Ep. 023—Your Mother Is Beautiful

The boys are back! They talk about having conflict, crying, Peters stay at Steves, and much more! Enjoy.

@stevenrogerscomedy

@peterwongcomedy

@taylercomedy

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:01

Not my tempo.

SPEAKER_01 0:04

Do you think what is work We're live? We're live. Okay.

SPEAKER_03 0:08

Alright. Uh welcome to the show. Let me tell you what I just saw. I was walking on the way here, and there's a guy on the phone, uh, very angry. He's walking down the block. And he's like, um I told you to fucking stay there, you fucking idiot. You're so fucking stupid. Shut up to the top of his lungs.

SPEAKER_02 0:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 0:33

Stupid fucking I swear to God. And then uh he's doing it for like two minutes. And then um he's still screaming, and then he walks across the street uh and gets in his car. And I thought that was interesting that the whole time he had a place to do that in private. To do it. And he did it so publicly, and then went inside the car. And then was like, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to I'm really sorry, but he just brought it down when he got it be funny, but he really kept going because then I could see him from the outside. I could hear uh some, you know how it's muted screaming? Yeah. And then boom, boom. And I didn't have to look at him, but I could tell he's punching probably the roof. What do you think was gone?

SPEAKER_00 1:17

What do you think the context was? What do you think the scenario was?

SPEAKER_01 1:21

It'd be funny if you heard on the other end of the phone, uh, it goes, would you like to re-record this voicemail?

SPEAKER_03 1:28

I gotta do it again. You fucking asshole. You are a piece of shit. I'm going to fucking kill you. Um if I were to guess, if I were to just go on a limb, I think he's probably talking to his brother. Maybe missed a payment. Uh something.

SPEAKER_01 1:54

Well, he had to stay someone has to stay somewhere.

SPEAKER_03 1:57

Someone yeah, someone had to be somewhere. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 2:00

Okay, so maybe it was someone waiting for um a delivery. And what would that scene look like? Uh we're not doing that.

SPEAKER_03 2:10

We're not doing that yet. Uh look, I've I've c I've I've had calls where I've never been in a call so uh amped up that I forget where I am.

SPEAKER_00 2:24

I've never s screamed like that.

SPEAKER_03 2:27

Yeah. Uh I always care about what people perceive me as more than letting my emotion out then and there.

SPEAKER_00 2:39

Yeah. I get that. I I I'm also I have so the I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_01 2:46

Your view to the public is higher than the issue. Whatever current issue. Always.

SPEAKER_03 2:52

Or at least I've never received a thing that made me that made me go I owe it.

SPEAKER_00 2:59

Yeah, you're so passionate you forget where you Yes, what you just want to you're that's the number one thing as opposed to the the issue. I'm like the if it's uh especially in a in person, that's why a lot of people like do like a they have a tough conversation at like a restaurant or something. Yeah. Uh huh. There's no way I could do that. Wait, what do you mean? Like I I'm gonna break up with somebody and we're in a public place or something, so I know they can't lose their shit. And then it sometimes uh they're wrong. I still do.

SPEAKER_03 3:28

So you do publ are you you do breakups in a public thing?

SPEAKER_00 3:31

I'm not saying that's my move. I'm saying that some people do that. I don't break up a lot.

SPEAKER_01 3:35

But how often the waiter comes over when I'm in the middle of a story and it's not conflict? I wouldn't want that happening when I'm trying to break up with someone. Yeah. Is like the waiter coming over just in the middle of it asking if we want more bread.

SPEAKER_03 3:52

Is like I mean one time we were eating together and uh we were talking, and I started I was crying because I was talking about how hard stuff was.

SPEAKER_01 4:05

I forgot about that.

SPEAKER_03 4:06

And we're just sitting across, and I'm like weeping. Like I'm really it's really coming down.

SPEAKER_01 4:12

This is before yeah, this is a long time ago.

SPEAKER_00 4:14

I was gonna say, I'm like, what could this be? It was about I've heard you talk about close family deaths with an ease that is unsettling.

SPEAKER_03 4:24

With a smile and and an erection.

SPEAKER_00 4:28

Alright, so you're crying at the t yeah, so we're at the table.

SPEAKER_03 4:31

This was uh we're eating. He starts telling me about how I should uh pursue going for a late night, you know, whatever cop um.

SPEAKER_01 4:41

I was yeah, I was telling him how much I believed in him, basically.

SPEAKER_03 4:45

Yeah, and then I started talking about how I don't believe in me and how hard this all is. And then it just caught up. Sometimes it just cat it hits you. You didn't expect you know, I started the sentence and expect to be emotional. In emotion land. Yeah. And then by the end of the sentence, I was like, well Here we are. Here we are. And I just burst out laughing. I don't even remember his the look on his face, but I imagine it caught him by surprise.

SPEAKER_01 5:11

My face must have looked like when the first time someone ever made a baking soda volcano. Because I was like, what's what's happening? What's happening? What's happening? Oh, get some challenge.

SPEAKER_02 5:28

I didn't know if I put this into that, that would.

SPEAKER_03 5:33

And I was all worried about uh, oh god, if the waiter comes, it's gonna look like we're breaking up.

SPEAKER_01 5:39

Yeah, he did. And he said that while tears are streaming. That's so funny. Did a waiter come? No. I don't remember that. I bet a waiter saw from a distance.

SPEAKER_03 5:54

You know.

SPEAKER_01 5:55

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 5:56

Yeah. So uh that's you know, but he and and I just remember who joined us. Oh yeah. No, that was not the same day. That's a different day.

SPEAKER_00 6:08

It was a different day?

SPEAKER_03 6:09

Yeah, okay.

SPEAKER_00 6:10

That's a different day. Were you crying on that day too?

SPEAKER_03 6:12

No, it was another day where my my ex joined me. That day, my grandfather just passed. And I didn't cry. Yeah, not at all.

SPEAKER_00 6:19

Okay, so yeah, that makes sense. That's that is a story, I believe.

SPEAKER_01 6:23

And under the table I heard how.

SPEAKER_03 6:31

Um yeah, so uh anyways, you know, I've been on phone calls where I've yelled in the in in the house, you know, like sometimes I've had phone calls with my parents where that's they can push my buttons or they'll say, you know, you're fucking stupid, useless, blah blah blah, and then I'm screaming back at them and just yelling into the thing, you know. And then sometimes throwing the phone, whatever. But outside, I I just there I just can't do it. Yeah. I just can't do it. It's just too much like what will this everyone will think I'm like that guy out there while he was screaming, every head turned right to that person. Some people smiling, yeah, like because they get to see this crazy thing. You know, one lady was around the corner and turned around the brick. A brick corner, to like she's like, I can't keep going. Even the gargoyle was like a squirrel with an acorn. Calm down, buddy.

