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Occasionally Perfect
Occasionally Perfect is a podcast hosted by Lexsi Lewis for honest conversations about evolving, aligning, and figuring it out as we go. New episodes every Tuesday!
Occasionally Perfect
The Small Stuff That Changes Everything
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The life you actually want probably isn't hiding behind some massive overhaul. It's one tiny, consistent shift away. Lexsi and Amber are getting into the small changes that quietly rewired everything.
We love to romanticize the big transformation moment, the dramatic decision, the rock bottom, the full reset. But if you look at what's actually different about your life from a year ago, it's usually the small stuff. The three-day workout schedule instead of six. The book on your pillow. The tablet timer that stopped the bedtime battles.
Lexsi and Amber break down the specific habits they've added, the ones they've dropped, and why consistency beats intensity every single time. They also get into the 7-21-90 rule for turning actions into a lifestyle, play a round of overrated vs. underrated habits (cold showers, 5AM wake-ups, vision boards ), and get real about the mindset shifts that changed more than any habit ever could.
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Hey, it's your girl Lexi Lewis. And it's your girl Amber Borzotra. And welcome to another episode of Occasionally Perfect.
SPEAKER_00So most people think change happens through like these big moments or a dramatic decision, a huge life overhaul, or just like hitting rock bottom. But when we look back at the things that actually change our lives, a lot of times it's those small things, small habits, small boundaries, small shifts in how we move throughout our days. So the things that didn't feel life-changing at the time, a lot of times months later, you look up and realize your life looks completely different. So today we're gonna talk about the small changes that quietly change everything.
SPEAKER_01Honestly, this is somewhere where I am at and I'm not mad at myself about it, but change is I think I really wanted to talk about this episode because I really started to do these small changes that have actually made a difference in my life.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, yeah. Why do you think I feel like when we want to have changes, so it's like usually we feel like oh, it has to be this big thing. Why do you think it is that we're always so dramatic? Like, I need to change everything.
SPEAKER_01Oh my cause you we're human. Like we want, you know, when you want something like I hate, first of all, I hate baking something I really like because I just want it to be done right away. So I'll sit there and sometimes I'll put it on a higher temperature so it'll cook faster. Oh my goodness. And I burn it. Oh my gosh, ask anybody like the holidays. I'll be cooking baking something, not cooking. Burn it always. Oh, I just want it to be done because I love sweets so much. But that's how I look at these little like I cannot believe you right now.
SPEAKER_00Everyone knows baking is like you have to follow the instructions exactly. You need to do a patience exercise first, too.
SPEAKER_01Ask people holiday season, holiday time, any Christmas, Thanksgiving, any that when I'm baking, everyone's playing games. I'm just like, my mind goes there. I I rush it. And I feel like it's so dramatic because we want to. I feel like most of us want to be better humans. Like, I want to be the best version of myself. I want to be good to the people around me. So you think you gotta change everything?
SPEAKER_00And I feel like I have to change everything. I don't know. I feel like once I go through the thought process of like, I got this is wrong and this is wrong, this is wrong. I just want to change everything. I'm like, okay, I I don't like my friends, I don't like where I live, I don't like, I don't like my neighbors. Like, I just I don't everything. So I just think about all when I get into that cycle of it, I just start thinking about all the things. So I'm like, I need to change everything. And I think it's just me being extra.
SPEAKER_01I'm the same way, like it's just like it is kind of we are dramatic over it.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I don't think there's ever been a time in my life if I was honest that like I hated everything. I didn't like a lot of things, but I'm like, I feel like it's just you get in that cycle of like, oh, this sucks, this sucks, this sucks. And yeah, you just gotta do that big, big over overhaul of everything.
SPEAKER_01Like, have you ever I know I'm this person, have you ever been that person where it's like you start that change because you don't feel it like implanting somewhere in your life or like fitting in your life yet somewhere, or like that it's like you don't start the change yet? No, say you start the change, okay, but it's like you're not making it that routine. You're not like putting it into routine. Like that's the hard part for me.
SPEAKER_00Like you start a new hobby and you just don't keep doing it.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, like change, like the habit. It's not being consistent. Yeah, I guess I should say. Yeah, yeah. The consistency of the the habit. So like I I'm really hard, like I know I have really good discipline. I mean, I haven't had sex in like 10 months. Um, but um at the same time, like I and when it comes to like change and habits and like the littlest things are so easy, yeah, I I struggle. Yeah, I don't know. Consistency is hard for me.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I really feel like because of how we weren't on that big change, it is hard to say, oh, if I do this, it's actually gonna give me what I want. I just think you just you're like, oh, it's not that big of a deal. Yeah. But even now is the first time in working out that I've only done three days a week. Because usually when I say, Oh, I want to get in shape, I go six days. And this is the longest because of having a trainer where I'm like, oh, these three days, I'm seeing a difference in three days. Yeah. And if it was just me though, if I wasn't doing six days, I'd be like, This, I'm not doing this, is not enough. This is not enough. I need to be six days, I need to be on all in. That's not really with my life schedule, that's not sustainable for me to do six days, but it is sustainable for me to do three days, and I've been seeing that change. And I've never been like that because I'm an all-in type of person. I'm like, no, I gotta again change everything.
SPEAKER_01So, do you think people underestimate consistency?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, yeah, for sure. For sure. Yeah, because exactly what I just said, because it's like, how could this one little thing change everything or change this habit so much? And I also think, too, of us doing one small thing in different areas is also the thing because it's like we're trying to be consistent and like 25 new things.
SPEAKER_01Girl, oh I've been that girl that's like wanting to be everything at once, like when it comes to whatever. So I totally get that. Like, yeah, and yeah, take it one day at a time, yeah.
SPEAKER_00Because if you don't, you'll get you get burned out. It takes so much for your brain and everything to say, okay, I'm gonna do this new thing. And I think it's a lot of focus, honestly. Yeah, I was just gonna say, because it's not second nature yet, so it's like constantly every day, I'm like, okay, I'm gonna be really strict with my e-b. Okay, I'm gonna be really strict with how I schedule my days, and I'm gonna be really strict about washing my doing my face routine. I'm gonna be really strict about my hair routine. I'm gonna be really strict about like there's so if you do that, like the whole new year, new me type of energy.
SPEAKER_01The this new book I'm reading, I literally, that's one thing I really wanted to start doing is reading more. Um and I've had to put it in front of me. Like I've literally I'm gonna lay it on my pillow. I'm going to put it in my bag, my purse, my whatever. I'm gonna hold it while I'm walking. Like, but um that small habit has making me finally finish a book. Yeah and honestly a week, and I don't do that. So um I I I do see that like I can start there and see that I can do stuff, do make that one change in something. I know I can do it elsewhere. So it is easy.
