Episode 27

Episode 27: Back in the Studio & Back on Our Sisterly Nonsense 

 Your favorite duo, Tiff & Aunge, are officially back in the studio and back on their sisterly business after a whirlwind trip to San Antonio, TX. Yes, we loved the food. Yes, we loved the cousins. And yes… we halfway loved the viral cousin debates that tried to take us out. But we’re home, hydrated, and ready to talk about the chaos happening in the world.

 We kick things off with a What the Florida? that left our jaws on the floor. A US Secret Service Agent and two other men charged with attempted manslaughter during a hazing incident, and the gag is… they weren’t even active, paid members of the fraternity. Imagine risking your entire livelihood for a “club” you’re not even officially in. Couldn’t be us.

 Then we take you Around the Social Media World where the internet is internetting:

·        Tuskegee University said “No pajamas, no bonnets, no durags – not today, not ever” with their new dress code policy.

·        Usher got curved mid-serenade and the girl said it’s because she has “pretty privilege.” We unpack that whole situation with our signature blend of humor and side-eye.

·        Married at First Sight continues to give us couples who are clearly here for the camera time, not the covenant. We discuss the three couples who are absolutely not making it past the reunion special.

 Next up: Self-Care Corner. Tracee Ellis Ross dropped gems on Keke Palmer’s podcast about aging gracefully and caring for yourself. Naturally, we had to share our Top 5 self-care practices. You know, the ones that keep us sane, glowing, and unbothered.

 We close with a heartfelt Sister Salute to Beyond the Gates for their incredible 15 Daytime Emmy nominations. Excellence on screen, excellence behind the scenes, excellence all around.

 This episode is funny, insightful, chaotic in the best way, and full of the sisterly energy you come here for. Tune in now, and stay until the end, because the last five minutes might just be the most unhinged, hilarious, and unexpectedly wholesome part of the entire episode.

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:00

Hello, sister. Hello, sister. Welcome to Hello Sister Podcast with Tiffan Ange, episode 27. It's good to be back. It is. Yeah. Yeah. Traveling was fun, but it's nice to be back home and settled in the studio. Absolutely. Yeah. Well, I definitely have to give a family shout out. Absolutely. So appreciate them taking the time to just uh have a little fun with us, share some family shenanigans, and of course we love spending time with them. So absolutely. I can't wait till the next one. Yeah, me too. Yeah. Actually, I can wait because the topics were great, the discussion was great, the comments are giving me too much grief. I mean, I don't understand the comments.

SPEAKER_01 0:45

Well, I I tried to stop reading them.

SPEAKER_02 0:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 0:49

Because at some point, you know, they they're not I don't know what the word is, like I don't know. Constructive.

SPEAKER_02 0:57

Yeah, they're definitely not constructive anymore. Well, what is constructive is episode 27. Yeah, so let's get to it. Yeah, so we'll kick off with the What the Florida. Of course, we have around the social media world, and then a couple topics, and then we will end in our sister salute. You ready to do this thing?

SPEAKER_01 1:15

Let's do this.

SPEAKER_02 1:16

All right.

SPEAKER_01 1:17

What the Florida. All right. This one hurt my heart. Oh. Yeah. So I'm gonna read this so you can hear it the way that I read it. Because this is not good. No, let's do it. Yeah. A U.S. Secret Service agent and two other men were arrested and charged with felonies for a brutal fraternity hazing incident in the Miami area that left two pledges hospitalized with near fatal injuries. The victims were two men, including a University of Miami graduate student, suffered severe beatings with canes and paddles after failing to correctly answer questions about the fraternity history. One victim suffered kidney damage and required skin grass on his backside after having been beaten to the point where he bled through his underwear and pants. The second victim required intubation and critical care to prevent death. The men were charged with manslaughter with a deadly weapon, and the Secret Service agent has been put on administrative leave pending the investigation.

SPEAKER_02 2:26

So he got his letters and he's gonna lose his whole job in life? I don't understand it.

SPEAKER_01 2:34

I mean I don't understand it. And I never pledge, so I know that it is something that's important to a lot of people. But what I don't get is the physical pain part of it. Whatever the process is. But when you start bleeding, don't you say, sir, I'm out. Like they don't have no problem beating you. Why are you allowing yourself to get beat? I don't want them letters that bad.

SPEAKER_02 3:02

Yeah. I mean, I obviously have perspective as a fellow Greek. What I did in college, I wouldn't do today. Let's just say that. And also as someone who has something to lose, yeah, you have to think about that as well. And so, you know, first let me also say that all of our Divine Nine are non-hazing organizations. Oh, okay. Put that disclaimer out there. Okay. I heard you. But if things did happen, you know, speaking for a friend, you know what? You still have to have morals and limits, and you know, there's certain things that can go too far. And so as a grown person in an alumni situation, like it just sounds crazy to me that this is happening. Granted, 25 years ago for me, yeah, but I I wouldn't do what I did 25 years ago. And I also in this world, people are different as well.

