Season 3 EP. 93 No More Nice Series Finale “Rooted, but Unreachable”

Season 3 EP. 93 No More Nice Series Finale “Rooted, but Unreachable” (C2TC8 H.E.R. Circle)

What if being unavailable isn't rejection?
What if it's stewardship?

In the final episode of the No More Nice Series, Madison Samone Chase explores the difference between connection and access, and why healthy relationships, healthy communities, and healthy boundaries do not require unlimited availability.

This episode examines how many high-performing women have been conditioned to equate being needed with being loved, being useful with being valued, and being reachable with being caring. Through the lens of discernment, stewardship, faith, and self-leadership, Madison challenges listeners to reconsider who has access to their time, energy, attention, and peace.

This episode is for high-performing women, mothers, aunties, godmothers, single moms, dog moms, entrepreneurs, caregivers, and anyone learning that their worth is not determined by their availability.

As always, C2TC8 offers 3 Keys 🔑 and 1 Reflection Question ❓ to help you pause for a cause, reflect, and carry the lesson with you long after listening.

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And remember, there's always grace in this space.
Blessings to You & Yours! Until tomorrow

Transcript

0:01

Season three, the finale episode in the No More Nice series. This episode is entitled Rooted, not Reachable. What if being unavailable isn't rejection? What if it's stewardship? What if every text message, group text message, social media post doesn't require an immediate response? And what if every invitation doesn't require a yes? And what if every opinion doesn't require an explanation? And what if being rooted means becoming so crystal clear about who we are, what we're building, and what we've been called to steward that we no longer feel obligated to make ourselves reachable to everyone. Today we're talking about the difference between connection and access, because a healthy community doesn't require unlimited availability. Hey y'all, I'm Madison Simone Chase, also known as Miss Chase. I was raised in church, and my faith journey has always been at the center of who I am and who I'm called to be. And I'm incredibly thankful to have been raised by a hardworking, sacrificial, high-performing, high-achievle mother who remains my biggest fan and my forever BFF best friend for real. Honoring God through service and making my mama proud and using the gifts he gave me has always been deeply important to me. But somewhere along the way, while building dual careers in healthcare and wellness and fitness, showing up for people, sharing my resources, working with celebrity clients and interviewing celebrity clients and serving and helping, supporting, encouraging, and constantly being quote unquote nice. I started noticing a recurring theme in both my personal and professional life. And I realized there's a difference between being kind and being nice and being endlessly accessible. And there's a difference between service and over extension. And there's a difference between kindness with discernment and niceness without boundaries. Let me say that again. There's a difference between kindness with discernment and niceness without boundaries. And slowly I began recognizing how many people, family, friends, besties, places, and things in my life that were constantly taking, sucking, leaching without ever truly valuing me and pouring back into me. And that realization didn't make me stop being who I'm called to be. It made me honest. And that honesty became the beginning of my healing season and my rebuilding season and the no more nice season and the no more nice series. So now in season three of Cut to the Chase at 8 with more than 338 episodes, this podcast has evolved into something revelatory and healing for me. And this is now C2TC8, her circle, her standing for high-performing, empowered women who are ready to thrive. And alongside that rebuilding, healing journey is my desire to be the soul full sheo, not as perfection, but as a commitment to stop shrinking, stop overthinking, stop overextending, stop abandoning discernment, stop delaying my purpose, my vision, my peace, and the calling that I know God has placed inside of me and also placed inside of each of us. So whether you're a high-performing, high-achiev mother, single mother, caretaker, entrepreneur, aspiring entrepreneur, working a nine-to-five, juggling two or three jobs, quietly rebuilding, or simply trying to hold yourself together while growing through life in real time. This space and this circle is for you. It's for me. It's for us. So if you're listening andor watching, I want you to pull up a real chair or a digital chair and grab yourself a cup of hot or cold herbal tea. And welcome to my cozy home of Cut to the Chase at 8. Now C2TC8, Her Circle, a 15-minute micro learning moment for macro living transformation. And I am truly overjoyed that you are here because this is where we explore life together through our