SPEAKER_00I just saw a guy that um that he reads all the time, and he's like, one of his biggest his biggest things is that there's like the check of like when you go out of the house, I got my phone, got my wallet. Yeah, that I don't know if there's usually like a check. Keys, that's it. I just add a book to it, and I'm like, yeah, so when I have my little downtime and I have my moment instead of scrolling up my phone, I just put my book on, I just read five pages. And I'm like, Yeah, that's so good when you want to read more because I feel it's so easy to be like, I don't have time to read because you have to set out like this big block of time to do it, and then just instead of making it, I can just do it while I'm scrolling and just do a couple pages.
SPEAKER_01Right, but we have time to like scroll, then you definitely have time to pick up a book.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I I love that I was like, Oh, I want to start doing that because uh I'm I think well, Livia, my daughter has a couple classes where they're just 30-minute classes, and I never even just been a 30-minute reader, so me being oh, I could just do 30 minutes, but yeah, I love I love the idea of okay, just a little bit. It was okay.
SPEAKER_01It is nice. I think I did it for the first time this past Sunday. Remember, I can I told you I came home and I started crying over a book. I was like, I went to this cafe to actually work. And I I know I wouldn't be on my phone and I wouldn't be on the laptop, whatever. When I got there, I looked around and I was just like, I'm gonna read this book that's just sitting in here with these electronics. I'm not gonna, I'm gonna be away from any social media, any work, anything like that. And it felt so good. It was like it honestly kind of like my made my thoughts also kind of like calm down a bit. And I didn't realize reading kind of like drove my focus to Yeah, to focus. To focus. Like to like, I was just like, ooh, yeah, I did have to kind of read the page at least 10 times because I was in a busy place and I was listening to all the noise, and I don't do very well and like stuff like that. I wonder if it is just because I'm really, really just I don't know.
SPEAKER_00No, but you actually have a hard time focusing. So I'm really glad that you're gonna start reading because it there's certain types of games just and puzzles and stuff. I actually just looked up recently of like ways to improve your focus, and and reading is one of it because it is of just pulling yourself back to that page as long as you're pulling yourself back.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, it was nice. It's something new, it's definitely a habit. And then I didn't even know this was this is look, we're here talking about these habits. Also, you this morning were like Lexi and her breakfast, y'all. She has the same thing every morning: a bed of lettuce, some boiled eggs.
SPEAKER_00Well, before they were like friendly or there's eggs, bacon, and avocado and tomato.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. She said, It's so much easier to cook the bacon in the oven and boil the eggs.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, like and don't use oil. I don't know how I wasn't doing it before. No, but I literally make the same breakfast every day. And then the but then also I feel rushed when I'm doing it because I'm frying it and then I'm like looking at it and waiting and I have to flip it and all that stuff. But when I just throw it in the thing to boil and I throw it in the oven, I'm like, oh my god, I can still go do all my things and I can get ready in the morning still, and then it'll be ready. I don't have to sit over it for 10 or 15 minutes. It's it's such a little thing where I'm like, oh, I'm saving 15 minutes and it's healthier. Anywhere where I can save time and it's healthier, it's more efficient and it's healthier and less dishes. Oh, this habit is so. Oh my gosh, it's so nice. Yeah, I feel like I have so many little habits just recently that I'm really liking or like shifts that I made because I'm a like habitual lifestyle changer. I'm always like looking for ways to be more efficient, or if something's just changing in the time, I'm like, something's not working. This isn't working. And so I'm always looking for something. Like another big change in my mothering is just having limits on Livia's tablet. I had times where it was designated on our schedule, but that's so I'm editing something longer or writing something more, and so it's so easy for me to get off of she just is on the longer or whatever. And now that I am like, stop being lazy, just sit and take the time and just put the program it in so it automatically goes off. And she hasn't fought with me at all about that. I know it's been nice. And it's like she when I tell her, I usually give her a warning, like, hey, it's a five-minute warning, and she's like, Okay, and then when that seven minutes, ten minutes has passed, then I tell her to go off and it's always a fight. And now she's just can I have more time? And I'm like, nope, it's already off.
SPEAKER_01And she's like, Okay, and then she just yeah, and it's somewhat low now. When she comes home, she starts with her chores because she knows she can't even have that till she Yeah, it's been in her habit.
SPEAKER_00Like that little team, that little change of like no, you do this first and that it's like we're not yelling anymore. Yeah, it made a huge difference. I still say things ten times, but not those things.
SPEAKER_02Those were the things that you were saying on the time note.
SPEAKER_00Not those things, yeah, just other things, but it is working. Oh, it's so great.
SPEAKER_01It's so great. I think the only one we need to get in check next is little Miss Sunny.
SPEAKER_00Well, that's she's a toddler. Good luck. Good luck. Oh my god. What what do you think is a habit that you have that was so small of a change and you it kind of made a really big difference?
SPEAKER_01Oh my gosh, this is a good one. I think that keeping surple certain people in my everyday life or just in life in general, to where it was very like uh anxious, it always made me feel anxious or like walking on the eggshells or questioning things. As soon as I made the change to not feel or deal with that anymore, to deal with those people, yeah, just to to keep I was keeping away because I'm such a people pleaser. Anyone can like do anything, and but as soon as I just cut that off and I made the habit to align myself with people kind of on the same path as me and like my same circle, I became so much happier. Yeah, I became lighter, I didn't feel drained. Uh-huh. I felt kind of like I could I don't know, I had more time for myself.
SPEAKER_00Like it was really it was really well just being around people that are pouring you too important to you too, because I I was gonna say that too for myself. My dating life has been so much better in my 30s than ever was in my 20s, and I was just like, yeah, I only I make it a habit to only be around people that are obsessed with me. Like, I mean, I'm not saying we can't have disagreements or we can't, you know, like we can't let's talk, but like conversations are always respectful when it's oh I didn't like this, but it's not like you are terrible.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, yeah, you don't want your person to be obsessed with you.
SPEAKER_00Um somehow people pleasers end up with mean people.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I think that's the perfect thing. I stopped people pleasing. That was the biggest well stop being around people that you had to be that because I think it's more like if I'm a giver, I'm gonna be around givers.
