Ep. 018—It's A Date

The boys are back! They discuss Peter's big date, inappropriate things to say around Girlfriends firends, a hot new ad read, and Tayler takes his shirt off! Give it a listen. 

@taylercomedy

@stevenrogerscomedy

@peterwongcomedy

Transcript

SPEAKER_03 0:00

It's time to shut the shut up.

SPEAKER_01 0:13

It went from a song to slow motion talk.

SPEAKER_03 0:20

Many could argue we're hardly singing when we do this. Yeah, that's fair. The fact that we slow it down is the closest that we're really getting to singing.

SPEAKER_01 0:32

Well, let's just say this.

SPEAKER_03 0:34

Sure, she doesn't want to be that was the bit of a So we'll just say this. So I went on a date. Or I thought, right? Well, I I you know, we're we're we're out. This is uh um backstory's not important, but I met her a year ago and then whatever, two things fizzled, and then you know, we had an opportunity to get coffee again. So we did that. And uh so we're having a good time, we're laughing. It's like a good it's like a 180 from our first date last year, where it was just uh gloomy and stupid. Where it was just like it was raining and she never smiled at anything. Um I mean that could be me. I w maybe I wasn't on my game.

SPEAKER_01 1:19

Was it a room in a room like this?

SPEAKER_03 1:24

Or Scott. Scott's the first episode Scott's listening into live from outside. Um so we uh had a good time. Um and then uh at one point I was like I went for like a hand hold, and then uh she's like uh you know she's like, oh, why are you trying to hold my hand? And I go, because I want to, you know. And I go, uh there's a dopamine increase when you hold hands. You got scientific. Yeah, nice, always a good sign.

SPEAKER_02 1:57

And that's always and you know that line usually gets when you're breaking out, studies have shown.

SPEAKER_03 2:05

Why are you trying to kiss me? Well, because uh our biology wants that.

SPEAKER_01 2:10

When your lips touch my lips, uh, you'll get closer to me whether you like it or not.

SPEAKER_02 2:15

Yeah, care bonding is essential in the early stages.

SPEAKER_03 2:20

So then she kind of she goes, Yeah, like uh I only um I I uh like I I would only do hand holds with like like people with like romantic uh with like a romantic partner or something like that, you know? Like a boyfriend or not or just someone I'm dating. You know what I mean? Um and then by that I was trying to decipher whether by that she meant we're not there yet, or this is not a date. This is not a date. So then I was like, so then I just you know how I like to dig my heels in if I'm kind of I was like oh okay, well, first of all, if you don't want to hold hands totally valid, that's fine. But is I thought this was uh a date. And she goes, Oh, really? Why did you think that? What? What? Yeah, and I I go, uh well, I I she she goes, when you texted me, you said uh you went, um so you single right now, and uh and then she she goes, I said no. Um I said yes. Uh you know, oh uh and uh you know I was like still looking for Mr. Wright or whatever, what about you? And I was like, I'm just looking for whatever come, you know, whatever girl shows up. Amazing, okay. You know, and then uh and then I go, totally unrelated. What are you doing Sunday?

SPEAKER_01 3:48

So because of that, she thought she believed the totally unrelated, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 3:53

And then I I go, I go, listen, um, you are a very very intelligent person. But you're stupid. No, I go, let's not pretend that that like let's not for you. Let's not pretend. And she goes, No, I really don't know. I really didn't. And then I was like, okay, sure.

SPEAKER_02 4:15

Uh what were you remind me? What were you doing on the date? Like, what was the date?

SPEAKER_03 4:19

Where were you would you meet up, or like what was we got a coffee, went to the park, and then there was some laughs, and then there's a couple times I put like my leg on her. Right, so you're my leg on her hand.

SPEAKER_02 4:30

So okay, so you're this is a clear you're doing all the things.

SPEAKER_03 4:36

It's like I'm saying stuff like um oh, uh like uh your eyes are like we're gorgeous, right? And she goes, Oh, you know you said that the first time. We we we went out, uh we did the time. I was like this girl sucks. I was like, okay, right? And uh and then I and like let me just let me just read that the the back and forth.

SPEAKER_01 4:56

Because I started doubting myself that does suck.

SPEAKER_03 4:59

I mean I started doubting myself. I was like You did that the first time. I was like, was I really unclear? Because I thought I was fairly, you know, so then this is this is what what happens, okay? Um so uh we have you know, she's been responding to like stories that I put up, and then so I just go, hey, so what are you up to nowadays seeing anybody? Oh, we have a little chat. Then I go, what are you up to nowadays, seeing anybody? She goes, still waiting for my prince charming you. I go, waiting for whatever girl comes by. She goes, Wow, what standards you have? Uh-huh. Impossible to please. Then I go, it could be you, and a little heart, the purple heart, whatever the you know, I don't know if the color.

SPEAKER_01 5:38

Oh, yeah. Let her know that you support the troops. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 5:41

Exactly.

SPEAKER_01 5:42

Then I go save somebody.

SPEAKER_03 5:43

Unrelated, what are you up to Sunday night winky face? Winky. She goes, I don't like to be in a category of whatever girl, LOL, right? And she goes, depends on what time, why? And then I respond to her, I don't like to be in a category whatever girl. I go, no, of course, you're super special. And then I say, She goes, Why? I go, because I want to get a drink slash coffee and blah blah blah blah.

SPEAKER_02 6:09

This is a very you uh joke to make. I will say over text your humor can be misconstrued. However, it is still silly to go out and think that this is not a date.

SPEAKER_03 6:24

I still I think it is so ridiculous.

SPEAKER_01 6:26

Yeah, I think that's queer that you're asking her out. There's no that's not there's not a like a read between the lines uh like decoder situation there.

SPEAKER_02 6:36

Yes. So that's why also to tell to even say to me looking still looking for my Prince Charming. It's like to me, that's like somewhat forward.