SPEAKER_00 7:40

Man, but isn't there it's it's kind of nice though that because of the city, there's a there's an anonymity where it's like, even though everybody sees you, nobody knows you. Like nobody is gonna be like, today I saw you know Peter. There's gonna be like uh it's not even gonna register, most likely. Oh right.

SPEAKER_03 7:57

It's a thing that just happens.

SPEAKER_00 7:59

Yeah, you know I don't know if that brings me comfort or it just makes me feel more alone here.

SPEAKER_03 8:07

Yeah, that if you're having the worst day of your life, no one was gonna no one cares.

SPEAKER_00 8:11

Oh, I know that.

SPEAKER_03 8:12

Yeah, no one you will no one will come to your aid.

SPEAKER_01 8:15

Yeah, you on those days, uh, you know, just feel free to put your phone in another room. Don't reach out to anybody. Yeah. They don't want to hear from you. Only when you're going through good things, two people. Not just hanging up on a friend that's calling me. Probably needs something.

SPEAKER_03 8:37

Have you ever threatened somebody on the phone? Ever called and be like, or if you know at the end of something, you're like, if I see you or something, I'm gonna do something.

SPEAKER_01 8:46

No, the the closest I get is when customer services uh they can't help me. Uh and I've been polite the entire conversation. Yeah. But I know I'm not gonna get the results I want. I hang up without saying uh goodbye. I thought you were about to say like you start yelling, and I'm like, I don't believe this.

SPEAKER_00 9:04

No.

SPEAKER_01 9:04

I I'll do a satisfying placement of the hangup.

SPEAKER_03 9:08

How do you think they're reacting when you do that?

SPEAKER_01 9:12

Uh I don't think the thousandth time they've been hung up on. I'm the guy, okay?

SPEAKER_03 9:18

And you go, alright, and this is at the end of it. I'm sorry, but it looks I don't think we're gonna be able to quick. What the fuck? What happened? You just the customer I was talking to hung up on me.

SPEAKER_00 9:35

He hung up on you?

SPEAKER_03 9:36

Yeah, didn't say goodbye or anything. Calling back. Hello. Hey. Uh yeah. You remember me?

SPEAKER_01 9:52

Who is this?

SPEAKER_03 9:53

Uh the guy that we were just talking to from ATT.

SPEAKER_00 9:56

Tell him Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Say, oh, so your phone is working.

SPEAKER_03 9:59

Oh, so your phone, yeah, we must have gotten disconnected, huh?

SPEAKER_01 10:03

Uh no, no. Uh you said you couldn't help me.

SPEAKER_03 10:07

Okay. So that means I'm not a person anymore, right?

SPEAKER_01 10:14

No, you're definitely a person. Uh, but I felt like uh you know, it you have a script that's pretty long at the end, and uh I just didn't want to hear it. Click.

SPEAKER_03 10:32

Hello, this is uh Sean from ATT. How can I help you today?

SPEAKER_01 10:37

Hey, I'd like to talk to whoever I don't forget his name, but he was helping me earlier.

SPEAKER_03 10:42

Oh, yes, Mr. Rogers.

SPEAKER_01 10:44

Oh, it's you.

SPEAKER_03 10:45

Yeah, that was me.

SPEAKER_01 10:46

Yeah, uh oh, okay, so your service is working.

SPEAKER_03 10:49

Uh yeah, I'm ATT.

SPEAKER_01 10:54

My service is always working. Yeah, well, all right.

SPEAKER_03 10:56

Uh well you uh Yeah Yeah, you can't get your words together, can you, asshole? Hold on, my manager's coming.

SPEAKER_00 11:08

Hello, sir.

SPEAKER_01 11:10

Hello.

SPEAKER_00 11:10

Does there seem to be a problem with your service?

SPEAKER_01 11:13

Uh yeah, and he's standing right next to you.

SPEAKER_00 11:15

Oh, is he asshole? Oh, is he? Click.

SPEAKER_03 11:23

That's right. ATT stands by showed him one of us, you messed with all of us.

SPEAKER_01 11:34

Uh agitated triggered troops. ATT? Yeah, yeah. I tried to written as fast as I could.

SPEAKER_03 11:41

For me, it's uh ass titties and titties.

SPEAKER_01 11:52

Peter, give us your top three.

SPEAKER_00 12:01

Guess what T Mobile is. T D Mobile.

SPEAKER_01 12:12

Oh, I have an idea.

SPEAKER_03 12:14

Uh well, let's spin the wheel. It's the wheel song. It's the wheel song.

SPEAKER_05 12:24

It's the wheel song.

SPEAKER_03 12:26

This is dead in the middle. Uh-oh.

SPEAKER_01 12:28

It is dead in the middle. I guess. What do we got?

SPEAKER_03 12:30

It is closer to read screen. Oh no, no. It is in the middle. It is in the middle.

SPEAKER_01 12:35

Dead middle?

SPEAKER_03 12:36

You gotta spin again. It was really close. Reading your script.

SPEAKER_00 12:42

Uh-oh.

SPEAKER_03 12:43

And we're gonna get oh what is that now? Dead middle. No, I'll say it says conflict. Conflict. Wait, wait, you're painting two. No, this is conflict. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 12:54

Conflict. So conflict. No, I no, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no.

SPEAKER_04 13:04

What do you think this is?

SPEAKER_01 13:05

I don't like it. I think I know what it is.

SPEAKER_00 13:09

Well, it's that's that's the journey we're on now.

SPEAKER_01 13:11

Yeah. What do you think it is?

SPEAKER_03 13:13

Before I get going.

SPEAKER_01 13:14

We each have to take a thing that uh a conflict that we haven't uh addressed with each other or something. It's something that makes me squirm. There's no way, there's no way it's uh there's no other way. There's no other thing it could be. Don't give him ideas.

SPEAKER_03 13:33

Well, uh actually, this uh we with this, the idea of this is uh uh one of us brings a conflict that we haven't addressed to another person. And that's it. That's all you gotta do. All right. And we don't have to address it afterwards. It's just bring it up and then we move on. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 13:51

A conflict that you have with that person?

SPEAKER_03 13:54

Yeah. Or something that's you know been nagging at you, something that happened that uh you know, you wish you could have talked about.

SPEAKER_00 14:02

With someone in this room.

