Wait, Is This Actually ADHD? What Getting Diagnosed As an Adult Really Feels Like

Lexsi gets real about the long road from casually joking about ADHD to actually getting diagnosed as an adult, and everything that came with it. The grief of looking back at missed opportunities. The rage of realizing some people just... do things. And the strange relief of finally having a word for why the "easy" stuff has always been the hardest.

This one goes deep on what ADHD actually looks like when it doesn't fit the hyperactive-kid stereotype . The procrastination disguised as perfectionism, the hyperfixation on people, the businesses that never quite scaled, and the systems she's built to work with her brain instead of constantly fighting it.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hey, it's your girl Alexi Lewis and this is another episode of Occasionally Perfect. So you probably joked about having ADHD before. You're with your friends and you're laughing about how you lose everything. Your keys, your phone, your train of thought, mid-sentence, and then you're like, no, seriously, I think I have ADHD. And then everyone laughs because it's harmless. It's it feels like, oh, this is just a personality trait. But then one day you realize maybe it's not funny anymore. It's not just losing your keys, losing your time. It's missing deadlines you actually cared about. It's forgetting about things that cost you money. It's starting something that you were really excited about and then just not finishing it. It's being overwhelmed by things that seem so simple for other people. It's watching yourself not follow through again and again and not really understanding why. And then you start to have those moments where you're like, wait, is this actually a problem? There's a point where you start looking at your life as a pattern instead of isolated moments. And that's what led me to finally get diagnosed with ADHD. And that's what I want to talk about. What happens when you go from joking about it to realizing it? It might actually be something deeper. What it feels like to look back at your life through a completely different lens and how you start to build a life that actually works for you once you understand how your brain works. Because now it's not just little quirks. Now it's affecting how you show up in your life, your work, your relationships, your confidence in yourself. And for a long time, at least for me, I just thought that's that's who I was. I thought I was inconsistent and I thought I needed more discipline, and I just had to try harder. But there's a point where you can't keep explaining everything away like that. And that's what led me to going to get diagnosed. So I had just moved back to Indiana, and I was like in this new transition phase of life, and so I actually was saving way more money because Indiana is way cheaper than LA. And I was like finally showing up as a mom that I wanted to be because my daughter was in all her after school activities, and then she had all my childhood friends with her who had their kids and stuff. So we had a very rich life, or at least my life is very rich in my motherhood aspect, but I slowly kept feeling this numbness that something is wrong, something is off a little bit. And after a few months, I was like, I think I might be depressed. And I wasn't in a depression where I'm just sad and miserable and I hate my life. I was more in a depression that was like everything's just numb. I didn't really get excited about things. I was going through the motions, I'm doing the things that you're supposed to do, but it just didn't feel like me being my complete self. Something just some off. So I decided I'm gonna go to therapist. And so I went to my therapist, we're doing the normal things of yo, how's your life? What have you been through? Like all the catch-up stuff. And at the same time as me going to my therapist, I'm starting to go through my feed and I'm getting all this ADHD content. And I'm like, okay, this is probably just because everyone sees it. It's just popular, everyone has the ADHD. It's like again, joking with your friends. Oh, yeah, everyone has it. So I'm going through it and I'm like, okay, so this is just normal. This is just normal. But then I keep hearing people say, This is actually not normal, it just is normal for you. And so the marketer in me is, okay, I'm getting fed this because I'm searching for it, but it's also relating to me. I also lose things all the time. My friends are always like, girl, it's bad because I always lose my ID. There was a portion of my life where I was getting a new debit card every month because I would just put it in my pocket or something. I actually have a text from three weeks ago, I finally went out with my friends, and my ID and my debit card were on the ground at the bar. I didn't even have a drink, and I'm just always constantly losing stuff. But then also I'm like, wait, but is this because they're making everyone feel like I'm just literally going this bad with myself? But I went to my therapist and I said, I keep seeing all these things for ADHD, and I'm thinking that I might have it. Can you direct me to someone so I can go get tested for it and see if I had it? So I did the test, and she was like, Yeah, you definitely have ADHD. So between that feeling numb and then having this idea that, am