SPEAKER_00 3:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 3:59

And so you're built differently in 2025 that I I probably or six, I probably, you know, wouldn't do some of those things that could get my life taken away from me.

SPEAKER_01 4:11

Right. Well, they said that this happened all night. Like they were they were doing all of these activities all night.

unknown 4:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 4:21

I mean, again, it's it it is a level of desire that some people have, that they're willing to almost do anything for what they want. This just happens to be Greeks, but you know, it could be anything. People will stretch themselves further than they think that they should, or or what's reasonable when you really want something. That's even in marriage. Think about what people deal with in marriage.

SPEAKER_00 4:46

That's true.

SPEAKER_02 4:47

And we will take way more than we should because it's something that we desire. That's no different than than this. And I know it sounds crazy, but it happens every day.

SPEAKER_01 4:56

So that's really so sad. No, it is. I when I read that one of them required intubation to prevent Yeah, that's crazy.

SPEAKER_02 5:04

That's crazy. You should never want anything that bad.

SPEAKER_01 5:07

But and and you're the person who inflicted this on them. Like you have to have consequences.

SPEAKER_02 5:11

Well, they do, because wasn't the consequence uh manslaughter with a deadly weapon. Yeah, I mean that that can come with serious charge.

SPEAKER_01 5:19

Or attempted attempted manslaughter.

SPEAKER_02 5:21

That can come with a serious charge. So I mean, this what the Florida happens in more places than Florida, it just happens to be happening right now, and in the South Florida area, it's all over the news. So it's it's very unfortunate. These are undergrads. I think that's the other thing that's crazy to me. Like, you're a grown man.

SPEAKER_00 5:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 5:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 5:41

Yeah. What the Florida. What the Florida. Yeah. Well, let's move on to something a little bit more jovial. Okay. Let's get around the social media world.

SPEAKER_02 5:53

Yeah. So since we were on the college realm, won't you tell us a little bit about what's going on at Tuskegee?

SPEAKER_01 5:58

Okay. So our cousin Michael sent me an article talking about Tuskegee University requiring a dress code. So no bonnets, no pajamas. You actually have to get dressed to come to class now.

SPEAKER_02 6:14

And social um areas too.

SPEAKER_01 6:17

So I how do you feel about a university dress code?

SPEAKER_02 6:22

So I know that we're probably gonna differ on this, but I do not think you should walk out the house whether you are five or twenty five in your pajamas. I just think it's crazy. And and and put it to me because I'm in HR or wasn't HR, that there are dress code policies. You show up a certain way, you present a certain way. And as a black woman, we are already judged immediately. No matter what people say, we have a hard time in life. We're judged by men, we're judged by other women, we're judged by our own women. And so you aren't showing up looking your best if you come out in your pajamas and a du-rag or a bonnet. A bonnet is for the house. Don't get me wrong, I may wear my bonnet all day in the house. Yeah, but it comes off the minute I get in a car, the minute I walk out my home, the minute I do anything. I am very conscious about how I show up, but more importantly, I want to look good. Yeah. And that's meant to help me to look good when I walk out the house.

SPEAKER_01 7:33

And I personally feel the same way. That I I personally would not walk out the house with my bonnet on. I will personally make sure that I show up looking appropriately everywhere that I go. I may run to the store in some leggings, but I don't present to the world in pajamas. However, it doesn't bother me when other people do it. I personally wouldn't do it. I think it looks ridiculous sometimes in certain situations. But if you're about to go on a long flight, you're about to be on there for 14 hours and it's an overnight start, I don't have a problem with you being in your bonnet as long as you uh dress appropriately at your destination. Don't be in France with your bonnet on. But as long as you are uh comfortable, do do what you do.

SPEAKER_02 8:27

I personally hate it, but I bonded by it. I hate it when I see a five-year-old. I was asked you see, that's too far. No, when we were traveling back from Texas, there was a family, and they had maybe three kids. They were all in yellow Pokemon matching set pajamas, and it was like four o'clock in the afternoon. They had a little crocs and their little headphones. And at first I was like, oh, that's cute. And then I was like, that's not cute. It takes two seconds to put on some pants and a shirt. It does not take two seconds for children. If you okay, let me take that back. It probably doesn't take two seconds to do that, but you got to put them on something. So why not put them on something that they can wear throughout the day? I get it. You hassle, you have hassle with your kids. Some people think it's cute. They were all matched, um, walking around with their little tight Pokemon pants on. But you start the standard for how you show up for the rest of your life. And if they think it's okay, I think there were maybe one of them was probably three, one of them was probably five, the other one was probably like eight or nine. And they had little match and set on. A nine-year-old walking through the airport and it's four o'clock in the afternoon.

SPEAKER_01 9:33

Yeah, come on. Their day probably started at four o'clock in the morning, and to try to wake children up and get them dressed and in the car and to the airport and through security and to their gate and to the plane. It is a hassle to travel with children. And if I can eliminate one thing that and not have to fight them about getting dressed, I can roll them out of bed and throw them in the car. I'm happy. Now, were the parents in their Pokemon too?

