Fitness, Identity & Real Life" ft. Hector Regalado

What's really driving you to the gym, vanity, validation, or something deeper? In Episode 6 of Occasionally Perfect, Lexsi and Amber sit down with personal trainer and mentor Hector Regalado for one of their most honest conversations yet. What starts as a chat about fitness goals and weight loss quickly turns into a deep dive on identity, mental health, and why the number on the scale is never really the finish line. Hector breaks down why discipline beats motivation, how to build a healthy relationship with food, and why "fitness is what we do not who we are."They also get into the real talk on GLP-1s and Ozempic, body image, self-worth, and how movement impacts anxiety, stress, and confidence. (Especially for women navigating different seasons of life.) 


Topics covered:

• Aesthetic goals vs. long-term health & longevity
• When fitness discipline becomes obsession 
• Mental health and exercise, anxiety, stress relief & mindset
• Women's fitness and strength training for different life phases
• GLP-1s, Ozempic & weight loss drugs, are they worth it?
• Nutrition, macros & portion control without the noise
• Body image, self-worth & breaking free from validation
• "Be. Do. Have." the mindset shift that changes everything

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Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Hey, it's your girl Lexi Lewis. And it's your girl Amber Borzultra.

SPEAKER_02 0:04

And welcome to Occasionally Perfect. Today's conversation, we're going to get into the real motivations behind fitness from vanity to longevity and where that line can sometimes start to blur. We're also going to dive into the mental health side of training, how movement impacts anxiety, stress, and discipline. And when that discipline can tip kind of into an obsession. Plus, we're going to break down how fitness could evolve through different phases of life, especially for women, and cutting through the noise of nutrition, macros, and even the rise of those GLP1 things. Um, so if you've ever felt confused, conflicted, or just want a more honest, grounded approach to health, this episode is for you. And without further ado, we're gonna welcome our wonderful guest, Hector Ricalado. Welcome to Occasionally Perfect.

SPEAKER_06 0:51

Thank you for having me.

SPEAKER_01 0:52

Hey Hector, yes, welcome.

SPEAKER_06 0:55

Thank you guys for having me. Thank you for having me. I'm appreciative and grateful when anybody ever asks me to come speak on their podcast show or whatever. So I appreciate y'all.

SPEAKER_02 1:04

Well, yeah, you're so motivational. So we need that in our audience because we're all trying to figure things out. And oh my god, that's shiny.

SPEAKER_01 1:10

And I don't personally, I haven't met you yet.

SPEAKER_06 1:12

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 1:13

This is I literally just said hi, shook your hand a minute ago. Hector is my trainer.

SPEAKER_06 1:16

Hector is So what is she what does she come home and say?

SPEAKER_01 1:20

Oh my god, I can't feel my legs. Oh my gosh, I can't feel my legs. Oh my god, I need to lay down for a minute.

SPEAKER_07 1:27

Oh my god, I can't move.

SPEAKER_01 1:30

I've never lifted so much weight in my life. That's good.

SPEAKER_02 1:35

I'm actually very proud of it. I wanted when I even contacted Hector because I saw that he was really into strength training. And I've always lifted weights, but kind of in a like, oh, 10, 20 pound things. And he's always lifting. Every time he puts something on, I'm like, sir.

SPEAKER_07 1:51

And she does it. And she's doing it.

SPEAKER_02 1:54

I'm like, oh, he thinks I'm amazing, honestly.

SPEAKER_01 1:57

I love it. No, but she does be coming home. And she's I also have seen a difference just also in her body. Yeah, she was like, oh yes, I'm gonna do it. And she eats good. She's cut out things that she's been needing to cut out. And listen, well, you'd be sneaking every now and then. But I just want to say, you you're it's a lot better, especially having two kids in the house that love treats and candy and stuff in the room. You love treats. I know I just want to get ice cream, but I got it. Listen, that is the hardest thing for me. I think when it comes to fitness overall, like my biggest thing is I I don't mind the gym and everything. It's the it's the discipline with the food. I have the biggest sweet tooth. Like I love sweets and I feel like discipline. I'm great everywhere else in life.

SPEAKER_02 2:47

I always hear people say so much that it is your food, and I think when it comes to working out, I'm like, I don't, I don't all the way do it for my health yet. Yeah. I mostly like, I want to look good. And people are like, well, your fitness matters. Yeah. I mean, what you're eating is the most important. And I'm like, uh okay. Do you find that people usually think that start to work out because of how they look more than oh, I want to be healthy?

SPEAKER_06 3:11

No, a thousand percent. Um especially this day and age in our society, it's always gonna be about like how pretty you are, how fit you are. You know, obviously first impressions mean a lot. Um, but nobody really cares about their health until it's too late, right? So you said it perfectly, is like you have discipline everywhere else in life except food. Because you don't have a big enough reason to be disciplined because to the outside world, you look healthy. You can be even healthy inside. It's not a problem, it's just the the amount of consumption we have with those types of foods. So the reason is I don't give people cheap meals is because if I tell them, hey, look at the serving size of this ice cream, right? It says one scoop, nine times out of ten, you're just not taking that one scoop. So you think it might be exactly right?

SPEAKER_02 3:54

I take a whole pint. What kind of scoop? Like mine is like a bin in a one spoonful.

SPEAKER_06 4:00

But again, it depends on whatever serving size it is. So if I put it, I make people weigh everything out. Because if you you need to, yes, you need to be conscious of how much you eat. It's not the problem that of what you eat is bad, it's how much of it you eat. So yes, you're eating the whole thing, and so every serving size on the colour. I got a little more. Now imagine if there's four or five servings and it's about 130 calories each, you just had 700 calories of ice cream instead of you know, hey, if I want a little sweet treat, nobody can stop themselves because of that discipline. So I'm just like, take it out. Because most people, when they go out, it's like they need to eat everything because that's what we're taught. So when they come back to me, it's like you can have that, but make sure you weigh it out exactly. And so that's the hard part when it comes to nutrition. But again, people want to look good, they have no choice but to follow these set of rules and guidelines in order to reach that physique.

SPEAKER_01 4:50

Yeah. So with that, when you say people want to look good, do you think it's wrong if someone starts working out purely for aesthetic purposes?

SPEAKER_06 4:59

Um, I don't think so. I mean, that's how I started. So I got done playing college basketball at 22. Um, I was short, skinny. Obviously, I can't get taller, so I decided finally I don't know, maybe some knee surgery. But but um I was sh short, skinny, and so the only thing I could change at that time is put on more muscle. So I started off not wanting it for the right reasons, which I think a lot of people do. Um, then eventually they understand the importance of it, they start learning more about it, they're more knowledgeable, and they get into it themselves and just see how many other people they can help along the way. But once you start learning more about it and how important it is to your quality of life, um, that motivation evolves and it switches to actually having a bigger purpose.

SPEAKER_02 5:45

Yeah, because don't you think like if you're starting for those aesthetic purposes and wanting to look at on stuff, like once you get it, you kind of just stop, right? So it's like once you start to see the healthier version of it, that's that's the thing's gonna actually exactly, but that's not what they see, right?

SPEAKER_06 6:01

They just keep looking in the mirror. And so I've had people who've gotten amazing shape and then fell all the way off, but that's due to life purposes, and so it's a problem with it if your identity becomes what you see in the mirror, right? Right, yeah, like you can be okay and not look a hundred percent like do you like yourself without makeup? Do you like yourself a little chubby? Like, it depends on truly what you identify with, and you know, I I I mentor a lot of younger kids who like to get into bodybuilding and just want to get into this life, but I tell them, like, fitness is what we do, it's not who we are. You cannot like even me is like you know, she was telling me, like, what do you want to be titled as? Like, just a trainer is that it that's it, because I don't want an identity that can change at any moment. Say something happens, I lose my job, great, I have to go be a podcaster or do something else. Like, who I am character-wise, will always be able to transition to any industry, but I can't hold on to this thing like Hector is a trainer, or yeah, they call me Hector the trainer, but like I don't internalize that. I only have one identity, and you know, that's in God. But other than that, like I don't care what people call me. So it's like, oh yeah, like we talked about, I have real estate, I have a nonprofit, I do these amazing things, but it doesn't matter because I can't just hold on to the things I accomplish as my identity. And so a lot of people tend to do that with fitness, or it's like I was gonna say a lot with fitness. And so if you are not in shape, I get it, I understand it in the beginning, but eventually, even if you do achieve that body, I still can tell like you think you're fat, right? Like I can still see that you really internalize that you aren't the person that you see in the mirror. And so you still strive and strive, and again, you think you're gonna get certain attention once you get that body. It was like, oh, girls are gonna like me more, you know, I'm gonna get more attention, I might get brand deals and things like that.

SPEAKER_01 7:45

Validation from someone feels good, huh?

SPEAKER_06 7:47

Exactly. So obviously we can't rely on that because you know the claps are gonna be just as loud as the booze, and if you let that switch your mood, you're just always gonna be up and down, and then somebody else is gonna, you know, have that control and power over you. And obviously that's not what we want.

