HeHeHe
Hehehe is a comedy podcast with best friends Steven Rogers, Peter Wong, and Tayler Yarish just being silly and making each other laugh. It’s loose, friendly, and a little mischievous. Think hanging out with your funniest friends and laughing at stuff you probably shouldn’t.
HeHeHe
Ep. 028—Sharing A Cheek
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The boys are back! They have an unfortunate wheel spin that ends in a kiss on the cheek. Spicy. Enjoy.
Welcome to the show.
SPEAKER_01We talk on a microphone and we share our thoughts. Then we respond. Then sometimes we laugh. Less than you would hope.
SPEAKER_02This feels like the things uh teachers do to get all the students to like stop chatting. And they have when they hear the snaps, they know they all have to snap. When you hear the snaps, you have to snap.
SPEAKER_00Okay. All right.
SPEAKER_02What if we started with this bit? Let me tell you this. I guess not. No. I guess I got pulled over. I saw the story. Uh when you know how you do a show. Oh, so I want to hear all about the You got pulled over? Yeah. I was on the Wait, can he guess why? Sure. Um knowing him. No, knowing him, why would he get pulled over? And that there's no limit to what there's you can just no wrong answer? Just knowing answer. Look at Peter and knowing Peter. What do you mean look at him? Well, look, I'm just saying look at him and guess what it would be.
SPEAKER_03Really look at him and guess why he got pulled over?
SPEAKER_02Oh, I see what you're saying now. But I know the real reason, and I think I would guess it.
SPEAKER_03Oh, okay. Okay, so you where can I ask where you got pulled over? The highway. You got pulled over on the highway. Um I'm gonna guess it has something to do with your insurance. Okay. That's one guess, Stephen.
SPEAKER_02I know it. I can't Oh, okay. What did what did you hear? I saw the story. You talked about it on stage last year.
SPEAKER_01What did it say on the story?
SPEAKER_02Well, it's gonna be the whole reason. Oh, go ahead. All right. Peter got pulled over for playing a video game on his phone.
SPEAKER_03Man, you know, I wouldn't have brought that element of like what you know about Peter. Why would he get pulled up? Like he was doing an Asian thing.
SPEAKER_02I was doing a misdirect that you would do. Of course.
SPEAKER_03Yes, but that's also still something that he would do, but I would never think, like, well, yeah, he's doing that while he's driving. He likes, you know, uh, I'm more soup. He was cooking soup while driving.
SPEAKER_02He's eating chili. Yeah, he's eating chili. The cops, like, you can't do that. Yeah. Uh I know that about you because I have played with you while you're driving. That's why I know.
SPEAKER_01That's correct.
SPEAKER_03Now let me be clear on the video game. Did he say, like, I saw you texting, and you were like, No? Why are you looking at me?
SPEAKER_00I was I figured he saw the story.
SPEAKER_01All right, so let me tell you this. I'm glad I'm glad you didn't guess DUI. You know?
SPEAKER_03Oh, yeah. No, remarkably, you've been unscathed in that department.
SPEAKER_02And uh you should pull him over, please. That's a family feud where when an ex comes up, everybody goes, What?
SPEAKER_01So yeah, I was uh driving and uh so I I was playing a game. Uh is it the game I suspect? No, because that one's at least like uh there's I could I could make excuses and have your hands on the wheel on the wheel, and that one that game blood on the clock tower, you play it's like this, you know. I was playing a game like like this, and when the phone is horizontal, that's because you're supposed to use two hands to play it.
SPEAKER_03And you're like, all right, well, I can't do that in drive. That's really tough.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, so I got so I have this mount for my my phone. I have the GPS screen ready, but I got a mount for my phone so I can use the phone safer than if it wasn't mounted. Yeah, right? Of course, because imagine I had my face down like that. That's dangerous. Right.
SPEAKER_03So at least you're like, I'm gonna drive with my peripheral vision.
SPEAKER_01Would you prefer my peripheral vision or none of my vision?
SPEAKER_03So what they say, have 10% of your eye on the roof.
SPEAKER_01So it's on the MagSafe thing like this. Yeah. Just just just so you're aware. I'm aware that it's not safe. However, I think I do it pretty safely.
SPEAKER_02But that said, I would hope you have that confidence if you're gonna do it anyway. You know how they say when one of your senses is uh down, the other one's heightened, you already can't hear. I can smell the other cars. Yeah. So there's a truck coming. Oh, it's on fire.
SPEAKER_01It has diesel. So my phone's, you know, mounted like this, and I'm going like like that, you know, playing it right. And uh I'm doing it for probably Is it a piano game? Uh so I'm playing it for about it's it's probably a mile on the highway or so. And there's a car like here next to me. Uh and uh, you know, so all of a sudden the car this next to me suddenly goes behind me and then starts going with the sirens. Like, oh, it has its own game. Oh, you're playing a game too, huh?
SPEAKER_04Boom, boop, boom, table.
SPEAKER_01And then immediately I'm like, okay, so I go, I know what this is. I immediately shove to the shoulder to pull over, and then he's he goes like he goes on the thing, he's like, Don't don't go to the exit, do not do the shoulder. So then we go take the exit. Take the exit, yeah. So I go to the exit, and then he has me on the right side of the exit thing, and we're out, and then uh and I I he goes, park here. So I park, and then I uh and then he goes, put on the one foot this time.
SPEAKER_00Two two steps this time. Park to the right, park to the left, crisscross, everybody on their own.
SPEAKER_04So all right, that's the first clip.