SPEAKER_02 10:02

No, the parents were dressed appropriately.

SPEAKER_01 10:04

Okay, so that sounds like they avoided a fist fight. Yeah. And I ain't mad at it.

SPEAKER_02 10:08

Well, I understand that from a parent's perspective, but when your college students still wearing their pajamas and they mad, they're mad at Tuskegee. And I I think some of them are mad because there are bigger things and issues that need to be addressed at this university that help them to show up and be prepared to get their money's worth, to show up as better adults. And so they're talking about those things, but it's that and right, and I think that's the part that we can't miss. So I totally understand that they're taking a stance. I personally think that what you do as children shapes how you show up in the future, and so I don't agree with the whole, you know, major travel. I'm not saying, you know, every little thing, but major travel to me you put on some real clothes.

SPEAKER_03 10:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 10:54

But okay, we'll agree to disagree on that. But the Tuskegee, I wholeheartedly believe that this is something that has to happen. And I wish every place would ban it, starting with Walmart.

SPEAKER_01 11:04

Wait a minute.

SPEAKER_02 11:05

I can't stand it.

SPEAKER_01 11:06

You know what? You're taking it too far. And people come back.

SPEAKER_02 11:09

Taking it too far now. No, no, no, no. It's one thing to have on pajamas, it's another thing to be sloppy.

SPEAKER_01 11:15

You know what you're not gonna do? What you're not gonna do is enforce a dress code that I can't wear leggings. Leggings are at act active wear. They're active wear, but if they ban pajamas and active wear, and I can't wear my leggings, and I'm gonna have to blame you. We're gonna have a problem. Okay. You and my leggings.

SPEAKER_02 11:34

I can't don't take it away. As long as white women continue to work out every day, they will never ban leggings. You don't have to worry about leggings. You just can't wear those plaid, nasty, holy pajamas that people like to wear out the house. Those are the ones you cannot wear. Them plaid.

SPEAKER_01 11:54

So says the woman wearing pajamas on her podcast.

SPEAKER_02 11:58

I am, but these things are very classy. Okay. Can I wear these on $30 on Amazon? But if but look, look how we show up, right? Nobody would even question that because there's a way to do it. Yes. That's not how people are showing up. They are literally rolling out of bed looking crazy coming. So let's let's just be clear that we're not talking about well-presented pajamas. Right. They are just casually walking around as they were in their homes. Right. And it's not okay.

SPEAKER_01 12:29

No, you're you're right. And I there was a point that you made when we were talking about this previously, and you said that it's not realistic. No. We have to give out these college students realistic expectations of how to show up in the workplace. Yeah. And so I do understand why they would put in a dress code. And I remember my ex-husband went to HBCU and he did talk about how they had standards of how what time they had to be on campus, they had standards of how they were supposed to look, um, and they were preparing them for the real world. So I don't think this is a new concept. I think it's a new concept in the age of social media where people actually see that it's happening, but it's been happening at HBCUs for a while.

SPEAKER_02 13:11

So and everywhere else. Yeah. But they can control it in their universities. Absolutely. Yeah. I was uh watching some social media not that long ago, and there was a lady who stopped a girl, black woman who stopped a black girl, and told her, Don't come out of the house looking like that. Like you need she was community coaching her. The comments went wild. You have no right to do that. How dare you overstep? And I'm like, that was we need to help our community. Our community does not have a good perception, our community can show up better. Our community has pride. Our community should not allow foolishness, but our community should also be able to check us if we need to be checked. And in my opinion, helping someone out from a positive intent. I, you know, whether you agree with it or you don't agree with it, I'm never gonna have an issue if you come at me with positive intent in my community.

SPEAKER_01 14:03

Yes. So 100% agree. We used to do that. I mean, we got corrected by the moms and the grandmas in the neighborhood back in the day. You can't do that now with these kids. No, you can't, because that's they cut you out, go get your parent, and the parents cut you out. Yeah. Well, that's the block college students at Tuskegee. Yeah, prepare yourselves for life.

SPEAKER_02 14:24

Yes, you'll you'll thank them later. Yeah, for sure.

SPEAKER_00 14:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 14:28

Let's keep talking about around the social media. So I have been wanting to go to the RB tour with Usher and Chris Brown. And I just haven't bought my tickets yet. And I've been on the fence, you know, there's so much drama centered around them. Chris Brown may not even be on the show later when they come to Tampa. So, you know, we'll just see what happens. But did you see what happened at the RB tour in Nashville?

SPEAKER_01 14:58

So I heard about the fallout. I didn't see it.

SPEAKER_02 15:02

Um so Usher's team found a 24-year-old uh woman to come on stage, and this was during his sensual part of his show, Can You Handle It? Which is like that to me, that Usher to me is like, yeah, Usher. But granted, Usher's a grown man.

SPEAKER_03 15:20

He is.