SPEAKER_01 6:48

It's kind of it is super funny. I'm looking for Prince Charming, and then you say the most unprince charming thing. Yeah, it is so funny.

SPEAKER_02 6:58

You're like, yeah, I'm just waiting for some fish to bite my hook.

SPEAKER_03 7:03

And well, you know me, Steve. If I if I were to say, Well, your Prince Charming's right here, one, two, three, snap, or whatever. Yeah, that there's no one's going for that. 100%.

SPEAKER_01 7:16

No, you did what you should have done.

SPEAKER_03 7:19

Right. You did you, whether that was the best line available, debatable. Sure. Certainly, me saying Prince Charming is right here is so and to is so anti me. And I don't know that because I've been I've tried stuff like that before. You have to be you. Oh, I'm looking for whatever then this guy's here, and they go block you immediately or whatever. I've done that. So I already know that that's I'm not doing that. All that said, that's even besides the point where it is very crystal clear. Where to the point is, I don't believe that she didn't know.

SPEAKER_01 7:48

Yeah, it's so funny if if you got a message going, this person just blocked you from what you just because of what you just said. Wow. Like how you know you know how you can reply to someone's message, even if it's from a couple methods ago, it shows the the blocked. Yeah, connects the thread.

SPEAKER_03 8:09

You have been blocked.

SPEAKER_02 8:11

And it's because of this message right here. This is what did it, just so you know.

SPEAKER_01 8:15

Oh man.

SPEAKER_03 8:17

So uh what what I I don't believe that she did she didn't know. I mean, there you she she's in her 30s. You're you don't get to that age, yeah, and then just wonder why a guy asked you and this said all those things. So after hearing that you're single, yeah. Yeah, I believe that uh just you know, she went out, maybe just had the I thought of like, well, let's see what what it is, and it didn't go, maybe just she didn't wasn't feeling it. And uh I I this I can't fathom why she chose this line uh to go this path instead to instead of just going, hey, I'm not feeling this, yeah, but to go, oh well, this is not a day, this is a friend thing. Obviously, it's a friend thing. How could you think otherwise?

SPEAKER_02 9:01

That's well, that is easier to say, and she's led off the hook a little bit more than just being honest about it's way it's probably way uh harder to be like, yeah, I'm not into this. Yeah. Because then it's like how do you react?

SPEAKER_03 9:15

What if I'm like a violent person after sure?

SPEAKER_02 9:18

Right? Is that the yes, yes. But it's it's still uh it's still silly for her to think that you're gonna. Well, I am. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 9:29

You sure you sure I'll let you take that back before I get violent.

SPEAKER_02 9:33

I get violent when people are confused by my messages.

SPEAKER_03 9:36

It's either my hand on your hand or this fist in your face. And we don't condone any of it. We don't none of it.

SPEAKER_01 9:46

We uh we will donate to the Snow Foundation after uh those bits. Sorry.

SPEAKER_03 9:50

It's a joke that I wouldn't normally make, but I did have to, yes, and you you don't know you didn't set up the platform there.

SPEAKER_01 9:59

I know that when violence got mentioned, there was a boost in as the guy that came in saying, I'm tired. Yeah, you have a little bit more energy.

SPEAKER_03 10:08

Don't pretend that you didn't build part of that stage.

SPEAKER_01 10:12

Okay, but the bridge met in the middle. I'm not putting the full plate on you. I'm just saying Okay, I do have some of the anchors on my side of the river.

SPEAKER_04 10:24

I put the thing on there and you go, whoa, whoa, what the hell?

SPEAKER_02 10:27

Yeah, but the bridge is named after you. Oh, yeah, it's definitely the Peter Wong Bridge.

SPEAKER_03 10:32

Oh, sir. Yes. That I'll take uh I'll take. So, you know, I think um I think if a I think if a guy were to say something like that, you know, I think it's just you you would I don't think a guy can get away with saying something like that.

SPEAKER_01 10:46

A guy saying I didn't think this was this is not a date, or I I don't believe this is a a date is not a move. I agree, it's not a move that we could always do.

SPEAKER_03 10:56

I'm sure you can pull it off, but when I that one time I went out with uh uh He he had all the time in the world before saying the name to James All the time, it really baffled me that that came out.

SPEAKER_04 11:12

Well, the funny thing is the pause. I thought the pause was how what else should I say in the world?

SPEAKER_02 11:18

I can't believe it I have nothing to hide. I mean that a bit is that should I we could read that out? No, no, no.

SPEAKER_01 11:25

Let's let's definitely keep it. We'll keep it in it and you keep going.

SPEAKER_02 11:28

Yeah. Well, I was gonna say, uh Let me just redo that, re-reenact it. We're gonna go.

SPEAKER_03 11:34

Well, it's like the time I went out with uh Is it that long?

SPEAKER_01 11:40

Yes. It really looked like you were gonna sub out some people, but make sure that we knew who you were talking about. Uh-huh. It looked like all well, bleep it.

SPEAKER_02 11:49

I didn't I didn't know that uh I don't know. The pause was not like, should I say it or not? I don't know. I just had the pause was just for I just had a mental dramatic effect.

SPEAKER_01 11:56

Okay, well, go on. I forgot that you did go on a date with somebody uh where you didn't realize it was a date.

SPEAKER_02 12:03

Well, not at first. I didn't realize that it was a date at first, and then obviously I caught on, but it didn't like come up. But at one point she said, she's like, you knew I was uh you knew that this was like a date. And I said yes, um, because I knew it was then, but I that was like she just came out and and said said it.

SPEAKER_05 12:24

It wasn't there was no part of me that would have been like what is that what is that what this is? Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 12:33

You know, but maybe that's different because we we already like knew each other.

