Aunt Steve Unpacks Miles of Memories

Join Aunt Steve on a heartwarming journey as she shares reflections from the road with her niece, Charlotte, who is off at summer camp. In this special episode of Middle School Miles, Aunt Steve recounts the miles traveled, laughter shared, and life lessons learned alongside a curious and independent 14-year-old. Discover the touching moments, surprising realizations, and the unparalleled privilege of watching Charlotte grow into the person she's becoming. Tune in for a thoughtful exploration of love, curiosity, and the beauty of life's adventures.

Transcript

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Charlotte is off at summer camp this week, so I thought I'd do something a little bit different. I'm Aunt Steve, Charlotte's co-host for the Middle School Miles Podcast. Instead of interviewing her, I thought I'd answer some of the questions I've been asking myself over the past few months. We've driven thousands of miles together, we've laughed a lot, we've eaten way too many baked goods and ice cream, and somewhere between all those miles, I realized I've been learning just as much as she has. So, first question I want to ask myself is when we started this trip, what did I think it was going to be like? With her in online school, and our experiences based around and supporting her curriculum, I thought being the tutor and quote-unquote school administrator or teacher would be harder, more strenuous, more time consuming than it has been. She has really shown a love for learning and for her online curriculum and for the experiences that we've had along the way. So that's made that part much easier. And I'm grateful for that. Even though I'm still here as a support system and still here as a mentor and tutor as she needs it, she's really outperformed my expectations in that regard. So what surprised me most about traveling with a 14-year-old is particularly traveling with a 14-year-old girl, and all of the things that I've learned about what 14-year-old girls go through way more than I ever expected to learn. But it also helped me realize that she wasn't just along for the ride. She's family. She's somebody I love and care about and whose curiosity inspires me. And that really has been um a great realization that it's not just the summer trip. She's she's learning and living the experience. So there are a few moments that really stand out when I have been most proud of her. Not because she got the right answers to a question or she did really well in a quiz, but because of who she's becoming. She has asked some really thoughtful questions. She's tried new and different and difficult things. She's made new friends. She's handled both celebration and disappointment well. She's shown kindness to others in in a way that r is genuine and authentic and just kind. And of course, she is becoming more independent. And while becoming more independent, she is also listening in and learning from the cues and conversations that we have to help her find her own way. And I say conversations we have, meaning both Charlotte and I, and Charlotte and her mother, my sister is so, and they talk daily, so that's that's been pretty uh pretty impressive to watch and it made me really quite proud. If I were to stop and think about the moment when I said to myself, geez, she's really growing up. It had to be recently. You know, we were driving down the highway and spotted some unhoused people in tents along the side of the road, and and just the level of concern and empathy and care that she demonstrated for people in that situation really stood out to me as somebody who is understanding the world around her and trying to grapple with the systems of inequality that we have and how in her mind we are all equal and we are all deserving of basic human necessity. And to see that contrast in her thought and in her words and actions really stood out to me as something really quite special. There were a few conversations along the way that really surprised me. You know, when we were at the Civil Rights Museum and we got to talk about and learn about Martin Luther King and the whole civil rights movement, when we stayed on an indigenous reservation, and we got to learn from people who are true stewards of the land and uh stewards of their culture and their community, visiting with friends and exploring and hiking at the hoodoos outside of Santa Fe or Yellowstone or or Glacier National Park, seeing her curiosity when we were at Colonial Williamsburg. Again, those talks about equality and the fact that she's comfortable asking difficult questions, those things have I say surprised me, but more so reassured me that she's a good person. Not just a good kid, but becoming a good person, and that's been really refreshing to watch. Some things I'll never forget about this adventure, watching her climb atop the oversized Tillamook ice cream container for a photo, and her seeing her at a beach, any beach, and she walks right up to the surf, toes tickling the water, and for the time that she is there, she is completely engrossed in the moment, and it's that value in the moment that we're in, in now, in time and place, that is something that I hope more adults have the opportunity to experience. Um, you know, her response to being inside a cave, a massive cave, mammoth cave. Um and the follow-ups and references to that cave experience since then have