SPEAKER_00If I want to be thoughtful and caring, I need to be around other people that are thoughtful and caring. Because then it's not people pleasing to the extent of I'm putting all my needs at one because people are gonna around me are worried about me too. So it's more like a nice flow of energy versus like a taking.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, yeah. So why do you think that we wait for the perfect moment then to like start any of these habits? Oh, why why I know sometimes you have to change like I'll be like, okay, Monday, I'm gonna start this. Yeah. Like, why do I have to wait till it's like certain. I don't know why my brain tells me, like, okay, like I'm gonna Well we just have to prepare for this change. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00For sure. Until you're uncomfortable enough, or the thing that you want to change is a need. I know I should eat better. I know I shouldn't drink so much. I know this, I know that, you know, but it's like you're not uncomfortable enough to care to change, or you don't want something enough. I feel like, especially for me, I'm in a phase where I'm really want to reach a certain level of success that I have not had. And there is a handful of things that I know that all of my coaches, all of my mentors have done they're like, these are the things I do. And it's a repeated formula for tons of people, and I see it all the time, then I just don't do it. And I'm like, then I can't wonder then if I if I know all these people that have what I want and they're telling me this is what they do, and I'm just choosing not to do it. That falls on you, yeah.
SPEAKER_01I'm the kind of person that starts 10 things at once and doesn't finish any of them. Yeah. So that's why I don't feel like I've ever been where I want to be.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, yeah. I think being in a space too where it's just I'm gonna change this small thing. And again, just actually being in a space where you can start to realize, like, oh honestly, today of me realizing that my breakfast is so much easier and healthier. Cause I was literally making them sorry, I'm really stuck on this, but I was really uh annoyed that I was using my oil every day because um Hector had put this video and it was talking about how much your calories go up just by putting cooking with oils. And I'm oh my god, I cook with oil all the time. I don't know how I didn't think of it then, but just doing it, I'm like, oh I know, and it tastes it tastes great.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, you know, always you always know the eggs are gonna come out the same way. Yeah, bacon isn't gonna be burnt. Well, maybe sometimes. But I know sometimes those eggs will be smoking. Yeah, it's just I don't know. It's just yeah, so we ain't cooking like that no more. Yeah, no, no, we finally are making that honestly, too. I love that we both are bedmakers. I think that if anyone wants to start an easy habit to see if they can even do anything, just start with a bed.
SPEAKER_00This is so interesting to me because why? I just I know people don't make their bed every morning. I just don't understand them.
SPEAKER_02I don't understand you people that don't make your bed every morning. It could be.
SPEAKER_00It doesn't even I there's so many like studies like oh, if you make your bed every morning, you're this kind of whatever. I'm like, I was definitely a shit show and I was always making my bed. I don't know. Oh my god. I can't fathom not having my bed. Is that something you've always done though as a kid? I've always done everyone I know always. I did talk to a guy once and he didn't make his bed, and I was just so it was like an ick for me. It's like you don't make your bed. He was successful and he was nice, and I was just like, You don't make your bed every morning. I didn't realize that that was an ick for me, but it's just so second nature to me. But they do say they're like this is a great daily habit to you know cleanse your space, and I don't know, because clutters blood. It gets you up, honestly. I just have always done it. I don't know how you guys are we'll start there. Yeah, you guys, if you're not doing that, you should definitely start making your bed. It's interesting too because I always feel like at least me when I'm trying to be a new person, I so much focus on like career. And I think the tweak with Livia, the tweak with my food, all of these things are making my life better, and I don't really think of oh, these are small habits I can change in different areas, yeah. And that's interesting to me because I guess it goes with my mind, my peacefulness, and then my career. But I don't ever think of, is there a better habit I can have as a mother? Is there a better habit that I can have as a friend?
SPEAKER_01Because you are great in all those areas.
SPEAKER_00No, no, no, no. I'm not a great friend. I'm a great friend if you're close. I'm not a great friend if you're far. And I definitely need to get in a better habit of checking on my faraway friends, especially that majority of my close friends aren't close anymore. That's hard for me. I do want to be better at checking in. Because we do have that thought. These are my best friends, and when we're when we don't see each other, it's fine or whatever. But then also, how good is it when you have someone that just randomly checks in on you?
SPEAKER_01I know. I told someone recently that I need to do better. One of my friends is pregnant right now, and she was definitely there for me. Like, oh yeah, I heard you telling you. Yeah, and I was just like, I was sitting there thinking, yeah, we're far away now, even though I was like in the same place, but I still need to do better. I told her I was like, I'm so sorry. I was like, I am definitely gonna do better because it does it, yeah. I do want to be that person. Like, you know, it does feel good to do that for somebody.
SPEAKER_00Do you have a habit that you have started that has improved your mental health? Taking my meds every day.
SPEAKER_01Thanks. I I decided to actually stick to it. Yeah. I when I very first started on Lexa Pro, this was like this is like a while ago. The first time you ever took it? The first time I ever took it. I was like, oh, hell no. I was like, I like to feel myself, I like to cry, I like to just go through whatever, whatever. So I got off of it and I was going through the motions again. But when I stuck to it, you're like, oh, this is what it was supposed to do. I was like, who is she? You know, like I made it it even it boosted my confidence, it made me want to get outside more, it made me want to go to the gym, it made me want to be the like best person that I can be. And I it's just it just because it helped me balance that. Yeah, yeah. My it turned my it helped me kind of shut my brain down for a little bit in the anxious thoughts and the anxious feeling of things. Um, and yeah, and honestly, I was in a very, I was very dark depression state. It was just very bad. Um so I think that that was probably the I would say recent and biggest thing, and I have to thank you for that. As I feel like God, I I felt like when I very, very, very first came here, I was a totally different person. I was so lost, I was so confused. I had just lost my family. I had my daughter wasn't with me yet, and I just I had to figure that out financially. Things were not the best. And the day that I literally just like went out in the street, I just like had a panic attack, and I came back and you hugged me. And like it literally was like the best hug I've ever felt in my life because we just stood there in the kitchen and and held each other for a minute. I really needed that in that moment. And then the next day talking to you about it being okay to like talk to someone and about not feeling okay and not being okay. And I remember the very next day I got an appointment because of you, I got an appointment. I was able to talk to a doctor, and the first thing I said to hers, I was like, I'm not okay. And for everyone to realize around me that it's okay, and like to let me know that it's okay to not be okay and be there for me in that moment. Thank you. Um, making that small change to even come here and like allow someone that truly loves me um and has known me for a while for so long. Like a decade. Yeah, a decade. Yeah, I really needed that. And I sometimes I question myself, I'm like, why am I even here in Chicago? But nothing bad has come out of it yet. So like I don't want to leave. And I I love it here. I feel like being in the busy city's been nice too. But yeah, I feel like honestly, sticking to Lexapro and I have hydroxine, which is calms me when I feel that panic attack, or like my mind just doesn't shut off, or I just feel I think take that one edge off. Um, but it's like it's that has probably been my biggest change.