SPEAKER_01 12:37

We should know guys, should know better, but I think and also women are are looking to have male friends, but and then sometimes they think they finally have a male friend, and exactly, which is why it's like it's on us to almost be more hesitant.

SPEAKER_03 12:50

We have more authority to say, like, maybe this is hey, maybe this is not we have more room for believing that they're truly looking for a friend. Whereas a guy inviting a girl out, it's almost never, it's almost never like just yeah.

SPEAKER_01 13:07

I went out with with someone and the entire time we were out. That's how I should have said it, huh? Yes, okay uh the entire time we were out, I didn't uh make any advances further than asking them out and us being together on the date, having the date, and me knowing during the date, oh this is a one-time thing. I'm not even gonna try to kiss, I'm not gonna do any of that. This this was this is very platonic. Uh that's the closest to that I've experienced where I'm like, I'm not even gonna tell, like, in wait, I'm getting I'm confused.

SPEAKER_03 13:51

So this was someone you asked out with some hopes of it being more, and then on the date you made the decision to keep uh like a low ceiling of what you'll do.

SPEAKER_01 14:00

I was reading the room, I was reading her where I was like, she she could very well know, but this is this is it. Well and what what was the reason for it's just the I don't know how to describe it other than the vibe, the vibe you just kind of know. Well, not not all of us. I I agree, I agree with that because I've had uh the uh those situations as well, but that one in particular, I was like, oh, I don't even have to get rejected because I can tell from this energy right. See, that's where we're different. I did have fun, I actually think I left that date and had more fun with the rest of my night, like went and hung out with maybe even you guys or something.

SPEAKER_03 14:42

Uh once I find out it's not a date, there's no more fun.

SPEAKER_02 14:50

For anybody, and I make sure of that.

SPEAKER_03 14:52

Do you start counting down? This is where we're different, right? Is that you for you it's obvious there was a vibe that that you could detect. Sure. For that, for me, it's not. I don't know the I don't have that the that I wasn't built with that.

SPEAKER_02 15:08

And I'm getting a little better at it, but nonetheless, wait, just you're not good at at like reading the room.

SPEAKER_03 15:15

Yeah. I disagree. I can read the room if they're like if they're as visibly scared and like uh afraid of something to help to them. That I know. That I have a lot of practice in. What if she was doing that? I've seen that a million times.

SPEAKER_01 15:31

What if she's sitting there like this?

SPEAKER_03 15:35

Then I probably just told a joke. Okay, wow.

SPEAKER_02 15:41

So you think you're not good at reading a room like that.

SPEAKER_03 15:46

Yeah, I've had to. I mean, it's the reason why I openly go.

SPEAKER_02 15:51

Is this fun? Are we having a good time? I probably just told a joke.

SPEAKER_03 16:00

But it is like where like I do sometimes gotta go, well, you know, uh is there a vibe going on here? Or you know, we have fun. But uh but that said, what's the sorry I think generally um I I can never read it and for a while, and I still think this is good practice that I read in a pickup book, which is oh just assume attraction. You know, just assume they're assume they're attracted. Assume they're attracted, which is then I get like, oh, am I going to dangerous territory, right? Like obviously, if they're going like no, no, no, uh, don't touch me, I can't assume that they're attracted. You know, that book needs to be updated.

SPEAKER_01 16:40

Yeah, that's but why don't you do me a favor? One of the first pages, there'll be a year. Uh and if that year doesn't have a two in twice, you gotta get a new book. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 16:54

The guy asked her out via letter, then uh and I don't mean 2002, I mean 2020 something. 1922. So yeah, I I uh although I do think that like as a I think that just means be confident in a way, right? The more you're worried about like, oh, she hates me or whatever, I think the worse you're you're faring.

SPEAKER_01 17:18

I would almost I wouldn't I wouldn't a thousand I wouldn't hundred percent disagree with the assume attraction, but I would almost redirect the that energy to I know I'm fun, I know I'm a good hang, I know I'm a catch. And once I I feel like when you're that, like when you know you're a good time, which you definitely know that about yourself, and that's like the present. Okay, well, I'll say I got to a place where I felt that way by the time I got on my first date with Olivia. And I feel like when you show up and you have fun your way, and then they're doing the same, and then it clicks, that's that's great. But sometimes you're just putting on a show and you're like, well, that crowd wasn't my favorite. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_02 18:06

Yeah, you're not you're not even necessarily assuming attraction, you're just assuming like a good time. Because attraction is like a tricky word because it's it's uh it's just much more like romantic.

SPEAKER_01 18:18

There's like a lustfulness to that word that I've never had a a woman going, we gotta get out of here.

SPEAKER_02 18:24

We gotta it's I gotta get out of here. So I I yeah, I think assuming that you're having assuming she's having a good time is a better way to that's so funny.

SPEAKER_01 18:44

Yeah, I think uh that it was uh let's just go with that woman's really silly.

SPEAKER_03 18:51

Yeah, I would say I would say so.

SPEAKER_02 18:52

I just you know so had okay, how did it end?

SPEAKER_03 18:56

So then uh that we still had to walk uh like eight blocks, you know, I'm heading back to my place and then did you change your pace? What to be faster or slower? Faster? I'm sprinting so we're walking, and then she's asking, like, so are you like sad that it's not a what is what is that?

SPEAKER_01 19:23

What is that?

SPEAKER_02 19:25

At that point, I would I would yes and and like make it to a crazy degree. Like, I'm actually I'm absolutely heartbroken.

SPEAKER_01 19:34

I don't even know I actually have to cancel reservations, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 19:41

I gotta tell the band not to come.

SPEAKER_02 19:43

Are you so are you sad that this is okay? What did you say?