lived experiences, yours and mine, while giving ourselves real grace in this space as we navigate some really interesting times. And here we talk about spirit, mind, and body health because our health truly is our ultimate wealth in microdosis for macro living transformations. So make sure you join me twice daily for just 15 minutes. And remember that new episodes, 30 new episodes, come out on the 15th of every month for 15 days at 8 a.m. and 8 p.m. Central Standard Time. And today is the 30th episode for May. So this is a wrap-up for the No More Night series. And remember that this is your daily pause for a cause, for clarity, wellness, discernment, grace, healing, intentional decision making, and rebuilding. Because how we start our day and how we end it matters. And each episode, my offer to you is three keys and one reflective question with something practical, something grounded, and something you could carry with you long after this episode ends. So wherever you're listening from, I want you to turn it up and tune in. And if anything you hear today pricks your heart or lights a spark, I'd love for you to subscribe and share this episode with someone you care about. And please leave a comment so that this episode becomes a dialogue and not a monologue. And leave a five-star review or rating so that this space can continue to grow and serve others. Now let's take one breath together. We're going to inhale for three, two, one, exhale for five, four, three, two, one. Let's lean into today's episode of Cut to the Chase at eight. It's D2TC8, her circle. High performing, empowered women who are ready to thrive. Let's cut the noise, let's get clear, let's get ready, set to go and grow and toward the life we were truly called to steward. So the title for today's episode is again a final episode in the No More Night series, which is rooted, not reachable. Over the last several episodes, we've talked about boundaries, we've talked about inherited survival patterns, we've talked about reciprocity, we've talked about community, and through all of those conversations, one theme kept appearing: access. Who has access to us? And who expects access to us? And who feels entitled to our time, our spirit, our attention, our emotions, our wisdom, our resources, our labor, our peace, and our kindness. And perhaps an even more important question: why do we sometimes feel obligated to give it? Because many of us were taught that being a good person meant being available. Being nice meant saying yes. Being loving meant being accommodating. Being dependable meant showing up. Being compassionate meant caring more than our share. And while those qualities can be beautiful, many of us were never taught the difference between connection and access. Because connection and access are not the same thing. Someone can love you without having unlimited access to you. Someone can care about you without having immediate access to you. Someone can be connected to you without having unrestricted access to your time, your spirit, your energy, your presence, your emotions, or your peace. And that's where many of us struggle. Because we've spent years believing that access is proof of our love, that availability is proof of our kindness, that responsiveness is proof of care. But what if that's not true? What if some of us have confused constant availability with healthy relationships? What if we've confused being reachable with being lovable? And what if we've confused being useful with being valuable? Because those are not the same thing. And being needed is not the same as being loved. And being useful is not the same as being valued. And being accessible, I learned this the hard way, is not the same as being appreciated. And earlier in the season, we talked about being nice. And one thing that I've come to realize is that the opposite of nice isn't mean. The opposite of performative niceness is discernment. It's being able to say yes when our yes is aligned, and being able to say no when our no is wise. Without making either one means something about our worth. We've been rewarded for being the fixer, the helper, the consultant, the manager, the publicist, the social media expert, the planner, the organizer, the listener, the caregiver, the caretaker, the emotional first responder, the therapist, the one who remembers everyone else's birthday. And then you notice when people don't remember yours. The one who checks on everybody, the one who carries the emotional labor. And after years of doing this, people begin expecting it. Not necessarily because they're malicious, but because we've trained them to expect it. And eventually we find ourselves exhausted, overextended, emotionally depleted, and not because we're doing too much, but because people expect us to do exactly what we're doing. But because too many of us have access, too many people have access to parts of us they were never meant to steward. And one of the things I've been learning in that is that rooted people make different decisions than reachable people. Let me say that again. One