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, and biggest, like it's just a daily habit of taking it too. Yeah, but I think I'm like you, I'm very much like anti-big pharma. So you're just trying to get my money, you just trying to keep me sick. I don't know. I see all these lawsuits that y'all gotta pay out. Like, I'm not messing with y'all, so don't try to sponsor it. I'm just saying it. But um, but I also do know that things help people for me with my ADHD. I was so I want to figure out how to do it by myself, but my mind just runs without Adderall. I don't take it all the time, so I just take it when I need to like focus on a certain specific task. And yes, that being able to focus, oh my god, yeah, I can finally get from point A to point B, and I could say, Okay, I'm gonna sit down, I'm gonna do this, and I do it. Makes a difference in your everyday life. Oh my god. So yeah, that's definitely a good habit. For me, my my mental health thing is definitely meditating because I'm very aware of I'm starting to get annoyed, and half of me being annoyed is because I'm this thing. About something, so I need to take a minute and just breathe, and then I say my I said breathe and meditate, and I literally say gratitude things I'm grateful for, like 10 minutes, and I'll say thankful for my home, I'm thankful for my loving family, I'm thankful that I'm cute. Like, yeah, yeah, yeah. So whenever I feel myself getting annoyed or irritated, whatever, I'm just like, why am I even thinking about these things when I have so many things to be grateful for? So I literally take 10 minutes and just say my gratitude things, and I I don't think I've ever left a 10 minutes of saying my gratitude where I'm not in a better mood. I might not be like the happiest, whatever again, but I'm not. I'm literally, whatever the irritation was, I'm over it. I have the opportunity to even figure this out. At least I even support like if I have a problem and I'm like, you know what? I have the support where someone's gonna help me, or I have the knowledge of who to go to, or I have at least I have time to think about it. This, you know what I mean? So when I get into that, oh my god, my whole day will change from that habit. That 10 minutes of like, wait, girl, and being grateful, and being grateful. Like you said, in the bathroom, I have gratitude, and that's my thing every morning is I sit, I literally always say things to be grateful for, and that that's how I'm so annoyingly optimistic, have it.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, no, that's it.
SPEAKER_00Like it's literally um like oh I'm thankful, right?
SPEAKER_01No, we are definitely surrounding our kids with these healthy habits, you know what I mean?
SPEAKER_00I know I just have a funny Olivia story. Um I make her do breathing when she gets like big angry, and it's funny because uh we she was with her friends at school and they were getting someone was getting big angry, right? Like the oh whatever. And she was like, You just gotta breathe, you just gotta breathe. And the person was like, I don't wanna breathe. Oh, Livy. But it's just like knowing that you have something to cope with, and like this is how and she'll she'll tell me that too. She's like, I don't want to do that right now, I wanna do it right now. I'm like, Well, I'm not talking to you till you do, and then she'll have her fit, she'll have her big anger, then she'll finally get to the point where she can do her breaths, and then she'll come and talk to me. You should feel every type of emotion. If you're angry, you should feel angry, but then you have to know what to do with it, and just the fact that our kids are gonna have a process to go through, right? Versus just go in your room and shut up. That might be the first part of the process.
SPEAKER_02We're gonna start there.
SPEAKER_01But then breathe. Yeah, no, I honestly too. I feel like it's just been a lot of a lot of change and a lot of growth, but we all of us are definitely in better spaces than where we were. So I'm the little habits that we have put in has led us to even be able to bring these receipts and like let others know, hey, it does work. Yeah. And something I did want to speak on real quick is the I started when I was looking over all this, uh, I started looking into uh the 72190 rule. And so basically, like you make something a habit until it becomes a lifestyle. And I definitely need to do that. I need to literally and only start with one thing. Yeah. That's my thing. I was like, I'm gonna all of a sudden do all these changes at once. So this time, and I'm gonna let you hold against me. Sugar. Wait, you're doing sugar now. We're gonna do sugar now. And I'm gonna put this out there. I thought, wait, no, we're doing reading a book first. We can start with there too, but I need to be held accountable by you or sugar. I want everyone out there. If I say it on camera, it means I have to do it. I know that's what I'm saying. For sugar or sugar.
SPEAKER_00This I'm saying for clarity.
SPEAKER_01For clarity, for once uh yeah, for clarity.
SPEAKER_00We're gonna No sugar how long I can have it once a week. You can have it once a week? You want to start that big? You should do opposite, I think. Remember what we talked about?
SPEAKER_01This is taking it away one day, yeah.
SPEAKER_00So this is like for food. One of my biggest well, first of all, I've been vegan, I'm not vegan now. Um, but I've had multiple years where I'm just like, I'm vegan for the year, or I've been vegan for two years the longest I was. But anyways, I'm very disciplined when it comes to taking food out of stuff. But I think one way that I've noticed when I used to train people that would be the most efficient is to just start with a couple days. Because if you only have one cheat day, I feel like then you don't change exactly to what you said to a lifestyle. And if you want it to be part of your lifestyle versus you just want to do it for 90 days, it's different. But I feel if you want to have something part of your lifestyle, incrementally put it into your life. So not so drastic.
SPEAKER_01This is the dramatic stuff I'm talking about.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, you love sugar and you want to do it, so it's like, okay, look, I think you should have two days a week where you're on Mondays and Tuesdays or whatever day you choose, I don't do it. Like I no matter what, I don't care if I'm at a carnival, I don't care if it's my birthday, I don't care if it's Sunny's birthday. Mondays and Tuesdays or whatever day you choose are the days where you don't do it. Okay. And then you're conscious because on the other days, when you're kind of like, oh, I'm kind of getting used to not. I don't actually need it today. But if you do have it, you don't have this anxiety about it, like, oh, I cheated, and oh, I did it, or whatever. We're gonna start there then. Just do it. So what days? What days do you not eat?
SPEAKER_01Okay, so I the kids are home all the time on the weekends. I feel like I have to definitely have it on a weekend because we be snacking. That's fair. So, but I would say I could do I I won't do it Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursdays. Let's do three days Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday. Okay, so Monday, Tuesday. Why don't you just do Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday? Yeah, when Sunday's okay. We'll do Tuesday, Wednesday. I can focus on that.
SPEAKER_00I don't know. Because then it's like content days, filming days, and then just restart it. Okay. Perfect. Okay. That's where we're starting. I love how I say pick one day, and then she's still like, we'll get it after some more. Okay, but so sugar. Wait, what about the reading though?