SPEAKER_03 19:49

And I I literally went, what are you talking about? I was like, what? Uh and then uh and I literally go, but this is kind of funny. And she's like, why? Like she's kind of like I I literally I do think she was. I I think she knew, and I think she was a little caught off balance by my directness about the whole thing. Sure. That's not to necessarily say that she's impressed by any means, but I think she maybe expected me to kind of fold and go, Oh, okay, it's not a date, obviously. You're just a cool looking person, you know. So we walk and then um, so then uh we she goes, so I'm this way. I'm like, all right. And then she goes, uh, so what what what do we do now? She's like, uh uh, well, we don't hold hands. She goes, like, are you know, um we gonna hang out again? I go, well, if I'm being honest, uh, if it's uh I would be motive, I'm motivated by uh uh it being a date if we're gonna hang out, but if not, that's tot totally cool, you know? And she goes, Well, that's so sad. I like just hanging around cool people. And I was like, Oh, you know, uh, sometimes I have these big board game meetups, and you should come to one of those, and then and then I was like, You can meet someone too, like it could be really cool, you know? And she's like, No, you don't have to be like nice or anything.

SPEAKER_01 21:28

I was like, I was like, at every at every off ramp that you direct her to as her GPS, she goes, Nope, I want to stay on this highway.

SPEAKER_02 21:40

It's like weird like manipulation, reverse psychology. There's so many things happening.

SPEAKER_01 21:45

Yeah, I think it's a lot of people pleasing.

SPEAKER_02 21:48

Yeah. Well, it's to be like, what? This isn't a date. Are you sad this isn't a date? So when are we gonna hang out again? Like, what the fuck?

SPEAKER_04 21:55

What do you want?

SPEAKER_01 21:56

You should have worn his hat that day.

SPEAKER_04 21:57

What are you come on?

SPEAKER_03 22:01

Yeah. Um that's crazy.

SPEAKER_01 22:04

I think sh there's just uh uh there's some pleasure that she's probably getting in just you know I love both of you so much, and one thing I love about you is the light in your eyes whenever you hit certain words and pleasure is definitely one of them.

SPEAKER_03 22:33

Well, I think there's something there's probably something about that there's there's just a guy willing to get out there and and try to put the effort in being approached is uh uh and being see seeing your people seeing you as attractive and desirable is definitely uh a good thing.

SPEAKER_01 22:52

Yes. Um feels good, I should say.

SPEAKER_03 22:54

Yeah. And uh, you know, uh yeah. Uh but I I I I don't know what she was expecting from that. Um so I I can even begin to really dissect her her her rationale for coming out, knowing how obvious things were. Um and I refuse to believe that it was like what happened?

SPEAKER_02 23:22

What's what's bothering you? It's just the whole situation just yeah, confuses me and and uh upsets me. I don't like any of it.

SPEAKER_03 23:34

Well it brings me back a little to my like incel days a little bit. Really? Oh, just for a bit, I'm like, oh you yeah, like, you know, well what is what is this even what you know it's ridiculous. Um but you know you actually like that this is happening. That's what it says, you actually like that this is happening?

SPEAKER_01 23:57

Change personality. Oh yeah, she uh No, I mean she's a fucking bitch. I mean she's uh, you know, like you're you're a good No, I I had it, you like that this is happening. Oh, that's what you oh you told me that okay, got it.

SPEAKER_03 24:16

Yeah, I had to read it going, I don't know what's happening now.

SPEAKER_02 24:20

I didn't you have to change your personality. Oh man. Man, well this is exciting, you know. This is yeah, is it it's it's exciting, you know, because you're you're you're you're taking uh big swings and you know you're you're learning more about yourself, about other people. It's all more information that can only help you in the future.

SPEAKER_03 24:50

Yeah, yeah. I you know that's true.

SPEAKER_02 24:54

You should see this as a positive.

SPEAKER_03 24:56

Uh yeah. I want I'm trying I want to give him stuff to bounce off, but I just agree. I just agree. It's overall, obviously walking away. There's a part of me that's like, oh, I was hoping that that would end with like a rim job or something, you know, like you know, whatever.

SPEAKER_01 25:21

I just thought this beautiful, this beautiful woman could come back to my place and bury her face.

SPEAKER_02 25:33

And maybe it will next time, you know? Yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_03 25:37

Next time. Um so there was obviously that going, uh, like yeah, you know it never feels good. Yeah, it almost I it's all it was it feels it feels like a waste of time. Yeah, definitely um so yeah, I will say she I forgot how uh beautiful she.

SPEAKER_01 25:56

Did you get you got one that you have to do?

SPEAKER_02 26:08

Please explain.

SPEAKER_01 26:10

He got the he has to take his shirt off for is it one minute? Five. It's a five minute shirt off. He's got a timer for five minutes. All right. Damn it, he's got abs when he's sitting down. I don't like this.

SPEAKER_03 26:26

All right. Why don't we jump into some ad reads now while we're at it then? Yes.

SPEAKER_01 26:38

Is anyone timing? I am, yeah. Okay. Starting now.

SPEAKER_03 26:45

Oh whew.

SPEAKER_01 26:49

All right. Damn it. That's a long paragraph I just missed. Um anyone got a character switch?

SPEAKER_03 26:58

It's time for our Andrees. So uh we don't have a real sponsor yet. Uh, but in preparation. In preparation for the day that we do, uh, I've written uh an ad uh for us to read. This is a page. All right, Patrick. Yeah. So uh let's get started. Oh, by the way. One, two, three, four. Uh Taylor and Steve are reading this for the first time. They don't know what's on the page. Hey everyone! I am delighted to introduce today's sponsor, Blue Apron.

SPEAKER_01 27:27

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SPEAKER_03 29:02

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SPEAKER_01 29:19

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SPEAKER_03 30:15

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SPEAKER_03 30:41

Great job, Steve.

SPEAKER_02 30:42

Yeah, that was a magnificent rap. Peter, do you ever use Nord VPN ever?