SPEAKER_01So I uh then he goes, uh put on the hazard. So I put it on, and then he comes out um and he goes, uh I'm sorry, that was so fun. He walks up and uh he goes, uh he goes, uh what are you doing? He goes, like that? Yeah, he's like I can see you're fiddling on the phone, you did it for half a mile. Uh and then you I was driving next to you, you started coming close to me and going back. And I go, I literally go, I'm sorry. I I I am like it's just yeah, I was on the I was on the phone. Like I even I just knew I didn't know. Yeah, there's nothing you can do. Nothing I can do, and I'm not gonna become bad at maybe I could appeal to his to the ego, to, to, to that part of the just the respect part of the let's hear how you did that. So that's what I did, right? So I said, Yeah, you know, that's right. Oh yeah. And he said, and it's raining too, you know, so it's like day extra dangerous, you know. But honestly, in my head, I was like, if it's raining, it'll be harder for people to see into the my window, so that's why I would get away with it more. He's like, Why are you saying this out loud?
SPEAKER_03So then he goes why I did it, officer, because I thought you wouldn't see me.
SPEAKER_01This helps my case.
SPEAKER_03But you're such a good cop. Yeah. So it's such good vision that you able to see into my why aren't you captain at this point?
SPEAKER_01So uh he he uh he goes, license and registration, uh please. And I go, uh okay. Oh, by the way, my hands are on the the steering wheel the whole time. Sure. Because I just want him to see that when he gets here.
SPEAKER_02He's like, oh, so you know how to do that. Yeah. You can do that.
SPEAKER_01No controls on the steering wheels for the video game.
SPEAKER_03Your phone's blinking. It's your turn. It's your turn to play. Thank God it wasn't blood on the clock tire.
SPEAKER_01They're like, Peter, where are you? Yeah. So uh um, so then he goes, license registration. And then here's a cool trick I learned. You you what do you do? What do you do? I can't wait. You go, okay. Uh uh, is it okay if I reach for my wallet? Which is uh, you know, you could always just go for it. But but by doing that, by asking it, it shows you're aware of what that what they're worried about, it shows respect. You know what I mean? So then he goes, Yeah. So I go and uh I get it, and so I pull out my uh here's my wallet. I love those videos so much. I go, here's my driver's license, and here is my PBA card. Uh PBA card PP butthole a pussy butt ass card.
SPEAKER_00This is a photo, all those things. Please be awesome.
SPEAKER_04And let me go.
SPEAKER_01So the idea of uh of a PBA card.
SPEAKER_02What is a PBA?
SPEAKER_01So if you have a relative or a friend who is um in the forces, uh in the armed service, uh, for example, a police officer, a detective. Uh, it only works for a cop.
SPEAKER_03I don't think it's military.
SPEAKER_01What did I say?
SPEAKER_03Uh, armed forces.
SPEAKER_01They don't have those.
SPEAKER_03And I don't think like if you're someone's in the military.
SPEAKER_01The idea is I guess the P stands for police.
SPEAKER_02And who in your life is because I've never heard of anyone in your life being in any of these positions.
SPEAKER_01I have a friend who's a detective.
SPEAKER_03It does sound like a lot.
SPEAKER_01Are you a detective now? Are you the police all of a sudden? I must have gotten it from you. The way you're pressing it.
SPEAKER_02Is it from your your high school friend group? Yeah. I did know this.
SPEAKER_01Okay. So, well, well, you're off the case now. Uh PBA card. I hand him, uh, and then he goes, uh, oh, who's who's this person to you? And I go, he's a family friend. Uh he's just a he's a friend. I don't know why I threw family in, but I was like, I gotta get closer. Yeah, this might juice it a little more. He's been to Thanksgiving. You know? Yeah. So he goes, All right, give me a second. Goes to uh the car, uh, and uh during this time I'm I I don't make any sun in I don't choose, I don't play it. I just go just just look at the window and just wait. And then uh he comes back and he goes, uh so I called uh your buddy and uh uh and uh he says uh you picked up and uh I'm gonna give you a warning this time. And so, you know, just be careful. Uh he can't be doing that. And I go, Yeah, you're right. There was no excuse uh for doing what I was doing. And he goes, and I'm letting you go because you're very respectful. Um that's part of it. Uh just keep in mind there's a warning and it's flagged in our system as a warning, so next time you do it, you'll see that there's a warning there, so you don't do this again. Yeah, you know? And I was like, uh, of course.
SPEAKER_02I read you loud and clear, why don't you drive off? I gotta get all my my stuff in order here.
SPEAKER_01And then he drove off, and then uh then my friend said, You gotta you call me when you and I called him, he goes, What happened? I was like, I was being Oh, he didn't tell him. He said, Yeah, I was fiddling with my phone, that's all he knew. And then so I told him, Yeah, I was playing a mobile game, uh, and it was getting intense, so I really had to stay on it. So um then, I mean I was on my way to show, right? And uh when I got pulled over, this is what I learned. Uh I f I felt whatever my mood was before getting pulled over, then I got pulled over and it dropped. So it didn't feel good. Interesting. But then after I got a warning, my mood was even better than it was before I got pulled over.
SPEAKER_02Adrenaline.
SPEAKER_01Oh yeah. It felt amazing.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, yeah, I could see that.
SPEAKER_02Did you have the best set of your life?
SPEAKER_01Uh the set, yeah. I did talk about it. Uh oh, because it was last night. It was last night. It literally I I I got pulled over, got let out let go, and then in 30 minutes later, I was on stage. Wow. Um, so yeah, I guess what I'm saying is do whatever you want. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02It's good to know a guy. Get yourself a PBA card and let it rip.
SPEAKER_03I've never heard of anybody actually uh using one. Like I know a lot of people who have had them but never have used them, and they actually uh do something with it. They usually just like, oh yeah, okay. But I've never seen the cop like call like, hey, do you know?
SPEAKER_01Oh, I know of the stickers. What do you mean? I mean, that's the whole purpose of them. Is to is I can't believe these cards exist. Sometimes it's like a get out of jail free card.
SPEAKER_03It literally it's it's like uh, hey, could you do me uh do a favor for a guy who's who's in the force. Yeah, I mean, it really shouldn't be a thing. I do like the fact that he gave you a warning because you seem to show remorse and you were respectful and all that stuff. Like that kind of does play.
