How to Love Your Wife

What does it really mean to love your wife?

In this episode of Living with Boundaries, we go beyond surface-level advice and dig into what it looks like to love your wife with intention, consistency, and sacrifice. Love isn’t just a feeling—it’s a daily choice that shows up in how you lead, serve, listen, and respond.

We talk about:

•  Why love requires action, not just emotion 
•  The importance of understanding her needs (not just your intentions) 
•  How respect, communication, and presence build trust over time 
•  What it looks like to love your wife through stress, conflict, and everyday life 
•  A biblical perspective on loving your wife as Christ loves the Church (Bible – Ephesians 5) 

Whether you’ve been married for years or are just starting out, this episode will challenge you to step up, lead well, and love deeper.

Because loving your wife well isn’t about perfection—it’s about commitment, growth, and showing up every single day.

🎧 Tune in and take the next step toward becoming the husband your wife truly needs.

Living with Boundaries is a podcast for dads who want to lead their homes with clarity, conviction, and courage.

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Strong families don’t happen by accident.
 They’re built with intention — and boundaries.

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:01

Josh, how are you doing today, buddy? Great. Yourself, Matt? I'm doing well, man. It's nice to be back. I know uh I missed last week, but carrying on the conversation today, I was looking forward to being here with you and thought we would uh dive into uh an interesting topic today. So um tell tell me, Josh, um how's life? How's your marriage? What's new? Life's great, Matt.

SPEAKER_02 0:25

I'm thankful. Um my marriage, man, it's great. It's not obviously we're we're human. You know, it's it's been a busy season. The busy season of basketball slowly starting to decrease, which is it's like we're kind of coming back up for air game, which is nice. But yeah, Jess and I, it's been it's been a hard few months because we've been separated so much with one of us at you know, one of our kids' events and I'm at the other one. But her and I last night, this is probably maybe a good or bad confession, but we love watching American Idol together. Oh my gosh. America is American Idol still on? Oh, it's still on, man. It's still on, and we watch it pretty much faithfully every week. And we sat there last night on our couch and we cuddled up together, put blankets over us, we had the fire going, and then we just sit there and watch that. Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_01 1:19

Okay, Josh, who are the judges? Is it still Simon Cow, the guy of the original? Man, you you haven't watched it all. I don't watch too much TV, so that's right.

SPEAKER_02 1:28

You only have one TV. That's right.

SPEAKER_01 1:30

We have one TV in the house and it's in the basement and it's 42 inches, so I don't spend a lot of time, maybe family movie night, but American Idol.

SPEAKER_02 1:38

Wow, it's the best. It's still obviously a wholesome family show, in my opinion, uh, which is hard to find nowadays. But yeah, we enjoy it. The the judges, just so you know, is Luke Bryant, who I every time that guy laughs, I'm like, dude, that's the greatest laugh ever. And now they have Carrie Underwood. Okay. It used to be Katie Perry, now it's Carrie Underwood. She brings a different little flair to it. Okay. One thing about Carrie Underwood that just makes me crack up is she literally loves rock and roll. Oh man. And she sits there and just literally like sings every rock song every time there's a rock singer up there, and you're just sitting there thinking, like, here's this little cute little Carrie, you know, Underwood singing her little song. Isn't Carrie Underwood our age? Yeah. But it's just hilarious, dude, how she just she just rocks out, man. So who's the third one? Who's the other great one? Is um Lionel Richie, man. Lionel Richie. Yeah, old school Lionel Richie. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 2:35

We had some of the greatest cheese ball videos. Oh, totally. TV videos from the 1980s.

SPEAKER_02 2:42

What was that? Dancing on the ceiling.

SPEAKER_01 2:44

Oh my God. Have you ever watched it with the kids? It is so cringe worthy. Cringe, right? That's one of the words kids use nowadays, I guess. Cringeworthy. Anyway, but oh, that's hilarious. Yeah. That's hilarious. So we we wanted to uh tackle a topic today, and and it's just kind of a fun way to open. I had no idea you why you guys watched American Idol. That's that's hilarious. I did make fun of you know, one of the things that we like to dive into is not from a pastoral standpoint, but more from just a practical standpoint is a couple of guys in their mid-40s, mid-life, uh you know, living in the western suburbs of Chicago. What are what are some topics that we can tackle and and just give some practical wisdom, uh, talk about the challenges that we face in these things? And so we we thought we would talk a little bit about marriage today and how we go about looking at our marriage and how we love our wives well. So, Josh, I'll ask you the question. Um, number one, how's your marriage? And is your wife hard to love?