SPEAKER_03 14:03

With someone in this room.

SPEAKER_00 14:05

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 14:07

You know? But we're not all gonna go.

SPEAKER_00 14:12

I don't know if I have anything right now.

SPEAKER_01 14:17

I'm gonna actually try to provide, but nothing comes straight to mind. Yeah, you can go. Yeah, you can go. What? Come on. I don't have anything. Go ahead. I really don't have anything. I know. I think we're just I guess for sure. I really don't have anything because uh you two have in the past have uh encouraged me, especially you, encouraged me to express when things are on my mind.

SPEAKER_03 14:48

So I'm actually let's go for a recent one. Let's resurface one. Uh uh Yeah, if you guys have one. I got to uh look after your cats recently.

SPEAKER_00 14:59

That was gonna be mine. I don't like how when you stayed at his place.

SPEAKER_03 15:05

Oh, you know what? LB, one person gets to pick a conflict that you think is pressing between the better.

SPEAKER_01 15:13

Uh that way I don't have a choice.

SPEAKER_03 15:16

Yeah, because when you get to pick, you just knock it out.

SPEAKER_01 15:22

Uh yeah, you stayed at my place. Yeah. Uh because uh I asked you to watch my cats. Correct. And uh pay I pay both of you when I can, which is I would say majority of the time. Uh it's the worst uh side hustle ever because you don't know if you're making money or not.

SPEAKER_03 15:47

Yeah, there have been times where you said uh I'm gonna pay you for this one, and then you don't. And then I don't feel like bringing it up because it's because I forgot.

SPEAKER_00 15:58

I thought you were gonna say, like, you live your life as if you have money about to come in, and then it doesn't. I'm buying a big handle at tequila. Here's rent.

SPEAKER_01 16:14

Well, I I paid more this time, uh, because I was going to England for a week.

SPEAKER_03 16:20

Yes, which means you would get a premium, uh, more premium service. So you uh which normally in the world that would be how it works. You pay, and then the house is taken care of even more than usual.

SPEAKER_01 16:32

Yeah, that that was not said on my behalf, so I wasn't expecting that. Right. Uh certainly not worse. Certainly not worse. So I came home and immediately the place stunk.

SPEAKER_03 16:47

Like what did it smell like? Because I had I had I actually was the first time I cleaned up the litter.

SPEAKER_00 16:54

It that was the first time in the week that you had been there that you cleaned it up? No, I never I never asked you guys to do that. Right, it's a well for the most part it's a self-cleaning, like unless the drawer is completely full.

SPEAKER_03 17:07

It is, I guess, self-clean. I that was the first time I smelt. Like I I was uh staying over and I was like, oh, it stinks. Like the cat used it, and I was like, Yeah, oh boy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I was like, let me just at least pack this up.

SPEAKER_01 17:23

Definitely appreciate that you did that.

SPEAKER_03 17:25

Yeah, because I was also outside company over, and it's yeah, really smelt like it, like it. Anyways, go ahead.

SPEAKER_01 17:31

Yeah, trust me, company over will influence a lot. Uh, thus me bringing it to your attention uh because my company noticed that your company was over. And my company did not like doing some of the things your company did.

SPEAKER_03 17:57

So let's clarify because okay because I had left the house uh I had cooked, you know. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 18:05

Here's my stance when I'm away. If truly, you guys know these two cats mean so much to me. You can literally I go have a date over, you can have a date over, you can eat anything in there, watch whatever. I don't care.

SPEAKER_03 18:21

Watch whatever, watch whatever. Because you know, normally the rules are watch channel six.

SPEAKER_01 18:28

And that's it.

SPEAKER_00 18:29

You know what? You've been good. You could go with Paramount. You can do it. You know what?

SPEAKER_01 18:33

I'm gone two weeks. Six and nine. Well, we we did six and nine for sure. So uh place stinks. Yeah, there's dishes in the sink, uh, and it smelled a mix of oh god. No, no, okay, go ahead. I don't know where you guys went, to be honest.

SPEAKER_00 18:55

Just a mix of is already bad. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 18:58

It wasn't just that you cooked. Uh-huh. And it might have been litter, and it might have been some. There, I think there was a third thing. Look at the third two. I don't know what it is. It wasn't three different types of shit. That's also possible. Uh with my cat.

SPEAKER_03 19:14

Hey, that's Peter's shit in the litter box.

SPEAKER_01 19:17

Why is it why does it have a name tag on it?

SPEAKER_00 19:20

You pooped in the one that has the hole at the top. You thought you were so drunk, you thought that was the toilet. You just shit in the toilet. It's right next to the toilet.

SPEAKER_03 19:28

This litter stinks.

SPEAKER_01 19:32

Uh the cats are like, we bury ours. I don't know why we did it on the top.

SPEAKER_03 19:36

What is he doing?

SPEAKER_01 19:38

Uh the there's your water bottles uh were around. Uh the table that we store at my place was fully out. My desk pushed against the wall, water bottles next to that, my charger taken out, and a different charger from my PlayStation plugged into the charger. Yeah. Uh that litter box. And this is not you, but that litter box was also paused and full of poop.

SPEAKER_03 20:08

That's what happened, I guess. I guess it stopped doing the washing machine thing.

SPEAKER_01 20:12

Yeah, yeah. Well, because when it gets full, it will stop going around.

SPEAKER_03 20:16

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_01 20:17

So then, and you know, and I clean all that, do all that stuff. That's I I was like, I will have to talk to him about this, but I wasn't upset with with you. I was like, he Why was the desk pushed? So I I have a theory. Let's hear it.

SPEAKER_03 20:31

But I want to hear I want to hear your theory first.

SPEAKER_01 20:33

I think it was a blood on the clock tower situation in there.

SPEAKER_03 20:37

No, your house cannot make Blood on the Clock Tower happen. Uh, but I had a little board game that I wanted to play. Okay, that wasn't far. Doesn't Blood on the Clock Tower is a game.

SPEAKER_00 20:48

Wait, so I'm trying to I'm trying to p you push the desk up against the wall.

SPEAKER_03 20:53

And then opened up the folding table to have a big flat surface to yes, so that's why I did that. I forgot to I had cleaned up some stuff. Believe it or not, I had cleaned for an hour. And there was still a lot of stuff that I consciously was like, it was just two of my four rooms.

SPEAKER_01 21:18

Okay. Uh then I go into the bedroom, and the same sheets are on the bed. You don't know that. The same sheets that when I left. Okay. Because I mentally made a note because I knew you were bringing uh company.