SPEAKER_02 8:01

Right. And then it also gets to that point where you're starting to be like so obsessive with looking a certain way where it can it can get unhealthy too, right?

SPEAKER_06 8:08

So it that just depends on like what the definition is of unhealthy to that person, right? So my bodybuilders, everybody would look at it like it's extreme, but that's just their way of competing. And again, to a regular person, like I can never do that, but excuse me, to the much. Yeah, so but again, it's it's it's their life. If that's what you want, it's more of the intention, why do you want it? Like, I got two people who are gonna go to the Olympia either this year or next year, but I'm like, I want you to want it because everything in life is just a process. I think people need to understand that, and it's not like I have to achieve this or there's not a way I can't. There's literally a blueprint of every same thing with podcasting. Somebody has done this before you. If you follow that blueprint, it will be successful. So there's nothing that we have that we're doing that nobody hasn't done. So as long as you do those things, you'll have it. Right. Right. Which is fine, but like it can't be your identity.

SPEAKER_04 8:57

Yeah, I love that.

SPEAKER_06 8:59

I I well because I've been well, I've I've been around. Um I was always that younger kid. So like 25 I started bodybuilding, but I was always with the old older heads or like people who were just getting into like men's physique bodybuilding. Like I've been around an Olympia winner that I went to college with that I'm able to pick up the phone and call. I've professional athletes, things like that. So I understand the mindset of these people. But then I have to figure out yes, they make millions, but do I want their life dynamic?

SPEAKER_02 9:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 9:27

How do they treat their kids? How do they go about life? How do they even live their life? Like, what do they truly believe in? And we get so consumed, especially as young men, is like we just want their money, regardless of what happens or like how they go about it to get it. And that's the problem. We're like, we see what people have, but do we want to do what we have to do to get that? Yeah, and some people are willing to sacrifice it, some people are willing not to. So it's just a choice that you just truly internally have to make with yourself.

SPEAKER_02 9:52

Well, and that's honestly, this is not even on the topic that I thought we were gonna talk about. But I remember when I was like 22 or 23, I read the four-hour work week, and I was like, you could make systems and figure out how to work for four hours and make money. So, like, my whole life has been trying to figure out systems, but I have ADHD, so it's like so AI has finally got to a place where it's like helped me where I can and technology, not even just AI, just technology in general. There's like so many systems that you can put in place.

SPEAKER_06 10:19

But remember, when we talk about that, that's only one part of your life, and that's business.

SPEAKER_02 10:22

So, no, my point was I only wanted to work minimal, have a good quality of money so I can spend time with my daughter and stuff. Because I always know that I was like, I want to my parents, my mother, I mean, I was raised in single, she worked so much and then she went to school. So then I was always like, She's never here for anything. And I was like a top athlete, and everyone at the school, like bring posters and all this stuff and like be rooting for me. Mom and mom would be like, she'd be at there at regionals and state, you know, but otherwise she's not at anything. And I was always like, I am not gonna be at my not, I'm not gonna miss that stuff. So when I read the four out work week, I was like, okay, you can make money and have a good quality because I was I was like, I know I want to have money, but I don't want to be like I have I have friends that are I have billionaire friends and they have they're such slaves to their schedule. And I was like, that's not gonna work for me. Like I can have that. So I have my number that I'm like, I want this number, and I know that I want this type of lifestyle, and I could get it, and I've seen people put the system together to get that, but that's so true, like to study someone's like actual life, not just because I mean they only show us like what they want to show us at the same time. Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 11:30

But even like I go off schedules for everything, and I tell people you gotta figure out when you eat, you gotta figure out when you go and even play with your kid, when they go into school. Because even then, like, as much as you want to spend time with them, they're still gonna go to school. So for those eight hours, you still have time to work. It's just when they get off school, are you there to pick them up? Are you be able for the after school activity? So your job is to, hey, within these times that they are busy, I'm going to make as much money as possible. And again, it's always about forward thinking, which again, my mentor Jamal taught me, which is why I bought real estate, where it's like, okay, how many properties do I need to not have to be in the gym 60 hours a week, right? But I understand still, I have to build systems as you are, I have to present myself online. But people, because of the way I position myself online, people only feel the value when we're this close. I can understand it. I can make her cry without talking to her. So but people want to feel that. Like because we've come in an age where AI and screening connection is so important, but it's different. Like again, like you're bringing her Saturday.

SPEAKER_02 12:26

I was thinking, I was gonna say that. Yeah, because I didn't want to end up with a few. No, that's oh yeah.

SPEAKER_06 12:30

Like you'll see, like I believe in real community, right? And so that's me. I'm having twins in May. And so we're having uh thank you. We're having a fatherhood celebration. It's not a baby shower. Um I got over like 230 RSVPs. But this is because I've been in this game for so long. I've been good to people, I understand how to serve, and I understand what real community and what people actually helping each other looks like without stepping on toes, without being jealous, envious, and like truly wanting everybody to win. With this day and age, it's more like just digital. It's hard to build that sense of community, especially you have to be a person of just service and just basically want to serve the world.

SPEAKER_01 13:10

Yeah. I I'm definitely there. I feel like because Lexi is one of those people that like if she talks so highly of you first of all, but then not just that, like, you know, when you you have those people in your life, you're like, if I introduce you to this person, then I just know that like everyone's gonna get along. I know that like I can bring this person and you're gonna connect with everybody. I feel like you're like you're kind of like that.

SPEAKER_06 13:31

So and it's funny because I call it like Hector the connector because I like that. And so I've had a client where it's like, let's just say, again, to me, I understand that I always have to be valuable just to the marketplace. But even then, it's like if I can't help you lose weight, let's just say somebody's not listening to me, things like that. I've had a client where I helped her get real estate because she had to see me buy property in order for her to believe it. But me and her have the same realtor, but the realtor knew her for seven years before she met me, never bought a house. So it takes somebody that's close to you to understand that. And I was able to get her daughter in therapy, you know, I was able to help her get back in church. So it's like the value of just being around somebody who just does it themselves. Like, I don't I don't like people who try to be motivational. Like, I don't try to be motivational. Like, I literally just live my life, and if people get motivated by it, great, but I don't set out to be like, I'm here to motivate you.

SPEAKER_02 14:20

Like, no, like they know I love that.

SPEAKER_06 14:22

But because the difference is like I don't say anything to you that's truly like motivational that I just haven't experienced in my own life. Yeah, so it's like me, even me asking you certain questions, like, what life do you want to live? How much do you want to travel? Like, if you know yourself, oh yeah, that was so good. Remember, so it's like if you're gonna travel, don't sit here and try to be saying like I don't expect people to be me. Like, it'd be very hard to be at one place 60 hours a week, but at the same time, my work isn't work. Like, I get to meet different people. Obviously, it opens up different experiences. Um, and I enjoy what I do because my life is about service. I've understood since a shorty, my life is never about me, but I'm okay with that. I'm happy with that. A lot of people just can't find peace or understanding in that because they want to be able to go around. They don't feel like, or they feel like they're you know closed in and they're stuck to a space where it's like I'm not, right? But it's I might it's gonna be different, I know, because I'm about to have kids. So my thing is like, I'm good, I have to take off weekends to be there more because they're not here, they're in Memphis. So it's like I know they're I know I'm gonna just gonna have to take more time, but at the same time, I don't do anything anyway outside of work, but just go home and then just work on more work. So now it's just me transitioning that period of time to now give it to little people.

SPEAKER_01 15:31

Oh welcome to the club. Exactly.

SPEAKER_06 15:35

So I can't speak like I know, obviously, but I understand where my time is. But the same thing as you is like, can I be able to set myself up? Because I'm the same product as you. My mom worked all the time, worked two, three jobs. I'm raised by a single mother, and she never showed up to my games. I stayed around other people, which again I'm grateful for because my mom was a provider, always had food on the table, clothes on my back, a roof over my head. Yeah, even we stayed in the we stayed, we always stayed in the best neighborhoods, but like the garden units, right? So it was still great. Um, but it was different when it came to character. I didn't like how she treated people at times, so it was like I never wanted to be my mother on that aspect, but she taught me two things, which was work hard and don't get no girls pregnant. So I did very good until the age of 35. Um at 20, and those were just her two rules, two rules that I've always kept, and it's kind of built me here, but I've learned from other people, and I was always placed around two parent households. So I didn't stay home a lot, or if she was at work, or things like that, like I always want to stay at my friend's house, but all my friends of different races, Asian, black, white, they all had two parent households. I was the only one with a one-parent household. So it was nice to see that family dynamic also growing up.

