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Hehehe is a comedy podcast with best friends Steven Rogers, Peter Wong, and Tayler Yarish just being silly and making each other laugh. It’s loose, friendly, and a little mischievous. Think hanging out with your funniest friends and laughing at stuff you probably shouldn’t.
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Ep. 018—It's A Date
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The boys are back! They discuss Peter's big date, inappropriate things to say around Girlfriends firends, a hot new ad read, and Tayler takes his shirt off! Give it a listen.
@taylercomedy
@stevenrogerscomedy
@peterwongcomedy
It's time to shut the shut up.
SPEAKER_01It went from a song to slow motion talk.
SPEAKER_03Many could argue we're hardly singing when we do this. Yeah, that's fair. The fact that we slow it down is the closest that we're really getting to singing.
SPEAKER_01Well, let's just say this.
SPEAKER_03Sure, she doesn't want to be that was the bit of a So we'll just say this. So I went on a date. Or I thought, right? Well, I I you know, we're we're we're out. This is uh um backstory's not important, but I met her a year ago and then whatever, two things fizzled, and then you know, we had an opportunity to get coffee again. So we did that. And uh so we're having a good time, we're laughing. It's like a good it's like a 180 from our first date last year, where it was just uh gloomy and stupid. Where it was just like it was raining and she never smiled at anything. Um I mean that could be me. I w maybe I wasn't on my game.
SPEAKER_01Was it a room in a room like this?
SPEAKER_03Or Scott. Scott's the first episode Scott's listening into live from outside. Um so we uh had a good time. Um and then uh at one point I was like I went for like a hand hold, and then uh she's like uh you know she's like, oh, why are you trying to hold my hand? And I go, because I want to, you know. And I go, uh there's a dopamine increase when you hold hands. You got scientific. Yeah, nice, always a good sign.
SPEAKER_02And that's always and you know that line usually gets when you're breaking out, studies have shown.
SPEAKER_03Why are you trying to kiss me? Well, because uh our biology wants that.
SPEAKER_01When your lips touch my lips, uh, you'll get closer to me whether you like it or not.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, care bonding is essential in the early stages.
SPEAKER_03So then she kind of she goes, Yeah, like uh I only um I I uh like I I would only do hand holds with like like people with like romantic uh with like a romantic partner or something like that, you know? Like a boyfriend or not or just someone I'm dating. You know what I mean? Um and then by that I was trying to decipher whether by that she meant we're not there yet, or this is not a date. This is not a date. So then I was like, so then I just you know how I like to dig my heels in if I'm kind of I was like oh okay, well, first of all, if you don't want to hold hands totally valid, that's fine. But is I thought this was uh a date. And she goes, Oh, really? Why did you think that? What? What? Yeah, and I I go, uh well, I I she she goes, when you texted me, you said uh you went, um so you single right now, and uh and then she she goes, I said no. Um I said yes. Uh you know, oh uh and uh you know I was like still looking for Mr. Wright or whatever, what about you? And I was like, I'm just looking for whatever come, you know, whatever girl shows up. Amazing, okay. You know, and then uh and then I go, totally unrelated. What are you doing Sunday?
SPEAKER_01So because of that, she thought she believed the totally unrelated, yeah.
SPEAKER_03And then I I go, I go, listen, um, you are a very very intelligent person. But you're stupid. No, I go, let's not pretend that that like let's not for you. Let's not pretend. And she goes, No, I really don't know. I really didn't. And then I was like, okay, sure.
SPEAKER_02Uh what were you remind me? What were you doing on the date? Like, what was the date?
SPEAKER_03Where were you would you meet up, or like what was we got a coffee, went to the park, and then there was some laughs, and then there's a couple times I put like my leg on her. Right, so you're my leg on her hand.
SPEAKER_02So okay, so you're this is a clear you're doing all the things.
SPEAKER_03It's like I'm saying stuff like um oh, uh like uh your eyes are like we're gorgeous, right? And she goes, Oh, you know you said that the first time. We we we went out, uh we did the time. I was like this girl sucks. I was like, okay, right? And uh and then I and like let me just let me just read that the the back and forth.
SPEAKER_01Because I started doubting myself that does suck.
SPEAKER_03I mean I started doubting myself. I was like You did that the first time. I was like, was I really unclear? Because I thought I was fairly, you know, so then this is this is what what happens, okay? Um so uh we have you know, she's been responding to like stories that I put up, and then so I just go, hey, so what are you up to nowadays seeing anybody? Oh, we have a little chat. Then I go, what are you up to nowadays, seeing anybody? She goes, still waiting for my prince charming you. I go, waiting for whatever girl comes by. She goes, Wow, what standards you have? Uh-huh. Impossible to please. Then I go, it could be you, and a little heart, the purple heart, whatever the you know, I don't know if the color.
SPEAKER_01Oh, yeah. Let her know that you support the troops. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Exactly.
SPEAKER_01Then I go save somebody.
SPEAKER_03Unrelated, what are you up to Sunday night winky face? Winky. She goes, I don't like to be in a category of whatever girl, LOL, right? And she goes, depends on what time, why? And then I respond to her, I don't like to be in a category whatever girl. I go, no, of course, you're super special. And then I say, She goes, Why? I go, because I want to get a drink slash coffee and blah blah blah blah.
SPEAKER_02This is a very you uh joke to make. I will say over text your humor can be misconstrued. However, it is still silly to go out and think that this is not a date.