SPEAKER_03 21:36

Yeah, yeah, that's that's that's but that's bad.

SPEAKER_01 21:38

So I go, well, I'm taking the first thing I did was the sheets, and uh and then I do all that, I clean up, and then Olivia, my girlfriend, comes over, and she uh and I uh are I think gonna watch something in my room, and I take a step in on my Side of the bed and I notice a condom wrapper. And uh I go and I'm like, did I open a is this like an old one for uh like what is this? And I'm like, I don't know that uh even brand. And I'm like, that's and then so I throw that away. Olivia sees that, but knows, trusts me, knows it's that.

SPEAKER_03 22:26

Yeah, which could have been a dicey situation other than that.

SPEAKER_01 22:28

If I had a less understanding girlfriend who also probably doesn't understand why I let my friends do that in my own bedroom.

SPEAKER_00 22:36

No, that's not mine, babe. Peter fucked some random person in my bed and didn't change the shapes of sheets. She looks over at my cats.

SPEAKER_01 22:46

You love them that much.

SPEAKER_03 22:48

No, but it's it was funny because as I I remember uh telling him as he's explaining it to uh his girlfriend, it sounds like the worst lie you could say. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 23:00

And I was worried, I go, what if I called you and you don't remember?

SPEAKER_03 23:05

I go, what? I wasn't I haven't even been by your house in years. And oh, that's right.

SPEAKER_01 23:15

And I left a condom on the and uh and then Olivia goes, What are my slippers doing over here? And she goes, I think she wore my slippers.

SPEAKER_00 23:31

Did she?

SPEAKER_03 23:33

I don't uh I didn't see with my own eyes, but they're clearly for girls, those slippers. Yeah, it also wouldn't surprise me if that had happened. Yeah. Um so it's possible. Yeah. Uh I will take take it as yes. Yeah. And I thought, you know, if I had any control over it, I would not have let that.

SPEAKER_01 23:56

Right. You wouldn't you wouldn't say, hey, can you put your toes where my buddy's girlfriend's toes have been? No way you'd say that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 24:10

Can you put the slippers on and then get into bed with the slippers on?

SPEAKER_01 24:19

Yeah. Right. And then so I'll do all the that's all taken care of. And I I know I'm gonna talk to him when I see him next, but I'm not really upset with you. I it's just a thing where I'm like, I do have to address it.

SPEAKER_04 24:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 24:37

But I wasn't too upset. And then uh, but I couldn't wait. So I just texted him and I went, hey, what kind of what brand of condoms do you use? You said what's your favorite? Oh, what's your favorite? And then I just get ha ha wait, so you knew what he was talking about.

SPEAKER_03 24:56

I knew like I knew I used con I I know what that question is out of context. I didn't know the rapper was there, but once he asked that Did you do like when you were leaving the house, like a yep.

SPEAKER_01 25:09

And then did you do it like this? Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 25:19

I was like, oh, this place is not on fire.

SPEAKER_00 25:23

Oh, the ceiling looks pretty good. Yeah, just made sure the gas was off and then left. Thank you.

SPEAKER_03 25:28

Thank you for doing but like the last which by the way, the I I looked at your over your house l l this past week. Which was great. It looked great.

SPEAKER_01 25:38

It didn't smell and crazy. I it looked great.

SPEAKER_03 25:41

I didn't clean the litter at all this time. So I don't know what the difference was.

SPEAKER_01 25:44

When I came into my home, I've spent saving this for this, uh, and I'm being sincere. When I came home, I could tell that you had cleaned up uh-huh and it it was nice, it felt good. So I appreciate that you did that. Even if it you think it was nothing, I noticed.

SPEAKER_03 26:05

Well, yeah, but yeah, I you know, I I I left it messier than I needed to, you know. I know I was cooking when we were there, and there were some onions that got on the floor, you know. I cleaned up 70% of it, you know, not on purpose, but I'm like, this is as much as I can.

SPEAKER_00 26:22

It's it's funny to like leave knowing what you did wrong, but not fixing it when you're there. It's like you didn't know when you were there, and then you left and you were like, There's onions on the ground, there's a condom on the floor, there's a thing.

SPEAKER_03 26:37

No, I didn't know that. I definitely knew that there were water bottles left. I guess my mentality at the time was like, well, I cleaned most of it.

SPEAKER_01 26:45

And that's that's good. Yeah. He should be so thankful. But that's what I've been trying to tell uh my credit card company. I've paid most of it most of it.

SPEAKER_03 26:55

What I don't understand is that weekend why it smelled worse than because the tray was filled when you were there.

SPEAKER_00 27:02

You cooked, so it it couldn't cycle, it couldn't drop the poop into the tray, whereas his it probably it it Okay.

SPEAKER_03 27:11

Well, this I guess this weekend it must have been lighter tray because I think Benny's also feeling better.

SPEAKER_01 27:17

I think around the time he had a stomach issue. Oh, okay. And then also you did text me pretty late for the United States. We're in England, and I get a I wake up to a text going, hey, where's your oven fan?

SPEAKER_03 27:32

Oh yeah, yeah, because uh it's on the it's on the it's like where the microwave buttons are. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 27:38

I didn't know. And something had happened must have happened where you needed it.

SPEAKER_03 27:43

Uh no.

SPEAKER_00 27:48

I just want to feel comfortable knowing where everything is. Yep.

SPEAKER_03 27:52

Where one thing is. One part. Right now, hurry. Uh well, I was cooking and it was smoky. And then I needed to know where that was. But the company I brought over found it pretty quickly. I was like, oh, that's right there.

SPEAKER_01 28:07

Oh, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 28:08

So it wasn't like an emergency, like, oh, kitchen's on fire.

SPEAKER_01 28:12

Right. She she like slid into the room uh and uh found the with her slippers. Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_03 28:19

She was like, I should have uh I did think about the sheets. I was like, I should probably wash these.

SPEAKER_01 28:29

I'm the most I'm at I'm already asking more than I'm comfortable with. It feels like I'm asking you guys for a lot. When not you don't make me feel this way, but uh I don't want help unless and they're the only time I absolutely need it because I don't like abusing my relationships. Uh so you I found the what the most I can put up with when I come home from being gone a long time. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 28:56

I was trying to find it.

SPEAKER_01 28:57

You push the limit. Yeah, you now I know what the limit is. No, it's just that doesn't even have to be washed, just put it in the hamper.

SPEAKER_03 29:04

Oh, okay. Yeah. So that you know that yeah.