SPEAKER_02 16:44

Yeah, I know. I I had all my friends were like that too. I remember actually, like in my best friend in elementary school when her parents got divorced. Me and her were both like, oh my god, you know, because her family was my family too. So it is crazy how so much influence comes from your community. Yeah. Yeah. I love how your your how you think about having a healthy life and stuff. It's so much more than just like I'm in the gym. And I think do you ever for me, even though it's so much out of the gym, for me, and I don't know if it's maybe because I played sports, but I know that when I'm going, I'm really going through stuff, I like I started to run more. I used to, oh, I had this really bad roommate once, and she was so depressing to be around, and we lived in this small space together, and I would just go on runs and I would literally that we had it was in LA and there was like this loop little loop. It it probably was like a quarter mile loop, honestly, of this neighborhood. And I would, oh my god, I don't even want to say this because it's gonna sound really white. I would put on pink, I would put on pink, and I would run in this loop and I would cry. But it literally was so cleansing for me, and I honestly feel like people downplay the importance of fitness for your mental health. Do you see? Do you ever like have people that come in and are like, oh, I didn't know how much stress I would get up rid of, how much anxiety I would get rid of?

SPEAKER_06 18:06

Yeah, I actually have a video of that on my page where she was like, I didn't know my depression was going to be able to decrease while she was doing it. They talk about runner's high, like you just kind of get in that zone and you kind of forget about everything. But yeah, of course, just because movement, you know, more blood flow to the brain, psychological stress is what we used to have back in the day when something was trying to kill us or you were trying to kill something for food. What now when remember like that like? Yeah, like that's why we were talking.

SPEAKER_01 18:36

We were talking about that recently. We were being her were like, do you think you could kill something? You have no kids. And like go out, and Lexi's like, I think I wanted to try killing.

SPEAKER_00 18:47

Wait, what hunting? Yes, no, obviously, I don't want you to lose. I'm gonna go out killing. I'm like, wait a minute.

SPEAKER_06 18:59

No, that's not the one. But imagine, like, back in the day when we were.

SPEAKER_01 19:05

Okay, okay. Let's come back killing. Yes. But we had no choice. Hunting, not killing. Yes, obviously.

SPEAKER_07 19:16

Not a serial killer. You're fine.

SPEAKER_01 19:19

Anyway, sorry.

SPEAKER_00 19:20

Okay.

SPEAKER_07 19:21

Anyway, so look, so go back on top. Let's look, I gotta bring y'all belt.

SPEAKER_01 19:25

Okay, the ADHD mentor right here. Okay, okay, okay, cool.

SPEAKER_07 19:30

You good? Good. Okay.

SPEAKER_06 19:31

So back in the day when before technology, before technology and everything, we used to hunt our food and we used to gather our food. But now, since we can just go order it online, it can be delivered to us, our stresses are different. Maybe from a boss, maybe from a spouse, maybe from being in the drive-thru line of waiting for so long. So all that physical and psychological stress pent up, we need to let it out. And most people don't move around enough to be able to release that. I still tell people the gym isn't therapy, right? It's a form of self-care, but whatever problems you walked into that gym is still gonna be there after. You might feel different, you might get a different perspective, you might process it differently during that time. Beautiful. Still take your ass a therapy because again, you still need that non-biased opinion that somebody can help you that to see even a different perspective. But it does give you time to regulate your emotions, calm down, and then at least, you know, have an outlet for it. But I still tell people like go get it.

SPEAKER_02 20:26

Go home and cry, run and cry and go with. Yeah, I had to do way more deep dives for sure. But I I definitely feel like it's just it's like a and again for me, to me, it's like a coping that I can just slowly like start to get back in a good space when I have that again. And I noticed for sure. Yeah, I noticed well, even before working out with you, like the last two years of my life has been the laziest years of my life, and which is so like just not in me. And I was like, I the thing I need is someone to tell me to work out.

SPEAKER_06 20:55

But that's but it's awareness though. Like a lot of people don't understand, like, we need a coach in every every area of our lives, right? We have doctors, we have accountants, we have therapists, we have everything. So it's like it's okay to have a trainer, but a lot of people like, oh, it's discipline. No, it's okay to have somebody push you to another level because we all need it. Nobody is gonna be able to get it done by themselves because if that's the case and information was the key, everybody would get to A to B.

SPEAKER_03 21:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 21:21

But even though we understand there's a process, can you follow that process? And do you need somebody to help you? For sure. We all need a coach in every area of our lives, yeah, regardless of it.

SPEAKER_02 21:29

Especially like someone that specializes in a certain area, because I think again with your friends saying saying they needed to see someone else doing it, it's like you I have never lifted what I lift because I was I was like, I don't know, men do that or something. Or like, I know I could do more, but like I would have probably added like ten or five, and he's adding like forty five plays. I'm like, ooh. I'm like, I don't know who you think I am. And and then I do it, and I'm like, Oh, okay. You can actually do it.

SPEAKER_01 21:55

See my my um so the father of my daughter. Um, he's a personal trainer, or he was, and he has trained me and he used to do that. He used to like, Amber, yes, you can do it. Put on the weight, I'm like, you think I can do it? What? But I I like really like it's a mental thing, I feel like sometimes like I just be psyching myself out.

SPEAKER_02 22:15

Someone else knowing that you can do it. I've seen other people do this. I know I see what you're doing right now. I know the mechanics of this, and yeah, I you could do it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_06 22:25

That's just again, you guys are both dramatic, right? And so you need somebody, you need somebody who just panic in the gym.

SPEAKER_01 22:34

Oh my god, my knees are like the gym, I'm like everywhere. But I mean, I are not one of those.

SPEAKER_06 22:43

So you'll be like, oh, I'm just like, you'll be fine. Yeah, and I'm like, And then you do it, then you're like, okay, but you can't have somebody panic. That's why you need a different set of eyes. Because if you go into it by yourself, you really think like, oh my god, I'm gonna die, or something terrible is happening to me. But when you have somebody there holding your hand or helping you, you just it gives you more um sense of peace and calmness to get done whatever you're trying to get done.

SPEAKER_01 23:05

Yeah, I agree. That you said that's why you needed it too. You're like, I'm like, no, I was like, I know I can do it, but like I don't know what to do. Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 23:13

And again, you think about a lot of other stuff, it just takes out one more thing. You really have to mentally process.

SPEAKER_02 23:18

That's like a big thing that I don't think realize people realize with coaching is or having a coach, because I had like a business coach and stuff as well. Just any coach where it's like I I get not even just coaching, just outsourcing thinking. For sure. Because in this, especially in this in could what is the capitalism in capitalist America and just in the place where we're always working, always doing something, especially being a single parent, solo parent. Oh god, I hate single parents. I know, I know. Especially being a solo parent, I'm like, my brain is always doing a million things, so anything I can outsource thinking on, I'm like, oh God, please do this for me.

SPEAKER_06 23:51

But it's it's hard because a lot of people didn't prepare for that, right? So it's like life is about convenience. Yeah. Or at least it should be like bef back in the day, like I never used to do my own laundry, wash my well, wash my clothes, wash anything, go get gas in my car. I would pay somebody to do it. But because where was my time being spent? It was spent making more money and making sure that my brain power or whatever was going to things that were gonna make me more money.

SPEAKER_03 24:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 24:18

Because at the end of the day, they're just frivolous stuff. It's not saying that I can't do it, but do I want to be able to outsource that? Right.

SPEAKER_02 24:24

Is it maximizing my time? That's why we we were talking about daycare. Yeah, I told I I was like, girl, please get day care because uh she was like, I was like, I people always look at daycare at such a big expense. And I'm like, okay, well, what if you don't do it? Are you gonna level up in life or are you gonna just stay where you are? And do you want to stay where you are? Fine, okay, don't do it. Right, right, right.

SPEAKER_06 24:43

Right, it's the cost of doing it, but then again, what's the cost of not doing which is uh gonna be a lot more, which is gonna cost you time? Because again, I'm sanity. But that's the only but that's the only commodity we don't get back, is time. So where do you are the same thing? You want to spend it with your daughters, and you guys want to do it doing more fulfilling stuff, but we have to future plan for is like do you have enough money for childcare? Yeah, do you have enough money to make sure that you don't have to do all these other things? Like again, I already know. Like, if I want a chef, a maid and a butler, and um a driver, like I know at least if I want to pay them a hundred thousand dollars, I know what m what let me be your total.

SPEAKER_01 25:18

Wait, oh I'm totaling it.

SPEAKER_06 25:20

No, I want to pay each person a hundred thousand dollars.

SPEAKER_01 25:22

How many was that one? Chef, butler, driver.

SPEAKER_06 25:25

Literally, because I'll be your chef. Right, but if you think about it, but again, but if you think about it, how much time does it save? But in my head is like, how much money do I have to make to have that lifestyle actually attainable? Like you said, you've each.

SPEAKER_02 25:39

I have my number I did my dream life, or like, okay, if I want to be this, what does it look like? And then I have it on paper.

