The Mom I Thought I'd Be vs The Mom I Actually Am

Before having kids, most parents have a clear vision of what motherhood will look like.

No screens.

Healthy meals.

A clean house.

A calm, patient approach to parenting.

But real life looks a little different.

In this episode of A Glass and a Giggle, Kassi dives into the reality of motherhood. Comparing the mom she thought she would be with the mom she actually is.

From snack-filled backseats and screen time survival moments to picky eating, bedtime battles, and the overstimulation that no one talks about, this episode highlights the honest, unfiltered side of parenting.

It’s relatable, funny, and a reminder that motherhood rarely goes according to plan and that’s completely okay.

For any mom who has ever found herself doing something she once swore she’d never do… this episode will feel all too familiar.

Because at the end of the day, parenting isn’t about perfection, it’s about adapting, surviving, and doing the best you can.

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About the Show

A real, raw, funny take on motherhood, chaos, healing, and remembering who you are under the mom-life mess.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:17

Hey guys, welcome back to A Glass and a Giggle. If you're new here, hi, I'm Cassie, a millennial mom of two, chaos coordinator, coffee addict, and someone who started this podcast because motherhood is honestly way too wild to not talk about. This podcast is basically like sitting at a kitchen counter with a friend where we talk about mom life, relationships, the chaos of raising tiny humans, and the things nobody really prepares you for. And today's episode is something I think every parent experiences at some point. Because before I had kids, I had a lot of opinions about parenting. Not in a mean way, just in the way that people do when you haven't actually lived it yet. I thought I had it figured out. I had this vision of the type of mom I would be. My kids would eat healthy meals. They wouldn't rely on screens. They wouldn't be those tablet kids. My house would stay somewhat clean. Bedtime would be calm and structured. I would always be patient and emotionally regulated. And if you're a parent listening right now, you're probably already laughing at me. Because once you actually have kids, you realize something pretty quickly. Parenthood humbles you. There are so many things I used to say I would never do as a mom, and now I do them regularly. Not because I'm lazy, not because I don't care, but because parenting is a lot different when you're actually living it every single day. The schedules are unpredictable. Your kids have big emotions. You're tired. You're juggling a million things. And suddenly all those little parenting rules you thought you'd have become flexible. So today I want to talk about the mom I thought I would be versus the mom I actually am. Because the differences between those two versions of myself is honestly hilarious. And if you're a mom listening to this, I guarantee you've had the moments where you realize you're doing something you once sore you would never do. Before I had kids, I took a lot of pride in keeping my car clean. I've always had everything pretty organized. There were no random items rolling around, no crumbs in the seats, and definitely no sticky mystery substances in the cup holders. Now my car looks like it's been through a toddler hurricane. If you open the back seat right now, you would find things like a half a bag of crackers, a shoe that somehow only has one match, a toy dinosaur that my toddler insisted had to come with us to the grocery store, and probably fruit snack wrappers that have been there long enough to qualify as part of the interior design. At some point, snacks become a permanent part of leaving the house. Because when you have kids, you start realizing how many situations could be improved by having food available. Long car ride, snack. Running errands, snack. Someone on the verge of a meltdown in the backseat? Emergency snack. There was one day recently where I was vacuuming my car and I found so many crumbs that I actually stopped halfway through and just started laughing at myself, thinking I would have never allowed this in a past life. That version of me from 10 years ago would have been horrified. But now it's just normal. Kids are messy. Life with kids is messy. Cars with kids is messy. And honestly, sometimes having snacks in the car is the difference between a peaceful drive and a full-blown toddler protest. Another thing I used to feel very confident about was screen time. Before having kids, I was convinced my children wouldn't need screens very often. I imagined us doing crafts, reading books, playing outside, and having these calm little routines every day. And to be fair, we still do those things. But what I didn't understand before becoming a mom is how valuable 20 quiet minutes can be. There are moments during the day when you just need a small break. Maybe you're trying to cook dinner and you don't want a toddler hanging off your leg while you're using the stove. Maybe you're trying to answer an email or fold laundry. Maybe you just want to sit down and drink your coffee while it's still warm for once. And sometimes the easiest way to make all that happen is turning on a show for a little bit. I remember one specific moment that really changed my perspective. We were at a restaurant and my toddler was starting to reach that stage where you can tell a meltdown is coming. You know the signs. The whining starts, they're suddenly very unhappy with the chair, nothing on the table interests them, the noise level starts going up. So I pulled out my phone and I put on a show. Within seconds, everything calmed down. And I had this realization that parents everywhere probably have had this exact same moment at some