SPEAKER_01 29:06

I'm like, okay, I'll get that taken care of. Because I've I I'm go back a couple episodes. I had a butler, I didn't hit him up once at at the resort. I I'll take care of all the stuff, but definitely take the sheets uh that you that you did the nasty on. Yeah. What if he's not having psych? What if he's just jerking off? Uh well I know you're asking for a friend.

SPEAKER_03 29:36

Have you jerked off at his place before? Stop, Taylor.

SPEAKER_01 29:40

I haven't. One time though, I did walk in and he was pretending to do it.

SPEAKER_03 29:44

Yeah. His like his dick was out and he was tugging it?

SPEAKER_01 29:48

That's not pretending at that point. Is this a funny joke? I gotta tell you, no one's gonna think you're pretending if you do that. I was pretending. I'm a righty. Make-believe is great.

SPEAKER_03 30:08

I'm pretending to finish. So wait, you've have you stayed over his place before?

SPEAKER_00 30:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 30:16

And not once did you think to yank it?

SPEAKER_00 30:20

Did I think to? Yes, but I I did not.

SPEAKER_03 30:24

Why not?

SPEAKER_00 30:26

Um, I guess for the some of the reasons that we're talking about now. Like, I've already felt like uh That'd be crazy if he took the sheets off and you didn't. Yeah, right?

SPEAKER_03 30:39

I've thrown the hamper. I yanked it.

SPEAKER_00 30:42

Well, it's like I know you know, sometimes it's like, oh there's so many in here. He's been like, I washed the sheets and and laid out a whole thing, and and I I don't know. That seems like not the right thing to do, is to then beat off in them and then I think it's probably because I would have to let you know. Like I would have to be like, hey, you wouldn't have to do that. I would have to be like change you don't have to do. You have to let them know anything. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 31:17

That was so ominous. That was so ominous. What I said? Yeah. I replaced one of the cats. Oh man.

SPEAKER_00 31:31

So now we know you have.

SPEAKER_03 31:34

I have. No, I've never jerked off in there. I've never stayed over there except for that.

SPEAKER_01 31:41

That's not true. You stayed over before one time and and someone walked in.

SPEAKER_03 31:45

Yes. One time I was had food poisoning and I still had to feed his cats. So then I went and uh fed, and then I was so drained that I tried to take a nap in the daytime in the bed, and that's when Sarah and Joe walked into the house, into the door opened, and I just hear them, and then I get up and I go, Hey, and they go, Whoa, hey. I was uh are you feeding the cat? I was like, Yeah, I guess. Like, are you? Like I thought I was, and I was like, Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_01 32:17

Um this is a while ago when I had a roommate.

SPEAKER_03 32:21

Oh, yeah, okay. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 32:24

So and you were like, nope, I'm just here shitting my brains out.

SPEAKER_01 32:31

You know, I had black toilet paper. Uh, and let me be specific. I did it this big on purpose, and your faces changed better than I could have imagined.

SPEAKER_03 32:42

Black toilet paper.

SPEAKER_01 32:43

I was at the four seasons, yeah, and they had black toilet paper. Cause I think you just want to be fancy and then they go to the extra mile. So made of velvet? No, it was the same, but it no, it was a little uh thicker.

SPEAKER_04 32:57

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_01 32:57

Uh, and I took a roll home and I put it in my I'm like, this is funny. Yeah, let's see this. And then Olivia stayed over and she's like, Why do you have black toilet paper? And I'm like, uh, well, I say that the four seasons this blah blah and she's like, How are you gonna know when you're done? Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 33:24

That's the first thing that comes to mind.

SPEAKER_01 33:25

Well, your shit's not black, right? It still shows up.

SPEAKER_03 33:29

Can you see the brown on the black?

SPEAKER_01 33:31

No, I learned that quickly. Really? Yeah. Yeah. So you're black's darker than brown.

SPEAKER_03 33:35

So you're hoping.

SPEAKER_00 33:37

Wait, black is darker than brown? Is that what you said? Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 33:42

Yeah. Do you have a problem with that statement?

SPEAKER_01 33:45

What's are you really getting what's the what's the problem here? Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 33:50

Make brown darker and it's black. Yes, black is darker than brown, so the lightness will show up against the dark. If you put white on this wall, you'll see it, because the white is light and it's like a contrast.

SPEAKER_03 34:03

That's true. Yes, I get I get what you're saying. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 34:06

They're similar, I'll give you that.

SPEAKER_03 34:07

Yeah, but I wouldn't say brown is it's not gonna show up as well. It's not white. Yes, of course. White is quite bright.

SPEAKER_00 34:13

But you you could know if there's shit on the paper. Apparently not.

SPEAKER_03 34:16

So when you wiped, did you see any of your like brown streaks on it? Like maybe a curd or something?

SPEAKER_01 34:30

A curd. What's amazing is I don't think you use vocabulary uh uh until you get to something that can be disturbing. Yeah. I think you're like pretty right down the middle until it's something that's just. And when describing shit, he's like uh a speck of did you happen to see a shimmer of blood glistening glistening on the Walt Whitman.

SPEAKER_03 35:08

So you wipe your ass with this black toilet paper. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 35:15

Nah, I mean you it's scrunched up. You can tell there's stuff on it, but yeah.

SPEAKER_00 35:20

I've been using I use the the like the wet wipes. Oh, dude wipes, right? Yeah, huh? No, they're flushables. They make speci cottonel makes specific ones that are flushable. Oh no, they're not flushable. They're flushable. They say they're they're flushable. Uh-huh. I hope. I mean, it says it on the package that they're flushable. And do you do that because it feels nice? Yeah, uh, yeah. And also it's feels cleaner. Yeah, it's definitely cleaner. Yeah. Sometimes I'll wipe first with toilet paper and to where I would normally be like, alright. For an appetizer. Yeah. I'll wipe as like a cleanser. Just to tri just to tease your ass. Just to tease, be like, and I'm not done. And then I pop open the cotton mill. For my next trick. Yeah. It's like it's like the hot towel after Armasat, you know, when they put that on your face or whatever.

SPEAKER_01 36:12

It's like when you're getting a haircut and you forget they shave your neck at the end. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 36:16

And they hit you with the the blow dryer, you know, they get all the things like that. It's a good time. Wow. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 36:22

Um sometimes because I don't have wet wipes, I'll I'll use the paper towel and I'll put some warm water on it. And that simulates a wet wipe.

SPEAKER_01 36:33

Yeah. But those you should not flush.