SPEAKER_02 15:21

She's 24.

SPEAKER_03 15:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 15:22

She wasn't there to see Usher.

SPEAKER_03 15:24

Oh.

SPEAKER_02 15:25

And she made it very clear that she was not there to see Usher. She was very much so there to see Chris Brown. And so the the part where she was on stage, um, he was getting close to her, and she backed off like Homer Simpson in the book.

unknown 15:41

No.

SPEAKER_02 15:43

And it was very clear. And Usher obviously noticed her discomfort, and he backed away and ultimately shoot her off of stage saying that she clearly doesn't want to be here. So did she like, like, pause, like she paused him or she She never put her hands up, but she, you know how you move in closer to someone? Well, she backed off enough to where he couldn't really make contact with her the way you would expect, and it was that stiff-armed backup. So it was definitely that I don't want to be here type of situation. Now she's been doing interviews and she was actually on TMZ. You know, she her personal interviews on social media were not helpful for her. She talked a little bit about pretty privilege, and nobody wants to hear that when pretty privilege. Nobody wants to hear that. But on TMZ, she talked about being uncomfortable. She talked about not even knowing what was happening. She got pulled to VIP, which of course anyone would love to be excited about that. Then she found out she was going to go on stage, but she didn't know for who. Then she realized it was for Usher and she got uncomfortable. So I don't expect a woman to do anything that they don't want to do if you're uncomfortable. Right. It was just her how could have been a little different. But in the moment, who knows what you're gonna do on a stage of tens of thousands of people. Play along. That's what you do. I I don't know that I would play along. Now I would play along because it's Usher.

SPEAKER_01 17:01

But I'm not uh the biggest Chris Brown fan. But if you pull me on stage, I think I'm going for Usher and I end up with Chris Brown. I'm gonna play along.

SPEAKER_02 17:12

I'm not. Chris Brown, you know exactly what's about to happen with Chris Brown.

SPEAKER_01 17:16

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 17:17

I'm not doing that. I'm not doing that on the stage. But then you also know that you're not going to VIP, period. Well, I would go to VIP, but she didn't know all that was gonna come with that. So that was their team's fault. And Usher admitted, hey, if if people don't understand what it means to be pulled, we need to do a better job at that part. And if you're uncomfortable, don't come on stage. Like he made it very clear. So he gets to his next show and he's like, uh, all right now. God don't like ugly. And he reminded them if you're coming on this stage, please be ready for the full Usher experience. Right. He won't play in in the next city.

SPEAKER_01 17:54

I I well, yeah, fair warning. Yeah. I get it. Uh, but I do feel like if you know you're gonna go on stage, it's not a surprise what's about to happen.

SPEAKER_02 18:05

Well, not on this show, not after the first.

SPEAKER_01 18:08

But you've seen Chris Brown's old tour solo. You've seen Usher's review in Las Vegas. You know what's about to happen. Either you're gonna eat some cherries, or you go or you go get humped on.

SPEAKER_02 18:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 18:20

So which one are you okay with? And if it's neither, don't go on stage.

SPEAKER_02 18:24

No, I mean I agree with that, but things still happen. You get excited about the moment, you get excited about what I have no issue with her being uncomfortable and and backing off. It was the interviews after that got me like. I don't understand the pretty privilege. Explain this to me. I mean, I'm not gonna speak for this woman, but I think what she's saying is, you know, things happen when you're pretty, and you have you can have opinions and you can have thoughts and you can do what you want to do. Again, I'm not gonna speak totally for her, but that's to me what pretty girl privilege is. At the same token, I wholeheartedly understand I'm not comfortable, therefore I'm not doing it. And at 24, like, come on.

SPEAKER_01 18:59

So I mean, she doesn't have to do anything she's uncomfortable with, and there is no expectation. I just feel like her how Yeah, her how could have been better.

SPEAKER_02 19:08

Could have been better. She's 24. Well, I mean, I'm just saying.

SPEAKER_03 19:12

All right, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 19:13

But it's been really funny. And we'll see if Chris Brown continues to be on this tour with his trouble and issues that he's having with the assault charge. Um, maybe I'll go see them when they come to Tampa later this this this year.

SPEAKER_00 19:27

You might be on your own sister.

SPEAKER_02 19:28

I mean, you know, I might not be going. I might enjoy social media for this tour. You ain't coming with me? No, I I can't do it.

SPEAKER_01 19:35

You can't? I can't do it. You feel like he ain't changed? You know, I try to defend him early on to say that he's grown up and he's matured. But you know, if you know that you have anger issues, you either go work on your issues or you hire security. Yeah. You should not be getting your hands dirty in any situation, no matter how mad you get. And that doesn't show growth to me.

SPEAKER_02 19:58

Yeah, I mean, I think people are human, but I also think to your point, like you're try like you can't always think about every little thing, so have the right protections and people around you that can help you with that.

SPEAKER_01 20:09

That's my exact point that he can afford that. You can afford security to handle whatever issues that come up.