SPEAKER_02 3:46

Matt, I'm a very blessed guy. Because my wife is, in my opinion, one of the easiest people to love on planet Earth. And I say that because she is just you know when they say you're she's your better half, like she's definitely by far my better half. She helps bring me back to reality sometimes. And sometimes, like, I'm a visionary guy, I'm a big picture guy. And sometimes that's good. Sometimes though you need to be brought back to earth. And where she really helps me thrive and strive is really just making sure I'm looking at situations in life through the right lens.

SPEAKER_01 4:22

Ah, so good, man. You know, so so good.

SPEAKER_02 4:24

Yeah, I'm I'm I'm blessed.

SPEAKER_01 4:27

You know, I have the same mindset. My my wife is not hard to love. I think the problem, Josh, is that I'm so broken that sometimes she's hard to love because I'm the issue. It's it's it's really not her. And so a lot of times we have to look in the mirror and say, am I doing all I can to love my wife, to honor her, to care for her, to serve her, to give myself up for her. And and oftentimes when I'm not doing that, that's when she's hard to love. And it's not because anything she's doing, it's all it's all the fingers pointed right back at me. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 5:08

I heard this this week. Um, is your wife a launch pad or is she a lid? Man, was that was powerful.

SPEAKER_01 5:17

I we listen to the same podcast, but you know, that that term was was so good because there's times, and I don't want to make this just mainly about our wives. I want to focus on how we honor and serve them, which is what we're called to do. And we'll get to that in a minute. But the idea of your wife being a launch pad or lid just goes down to does your wife trust you and does she encourage you? And I will tell you, man, I'm so blessed to have a wife that is uh in encouragement, believes in me, trusts in me. And quite frankly, it's something that I take very, very seriously, that I probably did not take very seriously early on in my marriage because uh early on, probably the first four or five years when I was active duty in the Marine Corps, uh uh, for those that don't know, I I was a Marine, um, a Marine pilot and officer in the Marine Corps for uh nine and a half years. Uh, most of that I um I was married the first couple of years. I was not. And I I basically chose the Marine Corps over her. And in spite of what most Marines say, is that you know, you marry the Marine Corps first and your wife second, that that's not that's not biblical. That's not a way to live out a biblical manhood. But at the time, I really wasn't a Christ follower. I was very junior and immature in my um my my biblical perspective uh in my walk with Jesus. And I I didn't put her first. And in in ways, I I bore the consequences that our marriage bore the consequences of that. And it took being in God's word to understand like no matter what, God comes first, and my wife comes a very, very close second. And the cool thing is, and this is what I love about God, this is what I love about God's word. You can show God how much you love him by how you treat your wife. Amen. And so I read through, I read through things like uh Ephesians 5, and I don't, I don't want to get like down into the weeds of what what God says biblical marriage is supposed to be like from a pastoral standpoint. I want to stay kind of with some perspective, um, some generalities, and then some tactical ways that we love our wives. But Ephesians 5, verses uh 21 through, what is it, 21 through 32, if you're interested, pick up a Bible and read them. Um I won't read the whole thing, but the first thing I want to highlight is um the whole idea of wives submit to your husbands. I want you to read the verse right before that. That's verse 22. Verse 21 actually says, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. So, so husbands, you're supposed to submit to your wife as well. And hold on, Matt.

SPEAKER_02 7:54

Hold on. Stop right there. I thought wives were supposed to submit to their husbands.

SPEAKER_01 8:00

Oh man, Josh, that's gonna open up a can of worms if we go down this path. But listen, I it's not me saying it. This is why I tell my kids. I was like, you can be mad at me all you want, world, culture, kids. Um, I'm just telling you what God's word says. Yeah. And so, I mean, first off, we we completely misunderstand what the word submit actually means. Yeah. Um, and the reason why wives submit to their husbands. And the reason is is caught up in the very next paragraph, is because it says, Husbands, love your wives just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word and to present her to self. And it goes on and on. And it's basically you should love your wife so that she can not only be a blessing to you, but she can be a blessing to others, and your marriage can be an example of what it looks like to have sacrificial love. And I'm telling you, man, when you live that way, oh my God, the doors just open up to the opportunity to have such a flourishing relationship, and it's it's it's just awesome.

SPEAKER_02 9:09

So, what does sacrificial love look like to you? How do you sacrifice, how do you sacrificially love your wife?