SPEAKER_03I still I think it is so ridiculous.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I think that's queer that you're asking her out. There's no that's not there's not a like a read between the lines uh like decoder situation there.
SPEAKER_02Yes. So that's why also to tell to even say to me looking still looking for my Prince Charming. It's like to me, that's like somewhat forward.
SPEAKER_01It's kind of it is super funny. I'm looking for Prince Charming, and then you say the most unprince charming thing. Yeah, it is so funny.
SPEAKER_02You're like, yeah, I'm just waiting for some fish to bite my hook.
SPEAKER_03And well, you know me, Steve. If I if I were to say, Well, your Prince Charming's right here, one, two, three, snap, or whatever. Yeah, that there's no one's going for that. 100%.
SPEAKER_01No, you did what you should have done.
SPEAKER_03Right. You did you, whether that was the best line available, debatable. Sure. Certainly, me saying Prince Charming is right here is so and to is so anti me. And I don't know that because I've been I've tried stuff like that before. You have to be you. Oh, I'm looking for whatever then this guy's here, and they go block you immediately or whatever. I've done that. So I already know that that's I'm not doing that. All that said, that's even besides the point where it is very crystal clear. Where to the point is, I don't believe that she didn't know.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, it's so funny if if you got a message going, this person just blocked you from what you just because of what you just said. Wow. Like how you know you know how you can reply to someone's message, even if it's from a couple methods ago, it shows the the blocked. Yeah, connects the thread.
SPEAKER_03You have been blocked.
SPEAKER_02And it's because of this message right here. This is what did it, just so you know.
SPEAKER_01Oh man.
SPEAKER_03So uh what what I I don't believe that she did she didn't know. I mean, there you she she's in her 30s. You're you don't get to that age, yeah, and then just wonder why a guy asked you and this said all those things. So after hearing that you're single, yeah. Yeah, I believe that uh just you know, she went out, maybe just had the I thought of like, well, let's see what what it is, and it didn't go, maybe just she didn't wasn't feeling it. And uh I I this I can't fathom why she chose this line uh to go this path instead to instead of just going, hey, I'm not feeling this, yeah, but to go, oh well, this is not a day, this is a friend thing. Obviously, it's a friend thing. How could you think otherwise?
SPEAKER_02That's well, that is easier to say, and she's led off the hook a little bit more than just being honest about it's way it's probably way uh harder to be like, yeah, I'm not into this. Yeah. Because then it's like how do you react?
SPEAKER_03What if I'm like a violent person after sure?
SPEAKER_02Right? Is that the yes, yes. But it's it's still uh it's still silly for her to think that you're gonna. Well, I am. Yeah. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03You sure you sure I'll let you take that back before I get violent.
SPEAKER_02I get violent when people are confused by my messages.
SPEAKER_03It's either my hand on your hand or this fist in your face. And we don't condone any of it. We don't none of it.
SPEAKER_01We uh we will donate to the Snow Foundation after uh those bits. Sorry.
SPEAKER_03It's a joke that I wouldn't normally make, but I did have to, yes, and you you don't know you didn't set up the platform there.
SPEAKER_01I know that when violence got mentioned, there was a boost in as the guy that came in saying, I'm tired. Yeah, you have a little bit more energy.
SPEAKER_03Don't pretend that you didn't build part of that stage.
SPEAKER_01Okay, but the bridge met in the middle. I'm not putting the full plate on you. I'm just saying Okay, I do have some of the anchors on my side of the river.
SPEAKER_04I put the thing on there and you go, whoa, whoa, what the hell?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, but the bridge is named after you. Oh, yeah, it's definitely the Peter Wong Bridge.
SPEAKER_03Oh, sir. Yes. That I'll take uh I'll take. So, you know, I think um I think if a I think if a guy were to say something like that, you know, I think it's just you you would I don't think a guy can get away with saying something like that.
SPEAKER_01A guy saying I didn't think this was this is not a date, or I I don't believe this is a a date is not a move. I agree, it's not a move that we could always do.
SPEAKER_03I'm sure you can pull it off, but when I that one time I went out with uh uh He he had all the time in the world before saying the name to James All the time, it really baffled me that that came out.
SPEAKER_04Well, the funny thing is the pause. I thought the pause was how what else should I say in the world?
SPEAKER_02I can't believe it I have nothing to hide. I mean that a bit is that should I we could read that out? No, no, no.
SPEAKER_01Let's let's definitely keep it. We'll keep it in it and you keep going.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Well, I was gonna say, uh Let me just redo that, re-reenact it. We're gonna go.
SPEAKER_03Well, it's like the time I went out with uh Is it that long?
SPEAKER_01Yes. It really looked like you were gonna sub out some people, but make sure that we knew who you were talking about. Uh-huh. It looked like all well, bleep it.
SPEAKER_02I didn't I didn't know that uh I don't know. The pause was not like, should I say it or not? I don't know. I just had the pause was just for I just had a mental dramatic effect.
SPEAKER_01Okay, well, go on. I forgot that you did go on a date with somebody uh where you didn't realize it was a date.
SPEAKER_02Well, not at first. I didn't realize that it was a date at first, and then obviously I caught on, but it didn't like come up. But at one point she said, she's like, you knew I was uh you knew that this was like a date. And I said yes, um, because I knew it was then, but I that was like she just came out and and said said it.
SPEAKER_05It wasn't there was no part of me that would have been like what is that what is that what this is? Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_02You know, but maybe that's different because we we already like knew each other.