SPEAKER_02 20:15

Because people people will try you. Oh, they are trying him. I wholeheartedly know he can't go anywhere without people trying him. Women trying him, men trying him. Everybody. You know that's happening.

SPEAKER_01 20:26

And so since you know that that's the case, why don't you have security?

unknown 20:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 20:31

And why don't you regulate your emotions?

SPEAKER_02 20:33

And this was across seas, so this wasn't even like down the street and rap a handic or tappahana, wherever he's from in Virginia. But this was actually like you were traveling, significantly traveling, so therefore you should you should always have some security with you.

SPEAKER_00 20:47

Yeah. I I don't know. I can't I don't know if I can support it. But I wish them the best of luck. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 20:53

Good in concept.

SPEAKER_01 20:55

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 20:55

I'll probably be there though.

SPEAKER_01 20:59

What is the next subject?

SPEAKER_02 21:01

All right, so keeping with the round of social media, another thing that's happening is Married at First Sight. I love this show, and I know some people are gonna be like, What? This is stupid. Well, they're on season 20, so it ain't that stupid.

SPEAKER_01 21:13

Clearly, somebody's watching it.

SPEAKER_02 21:15

Yeah, they're in Seattle, and there's a whole bunch of couples, but this season has been very interesting, and three couples in particular have caught my attention. Okay. So the first one is Caitlin and Devin. They had a great first experience on the show. Um, seemed like very happy with each other at their pick, and then something happened after the first day, and she has lost interest in him, and he's really vying for her attention and has told her multiple times, I just need more from you. I do know that they slept together.

SPEAKER_01 21:49

Oh, that's it right there. Yeah, that's it. No, that he he hit that right.

SPEAKER_02 21:54

I know she was like, Man, I got to live my whole life like this. It feels like that because they were so. connected at the the the the first site meeting like they were all into each other first day was really really good and then she just kind of yeah that know exactly what that is yeah so I mean no one has said that outright but as a woman I definitely think that she was like nah this this ain't this ain't this ain't it no no I got you yeah so sorry to Devin but she's trying he's trying but it just doesn't feel like a a good connection and that physical early will definitely change some things yeah well sorry yep the next one is uh Belle Jolie and Mecca they have like instant rapport they show up like best friends but they were having this conversation on one of the episodes and he says to her I think you're into me more than I'm into you I hate when people do that and some instant turnoff an instant turnoff but for her it triggered her insecurities and she was like man maybe I need to back off a little bit and her guards she's she's still very cool with him but her guards started to come up a little bit of course and that has been living in her mind around maybe I am showing him a little too much maybe I need to even this thing out and I hate that because you want to be vulnerable he got her into a space where she can be vulnerable and from just that one conversation she was kind of like and was he joking or he was dead serious I think he was dead serious. I think he's full of himself I think he's full of himself in my opinion he's one of those guys like he wears black nail polish and he's very like friendly with himself like he's just very confident person. I think he's a little bit too confident and has nothing he looked all right to me but he's an attractive they're both an attractive couple they match each other for sure. But I just hate it when that situation happened because we forget that sometimes our words can affect us and there was no need to do that.

SPEAKER_03 24:00

Right.

SPEAKER_02 24:00

And and you should feel great that someone is that into you. Right. Why not use that as a positive versus spinning it in a way that made her insecure and it's not his job to have her security but it was there was no good intention of telling someone that I I think you're probably into me. And then she said he he rated it like he was like you're 150% into me. Well first of all your confidence is on a thousand sir I just feel like how how dare you say that out loud even if you're feeling it. Yeah it was very weird conversation and the whole conversation was we're into each other I love that we're building this friendship first. Like it was a positive thing until that happened. Yeah he he's cooked yeah well I mean they she's she's going along with it because she does really like him. She'll never exactly once that insecurity's there you lose a little bit of respect I do think it's gonna be very tricky long term and especially if she starts to think does he really like me right like that's the part in the back of her mind that sometimes men forget about a planted seed that you did that now has triggered her insecurity and it may be hard to come back from that long term. I don't know is there hope for the third couple yes I don't think this third couple is gonna make it I think they're the worst out of all of them. No yeah and they grown too grown like so it started bad from the beginning you know you I think if you watch the show you know that some people are attracted to their uh future mate and some of them aren't she immediately was not attracted to him she got on stage and she was like where's my husband and she walked down the aisle so you knew she should have known she was walking to her husband so I don't know if she was being shady or if she actually was confused. So she's not attracted to him so that's that's the hard part I I don't want to say she's shallow because she's not shallow she is she's obviously an educated woman but she just comes off as a little pretty privileged too so they are not hitting it off at all. I mean she had full anxiety when she saw him at the altar they have had so many miscommunication issues uh emotional shutdowns hurt feelings a ton of immaturity like you know I'm not trying to defend her but like he is he's immature he makes these comments like the temperature was set in the room at 69 and he was like ooh that's my favorite number sir you are 47 and I don't know you come on man I know you're excited about the experience but don't be immature and it was just it didn't sit right with her she's already not attracted to him right but she told him that she wasn't attracted to him and he thought that they had an attraction so kind of like the uh Belgiolie and Mecca situation he it immediately affected his confidence and unlike most men he went into this defensive mode of over talking and it just it didn't it wasn't a good look. And so she has now hit a nerve that has has him a little discombobulated and unfortunately just like her it's gonna be hard for him to come back. He's trying but he gets triggered and he emotionally responds which is very odd to me as a man but he emotionally responds and she emotionally responds and two emotional people can't respond in the way that they are yeah I I think they're in trouble.