SPEAKER_01It's a cocktail of it's not just yeah, it's that plus that, you know. And I wasn't like, oh, hey, by the way, here's a PBA card, motherfucker.
SPEAKER_03Because the whole idea of a war, yeah, the whole idea of a warning in general, like what would make somebody give you a warning because you had every right to get a ticket and probably points, honestly, yeah on your license. Like texting and driving is uh And he's all about points, that's what he's on the game.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, you would have got the highest. I'm gonna do this more.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I mean you you could have got really uh shafted.
SPEAKER_01Yeah because that's uh let's look how many points why'd you look at me like that?
SPEAKER_03I'm gonna guess three.
SPEAKER_02It's it's uh it's a doozy, right? What's the amount of points you can have before 12?
SPEAKER_03I think uh I was gonna say 11. I think 11 points and your license is uh suspended. How many points for texting in general? I've had points for uh running red lights.
SPEAKER_01Five points. It's five points for texting.
SPEAKER_03What's running red lights?
SPEAKER_01Running red lights? Yeah. I don't know. I do I I've been doing that like crazy lately.
SPEAKER_03Well, I've done that, I got pulled over on my bike. But he doesn't know that he's running them at the time. I got points on my license for doing that on my bike.
SPEAKER_01Oh, what? Yeah. That's bananas.
SPEAKER_03It was at midnight, I was going home in Brooklyn, it was midnight, nobody on the road, and I coasted to a red light, yeah, and I got pulled over and ticketed.
SPEAKER_02You don't get points if you're not pulled over. Correct. But I'm doing great.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I got yeah, so that's while I was on my regular bike.
SPEAKER_03If I was on my electric bike, I would not have pulled over.
SPEAKER_01Well, five points is no joke, huh?
SPEAKER_03Wait, what?
SPEAKER_01Wait, what? Oh, you were on your regular if you were on your electric bike. If I was on my electric bike, you would have gunned it.
SPEAKER_03Actually, that's not true. You would outrun the cops on your electric bike. It was uh if I was on my electric bike and it was the middle of the day, I wouldn't have yeah. Because uh yeah, you're not catching me.
SPEAKER_01Wait, why is the date matter different than the name?
SPEAKER_03Because if there's nobody on the road, me going like up a one way to try to evade, they could come at they could more easily get me because there's nobody on the road to ever stop. Yeah, traffic. I can weave in, that's the only thing I have to my advantage. I can weave in and out of traffic. That's why they can't get these like motorcycle gang, you know, they can't stop anybody because they can't do what they do. Oh that's why they can't pull anybody over. Like, please pull over. No. And they're like, what do you do? Have you thought, did you think about saying no?
SPEAKER_01Well, five points is crazy. I mean, I really got I got off. Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_03You should you should uh do something nice for your friend.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, sure, yeah. But yeah, I mean, yeah, I I really uh that that was a it was a it was not good. Yeah. Uh and I but I got out of it. And so you know, who cares? Everything is great. Lesson learned.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, sounds like you learned your lesson.
SPEAKER_01I'll tell you what. So so this PBA thing, right? Because uh in uh 20 uh 21, I was uh I was driving, and then I uh there's you know how there's a left lane and a middle lane, and a left lane turns left, and middle lane you're not allowed to, you have to make right. One of those things. Well, left lane was a lot of cars, and so I was like, Well, I'm not waiting, so I'm gonna go to the middle.
SPEAKER_02It's my favorite way though.
SPEAKER_01So I skipped to the front, and then you cut across God banged it. I do that all the time, but that's particularly illegal because the lane says you can't.
SPEAKER_03Real pause. Are you if if there's an exit on the highway and there's a long line of cars on the exit, do you drive right to the front of the exit and go over?
SPEAKER_02Won't you answer that for me, Steve? I've been in the car while you've done it.
SPEAKER_03I you're the worst person.
SPEAKER_01I hate that. Actually, let me just tell you that by doing a zipper merge, um, you are helping the flow of traffic.
SPEAKER_00Interesting.
SPEAKER_01Because if you lie, if everyone just keeps lining up back, you're actually gonna create a continuous longer line.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, so let me get let me get in the non-exit lane and then have to slow down and then stop the cars behind me so I can wait for someone to come in.
SPEAKER_01But it's better to have two short lane, short slash medium lanes, than one long lane. Because that long lane starts backing up a uh other entrance or something. Of course, you guys are against long lanes. Hold on. Let me just say this is this is this is a fact that it's the case. And if it didn't help the flow of traffic, I would still do it.
SPEAKER_03So it's not telling traffic your traffic because you don't have to sit in it, it helps your flow.
SPEAKER_01Oh, look.
SPEAKER_02Does it even if it didn't help, I still do it. Yeah, 100%.
SPEAKER_01I'm just saying it is a true thing that study that does help. Now it does slow a couple of guys on this.
SPEAKER_03This is one of those things where if everybody did what you did, it's not helping the flow.
SPEAKER_01It is. That's the point. The point of what I'm saying is is every if everyone did.
SPEAKER_03If it was designated that way where you're doing a zipper merge, then yes.
SPEAKER_01But the point is What's the difference between it designated or not designated?
SPEAKER_03Because you drive up to the front and everyone fucking hates you, so they don't want to let you in. So you sit there longer than normal.
SPEAKER_01Not longer than I would have at the back of the real line.
SPEAKER_03Right. But you're still you're you're slowing down the lane that's behind you. You're you're cutting you're cutting the line.
SPEAKER_01I am I'm 100% cutting.
SPEAKER_03You're 100% cutting the line. That's for sure. Which is wrong. And you're saying you're helping. You're not helping anybody who's in the line. You're not helping anybody.
SPEAKER_01No, you're helping okay, fine. Yeah, uh the people in the line, they will have to wait a tiny bit longer because of right.
