 24:51

And there's kind of you can't kind of like guess like what people want to talk about, like you know, if you like have a group of guys from that come from like the states or something, you kind of know like okay, like you know how the conversation's gonna go, you know what to ask, you know how to hold the conversation.

SPEAKER_01 25:04

So I guess in that sense it's a little bit performative, but like I never feel like I'm acting and like not being your true self, exactly. Yeah, does that make sense? That totally makes sense. Can both things be true at once?

SPEAKER_00 25:15

And both things can be true at once.

SPEAKER_01 25:16

Yeah, actually.

SPEAKER_00 25:18

No, I love your thoughts on that because I I you know what I do feel the same way. Like, I feel like I'm being my most authentic self, but sometimes with certain people that I don't know as well, like spenders that come in or tables that come in, like there is like a bit of like a performative like aspect there. And I think but if you think about it, performing the industry in general, like you're everyone who's in the industry, like you're performing a little bit, right?

SPEAKER_01 25:39

Bringing out bottles and giving a performance, like yeah, you're doing that. You're literally performing, but I'm never like acting like not myself, or like you know, crossing like emotional boundaries and stuff like that, if that makes sense. So, like I still feel like you know, I don't go home at the end of the day and go, like, oh my god, I can take my mask off. It's like whatever. Like that's yeah, you're like, and that was my job.

SPEAKER_00 26:01

That was me at my job. You know what I mean? For sure. I feel like there's there are some days, though, I must say, where I'm having a tough day and I feel like I have to work extra hard to be like my act like my normal self, you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_01 26:13

Where I'm like really tired or something, or maybe I'm feeling really anxious and I have to really push myself to be like because there's expectations, like you're expected to like have this energy and like be social, even when you're like having an off day. So, like in that sense, you do like that's part of your job.

SPEAKER_00 26:30

Like, you do have to like there's a bit of a performative aspect to it.

SPEAKER_01 26:33

Yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_00 26:34

I agree.

SPEAKER_01 26:35

But that's the hardest part.

SPEAKER_00 26:36

That it honestly is hard. It's hard when you're not feeling like it. No, would you say that is then the hardest thing about doing bottle service sometimes is having to like kind of put on or just like that bring that energy into like a place where you might not even feel like you have that energy in the moment.

SPEAKER_01 26:51

Yeah. So like you always have this expectation of you that like you need to always be high energy and like put on a performance and be entertaining and all this kind of stuff and like make people feel good and the pressure's all on you to do that, and that's so exhausting sometimes. Like, if you know what I mean, especially if you don't, if you're used to always like kind of being yourself, it's really hard to like put on an act, and that's how like I end up drinking at work a lot of times because I'm like like I can't do this sober. You're like, I need something, I need something.

SPEAKER_00 27:24

Also, I feel like you know, I don't know about the people that come into um feature and ultraviolet and those places. Like, I actually I actually haven't been and I'm gonna go. Really? I'm gonna come. You haven't been in the future? No, I gotta come. So I wanna come see you. I'm gonna come on a night off.

SPEAKER_01 27:39

Oh my god, come.

SPEAKER_00 27:40

Yeah, I feel like we'll go crazy. You said you don't work Fridays, so yeah, like I'll come on a Friday if you're saying that's like the busiest day.

SPEAKER_01 27:45

Yeah, I would say Fridays are the best, and we have like um like DJs and stuff come in on Fridays, like the bigger DJs, right?

SPEAKER_00 27:52

Like I'll be there. Yeah. But I feel like at just like in my experience from from like the mainstream kind of clubs that I worked at, and just like from what I've viewed, like I feel like a lot of the spenders or the people or guys that come in, like they also take a lot more energy to like, you know, um get to know. Like it just it takes like I feel like a bit more to get to know these people, you know what I mean? Like, I feel like a lot of people I've met in like the mainstream like clubbing industry, like who have tables, like you know, they're kind of a bit standoffish, like they're a bit quiet, like they have money, but they like don't really know what to do with it. Like they don't that's just my experience in the mainstream.

SPEAKER_01 28:27

Like, are you talking about the clients?

SPEAKER_00 28:30

Yeah, like the clients, like the spenders, you know, like or like they're kind of just like post-up and they're kind of like, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 28:36

I feel like I'm a person that's hard to get to know the clients.

SPEAKER_00 28:39

I feel like they're probably intimidated by you, babe.