SPEAKER_01The reading, I I feel like I do need to every night when we do our reading with the girl, the girls do this. Yeah. I think that's when I need to do my reading. Same. It's nice to have it with me because I did find it nice to like shut off from like the world around me when I was out the other day and be able to sit and read. Yeah. Like I'm going on a flight after this, read them. But I do want to make sure that if I'm not going on a flight, that it's tonight, I'm reading. You know what I mean? Like I I think if I know, okay, I'm laying down for bed right now, this is what I need to do. Like I said, I have to put that dang book on my pillow.
SPEAKER_00I like it. Okay. That's no sugar reading nightly. Even if it's just 10 minutes. Yeah. 10 minutes. I think that's a good thing too. I feel like I have to block out this big time. Like, I gotta make sure I have all this time or whatever. Even when you're starting to work out, maybe I just go in for 20 minutes and I get 20 minutes of stuff. If I'm not doing nothing, 20 minutes is an improvement.
SPEAKER_03Uh-huh.
SPEAKER_00You know, I think like that is like we don't need to have it to be everything changed. Wait, what you said, seven, what's the thing? Seven, twenty-one, ninety. That's good. Because it's like, this is how many days were you thinking about it? Then this is a habit, but then this at 90 days it's a lifestyle.
SPEAKER_01And so I think that's a good thing. The foundation. You kind of start the foundation of it and then seven days that to see how you can manage it. Yeah. Seven days, and then you build the habit a little bit more and you realize, okay, I've actually this is an everyday part of my everyday routine. Yeah. And then by 90 days, it becomes a habit. Yeah. It becomes a lifestyle, not even.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, but I like that because that's the point of most new things that you want to implement. It's like I want to be part of my life where it where it is second nature.
SPEAKER_01So, oh yeah, I like that. So, yeah, we gotta start out. So, I think by 90 days, I'm not gonna have to have sugar.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Okay. Ever? No, not ever, of course not. I definitely get the munchy. Oh, but you can do like a a weekend weekdays, you don't have sugar, then weekends you have sugar, you know.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, definitely though, like my period's about to come on, and I have been eating the that's my sugar day. I finished the ice cream already. I finished the Reese's. I'm still not even here yet. And on top of that, this is a whole week usually before it happens. I've been getting in that little candy thing from Oh, am I? You know, the candy from the top from the big old Halloween bit, basically. Yes, not Halloween, but yeah, I've been the musketeers have been disappearing. That's the only chocolate.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I don't have a on I went dark chocolate like the first two days of my period. Hooked on that. Yeah, they're the best thing. This dark chocolate peanut butter. I think it's from Trader Joe's. Ugh. Does Trader Joe's sponsor podcast? I would love for them. That those are so gross. Oh, they're so good. I usually what's a habit that helps you stay grounded when life gets chaotic? I walk every day. Yeah. Yeah, she does.
SPEAKER_01I will sometimes I think just go-that's a great habit. I love it. It's a really good habit. I make sure that I get outside every single day to walk. And I feel like I've done it more here in the city because I feel like when I was living in the desert, well, where we live is very like walking friendly.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, it's walking friendly, and I do, I love all the dogs.
SPEAKER_01Um, no, but I feel like I yeah, walks. I feel like it's something that like if a bad day, good honestly though, when I am feeling my lowest, I go on a walk. Yeah, I spark up a joint. Yeah. I my mind just I'm just like and then I come back and I take a hot shower and I usually am okay.
SPEAKER_00No, that's great. I'm actually jealous that you have the ability to be in the cold walking because I love walks too. I love going outside. That's like one thing I really miss about LA is that I'm I would always be outside every day. And so, but girl, me in the cold. No, I get it. I'd be out. So I'm jealous that you have that.
SPEAKER_01I'm looking forward to it. Just bundle up, Lexi. Go with me one day. Just bundled layers, a whole you need one of those shysties.
SPEAKER_00You need a shystie. I'm not going outside like that. It's that's how you get snippets. Just yeah, as only show. That's your that's one of your sides peeking through. You don't know what I be doing when I do that. What side be outside when it's two feels like below five?
SPEAKER_01Oh my gosh. I know, right? I be wanting to go outside. Oh, you don't want to go to the store, you don't want to pick up live, I'll go. Yeah, I'm like, oh, you want to go? I love my walks. Okay. Multiple times too at the end of the day. It's kind of crazy.
SPEAKER_00Okay, yes. Let's do a little overrated, underrated game of habits. Because I feel like people are like, oh, we should do this, we should do that, and like talk about all these things that change lives. And I think everything doesn't need to be a new habit. Everybody don't need to do everything. So yeah. A little quick of underrated versus underrated. All right, okay, morning routines. Underrated. Me, I agree. Yeah. Oh my god, it anchors my day. Like, if I wake up and don't do my routine of something, I'm just a little bag blowing the I feel like I'm getting better at it.
SPEAKER_01I feel like I would have before said overrated, but now that I'm kind of upset in one, yeah, like living together with us and having that routine together. Girl, definitely, I would definitely say that. Yes.
SPEAKER_00Before I would definitely um okay, journaling underrated or overrated. For me, it's underrated.
SPEAKER_01Okay, why?
SPEAKER_00I don't journal enough.
SPEAKER_01Well, that doesn't mean it's underrated. I don't journal enough, so I don't really know much.
SPEAKER_00Oh, yeah, I needed it.
SPEAKER_01It's just like I feel like I should, but I feel like it is maybe a lot of people do do it.
SPEAKER_00Do it? We always have dudes. They're do though.
SPEAKER_01Maybe a lot of people do do it, but I don't know.
SPEAKER_00I feel like it is overrated. Well, you don't do it. Yeah, because I um I think it's underrated. It literally helps me get so many thoughts out of my head. I also like not even maybe just journaling, journaling and voice notes too, but just getting everything out of my head into the world on paper at least. Uh, it's the only way I can organize things. Otherwise, it sits in my head and I'm thinking about all these things, and it's I want to say anxiety. I it will just feel like I have a million things to do. But when I journal about it and I get it out and I s and I say my thoughts, it's like, oh, I don't know, it reminds me of Harry Potter when they take the like they do a little thing and they can take your their memory out of it and they put it in this thing, and it kind of is just I can reflect on it in there, and I don't have to reflect on it in my brain when I'm trying to do other stuff.
SPEAKER_01I wish that was in real life. Honestly, though, like Yeah. You need to try it. Anyways, I no, I I do note dump, I guess. Like, I'll take whatever's in my mind. I literally put all of my notes or write, but I don't journal. I feel like having journals It's kind of like talk to me.