SPEAKER_03You're acting like your one car taking out of the line of traffic is is helping the long line of traffic.
SPEAKER_01No, that's not what I'm saying. I'm saying for the flow of traffic. If if half of it split off and did a zipper, it is better for the highway and for the and and it goes more efficiently than one line backed up like that. So so that overall saves time for everybody.
SPEAKER_03You're creating two lines, but but one singular line going right just waiting versus just like a guy that's someone, but but when there is only one designated exit lane, yeah, a zipper lane will never effectively emerge because you're dealing with people's ego. They're not letting you in. It's not like when there's an accident on the highway and everybody, a lane is closed, so everybody has to do that. People understand. I've the amount of exits like I do this three times a week to go to Jess's. Yeah. There's a long line for exit, and then people drive straight up to the front, and then they just sit there with their blanker, and then everybody in the good guy lane holds strong and fuck the guy in the Prius or whatever. Yeah, and we don't have Prius that's doing that. It's it's some it's it sometimes is. It's a lot of times.
SPEAKER_01It's everything. Everything does it. All sorts of cars. Right. There's all types of bad people who drive all types of cards. Look, look, I'm telling you, I'm doing it for bad reasons. Yeah. There, but it the I'm telling you, it there is a murderer going, yes, but I'm controlling the population.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_01No, it's the opposite. I'm saying, even I'm not, I'm not saying I'm doing it for a good reason. I'm not saying I'm helping that I'm trying to help the flow of traffic. My bit does work. So you're saying so a murderer.
SPEAKER_02A murderer going, I'm doing it to kill people, but also I'm controlling the population.
SPEAKER_01Kind of. I'm saying I'm doing it to kill people, because I like to kill people. Um, and it happens to control the population. It's it's not speeding up.
SPEAKER_03You're not but it's the idea of you're you have a line of traffic, and instead of you inserting yourself here, you're inserting yourself here. But when you do that, when you open up this car, the low the the line is has now it has the exact same amount of cars as it would if you went at the end.
SPEAKER_01Um I don't know how to describe it. It's kind of like it's like um it's it is like a it's like a water it's like a pipe uh with two it's like two pipes going into one pipe yeah rather than just one pipe.
SPEAKER_03Right. Well when the pipe builders when the pipe builders designed the plumbing they only wanted one pipe. They're like this is the way it's gonna be.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_03And then you're shoving your water in there.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Oh, I'm an asshole. Don't get me wrong.
SPEAKER_03If if everybody did it the way it was supposed to do, it would work. If everybody did what you're doing, it wouldn't work because there's only one lane. If there's sometimes No, if everyone did it, it'd be even better.
SPEAKER_02This is somehow more frustrating than the actual thing you're talking about.
SPEAKER_04Anyways, how do we get on this fucking weird?
SPEAKER_01How do we how do we get on this? You said because assholes that do that.
SPEAKER_03Oh, because you were you were about you were about to describe doing something very similar while driving. Uh which is uh I don't remember because it's a half hour ago.
SPEAKER_02So late, yes, turn so long that you guys did the same thing over and over again. That was so you guys give me crap for my stories. That was that.
SPEAKER_03That wasn't a story. That was just I can't I can't believe I've never met somebody who's defended that.
SPEAKER_01You've never sat in a car with me? I do that all the time.
SPEAKER_02I don't know if I've he's gonna do it. Uh they'll be in Boston.
SPEAKER_01Uh I'll do it if the line is short, shorter than the line to squeeze to cut. I I love cutting. All right.
SPEAKER_02So you're all right. That's pretty funny. That's that's finally we got somewhere. Uh anyways.
SPEAKER_01So that was awful. So I made I'm I'm sure that was that'd be the goal to listen to. That thing we just did.
SPEAKER_02I like I'm cutting it out even though you didn't say anything offensive.
SPEAKER_01Is this on repeat? Okay, so they're hitting the side of 15, 15, 15, 15.
SPEAKER_03They're still talking about it.
SPEAKER_01So, all right, left lane, people are turning left. Middle lane, you're supposed to turn right. Yeah. I go to the middle lane, I go, I'm not waiting in that line, which Taylor loves. So I cut cut it, and then there's a there's a cop standing and he goes like this with his flashlight, and he tells me to to pull over. I gotta pull over. And then uh he goes, license registration, takes my license registration, goes to the car, comes back, and then I go, by the way, I have a the this PBA card. And uh he takes a look at it, he goes to the car and comes back. He goes, If you gave it to me when you gave me the license, I I could have done it something, but I already wrote the ticket. Oh so interesting. Yeah, so that's just to tell you how he already wrote you'd be like, you could throw it out.
SPEAKER_03But that's just to tell you that uh and he gave you a ticket because you you made that turn.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Well, on that there it's illegal. I mean it's illegal on the highway too. But it's Did you tell him well?
SPEAKER_03You know, I technically if everybody did it.
SPEAKER_02So I was at uh Niagara Falls this week. This does relate to cutting. Uh-huh. I was in Niagara Falls this weekend. Uh for the people that don't know, this pertains to the story. My mom has a mess, she walks with a cane. Uh we were going to the cashier's booth at the casino, and it was we were about to be at the part of the line that has the ropes. All right. And my mom's uh I I lock arms with my mom to help stabilize her. We're about to enter where the ropes start, and I see in my peripheral uh a girl speeding up to go around us right as we're entering the line to cut us. With your mom with my mom in a visibly uh like with a cane, the whole thing, and she's about to go around us, and I look right at her and I go, Are you really gonna? And then she slowed down and and went behind us. And then the rest of the line, she was super quiet, and her boyfriend was talking the entire time to her, and she was like, Yeah, uh-huh.
SPEAKER_03Wait, what were you in line for again?
SPEAKER_02The cashier's booth at the casino to like uh give money for chips or whatever. She's just gonna cut everybody, or you just gonna cut my mom that was going too slow for her.