SPEAKER_01 28:41

Maybe I don't know. Like, I don't I I can't see it from the outside, but for me, like I feel like that's how people see me. Like, if I want to get to know somebody, even like a quiet person, I will I will get to know them. You know what I mean? Like, I can make anybody open up to me, I feel if I want to. That's an amazing trait. That's like a good trait to have in this industry, but I feel like people aren't as good at at that with me.

SPEAKER_00 29:03

Yeah, so you're not seeing it being reciprocated.

SPEAKER_01 29:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 29:06

I was actually gonna ask, like, on that note, what kind of tips do you have for a girl that's starting in the industry? Like, imagine you're talking to like younger Julia. Like, what would you tell her? You know, how would you tell her to get into the industry? I always say the biggest thing I say is to like network like crazy. If you want to get into the industry, go out. Like, go out, meet people, meet the club owners, meet the bottle service girls, get their IGs, 100% buy them a shot. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_01 29:30

Be seen.

SPEAKER_00 29:30

Be seen, be sexy, yeah, and network like network like crazy. That will help you get a job. Um, again, while keeping in mind like boundaries and stuff like that, too. But that's that's like kind of that's normally what I say. But would you agree with that or do you feel like there's something else that you would add?

SPEAKER_01 29:46

That's like the number one way to get a job for sure. Cause like emailing your resume is not gonna take you far. And just dropping it off. You know what's crazy? What that's like actually my first job at Lost and Found. I sent, I just I didn't even know they were hiring. I literally just emailed my resume with like my picture, and then that's how I got the job, which is so weird.

SPEAKER_00 30:06

But you know what? You're really it you have a crazy face card.

SPEAKER_01 30:10

Okay, but I feel like yeah, I don't know. But that was like 2018, mind you.

SPEAKER_00 30:14

So like mind you, I feel like you still had a crazy face card in 2019, 2018. I feel like I but yeah, that's that's actually that's actually crazy. I that's kind of unheard of. I've never heard of someone getting a job.

SPEAKER_01 30:23

I don't want to be a hypocrite, but like, okay, I don't really I don't think that happens anymore. No, so like that's just something to keep in mind. Like, I think I got really lucky, um, but I definitely think that socializing and like knowing people helps you a lot. Like, even in my interview, I did have to like drop some names and stuff like that. So that helped me get into it, I'm sure.

SPEAKER_00 30:43

Um it doesn't how could it hurt? Yeah, exactly. So it's good to network. Yeah, yeah, okay. I love that. So another question I have for you is what's something about bottle service? Um, or what's something about the bottle service world that people completely misunderstand? What do you think?

SPEAKER_01 30:59

People think it's about being hot, right? Because everyone's like, oh you're just the hot girl, that's how you got the job. Like, and like you need to have like boobs and all your entire job revolves around like your looks, but that's literally not true because, like, in reality, the girls that consistently make the most money and last the longest have like really good emotional intelligence, and like they're really good at sales and like they're personable, exactly. All these other things go into it, and like they're the same things that we just described as like emotionally exhausting, but that we have to do because like if you're just pretty and you don't have those traits, like emotional labor kind of traits, like you're not gonna last.

SPEAKER_00 31:45

Absolutely. So, like I love this point, it's so true that you're really onto something. You need a podcast, babe. No, because you're really onto something. Maybe you should start a podcast because that's actually that's actually so true. I think I've now that you're saying that, I do kind of notice it as well. Like, and I feel like that's also why we're good because you know, not to like tutor on horns here, but to be honest, like we're more than just I feel like there's a plethora of hawk girls in Toronto and in the world, right? And I always say in Toronto specifically, there's a bajillion hawk girls, and there's like maybe eight hawk guys, and they're all taken. Yeah, and we're with two of them. You know, that's so real. No, it's so like it's literally so true. All the time. No, because like sometimes I see some of my most beautiful, kind, smart, funny friends dating these bums, and I'm like, oh my god, like it's it's literally an epidemic in Toronto.

SPEAKER_01 32:30

Yeah, babes. If it was like a hot girl thing, every hot girl would be a bottle girl, but they're not such a thing.

SPEAKER_00 32:36

Because there is so many, like Toronto, they have their pet. Like, you could there's literally so many hot girls here. Yeah, you know, for sure. That's actually uh, I love that. Yeah, I love that.

SPEAKER_01 32:45

And that also just like goes hand in hand with what I was saying about like your value, and so many people like come to you and like think that about you and like project their thoughts about you onto you, like, oh, like you're just a hot girl that does bottle service. Like, it's really hard to like separate your identity from that if you're not like grounded in yourself because you're like, oh, like am I just like a hot girl? Like everything I ever had because people just cause I'm hot.