SPEAKER_01 9:17

Well, there's some principles behind that. So, like the the idea that goes in my head is number one, my wife and I don't keep a scorecard. I did this, so you need to do that. I I provide through work, you manage the household, which those things are fine. And those honestly, there's some biblical perspective and truth behind that. But I don't come home and like see dishes in the sink and think, oh, that's that's Linnea's job. I just come home and I babe, I know you're listening to this. I don't do this every time. But what I'm saying is if I see something that needs to be done that typically may fall on her plate throughout the day, I I just start doing it. Yeah. And it it it sounds so simplistic, but the the the idea is don't keep a scorecard.

SPEAKER_02 10:07

I totally agree. Yeah, I I know couples that do, and they're constantly at each other's throats because of it. Um one thing I also heard this week, I thought was neat was as men, our role is to be in the marketplace and to live on our purpose that God's called us to. And our wife's role is to support us in that venture. I thought that was kind of neat to hear, you know? And and obviously, God, this is something else I saw this week too. I thought it was cool. When God made Eve from Adam, he put Adam out. Adam was out. He didn't know what was going on. God took a rib from Adam, used it to create Eve. Okay. And the cool thing about that is he didn't take a bone from Adam's head, he didn't take a bone from Adam's feet, he took it from his rib, which is right by his heart, and created the best helper he could create for man.

SPEAKER_01 11:01

I I heard this, the the thing that I found interesting about that comment was the the word helper. And again, guys, this is not this is not a theological discussion from two guys that went to any sort of uh, you know, secondary schooling for biblical theology. Okay. This is just a couple of guys that attend church most weekends. We read the Bible, and we're trying to interpret the best we can on a daily basis to apply it to our lives. But what I found very interesting is that translation of helper oftentimes gets misconstrued because we don't understand what it truly means. And and honestly, man wasn't good enough by himself. He needed someone to like not just fill the gaps, but to but to help him because he was weak. Yeah I I I thought it was awesome. Um, listen to uh a guy talk this week about um the reason why it says women are to respect their husbands is because women love really well, but don't respect as easily. And it says men love your wives um the way that Christ loved the church. He purposely used the word love because men don't resp uh, men respect really easily, but they don't love very easily. So God's calling out our weaknesses and saying, you can't do life by yourself the way that I want you to. You have to have a woman. You have to have a strong woman. You have to have a a woman who is seeking God. And I'm telling you, I I I know you do too, but like I am blessed enough in God's grace and mercy that I have a woman like that in my life. And you know, some things, some things that I I wrote down here in preparation. I'm just gonna read straight through these. How do how do we um love our wives? And this is we as men, not just as me, as you and me. It says, number one, you got to be the head of the household. You have to take responsibility, you have to be a rock and a firm foundation for her. You have to be filled with peace and purpose. You have to be highly relational. You have to be a great listener and ask great questions. And one more, you have to be an energy giver and not an energy taker. So, what is it are you doing in your household, men? Listen, analyze it on a daily basis. We're gonna, we're gonna have some days we win and some days we lose. And uh the thing that I like to do toward the end of the day is I do like to reflect on that. And a lot of times there's areas where I I need to go apologize or I need to make up for it the next day. And so um we can get into some practical things in here, but what do you what do you think of that list, Josh? Anything to add?

SPEAKER_02 13:40

Uh one thing that's been really I've been really getting um convicted about, because I I know we don't do this enough, is just praying together. That's something that I feel like I should be doing a lot more with my wife. Um, we do pray together, but not as much as we should. So that's something that I think we need to definitely continue to work on because I do believe praying with your spouse brings an intimate intimacy between you that's on that spiritual level, not just physical level. And I think our souls long for that.

SPEAKER_01 14:14

Yeah, we that's definitely an area that we we need to improve upon is is praying more together. Um some things that I started doing early on um to love my wife well is we have four kids at home. At one point in time, we had kids five, three, one, and a newborn. So four kids, five and under. And again, I I was struggling in my business a little bit, not necessarily working long hours, but I would take any job I could get. I was gone. I was um and so I used to I used to grab all four kids and take them on basically dad adventures. And my wife was always fearful that she was gonna be the mom that was missing out. And I just said, no, this is this is what I want to do. You're not missing. This is time for you. And I think that set the tone for things like understanding when my wife needs a break, even if it's an hour, two hours. And I in in some ways I still do that today. Yeah. Is I recognize when she just needs a break, and I take the time and we take the kids and we we go somewhere. Maybe it's go to lunch, or maybe it's go walk through the woods, or maybe it's we don't really shop, but like, you know, it's whatever I could do. So I started doing things like that, and that became very normal um in our lives. Um, so I would I I wrote the down the the the one thing that I I really like um is marriage and loving my wife well has allowed me and the opportunity to read and and um study up on ways that I can do this better. So it got me reading the five love language um several years back. Gary Chapman. So so I wrote them down. I said I said, all right, so for you, what is your wife's love language? Is it touch, acts of service, gifts, quality time, or words of affirmation?