SPEAKER_01Wow.
SPEAKER_02Pretty awesome. But you know, her doing that is better for the line. In what way is it better for the line? And I'm not, you know what? I'm not taking your answer. I refuse your answer. Somebody spin this wheel. I spun I spun the last one.
SPEAKER_01All right, me turn. Let's hear some wheel spinning music.
unknownDoo doo doo doo doo.
SPEAKER_00Why haven't you started spinning it?
SPEAKER_01I was trying to understand the song.
SPEAKER_00Do do do does Mary had a little lamp.
SPEAKER_01Okay. All right. Shirt off, everyone.
SPEAKER_02God damn it. How long? How long? And I'm erasing it as yeah, we did shirt off. We did that one. No, we did shirt off.
SPEAKER_01All right, let's roll it. Let's spin it again.
SPEAKER_00That's funny that is pants off on there. Pants off is on there.
SPEAKER_01They're all all of them say shirt off.
SPEAKER_02Explain why cutting the line is better.
SPEAKER_01It's been baby right now.
SPEAKER_02Dude. We can't do pants off.
SPEAKER_01First of all, no one even did pants off the last time we did pants off.
SPEAKER_03You did, and then you went, Oh, I re the name of the episode is I regret doing pants off.
SPEAKER_01No, that's because, okay. Well, you guys were talking about you're afraid to see a bulge or something, and I thought that was crazy. Yeah. But then I saw uh when I was cutting it that even my bulge could be seen. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, we're sitting down in underwear.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, but I I thought I didn't know because you could literally see like a shape. Look how low this camera is.
SPEAKER_00It's it's like it's like cross shot.
SPEAKER_01I mean it looked like um it looked like a like a true like a bag of something in it. The wall like you can you can see it shift.
SPEAKER_03Like when you moved?
SPEAKER_01Uh when I yeah. Because I I went to take off my pants and I came and sat down, and you could see um a shape move.
SPEAKER_00You could see a shape move.
SPEAKER_01Alright, come on. All right. Let's just spin it with the two blanks. If it's either of these blank? If either of these two? Yeah. Uh you two have to kiss. Okay. Alright, spinning the wheel. Spinning the wheel. Which where collar will it land on? It's spinning uh spin to kiss.
SPEAKER_02Wait, kiss is already on here. What? Kiss is already on this.
SPEAKER_01And what does that mean, spin to kiss? So now that this has been selected, okay, there are uh three colors on here. Okay. We pick our colors. You pick your color. So uh the first spin is the first person who was kissing, and the second spin was the person getting kissed. Can it be cheeks? There's actually four yellow uh four four colors, okay? If it's the fourth color, we all got to kiss.
SPEAKER_02You really wanted to kiss us today. You had said it before it even landed on it.
SPEAKER_03I never thought I'd miss sexually uncomfortable ad reads.
SPEAKER_01Uh see? Always be grateful for what you have. You don't know what you got till it's gone.
SPEAKER_03Is there a PBA card for this wheel? Oh man.
SPEAKER_01So get out of this. You guys want to claim any colors before we I'll be blue. You'll be blue. I'll be green. I'll be red. And yellow is everybody kissing.
SPEAKER_02All right. So explain give me an example. Don't spin it. Give me an example. So if I spin it, oh, if we spin it and it lands on blue, I'm one of the kissers. Yeah. And then the second spin is if it lands on red, you and I are kissed. What if it's uh two of the same color? Huh? Then we're oh, that's a great question.
SPEAKER_01Then we're safe. That's great. If it's two of the same color, then it moves to the next person. We gotta spin. Okay. Yes, I'll take this. I'll take this. I like that. I like that. All right. Well, why don't you spin uh let's let the fate of this start with you? All right. Uh what are you green? I'm red. You're you're whatever. What color? Blue.
SPEAKER_02Yes! Alright.
SPEAKER_01So I spin again? Yeah. Please green. And if it's yellow, you get to pick who to kick us. I hate this. Please green. Please green. Blue. Please green. Blue. Yes. This worked out better than I could ever imagine.
SPEAKER_02No, we have to spend the day together tomorrow. We can't do this. Yes, you can. No. Come on. I don't want to. We're not kissing on the lips.
SPEAKER_01Alright, fine. Don't don't go with the spirit of the game then. Alright, kiss each other on the uh on the cheek. I don't want it right here in the middle again.
SPEAKER_03Wait, we both have to kiss each other on the cheek?
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Or one kiss on the lips.
SPEAKER_03I hate this so much.
SPEAKER_02Alright, so wait. One kiss per guy on the cheek. This isn't fair. It literally so fair. Wait, so I kiss him on the cheek and then he kisses me on the cheek.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. I like how I know you will already fully understand.
SPEAKER_03Wait, so what you're saying is how much time do we have? So what you're saying, you being Peter Wong. Because he's green. It's like what you're saying is because the first color that we spun was blue. I'm getting rid of that. And then the second color that we spun was green, which corresponds to the colors that we chose.
SPEAKER_01Alright, boys. Let's just make it quick. Have at it.
SPEAKER_03Alright.
SPEAKER_02Ah, I gotta just spend the day. We're gonna have an awkward drive. I'm gonna piss you on the cheek.
SPEAKER_03That doesn't bother me.
SPEAKER_01But you've got damn stubble all over. Pretend you're Italian.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I it is more like kissing a guy. Are we doing it? You know what? I'm not saying it.
SPEAKER_02You know what? I'm not saying it.
SPEAKER_01Make sure you're in frame. So you want to get about it. Yeah. There we go. Yes.
SPEAKER_03Get in here.
SPEAKER_00Yes.
SPEAKER_03That's good, clean, fun. That might be my favorite wheel spin. Cheek is fine. Cheek is fine. Yeah. Cheek is fine. You drop your water. I can't kiss a guy on the lips.