SPEAKER_01We should know guys, should know better, but I think and also women are are looking to have male friends, but and then sometimes they think they finally have a male friend, and exactly, which is why it's like it's on us to almost be more hesitant.
SPEAKER_03We have more authority to say, like, maybe this is hey, maybe this is not we have more room for believing that they're truly looking for a friend. Whereas a guy inviting a girl out, it's almost never, it's almost never like just yeah.
SPEAKER_01I went out with with someone and the entire time we were out. That's how I should have said it, huh? Yes, okay uh the entire time we were out, I didn't uh make any advances further than asking them out and us being together on the date, having the date, and me knowing during the date, oh this is a one-time thing. I'm not even gonna try to kiss, I'm not gonna do any of that. This this was this is very platonic. Uh that's the closest to that I've experienced where I'm like, I'm not even gonna tell, like, in wait, I'm getting I'm confused.
SPEAKER_03So this was someone you asked out with some hopes of it being more, and then on the date you made the decision to keep uh like a low ceiling of what you'll do.
SPEAKER_01I was reading the room, I was reading her where I was like, she she could very well know, but this is this is it. Well and what what was the reason for it's just the I don't know how to describe it other than the vibe, the vibe you just kind of know. Well, not not all of us. I I agree, I agree with that because I've had uh the uh those situations as well, but that one in particular, I was like, oh, I don't even have to get rejected because I can tell from this energy right. See, that's where we're different. I did have fun, I actually think I left that date and had more fun with the rest of my night, like went and hung out with maybe even you guys or something.
SPEAKER_03Uh once I find out it's not a date, there's no more fun.
SPEAKER_02For anybody, and I make sure of that.
SPEAKER_03Do you start counting down? This is where we're different, right? Is that you for you it's obvious there was a vibe that that you could detect. Sure. For that, for me, it's not. I don't know the I don't have that the that I wasn't built with that.
SPEAKER_02And I'm getting a little better at it, but nonetheless, wait, just you're not good at at like reading the room.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. I disagree. I can read the room if they're like if they're as visibly scared and like uh afraid of something to help to them. That I know. That I have a lot of practice in. What if she was doing that? I've seen that a million times.
SPEAKER_01What if she's sitting there like this?
SPEAKER_03Then I probably just told a joke. Okay, wow.
SPEAKER_02So you think you're not good at reading a room like that.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I've had to. I mean, it's the reason why I openly go.
SPEAKER_02Is this fun? Are we having a good time? I probably just told a joke.
SPEAKER_03But it is like where like I do sometimes gotta go, well, you know, uh is there a vibe going on here? Or you know, we have fun. But uh but that said, what's the sorry I think generally um I I can never read it and for a while, and I still think this is good practice that I read in a pickup book, which is oh just assume attraction. You know, just assume they're assume they're attracted. Assume they're attracted, which is then I get like, oh, am I going to dangerous territory, right? Like obviously, if they're going like no, no, no, uh, don't touch me, I can't assume that they're attracted. You know, that book needs to be updated.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, that's but why don't you do me a favor? One of the first pages, there'll be a year. Uh and if that year doesn't have a two in twice, you gotta get a new book. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03The guy asked her out via letter, then uh and I don't mean 2002, I mean 2020 something. 1922. So yeah, I I uh although I do think that like as a I think that just means be confident in a way, right? The more you're worried about like, oh, she hates me or whatever, I think the worse you're you're faring.
SPEAKER_01I would almost I wouldn't I wouldn't a thousand I wouldn't hundred percent disagree with the assume attraction, but I would almost redirect the that energy to I know I'm fun, I know I'm a good hang, I know I'm a catch. And once I I feel like when you're that, like when you know you're a good time, which you definitely know that about yourself, and that's like the present. Okay, well, I'll say I got to a place where I felt that way by the time I got on my first date with Olivia. And I feel like when you show up and you have fun your way, and then they're doing the same, and then it clicks, that's that's great. But sometimes you're just putting on a show and you're like, well, that crowd wasn't my favorite. You know what I mean?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, you're not you're not even necessarily assuming attraction, you're just assuming like a good time. Because attraction is like a tricky word because it's it's uh it's just much more like romantic.
SPEAKER_01There's like a lustfulness to that word that I've never had a a woman going, we gotta get out of here.
SPEAKER_02We gotta it's I gotta get out of here. So I I yeah, I think assuming that you're having assuming she's having a good time is a better way to that's so funny.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I think uh that it was uh let's just go with that woman's really silly.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I would say I would say so.
SPEAKER_02I just you know so had okay, how did it end?
SPEAKER_03So then uh that we still had to walk uh like eight blocks, you know, I'm heading back to my place and then did you change your pace? What to be faster or slower? Faster? I'm sprinting so we're walking, and then she's asking, like, so are you like sad that it's not a what is what is that?
SPEAKER_01What is that?
SPEAKER_02At that point, I would I would yes and and like make it to a crazy degree. Like, I'm actually I'm absolutely heartbroken.
SPEAKER_01I don't even know I actually have to cancel reservations, yeah.
SPEAKER_03I gotta tell the band not to come.
SPEAKER_02Are you so are you sad that this is okay? What did you say?