SPEAKER_00 33:08

And I think there's this narrative too that people and people assume that hot um bottle girls specifically and just hot girls in general are tough. And don't have a lot of substance. Most girls do, though, especially the girls in Toronto. I feel like we're very like, there's so many hot, beautiful, for sure, smart, funny, successful women in Toronto.

SPEAKER_01 33:25

But but it gets dumbed down when you're a bottle girl, I feel yeah.

SPEAKER_00 33:28

But you think that you're stupid.

SPEAKER_01 33:30

Yeah, it's really sad.

SPEAKER_00 33:31

It is really sad.

SPEAKER_01 33:32

Like, I don't care anymore. I just like to do it.

SPEAKER_00 33:34

You get to a certain age and you're like, I know what I am.

SPEAKER_01 33:36

Exactly. Yeah. So if you think this like fuck you, kind of exactly.

SPEAKER_00 33:40

Yeah. I did actually have, I said this on my last episode, but someone commented. They're like, Oh my god, like this is so stupid of bottle service girl doing a podcast. I'm like, yeah, I said that to you. Someone commented that, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 33:49

Like on your video?

SPEAKER_00 33:50

On one of my videos.

SPEAKER_01 33:51

Who? From a fake account, fake account, babe.

SPEAKER_00 33:54

It's always a fake account. Yeah. And you know what though? I I was really haters hurt. I would be happier like my first hater. Thank you. I you know what? I flipped the I I did flip it because I was like, at the end of the day, yes, if people are saying something bad, at least people are talking, and so many people have said good things, but I also think that like it's kind of to be expected because I'm I'm I am kind of you know talking from this place of like I am a bottle service girl. That's like a small part of my identity, but I understand there's like a lot of stigma around bottle doing bottle service. Like a lot of people, and I said this with my friend Kira as well. Like, it's on the spectrum of sex work. I would say on the very low end, yeah what I mean.

SPEAKER_01 34:32

Like yeah, because I don't know very low end. I I like know strippers and stuff like that.

SPEAKER_00 34:36

And like when we talk about stuff like this, like there's a lot of similarities, so many similarities that are dancers as well, and like exactly so many similarities.

SPEAKER_01 34:44

The only difference is they take their clothes off, and like we don't, but like we're also not wearing a lot of clothes, but like we're but like but like we're not taking them off.

SPEAKER_00 34:51

No, no, no. But that is yeah, yeah. No, there's a lot of similarities, so it's like on the spectrum, and yeah, like I think, and even like there's so many dancers that I know, and like they're such like amazing women, you know, and I think people really stigmatize women who choose to work in these industries, unfortunately.

SPEAKER_01 35:08

I know, you know, unfortunately, yeah, and they group them all together as yeah, and they're all like they're all just they're hot, but they're dumb.

SPEAKER_00 35:13

Yeah, and they like they're not going anywhere. Yeah. So I was gonna say actually, another question I have for you is how do you kind of navigate being desired, watched, and like judged constantly? Because I feel like that's something that you know you kind of deal with like when you're doing bottle service. I I personally feel like I'm being watched all the time. I feel like people are like eyeing me in Cam's relationship, they're like just waiting for us to break up. They're like, once it gonna happen, and it's not happening.

SPEAKER_01 35:35

You have to separate attention from your identity. Because again, if you like put your entire self-worth into like people desiring you, like just because someone desires you doesn't mean they like understand or respect you. You know what I mean? And then the longer I feel like that's one of the main things I learned. Like the longer that I've been in the industry, the more that's become apparent to me. So I feel like a lot of the conversations I have, like, they like go right through me. I'm just like, I'm not even like truly like this is literally like nothing.

SPEAKER_00 36:06

I'm not gonna put too much, give this too much attention to it.

SPEAKER_01 36:10

Cause I'm just like, I know what this is. Like, you just like desire me, but you have like no idea who I am. You literally know nothing. You just think of a pretty face in front of you, and that's it. Yeah. So like you could play along with that if you want, you know, to get your money. But in the end of the day, like you have to remember that like you can't get you can't forget that and like start falling for people's bullshit because, like, in the end of the day, like they don't know you, and just because they desire you, it doesn't mean that they like actually like you, or respect or respect you, or respect heavy on respect.