SPEAKER_01Have you ever, never? Again. Again? Oh. Have you done it for like a play? Have I done it for a Peter wants to know because he's writing a play for the wheel.
SPEAKER_03And are you available for these dates? I don't think I've done it for a play. No.
SPEAKER_01Leave it there. No. And have you ever kissed a guy on the lips?
SPEAKER_02Uh family.
SPEAKER_01Oh. Like an uncle?
SPEAKER_02Definitely my dad when I was a kid. Yeah, my dad.
SPEAKER_01Oh, really? Yeah. That I've never done.
SPEAKER_02I can understand that. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. My mom once.
SPEAKER_02Let me say, your mom. And then she went, shut up.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, one time she came home.
SPEAKER_00And uh why is that part of the story?
SPEAKER_02This my feelings after the kiss are a lot like when you got pulled over if I but I didn't get to use a PBS. You got a ticket. I got the ticket.
SPEAKER_01Wait, so yeah, tell exp tell me how this feels right now. Like what's what's going through?
SPEAKER_02I'm immediately thinking about there will be a lull at some point in the drive tomorrow. And we'll both be thinking about it.
SPEAKER_00You think so?
SPEAKER_03No, I won't I won't I won't be thinking about it. You'll bury it deep. Uh kissing kissing a guy on the cheek that doesn't uh that won't yeah. But you mine are smooth.
SPEAKER_01Oh, so if it bot because you you can't pretend that's a woman. No. Right. But he you think he pretended you're a woman while he did that.
SPEAKER_03I think my eyes were open. I didn't I didn't go to another place. I was with you. I'm going to one now.
SPEAKER_01I've I've seen um Taylor like uh at a hotel. He'll be stretching wearing a little tank top and you can see his muscles. You know? Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Are you sure you didn't want red to land on green?
SPEAKER_01That'd be that'd be Christmas.
SPEAKER_03Um it made you think of a a woman?
SPEAKER_02He's sexualizing it. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Well, like uh yeah, because sometimes he'll like do a split basically, the way he's on the ground.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, sometimes you come out of the bathroom and he's on all fours. Looking back.
SPEAKER_01Um so yeah, uh I um but I mean, but you that would bother you a lot. You having to kiss him on the cheese.
SPEAKER_02No, I just uh I mean, yeah, I had to kiss someone for your entertainment. That's the part that's really tough to swap.
SPEAKER_01That's the part that's not that I get to watch and say yes.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, it's it's like and tell us where to go. Yeah. Really, it's whoever isn't getting getting kissed or kissing, it's the best episode for them. It's amazing.
SPEAKER_03I'll tell you having the wheel come up green was a worse feeling than kissing you, actually. The feeling of it having it come up your color is just like I agree, I agree. It's like getting selected for the hunger game. And it's funny when I yeah.
SPEAKER_04Where you're like, How?
SPEAKER_02Except no one volunteered. Oh man, that's great. Peter goes, I volunteer as true beers.
SPEAKER_01Let me jump in. Oh man. Oh, that was uh that was great. Um, but yeah, I've uh and I I did for a uh play. I kissed uh I kissed a guy. Um it was for a play called Almost Main. No, no, it was a play called uh Psycho Beach Party. So it's like a spoof on like uh uh old murder beach scary movies, whatever. And then um I mean this uh other surfer guy uh we uh fall into like uh liking each other, and then towards the end we kiss in front of everyone. I like that. And that wasn't a big deal, you know. I think on a play it's like whatever.
SPEAKER_03I mean I ran around on stage in front of everybody with my dick out like in the play. You know, I think that's close because there were a bunch of guys around.
SPEAKER_01I don't think that's close. I think kissing a guy is a big leap from being naked in the street.
SPEAKER_03I mean, I'm jumping in fr like in their area. I'm actually with Peter on this.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, there's still a a leap, no pun intended, to get to Was it like a that kind of kiss or was it It was a kiss on the mouth. Was it uh a long kiss? So both of us start on our knees and we kiss, and we slowly rise and stay. While kissing. While kissing. So it's like kind of comedian.
SPEAKER_03Did you like pull him in?
SPEAKER_01No. Although I'll tell you this one time, um my friend Adam, uh, he's uh he was he's gay, right? And uh we were walking in the city that night.
SPEAKER_02Why is it why is your voice getting a lot quieter? Uh because he's about to say a secret into a microphone that I'm gonna cut into a clip.
SPEAKER_01So somehow the conversation got to uh how good uh I am at making out, or my buddy Gabe is making out two straight guys, you know? And Adam's like, well, I don't buy it, yeah. Prove it. Yeah, and then uh we knew what the deal was, you know, but we also thought, well, with theater kids, we're kind of also like we're like we're almost competitively showing how comfortable we are with our sexuality, of like, yeah, well, we we'll do it and whatever. So then both of us uh did like a five-second makeout with him. How was that?
SPEAKER_02Why did you look at me so long?
SPEAKER_03So you made out with this guy for five seconds to prove how not gay you are?
SPEAKER_01No, to show how to show who's the better kisser. Who's a better kisser? But the sub a sub thing was are are we gonna be able to overcome this world?
SPEAKER_03So you gave him your best. Yeah. Who uh who won?
SPEAKER_01I think I won. Nice. You know, and the prize.
SPEAKER_03No way. You think he'd bring up this story if he came in second?
SPEAKER_02With him, he already feels like he's won. He didn't get a ticket, he got to watch us kiss. Yeah, he's having a great day.
SPEAKER_01You get to find out if you spin the wheel right.
SPEAKER_02Well, this actually brings to the thing I wanted to bring up last episode. Oh. Yes, this kind of all ties in. Uh we went to uh Taylor was nice enough to take me to Benny's first oncology appointment. It does tie in. Okay. It does. Uh we were before dropping me off. I want to thank you. Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_03In my own way.
SPEAKER_02Benny was like, I bet you're not a good kisser.
SPEAKER_03No way.