SPEAKER_06 25:44

And so now after that, it's just how do you get to A to B? And now you process it, how many sales do you have to make? How much hours do you have to put in? Boom. And then again, even then, what industry um are you actually gonna get in to get you there? Because I talk to kids all the time, like, how much money do you want to make? And they're like, Oh, it's not about money. I said, that's a lie, right? And it's not again, money is just a tool, but it's figuring out like some kids are like I only want a hundred thousand dollars. I'm like, why don't you want a hundred million?

SPEAKER_03 26:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 26:08

Because they just never seen it or been exposed to it. It's possible, but then again, I my thing is like, okay, if I say I want to make a hundred million dollars, I'm not gonna make it off fitness. I'm gonna be really honest. Like, I'd have to start a system or start a school or be able to at least.

SPEAKER_02 26:22

My trainer did the same thing. He started in training, and he was like, No, I have to do coaching for other trainers now.

SPEAKER_06 26:28

That's how he leveled up because once you understand what it takes, and now if I want to make billions, okay, if I think about oil or I think about tech, you have to figure out okay, what service I'm providing for the masses to make that much to make that much money. And again, it's not too many things, but it's like if I'm over here being a taxi driver and just driving a taxi, you'll never get to that goal. Yeah. So we always use the analogy like your vehicle can change, but the destination stays the same.

SPEAKER_02 26:52

Yeah. Yeah. I would just like to say no one should be billionaires and no one should be billionaires, but I also think people should, it's so easy now with chat. Just like think about what your dream life is and just tally it up and then see. It's actually way cheaper than you think.

SPEAKER_01 27:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 27:07

For most people. I think people, because we have so many billionaires now and it's like a cool thing, go to people like, I want to be a billionaire. And like, no, most people don't. Because again, the I said I have so many people that are very wealthy and they have no time freedom. They're such a slave to a schedule. And maybe you want that, maybe. Um, but I think these people want, but it's what you believe.

SPEAKER_06 27:25

Can't okay. Do you believe you can be a billionaire and not be a slave to your schedule?

SPEAKER_02 27:29

Yes, because also I do know people have sold companies, right? And people sell companies, and oh, like I I think Tom from MySpace, yeah. I was thinking about him. Uh Tom's from MySpace. I think he sold MySpace for like 600 million or whatever, and now he spends his life being a photographer around the world. Beautiful, dope. So again, he's right. Think about what you want to do, like what is it, and like how am I gonna do it? Um but it's just your beliefs. Like I said, like what you believe is what you will be living, and but then actually calculate it because I think we when you just throw out numbers, it doesn't make like, do I really need this? And when I realized what kind of life I want, I'm like, oh my god, I need way less than I thought. It's only like 25 mil. And that's like what? And after 25 mil, then I'll be making two million every year by itself, and I'll make two million a year and I don't want to do anything.

unknown 28:11

I could do that.

SPEAKER_06 28:11

But see, but there's people that can't even fathom two million, right?

SPEAKER_02 28:14

Like, but that's that's two million a year just with it sitting, right? So I only get 25 million just sitting in a and then I could just do nothing. You said 25 million? 25 million sitting in your investment.

SPEAKER_06 28:24

But you see, like the it's it's really how you speak about it. Like, do you feel like it's attainable? Because some people like, I'll never make 25 million in your life, but it's true.

SPEAKER_02 28:31

Well, if you say you'll never make it, you're never gonna make it. But I know I have powerful words.

SPEAKER_06 28:34

I used to like but it's but it's it's truly a belief. Like that's where it starts. Like this day and age, I cannot sell no information. Everybody knows how to get healthy, everybody knows what to actually do. It's my job is can I inspire you or can I be able to mentally get you to shift from where you are and then do whatever I need to do and change your identity to get you to be. That's the only thing we can sell these days because you go on chat and find out how do you figure out how to make 25 million? Boom. Yeah. So I don't have to sit there. You only gonna do it because you might trust me if if if you've seen somebody do it before. But other than that, this day and age, you're not getting paid for information nine times out of ten.

SPEAKER_02 29:09

Yeah. I mean, again, that goes, especially like I'm just gonna go specifically back to even training. That was even my thing, is I know exact I trained people before. Like I used to be a trainer, I know what I need to do to work out, like I know it, but one thing is I'll work out and I'm like, oh, I feel like I'm doing it right. And then I'm like, you're like, you're not doing it right. And I'm like, I'm not doing this right, but I don't actually see my body, and so it feels like I'm doing it, and then he'll say it, and I'm like, oh my god, I feel the difference of that. And I think that's even with all of the information that I know of what to do and tell other people, and I can see in someone else, it's actually very hard to see yourself sometimes.

SPEAKER_06 29:46

A thousand percent.

SPEAKER_02 29:47

And so I think that's so dope of getting people that are doing it to like focus on me. Like, help me focus on me because I'm looking out, I don't see me, you know. I'm looking at all the things around me. Just how you said you see, like you want to be of service to people. I think of the same way. I'm like, I want to be service to others. So, like, sometimes you need someone to just focus on you because it it helps you see you better.

SPEAKER_06 30:09

I don't get that all the time. But yeah, that's why, you know, I've been in therapy since I was 25. So I have a leg up on most men.

SPEAKER_02 30:16

Ten years of therapy is great.

SPEAKER_06 30:19

But it's but it's but it's it's the best and the worst thing that happens to you because you're so aware of everything and you understand why everything happens. But are you okay with taking blame for everything in your life is on you, regardless of if it's no no no, regardless of whatever happens.

SPEAKER_02 30:32

I'm just gonna say you need to listen to our episode of Healing versus Hiding because we were talking about this. It's like even in my therapy, and both of us were like, oh, we're so self-aware. But being aware does not actually like get you to the other side of things. It's like, oh, I know I'm doing this because of this, because of this. And we're like, okay, so you're gonna stop doing it. I'm working on it. But am I though?

SPEAKER_06 30:56

Right.

SPEAKER_02 30:56

Again, but it's therapy gives you tools to like get to the other side and get past awareness.

SPEAKER_06 31:01

But it's just it's just again, it just goes down to what your faith is and what you believe. Like, even I was talking to one of my clients, she was like, she wants to stop smoking. I'm like, what stops you from doing it today? Literally, and it's just truly a belief that they don't feel like they can or they don't have the belief that they can do it today. Because anybody can change their life at any minute.

SPEAKER_01 31:19

At any minute you can't.

SPEAKER_06 31:21

Right, but now it figured out are you in enough pain to be able to choose something else? Or have you been self-aware enough to be like I know better, but am I going to choose better? Right. But then again, that's a daily fight in general, just to be able to hold those morals and standards and live this new life when you've been living this other life for 20 years.

SPEAKER_00 31:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 31:42

So I mean it's it's a struggle.

SPEAKER_02 31:47

I got some things to fix. I don't want to do that, you know.

SPEAKER_01 31:51

But again, like, I mean, even You asked the moon, huh? I don't know.

SPEAKER_06 31:56

But then again, it's just again, and where you put your faith again. I've again, I tell people like, as much as I sound great, it's only because I've made a lot of mistakes in my life to understand what to actually do now and what not to do. But my testimony and my life experience is for when I find other young men is to tell them what not to do. It's not what to do, it's a don't do this. Yeah, I like this and this.

SPEAKER_02 32:17

I'm still working on the other part.

SPEAKER_06 32:19

Because I've because I've learned so much and I've gotten so much further and made so many less mistakes in life because I didn't have to see I didn't have to go through it myself. I've seen other people do it. Like again, a lot of things my mom and dad didn't teach me a lot, but they taught me what not to do. And that was more important than what to do, actually, because my pops was been in jail for 20 years, don't want to do that. You know, I've seen how my mom kind of treated some people and how that resulted. Don't want to do that. So it's just like seeing how people moved and how it made people feel. I'm just like, uh uh. So once you learn, like, okay, I can't do that because this is the result and the consequence, cool. Let me just not do that, and then I'll be better. But that's the hardest thing is more stopping something that you're doing rather than doing something that you're not doing.

SPEAKER_02 33:00

Facts.

SPEAKER_06 33:01

Because you're only again we mean it's a habit already.

SPEAKER_02 33:03

It's making nature. It's like I do this.

SPEAKER_06 33:06

And there's there's only two reasons you're not where you want to be, right? Because you're doing something that you're not supposed to be doing, or you're not doing something you're supposed to be doing. That's literally as much as simple as it's easy.

SPEAKER_02 33:16

I know.

SPEAKER_06 33:16

It is, it is simple. Me and my homie.

SPEAKER_02 33:18

I don't already have my 25 mil.

SPEAKER_06 33:20

Because you're not doing something.

SPEAKER_02 33:22

I I know. I know I was a lazy girl. Like I was nah, I was a little, I don't know. I know. I'm doing it. Figuring it out. I'm doing it.

SPEAKER_06 33:29

But life life is simple, it's just it's not easy. It's literally simple to what we should be doing, but again, it's the actual doing it, it's just the hard part. Yeah. Because again, temptation.

SPEAKER_01 33:41

Yeah. Life, do you want me? You want me to do you want me to do you?