SPEAKER_03And I I literally went, what are you talking about? I was like, what? Uh and then uh and I literally go, but this is kind of funny. And she's like, why? Like she's kind of like I I literally I do think she was. I I think she knew, and I think she was a little caught off balance by my directness about the whole thing. Sure. That's not to necessarily say that she's impressed by any means, but I think she maybe expected me to kind of fold and go, Oh, okay, it's not a date, obviously. You're just a cool looking person, you know. So we walk and then um, so then uh we she goes, so I'm this way. I'm like, all right. And then she goes, uh, so what what what do we do now? She's like, uh uh, well, we don't hold hands. She goes, like, are you know, um we gonna hang out again? I go, well, if I'm being honest, uh, if it's uh I would be motive, I'm motivated by uh uh it being a date if we're gonna hang out, but if not, that's tot totally cool, you know? And she goes, Well, that's so sad. I like just hanging around cool people. And I was like, Oh, you know, uh, sometimes I have these big board game meetups, and you should come to one of those, and then and then I was like, You can meet someone too, like it could be really cool, you know? And she's like, No, you don't have to be like nice or anything.
SPEAKER_01I was like, I was like, at every at every off ramp that you direct her to as her GPS, she goes, Nope, I want to stay on this highway.
SPEAKER_02It's like weird like manipulation, reverse psychology. There's so many things happening.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I think it's a lot of people pleasing.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Well, it's to be like, what? This isn't a date. Are you sad this isn't a date? So when are we gonna hang out again? Like, what the fuck?
SPEAKER_04What do you want?
SPEAKER_01You should have worn his hat that day.
SPEAKER_04What are you come on?
SPEAKER_03Yeah. Um that's crazy.
SPEAKER_01I think sh there's just uh uh there's some pleasure that she's probably getting in just you know I love both of you so much, and one thing I love about you is the light in your eyes whenever you hit certain words and pleasure is definitely one of them.
SPEAKER_03Well, I think there's something there's probably something about that there's there's just a guy willing to get out there and and try to put the effort in being approached is uh uh and being see seeing your people seeing you as attractive and desirable is definitely uh a good thing.
SPEAKER_01Yes. Um feels good, I should say.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. And uh, you know, uh yeah. Uh but I I I I don't know what she was expecting from that. Um so I I can even begin to really dissect her her her rationale for coming out, knowing how obvious things were. Um and I refuse to believe that it was like what happened?
SPEAKER_02What's what's bothering you? It's just the whole situation just yeah, confuses me and and uh upsets me. I don't like any of it.
SPEAKER_03Well it brings me back a little to my like incel days a little bit. Really? Oh, just for a bit, I'm like, oh you yeah, like, you know, well what is what is this even what you know it's ridiculous. Um but you know you actually like that this is happening. That's what it says, you actually like that this is happening?
SPEAKER_01Change personality. Oh yeah, she uh No, I mean she's a fucking bitch. I mean she's uh, you know, like you're you're a good No, I I had it, you like that this is happening. Oh, that's what you oh you told me that okay, got it.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I had to read it going, I don't know what's happening now.
SPEAKER_02I didn't you have to change your personality. Oh man. Man, well this is exciting, you know. This is yeah, is it it's it's exciting, you know, because you're you're you're you're taking uh big swings and you know you're you're learning more about yourself, about other people. It's all more information that can only help you in the future.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, yeah. I you know that's true.
SPEAKER_02You should see this as a positive.
SPEAKER_03Uh yeah. I want I'm trying I want to give him stuff to bounce off, but I just agree. I just agree. It's overall, obviously walking away. There's a part of me that's like, oh, I was hoping that that would end with like a rim job or something, you know, like you know, whatever.
SPEAKER_01I just thought this beautiful, this beautiful woman could come back to my place and bury her face.
SPEAKER_02And maybe it will next time, you know? Yeah, exactly.
SPEAKER_03Next time. Um so there was obviously that going, uh, like yeah, you know it never feels good. Yeah, it almost I it's all it was it feels it feels like a waste of time. Yeah, definitely um so yeah, I will say she I forgot how uh beautiful she.
SPEAKER_01Did you get you got one that you have to do?
SPEAKER_02Please explain.
SPEAKER_01He got the he has to take his shirt off for is it one minute? Five. It's a five minute shirt off. He's got a timer for five minutes. All right. Damn it, he's got abs when he's sitting down. I don't like this.
SPEAKER_03All right. Why don't we jump into some ad reads now while we're at it then? Yes.
SPEAKER_01Is anyone timing? I am, yeah. Okay. Starting now.
SPEAKER_03Oh whew.
SPEAKER_01All right. Damn it. That's a long paragraph I just missed. Um anyone got a character switch?
SPEAKER_03It's time for our Andrees. So uh we don't have a real sponsor yet. Uh, but in preparation. In preparation for the day that we do, uh, I've written uh an ad uh for us to read. This is a page. All right, Patrick. Yeah. So uh let's get started. Oh, by the way. One, two, three, four. Uh Taylor and Steve are reading this for the first time. They don't know what's on the page. Hey everyone! I am delighted to introduce today's sponsor, Blue Apron.
SPEAKER_01Before we say anything else, I would like to drop a blue apron freestyle. Taylor, can I have a peach? Sure. When you're hungry and at home and you're feeling all alone, get your box filled with treats like carrots, corn, and organic meats. Wait, please don't rise. Get your spices from the shelf and make a meal good for your health. They got chicken, beef, pork for lunch, veggies, nuts half a punch. I make a meal every week. I'm thinking about dinner as we speak. Before me and my girlfriend get it in a bite, I'm gonna tell her it's taco nights. Uh ground beef and tortillas with some sauce. That's the morning. Wait. Oh, that's how she knows I'm the boss. I'll do that again. Ground beef and tortillas with some sauce. That's how she knows I'm the boss. Then in the morning, we have some toast, a type of yogurt toast. Blue apron is number one. Every meal makes me go yum. Healthy and happy is what I be. Go to blue apron, use Cody. Wow.