SPEAKER_02The oncologist was like, you know, I'll take $500 or I'll kiss if it saves $500.
SPEAKER_01Here's my makeup.
SPEAKER_02I'll definitely make out if it saves me $500. Yeah. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01The price tag used to be so much higher, but in my 30s, man.
SPEAKER_02Well, what if yeah. Yeah, yeah. I think I'm with you. If it saves me 500 bucks, would you make it out with the cop to get out of that ticket?
SPEAKER_01Five points? Yes. I do more. What if it was seven points? And I just oh, would I do more? Yeah, I would. We'll see. So okay. So good old Taylor Yarish. Uh, you needed a ride uh with your cat to the oncologist.
SPEAKER_02Yes, it's in uh it's like in uh flat iron area. Uh-huh. Uh so Taylor takes me uh and uh we go into the I I I'm vulnerable with Taylor, and I'm like, please come into the room with me. Uh I need I was like, I'm gonna Why is you're staying you're doing a staring.
SPEAKER_01No, but hold on. He went you know that that works. Okay. Yes, I was staring, but his face was already set after you said vulnerable. His face was already like this.
SPEAKER_02That's how he listens.
SPEAKER_01Did you ever watch him listen? You know you this is how he listens, okay? If he's truly listening.
SPEAKER_03I can't see what you're doing. Yeah, okay.
SPEAKER_01This time it was like this. Let me see.
SPEAKER_02I don't see the difference.
SPEAKER_03It looked like you were locking it, but then I saw you look at me. Oh, that's you. So now I'm looking at you, and yeah, my face will change.
SPEAKER_02Which I've been doing that tr trick lately of uh when something happens, I'll You're giving me the Elon Musk.
SPEAKER_00So funny. Uh okay.
SPEAKER_02All right. So uh vulnerable let led you into Yeah, I wish the traffic thing was broken up as much as the story is, but uh so uh we're at the appointment and we're in the room and the first the nurse comes in and she I forget what the nurse said but she gives the vibe of we're dads of the cat and uh I go oh no he's Uncle Taylor uh and then blah blah blah then the vet comes in you uh you she was asking us questions and kind of referencing both of us and you said uh he's you know uh oh yeah because you helped out yeah some of the questions went to Taylor yeah you were like I'll be answering the questions yes and I was like oh yeah I just kind of covering it so she didn't put him on the spot basically right uh but then the vet comes in and the vet's going uh so the chemo uh we can do that today if you want to do chemo today uh uh and I'll uh I'll look at that that's Steven and your your Taylor she's like we could do the chemo today you know it'll be uh it won't be too traumatic and uh we won't hold him down or anything and he'll be alright so everything will be normal when he comes home to his dad's and and uh in and keeps talking uh huh so no and in that moment I I was like hey I didn't like stop her that's nice but I could feel he and I wanted to look at each other and uh but then I go well he's my brother yeah because because let me let me just say I was like if I need her to know I'm in charge here uh but I can't go well he's just my friend uh because then I'm gay that sounds gayer he's just my special friend that came with me yeah yeah he's my brother what's his last name great point so Steven and Taylor Rogers right yeah but now he's kid he's coming with me tomorrow now he's my brother your brother's really invested in this cat and she goes did you two kiss yesterday and you feel vibes there's something going on in here and someone kiss I started watching your uh podcast you kissed your brother and uh I was I don't know when I thought this but I was like well Taylor isn't always gonna be there's a chance Taylor isn't always the one that comes with me to these appointments there's a chance Peter comes with me at some point and then I'm gonna have to be like this is also my brother brother don't tell my first brother about this other brother yeah but I was proud that I wasn't like it didn't bother me at all I'm like oh that's nice when I go I'm gonna have a gay voice I I tell you when when she said that she said the dad's line and then she's like you know want him to have good quality time at home with the family and oh that's right and uh you know it's just this woman was so comforting awesome such good bedside manner but yeah really landed on and I uh instinctually felt like I I need to I need to slip into the character that's been assigned you know as you do as you do I'm a I'm a nut in that way where like I'm like alright and we're gay now and thank god he didn't know this before the wheel was spun yeah how in character are you so did you put on an affectation or like no we didn't no I didn't put on an affectation because they're just like us this is well done this is him uh when as soon as he heard uh uh being home with the family uh I I sat how I've been sitting this whole episode oh man there was something I thought of and I forgot that pertained to the story so a little like a a little bit of uh levity in a dark time to have you yeah it immediately is being talked about on stage yeah uh because it was it was just and yes I I brought it up in therapy and my therapist was like it basically what you just said that's nice that there was a moment of uh humor that you were able to spot in a very tough day and I was like oh yeah like that was that was my medicine for the for the day of like we get to riff about that on the drive back oh this is the thing I was gonna say so as soon as the vet leaves the room I start to get emotional and I start to cry and I now have the answer to what both of you will do when I cry and Taylor well you want to guess what Taylor does well before you asked that question I thought he'd be really comforting and hug you.
SPEAKER_01Right okay um Steve you need anything get you a water sure but the fact that you're asking tells me there's a different answer to that question.
SPEAKER_03I start to cry and he goes there's more to this there's more to this I wasn't sure because you I crushed it then in comparison I was like Peter's better oh boy I wasn't no I'll I'll be honest I felt I was a little uncomfortable because you started to get emotional and you went you can go you did say that you said you can go if you you know you don't have to be here so I didn't know if you wanted I was doing what a girlfriend does that was a sign for you to excuse me for not picking up on that excuse me for not treating you like that you have no training in this you should have I mean yeah clearly this is the role you were assigned so ha ha I broke up with him I took that as like you're trying to you're trying to be uh talking I was failing you're I was failing in front of you failing you were through that whole uh speech that the the uh oncologist was giving you you were getting emotional and you're like okay you're I could see you taking in the information and trying to be strong and even when you started to get emotional you wanting to leave so I was like I don't know if I want to then go over because if you would have been like no I'm fine I'm fine I didn't know I have never seen you like that so I didn't know what you needed not everybody responds to that sure so because you were trying to be like you know tough and stuff I was like all right so I how all right I want you to get into pretend to be crying I'm gonna do what Taylor did.