I lazy? Which I didn't feel lazy because I was always working, but then I also felt like I was never finishing things and getting it done. So I had this weird thing where I'm always busy, but also nothing's getting done. So I felt like I'm lazy because I'm doing these tasks, I should take no time, and it's taking me so long. So I got tested. And finding out that I had ADHD was like, okay, yeah, I have it. But then I got prescribed Adderall. And on the first day I took my Adderall, I cried. I feel so corny. And oh, that I cried. But when I did my uh check-in with my doctor, I told her I cried because for the first time, like all the things that I needed to do were just organized, and I said, Okay, this is what I have to do, and I just did it. It wasn't thinking about it, it wasn't making a plan about it, it was just execution. And then I was so mad. I was so mad. I really went through a grieving phase, and it's because I'm like, there are people in this world that just wake up and they say I gotta do it and they do it. The idea that you can do that is so crazy to me. Because I'm thinking about, okay, this is how I have to do it. And I'm also a perfectionist, so I'm like, okay, I have to do like this. And then if one little thing messes up my plan, then it screws up the whole entire day. And so now this plan that was supposed to take three hours ends up taking 11 hours, and I didn't really finish it, so I probably should do a little bit of it in the morning. And to think that there are people that just have a plan, they do it. If someone texts them, they just answer the text and then they get right back to it. Someone texts me, I'm in this text thread now, and we're having a conversation. And honestly, yeah, I had anger and jealousy for people that didn't have to deal with this every day. I can't believe that there are people that just wake up and can just get shit done. And then it made me start re-evaluating my whole life and people that you look up to. I'll see people like, oh, I did this and this, all these things they did today. I'm like, oh, you definitely don't have ADHD. Like, there's no way you did this consistently for a year without having ADHD. So there's a lot of just honestly anger that I don't function like that because I want to function like that. And when I understand how to do something, I'm like, okay, this is really easy. It's this step, this step. So, okay, let's do it. I understand things so easily. And when I'll talk to people that do things that are like way more successful than me, I'll talk to them about the processes of how things work because I understand how things work, and they're like, Yeah, you get it, and and understanding I am a genius, but in the ability to execute, I am terrible. And I had so much anger for that. And I was just going through my life and starting to reanalyze everything from going from school from how much I hated homework. Because the idea that I have so much time to get something done, I'm procrastinating to the last minute to get it done. But then I tested so well because tests are like more high pressure, more you have 30 minutes to get this done. I do so good in tests, but homework was just like, oh my god, it's so hard to do. I had this statistic. I love statistics because it was all about taking all this information and you can see how people have patterns. I love statistics so much. And I'll never forget my statistics teacher pulled me aside one day and he was like, You really get on my nerves. And I was like, What? Why? And he was like, if there is a problem that is basic 101 that everyone gets right, he said, There's like a 60% chance that you'll get it right, but if everyone gets it right, you might get it wrong. He said, But if there's a problem that every single person gets wrong, you get it right every single time. Because my ADHD makes it so I don't care about simple things. Where's the challenge? Give me something like to focus on and really have to try. And the easy stuff is so hard to the easy stuff because easy is relative, but the things that are simple are hard because I already know how to do it. I don't want to, I don't care anymore. Give me a challenge. And so in school, I would get the hard answers right and get the easy answers wrong. And my teachers would be like, she is so smart, she understands this, she just needs to get the repetition in, but the repetition was is very hard because it's so boring. I'm like, I know two plus two already. Like, give me two times two to the third power to put some parentheses and just give me a challenge, which is so great when you're in a challenging situation, but it's so bad when you have to prove that you know the basics, and it's just like my brain is skips over because it's so boring. So just going through that and knowing I was in honors classes because I think I did understand concepts, but knowing that okay, these simple, easier things are harder for me would have saved me so much judgment of myself because I really was hard on myself. Like, why are you not doing this? You know this. And to know now that oh, my brain just literally has a harder time focusing on those slow things. Oh my god, I would have it saved me so much judgment. And I think about this so often because I've always created businesses where I make enough money to pay my bills, and I think that is so ADHD