SPEAKER_03That's really great, Steve. That was nice job. You know what? This week, a little different because we have another sponsor. Today, we are proud to share with you Nord VPN. Nord VPN. Wait, Pete.
SPEAKER_01Taylor, drop another B. Sorry to stop you, my good friend. I'm about to rap about Nord VPN. You got a movie that you want to see, but it's in a country where you gotta be. Well, NordVPN lets you say you're there. NordVPN says you say you're anywhere. Uh now you can watch that film from Greece, but that's not all. And NordVPN can't do some website. That's no problem in this day and age. NordVPN lets you change your IP address. That's my favorite feature, I must confess. Another thing, what if you want if you can't go on YouTube when you're using Wi-Fi at school?
SPEAKER_03That one was tough. I really well.
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SPEAKER_03Great job, Steve.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, that was a magnificent rap. Peter, do you ever use Nord VPN ever?
SPEAKER_03As a matter of fact, I do. There is a porn category that is illegal in this country. And using a VPN to treat my phone as if it's in another country lets me watch it without issue.
SPEAKER_02Oh, what kind of category is it?
SPEAKER_03Well, you know I can't say that without getting in trouble.
SPEAKER_02Oh, yeah, that's true.
SPEAKER_03But here's a hint. You know the category barely legal?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, that's one of my favorites. The idea that she just turned 18 and is now being used is one of my favorite things in the world. Sometimes I'll put on one of those videos and have a bottle of grapeseed oil nearby. That way, when it's time, I can cover my shaft. That's the slippery. Three pumps and it's game over for me.
SPEAKER_03Right. Well, as I was saying, there's barely legal. Then there's the stuff I use the VPN to get to.
SPEAKER_01That's really awesome. Well, let's wrap this up with one more freestyle. Hit it, Taylor. This is the end of the ad read. Hope by now you're up to speed. Peter, Taylor, and Steven R. Hope this pod goes very far. This is the best day for me. And now back to our episode of E. There we go. Well done. It has to be five minutes.
SPEAKER_03Oh, certainly. God damn it. Certainly.
SPEAKER_01You love game over for me.
SPEAKER_03That's probably the third time I've used game over for me. Maybe four.
SPEAKER_01That is game over for me.
SPEAKER_02Oh this is what a landline this is.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, that's a big landline.
SPEAKER_03Oh, yeah. If you guys, for the viewers, if you read this, you must take off your shirt for five minutes. That's the that's the whole one.
SPEAKER_02If you cut any part of that out, I'm just gonna look.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. One of us has to edit the ad reading.
SPEAKER_02I will comment. I'll be like, please watch the full episode to see why.
SPEAKER_01I'm shirtless before you are. Are you sure we're shirtless? Oh, that's true. That's true. But we're not getting any clips from that part. Oh well.
SPEAKER_03Um, yeah. I actually wrote that that all that, you know, in that last ad read. Uh I put myself in a bad position just in case one of you had the change character card.
SPEAKER_02This is what's great about this card game. I had it and I didn't use it.
SPEAKER_03You chose that- You had it!
SPEAKER_01I had it, I didn't use it. Oh, do you want to discard? That's why I also do you want to discard that? Oh, can I oh I forgot I could do that.
SPEAKER_03Picks up another one, take off your pants for five minutes. For ten. So that's also why I wrote one for you, Taylor, as well, just in case he had a card and he didn't switch. Uh so that he could say a little bit. Uh, anyways. So no matter what, someone's saying something now, which I guess is the great thing about this game, yeah, is it it puts me in uh at risk too.
SPEAKER_01I love it. That was great. Everyone was uh I'm actually glad I first of all my abs hurt from reading the ad read. That was really fun. Did you write how long did it take you to write the freestyle?
SPEAKER_03Uh it took like 20, 25 minutes. Wow. It was very hard. Yeah. And not, and it's very bad. Right. It is like uh the middle school teacher.
SPEAKER_02Well, it's hard to uh uh to to rhyme, but also keep a through line like a narrative going. Where like one line kind of leads to the next and it sounds like you're just having a normal part.
SPEAKER_03So when you do it, I'm I am always impressed. Um and obviously you must have spent I mean you must just have the time to do that.
SPEAKER_02Uh what do you what you mean when I'm I'm thinking of it just out of nowhere, or when I sat down and wrote?
SPEAKER_03I mean just in general. Just to just to do that is just must be a you must have nothing better to do.
SPEAKER_01Uh well that's true. That's that's definitely true. You don't think you could do it effortlessly. You think you'd have to always sit down for 20.
SPEAKER_03Who, me?
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Uh yeah. Actually, you know, there is something that happens when you write versus when you freestyle, where you're actually the the fact that you're not writing is actually freeing you up to be less like contrived. Like every single one of those, you could you're thinking of the end line first.
SPEAKER_02You're thinking of the end line first.
SPEAKER_03Whereas in a freestyle, you're not worried about the you're just worried about getting to the end of a sentence and then thinking about like the next thing. And yeah, and it's a little more fluid when you freestyle.