SPEAKER_01I can get there right now if we want I'm gonna do what Taylor did and then you tell you show me how you responded at that moment when he did that do you remember?
SPEAKER_02I don't remember do you you didn't really I at that moment I clocked I just clocked and I'm like we're gonna talk about this later. That's funny I'm gonna think about that later.
SPEAKER_01Alright so how about this get into crying mode and then do what you what you should be doing what he wants no you already no you already got a kiss this is not a kiss done this is a this is a hug there the thing is there is no you both need to do well I'm just saying you both hug you hug you hug the person now that you know that he doesn't want to be left alone what is it that you're so what would you I would have yeah if I knew that I would have gone over and I would have given you a hug it's gonna be alright. Both arms okay let's see it all right so so get into no I'll do it tomorrow. You probably will have to do it tomorrow some people don't like that you don't get two helpings of this meal getting greedy this was not my this was no fate that's the fate of the God this is the best day oh no don't get me wrong I've been also I got a gift but this this is me asking this was a gift from fate this is me asking for a different for a I've seen you emotional in other places and I did comfort you this is a new but that was a joy cry. What happened did you have a a delicious deep dish pizza?
SPEAKER_02Oh I was thinking of London no no oh you're thinking of when I was uh left and horribly hurt yeah but this is like I was there for that one you know your your cat is dying it's like I don't go ahead continue this we're in a doctor's office you're you're you're try I could see you trying to be strong I didn't didn't know what you needed in that in that moment I was there you said you can go I didn't go no I know I'm I'm not upset if I was like yeah yeah good all right like I'm not upset with you uh it is for the fodder for the pod I just think it is I I you know that I'm indebted and you actually have a present c uh tomorrow uh but uh so it's I'm really not upset but I think it's funny that uh well two of the closest people in in my life I've cried in front of them and it's been a very man uh response yeah although comparatively sounds like I was more tender you know yeah so I mean how how so it made you did it make you feel I thought this would be funny and now I think it's great I think this is very good to get out in the open.
SPEAKER_03Because you're winning how did you how did you feel after he kind of just gave you a bump on the I knew that it was uh I'm here for you I I knew that I think it sounds like he was more tender and it sounds like in the future when you really want comfort and emotion and understanding and someone to just really be there in that emotion that's the guy to go to okay you see now now that's the guy to go to turning into aggression this is passive aggressive and we're going the wrong direction because you're no longer in front so tell me how you how did it feel after he said that you you didn't do all the things he's putting us against each other I just want to hear I just want to hear the feelings I just want to hear the feelings how did it feel because you felt like you were there uh at at first uh surprise I could totally see where he's kind of because I did do I did like you know do that um but you were there yeah I was there I don't feel like I was not being there as a friend and I actually don't feel like he thinks he's just commenting and like oh wow that's funny that yes I'm crying and I get you feel betrayed you two have kissed and now he's saying this about you someone you've shared a cheek with shared a sharing a cheek is the title don't worry if it's funny you had a PBA but we had a PDA is that the laugh dang it that's not the laugh to end on oh no yeah we still got uh three whole minutes and it's gonna go like this it's gonna grind to a halt uh I actually when he said share a cheek I thought he said share a chick we haven't oh you have but we're not we don't have to say the person I remember now but I didn't think you would put me in this situation um and me and you kinda no well not really so uh also uh doing something with the same person is not the same as sharing it's pleasing what else would you call it if we've been to the same rest stop yeah different trips if we're sharing a sandwich it's at the same you know all right not my favorite metaphor resta stop I'm cutting that out if we've both been to the same restaurant before we didn't share a restaurant restaurant i i that's what i said you so you both have tried the same restaurant yes you've both uh yeah we've both been on a wonderful trip but we took uh the trip yeah beautiful wonderful trip at different times yeah to the restaurant so you both got to go what are you doing I didn't say all this yeah but you you knew you lit the you lit the fuse you led the horse to water um well yeah you led the horse to water and we're drowning um I yeah I think one it'd be cool if one day it it's too late now but it would have been cool if all three uh had uh sampled the same it's not too late we are all still alive nothing's gay if uh August 7th and 8th August 7th and 8th um you do it this time uh Peter and I are gonna share a cheek up in Boston uh uh hideout comedy I found out I'm gonna be really close to you guys that day oh yeah where I'm gonna be in Portland Maine Whoa okay hey maybe come uh because we'll go early Friday to uh play Blood on Clock Tower yes and maybe maybe even Saturday night um so yeah cat catch us uh we'll both be headlining Taylor's headlining Friday I'm headlining Saturday August 7th and A uh tickets are on sale now date uh for my special coming soon uh should I guess he doesn't know it can guess it's see if it's right yeah I'm gonna say September 28th I'm gonna say September 10th well when I know it I'll let you know who's right and you said September 10th okay I know why you're saying that but I don't think I'm gonna because it's a day before my favorite day.
SPEAKER_02Okay's birthday is the not that day it's not your birthday September 11th September 10th is your birthday. Yeah September 11th is a different birthday I don't know anyone's birthday that day well so we're gonna uh be up there birthday of the terrorists okay uh so we'll be at hideout um I think it's gonna be a good time it's gonna be a great time uh Steven Rogers what do you have to plug my ears I uh I'm gonna be in Austin Texas Texas uh August 19th and 20th and Peter Wong will be there and then I'm recording my next special special February 27th and that is on a Saturday uh come out it's at Greenpoint Comedy Club and uh yeah it'll be a lot of fun two shows and uh yeah uh and then Steven Rogers comedy for all the other shows have a good day