of me because when it came to scaling and getting bigger, I got bogged down in all of the little things. My whole 20s was not outsourcing, but just getting down to like the technical things and the repetitive tasks that should have taken an hour to five hours of my whole week, ended up taking so much of a chunk of my time where the businesses that I just knew were gonna be successful never got to reach that success because I would be bogged down on those little things. But as much as there was that sadness, I also felt empowered finally. Okay, there's hope for sure, and just knowing that okay, it's not me because the depression came from not being able to do things that were so simple. People were like, This is easy, answering emails, just actually ignoring my phone. Like the idea of okay, I have to formulate this perfect email, and I have to sit here and do this, and then I'll go and play like six scenarios in my head of does this sound right? It it really makes you just pause and question every single thing that you're doing. And then so now going forward and knowing that okay, first of all, there are some tasks that I just can't do. If I do these tasks, it's gonna take forever. And some people like decide, oh, I'm gonna gamify things, and they're like, Okay, if I don't like these tasks, give myself a reward. Okay, I'm gonna do this, and then I'm gonna have a 20-minute session with my friend. Just catch up. I don't do the gamification of things I don't like. I am luckily have figured out how to make some money, and I am a team outsource. Like, I just am like, I'm not good at this, outsource. Also, thank God for AI. AI is like an ADHD person's dream because it literally takes out repetitive tasks, and those are the annoying things that make it so you cannot scale because you're just doing the same thing over and over. With AI and with outsourcing, it finally gave me this thing where I'm like, okay, I can scale this thing now. These things that should take 20 minutes. Just honestly, the systems to just knowing, okay, today I'm going to do this, this is what has to get done today, and then also being able to really compartmentalize stuff because I think this is also just learning how to be an entrepreneur in general. Because if you're an entrepreneur, you know you have a million fires to put out all the time, there's always something happening. But to know that now I know that these are the tasks that I can personally take care of, or these are the things that I'm gonna need help with, or if I don't have the help for it, I'm like, okay, what is pivotal that has to happen right now? And I can just break up things differently, and it's just made me be able to scale things a lot easier. And then also I'm learning to trust my pattern recognition more and my ideas and my creativity, or if I see holes in the market and I'm like, oh, this is probably gonna happen because this, and when no one else understands that, I don't care because I'm like, I know it because I have proof from my like me going back and analyzing it, I've always been right. And when people have told me that, oh, they don't see it, it's because they don't think like me. So I'm just learning to trust my intuition, I'm learning to trust my pattern recognition, and that's so good as an entrepreneur, even as an investor, because it you just start to see patterns that other people do not see because you get hyper-focused and interested in something. I'm starting to see that as a superpower instead of like just oh, I'm lost in something. And just like trusting yourself again is nice because before you know that you have ADHD, you have a lot of self-doubt because you sign up for things all the time. You're like, yeah, I could do this, and then you are overwhelmed in three days, and then you don't want to do it, but then you're like having I can't have the conversation about not doing it, so you just don't show up, and then it becomes okay, I didn't talk to him for three days. Okay, now I have to talk to you and I have to tell you why I couldn't show up, but I have to explain to you the whole thing that was going on, and then it just starts to break down relationships, and now I'm like, I need to look at my calendar. I don't even say no because and I'm not like strong enough to say no yet, but I do say I need to look at my calendar for things, and really being strict about my time blocking, really being strict about what I need to do has been such a relief to know that okay, this is how I can work now. But I do think the biggest relief is that realizing that trying harder was just not gonna fix it. When you don't do something that you want to do, you're like, I just gotta try harder, I just gotta focus more. And letting that go of I just have to try harder is just like such a weight that I didn't know that I had, and it's been it's just helped me against so much. And it hasn't fixed things overnight by any means, but it has gave me more context about why I am how I am, and that context is helping. And I'm not like a depressed sad bitch anymore. I was really trying to think of why didn't they know this sooner? Why did no one tell me that I had ADHD sooner? Because a lot of times with ADHD, especially in women, it doesn't show up as hyperactivity, and so boys are always getting diagnosed more than women because it's shown up as a hyperactivity. And