SPEAKER_02It's also harder to it's like I could always I could only ever write for myself. I could never write a rap for somebody else to do because there's a things where it's like, oh, these two words you kind of have to say a little bit faster. Sure. Like this, you're trying to this is one syllable technically. Like there's a lot of things that you just can't get somebody to as we witnessed.
SPEAKER_01And uh it was so funny. Right before my girlfriend and I get in a fight, I tell her it's taco night.
SPEAKER_02So you thought of Taco Knight, and you're like, how can I so good?
SPEAKER_03I'm sure a couple of those came with the first line first, yeah, but the majority of them come with the second line first.
SPEAKER_01Nord VPN was difficult to do because of all the syllables.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, it's a lot of syllables. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Oh god.
SPEAKER_03Um, but yeah, I mean I've seen your reps. Yeah, they're you're even when you you know you're writing them, they're they sound really good. And from from obviously knowing your stand-up, you're uh better rapper, is what you're saying. All my all my jokes rhyme with from your stand-up, I it show I can tell you work really hard on writing.
SPEAKER_02Uh well, thank you.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. Why are you looking at me?
SPEAKER_02I for some reason was waiting for a turn. Me too. I think the genuine compliment was the turn. Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, he was playing 3D chess on that one. Uh I'm just you know happy to be with your friends and yeah, see them grow as as artists.
SPEAKER_03Yes, exactly.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_03And from your standup, you definitely um want to be liked. For sure.
SPEAKER_01Let me see if there's a go. Kiss my ass card.
SPEAKER_02I uh I went to uh next game, as you as you both know. Yes, my first next game.
SPEAKER_03Nonicks. Nonyx. Uh short for Knickerbockers.
SPEAKER_01Yes, I knew that. That's right. Is that funny? You made a face at me. You made a face.
SPEAKER_03Oh right, yeah, you know, a regular face.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. What what is a it's a street in Brooklyn. That's what it's from? I think. I mean, I just know that there is a knickerbocker. Uh it might be an av. Well in Brooklyn. Knickers are a are uh a type of pants.
SPEAKER_03That's true. Yes, yeah. Or in England, they that those are panties. So I'll be like, uh well, would you like to take off your knickers?
SPEAKER_02Right. Uh it still might be pants. Or no, is it is panties? I think it's panties. Okay.
SPEAKER_03Trousers are there are pants.
SPEAKER_02There.
SPEAKER_03Well, they're the little knickers, won't you?
SPEAKER_02They're the New York pantybockers and good basketball team. I went with Jess and she had a work event. So there's like all these like work corporate people there and stuff. And uh they kept having like after the game, they kept doing this running kind of one guy in particular, this uh kind of sassy gay guy. They kept redoing this bit about um how did he do it? How you know it it's it's it's more it was more it was more mannerisms than it was like a clear voice. Sure, you know, and and just also dress. Also, that's not the name that I gave him.
SPEAKER_01Wait, what? What?
SPEAKER_02As in I didn't come up with uh Sassy Gay guy.
SPEAKER_03Oh he that's like name he gave himself?
SPEAKER_02No.
SPEAKER_03Oh, you're saying okay.
SPEAKER_02Alright, so you're saying anyway, this guy kept saying uh like the players? He was talking about He was talking about the the men's bathroom and how like they were always like so gross, and uh about how one time somebody took like a dump in in the urinal and he just kept it kind of kept being this thing anytime somebody would go into the bathroom being like, Oh, was there a dump in the urinal? Like uh and then somebody would come back, no dump in the urinal. Oh boy. And uh and then Jess made some comment about like how men's bathrooms, they're always like you know, so gross, or just it's gross because it's the guy's because it's the guy's bathroom. And she goes, she's like, like if I get in a guy's car and I see uh an empty bottle, I know that there's been piss in that. And then the guy was like, Who are you hanging out with? And I just went, I just raised my hand thinking that would be funny, and no one laughed. And they just kind of like moved on, and uh and and it's because they're those are like work people, right? Yeah, okay.
SPEAKER_03Oh, yeah, I can understand.
SPEAKER_02We're doing it's like you already went to potty humor, and so I Yes, but you're uh more like for some reason Yeah in that saying you do the thing is very different than saying, hey, look at that.
SPEAKER_01And I would have came back from the bathroom, and if they went, was there a is was there a dump in the urinal? I probably would have gone, there is now, which is also one that would bomb royally.
SPEAKER_03Well, what upset me was like nobody's would a diarrhea count as multiple dumps? Because that's then that's what I did. Diarrhea, the urinal will be insane to see.
SPEAKER_02Nobody saved me in the moment, but afterwards, like when it was silent, and then we were walking away. One guy, like, kind of aside, was like, like, they don't get it. Like, I've paid it. But he didn't laugh. He didn't, he didn't save me in well, because these are his work people, but he Yeah, and then no one talked to me. Uh keep that in your back pocket then.
SPEAKER_03I've learned I've my my my buddy uh he he once went to work function and then told someone at the at like this thing, it's like, yeah, so me and my buddies were like, we'll send uh photos of our dicks to each other in the group chat, and he thought that would get a laugh. And the other friends like, oh yeah, okay, that's um interesting that you do that. And then he told us, and like almost everyone in the chat is like, Don't tell anyone, yeah. That's just it's not gonna work. Yeah, people just don't get that.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, you need a good amount of con even with the context, honestly. I don't know if it's ever okay.
SPEAKER_01Years of friendship and a penis?