SPEAKER_00 36:42

Yeah, you know, being in the industry, this actually this kind of ties into my next question I want to ask you, but like I feel like being in the industry has kind of changed the way I see men a bit, and there's some things that I've actually like I think it's changed the way I've seen men for the better, and then there's some things that have changed the way I see men for the worst, you know? Yeah, I actually feel like I don't know if it's just at a MPM. I feel like working, like you know, meeting so many guys on like a day-to-day or a week-to-week basis, like I would say most men, I think there's this also narrative that all like men are cheaters and like especially men in Toronto, you know, unfortunately. And I've met so many amazing men in Toronto that have been so respectful, so kind, so caring, like, you know, they've gone out of their way to make me feel like respected and cared for, you know. I mean, just while I'm serving them, right? Obviously. But there's a lot of really amazing men out there. Not all men are cheaters. I've seen some men, like, the first thing they say to me, they're like, I have a girlfriend. And I'm like, yeah, and I'm kind of like, I didn't ask, but thank you. Um, you know, but like, I mean, I respect it at the end of the day, like they're, you know, being trying to be as respectful and as upfront as possible.

SPEAKER_01 37:47

Refreshing to hear because I actually think that being in the one of the biggest downsides of being in the industry to me is like how it changed my perspective on men for the negative. Really? I I don't know. I see so many people out like trying to cheat on their girls, like just like no it's there's a few good ones, but like the good ones are like notable. I'll be like, wow, like that guy This is rare. This is rare. Like that guy's a promoter and he doesn't cheat. Like, you don't, you know what I mean? Like, that's like something that I'm like, oh my god, like taken aback by. Yeah, you know what I mean. But other than that, I think like it's a very toxic environment to be in because if there are cheaters and like well, there's alcohol, there's like beautiful people all around.

SPEAKER_00 38:30

Like it's a this is kind of environment.

SPEAKER_01 38:32

Where you see that you see all these people like cheat, like owners, this, that, like cheating on their wives, like whatever. Like, you know what I mean? I'm just like, oh my god, bro. Like, I hope this is not the real world and just the world we're living in because it really tainted my like perception. I'm like, I literally I told my man, I'm like, honestly, and he gets so mad at me when I say this. He's he literally starts a fight with me. I'm like, I feel like 90% of men are like bad, and then 10% are good. And he's like, What are you talking about? He's like, that's not true. It's more like, you know, there's like 50-50, same as.

SPEAKER_00 39:07

Oh my god, I've had this argument with my men too.

SPEAKER_01 39:09

I'm like, no, he's like, you can't be like a man hater. You can't say all men are bad. I'm like, I don't. I don't think all men are bad. I don't think you're bad. I just think there's a lot that are not good.

SPEAKER_00 39:19

But I feel like when you're in that environment, it does skew your perception. It can definitely skew your perception because like when you're interacting with men mostly in that space and you're seeing men and probably other women and stuff too, but like men cheat and do XYZ, you're like, oh, okay, well, you know what I mean? Like that's just your experience. I feel like when I worked at other places, I noticed a lot more. Maybe you're in like a not toxic environment. Cause maybe PM's toxic in other ways, but I feel like with that specific, no, you know what? People will cheat, but it's not like the I feel like it's not normally like spenders or promoters or the staff. Like that's not really happening, but I'll see it like there's a lot of like regulars that come in, and I feel like I hear about cheat, like this person cheated on this, and this person broke up because they cheated. Like, I'll I feel like I'll hear that, but it always, I don't know. It's it's sometimes it just surprises me. I kind of when I first went into the industry, I had this belief like if guys have money, they're gonna cheat.

SPEAKER_01 40:11

Exactly.

SPEAKER_00 40:12

You know, and that's what I've that's kind of changed my I've changed my perception on that a bit. I'm like, okay, not all of them.

SPEAKER_01 40:17

Really? I you know what, but like talking to girls, like for the most part doesn't help because there's so many girls now that like have internalized this like belief that they say, like, if my man is really rich, I'll let him cheat because I know he'll cheat anyway. So like and like you know, hearing that from like people that I know and stuff, I'm like, damn, like, like there's no way out, eh? Like, yeah, like you you gotta get cheated on by a broke man or get cheated on by a rich man, but they're all gonna cheat. But that's just because like they're a product of of their environment and it's just so toxic and I hate it.

SPEAKER_00 40:50

Like, me and you wouldn't put up with that, absolutely not.

SPEAKER_01 40:53

See, like, that's just like not who I I would never cheat. Don't care.

SPEAKER_00 40:58

I feel like you've never cheated, I've never cheated before, too.

SPEAKER_01 41:00

No, and I've actually never been cheated on. Really? Thank fucking.