SPEAKER_03 30:46

As a matter of fact, I do. There is a porn category that is illegal in this country. And using a VPN to treat my phone as if it's in another country lets me watch it without issue.

SPEAKER_02 30:57

Oh, what kind of category is it?

SPEAKER_03 30:59

Well, you know I can't say that without getting in trouble.

SPEAKER_02 31:02

Oh, yeah, that's true.

SPEAKER_03 31:03

But here's a hint. You know the category barely legal?

SPEAKER_02 31:08

Yeah, that's one of my favorites. The idea that she just turned 18 and is now being used is one of my favorite things in the world. Sometimes I'll put on one of those videos and have a bottle of grapeseed oil nearby. That way, when it's time, I can cover my shaft. That's the slippery. Three pumps and it's game over for me.

SPEAKER_03 31:38

Right. Well, as I was saying, there's barely legal. Then there's the stuff I use the VPN to get to.

SPEAKER_01 31:45

That's really awesome. Well, let's wrap this up with one more freestyle. Hit it, Taylor. This is the end of the ad read. Hope by now you're up to speed. Peter, Taylor, and Steven R. Hope this pod goes very far. This is the best day for me. And now back to our episode of E. There we go. Well done. It has to be five minutes.

SPEAKER_03 32:12

Oh, certainly. God damn it. Certainly.

SPEAKER_01 32:19

You love game over for me.

SPEAKER_03 32:22

That's probably the third time I've used game over for me. Maybe four.

SPEAKER_01 32:28

That is game over for me.

SPEAKER_02 32:32

Oh this is what a landline this is.

SPEAKER_01 32:36

Yeah, that's a big landline.

SPEAKER_03 32:41

Oh, yeah. If you guys, for the viewers, if you read this, you must take off your shirt for five minutes. That's the that's the whole one.

SPEAKER_02 32:48

If you cut any part of that out, I'm just gonna look.

SPEAKER_01 32:51

Yeah. One of us has to edit the ad reading.

SPEAKER_02 32:54

I will comment. I'll be like, please watch the full episode to see why.

SPEAKER_01 32:59

I'm shirtless before you are. Are you sure we're shirtless? Oh, that's true. That's true. But we're not getting any clips from that part. Oh well.

SPEAKER_03 33:08

Um, yeah. I actually wrote that that all that, you know, in that last ad read. Uh I put myself in a bad position just in case one of you had the change character card.

SPEAKER_02 33:19

This is what's great about this card game. I had it and I didn't use it.

SPEAKER_03 33:23

You chose that- You had it!

SPEAKER_01 33:24

I had it, I didn't use it. Oh, do you want to discard? That's why I also do you want to discard that? Oh, can I oh I forgot I could do that.

SPEAKER_03 33:33

Picks up another one, take off your pants for five minutes. For ten. So that's also why I wrote one for you, Taylor, as well, just in case he had a card and he didn't switch. Uh so that he could say a little bit. Uh, anyways. So no matter what, someone's saying something now, which I guess is the great thing about this game, yeah, is it it puts me in uh at risk too.

SPEAKER_01 34:00

I love it. That was great. Everyone was uh I'm actually glad I first of all my abs hurt from reading the ad read. That was really fun. Did you write how long did it take you to write the freestyle?

SPEAKER_03 34:15

Uh it took like 20, 25 minutes. Wow. It was very hard. Yeah. And not, and it's very bad. Right. It is like uh the middle school teacher.

SPEAKER_02 34:25

Well, it's hard to uh uh to to rhyme, but also keep a through line like a narrative going. Where like one line kind of leads to the next and it sounds like you're just having a normal part.

SPEAKER_03 34:37

So when you do it, I'm I am always impressed. Um and obviously you must have spent I mean you must just have the time to do that.

SPEAKER_02 34:46

Uh what do you what you mean when I'm I'm thinking of it just out of nowhere, or when I sat down and wrote?

SPEAKER_03 34:52

I mean just in general. Just to just to do that is just must be a you must have nothing better to do.

SPEAKER_01 34:59

Uh well that's true. That's that's definitely true. You don't think you could do it effortlessly. You think you'd have to always sit down for 20.

SPEAKER_03 35:07

Who, me?

SPEAKER_01 35:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 35:09

Uh yeah. Actually, you know, there is something that happens when you write versus when you freestyle, where you're actually the the fact that you're not writing is actually freeing you up to be less like contrived. Like every single one of those, you could you're thinking of the end line first.

SPEAKER_02 35:26

You're thinking of the end line first.

SPEAKER_03 35:27

Whereas in a freestyle, you're not worried about the you're just worried about getting to the end of a sentence and then thinking about like the next thing. And yeah, and it's a little more fluid when you freestyle.

SPEAKER_02 35:35

It's also harder to it's like I could always I could only ever write for myself. I could never write a rap for somebody else to do because there's a things where it's like, oh, these two words you kind of have to say a little bit faster. Sure. Like this, you're trying to this is one syllable technically. Like there's a lot of things that you just can't get somebody to as we witnessed.

SPEAKER_01 35:57

And uh it was so funny. Right before my girlfriend and I get in a fight, I tell her it's taco night.

SPEAKER_02 36:05

So you thought of Taco Knight, and you're like, how can I so good?

SPEAKER_03 36:12

I'm sure a couple of those came with the first line first, yeah, but the majority of them come with the second line first.

SPEAKER_01 36:18

Nord VPN was difficult to do because of all the syllables.

SPEAKER_03 36:22

Yeah, it's a lot of syllables. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 36:25

Oh god.

SPEAKER_03 36:26

Um, but yeah, I mean I've seen your reps. Yeah, they're you're even when you you know you're writing them, they're they sound really good. And from from obviously knowing your stand-up, you're uh better rapper, is what you're saying. All my all my jokes rhyme with from your stand-up, I it show I can tell you work really hard on writing.