when you're in a classroom setting, like you're not sitting down, you're fidgeting too much, you're talking too much. And this happens with girls as well. It's not just a boy trait, but if you have hyperactivity, then it gets noticed and you get on Adderall and you get on all of the things. But when you have more just inattention where it's you're zoning out, and when you're just not interested in things that are just basic, you go through, especially if you learn how to mask and you're like, okay, I can test good and I can do the easy things. So it's like for me, I'm in honors programs. So I'm in honors classes, I'm doing well in school, but really I'm just like so uninterested. If I get a B, it's because I'm not able to do the simple things. And then also I'm procrastinating like crazy. If any gray hair that I have is because of procrastination and not because I don't have enough time to do something. I literally wait to do something so I can have pressure to do it, and then I'll get it done because now I have dopamine. Like, oh, let's see if I can get it done in time. And it's the turning your assignment in at 12. It's the I'm actually was late today. It's like I'm just not timing. I'm not I'll be like, okay, it's gonna take exactly as much time. So I'm gonna give myself exactly that much time and not leave me space to, oh, I forgot something, even though I had the time to do it. That procrastination isn't unless it's like terrible, it's not really affecting the people around you that much. So it goes under the radar a lot, especially in school, because this, okay, there's a passing period if you're switching classes, there's not a lot of wiggle room to let it grow. And then for me too, like I had a very structured school. I I was in sports so much, so like I played sport. I was at practice before school started, then I had school, then I had practice after school, then I had a club team practice, and then I had a system where I'd work for two hours. So really, I was like in a perfect environment in school for ADHD because you just had systems, there was things to do, and you had to be there, and this is what exactly what I need from you. So for me, I don't think they really caught it because I got the work done eventually, and then there was such a strict system. But then you go, you flash forward to college, and I'm a full-time student, but I only go to school three hours a day, and I now I have a lot of freedom. And then even more so, when I moved to LA, I had even more because I am in entertainment, so I'm making my own schedule. I don't have any structure. I went from a very rigid schedule to no structure, and that is probably my biggest grief, is because I also had tons of opportunities in my early 20s that I did not take advantage of because I just didn't know what to do with my schedule. I never had so much freedom before. And then going from that of having such a strict schedule to having so much freedom, the ADHD things, they really crept up on me. I was always so productive that my identity was a productive person. My identity until two years ago, I started to feel like a lazy person. And I'm so thankful that I had those high school years of being productive, so I know that like it's a possibility for me. My internal mom-in law was like, No, I get things done. I remember one of my exes, he was like, You're lazy. And I was like, You got me fucked up. I was so offended. And because I'm always working, but I'm not getting things done because I'm just sitting at my computer for hours and I'm just texting while I should be doing this, and the tasks that are simple end up being long. So when I was going through my little episode with my psychiatrist and stuff, I also was like, I can see how people would see me as lazy. And then I started to feel lazy, but then I still had this little part of me that was like, girl, no, this is not who you are. Like, you just need to be passionate about something. And when I'm passionate about something, you can't sit me down. You can't know more about it than me, you can't be telling more people about it than me. And I really think it's about finding what you're good at. And one other thing, too, with the masking, you also become a people pleaser. And so when you're giving the version of yourself that people want to see, they're not complaining about it. When I was going through my life after being diagnosed, though, one thing that really hit me was relationships. And there's so many things that my friends hate about me that I do, and then I have to over-explain to them. I hate holidays and birthdays and mass texts when everyone's Happy Mother's Day, Merry Christmas, happy birthday. I don't know what to say because your closer friends try to give you a special message, so then you feel obligated to give them a special message back, and then happy Mother's Day means that I have 15 people that tell about how they're an amazing mother because I can't just say Happy Mother's Day back. It's so bad. And then I'll have two weeks where I'm doing recon to my friends. I didn't mean to not message you back on Mother's Day, and thank God I have very good friendships where I've been friends with them for 15, 20 plus years. But the overwhelm of trying to make it, I want everyone to feel special, I want everyone to feel good, and I can't just do a simple thing. It's