SPEAKER_06 33:46

Because again, what's what I've learned is life is be do have.

SPEAKER_02 33:51

Okay, what? Be do have.

SPEAKER_06 33:53

Be do have, right? If you want to have stuff, you have to do stuff. But in order to do stuff, you must be somebody who does the stuff, then you'll have the stuff.

SPEAKER_00 34:02

Oh, that's good. We're gonna put that on a but that's but you have.

SPEAKER_06 34:05

No, literally, like even another pastor that I listened to, uh, Myron, that's what he talks about. Like, that's not like Myron. But a lot of people are just trying to do it. That's why they can't. They'll have it for a little bit, but then they'll lose it because it's not who they are. So when we talk about changing identity in the gym.

SPEAKER_02 34:20

Oh my god, this is me.

SPEAKER_06 34:21

Right. So when you change your identity finally and you resonate with something else, that's who you are. Like, first, what like you gotta be a healthy person. Great. Now figure out what do healthy people do, and then at the end of the day, what do healthy people have? You know, good blood or low blood pressure, they have a low resting heart rate and they look good.

SPEAKER_02 34:37

No, I think that's that's actually funny because I always um I'm like a serial entrepreneur, and like, you know, when I get in life starting to happen, I'm like, oh god, I mean you make some money, so I'm gonna just do some business. Cause I'm like, oh, this money's fast, and then I can make I've made so many businesses and I actually make good money, and people are like, oh, that's ex- My therapist is talking to me. I was I have a marketing company that I hate and I'm dissolving, and I was like, Why are you dissolving? You make good money doing it. I'm like, I wanna do it. Like, I'm like, I'm serving businesses, I'm like, but it's not in the way that I want to serve, and I don't feel like it's like what I'm supposed to be doing. I was like, I don't I've built so many, I found so many ways to make businesses and make money, but if it's not aligned with like what I'm supposed to be doing, I'm like, It doesn't feel like it doesn't, it doesn't lie, I can't last for more than a year because I'm burnt out of from it. And so now I need to be like, okay, what do I want to do? Who do I want to be? And then how can I put those things together to get what I want to have? So I like that. We do have I'll put on my whi my um mirror.

SPEAKER_06 35:32

I mean it's it's again life is very simple. It's just a lot we just choose to make it complicated, and we choose to make what we find out eventually later online are mistakes that we shouldn't have made. And then a lot of people are just kind of backtracking to get back to zero instead of putting steps ahead where it's like I tell people like I work right now for my gas bill and my phone bill five years from now, not just right now. So it's like, but again, it's forward thinking because I gotta figure out how when I fear. But but when do these kids come, how stressed do I want to be? Like I feel like because my mom had me at 20, I can't imagine. I didn't have no money. So I have to figure out what quality of life do I want. Do I want to be around my kids all the time? Again, I've never had that experience because I never had a father, but I know what type of father I want to be because I've seen the father I didn't have. So it's like this is what I want to actually do. So it's just like, okay, cool, but I can't just want this. I have to actually work for it and figure out how do I put this in place to be around as much.

SPEAKER_00 36:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 36:33

Oh my this conversation is so much deeper than I thought it was gonna go. I'm over here, all emotional. No, I no, I I do want to do like a little pivot. I want to do a little pivot because honestly, I think this is so good though, because it's just which I wasn't expecting talking about how much a healthy life is so much past the gym. And I think that's it's beautiful because I don't think people think of it as like the full encompassing of life. And I think I love that even though that as you're a trainer, you're seeing it in that way because that's just the true healthiness is to have a f the five pillars that you said that if those five pillars are all healthy, then you're actually healthy. I don't think about I think people think so much of like being like I want to look a certain way, or like, oh I'm overweight a little bit, I need to do it. And I I love that you're focusing more on like a full life to be really healthy.

SPEAKER_06 37:27

I mean because most nine times out of ten, people come to me because they lack something.

SPEAKER_02 37:31

Yeah, I like a six-pack.

SPEAKER_06 37:33

But again, now it's different from like, hey, I don't have this, rather than I'm trying to have this and make it better. So there's always you only work out of two emotions in life, hate or love, and then you figure out which one do you want to kind of move towards. Because when I first got in the gym, it was honestly to get back at every girl that played me in high school.

SPEAKER_00 37:51

So it's like my sort of skinny do I roll on them.

SPEAKER_06 37:56

But literally, but that's how you but again that was moving from hate, it wasn't moving from love, right? So now it's like when you move from a different emotion, it's like, oh now I actually deserve this. I should be doing this because I love it. Exactly. Because you can't survive, like again, they have a whole show called Revenge Body. You cannot work out of that emotion for or you can only for so long. Right. Because you're doing that revenge body because somebody hurts you. But if he still don't care about you, it's not gonna fix how you feel on the inside. You can look amazing. Your job or what they trying to portray is like my revenge body will make them want me. And when they still don't want you, then what? Now how you feel?

SPEAKER_01 38:28

Yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_06 38:29

So it doesn't, it doesn't it doesn't matter. So at the same time, it's like, but again, somebody gonna want me. Exactly. But at the same time, it don't matter if you want that person.

SPEAKER_01 38:37

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_06 38:38

Women like to say, you know, if you won't do it, another man will, but you don't want that other man to be you want it from the person that you actually want it from. So it doesn't matter because anybody that don't want me.

SPEAKER_02 38:48

Right.

SPEAKER_00 38:50

First of all, I ain't 20 no more.

SPEAKER_06 38:53

But you understand everybody was in that. No, no, I know. That wasn't fake.

SPEAKER_01 38:58

I was so ick at ourselves. Oh, I just happens.

SPEAKER_06 39:04

That's that's I mean, that's life. You know, you get emotionally connected to somebody and it's hard to let go even though they don't want you and you still want them because they gave you some sense of peace. They you love them at a certain point and you don't want to let it go.

SPEAKER_02 39:15

No, I just like it. I don't think it's I don't know. I'm to me, I'm just like, oh you can love somebody without having peace. No, I don't think it's just like the peace.

SPEAKER_01 39:23

Not now. But then yeah, I mean at one point. No, I think peace is something that's just well, I think that I don't know. I peace for me is just kind of like what it is. Yeah, because I feel like you you're sitting there saying like they want your your peace, but peace doesn't have peace have to come from like being peaceful. Peaceful. See, I I'm trying to explain something without explaining it because I want to put my whole business out there. But I think everybody knows your business for I know, but no, like I feel like peace for someone else looks different than peace for me. I feel like peace for me is it has to come from both sides, like it can't just be like, I don't want no revenge, I just want someone to to to be good. Like, you know what I mean? I'm not sure. I was gonna say that's you're gonna have to go in. Just be a good person. Like no, no, no.

SPEAKER_05 40:15

What does that mean?

SPEAKER_01 40:16

Okay, it doesn't work like that. See me, hear me, understand me, like know how I need to be loved, know how I want to be treated. Like I not even no, that's not what you want.

SPEAKER_02 40:26

You don't want some them to know, you want them to do it like that.

SPEAKER_01 40:29

Do it, the action. That's perfect. Yeah, do it. I feel like then that that provides peace.

SPEAKER_02 40:34

Yeah. But I feel like people are like, oh, I want peace, but they don't want to do anything that makes a peaceful space.

SPEAKER_01 40:39

Yes, yes. So I feel like it will depend. External, what do you mean?

SPEAKER_06 40:45

Like true peace comes from inside, it doesn't come from outside.

SPEAKER_02 40:48

Buddhism that's in Buddhism, right?

SPEAKER_01 40:50

I mean, yeah, yeah, you should.

SPEAKER_06 40:53

I mean, again, again, it depends on what your faith. Like, if I believe in Jesus and they say he's the Prince of Peace, that's what I put my peace in. Now, depending on an external environment, or you're looking for a man to create a peaceful home for you or just be able to calm your nervous system, fine. But you know way before anything if he elevates your nervous system for you're not comfortable and you're not at ease, and then one that you are in that just allows you to kind of be yourself.

SPEAKER_01 41:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 41:21

So it's just like you see you're gonna see the red flags of if he doesn't bring you peace, but you're gonna have like when I tell people I'm at peace, it's like with everything because again, I know I'm in alignment from what I'm supposed to do and what I believe in and what I am put on this earth. It's not attached to an external gym, this any opportunity. That's just because I understand what I excuse me, what I believe and what my faith is in, is why I have peace. Because even a lot of people with social media and stuff is like, heck, you I'd be feeling a certain way. I'm like, no, I'm the most peaceful I've been because I understand like where I am, what alignment that I am. Even though if I cause the the havoc, I can understand, hey, apologize, it's on me, but then I can slowly transition into it being peaceful because I understand again, it's my fault that I have broken whatever home. And then again, now it's my job that I can only do better. I'm not gonna sit here and keep trying to relive uh relive the past and you know keep trying to fix my mistakes or it's like I did it. Can I get better today?