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I've shown I even after years, I've there's some people I've shown like my asshole to via photo, yeah. And uh that that uh changed the friendship negatively.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, you mean uh yeah, again with the with the big swings, you're you you take a lot of swings, you know.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I guess.
SPEAKER_01Do you think that also helps you know who you can be close with, though?
SPEAKER_03Yes, it feels it's a filtering mechanism, not on purpose, but it does happen to filter people.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, yeah. I guess if they're still here, yeah, they they're not going anywhere.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, and it's kind of why that is the way I am on dates with women, or I'll make it like a joke. You go, look at this big shit. She's like, uh this isn't a date. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Does this look weird? And I don't want you to hold my hand.
SPEAKER_02Well, is there something that you get from the other person that that gives you the signal of like, all right, I'm gonna throw it out there and see how it's received? Because there might be somebody who you could be friends with, but you show them too early, and then it's weird.
SPEAKER_01The amount of people that I have witnessed him show the egg video to is I think more than five. Link in the show notes.
SPEAKER_03Uh so what Steven's referring to is there's a video of me um My friends bet that I couldn't crack an egg with my asshole. Well, not my not my asshole, but my cheeks. My cheeks. And so there's a two and a half minute video of me trying. And it's very graphic.
SPEAKER_01You see my of the video of the guy couldn't do it with his bicep. Well, he could do it. He could do it. And I thought it was a stupid video.
SPEAKER_03Right. I couldn't tell if it was satire or it was just they're saying it's hard. And then that I go, I bet I could do it with my ass. They go, we bet you five dollars each that you can't. And you would have got so little money.
SPEAKER_0140 bucks, 20 bucks.
SPEAKER_03Uh 30 something. Which um they they were nice enough to pay me anyways, even though I couldn't get crack it.
SPEAKER_01And why?
SPEAKER_03Huh? What because they saw the effort. Oh, they could hear it too, because I'm breathing very hard. I almost passed out.
SPEAKER_02Did you did the egg? Did you go like this or like this? Which way did you try to crack it? Like this.
SPEAKER_03Okay, so you tried to Which I think is that would make the most sense, right?
SPEAKER_02None of it makes sense.
SPEAKER_01Wait a minute, you did it like this? You gotta do it like this. There's your problem right there.
SPEAKER_03I guess another way is like this.
SPEAKER_02Like like this. Right, like directly in.
SPEAKER_01Um that's how they come out. So I think that'd be the most sturdy.
SPEAKER_03Oh, yeah, that's a good point. Yeah. That's something I probably should have thought about too, is that they do come out at a pretty tight area.
SPEAKER_02Uh yeah, yeah, that's true.
SPEAKER_01Right? I I've seen women see this video. Yep. And they've all you you are I will say, you're a good warnings. Your warnings are very good about it.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. What do you remember me saying?
SPEAKER_01You do see my uh nuts in this video. Asshole. And my asshole. See my ass. And my dick. Uh and uh imagine I warn an egg. Imagine I warn someone about two of those three, and then they're offended by the third. And you always change what one you leave out. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02And the best part is you don't spoil what happens in the video. You don't spoil whether or not you get it. Yeah, so they watch the two and a half minutes. Because that leaves the curiosity of, like, well, I gotta know what happens.
SPEAKER_03That's how you get them. Yeah, that's true. Also, side note, I have a bowl under just in case I do. I really thought I was gonna get it, and I could catch the yolk.
SPEAKER_01I'm surprised you didn't have a frying band understanding.
SPEAKER_03That would have been maybe into a blender, and then you can have the like a breakfast.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, that that's that's half of a jackass sketch that you just did. This is the egg crack and it cracks into like steam of stuff.
SPEAKER_03Now, if I were to guess, looking at you, you've seen like someone that could do it. I don't know what's happening. I don't think he could do it.
SPEAKER_02Now, what's happening here?
SPEAKER_01I do not think he could do it.
SPEAKER_02Is they're tapping into my competitive nature and thinking that because they say I can't do it, I'm gonna leave here.
SPEAKER_03I mean, look. I don't know, you're a strong guy, but uh I don't know. I think you you have I don't know.
SPEAKER_01All the three of us, I think I could do it, but I don't think he could do it.
SPEAKER_02It's it's tough because well, it's tough because like when you think about like clenching your your glutes, you're just tightening the muscles. It's not necessarily you're not squeezing them together necessarily. Like that's a whole other you know, muscle. I don't even know how you would uh train that. Right, sure, sure. Also, I I if I were to like think I'm like, oh, I have to do this, I would I would get very nerdy about it, and I would probably get uh I'd probably get like a a bodega egg, like a really not like a farm-raised organic, because they have like a hard shell. Like a yeah, the the brown eggs you wouldn't get. I would not, no, I would never.
SPEAKER_03It'll be brown after. Yeah. Yes, but there's sometimes there are eggs that are so fragile that just picking them up you can already feel like that's what you want. I mean, yeah, that's true. I could have oh, that'd be brilliant if I did that. You should be so smart.
SPEAKER_02You get like a yeah, I would have used a Cadbury. That's a chocolate one. You can't see in the video, but like you you soft boil it for like seven minutes.
SPEAKER_04That doesn't help.
SPEAKER_02That makes it worse. No, no, that would that would because it softens it up.
SPEAKER_03Right? I don't know about that. Well, because you eggs benedict. And plus, if they see that it's cracking and nothing's leaking out, but they see just nice soft boiled.
SPEAKER_02Ah, bullshit. Yeah, I think they'd be upset at me.