SPEAKER_03 36:36

Oh no, not paper towel, sorry. Um toilet paper. So one time I had the water too hot. And your uh anus is sense more sensitive to heat um than your rest of your body. I'll tell you that. It wasn't like a burn where I had like it was peeling and I had blisters or whatever, but it was hot enough where I was like, that was that's not pleasant. It reacted.

SPEAKER_01 37:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 37:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 37:03

Exactly. This one.

SPEAKER_00 37:05

This one just paints all the pictures. Yeah. I uh if we're on speaking of uh asshole topics, I I was at Jess's the other day and uh Hey, you can't go with that.

SPEAKER_01 37:17

Alright, keep going.

SPEAKER_00 37:19

And uh it was the middle of the day, and I was I had I had just I ran a really long run and I was like kind of wiped. And she's like, let's take a nap, you know? So I was like, okay.

SPEAKER_03 37:28

I just don't know. I'm just I have no idea where this is going, but the the place we just came from, it's crazy for you to just start there, but go ahead.

SPEAKER_00 37:38

Well, it's uh so we take a nap.

SPEAKER_01 37:41

You're sweaty and you go into bed. We take it.

SPEAKER_00 37:43

No, no, no. I I had showered it, uh done it all at my place. I was at her place now. But I was tired, so it's like, let's take a nap. So we take a nap. You only take like a 20-minute nap. And I've done for the better part of a year and a half, I've done a pretty good job of not like farting in front of her or trying not to when I can. And when I was asleep, I must have just let one go, like, under the covers. And she like went to adjust, and it just hit her in the face. And I seriously think in that moment she like second guessed everything.

SPEAKER_03 38:21

Like, she like This is really disgusting, by the way.

SPEAKER_04 38:25

It's so gross.

SPEAKER_00 38:26

I just want to say it's yours or bad. It was it was really bad, and uh she didn't like she texted me later about Hey, can I talk to you? Yeah, she was literally like she was like, babe, that was really and it was a particularly bad one. Uh she was like it she was like, it really it was like really bad. Babe, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 38:50

I'm still pretty uh pissed off about that. You want me to come over and talk about stay where you are.

SPEAKER_00 38:56

Yeah, I mean I'm glad it happened, but uh because you yeah, it you gotta it's a thing you gotta go through. Like you gotta see me at my wrist. Yeah, I ri I ripped off that band-aid pretty quick.

SPEAKER_01 39:07

Yeah, yeah. You fought right away with the I I I fought it for as long as I could, but now I know the seal has been broken. I don't remember the first one, but I know that more recently I've done it, and this is why she's the girl for me. She went she did like a Stephen bit. I pretended to try to find where the sound was coming from.

SPEAKER_00 39:29

Yeah. It uh parts are different when you have like 180 grams of protein in a diet, like it's just oh like the whey protein. Yeah, that's gross. It's different, yeah. Even the it's like a cloud. Yeah, I I I think up until then she just thinks I have to pee like eleven times a night when I'm at her place. Because I'll go to the bathroom to do it and uh and then come back. But I I I I felt like Vinic, I was like, I I was asleep. I don't know what to tell you. I didn't choose to do this to you. Sleep's off limits. I might I did it to me as well.

SPEAKER_03 40:06

I'm also in the sleeping is off limits?

SPEAKER_01 40:08

Anything that you do while you're sleeping is off limits. Fair game. Off limits is different. Fair no office. Fair game means you can go for oh, we're saying the same thing, but from different angles. It's off limits to go to criticize. And it's fair game, you can do it. You can do it, yeah. Uh but everything he's motioning you cannot do, you would not be asleep.

SPEAKER_04 40:34

Yeah, there's reason I was asleep.

SPEAKER_01 40:38

That does not count. I've never seen that kind of sleepwalking in my way.

SPEAKER_00 40:43

I sleptwalk and put your girlfriend's slippers on.

SPEAKER_01 40:49

Got to Peter in my girlfriend's slippers running around.

SPEAKER_04 40:54

Just run in a robe with lipstick on.

SPEAKER_00 40:58

He put a condom on, there's no one there. Oh man.

SPEAKER_03 41:08

So um yeah. This weekend your your cat shit a lot. And uh but it didn't smell, so I was like, oh, I'll leave it.

SPEAKER_01 41:17

No, again, it wasn't bad.

SPEAKER_03 41:19

Right. So it's cra that that weekend, I think it was your cat's stomach, though. You know? I'm sure some of the food may have been. Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_01 41:26

It's a mix of smells.

SPEAKER_03 41:28

Yeah. Um I did see flies uh this weekend.

SPEAKER_01 41:33

It happens every summer. Uh and I've got a trap now.

SPEAKER_03 41:37

Okay. And there was a fly on the window that I uh I I I got it. It was a big one. And it's one of those flies that once you squish it, um all the maggots uh in its belly are are out. Okay. And so I took that, put it in one of your cups, put it in the sink.

SPEAKER_01 42:01

All right. So I think you got the bingo card of all the the most disgusting images you could put in.

SPEAKER_03 42:11

It's for the people who don't like the ad reads. Yeah. You know who you are. Let's yeah, let's let's ease up on them. Um so great.

SPEAKER_01 42:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 42:23

So yeah.

SPEAKER_01 42:24

Anyone else have a conflict?

SPEAKER_03 42:26

Oh, wait, I would have we would have to bring up I think for every time we spin it, we have just one person going. Oh, what a what a treat for me. And luckily that's it. Oh, great. Perfect. Because each conflict takes up a lot of time. Yeah, that's fair. You know?

SPEAKER_01 42:41

Yeah, yeah. And yeah.

SPEAKER_00 42:48

Uh I went skateboarding shirtless today.

SPEAKER_03 42:53

Are you a skateboarder?

SPEAKER_00 42:55

No. Not really. I have a I don't have like a regular skateboard. I have a it's called a penny board. It's like a basically like a tiny long board. Yeah, it's a teeny one. Yeah. Yeah. It's uh I have one of those.

SPEAKER_03 43:05

Which for you is a regular size one. I'm sorry. Okay, so go ahead.

SPEAKER_00 43:11

It's a penny board, but it takes up a quarter of his body. I'm gonna do an Asian accent in a second. Uh so we are way past that. Uh I have it, I haven't um ridden it in a while, but my something's fucked up with my bike. Uh it's not the battery's not charging. So um It's gotta be fully charged. I have to. You gotta re-oh, you gotta charge it.

SPEAKER_03 43:37

You gotta charge. That's that's your problem right there. You gotta charge.