SPEAKER_00It's talking to someone without having to gossip about anyone else. And I can like rely on my own um view of something versus going to talk to you. But I think it's really good, especially if you were in a relationship and you know you don't want to talk about your partner too much. So you journal about it, and then you can read it from like what you're saying, and you're like, oh my god, girl. Before you like, yeah, I think I need to journal. We'll see. You already got two habits to work on. We'll we'll talk about 90 days. We'll talk about 90 days.
SPEAKER_01Making your bed. Uh I feel like I just don't do it enough.
SPEAKER_00I think it's overrated. Like, I don't know how this I don't see how it changes your life so much.
SPEAKER_01It is overrated, but I don't think people also do it enough, and I feel like people still are out here in the world as the messy messy bed man convinced me that you can be successful.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, that's what I'm saying. There's people in the world that can still be in.
SPEAKER_01Drinking maybe he actually has someone make it for him.
SPEAKER_00Nope. No, he doesn't. Uh drinking a gallon of water a day. Overrated. You got it. Definitely what I got a pee all day. Like, no. Let me just eat some fruit or something. Like, okay, I didn't put one up, but don't be lying on me. We gotta do one, two, three flip because you can't you can decide.
SPEAKER_01I'm sitting there thinking about it. But no, when you said the pee too much, yeah, but you don't have to drink that much water, do you? Yeah, a gallon? No.
SPEAKER_00Drink water every day, yes. That's all.
SPEAKER_01I mean, then it was like, yeah, you gotta drink your water, but a gallon is a gallon's crazy. Yeah, that is. Uh um, meditation apps.
SPEAKER_00Oh. Definitely. Oh. I think it's over it. I don't, I mean, I I can meditate in peace. I don't need an app to tell me.
SPEAKER_01I like apps. I I feel like I need like I need some guide guidance though. Like, I feel like when you talk me through it and how to breathe and all that. I don't know. Oh, talk her through it. Yeah, talk me through it. Meditation app. Um, anyone that knows a good meditation app, I'd love to use them even though this Dingleberry doesn't like it.
SPEAKER_00I just think it's overrated.
SPEAKER_01Um vision boards. Definitely underrated.
SPEAKER_00I do, yeah. I love vision boards. I think you should visualize in general. I think it's good to have it, but I think me staring at my board isn't gonna give me it though. I think it's just a you gotta go out and do stuff. So you can you can have a vision without a board. Oh, a business plan.
SPEAKER_02Dang, you shit on my business plan then. You're really busy planning your vision board. No, but you know what? I hate you because you're probably a little serious. I actually have a picture of it.
SPEAKER_01No, but I did do a vision board. I did do I did a vision board last year with my family. We're not with that that I wanted to do with them. Sonny, Chauncey, the animals, and our nice little family. And then look what happened. See? So yeah. Overrated. Over don't do a vision board if you want to lose your family. Okay, that's okay. That's right. I have to laugh through it now, yo.
SPEAKER_00Oh, that's the only thing that gets me going. And they're like, you don't want this. Uh all right, to daily to-do list, overrated or underrated?
SPEAKER_03I think it's yeah.
SPEAKER_00Why do you think so? Nope, I've been I said this stuff first last time. Okay. For me, overrated because something, but with a tweak though, because recently they I met someone that was saying, don't make a list, put it on your timed schedule. And that's the difference. Just saying, oh I gotta do all these things versus I'm gonna do this at 12, I'm gonna do this at one, I'm gonna do this at one, I'm I'm gonna think about these things at 12:30. That's the difference. Just making a list of all the things, okay, it's like kind of helpful, but unless it's scheduled, it's still gonna be like, oh, I don't get to that. That's just a little bit to that. What did I say? The microphone. Like the mic thing in the car. Yeah, I have not scheduled. You haven't ordered any of that. I haven't scheduled it. Anything that I put on my calendar and I actually schedule it gets done. So don't get a to-do list, schedule it in. You know what?
SPEAKER_01That's so true because we had our girlfriends come in town this weekend, right? And our friend Janae planned it. But we have our girl Carly, who was uh she here's how Janae planned it. She put it in the calendar for everybody, the little Google calendar, shared it and said, You're booking your flight on this day to come to Chicago and have a girls' weekend. And she did it because it was planned and it was in her calendar. It was in my calendar. She said, if you didn't put it in my calendar, I wouldn't have came.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, so calendar scheduling over to do it. That's true. I like that.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, yeah. Girl, I got some things. Cold showers. Oh fuck that. Oh. You said over. Oh. You like it? No, it's overrated. Oh, over, yeah. Uh, what is it okay?
SPEAKER_00I don't ever need to take a cold shower in my life. But it's good for you. I don't care. What about one of those plunge things where you sit in the water? There's so many good things. It's isn't it good because of your heart? I will just go run. I'm not doing that. Uh look, we are warm-blooded animals, right? Right? I mean, like, what? Why do I why would I mean rain water when we got warm water?
SPEAKER_01I mean, I think cold showers, no, they've they fucking suck. Oh my god, I've and I will do the little plunge thing. Done it, yeah.
SPEAKER_00Over rate, people I think I do, I do this every day. I'll be looking crazy. Until I see somebody that do it every day that looks better than me. I don't know. They ain't got the bad.
SPEAKER_02I'm like, not convinced. I don't know. Joe Rogan's not doing it for me. Oh my gosh.
SPEAKER_01Um getting up. Getting up at 5 a.m.
SPEAKER_00Underrated? Ugh, let me hear.
SPEAKER_01Underrated?
SPEAKER_00Overrated?
SPEAKER_01Why? No, go. Okay, I'm underrated. Okay. Listen. You don't think that you should get up at 5 a.m.? No, what the fuck? Okay, remember how we What I think maybe. The sun ain't up, I ain't up. But I feel like if I utilize that time somewhere else besides scrolling, like go down to the gym while Sunny's still asleep, it will actually make a difference in my day. And like before, you were doing it. You were getting up at 5 a.m. when I first came here, and you then you were like, Yeah, that doesn't work.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I don't like it.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. But I feel like I haven't tried it enough to know.
SPEAKER_00So that's I don't like it. Um, I like getting up early. Yeah. I like getting up early, but 5 a.m. just is just a no for me. It depends on when your day starts. For me, I know I need time in my morning to meditate and to be able to just think. And I like my mornings to be about me, but my whole mornings can be about me. I don't need 5 a.m. That's I don't know.
SPEAKER_01I think I need to try it a little bit more. They each their own.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Digital detox weekends. Oh, I I wish I could do it. I feel like I'm more present and I know what I want to do for my life more when I'm not on everyone else's opinion so much. I don't think I've ever gone a weekend. I can't imagine that. That'd be so beautiful.