SPEAKER_00 41:03

I've definitely been cheated on in the past, but like also you're probably like, okay, well, like you know what it feels like, so you would never do it, right?

SPEAKER_01 41:10

Yeah, I mean, listen, like when I was younger, like whatever, like I had less serious relationships and stuff like that. So, like, I mean, there's relationships I thought were serious, but then I got cheated on and stuff like that. So that also kind of like I think that changes your pers perspective on a lot, to be honest, though. Like when you feel like you really trust someone and that that's like your person, and that person turns around and does you dirty, it really also like changes your entire perspective on the male species because you're like, I can't believe the person that I thought was closest to me would do that to me. So if you never got cheated on, perhaps your perspective's a little bit. I think that's better than mine. Yeah, exactly. I haven't been through some like and you're just like, I can't.

SPEAKER_00 41:49

Yeah, you're like, I can.

SPEAKER_01 41:51

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 41:52

No, I get that. I honestly I feel like I feel very, I feel like I'm one of the rare people. I I feel like most people I've talked to have but then like I've been cheated on.

SPEAKER_01 42:00

It's like really good because like I it is different. I miss the person I was before that happened to me, even though it was like so many years ago, and like I literally like don't even think or care about that person whatsoever.

SPEAKER_00 42:11

Well, it actually it changes like I feel like a the way you see men, it also changes like the way that you trust in relationships, it changes.

SPEAKER_01 42:19

I've seen other people do it, and I'm like, they like they would, you know what I mean? So I'm always like, you know, like it makes me more on my toes and it makes me more like suspicious about my.

SPEAKER_00 42:28

You know what stresses me out when I see things like M Rata got cheated on. I'm like, okay, if M Rada's getting cheated on, fuck, no one's safe. But like But they're all celebrities. Celebrities, the celebrity world's a bit different, though. Everyone kind of cheating on everyone.

SPEAKER_01 42:40

I never think it's like the girl. Like it's yeah, no, it's there's there's men out there that like no matter who they have, they're just cheaters. Like that's just who they are. Like they can't help it. Like that's how they think. They want their cake and to eat it too, and that that's just like who they are.

SPEAKER_00 42:53

I always say, I'm like, you know what? I I try not to, I'm like, if that's like who you are, that's okay, but don't be in a relationship then. I agree. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_01 43:01

Don't everyone to go home to like someone, yeah. But then I'm like, that's not fair. My god, no, I was literally watching a TikTok today about this guy talking about how there's like a form of PTSD that's for like people that got cheated on. It's called like pissed, like P-I-S-D. And the comments were all like, yeah, I'm pissed, I got cheated on. I forget what it stands for, like whatever. But yeah, I don't know. I forget, I have to look back at it, but it was just like very interesting because he's like the way you view the entire world and like your behavior and like everything changes after that because like that's like a big betrayal of your trust, you know. Literally. So, like, maybe that definitely affects how like people see the world afterwards. Like, even if it's like way later and like you're in a healthy relationship and stuff, I still look around and I'm like, you still don't know.

SPEAKER_00 43:54

Well, I feel like even and I've I've been saying this in all my episodes like, even though I trust my man. I don't I don't know where that came from. My mind. I don't even though I trust Cameron, even though I trust Cameron so much, I always second guess it because you know, there's rumors, there's and there's also this belief, like, especially I feel like for bartenders in the city, they all cheat. All the male ones, all the hot male ones. Like I've literally seen like Reddit forms about it, I've seen TikToks about it, I've seen a million things about it. Like, you know, um, and so I, you know, I I still have like an eye out, but I just like I do, I never want to be that girl that's like stupid, you know? Like I never want or like unaware.

SPEAKER_01 44:34

Yeah. And like I make jokes around I'm like, sometimes the voices just tell me things, and he's like, You mean your thoughts? Like those are thoughts.

SPEAKER_00 44:41

And you're like, that's the voice. That's my that's my um, what is it, the gut feeling? Because there's been times where I feel like I've had a gut feeling. I'm like, and I'm like, no, it's just anxiety, and it's again, it's the product of the environment that we're in, right? Like it's hard to sometimes feel fully secure, you know, in that environment, even if you are with an amazing man, right? I know you're I feel like you're in a super healthy, happy relationship.

SPEAKER_01 45:04

I am too nothing has happened between us that would like make me question things, you know what I mean? Like, but at the same time, it's just really hard being in this environment and seeing all these these things happen around us and like not just know like this always could like it's always a small possibility. And like, oh my god, what would like oh my god, like imagine my PTSD after that. Like, no, oh my god.