SPEAKER_02 42:19

Yeah, but so that's why I think too. I I know what you're saying, but I think even agreeing with Hector is just like you can feel if you're able to provide what I need for peace. And if you don't do that, then I don't need to expect it from you because that's not who you are. And you can have peace knowing that you're not my peace. Yeah. I mean, I because I I you know, we were talking the other day about how we feel like so in alignment right now, and it's just again wanting a specific person to do something, but when you actually know what you want, and there's the the peace and acceptance of crazy to me, like where the peace comes from for me.

SPEAKER_01 43:03

Like you are my peace right now, you know what I mean? Stop it, Amber. But I'm just saying You need to be your own peace. You're my peace. But see, but that's what that's but you're in a peaceful situation because we are aligned with how we live. So that's what I'm saying. I want in a partner because like I feel and know that I can get that from someone because I am in that environment. I am in a healthy, peaceful, loving space right now. And so I now want that in someone else. And I feel like because it's so crazy, even fitness. I have not worked out in so long, right? I come to Lex and I'm like, this you because I'm getting the support, the peace, the love that I have been begging and wanting and needing in my life.

SPEAKER_05 43:45

You're being nurtured.

SPEAKER_01 43:46

I want to, I feel so secure to where I want to go work out. I feel good about myself. The security makes me want to go look good and feel better and you know, mentally and physically.

SPEAKER_06 43:55

And so But that's dangerous, though, right?

SPEAKER_01 43:57

How is that dangerous?

SPEAKER_06 43:58

Because if she leaves

SPEAKER_01 44:00

What I no, I'm not saying that you're like but first of all, she's never leaving. Second of them but that but that's saying is really I don't think that it's like if she leaves, I think that I now know that I can a different I now know that I'm able to tap into that. Okay, and that feels good. So now if I ever am little sad little bitch sitting on the sidelines again crying and moping about life, I know that I You're not aligned. I'm not in the line, yeah. I know that I'm out of something is fucked up and I need to figure it out, you know?

SPEAKER_06 44:37

But it's nine times out of ten what you've done. Like life isn't so everybody's like, oh God removed things out of my life. No, you didn't handle what you God gave you, so it's your fault that you lost it. I'm not I'm never gonna put the blame on God. God is not like look, look, so I'm not waiting on God. Nobody, nobody waits on God. You understand? It's like God is waiting on us. If I mean being obedient is doing something, even if it's waiting, I have to do it. That's God. Imagine me, I'm not waiting on him. He is waiting on me. I have to do something, or I'm doing something I'm not supposed to do, which leads me into a space where I'm doing things I'm not supposed to be doing. That's the only reason you lose things in life. People are like, oh, God removed it. No, you were a bad person. That person was.

SPEAKER_05 45:21

I was a bad person.

SPEAKER_06 45:22

I know, I know, I know. But again, it depends on what your faith is, and did you uh go abide by the rules and the laws of whatever God has put in place? That's why I just I just had a conversation with another lady yesterday, one of my clients, and it was the oh, I'm spiritual, I'm not religious. I said, Great, let's break that down because I used to be too, right? That's just an excuse to not read whatever book you believe in. The Bible, the Quran.

SPEAKER_02 45:44

Like, first of all, I read all those and I still feel the same way.

SPEAKER_06 45:46

And that's fine, right? And that's fine.

SPEAKER_02 45:48

Whenever you're ready, I went to a religious school actually, and we had to proclaim our religion and we had to study deeply different religions.

SPEAKER_06 45:53

But that's great. Because now you get to be more informed on the stuff.

SPEAKER_02 45:56

Yeah, we had to make an educated decision versus a good thing.

SPEAKER_06 45:58

But imagine so she decided that she was like, I don't read the Bible. I said, Well then how do you have a relationship with God? Yeah. I said, What rule book do you follow? No, well then how do you know you're building a relationship? Because we were having we were talking about relationships, and like you want a man to treat you a certain way great. Well, how do you how do you tell him that? Or what do you have to tell him? Okay, but what is God telling you? You just you and at that point, most people create their own version of what God is in their head and building whatever relationship they want with him instead of the other way around. So when we follow, like, hey, if I believe in Jesus, he gives us a blueprint on how to get closer to him. I will follow that blueprint because that's what I just believe regardless of whatever.

SPEAKER_02 46:32

Well, because you like blueprints.

SPEAKER_06 46:34

But you have no choice. What what what in everything has d order? There is nothing in life that comes purposefully without order.

SPEAKER_02 46:41

I don't agree to that statement. Okay, I believe in nature. And I think Who created nature? Well, so this is why I believe in God, but that doesn't necessarily mean God of the Bible.

SPEAKER_06 46:49

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 46:50

But um nature is is wild, and nature has things that we don't understand. And I can't.

SPEAKER_06 46:54

No, no, no. That he understands, we just don't understand. No, he still has. I'm saying we. You're still understanding.

SPEAKER_02 46:58

I'm saying I say we.

SPEAKER_06 46:59

But there's still an order to it.

SPEAKER_02 47:01

Yeah. Well, see, this is my favorite thing. Go ahead. And why I like love nature and cherish nature more than anything. It's because it does. Everything has a place, and in nature, everything is like a community aspect. It's wild. And so when I studied all of the other religions, and honestly, I will say I need to reread stuff as an adult. And I actually go to church because church is a very loving space psycho. Um, but I think in that when I was studying all the religions, it goes to the golden rule. It's what I always preach, is like treat others how you want to be treated. And I think that we are like a society, like a societal creature, and we're supposed to be good to each other and work for each other. And in nature, everything has a purpose for something else. Like a tree doesn't come and bloom and get apples for it to eat. It's for the other animals to eat, it's for everything else. So I think it goes back to you saying you want to be of service, which makes sense because I I believe the same thing, but I believe that's from nature.

SPEAKER_06 47:53

Yeah, but it's still in order.

SPEAKER_02 47:54

In order.

SPEAKER_06 47:55

There's nothing that comes from chaos. And like that's what I'm saying. If it comes from chaos, it wasn't.

SPEAKER_00 48:00

It ain't for me. Exactly. Get it away.

SPEAKER_06 48:02

Right. So you either can see it and either avoid it or you partake in the chaos.

SPEAKER_00 48:06

Oh well, although I like a hurricane every now and then because some shit need to get shook up. I'm like, no, there's something shit need to get shooken up.

SPEAKER_01 48:16

I feel not.

SPEAKER_00 48:16

I feel like no God had a flood. Don't play with me.

SPEAKER_07 48:19

I'm like, on his terms, not yours. He is going to do this. He is going to do it.

SPEAKER_00 48:25

I'm like Mother Nature. She got I'm a, you know, I'm a mama too. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 48:31

I love where this conversation is going and stuff too, but I do want to get into some more technical things and stuff, especially when it comes to just like fitness and women, because I definitely think that women hide so much from like strength training. And it's so crazy to me. But like for me, I've been an athlete my whole life, and then I feel like everyone is used to talk. We're talking about how, like, oh, how do you look and feel? And like, I was getting thick, and you know, my boyfriend's just like, ooh, okay. But no, we were just doing it.

SPEAKER_07 49:01

You see the full girl. All three of them.

SPEAKER_01 49:03

Okay, boyfriends. They all boyfriends. I know. I know. I've been trying to get on that trade. I can't find my first one.

SPEAKER_07 49:10

Not follow this. Not follow this.

SPEAKER_01 49:13

My girlfriend's trying to grab the thing.

SPEAKER_07 49:15

No, not. She got enough go for no.

SPEAKER_02 49:18

I don't really have three boyfriends. I just think it. Okay, they want to be low. I believe. I believe. They do though. No, oh my god. I'm trying to get back on track here, guys. Okay. They really want to be. No, but I think, um, what was I saying? Oh, okay. So for me, I'm 35, and no, I'm not. I'm 36. I don't ever say my age anymore. Like as an adult, you say your age, you're not that much, right?

SPEAKER_05 49:47

People ask me. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 49:48

People ask you? Oh my you're a man. No, no. As a woman, like, I'm like, no one really acts. I literally always forget. But as a 36-year-old woman who's always been an athlete, and I I have one of those bodies that gets muscle easy, and I still was like looking at a picture. I'm like, oof, girl. And I'm pretty disciplined at eating. It's always been like a pretty easy area for me to just like you don't buy it, it's not in your house, you don't eat it. It's a little harder with kids. I still find that it was so much harder to just get in a routine as I'm getting older. And I think, I don't know, is it because of this is life?