SPEAKER_01Listen, oh, I did it on the shows too. Well, I've definitely done it on the show. I went months, months without electronics. But it's a nice cleanse, but then you come out of this reality of like and then to another reality, and you just you know locked. Yeah. Um, but I had a friend, my friend Brian, which is crazy. I just talked about him in the corridor here. He is Jewish and he's very traditional. And on Fridays, they do, they have like uh, what is it, Shabbat? So after a certain time, you can't use fire, electronics, lights. So he would always walk to meet me, and I would go over to his place and I would spend the weekend, and we'd do sh we I would go a whole weekend without that. Yeah, that's nice. No car, you can't use it. Well, I don't know about well, I mean we live in South Loop, so it's yeah, yeah. Yeah, they couldn't you can't even use fire because it's living, so you can't blow it out. Isn't that crazy? Oh so like I would always I mean I would still use fire.
SPEAKER_00I was just thinking about my phone.
SPEAKER_01I'm like no phone, nothing. Like, and then they would have he would like pre-warm his food, like on little hot things that kept it hot. Oh. So because you can't use a microwave or an oven. So it was just detoxing from any yeah, but I want to do that.
SPEAKER_00I need to get better at just certain times turning off my stuff, and then especially on the weekends, I do. I've been slowly getting more intentional again. I think well, we've been in building process this last few months, so I know I've been like D on my digital stuff. So I definitely would love to just be like, oh, Saturdays, no electronic.
SPEAKER_01Right, that would be so nice, and go out with the girls and do something. Yeah, or have a babysitter and maybe do something.
SPEAKER_00Gratitude lists. I I think I don't know. I I I don't do a gratitude list. I am telling you, I think this is the most life changing thing if people would I don't think you people understand how big of just it switches your mind to not be negative, to not be sad, to not be unhappy. Because you just when you look around and like, oh, I'm I love I have this and I have this, and we just get into it, you just start to feel like so empowered, like I oh my god, everyone should do it. Everyone everyone start doing it.
SPEAKER_01I think the last thing I should ask is therapy. This is definitely tell me yours.
SPEAKER_00No, you go first, you go first. I for me it's it's overrated. I think um I think it can be great for some people. I think some people definitely need to go to therapy. I also just think meditation and just intentional time with yourself and journaling. I think you don't always need somebody else to tell you something, but um, I also think that's just if you actually want to reflect on yourself and stuff too.
SPEAKER_01Well, I think for me, what I did the opposite under yeah, I did underrated. I agree. Like, you don't I feel like it's one thing you don't need all the time, but I feel like it was something I needed in the beginning of like my very depression error, I guess. Um it definitely helped me get out of and point me in the right direction of where I needed to go and just dump everything because I feel like I was just dumping everything on my close friend, on family members. Yeah. And it was just like it wasn't, it didn't need to live there.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01So I think it helped that that way, but it's something that I don't feel I need. I think that's good.
SPEAKER_00That's good. Like I think a lot of people don't realize that they are dumping. On everyone. So it is good to have like a neutral party, which also could happen in journaling. But I think it feels really good too. I I like I like therapy for the record. Um I think I think it just I think some people just think it's like I'm gonna go and it's gonna fix me, or like I go to therapy, and then like it's like okay.
SPEAKER_01I think for me, um, it just I think for me it just became unhealthy how much I was yeah really just having to talk about it and dump and um I I had to realize that. So, but anyway.
SPEAKER_00Okay, well we'll do two more. Okay, self-help books, underrated or overrated? Yeah. Oh, you put yeah, I think so too.
SPEAKER_01I think they're called kind of all the same.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I think they're good. Yeah, they're a good place to go every now and then, but that should not be your only reading. And you gotta get to a point where you're like, you can't always be like, I gotta fix everything. Like some eventually you just gotta start living. And I think if you're always like everything's wrong and you're always this work in prod progress, then you just always feel like everything is wrong with you, and you always gotta change everything and you gotta fix everything. Oh my god, I've been self-help makes you like oh, I gotta do like I'm so wrong. And yeah, every now and then they're good, but otherwise, uh I'm about to say hiring help.
SPEAKER_02Oh I'm about to say with the kids. Oh my god, anywhere in work, oh my goodness, we needed what the help honestly it's changed.
SPEAKER_00Anything that you can take off your plate in this busy world that we live in. Oh my god. I think doing stuff on your own is overrated. Like, oh, I do this and I do this. No, I can't wait till I get to the point where I'm I don't do nothing. Oh yes, I just gotta I just gotta breathe. That's why I always say about is it no Warren Buffett, like he doesn't even own businesses. I mean he owns businesses, but he just owns them, he doesn't manage them or do anything and all they have read to something and he just talks about how most of his days just spent thinking, and then he has these quarterly calls, and he's like, Okay, from my thinking, this is what we're gonna do, basically.
SPEAKER_01Like he just needs to have a meeting to see what he's doing.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, these are what I what I think. Like, I actually have so many friends and they're and they're like, What'd you do today? And I was like, I just was thinking today. They're like, You just spent the whole day thinking. I'm like, Yeah, but that's like how things I know we don't get to have time in this day, but day and age of just sitting and thinking. Oh, I can't wait. Makes it so hire people so you can get there. Um sometimes the biggest changes aren't habits, they're how we think. And I think this was so big when I read this when we were talking about just habit forming and stuff, because I feel like when we think about habits, we think about all the little tangible things that we need to change, like in our doing. And I think our thoughts are so left out of a habit I can change. Yeah. Was there a mindset shift that you had that made your life feel lighter?
SPEAKER_01A mind shift? Yeah, I was I was talking very negatively negatively about myself. Like I didn't feel beautiful. I would look in the mirror and be like, oh my gosh, this, that. Like, um, and not just that, I also feel like I had to kind of, and I feel like I'm doing better with Sunny, but I had to get in the habit of being more patient with the tantrums and the it's definitely made things a little calmer and a little better. Um But she's a lot, she's very demanding. She said a lot. So yeah, I feel like that's really the Yeah.
SPEAKER_00My I mean, my thing is what I've already kind of talked about in this episode is shifting any complaints that I have. If someone comes to me because they need help continuously, like a family member, and my mind goes to oh, they always need help. The shift in myself is like, oh, I'm so glad they can come to me for help. For the help. And I'm so glad that I'm able to help. Thank you for giving me the life that I could help people. That changes it. I have a practice of changing my negative statements into positive ones. And even if I'm I don't get an opportunity that I wanted, I'm like, oh well, you I have a free schedule now, so when the next thing that I'm supposed to be doing is lined up, I think being able to shift the thought that's a negative statement into a positive statement is why I always get what I want or better. Yeah. Like I literally one of I just did a like a repost, and it was like, I'm one of those people that you're gonna if I if people knew the people I hung out with and the things that come to me and the spaces that I'm in, people would always be shocked.