been about the sketchy cave. And that's just that's just funny. Matcha, you know, matcha has become more than a drink or beverage, it has become a personality trait of hers. Iced without milk. Not hot, not regular milk, iced without milk. And of course, all the laughs that we've had about being Big Backs and you know, our shared love for good quality food, fresh ingredients, local favorites whenever we can get them. Uh, that it's been great. Something that made me laugh the hardest, though, happened in the middle of the night. I had dozed off, and I have a double twin sleep number bed, so I sleep on one half of it, usually surrounded by pillows. And she climbed into the other side of the bed, I guess, not wanting to sleep on the couch, and you know, she brought her own pillows and blankets and all that good stuff. So we spent an hour and a half cracking up and cackling at each other. A part of it was my sleep deprivation, but there was definitely moments where I would play a song with a catchy chorus, and the two of us would just start cracking up. She was showing me on her iPad a game that she'd been playing with where she designed a house, and I just rattled off my unadulterated thoughts on her design and how much clutter there was on the counters, and you know, it really was a demonstration not only of my aversion to clutter, but her embracing it and us laughing through it was really, really fun and really memorable, and it definitely made me laugh. It still makes me laugh. I think we repeated that at least once one other time. So I also learned a lot about education, not just because I I work in the education space, but because this hasn't been just online school for her. It's been about learning about people and place and culture and art and nature and the national park systems and the values that we share as people, as family, as community, as as as you know residents of this country that we're in. So that has been really, really eye-opening. It's also been eye-opening too and refreshing to see that you know the way that the classes that she has that are laid out and online, the way that they roll and the way that they run, support some of the things that we do and work in the adult learning space. So I learned a bit about parenting, even though I'm I'm not her parent, I am her grateful aunt, Steve. Again, those things that a 14-year-old goes through, a 14-year-old girl, particularly, and you know, helping her, or just listening to her navigate through that, listening to her navigate through relationships and friendships, and some of the ups and downs that she's had, and that not being present in a physical school every day for the people that you sit with at lunch, and the efforts that she's made to keep in touch with the friends that she has, whether that be through FaceTime and gameplay and you know, phone calls and whatnot, that's really been interesting. I've learned too about slowing down, you know, and I think back to again her standing at the beach and just being present in that moment, and it's a reminder to me to also be present more often, to be available for the here and now, today's conversation and feelings and emotion and learning. That's been really important. But she's taught me a few things along the way, definitely has helped reinforce my personal growth in empathy and in understanding and in sometimes patience, and also my commitment to the values that I hold dear and important. She has reminded me of all of those things and taught me more about how to be the kind of person that I want to be. Now, I'm gonna be picking her up from Sleepaway Camp in just a little while, but if she were sitting with me here right now, I would thank her for asking questions. I would thank her for making me laugh, for putting up with my terrible dad jokes, for reminding me that every bakery deserves a fair chance, and for seeing the wonder in places that I'd only driven through or breathed past and before. So what do I hope she remembers from this trip 10 years from now? It's not the facts that she's learning in school, it's not the placard that she read in the museum, it's not the homework, it's that she's loved and that she is safe, and that curiosity matters and kindness matters, and that the world is much bigger than our individual hometown. So, if we look ahead, where do I hope this road leads her? It's not a geographic journey, it's a journey about her becoming a person and her identifying the kind of person that she wants to be and following her heart in that way. You know, not just you know, what do you want to be when you grow up, but who do you want to be? And what makes you happiest? And I've said to her before: when an adult asks you, what do you want to be when you grow up, the answer is happy. You know, it everything else is figure-outable. So one day, Charlotte, you'll probably be embarrassed by some of these episodes. You may roll your eyes at your 14-year-old self, and someday I hope you come back and listen to it again. Because these aren't really recordings of road trips, but they're recordings of you becoming and getting to watch you become the person that you are turning into. And that's been one of the greatest privileges of my life. So I love you, kiddo, and I'll see you in a couple hours when I pick you up from Sleepaway Camp. Have a great time, everybody, and thank you for listening to this episode of Middle School Miles.