SPEAKER_06 50:19

Right. Like even, but if we talk in the gym, like a lot of people are just scared to lift rates because women excuse me, they don't want to look a certain way. Yeah, I don't want to be bulky. Exactly. But if I tell you it's gonna add longevity to your life, bone density matters where if you fall, break a hip. I mean, obviously, you need to be flexible and mobile, which is why people love Pilates, but at the same time, full range, but full-range strength training is the same thing as Pilates, they're just working in-range stuff and just muscles. People just don't usually work in a gym because it doesn't give them as much as uh an aesthetic um look as they want. So it all just depends. Which like I tell people all the time, like I don't mind yoga and Pilates. I have an issue with it. If it's I have an issue with it when the goal doesn't match the action. If you're trying to look a certain way, like be lean and put on muscle, you're not gonna do it in Pilates. Unless you are very just skinny in general and you've never lifted weights before, yes, you'll get somewhere. But for the way most of these women want to look and just to have a certain amount of muscle, it's not enough resistance in there. It is hard, and yes, it's hard because of stability purposes, but that doesn't mean you are truly going to look a certain way. Yeah. So again, I don't mind it. If you're telling me, hey, I want to do Pilates because it makes me feel strong, 100%. If I want to do yoga because it's holistic, great. But if I tell people all the time, like yoga doesn't make you more flexible, right? Because there's still a flexibility, a flexibility training style where it's like, how long are you supposed to hold a stretch? How long do you think you're supposed to hold a stretch for in order to achieve flexibility?

SPEAKER_02 51:47

I I don't know.

SPEAKER_06 51:49

Just guess. Just guess. I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 51:50

I remember 10 seconds. I'm like, you know what I mean? That's like the common thing, ten seconds, hold it again.

SPEAKER_06 51:55

Which is wrong, right? Again, in order for you to bypass exactly, in order for you to bypass the nervous system, you have to hold a stretch for two minutes because you have to minutes. Exactly.

SPEAKER_02 52:05

But but if I'm trying 10 seconds, you're gonna do a switch. You gotta do hell everything, but two minutes is crazy.

SPEAKER_06 52:11

Okay, because if I ask the question, what controls how flexible you are? What do you think?

SPEAKER_01 52:16

Your body?

SPEAKER_00 52:16

I don't what do you mean? I don't even know what that means. Mind?

SPEAKER_06 52:20

There you go, right? So I have to truly make sure my nervous system is calm and relaxed in a place that it's not calm and relaxed. So how long does that take? Two minutes. Then I have to do some um, let's say, isometrics at that two-minute end range, and then I'm able to be more flexible over and over because my body and my mind has to trust me enough to get in those flexible ranges of motion. But a lot of people will tell you, oh, just do it for 10 seconds. Like, that's not achieving flexibility. You holding one pose with no contraction.

SPEAKER_02 52:48

Like, this is why when I drink, I could do things and kind of like because my mind is like no literally.

SPEAKER_06 52:55

If you were unconscious, I can take your limbs and throw them on the back.

SPEAKER_01 52:57

Oh my god, that's what it's great. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_06 53:02

But that's true. So it's like you can be as flexible as you want to be because it's the nervous system. So what so what happens is it's like an involuntary contraction that happens. Like if you try to touch your toes and your hamstrings get tight, that's your body protecting you from going any lower. Once you feel a tightness, and if not, then your your nervous system trusts you. But straighten your legs though when you do it. Okay, keep you trying to keep your legs as straight as possible.

unknown 53:25

Together?

SPEAKER_06 53:25

No, no, just just don't bend your knees. Don't bend your knees. Don't bend your knees.

SPEAKER_02 53:30

I'm like, I can do it really easy. I have long arms.

SPEAKER_06 53:32

Right. And so, and that's the thing. But her body trusts you.

SPEAKER_02 53:35

But my brain.

SPEAKER_06 53:36

Yeah, but but again, if I wanted her to go there, I would just have her hold there for two minutes. And we would just breathe and relax and just be able to bypass that nervous system. Because you have to tell your brain, I'm okay.

SPEAKER_01 53:47

You would have me what for two minutes? Just hold me.

SPEAKER_07 53:51

Hold a position for two minutes. Hold on, what?

SPEAKER_00 53:56

Are you blushing? No.

SPEAKER_07 54:01

It don't work on me. They don't work on me. Y'all so fucking.

SPEAKER_00 54:05

I know I'll be so mad. He's like, it doesn't work like that. He's like, why are you looking at me like that? You still got another round.

SPEAKER_07 54:13

I said, you can't look into my so I can look into yours, though.

SPEAKER_00 54:16

Yep, you still got another round. Go ahead. I'm like, oh.

SPEAKER_01 54:19

Oh my god, that's hilarious.

SPEAKER_07 54:21

She be trying. I'm just like, I can see I can see you, see me, see you. No, look at her.

SPEAKER_01 54:25

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_07 54:27

Mentally, this is I still gotta do it.

SPEAKER_06 54:29

You gotta be on a different level, man.

SPEAKER_01 54:31

This is when I found that your mind is so insanely like powerful. Powerful. So I my very first season of the challenge, I went in and I was like, I am gonna last maybe a week. I packed for a week. You know, I was like, I'm gonna be out of here soon. I'm a rookie, no one knows me. Um in my mind, I was like you said, I would run and cry, and I would sit in the shower and cry. And I would just the the MTL, I would talk out loud, I would manifest, I'd be like, if this is for me, use me, like blah blah blah blah. I would speak, and that's with manifestation. I wrote a letter to myself the morning of my final. Two days later, I'm walking away with my partner with a million $900,000. We gave the other that second place got $100,000. And I it was I think that two or I think there were eight of us. Yeah, eight of us in the final. And out of all the men and all the women, I was the first one across that finish line. And in my mind, I'm like, I mentally did that. How can I learn all of this within two days of like how to do this puzzle, how to kayak across this water and and a tail end of a hurricane, how to do you know what I mean? How to eat animal parts and drink blood and like all this crazy stuff. So, no, when it comes to, I feel like your mind is literally the one thing that just controls the health.

SPEAKER_02 55:56

It controls our world, like everything in this room is made from someone's minds.

SPEAKER_01 56:01

You literally have to change how you speak to yourself, what you say out loud. Even when we're at home, remember? I'll be in the shower. I am I am this, I am that. We are our podcast, is the number one podcast in the world. We are great. Blah blah blah.

SPEAKER_02 56:16

We were doing something, we're like doing a manifest and thing and I was like, I'm ever gonna have a top 10. She's like, Top 10?

SPEAKER_01 56:21

Yes, like we are number one. I'm like, you know what? We I found that like you really have to like envision it. I envisioned it, like I literally had clear thoughts that it was mine. Yeah, and so I I feel like I just need to get back to that person and just that that believing in myself. I also went through a very hard time though before I even left for that show. And I feel like if I could go through that, I'd get through fucking anything. So but yeah, I mean you think that go ahead.

SPEAKER_06 56:53

Go ahead. It's I mean, it's either gonna be pain that's gonna make you change or a big enough reward. Yeah, again, like taken. If one of y'all daughters got kidnapped, you're going to do anything and everything.

SPEAKER_01 57:03

Oh kidnapped. I'm gonna I'm gonna go woo-woo.

SPEAKER_06 57:06

But see, but that's a mental, like, we don't think about it like that, even though your child's here. If you really want 25 million, you're gonna find every way possible to go get it, but you have to create that situation in your mind, uh like a sense of urgency where it's like I need to go get it, and every day needs to be as efficient as possible if I want this. But it takes the extreme to bring the extreme out of you, so you know what level and what you're willing to do and what you're capable of. The same thing with fitness, right? Like people don't know until you get in that gym, but you also need somebody there that's gonna kind of push you because things that you may never thought you could do, you're actually no, I I agree with that.

SPEAKER_01 57:43

I think having that that partner for whatever what we what did we call it when with your accountability partner? Yeah, I think having it. Yeah, you're definitely literally that's it.

SPEAKER_02 57:56

That's why I got a trainer. It wasn't because I didn't know what to do. It wasn't because I don't know that I need to go to the gym so many times. It wasn't because I know what to eat. It's like, no, I want someone to be like, where you at? You supposed to be here.

SPEAKER_01 58:08

She'd be 9.03 eating her eggs.

unknown 58:10

Shut up.

SPEAKER_02 58:11

Trust me.

SPEAKER_07 58:13

I literally text you like how late you finna be today. Literally, I text her all the time.

SPEAKER_01 58:17

She'd be like, oh, I just love late. I'm so rushed.

SPEAKER_07 58:25

It's like, yeah, 9 30. She should try to smile.

SPEAKER_01 58:28

Hey. She really be stressed out, though. She be stressed as being like, I've done it.

SPEAKER_02 58:32

No, she's lying. I am lying.

SPEAKER_01 58:33

I'll be like, I gotta eat though. Yeah, she does. I do have to eat. She told me one day she came back and she said, I threw up. Yeah. Yo, she be talking. You be really putting her through it. Stupid limp like things.

SPEAKER_02 58:45

Yeah. Bulgarians. Yeah. Bulgarians, but it's not people.

SPEAKER_01 58:50

Um we about at the time almost. I don't know how you want to wrap it up.