SPEAKER_00 45:25

Yeah, babe, you'd be very pissed. You'd be pissed, pissed.

SPEAKER_01 45:28

I don't like something, something would happen.

SPEAKER_00 45:30

I think you go celibate for a bit.

SPEAKER_01 45:32

I think I would go celibate. I think someone would like have to die.

SPEAKER_00 45:35

I always say I always say if if I got cheated on, I'd actually have to be on like I'd want to be in like a medically induced coma at Cam H for like minimum two months, three months, get really skinny, come out of it. Okay, yeah, yeah. I'd be like underfeed, I'd be like malnourished, I'd be like underfeed me, you know? And I'd want to be in a medically induced coma. I'd want to come out of it. I'd want to be on like the highest dose of Alex R. I'd want to be on like the max dose of Lexapro. Um, a thousand percent. I'd probably need to move away.

SPEAKER_01 46:02

I was gonna say that, like move out of it.

SPEAKER_00 46:03

Because it's really that serious. It really because it really is.

SPEAKER_01 46:06

Literally that serious. So these guys don't realize what they're doing when they're out here.

SPEAKER_00 46:10

Like, I know they it it ruins lives, and it can go vice versa, of course, right? Like, I know like I've also I feel like again, cheating is so normalized in the industry, and especially in Toronto. I have heard of a lot of cases of women like cheating as well, you know.

SPEAKER_01 46:23

I'm not saying like women can be like pieces of shit too. I'm not saying like men are the only person.

SPEAKER_00 46:28

But you just it's men more.

SPEAKER_01 46:29

But like I'm as a woman, I'm worried about men. I'm not worried about you know, about other girls.

SPEAKER_00 46:33

Yeah, yes, exactly. So I was gonna say, like, I guess one of my last questions for you is like, does this ever does this job ever stop like feeling like fun and start feeling like a lot of pressure? Do you ever have that where you feel like it's just not fun? Because I know I've had days like that at AMPM where I'm like, I just I'm not having fun today. Normally it's when I'm sober on that.

SPEAKER_01 46:52

Yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_00 46:53

But you know, it just it just feels like pressure, it feels like pressure to perform, it feels like it just not fun anymore, you know?

SPEAKER_01 46:59

Do you ever have days like that or moments like that? So definitely like what we were talking about earlier with like pressure to perform and to have energy and to like be entertaining and like always attractive and stuff like that, that can like take a lot out of you, right?

SPEAKER_00 47:17

And that's not very fun sometimes.

SPEAKER_01 47:18

No, especially if you're like tired and stuff, like that's where the pressure starts. Cause then, like, if you ever don't feel the best about yourself or like you don't feel like you're entertaining or like you don't look good that day, like it's hard not to internalize that. It's like they didn't like they didn't like me today, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 47:35

And I and I felt that actually something I was gonna say too is I sometimes feel pressured to look good on my days off in case I run into someone, even on this podcast. I'm a full beat on.

SPEAKER_01 47:43

I've well, yeah, I should I was thinking about putting lashes today, but like you you don't need like you're gorgeous. I'm gonna be like sweatpants, like chill, just going in for a chill, sexy vibe. Yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_00 47:55

I went for a full beat.

SPEAKER_01 47:56

I went in for a full beat. Like, I haven't. I definitely wish I put lashes, but it's fine.

SPEAKER_00 48:00

No, and honestly, you don't need it. I have no eyelashes. You have gorgeous, stunning long eyelashes. Um mine are straight, like little little nubs. But even like on this podcast, or even when I make a video for my for my podcast account, like um, I feel like I have to have a full beat on. It's very rare that I have a video where I have no makeup on. And even like when I'm walking outside in Toronto, like Toronto is so small. Like, I feel like I have to look good outside of my job, you know? Like, there's never a time where I'm going out on like one of my nights off. Like, I will have my full beat on. I will have a sexy outfit on. I will because I want to make sure that people are still seeing me and holding me to that standard that they see me.

SPEAKER_01 48:34

Like, even if I'm like bum, I'll be like bum chic, you know, like bum chic, exactly. Sweatpants, but like my face guard will always, you know, yeah, hair's hair's done.