SPEAKER_01 27:23

Okay well R.I.P.

SPEAKER_02 27:26

is all in the relationships don't sound like they're gonna make it no but I'll tell you one thing I'm gonna keep watching the show you like to trash TV I do you know I I've because I work in HR before and it's so serious and my days were so serious when I get home I like trash TV I like social media I like the craziness and so shows like Married at First Sight uh are some of my favorites. You like what you like?

SPEAKER_01 27:52

I do I do well I think there's always something positive that you can get from social media and a lot of times uh you know we think about what can entertain us but sometimes we got to think about what we can learn.

SPEAKER_02 28:08

Yeah yep so speaking of that uh Tracy Ellis Ross was on Kiki Palmer's podcast I know that was a mess. It was I I just love them. First of all I love Kiki Palmer you know that I do but Tracy Ellis Ross she is goals she is a I'm gonna live my best life whether it's single whether it's together my body's gonna be together I'm gonna take care of myself I'm gonna make my money and I'm gonna be authentically me. And I love that about her. So she's on the show and they're talking about moisturizing your neck and I love this because you know we're starting to age a little bit and as we're starting to age we start to see you know better ways that we can care for ourselves and she's making a joke about sunblock and she was like all right black people we may be black but this ozone is gone and we need to wear our sunblock and it was just funny because she was just talking about self-care and she talked about aging gracefully and about loving yourself and she made a joke she was like I do not want to look like a dolphin and have all this plastic surgery when I'm older I want to have yeah she wants to have life in her face and you know that includes wrinkles but you know she still wants to age gracefully so use your products but she really said that she supports loving yourself and whatever that means to you. And so I just really gotten a good laugh out of them but then inspired around us taking care of ourselves and doing a little bit better.

SPEAKER_03 29:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 29:30

And particularly black people caring for ourselves. So if we can keep it real according to the CDC 20% of black adults report uh fair or poor health and almost 40% of black men and 55% of black women according to the CC CDC are categorized as obese. And we know what's linked to obesity diabetes hypertension asthma heart disease mortality disparities and certain cancers we disport disproportionately have higher rates of these issues anyway which means that we have a shorter life expectancy and according to the CDC is four years less than our white American counterparts. Wow it's hard four years so we know that there's still ongoing racial and structural and interpersonal disparities as a fundamental cause of health inequalities but there's also lifestyle changes and generational bad practices that we have got to break if we want to see some changes and really care for ourselves in a a better way. Yeah for sure so for me it was stress it was my job again it is a corporate environment it is nothing that others aren't dealing with but it was stressing me the hell out. I was burned the hell out I'm in my lineal gap here. You are yes and everyone can't really reset and regain that needed momentum that they need to but for me that was necessary or else I was going down a path of of probably some some some other health issues. But I know a lot of people can't do that.

SPEAKER_03 31:11

Right.

SPEAKER_02 31:12

So we gotta figure out how do we take care of ourselves how do we raise our children to understand good habits early um because we are disproportionately not um our healthiest selves and some in our control and a lot out of our control.

SPEAKER_01 31:29

That's true. I mean we can't uh we can't change our genetics right you know if our if we have a family history of these diseases there's nothing that we can change about that. Right. But what we can control is how we eat how we exercise how we reduce stress and how we show up daily and Role said he's gonna be the president of the United States. Uh-huh okay so speak your baby I mean I need to be around I need to be a mama uh oh yeah mama in the White House Michelle's mama in the White House Robinson yeah I need to be Mrs. Robinson in the White House I need to be there to take care of them kids so that y'all can go and run the country so I I do I I feel like it's so important to be healthy and not just physically healthy but mentally healthy as well I'm so proud of you for taking your gap year.

SPEAKER_02 32:22

Thank you shall the risk it is a risk that you could take yes it's not for everyone no but those who can should for me it came down to I want a family yeah and I'm so excited to be adopting I'm so excited to be growing my family. I can't wait because your kids gonna be where pajamas in the airport they're not gonna be like see they're not I told you they're not yeah but the the goal here is to figure out what I want to do in this next year that gives me entrepreneurial freedom and the management of my time if I'm gonna work hard and work 50 to 60 hours is going to be for me and my business. That's the goal. Yes um I'm very excited about this journey but I just feel like at some point you got to say I need to pause I need to change jobs what Beyoncé say you can't break my soul you can't break my soul at some point you gotta figure out what that means for you and do something different. And again it could be eating it could be working out for me it was a reset of my job and I feel good about it. One month in and I feel reset a whole month can you believe it I know it definitely doesn't feel like a month but it's been a month yeah and uh yeah I'm excited.