not that for me. Again, simple is not easy when you have ADHD. And that and texting, when I'm dating people, oh my god, they are like, you can just text me, you can just text me back later. No, I can't. Because if you said something that warrants, I'm like, oh, this is not just I'll be there at five. This is a I need to give you some context. I'm gonna respond to this, and it's gonna be communication, and it's gonna be a story, and then we're gonna have a conversation, and then I'm not gonna be doing my laundry anymore. I'm not gonna do my dishes, and then my whole day of doing my stuff is gonna be thrown off because now we gotta go have a conversation. And people were like, Oh, it's just a simple text. I'm like, no, it's not, no, it's not. It's a conversation that's about to be 17 minutes, and that 17 minutes is gonna distract me from everything that I had planned because I have a strict plan today. If I don't do my strict plan, that simple, oh, I'm just busy. Text is just not possible, so it's just better for me to not respond. And people that I'm talking to just don't like that. They're like, no, it's just so easy. And I'm like, easy is not simple for someone with ADHD. So something that is simple to you is is just not simple for me. And I actually have stopped talking to people because they kept almost making me feel bad for it. And I will say, having ADHD is not an excuse to just not do certain things. But if I explain to someone this really doesn't mean that, and this is how my brain processes it, and they're like, no, that's stupid, that's just an excuse. I'm like, we're not gonna get along because this is gonna continue to happen. I have such strong accountability, and accountability doesn't mean that you just get to do things wrong. But as a person that's working towards finding the systems, I just can't do it if you're not gonna be understanding. You just can't take it personal. What are the four agreements? One of them is don't take it personal. So if I tell you it's not personal, this is what's happening, and then you're taking it personal, we're not meant to be together. But the other thing that really stood me out in relationships is the hyperfixating thing because people tend to think, oh, I have ADHD, I hyper fixate on a focus or a topic or just some random thing. But you can hyperfixate on people. I remember my friends were teasing me because I they had dated this model, and he was so fine and he was so into fitness, and I'm into fitness. I'm just a trainer. I played sports my whole life. But with him, I got OD and I'm texting him, like, oh my God. But I just like, whenever I meet someone that I'm like really interested in, I'm like, what are their hobbies? What are their interests? And I get so obsessed. This hasn't happened in forever. But I have in the past got so hyper-focused on this person. And I'm gonna be the kind of person that they love and adore. And I could just I like them because they're amazing. And so I'm gonna be like them because then I'll be amazing. And then you get so focused on them, and then eventually it starts to fade, and they're less interesting, and then they all start to feel like, hold on, you were so into me before. What's happening? And it's like the the dopamine wore off, and now you're human, and now you're just normal, and it's oh okay. And I realize so many people feel like I'm pulling away from them more. It's no, I actually just like you as a healthy amount now. I was hyper focusing before, and that has broken up things too, because they're like, Oh, you're probably talking to someone else. It's honestly no, I just I'm seeing you as a human now, which is how I should have started. Sorry. And that has been hard to know that you end up making someone a big part of like I want to do for them. I'm more worried about their I'm worried. I all my people that I've dated are more successful than me, and I'll be thinking about ways to help out their business and stuff, and then like completely neglecting mine. And then they're like, You're this independent bossy woman I met you, and now you're not really focused on your stuff. And I'm like, because I was helping you, and they're like, Yeah, I didn't ask you to, and I'm like, you didn't. Yeah, that has sucked in the past. I haven't done that in a long time for the record. I did that stop before diagnosis because I was just not healthy, like, what the hell? Okay, thanks. Being a mom has changed that for sure. But this, that, and just the texting thing and talking. I don't know how to just like small talk with friends either. I will have a conversation with someone on the phone for four to six hours, and then they'll be like, Oh my god, I can't talk. We talk so long. And I'm like, Okay, I do this all the time. And but then I'm like, oh my god, I actually had hella shit to do today. The person I talk to right now, we'll have 10 minute talks. Okay, well, I gotta get back to work. And I'm like, I have never thought to say that. I've never thought to be like, actually, I'm busy right now, I can't talk, let's talk later. That was such a foreign concept to say, and it's so stupid how the little phrase, like, I'm actually busy right now, can be groundbreaking. But with ADHD, being able to say that is yes, like I actually have hella set to do it I can't talk to you for four hours. And learning that if I need