SPEAKER_00 48:43

Yeah, exactly. You know what I mean? And like we're wearing sweatpants, we're wearing a tight top. Like, you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_01 48:47

It's never full bumps, like effortless, like exactly looking good. And you know what's interesting about this that I was thinking about too? I think that specific pressure is what led me into my other job because like I enjoyed like looking into like all this stuff to like how to look better, like getting stuff done, Botox, this, that. Like, I've always like been very into that. And then I was like, why don't I just start making other people look good too, and like helping fix other people's insecurities, and then that's how I actually got into like being an S and the United States. What you're doing too, right?

SPEAKER_00 49:21

Because you have to go to school for that, right? For a little bit, right? Because I know it's like a pretty intensive, like what you're doing is serious, yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_01 49:28

And like, yeah, basically, I was just thinking about it the other day, and I was like, even though that is like my escape from just doing bottle service, it's kind of what led you there. It kind of is what led me there because everything is like also kind of like aesthetic and appearance based too, but like yeah, I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 49:46

In a different way, yeah. You're kind of on the other side of it, you're like the one doing it. Exactly. Because you do like what treatments do you do, like microneedling, like morpheas?

SPEAKER_01 49:54

I do morphia, I get a laser, I also do facials. Um, but I try like I'm like very results driven, so like I try to like make a visible improvement in like an issue that someone is like bringing to me, right? So um and I feel like you do that. I do, I do. Well, I try, you know.

SPEAKER_00 50:13

Yeah, um, I feel like I've seen whenever I see you post on like your she has a page called Toronto Skin Witch. Yeah, she's literally Toronto Skin Witch. And I feel like I always see like the before and afters, and I'm always very impressed. Actually, I saw one today. The body, yeah, yeah, babe. And I was like, I let me talk to her about this after we film because I was like, this looks good.

SPEAKER_01 50:31

Yeah, we got a new body contouring machine, so yeah, like that's kind of tea.

SPEAKER_00 50:35

Like, I'm curious about that.

SPEAKER_01 50:36

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 50:37

That was like, okay, you know what? I I lied. I was gonna say that was my last question for you, but I actually have one last one. Okay, just to close it off today. Um, love, just loving, I'm just loving this though. I'm just loving this. I love it. I'm literally I could I could do this for hours.

SPEAKER_01 50:51

I can do this off camera because there's so much more.

SPEAKER_00 50:53

So much more, babe. Um, my very last one though for you is what is the hardest boundary to hold in a nightlife environment? I'm curious about your answer. Because I I can also kind of think of an answer that I have, but I'm curious what yours could be.

SPEAKER_01 51:06

Um, not letting constant validation, money, or being desired start shaping your self-worth or decision making. Okay. But that's not really an issue for me now. But I think like starting off in the industry, it was. So it's something I've had to learn over time. Cause like, yeah, also emotional boundaries. Since you're always like entertaining and create, it's like part of the job. It's like hard to like create those emotional boundaries. Like, this is just part of the job. Like, we're here right now, like for sure. But we're not actually like best friends. But that's what I was saying. Like, that's why people find it hard sometimes to get like close to me because I don't let them necessarily like I protect my energy a lot, right? So, like, I choose who I want to let in and who's like worth my energy. And then if it's just like somebody I'm meeting in the club, like, sure, we can like whatever, have a few drinks, hee hee ha ha, but like I'm not gonna let a lot of people you're close to. Yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_00 52:00

Yeah, because I feel like at the club too, I even like I have that all the time with people, and I feel I feel really bad about it sometimes. But um, there's some people that like I've met like a few times, or people that I know through AMPM, and like they're like old regulars, or just like there's some people that like like I see often, but I actually don't know very well, you know, and then sometimes they'll ask me for favors or they'll ask me for like something yeah, mostly like favors, and I'm like, I actually don't know you that well, right? Or they'll be like, let's hang out. I'm like, no, like I would be maybe down, but like I would just I also just like but you get overstimulated. I'm like, I'm like, I have so much going on, and there's so many people, and the thing is they all remember you because like they see you as a server, but for you, like there's so many customers.

SPEAKER_01 52:38

I know this is so bad to say, but I've literally told customers that have come up to me going, like what, you don't remember me? I'm like, babe, there's one there's one of me. There's thousands of you.

SPEAKER_00 52:47

You know what I do?

SPEAKER_01 52:48

You know what my thing is that's so rude, but like, bro, but it's true, it's so realistic.

SPEAKER_00 52:52

You know what I my thing is is like if I'm unsure, I always say, Hey you. I don't do a name, I do a I just like hey you. I'm like, how are you too but like and I always say how are you instead of nice to meet you, just in case.

SPEAKER_01 53:03

That's smart. Just in case. No, I do that too, but I mean if they call me out, then I say that because I'm like, you're gonna call me out?