SPEAKER_01 33:39

It's beautiful and we do we have to think about the things that we can do the things that we can control to make sure that we are taking care of ourselves. And so with that spirit we have a top five things that you can do for self-care.

SPEAKER_02 33:55

Yes I love rituals. You do I do I do I mean there are lots of things that you can actually do but let's get into this top five.

SPEAKER_01 34:02

Yeah for sure I'll kick it off.

SPEAKER_02 34:04

Yes all right so my top five starts with how I show up and I feel my best self when I go to the spa I get my nails done I get my hair done and so self-care from that perspective of a salon would be my first thing on my list.

SPEAKER_01 34:22

Yeah and I am telling you when these nails are fresh you know they're pretty they're very pretty thank you appreciate it it's not my preference I don't uh yeah again it to each their own but for me the salon and maybe it's the spa.

SPEAKER_02 34:36

Yes maybe a spa I got you now that part yeah a facial or a quick massage yes whatever that salon spa experiences that is a great way for um that's my first for top yeah and self-care you know in the salon if you're getting your hair done that's your therapy too. Yes it is child because I'm gonna talk it out don't don't get your hair buried by the Africans oh there you go too that's about six seven hours right there good therapy I love it yes and you go watch some good TV yeah yeah I'm all for that for that self-care that's a good one I like it yeah appreciate it what's another one that you do for self-care? So one that I'm trying to do better at is the gym and just working out like I just asked Sean if he wanted to do bike riding every single day because we have bikes and they're sitting up beautifully on this rack in my gym in my um my garage they I mean he got them planted up there like a plaque and they have been there for the last uh since 2025. So I do want to work out just a little bit more and there's zero reason in my zillenial gap year that I can't do that.

SPEAKER_01 35:43

No excuse. You you have eliminated eliminated the excuse of not having time.

SPEAKER_02 35:48

Correct yeah so I hear you yeah so the gym can be a great release for people lots of people incorporate that into their relationship where they both go work out together. I love seeing that on social media. Yeah but the gym is definitely a part of the top five self-care rituals.

SPEAKER_01 36:02

I love it I think one of my top five self-care rituals would be time with friends. So brunch oh you know I love the brunch with a little sip so yeah brunch and not not all the all the time sip but the brunch it's the therapeutic time with girlfriends it's the food it's the experience it brings you joy yeah yeah so I I do I enjoy a good brunch I love a good brunch I know sometimes it might be the opposite of your gym but yeah that's true good times that's it's an experience it's an experience and we know how to have and pick a good place that part yeah and another thing that I think about would be self-care would be traveling taking a girls trip. Oh yes even if it's a short weekend anything that gets you out of your element and into a different mind space. Our cousin Ebony and I are going uh to a resort in Vero Beach in a couple of weeks I cannot wait uh just time away on the ocean in a different space yeah it's only a weekend yeah but it's a getaway to reset and that is the ultimate self-care now we're gonna spa while we there of course and we're gonna drink any ship so I'm combining a lot of our self-care things but yeah I it it's important to me to be able to travel and you don't have to spend a lot of money to travel yeah you don't have to stay in the most expensive hotel you don't have to spa but just a a night on the beach reset get you a hundred dollar sleep in and it's just a different environment to really truly help you to reset.

SPEAKER_02 37:46

Yeah and that actually goes into my number five which is sleep. Oh girl I mean I will sleep uh a good weekend you may catch me getting up at noon judge me later okay judge me later I may get up at noon and I know this is short lived before you know my little kitty comes but yeah I'm gonna enjoy every ounce of it you should yeah I saw a statistic statistic that what a statistic a what a statistic ma'am that said that uh people these days are taking PTO to rest what to do like personal things for themselves like go to the doctor and sleep not travel not vacation but using your PTO to rest and sleep I'm not even mad at it I'm not mad at it but how bad is it that we have to use vacation time to sleep now granted do what you have to do yeah but you know don't use that PTO and my boss um earlier in the year you know talked about we were talking about burnout and she told me take take your time and so I had that lead way to do that and I don't know why we don't take our PTO.

SPEAKER_01 39:02

Well there are a lot of company policies that are use it or lose it. Yeah and here is my very very not unique advice for people who work in places like call centers or places that have multiple people who want to take PTO put it in for the year plan your PTO put it all in at the beginning of the year. So if you know your kids have spring break in March put in that PTO during that week if you do it early or if you know you want Thanksgiving put it in the system early and be the first one to put it in because when they get to the point where they're gonna start denying people's time off they'll see that you were first in the system.