SPEAKER_01Right.
SPEAKER_00But it's because it's I literally know that anything is possible. And if it's not happening to me and I want it, then it's just because it's oh, I have something better coming.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, no, I think that's a really good way to look at it. I feel like everything is just so mental. Like it really is. I I I feel like as soon as as soon as you change that thought process, even me talking negative myself, it's just kind of the same, but in different ways. It's like the same. I was just like, wow, I started to feel prettier. I start my skin started to, I mean, I haven't been like, oh, this pimple because I've got a several damn period. But I like I I started to like some days I'll actually get up and get ready because I like I actually feel more confident. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00I honestly think that people should look in the mirror more often, say I'm a bad bitch. Yeah. Because it's first of all, you can't say it without fucking laughing. It's ridiculous. And laughter's good for you. But if you were, I just imagine every type of person in the world is sitting in the mirror. I'm a bad bitch. I'm a bad thing. Oh my god, wish I had a mirror right now so I could look.
SPEAKER_02No, but it's it's two things.
SPEAKER_00If it's if I'm a bad bitch, isn't something that you would say about yourself, then it's just a silly thing. It's still a ridiculous thing, right? But it just makes you like pumping yourself up in the mirror. I'm a bad bitch.
SPEAKER_02I'm a bad bitch. Yeah, I'm a bad bitch. I'm a bad bitch and be said, like, I'm a bad bitch. Like, you can't do it. I got a little like my chest, I said it with my chest down. You know, you start getting big like ugh.
SPEAKER_00It's like your inner rapper comes out. Like I know. Why did it say it like that? I'm not meant to stallion. You know, uh so I can't. Something's so silly, but that mental shift of that makes it different. Yeah, I feel that. Yeah. And because the people that I know that are sad all the time, they do. Their inner speak to themselves is just negative. And everything that's going on in the world right now, we're in craziness, right? I think two things help me. It's like I know history, and actually, we are not even near crazy as times as it was like in the 40s and 50s. And so that's one thing. Knowing history is uh this is how always happens. And then just at the end of the day, if things are out of my control, then why am I worried about it? Not to say that I don't want to be a change and support good causes and like do my individual duty. How are you? This one person is a person who's like, but if I I am not stopping a war, yeah, I can't control Trump. And if I'm worried about something, how can I vote? How can I become informed? How can I support people in my community? What are my actions I can do? But to just get mad at someone that I can't do anything about, yeah, that's just not gonna do it. It's just really focusing on the things that I can worry about has been life-changing too. Because if you start to turn on the news and you see all of the stuff that's going on and it's I know it's really sad.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Everything everything, not even that, or the weather's just crazy now. The world's just yeah, it's just so out of it.
SPEAKER_00But if you think if you say to yourself that, oh, the world is bad, but you're if how if you're a good person in it.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_00So, like, no, I think good people there's plenty of good people on every side, and I think again, we can't control governments all the way yet. Right. I guess. But we can do our individual power. A big thing of my mindset is like, what can I do? What can I change? And as long as I'm able-bodied, and uh I mean, the blessing of Living America is that I can use my voice, because so many, especially women, cannot, as long as I have the power to do that, why wouldn't I do that? Um, and so focusing on what I can do versus what I can't, because there's a whole bunch of shit I can't do.
SPEAKER_01I so I love that. Just focusing on what you can do in the most positive way.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. And and my power too. It's like I have a power because if I didn't, I wouldn't be alive. Like my life is a powerful thing, right? It's I'm we literally we have life. So do positivity with that in whatever way that is. But I don't think focusing on all the problems of it doesn't, it doesn't how does that help you?
SPEAKER_01It's really, really it's crazy. People kill people over these problems that someone's in that controls, like you know, yeah, it's really sad. I I this world's really fucked up.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, but it's dope. I think I think our gov we have really shitty governments a lot of times because I've rarely no, I don't think in any of my travel experiences I've ever met people that I've been worried about or or been scared of. I mean, in America you can get robbed and pickpocket anywhere, you know what I'm saying? But um, no, everywhere in the world that I've ever went, people are nice and loving and kind and like usually they're like helpful. And I don't know.
SPEAKER_01I don't there's all everywhere in this world, there's pockets of good and bad. It's just what it is. Yeah. Um, but no, I I it's just unfortunate and sad that there aren't. I feel like more there's not more greatness, I feel. I don't know. I guess there is. I don't know.
SPEAKER_00Girl, the news I want to show it. It's a lot of great shit happening.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, there's a lot of great yeah, there's a lot of great doesn't want to put it out there. Yeah. What's something you stop taking personally?
SPEAKER_00I think other people's thoughts of me. Uh I think we kind of talked about this before is a lot of stuff is projection or whatever, and also you people I can only know my intent. I can't control how you take things or say things. So trying to appeal to everyone's and and not be people's villain. Oh my god, no. Cause I never I know my heart and I know myself. Me saying no isn't because I didn't like you, it'd be it's because it's it's either gonna cross a boundary or it's a scheduled conflict or something, right? So if you get upset at my no, then I'm not gonna take it personally that you're upset. I'm like, okay, you just don't understand that like my life doesn't revolve around you. And does that improve like and that's oh wow, yeah. It's because it's especially as a like a uh retired people pleaser, um both of us. No, no, you're kind of still there a little bit. No, let me be retired. Okay, yeah, I'm still there. But I'm I'm retired. I'm I'm very I'm getting very confident in my nah, I'm not doing that. I wish I had the capacity sometimes to do that or whatever, but I don't.
SPEAKER_01So anyone else out there, um, let us know. Like what habits you need to change. Maybe it's something that you uh need to leave behind and not necessarily implement a habit. Yeah. Um, and make sure you go in that mirror and say, I'm a bad bitch. I'm a bad bitch. Yeah, right now go to your mirror wherever you're at, your car. Maybe you're putting your movie. The review, I'm a bad bitch. The review, right? Maybe you're just out in public right now and you're washing your hands and you're listening to us. Make sure you say, I'm a bad bitch while you're looking in that mirror. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. If anything that you do, go into our circle community. Let's talk about being the baddest bitches ever. And yeah, until next time, guys. Until next time. Bye y'all. Bye.