SPEAKER_00 53:09

You're like, come on, yeah, yeah. That's if you only if you get called out. That's only if you get called out. I'll call you out too. I think my no, and as you should. I think my biggest boundary with um the nightlife industry is emotional boundaries is such a great answer to that. I love that. I would say for me as well, it's like the just like the not drinking like when I don't want to. Like, I feel like I get pressure. There's been so many nights. I'm better at it now, but there's been so many times.

SPEAKER_01 53:32

I'm better at it too. Like, I try to keep it on like once a week, like Saturday. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_00 53:37

Yeah, like normally like the last day that you're working, but I don't know, I still get pressured. Like, I I still get pressured all the time, and I think that's such a hard thing. I have like it's really hard for me to say no to that.

SPEAKER_01 53:48

Yeah, me.

SPEAKER_00 53:48

Because I also like kind of love being drunk.

SPEAKER_01 53:50

Like, I know that's like the same. I love it. Like I love it, but I hate it. Like, I hate it the next day, but the moment I hate the hangover. I'm a social butterfly.

SPEAKER_00 53:57

Like, it feels so good. Like, and especially when you're in that environment, it's fun.

SPEAKER_01 54:00

It makes it easier to make money. So if that's the goal and you want to have fun and you want to everything have a good time with you, then and your anxiety all of a sudden is like kind of gone, like everything just feels a bit easier.

SPEAKER_00 54:11

It's so hard to say no to. And so I think that's the hardest thing is just saying no to drinking for me. That's my biggest boundary.

SPEAKER_01 54:16

I think that's like I should have thought of that first, probably, but no, I love I love your emotional boundaries answered.

SPEAKER_00 54:22

Emotional boundaries, but I feel like but I feel like that's such a good answer because that is so major. Like, people have a hard time, even throughout the week. Like, I try not to answer my DMs until like Wednesday. I kind of give myself like Sunday, Monday, Tuesday. I don't answer any and PM related DMs. I wait till like later in the week because it's it is so overstimulating. Yeah, and even like afterwards, like people will like AP and stuff after. I'm like, hell no. Oh, I'm going home. I mean, you're crazy.

SPEAKER_01 54:48

Like, uh sometimes I'm a victim, like literally this past Saturday. Like, I don't know if you saw my close friends, but I was at ultraviolet until seven in the morning.

SPEAKER_00 54:57

Oh, I did see that, and the sun was out.

SPEAKER_01 54:58

The sun was beaming like a hot really Mexico. I was like, what the fuck? And I didn't plan to do that, it just like happened. But I'm like, I guess uh what's fun every once in a while for sure. Poor memories, I guess. But like afterwards, I'm like, why did I do that? Like the next destroyed myself or the next like day.

SPEAKER_00 55:17

The hangover the next day is brutal. Like, actually, like going through that, yeah, yeah, it's brutal.

SPEAKER_01 55:23

So, like, those are things I probably want to like take out of my life over time. For sure.

SPEAKER_00 55:30

But I feel like overall you set really good emotional boundaries from what you're saying. Yeah, exactly. I feel like I've noticed that about you. I feel like you're very careful about like who you open up to. I remember even when I first met you, I was like, okay, she's hard to read. Love it.

SPEAKER_01 55:40

Well, like everyone tells me that. Everyone tells me that.

SPEAKER_00 55:43

I'm like, honestly, like but also feel like we kind of clicked right away. Exactly. And I've always really liked you. And I feel like we've also like, you know, even though I don't see you super often, I'm always like we always have like like I love her. Like I'm like, that's my each other.

SPEAKER_01 55:55

Like we understand each other without even saying anything.

SPEAKER_00 55:57

But like, yeah, yeah, exactly. And so that was my last question for you. And the what a beautiful answer to that. And so I just wanted to like close us off for today and just say, like, thank you so much for popping by. Um, if you guys want to like learn more about Julia, you can follow her on Instagram at Julia Barbs with a double A, Julia double A barbs, um, or Toronto Skin Witch. If you guys want to follow her.

SPEAKER_01 56:20

Thanks for plugging me in.

SPEAKER_00 56:21

I got you, girl. I got you. Um, and if you want to hear a little bit from a little bit more from me, you can follow me um on Instagram at Club Therapy Pod. And you guys know where to find me on Apple, on YouTube, on Spotify, Club Therapy. You can find me there. Um, but yeah, thanks so much for your time today, and thanks so much for watching, guys. Bye. Thanks so much for having me.