SPEAKER_03 39:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 39:44

And I know it takes time to stop and plan and maybe you don't even want that time during the timeframe that you're taking off or you don't have anywhere to go. Just put in the PTO and then you can figure out what you're gonna do with that time later.

SPEAKER_02 39:59

I would tell one of my coworkers like you just need a break so just take a long weekend. Like you don't have to take a whole week off because it's hard to take off especially when you're in HR. Yeah just take a weekend take some time or else you're gonna burn yourself out when when you really need to show up you'll already be burned out. So those are just lessons learned that I have which is why sleep is on my top care, top five and self-care and using PTO to do that.

SPEAKER_01 40:28

Everybody who knows me knows I am in the bed at 10. Yeah so if you want to talk you better catch me closer to 8 30 when I put the kids to bed nine o'clock because at 10 you might not catch me. And uh I value my sleep. Even if I'm not asleep I'm in the bed at 10 so I'm resting and then I know my alarm clock is going to go off at six. So I want my eight hours. I really do and that's why I don't go out for real unless it's a weekend and I know I can sleep in the next day. Or I peer pressure you but it's usually like if we're going to a comedy show we're going to the early show.

SPEAKER_02 41:13

Yeah now we are yeah that's that's recent.

SPEAKER_01 41:16

Well but that's my reality now because I value my sleep.

SPEAKER_02 41:19

Yeah no you I'll be tired I'm telling you this aging thing is uh this aging thing is uh for the birds I um but no I mean we're just looking out for ourselves because nobody else is looking out for us that's very true and it's important take care of yourself girl please do so you can listen to the podcast yes well believe it or not it's almost that time before we get to the Sister Salute I do have a drink today you too and uh surprise it's a wine I adore you for this thank you yes normally I would go Crown Royal today I have picked a blueberry Celarosa wine delicious so good and so it's one of the most popular fruity wine brands sweet juicy low alcohol and extremely easy to drink and for a person like me who don't know how to sit swirl slush smush what wine is absolutely perfect for me so yeah it feels like a wine cocktail that's what I feel like I'm drinking and the flavor is fantastic you can actually mix it into a cocktail cocktail oh ma'am I'm making blueberry slushies uh a little bit later so stick around I shall cheers cheers sister mm-hmm tell me that ain't good of course you know I know yeah yeah so I have a sister salute okay and if you have been following me on social media and there's a couple ways to follow us at Tiffanange podcast which is on uh Instagram TikTok YouTube and uh Facebook but I also started my own page at Tampa Bay B A E TIF so follow me there you can track my journey yes and one of the things that I shared on a recent post is about Beyond the Gates. I love Beyond the Gates I love Beyond the Gates and I'm so excited for them because for the first time uh in daytime Emmy history two black actresses were nominated for Outstanding Lead Performer in a daytime drama series in the same year and both are beyond the gates they have earned 15 daytime Emmy nominations in his very first year of eligibility making it the second most nominated show of the year right behind the Young and the Restless.

SPEAKER_01 43:51

And I love Young and the Restless we grew up on Young and the Restless. Yep so I definitely always love this show but there's something about that beyond the gate. Yes oh my gosh it is so juicy and now they're starting to put together the pieces with Haley oh I can't wait yes I absolutely love this show to the point where like you know how in soap operas you watch them every day and if you miss it yeah you normally just keep going because every day it collects a new day.

SPEAKER_02 44:20

Right. I go back and watch I get myself caught up and then I you know am watching the newer episodes and now I got a little bit more free time so I'm pretty caught up but in addition to the 15 nominations not in addition included in the 15 nominations is Outstanding Daytime Drama Series as one of the nominations which is fantastic and eight of the acting nominations across categories I am so excited for them. I cannot wait for them to win what they win but more importantly they're getting the recognition that they should and the show is good.

SPEAKER_01 44:55

Yeah it is good I can't wait to watch the daytime Emmys something I have not said never yes but I'm gonna actually watch the show I'm definitely watching that I see them win something the show is great there's a lot of great writing uh I there's some plot twists that I I need to come I I'm waiting on like I think I figured out a couple of them so I don't think I'll spoil it but I'm waiting on one plot twist to happen and I think I know what's gonna happen.

SPEAKER_02 45:26

I'm so excited well it's a conversation of ours like we'll be in the car we'll be at the house we'll say hey mom did you see like it is what we're talking about. Yes I love it so I mean they're definitely proving that black led daytime drama isn't just viable it's award winning very excited for Beyond the Gates so to you you have my sister salute beyond the gates thank you for the great TV and we cannot wait to see you all clean up at the daytime uh awards absolutely cheers beyond the gates all right sister well this has been so much fun of course I feel the girl power recollecting back in us we had a lot of masculine energy in our comments over the last topic days so uh I feel more woman centered and empowered now it's like hello sister yes it does yeah so let's end this to our sister salute thank you let's do it absolutely so to the sister who dared to the sister who cared to the sister who said yes to herself we see you we celebrate you and we salute you almost it one we'll be finishing this one I'm doing love you sister love you sister