SPEAKER_00 43:43

Yeah, something faulty, whatever. So I'm dealing with that. The bike's adjustes, so I don't have it. But uh, I was like, band it, I want to get outside, I want to do a do a thing. And so my I was like, my phone is like on whatever, 18%. So I just left my phone at home and then I took Took my my board out in the park and I just went along the water, went up and down uh step street or whatever, and uh it was hot out, and I was like, you know what, we're gonna pop the top, and uh man, the best. Feels good. I'll never do that, but it feels good. You could but you can. You just like the guy screaming in the street, people look at you, they're like, alright, and then you keep going.

SPEAKER_01 44:21

Alright, that's his body. You could no like being shirtless in public.

SPEAKER_03 44:27

Oh, you're talking about being shirtless is the kind of the brave thing.

SPEAKER_00 44:32

It's it's uh I don't even consider it brave. It was it was just like the whole thing, the not having the phone, the skin. Being present, like the yeah, like to be present, the wind in your it was just the whole thing was a good uh wind on your head. Yeah, wind on my head. You know?

SPEAKER_03 44:52

Just by the way, when we were at Warp Tour, we're watching like one of the bands, you know? And then we're we're watching this band for a while, and he just looks at me and he goes, What is it about being a being a rock band where you just get to keep your hair? There's this guy that's like 45 with gray hair, but it's like this.

SPEAKER_00 45:12

It's beautiful, and he's just I'm like, they all have just beautiful heads of hair. Yeah, just they somehow they still look like them. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 45:20

Yeah. It's uh unfair.

SPEAKER_00 45:23

It's really unfair. Yeah. Uh but regardless. You could take your shirt off. I'm I'm I'm sick of this, like I I have a shitty body thing where you can't, you know.

SPEAKER_03 45:35

Oh, Steve? Yeah. I could You've never said that to me.

SPEAKER_00 45:39

Huh? Well, you don't complain about it.

SPEAKER_03 45:41

Oh, okay. But if I could take my shirt. See what I did there?

SPEAKER_01 45:57

You should be complaining.

SPEAKER_00 46:00

He should take his shirt off.

SPEAKER_01 46:03

You have some real grievances, but no, I've seen him uh shirtless more times than I've asked. And uh and uh as long as it's the top half, then he well, it's a point flip. He's in good he's in good shape.

SPEAKER_03 46:21

I would say that. I think there's still a little little spare tire to get rid of rid of that I'm trying to get it ready by beach day, July 4th.

SPEAKER_01 46:28

I'm excited.

SPEAKER_00 46:29

Yeah. But I I say uh this is gonna be a weird sentence, but it's a similar thing that I say to my mom. Because my mom complains about how she looks. My mom complains about how she looks, but I think she looks great for her age. Whereas the same thing with with us, we're all in our 30s. And if you look at what uh a lot of other people look like in their 30s, we're all doing great.

SPEAKER_03 46:52

Okay, Steve, Steve is your mom. Okay?

SPEAKER_00 46:55

She's what was something she might say about like if I could just like I don't know, if I could just get down like a couple more pounds or like, you know, lose a little bit of fat around you know, my waist or something like that, then I'll be good.

SPEAKER_03 47:08

Okay, you say that. Say it just like that.

SPEAKER_01 47:10

You know, if I could just uh if I could just lose a a couple of pounds or you know a little bit around the waist, and then I'd be good.

SPEAKER_00 47:20

You're in your 50s. Like look at anyone else your age. Anyone else your age. They look like dog shit. You don't say that. I don't I say a version of that. I'm like comparatively because my mom is only comparing to how she used to look, which is what we all do, and so it's like, yeah, you don't look like you do when you were 30.

SPEAKER_01 47:43

But I'd like to.

unknown 47:45

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 47:45

I don't like, but that's you j it's age. You're you're gonna be, you know, 60. It's like you're saying I'm unattractive? You can't hold on to it. To me, yuck. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 48:00

I'll say your mom. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 48:10

She is beautiful. She's a great woman. She is. She's very supportive. Yeah. Listening now?

SPEAKER_04 48:20

That was a tough start. Your mom.

SPEAKER_03 48:24

I mean, let's just say. Let me just say. Your mom. Uh but yeah, lovely. Um anyway. The point beautiful eyes.

SPEAKER_02 48:37

What's going on?

SPEAKER_00 48:39

I don't know. Why can't you stop? Lovely woman. We got yeah, she's the lovely woman. All I'm saying is uh I'm a big fan of your mom. Enough of my mom. All I'm saying is you guys have nothing to worry about and shouldn't feel bad about you know taking taking your shirt off.

SPEAKER_03 48:59

Well, if that's the case, why do you work so hard to have a perfect bod like you do?

SPEAKER_01 49:06

If we must accept And don't negate our compliment. I'm not saying accept.

SPEAKER_00 49:10

I'm not saying stop here, you're good.

SPEAKER_03 49:13

Oh, so there's still work to do.

SPEAKER_00 49:15

If it it it depends on how you feel. Like, I feel best, like the the more in shape I am, the better I feel.

SPEAKER_01 49:23

Right. And would you like to see more people doing their best?

SPEAKER_03 49:29

Yeah. Like if you had Steve's body now, would you consider hey, I'm I'm done with it.

SPEAKER_00 49:36

I'm gonna end it all. Uh no.

SPEAKER_03 49:43

Well, that ain't gonna give me to stop eating. Say that again. If you had Steven's body now, would you feel like you needed to exercise more and keep, you know, working out?

SPEAKER_01 49:55

If you got if you get were I had your whole body, if you got to have this.

SPEAKER_00 49:58

The top half. Oh yeah, then I'd start. Yeah, then I'd uh have some work to do. Uh no, I would continue. No matter whose body I'd have, I'd continue to work out. You know. But uh I I if you had my body, would you work out more? N more than I already do? No, probably not.

SPEAKER_01 50:26

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 50:27

What I'm saying And if you had Peter's body. I wouldn't be doing anything more, it would just be it would be different. I wouldn't be working out more, I would be changing the way that I eat, most likely. But again, if I had either of your bodies, I would still take my shirt off at the beach, is the point. Right, right.

SPEAKER_03 50:48

Which I do. Yeah. You take my beach. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 50:52

I take it off when I was skateboarding in the park.

SPEAKER_03 50:54

The thing is, you say this thing about your chest, and I literally don't see it.

SPEAKER_00 50:59

I don't know what you're talking about.

SPEAKER_01 51:00

Oh, uh, I have Pectus excavatum, but I have a sorry?

SPEAKER_03 51:04

You haven't heard of this?