point. Sometimes you do what works. Another thing I never anticipated was how much time I would spend managing snacks. Toddlers run on snacks. Meals exist, sure, but snacks are the real currency of the day. A typical day might look something like this breakfast, snack, another snack, lunch, snack, snack again, dinner attempt, and then somehow another snack before bedtime. There are days when I feel like my entire job is opening snack packages. And what's funny is how unpredictable toddler preferences can be. One week they love something, it's their favorite snack. The next week they refuse to even look at it. You buy a huge box of a snack they seem to be obsessed with last week, and suddenly it's completely unacceptable. So now your pantry becomes this random, strange rotation of foods you hope they'll eat. And half the time you end up eating the snacks too because you open the package already. Before I had kids, I also had a lot of ideas about communication. I believed I would always calmly explain things. I would use logic. I would help my kids understand the reasoning behind rules. And sometimes it works. Sometimes I get on my toddler's level, look him in the eye, and he seems to understand what I'm saying. But other times you're dealing with a tired toddler who wants to do something that simply isn't safe. Like climbing onto furniture or touching something hot, grabbing something sharp, and you suddenly hear yourself saying phrases you once judged other parents for. Things like, because I said so. Not today. We're not doing that. Sir, put that down. When you're exhausted and trying to keep small humans safe, sometimes the explanations become very short. And that's okay. One of my biggest pre-parenting beliefs was that my kids would simply eat what we ate. No separate meals, no picky eating battles. Everyone would sit down and enjoy dinner together. Reality looks a little different. You might spend time preparing a meal that you're excited about. You plate it, you sit down, and your toddler looks at the plate like you've personally offended them. Then comes the negotiation. They might take one bite, or they might push the plate away entirely and ask for something completely unrelated, probably a snack. Parenting quickly teaches you flexibility. Another thing I thought before kids was that keeping the house clean would just be a matter of staying organized. Now I understand that toys have a magical ability to spread themselves across every room within minutes. You can tidy a living room, put everything back where it belongs, take a moment to admire the space, and then probably five minutes later, there's a train set on the couch, blocks on the floor, stuffed animals in places you don't remember putting them, little people taking over. Kids play, that's what they're supposed to do. But it definitely changes your expectations about what a tidy house looks like on a daily basis. Something I never heard people talk about before becoming a parent is how overstimulating motherhood can be. There's always noise. Someone is always talking, a toy is playing music, a show is on in the background, there's a child asking questions, and sometimes your brain just needs a few moments of quiet. It doesn't mean you don't love your kids. It just means your brain has been processing a lot of input all day. Before kids, bedtime seemed like the easiest part of the day. Bath, book, bed. Simple, predictable, peaceful. Now, bedtime is an entire production. It's like a nightly event that no one fully understands, but everyone participates in. Because somehow the second you say goodnight, that's when your kids suddenly remember everything. They need water. They're starving. They need one more hug. They forgot to tell you something very important that happened six hours ago. They need a different blanket. They want the light adjusted. They're not tired anymore. And you're just standing there like you were literally falling asleep on me five minutes ago. And somehow now it is a 45-minute production. Once you leave the room, you're thinking it's finally over. Only to hear mom from down the hall. And you just pause like we were so close. Before kids, I was also a casual Googler. After kids, I am now a certified medical researcher at 2 a.m. Every bump, every cough, every random behavior. You're like, is this normal? And then suddenly it's 2 a.m. and you're three articles deep convincing yourself of every possible outcome. And the best part, you go to the pediatrician and everything's fine. But in that moment, Google feels like your best friend and your worst enemy. One thing I also used to joke about before becoming a parent was mom's hiding in the bathroom. Like, girl, why are you hiding in there? Now, oh, I totally get it. I fully understand. Because parenting is constant. You're needed like all day. There is no clocking out. There is no off switch. And sometimes you just need a minute where no one is touching you, asking you questions, or saying your name. And for some reason, the bathroom becomes that place. You're not even doing anything. You're just sitting there like, this is peaceful. Two minutes of silence can completely reset your mood. And honestly, those little moments are sometimes what get you through the rest of the day. So if motherhood has taught me anything, it's that the version of you before kids really had no idea. But that's okay. Because the version of you now is doing something way harder than you had ever imagined. So if you found yourself doing things you once swore you never would, welcome. You're doing it right. You're surviving. And honestly, you're probably doing a lot better than you think. Thank you so much for hanging out with me today on a glass and a giggle. If this episode made you laugh, relate, or feel a little less alone, please send it to another mom who gets it. And I'll see you next week.