SPEAKER_02 36:48

Uh well, thank you.

SPEAKER_03 36:50

Yeah. Why are you looking at me?

SPEAKER_02 36:54

I for some reason was waiting for a turn. Me too. I think the genuine compliment was the turn. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 37:03

Yeah, he was playing 3D chess on that one. Uh I'm just you know happy to be with your friends and yeah, see them grow as as artists.

SPEAKER_03 37:14

Yes, exactly.

SPEAKER_01 37:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 37:17

And from your standup, you definitely um want to be liked. For sure.

SPEAKER_01 37:30

Let me see if there's a go. Kiss my ass card.

SPEAKER_02 37:37

I uh I went to uh next game, as you as you both know. Yes, my first next game.

SPEAKER_03 37:43

Nonicks. Nonyx. Uh short for Knickerbockers.

SPEAKER_01 37:48

Yes, I knew that. That's right. Is that funny? You made a face at me. You made a face.

SPEAKER_03 37:57

Oh right, yeah, you know, a regular face.

SPEAKER_01 38:00

Yeah. What what is a it's a street in Brooklyn. That's what it's from? I think. I mean, I just know that there is a knickerbocker. Uh it might be an av. Well in Brooklyn. Knickers are a are uh a type of pants.

SPEAKER_03 38:17

That's true. Yes, yeah. Or in England, they that those are panties. So I'll be like, uh well, would you like to take off your knickers?

SPEAKER_02 38:28

Right. Uh it still might be pants. Or no, is it is panties? I think it's panties. Okay.

SPEAKER_03 38:34

Trousers are there are pants.

SPEAKER_02 38:36

There.

SPEAKER_03 38:37

Well, they're the little knickers, won't you?

SPEAKER_02 38:41

They're the New York pantybockers and good basketball team. I went with Jess and she had a work event. So there's like all these like work corporate people there and stuff. And uh they kept having like after the game, they kept doing this running kind of one guy in particular, this uh kind of sassy gay guy. They kept redoing this bit about um how did he do it? How you know it it's it's it's more it was more it was more mannerisms than it was like a clear voice. Sure, you know, and and just also dress. Also, that's not the name that I gave him.

SPEAKER_01 39:27

Wait, what? What?

SPEAKER_02 39:28

As in I didn't come up with uh Sassy Gay guy.

SPEAKER_03 39:34

Oh he that's like name he gave himself?

SPEAKER_02 39:37

No.

SPEAKER_03 39:38

Oh, you're saying okay.

SPEAKER_02 39:39

Alright, so you're saying anyway, this guy kept saying uh like the players? He was talking about He was talking about the the men's bathroom and how like they were always like so gross, and uh about how one time somebody took like a dump in in the urinal and he just kept it kind of kept being this thing anytime somebody would go into the bathroom being like, Oh, was there a dump in the urinal? Like uh and then somebody would come back, no dump in the urinal. Oh boy. And uh and then Jess made some comment about like how men's bathrooms, they're always like you know, so gross, or just it's gross because it's the guy's because it's the guy's bathroom. And she goes, she's like, like if I get in a guy's car and I see uh an empty bottle, I know that there's been piss in that. And then the guy was like, Who are you hanging out with? And I just went, I just raised my hand thinking that would be funny, and no one laughed. And they just kind of like moved on, and uh and and it's because they're those are like work people, right? Yeah, okay.

SPEAKER_03 40:52

Oh, yeah, I can understand.

SPEAKER_02 40:54

We're doing it's like you already went to potty humor, and so I Yes, but you're uh more like for some reason Yeah in that saying you do the thing is very different than saying, hey, look at that.

SPEAKER_01 41:08

And I would have came back from the bathroom, and if they went, was there a is was there a dump in the urinal? I probably would have gone, there is now, which is also one that would bomb royally.

SPEAKER_03 41:20

Well, what upset me was like nobody's would a diarrhea count as multiple dumps? Because that's then that's what I did. Diarrhea, the urinal will be insane to see.

SPEAKER_02 41:30

Nobody saved me in the moment, but afterwards, like when it was silent, and then we were walking away. One guy, like, kind of aside, was like, like, they don't get it. Like, I've paid it. But he didn't laugh. He didn't, he didn't save me in well, because these are his work people, but he Yeah, and then no one talked to me. Uh keep that in your back pocket then.

SPEAKER_03 41:52

I've learned I've my my my buddy uh he he once went to work function and then told someone at the at like this thing, it's like, yeah, so me and my buddies were like, we'll send uh photos of our dicks to each other in the group chat, and he thought that would get a laugh. And the other friends like, oh yeah, okay, that's um interesting that you do that. And then he told us, and like almost everyone in the chat is like, Don't tell anyone, yeah. That's just it's not gonna work. Yeah, people just don't get that.

SPEAKER_02 42:22

Yeah, you need a good amount of con even with the context, honestly. I don't know if it's ever okay.

SPEAKER_01 42:29

Years of friendship and a penis?

SPEAKER_03 42:35

Yeah, I've shown I even after years, I've there's some people I've shown like my asshole to via photo, yeah. And uh that that uh changed the friendship negatively.

SPEAKER_02 42:48

Yeah, you mean uh yeah, again with the with the big swings, you're you you take a lot of swings, you know.

SPEAKER_03 42:54

Yeah, I guess.

SPEAKER_01 42:55

Do you think that also helps you know who you can be close with, though?

SPEAKER_03 43:01

Yes, it feels it's a filtering mechanism, not on purpose, but it does happen to filter people.

SPEAKER_01 43:07

Yeah, yeah. I guess if they're still here, yeah, they they're not going anywhere.