SPEAKER_02 58:54

I don't know. We didn't even talk about half the things we're supposed to talk about. Um I told you it wasn't.

SPEAKER_01 58:58

I know, but I just maybe want to we like having some kind of direction. Because we'd be all over the place.

SPEAKER_02 59:04

Oh, I know. No, this is beautiful. This is a beautiful conversation for you. I don't know why you didn't believe it.

SPEAKER_01 59:10

I know. I need to come work out with you now. I feel like I need whenever you're ready. Eventually, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 59:14

Whenever you ready to get there. Oh, I actually I do want to ask one more question.

SPEAKER_01 59:18

Yeah, go ahead.

SPEAKER_02 59:18

And then it is the GLP1 Olympic question. I I do want to talk about it because I feel I'm such a naturalist, and like when it comes to like I'm like anti-surgery, not like I'm pro-choice, do what you want to do with your body, but also that's because you look like that. So I have I have two caveats. I always say two caveats. I so I say, Oh, I'm anti-surgery, and I'm like, Well, one, I I'm asked aesthetically what is acceptable, so I don't like to judge anyone, but then two, the other side of it is like I'm actually scared of the trauma that it does to your body. And at this point of having a kid, every time I've paid for boobs three times, and every time it comes to be surgery, I'm like, but just what if? And I'm like, I can't leave the world, I can't leave my daughter without a mom for boobs. Yeah. Like, what if my mom died with getting breast implants? And so it always stops me. But again, I'm still aesthetically with people that love or whatever, you know?

SPEAKER_01 1:00:13

You have great boobs, by the way.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:14

I no, I just want bigger ones. Yeah, I didn't say them was cute. But why? Because I love big titties.

SPEAKER_06 1:00:19

Why though?

SPEAKER_02 1:00:20

I just like them, like they bounce, like I don't know. I I actually do love to look at them.

SPEAKER_06 1:00:24

Like your own?

SPEAKER_02 1:00:25

Well, big ones.

SPEAKER_06 1:00:27

Okay, but your own. Like it's different.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:28

No, I like my I like my own boobs. I have like a very um nice boobs, like it's a good shape, they're perky and all those things. And I got piercings, good nip knives, everything.

SPEAKER_06 1:00:36

Right, but now it depends on like it depends.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:39

But I actually do like big ones. I believe everybody's exactly. I'm like, oh, look at those.

SPEAKER_06 1:00:45

But it's different when it how innately is it tied to your identity, right? That's when it becomes dangerous, where it's just like, okay, we're taking GLP ones for what? And are you actually prescribed them or are you just getting them because it's an easy fix to lose weight? Like, obviously, there are things guns were meant to kill people that were bad people in general. We just always take tools. Again, plastic surgery was meant for soldiers who got their face blown off.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:11

It wasn't for kids that are born with their formative.

SPEAKER_06 1:01:13

And so, but it wasn't for like, oh, this imperfection right here, let me just go fix this. But we took that into plastic surgery, and now that you know you can fix everything about yourself, but that's fine. I don't mind if you do that. It's just don't tie your identity to everything of how you look. It's always about who you are rather than what you look like.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:29

I know people trying to remove their boobs after years of having them. Oh, like the plant implant. Yeah, yeah. Oh, you don't want any boobs? I don't know. My mom be like, cut these things off. You got big boobs though, don't you? Yeah, she got big boobs. She wants them redo the reduction.

SPEAKER_06 1:01:43

At the same time, I tell people like, go get surgery, go get what you think you wanted that's going to you think is gonna make you feel like it is, but again, is the risk worth the reward? Some people are a lot of people are willing to take that risk.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:55

Yeah, so no, because I would definitely know when I like when I was pregnant and I had big boobs, and people would people would stop looking in my eyes and they start looking down, I'm like, yeah, you see, that's I like that. I like that. But then again, it always goes back to risk reward. And I'm like, the one I'm like when you're signing the paper and they're like, you might die. Yeah, you might die.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:14

It's like I don't I don't really think titties are worth dying anymore. And then you can't even have them, you can't even look at them after you're like, I didn't even get to enjoy these things. You have some nice titties. You look down on your titties in the in the casket. Oh, you look good.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:32

I mean, you're right. Some people, the reward is worth it for them, especially in the age where you profit so much of looking a certain way.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:38

Here's my thing is does your diet diet is the most important, one of the most important things for fitness? Or the no no?

SPEAKER_06 1:02:45

It depends on what your goal is. Like it's too broad of a question. Uh huh. Or you just want to be healthy, you literally just have to pick the right foods.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:51

I want to be healthy and look good.

SPEAKER_06 1:02:53

Okay, but I think I'm gonna pay. It's a it depends on what level of how good do you want to look. Like you have to show me what you want to look like, and then I can tell you because I have to reverse engineer everything. It's like, okay, I want to look like this. Well then it takes this, this, this, this. I can't just be like, I only want to do these things. I can't, I don't I I need to know more information. People just don't ask enough questions to do that.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:13

Right. I think I'm just at the age in my life where I just want to like longevity. I want like uh mobility, like I want to be able to like years from now with my kid, you know, like I want more children, like you know, I I'm at that that place in life, I guess.

SPEAKER_06 1:03:29

But I would just tell you to keep moving, like regardless. Find the physical activity that you like to do, do it every day. Right, and then just obviously don't overeat and just you know, just stay active. Like it's it's really that simple. Weight loss is like when we talk about nutrition, people just overeat. So what do I tell them to do? Move more, eat less. Yeah, like I think that's just healthy in general. Now, fitness is more like okay, you gotta do these lifts to look a certain way, you gotta eat this amount of food. So it's like levels of like how that's gonna cut down. Exactly. So it's not just one level of doing it. It's like what does healthy look like to you?

SPEAKER_01 1:03:59

And everyone's an individually, it's it's gonna be different.

SPEAKER_06 1:04:02

I think look-wise or goal-wise at least. Everybody has a baseline of just moving right, eating whole foods, getting good sleep, not stressing so much, drink your water. Like that's just healthy across the board. Now we just like to take it to different levels because we like to look good, and then again, depending on what our doctor says, we'll fix that. But most of that is just with diet and lifestyle. It's not even actually getting in the gym, it's just being active, going on walks, um, playing some pickleball these days. Like, I don't I don't care what people do, as long as they move their body, they'll be healthy.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:30

Do you think I can fix my like one long arm?

SPEAKER_06 1:04:32

Yes, easily.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:33

You said I have what again?

SPEAKER_05 1:04:35

Nothing. Just your scap doesn't move as good as it can. What's a sc is that a muscle? Don't see my hair.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:40

Are my hair under my arms?

SPEAKER_05 1:04:42

No, not that much. Okay. Just shoulder blades again.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:46

How that's that's fixable though, right?

SPEAKER_06 1:04:48

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:49

Oh, it's like one like thing is like tighter or something.

SPEAKER_06 1:04:52

Yeah, so I mean, if I just take you through a couple like shoulder cars, it might be able to elongate and it might reach the same. I mean, but none of our bad.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:59

We've recently found out that this arm doesn't move for me at all. Oh god, it doesn't go nowhere. I thought it was moving.

SPEAKER_06 1:05:05

I literally had to show her a video, like something is wrong.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:08

That's crazy that you can like point those things out and though.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:11

Yeah, but because and it's honestly funny because again, I'm like so good a trainer because I'm like, I'm it's moving. And he's like, No, you don't want to pull this. I'm like, no, it's like no video.

SPEAKER_06 1:05:21

I'm like, what is this?

SPEAKER_02 1:05:22

And I'm like, oh yeah, it's yeah, but it's so crazy that I think that's my biggest takeaway from everything too, is like full fitness, it's really just having a coach. Yeah, and some area to like really see you because you don't see you. You're always the only time you ever see yourself is in a reflection, you don't ever actually get to see you. So maybe like bring someone in to your work.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:42

I know, like they're so where can we find you?

SPEAKER_06 1:05:45

Yeah. On Instagram, it's train with heck. I think it's something on TikTok, but other than that, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:51

Yeah, near Chicago, anyone out there looking for a trainer? But he also does online things, yeah. Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_06 1:05:57

But people need to they want to be this close because you No, people like you cry.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:01

No, it's connection. I feel like we we're all about our community. So like I'm so happy you're part of it. Um, I hope one day I can get a workout in. Yeah, whenever you can very easy.

SPEAKER_05 1:06:10

She can come, you can go with her. I can come with her one day. Yeah, for sure. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:14

All right.

unknown 1:06:15

Okay, okay.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:16

I'm excited. Oh, Hector, it was nice meeting you.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:20

Yeah, well, let's continue this conversation in our community because you know, I was really happy where this episode went where we kind of dived into how much important fitness is for your whole entire life and not just in the gym and past the kitchen too. So I'm uh I really want to deep dive in that in the community and talk about how we can be fully fit all way around. Right. All right, with that, thanks until next time, everybody.

SPEAKER_03 1:06:44

Bye y'all.