of the things I've been learning is that rooted people make different decisions than reachable people. Because reachable people often ask, who needs me? But rooted people ask, where am I called to steward and who am I called to that is a part of the purpose for my life? Reachable people ask, how can I keep everyone else happy? But rooted people ask, what is the wisest decision in being connected to this person? Reachable people ask, how do I avoid disappointing people? And how do I avoid confrontation? But rooted people ask, what and who aligns with my values? And do I have the capacity for this? And is this my calling? And recently I've been thinking about something else. Every yes costs something, every commitment costs something, every obligation costs something, every responsibility costs something. It either costs our time away from our dream and our purpose or towards it. Energy away or towards our purpose or attention, our focus, our peace, our capacity. And eventually I had to ask myself, what am I saying no to every time I say yes to something that isn't aligned? Because stewardship requires capacity. And we cannot steward our peace if everyone has unrestricted access to it. We cannot steward our healing if everyone has unrestricted access to it. We cannot steward our purpose if everyone has unrestricted access to it. We cannot steward our calling if everyone has unrestricted access to it. And perhaps that's why roots matter. And roots don't chase, roots don't perform, roots don't explain themselves to every passing opinion. Roots are anchored, roots stabilize, roots nourish, roots protect, and roots grow slowly, and roots grow deeply. And because of that, rooted things survive storms. And people of faith, we see this modeled repeatedly. Jesus loved people deeply. And not everyone received the same level of access. Not everyone traveled with him. Not everyone was in his inner circle. Not because he lacked love for them, but because stewardship requires discernment. And maybe that's where some of us are today. Not being called to become isolated, not being called to become cold, not being called to become unavailable, but being called to become rooted because rooted people still love, rooted people still serve, rooted people still show up, rooted people still build community. They simply do so from discernment rather than obligation. And perhaps that's one of the greatest lessons of this entire season for me, at least in this No More Night series. We do not have to make ourselves available to everyone to remain connected to what matters. And we do not have to explain every boundary, we do not have to justify every no, we do not have to prove our worth through accessibility. Our value does not increase because people can reach us. Our value comes from who we are, not how available we are. The goal was never to become unreachable. The goal was never to become unreachable. The goal was to become rooted, rooted in our values, rooted in our faith, rooted in our purpose, rooted in our healing, rooted in our discernment, rooted enough to know that access is a privilege, not an entitlement, and rooted enough to stop apologizing for stewarding what we've been called to protect. Which brings me to the three keys. Key number one, connection and access are not the same thing. Key number two, being needed is not the same as being loved. Key number three, rooted people steward their energy instead of distributing it to everybody indiscriminately. And the reflection question: what would change in our lives if we stopped measuring our value by how available we are to everyone else? So if today's episode pricked your heart or lit a spark or gave language to something you've been carrying, or reminded you that our peace deserves stewardship too, and that we could still be rooted and reachable, or rooted and unreachable, and we could discern which works best for us once we're rooted in our truth. Then I'd love for you to subscribe and share this episode with someone you care about, and leave a comment so that this becomes a dialogue and not a monologue that we continue. And please leave a five-star review so that this space can continue to grow and serve others. And if you've been quietly rebuilding alongside with me and you love to join a community, uh, and join her circle, whose goal is to become a soul full CEO community as we continue discerning and healing and growing, rebuilding and thriving and healing and becoming together in real time because this season is not about becoming silent, it is about becoming rooted. So thank you for joining me here for another 15-minute micro learning moment for macro living transformation. Let's close with one breath together. We're going to inhale for three, two, one, exhale for five, four, three, two, one. I'm Madison Simone Chase, and this is Cut to the Chase at eight now, C2TC8, her circle. Let's cut the noise, let's get clear, let's get ready, set, and go and grow and be great and lean into the life we were truly called to steward. Blessings to you and yours until tomorrow.