SPEAKER_03 43:12

Yeah, and it's kind of why that is the way I am on dates with women, or I'll make it like a joke. You go, look at this big shit. She's like, uh this isn't a date. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 43:23

Does this look weird? And I don't want you to hold my hand.

SPEAKER_02 43:28

Well, is there something that you get from the other person that that gives you the signal of like, all right, I'm gonna throw it out there and see how it's received? Because there might be somebody who you could be friends with, but you show them too early, and then it's weird.

SPEAKER_01 43:41

The amount of people that I have witnessed him show the egg video to is I think more than five. Link in the show notes.

SPEAKER_03 43:55

Uh so what Steven's referring to is there's a video of me um My friends bet that I couldn't crack an egg with my asshole. Well, not my not my asshole, but my cheeks. My cheeks. And so there's a two and a half minute video of me trying. And it's very graphic.

SPEAKER_01 44:12

You see my of the video of the guy couldn't do it with his bicep. Well, he could do it. He could do it. And I thought it was a stupid video.

SPEAKER_03 44:19

Right. I couldn't tell if it was satire or it was just they're saying it's hard. And then that I go, I bet I could do it with my ass. They go, we bet you five dollars each that you can't. And you would have got so little money.

SPEAKER_01 44:30

40 bucks, 20 bucks.

SPEAKER_03 44:32

Uh 30 something. Which um they they were nice enough to pay me anyways, even though I couldn't get crack it.

SPEAKER_01 44:38

And why?

SPEAKER_03 44:39

Huh? What because they saw the effort. Oh, they could hear it too, because I'm breathing very hard. I almost passed out.

SPEAKER_02 44:46

Did you did the egg? Did you go like this or like this? Which way did you try to crack it? Like this.

SPEAKER_03 44:53

Okay, so you tried to Which I think is that would make the most sense, right?

SPEAKER_02 44:57

None of it makes sense.

SPEAKER_01 45:01

Wait a minute, you did it like this? You gotta do it like this. There's your problem right there.

SPEAKER_03 45:08

I guess another way is like this.

SPEAKER_02 45:10

Like like this. Right, like directly in.

SPEAKER_01 45:13

Um that's how they come out. So I think that'd be the most sturdy.

SPEAKER_03 45:18

Oh, yeah, that's a good point. Yeah. That's something I probably should have thought about too, is that they do come out at a pretty tight area.

SPEAKER_02 45:26

Uh yeah, yeah, that's true.

SPEAKER_01 45:30

Right? I I've seen women see this video. Yep. And they've all you you are I will say, you're a good warnings. Your warnings are very good about it.

SPEAKER_03 45:42

Yeah. What do you remember me saying?

SPEAKER_01 45:46

You do see my uh nuts in this video. Asshole. And my asshole. See my ass. And my dick. Uh and uh imagine I warn an egg. Imagine I warn someone about two of those three, and then they're offended by the third. And you always change what one you leave out. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 46:11

And the best part is you don't spoil what happens in the video. You don't spoil whether or not you get it. Yeah, so they watch the two and a half minutes. Because that leaves the curiosity of, like, well, I gotta know what happens.

SPEAKER_03 46:23

That's how you get them. Yeah, that's true. Also, side note, I have a bowl under just in case I do. I really thought I was gonna get it, and I could catch the yolk.

SPEAKER_01 46:33

I'm surprised you didn't have a frying band understanding.

SPEAKER_03 46:35

That would have been maybe into a blender, and then you can have the like a breakfast.

SPEAKER_02 46:41

Yeah, that that's that's half of a jackass sketch that you just did. This is the egg crack and it cracks into like steam of stuff.

SPEAKER_03 46:52

Now, if I were to guess, looking at you, you've seen like someone that could do it. I don't know what's happening. I don't think he could do it.

SPEAKER_02 46:58

Now, what's happening here?

SPEAKER_01 47:00

I do not think he could do it.

SPEAKER_02 47:02

Is they're tapping into my competitive nature and thinking that because they say I can't do it, I'm gonna leave here.

SPEAKER_03 47:10

I mean, look. I don't know, you're a strong guy, but uh I don't know. I think you you have I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 47:16

All the three of us, I think I could do it, but I don't think he could do it.

SPEAKER_02 47:20

It's it's tough because well, it's tough because like when you think about like clenching your your glutes, you're just tightening the muscles. It's not necessarily you're not squeezing them together necessarily. Like that's a whole other you know, muscle. I don't even know how you would uh train that. Right, sure, sure. Also, I I if I were to like think I'm like, oh, I have to do this, I would I would get very nerdy about it, and I would probably get uh I'd probably get like a a bodega egg, like a really not like a farm-raised organic, because they have like a hard shell. Like a yeah, the the brown eggs you wouldn't get. I would not, no, I would never.

SPEAKER_03 48:01

It'll be brown after. Yeah. Yes, but there's sometimes there are eggs that are so fragile that just picking them up you can already feel like that's what you want. I mean, yeah, that's true. I could have oh, that'd be brilliant if I did that. You should be so smart.

SPEAKER_02 48:14

You get like a yeah, I would have used a Cadbury. That's a chocolate one. You can't see in the video, but like you you soft boil it for like seven minutes.

SPEAKER_04 48:28

That doesn't help.

SPEAKER_02 48:29

That makes it worse. No, no, that would that would because it softens it up.

SPEAKER_03 48:34

Right? I don't know about that. Well, because you eggs benedict. And plus, if they see that it's cracking and nothing's leaking out, but they see just nice soft boiled.

SPEAKER_02 48:45

Ah, bullshit. Yeah, I think they'd be upset at me.

SPEAKER_03 48:48

I only got four, okay? These passive aggressive compliments, and I've been trying to do the entire show. That's why I was saying stuff like what ones can you? So my this is uh your car give five passive aggressive compliments.