the four hours to do it on a Sunday or to tell my friend initially, hey, I actually am busy. So the tone is already don't get too comfortable. Because otherwise, oh my god, it's it gets bad. Okay, so the best thing about being diagnosed though is you do go through this place of having acceptance, but acceptance cannot turn into excuses if you actually want to make the diagnosis worth your while. Because it's very easy to go from uh I have ADHD to being a joke to oh, it's just because my ADHD and making an excuse for everything. When I go back to thinking about like the people that I talk to and they're like, oh, you're texting, you could just text me quickly. The way that I solved that when I was initially talking to that person was I just took my red text messages off because I was like, Oh, I don't need them to see that I actually read their messages because when they see that I read it and they think I'm ignoring them. But if I take that off, then they don't see it. So now instead of making excuses why I don't do things, I know that in their head now they feel like I didn't see the message yet because I'm still busy. And you start to find systems and things to put into place to make it so all the things that suck don't suck so much. I can't make myself not procrastinate, I can't make myself not need dopamine, but I can do things to help myself focus. I can do things to get myself in a better system, and that has been good. So now, like when I say, okay, this is a pattern, this is something that I need to work on. Is it gonna happen overnight? No. But knowing that there are things that I can do has been instrumental. Following people that are specialists, talking to my therapist, and seeing, okay, what can I put into place? It's also just let me have a lot more compassion for myself along the lines of this is easy for other people, it's not easy for me. I think some people call ADHD and stuff like a disability and stuff. I don't think it's a disability, I think it's a superpower. But in reality, though, if I was just being a realist, it's just different. This is just how I function. I can literally do everything that someone without ADHD has, but I just have to have a different type of system to get that result. And thinking of it like that is why I don't think of it as a disability. It's just that the system that I was taught doesn't work. And so, what is the system that's gonna help me work? And before I get into like the systems and stuff, I will say this, but the best thing that you can do if you have ADHD is just get some money. And I it sounds fucked up to say a little bit, but it's the best thing because, first of all, being able to delegate things that you can't do good, like even if you only have someone that helps clean your house like once a month or something, because when you neglect something and then it builds and builds and builds, and then you know that okay, this is gonna take me two days instead of the 20 minutes that it is. I do like how much is it gonna cost for how much time is it gonna take me to do it, and how much money is it would it cost me to lose if I'm not doing if I'm doing this myself. And honestly, getting money has just made things so much easier for the even for my daughter, like when it comes to simple, like she's in third grade, she's working on math, and I know this math, it's simple math, it's basic. Me having the patience to do her basic math and help her out without getting angry. Absolutely not. Do I want her to be mad and feel like I don't get it and feel upset, and her inner monologue becomes me yelling at her because three times three is nine, not six. No, I don't want her to feel bad about it. So I have to get a tutor. The tutor is patient with her, the tutor shows her different ways to work it out. Me, I'm like, two is two is four. Like, I I don't have the patience. And so being able to delegate that to someone else, life-changing. This show, I've done so many jobs and businesses and stuff where I'm like, I know production, I've done camera stuff, I can do homework, but the thought of me having to set up lighting and set up systems and do the editing, I will never get to the topic at hand. I won't be able to focus on the thing that I want to, which is the conversation with you, because I'm gonna be worrying about do I look okay? I'm not gonna be able to do that with myself. And being able to have the money to get the help or the assistance to be able to have my vision and of how I want to execute something is so important. It's so important. And honestly, the just systems in general, there's so many small tweaks for me. One, food fatigue. I didn't realize until I was living with Amber, I didn't realize how much time I was taking to decide on what I was going to eat. I would open the freezer and be like, okay, these are the things I have. I close it and I think about it. Okay, but I don't really feel like cooking. And I would have this whole thing, and it would probably take 30 minutes to 45 minutes just to figure out what I want to eat. So, one thing I have done is I literally eat the same exact breakfast. Every day I eat the same exact breakfast for my lunch. Whatever the protein was for my dinner the night before is my lunch salad meat. But honestly, like putting little systems in place where it's okay, this is one less thing that I have to think