SPEAKER_01 51:05

Oh, I'm a big fan of the first album, yes. Yes, yes. Uh chest pothole. Uh nice. But there's people that have it much more so. Before I was stronger, right? It's before I was left. Uh should be the yeah, change it. Should change the title.

SPEAKER_03 51:27

Uh I mean, like you you need like had you never never even told me, I would have never noticed.

SPEAKER_01 51:33

Uh I've had some people say that, and then I've had some people go, what's that? What's that? You are I I don't know, because it's been a while. And fill it with sand. I've had that I mean little kids at the beach.

SPEAKER_00 51:45

Mommy, what's that?

SPEAKER_01 51:47

Yeah. I mean, it's not as nearly as bad as uh some other people. They've there's a I used to have a line about it. They would put they'd have to break your ribs to fix it. What? Yeah, to like there's a uh Ben um Franklin nope, Miller. The comedian he's got it, and we've talked about it because you'd have you'd have to like put a rod in there and break.

SPEAKER_00 52:14

Did he do that?

SPEAKER_01 52:15

No, I I think it's the same, you know, as disturbing as it sounds, you don't want that. If it's just if it affects your breathing and stuff, which is it the same surgery where afterwards you can suck your own dick? Uh man.

SPEAKER_03 52:32

Yeah, that's where you remove some ribs over it. Yeah, got it. Which I had done two years ago.

SPEAKER_00 52:39

And I asked them to take another. And they wouldn't. The regular amount of ribs.

SPEAKER_01 52:45

So you what you should have asked is it it whenever you've stayed over at Steve's, have you ever as your own D.

SPEAKER_00 52:56

Yeah. You can't get in trouble if it's me doing it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 52:59

If you could do it, do you think you would have by now? Probably.

SPEAKER_00 53:02

Done the surgery?

SPEAKER_03 53:03

No, not the surgery.

SPEAKER_00 53:05

Oh.

SPEAKER_01 53:05

But like somebody's got a great bit. Ray Romano's got an amazing one. I don't know if it's him. No, it's it's somebody it's somebody.

SPEAKER_04 53:15

If I uh if I could uh suck it.

SPEAKER_01 53:18

He would like, when will we stop? He's like, when will we stop? You'd have to give uh the one of those dog cones.

SPEAKER_00 53:28

Yeah. I it was somebody had about like like you think it feels talking about w whether it feels more like getting your dick suck or more like sucking a dick, and he's just gonna be a little bit more. Oh, it was in England. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yes, it was. And he's like, it definitely it's gotta feel like sucking a dick. I forget the angle that he had, but it was like I'd never heard that before. It was very funny. Yeah. Yeah, that's where it was. It was England. But uh, we'll never have to worry about that, am I right? Alright.

SPEAKER_03 53:57

What if every time you jerked off your friend felt it? And not you? And not you. And then your friend would have to joke off, so you feel it. Do you make an arrangement to like, hey, I'm gonna wanna hey, 9 45.

SPEAKER_00 54:11

We don't be late. Don't be late. Also from 7 to 9, please don't. I'm at dinner with her parents. Please don't.

SPEAKER_02 54:23

Sure.

SPEAKER_01 54:24

The reservation gets put back at a half hour and my texts aren't going through. Can you no, no?

SPEAKER_02 54:31

Can you pass the potatoes?

SPEAKER_00 54:37

Wow. Yeah, that uh I I don't know if I would make an arrangement. Uh no, I would not. I wouldn't do it.

SPEAKER_03 54:45

Oh, you would just never touch it again.

SPEAKER_00 54:47

Yeah. Wow. You just you would just get surprised.

SPEAKER_01 54:51

Unless I knew my buddy was having a rough day.

unknown 54:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 54:55

My grandfather passed.

SPEAKER_01 54:57

All right. All right. I'll be right back. You might want to go somewhere else. Are you sitting down? Wow.

SPEAKER_03 55:11

One time I uh I was uh me and my brother we had a bunk bed, you know.

SPEAKER_01 55:17

I think I know the story. Keep going.

SPEAKER_03 55:23

Uh and then I w I was on the top bunk. He was on a bottom bunk, and I thought, let me go for it. You know? Um, and so I was doing it, and then uh I heard my brother go, what's happening? And then I uh then I slowed it down and then finished.

SPEAKER_00 55:51

That's wild that you did it knowing he's awake.

SPEAKER_03 55:57

I was a teenager, man.

SPEAKER_00 55:59

Yeah. I had a I had a shared bunker in the basement with my older brother, and I was on the top bunker, but he wasn't there. And we had like basically to get down to the basement. If somebody opened that basement door, you had about five seconds before they entered the room. So I heard the door open and I was like, you know, kicked and and he just walked into the room and he was like, it smells like lotion in here. The whole room smelled like lotion.

SPEAKER_03 56:27

How much lotion were you using?

SPEAKER_00 56:29

Uh barely a lot. Lotion's not uh great. You have to reapply it a lot to keep the lubrication cleaning.

SPEAKER_03 56:37

So you're circumcised if you're using lotion.

SPEAKER_00 56:40

I'm circumcised. Yeah. Yeah. Nice. Alright, well. I think it's not, you I think it's if you're not, I'm not, right? You don't have to use, what is it, self-lube?

SPEAKER_03 56:53

Uh yeah, my foreskin.

SPEAKER_00 56:55

So great. Alright, he'll do plugs. You tell me about how this is working. My foreskin. I'm gonna be uh I get to use it in Austin Pudger Club.

SPEAKER_01 57:05

Okay, August uh 19th, 20th. Yeah, exactly. Peter will be opening. I'll also be recording my special uh February 27th at Green Point Comedy Club. It'll be a Queen special. Make sure you check that out. Spin on it. And also, if you like the podcast, uh you know, give it a share, a like, and all that stuff.

SPEAKER_03 57:28

Last one had a bunny of issues. I bet we wish this one did. All right, thank you, everybody. Thanks. Thank you very much. Any plugs? Oh, yeah. Um the foreskin.

SPEAKER_01 57:42

So I'm gonna be in Cleveland, September.

SPEAKER_00 57:45

Uh follow me on uh we'll we'll Peter and I will be in Boston uh first or second weekend of August. Uh so come out to that, and then subscribe to my YouTube and look out for when my special will be released. Editing is just about done, so just gotta come up with a date to release it, and yeah.

SPEAKER_03 58:09

Yeah. Um check us out when we're there, and I have my album in Boston uh end of October. October, yeah. Or the beginning of November. So a date will be coming out soon. So thanks for listening and watching. He, he, he.