SPEAKER_01 49:01

Oh mine was uh you could tell that I'm trying to be like yes, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 49:06

You're trying to be like I said the thing about your writing and uh Oh, so it wasn't genuine.

SPEAKER_02 49:12

I was trying to say it was like I knew it wouldn't have come out of nowhere.

SPEAKER_01 49:17

It makes so much sense now. It didn't, it was out of nowhere.

SPEAKER_03 49:22

And I said this thing about uh oh, you have all this, you must have all this time in your on your hands to do the style.

SPEAKER_04 49:29

And you really thought about that one.

SPEAKER_02 49:31

Yeah, I'm like, I don't know what's I didn't think a card was being played. That's really well done.

SPEAKER_03 49:38

That was hard, uh, but I did want to be true to it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 49:42

That's good. Well, we're uh we're close to wrapping up here.

SPEAKER_03 49:48

Uh well good. Well, what do you got? We're about to float on to another one?

SPEAKER_01 49:55

I I was trying to see if there was one that we haven't done yet. Well, we were just what were we just talking about? Well, we can do that. This whole thing has been a crazy trick. Impression. Uh do you combo as celebrity of dealers' choice. Uh so all three of us will do different uh personalities. Why don't you mean uh impression like impressions? Yeah, like a uh celebrity. Uh okay. You'll do walking. Okay. You do real bad. I gotta do someone I haven't seen you do. How about he does Gilbert Godfrey? Yeah. And then who do I do? You can pick who I do. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 50:46

Um yesterday uh I had a date. I thought, but it wasn't.

SPEAKER_01 51:17

No. I tried to start a podcast with my friends thinking that I could share it as a clean comedian.

SPEAKER_03 51:32

You're starting to sound like Stephen Hawking.

SPEAKER_00 51:37

That guy's a frickin' reta. I'm forgotten.

SPEAKER_04 51:47

Well then it's all okay for the audience.

SPEAKER_00 51:56

I look really bad on this episode.

SPEAKER_04 52:00

My God, it's really good. I look like a creep.

SPEAKER_01 52:04

That I don't know how to do it.

SPEAKER_04 52:13

Now you're Gilbert Godfrey.

SPEAKER_02 52:17

And I'm Morgan Freeman.

SPEAKER_01 52:18

Wow, what the hell? And I'm Morgan Freeman. Oh, I've tapped into it.

SPEAKER_02 52:27

Nope, that was Sean Connery.

SPEAKER_03 52:31

Yeah, I'm Morgan Freeman. Sean Connery. Uh oh man, impressions are great. Yeah. I had uh when you do Gilbert F. Guffy, you really sound like a like a basket case.

SPEAKER_01 52:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 52:52

I had uh I first no one's catching me on these. I might as well. Did you realize what I was doing? Oh, I realized use lyrics of songs to answer people until you're caught. How long have you been doing it? Like five minutes. I did creep, I did basket case, I did uh Crazy Train.

SPEAKER_01 53:14

Oh my god, it just sounds like something you would do just song titles, not lyrics.

SPEAKER_03 53:20

Oh, you're right. Well, technically that's yeah, I guess I guess that's true. But it's funny that he's that's how weird I am. Yeah. It sounds like he literally, uh yeah, yeah. I went back to his conversation. Yeah, it's something you would do. Maybe a real basket case. Uh yeah. That's right.

SPEAKER_01 53:42

That's right. Crazy train. I I was like, oh, he's just being like silly.

SPEAKER_03 53:49

I made that one today. Yeah, I was literally like, this whole pod has been a crazy trade. Yeah. No one said anything.

SPEAKER_01 54:00

Um, I went to uh wait, do it. Deal the card. Deal it.

SPEAKER_03 54:16

Freestyle about whatever we were talking just talking about for 45 seconds. It's him, right? No, it's to you. It was to you.

SPEAKER_02 54:25

Um you don't hand it to me from him. You're right, you're right. I didn't say, can you pass this? Okay.

SPEAKER_03 54:33

Uh talking like a different person. Every long I go, this rap is gonna worsen. I am here with my friends. This is going to be the end of my life pretty damn soon. I'm walking out flying to the moon. Every day it hurts a little more. I wish I fucked that whore yesterday, but on a date. Now my heart is filled with hate. Really want to choke her. Put her in a ditch, fuck that bitch. Maybe 30 seconds. Oh my god. By the way, this is that's just a rap.

SPEAKER_02 55:14

I just said do the rap. You got 10 more seconds.

SPEAKER_03 55:17

Uh now uh another card. I has been really hard this whole episode. I'm gonna Okay, okay. Oh, I could have played reverse. That would have been great. I thought that sounded pretty good for for given for what it was. You know?

SPEAKER_02 55:40

I was debating between going a minute and 45 seconds, even is a long time.

SPEAKER_03 55:44

45 seconds is a long time. For us, yes, especially. That don't do this. Yeah. I say it sounded pretty decent. It's not bad.

SPEAKER_01 55:53

It was pretty yeah, it was good. Yeah, I like that you the end of your sentence started the next one.

SPEAKER_03 55:58

Oh, yeah. You know.

SPEAKER_01 56:00

Is that a thing that normally Yeah. Oh, okay. I don't really care for that stuff.

SPEAKER_03 56:05

Uh um, well, if with that said, we just hit our time. I know you were telling a story.

SPEAKER_01 56:14

Oh, it's it was uh filler.

SPEAKER_03 56:18

Is that one of the cards? Yeah. That'd be great. We write a card that says uh tell a bullshit nonsense story, and then you have it and you go, Oh, thank god. Now I can just a story just doesn't hit. I go, look.

SPEAKER_01 56:31

I was just doing a card. I'm making that card. I was just doing this card. I'm just doing this card. I'm I'm making that card today. All right.

SPEAKER_04 56:40

Well, then for right this crazy trick.