SPEAKER_03I only got four, okay? These passive aggressive compliments, and I've been trying to do the entire show. That's why I was saying stuff like what ones can you? So my this is uh your car give five passive aggressive compliments.
SPEAKER_01Oh mine was uh you could tell that I'm trying to be like yes, yeah.
SPEAKER_03You're trying to be like I said the thing about your writing and uh Oh, so it wasn't genuine.
SPEAKER_02I was trying to say it was like I knew it wouldn't have come out of nowhere.
SPEAKER_01It makes so much sense now. It didn't, it was out of nowhere.
SPEAKER_03And I said this thing about uh oh, you have all this, you must have all this time in your on your hands to do the style.
SPEAKER_04And you really thought about that one.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I'm like, I don't know what's I didn't think a card was being played. That's really well done.
SPEAKER_03That was hard, uh, but I did want to be true to it. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01That's good. Well, we're uh we're close to wrapping up here.
SPEAKER_03Uh well good. Well, what do you got? We're about to float on to another one?
SPEAKER_01I I was trying to see if there was one that we haven't done yet. Well, we were just what were we just talking about? Well, we can do that. This whole thing has been a crazy trick. Impression. Uh do you combo as celebrity of dealers' choice. Uh so all three of us will do different uh personalities. Why don't you mean uh impression like impressions? Yeah, like a uh celebrity. Uh okay. You'll do walking. Okay. You do real bad. I gotta do someone I haven't seen you do. How about he does Gilbert Godfrey? Yeah. And then who do I do? You can pick who I do. Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_04Um yesterday uh I had a date. I thought, but it wasn't.
SPEAKER_01No. I tried to start a podcast with my friends thinking that I could share it as a clean comedian.
SPEAKER_03You're starting to sound like Stephen Hawking.
SPEAKER_00That guy's a frickin' reta. I'm forgotten.
SPEAKER_04Well then it's all okay for the audience.
SPEAKER_00I look really bad on this episode.
SPEAKER_04My God, it's really good. I look like a creep.
SPEAKER_01That I don't know how to do it.
SPEAKER_04Now you're Gilbert Godfrey.
SPEAKER_02And I'm Morgan Freeman.
SPEAKER_01Wow, what the hell? And I'm Morgan Freeman. Oh, I've tapped into it.
SPEAKER_02Nope, that was Sean Connery.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I'm Morgan Freeman. Sean Connery. Uh oh man, impressions are great. Yeah. I had uh when you do Gilbert F. Guffy, you really sound like a like a basket case.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_03I had uh I first no one's catching me on these. I might as well. Did you realize what I was doing? Oh, I realized use lyrics of songs to answer people until you're caught. How long have you been doing it? Like five minutes. I did creep, I did basket case, I did uh Crazy Train.
SPEAKER_01Oh my god, it just sounds like something you would do just song titles, not lyrics.
SPEAKER_03Oh, you're right. Well, technically that's yeah, I guess I guess that's true. But it's funny that he's that's how weird I am. Yeah. It sounds like he literally, uh yeah, yeah. I went back to his conversation. Yeah, it's something you would do. Maybe a real basket case. Uh yeah. That's right.
SPEAKER_01That's right. Crazy train. I I was like, oh, he's just being like silly.
SPEAKER_03I made that one today. Yeah, I was literally like, this whole pod has been a crazy trade. Yeah. No one said anything.
SPEAKER_01Um, I went to uh wait, do it. Deal the card. Deal it.
SPEAKER_03Freestyle about whatever we were talking just talking about for 45 seconds. It's him, right? No, it's to you. It was to you.
SPEAKER_02Um you don't hand it to me from him. You're right, you're right. I didn't say, can you pass this? Okay.
SPEAKER_03Uh talking like a different person. Every long I go, this rap is gonna worsen. I am here with my friends. This is going to be the end of my life pretty damn soon. I'm walking out flying to the moon. Every day it hurts a little more. I wish I fucked that whore yesterday, but on a date. Now my heart is filled with hate. Really want to choke her. Put her in a ditch, fuck that bitch. Maybe 30 seconds. Oh my god. By the way, this is that's just a rap.
SPEAKER_02I just said do the rap. You got 10 more seconds.
SPEAKER_03Uh now uh another card. I has been really hard this whole episode. I'm gonna Okay, okay. Oh, I could have played reverse. That would have been great. I thought that sounded pretty good for for given for what it was. You know?
SPEAKER_02I was debating between going a minute and 45 seconds, even is a long time.
SPEAKER_0345 seconds is a long time. For us, yes, especially. That don't do this. Yeah. I say it sounded pretty decent. It's not bad.
SPEAKER_01It was pretty yeah, it was good. Yeah, I like that you the end of your sentence started the next one.
SPEAKER_03Oh, yeah. You know.
SPEAKER_01Is that a thing that normally Yeah. Oh, okay. I don't really care for that stuff.
SPEAKER_03Uh um, well, if with that said, we just hit our time. I know you were telling a story.
SPEAKER_01Oh, it's it was uh filler.
SPEAKER_03Is that one of the cards? Yeah. That'd be great. We write a card that says uh tell a bullshit nonsense story, and then you have it and you go, Oh, thank god. Now I can just a story just doesn't hit. I go, look.
SPEAKER_01I was just doing a card. I'm making that card. I was just doing this card. I'm just doing this card. I'm I'm making that card today. All right.
SPEAKER_04Well, then for right this crazy trick.