about. For activities, my daughter has swim, she has soccer, and she has gymnastics. I have my gym bag. We have a bag for every activity because we're not gonna spend time looking for shin guards and looking for wrist wraps and all the things for whatever the thing that you're consistently doing. We have a bag for every single activity, so that bag is ready to go, and that we're not spending the last minute because we're already waiting till last minute anyways. We're not being like, oh, do you have your cleats? Oh no, I don't have my cleats. So they're already in her soccer bag, it's ready to go. We pick out clothes the night before. If I'm gonna actually get dressed because I have something to do the next day, I'm picking out what I'm gonna wear, I'm picking out my gym outfit. Because if I do not pick out what I'm gonna wear, I'm gonna be like, oh, what's the weather? Oh, I actually should try this. I don't really like this. And now I'm gonna spend an extra 30 minutes getting ready. And if I would have taken all that time when I had free time and did that beforehand, I would have saved myself so much time and just energy because then my whole day gets thrown off when I'm taking the time to do whatever I need to do. Or if I don't have the trainer that day, I'm like, I'm just not gonna work out now. And then I'll get mad at myself, like, oh girl, I didn't work out. So just putting little systems into place of oh no, I actually I'm gonna do this. I have a plan, and then just how many things can I eliminate myself from thinking about it where I can just go do it? As simple as I know I make the same breakfast every day. Because me thinking about my breakfast is gonna throw my whole morning off. And then I'll be like, you know what? I'm just not gonna eat breakfast, I'm gonna just have coffee. And then when I do that, then I'm hungry, and then my hunger is off. And now my gym schedule is I can't go to the gym when I'm hungry, so now I gotta make something out because I actually am hungry. But then my schedule's off and I'm like, actually, I have a call now, and so now I'm not doing the thing that I wanted to do, which is go to the gym. And so putting those little tiny things into place has been such a lifesaver for me, and honestly, just giving myself grace too. So I don't know everything yet at all. I have not fixed all my life. Again, I said I was late today, but I have way more grace and there's less of a weight since being diagnosed. So if you are joking with your friends, but then at home you're realizing that like, hey, this is actually annoying, there's a lot of relief in just being able to be like, oh, this is what my brain's doing. And not as a way to have an excuse because at the end of the day, things still gotta get done. But knowing is a power, and then it gives you the chance to start learning the systems and start looking at your past differently. So you have a lot less guilt on who you were in the past, and you have more empathy with yourself because when you start to go into this, I'm lazy and I don't get things done. You really have negative self-talk and a lot of hate towards yourself. And when you're diagnosed, it lets a lot of the weight go, and not in an excuse to not figure out what works, but in a like grace of okay, if anyone else would have sat and saw it, they'd be like, that's ADHD. That's ADHD. I'm not a bad kid, I'm not forgetting something on purpose, I'm not losing this on purpose, I'm not late on purpose, and I just have ADHD. That acceptance really gives you the strength to be able to put systems in place and really gives you the ability to start implementing things that can actually help you be that very effective person that you want to be, and all those ideas that you have that you want to do, you can start implementing them and realizing how you need to work to get things done to reach the successes that you want to have, to have the friendships that you want to have, to be the person that you want to be. It really starts with getting diagnosed. So I would encourage you to do that. If this episode has resonated with you at all, I would love for you to go into the circle community. And I actually have a segment just completely dedicated to the ADHD divas in the world. I have way more resources, so I have resources as far as doctors that can help you get a diagnosis because that is actually harder when you are older for some people, especially for women. You start to notice it a lot more when you have children a lot. And if you're having trouble, I have some resources that are in the community that you can go to that are specialized in this that can help you find people in your area to help you get the diagnosis you need. Also, I want to go in the community and share your stories. If you have random things that will help people out, I saw someone who was like, Oh, I threw out all my socks and I only have one pair of socks, so I always know what socks match, easy. And I'm like, oh my god, that is I that's how I am now. I have the recolored socks and they're all the same socks. It makes matching easy, so I don't have to take so much time off my laundry. If you have any random things that will help people out, if you have any resources that you want to share, let's go in the community on circle and just help each other out and figure out. Um, until next time, guys.