SPEAKER_02 16:03

My wife loves words of affirmation. She loves spending time with her. My wife actually is not a big toucher, but thank God she married me.

SPEAKER_01 16:17

I I would I would tell you, um, she's gonna argue with me, but I know I know how she loves receiving gifts because I I and I'm I'm not a great gift giver. And that's one thing I want to I want to get better at.

SPEAKER_02 16:30

Great gift giver stuff.

SPEAKER_01 16:32

I guess some might be, but yeah, there are I actually I actually have a brother that's a really good gift giver. That's conversation for another day, but um, you know, hers, and I'll I'll kind of say these in order, but it's it's gifts, quality time, acts of service, words of affirmation, and then probably touch is last. And and it's not that touch isn't a love language, it's just not as high a priority as the others. And so understanding your wife's love languages should drive what actions you take. Um, a practical thing. My wife and I spend almost every evening sitting down together, staring at each other, asking about our day. Sometimes we sit in silence, sometimes we scroll our phones, but it's it's dedicated time to give us an opportunity to communicate, to vent, to love each other, to reflect, and it is uh invaluable to us. Her and I don't need to jet set to Mexico twice a year to reconnect. We do it often weekly, and most of the time it's it's daily.

SPEAKER_02 17:39

So for us, it's uh what I love doing with my wife um almost on a daily basis is we do morning walks. We walk together almost every morning. Just a great time. Some days I'm chatterbox, some days she's a chatterbox, some days I don't say anything. She and she wonders what's wrong with me. Like, why don't you say anything? Some days, you know, you just have a lot on your mind, but it's just good to get out, get in the sunshine, get your body moving, get that fresh breath. But like you said, I mean, I think I think the biggest thing from what I see other people maybe doing is it's really easy just to get lost in the, hey, I want to go watch my sports. Hey, I want to go read my book. And next thing you know, you guys are doing life together. You're running kids everywhere, you come home and you're both doing separate things and you're not around each other. I mean, even though we're just sitting on the couch most nights, Jess is either reading a book, I'm watching a show, or sometimes I'm reading a book, she's watching a show, but we're in the same room. We see each other. Kids come in and go out, we're stopping whatever we're doing. We're having conversation with them, we're having conversation with each other, you know, but we're connecting. You know, we're connecting on a daily basis. Another thing I do to show my wife I love every day, I give her a hug, like a meaningful hug every day. Not sexually oriented there.

SPEAKER_01 18:54

Okay, just I just let me just let me just caveat. I whenever I hug my wife, it it I hold on a little too long. I'm I'm I'm I'm grabbing butt cheek or something, and uh it turns into something that she probably doesn't want it to do. But I the casual hug thing my wife, very, very rare, Josh. So you're a much better man than I am. Well, don't get me wrong. I do get a feel once in a while. So uh back to the idea of what is it we're doing men to connect with our wives? Um, if you find yourself getting caught up in the sport and to the micro gambling, which it will we'll probably need to do uh an episode on on gambling and and how that looks in people's lives and how that's starting to destroy not only men but but young boys as well. Um, are you spending your evenings playing video games? I can just tell you, um by maybe by the grace of God, uh video games was never a part of my life. Um I have purposefully not put a TV in our living room because I wanted to have focus time with my family and focus time with my wife. Um all those things connecting with her, it's it's led to a better sex life. Yeah. It's led to uh better intimacy. Yeah. And I'm not asking you or telling you you have to do that in order for that to happen. I think that's natural. When you feed into your wife, whatever her love language may be, it ends up working out pretty well.

SPEAKER_02 20:23

Let me let me clarify something there. When you feed into your life, your relationship with the Lord, it makes it easier to feed into the relationship with your wife, right? And that leads to blessings across the board. Sure.

SPEAKER_01 20:37

And so again, start it starts with a heart change. Yeah. Foundational of recognizing Christ as our savior.

SPEAKER_02 20:45

And that he did he sacrificially died on a cross, right? And he's called us to love your wife as I love the church.

SPEAKER_01 20:52

He died for the church. Well, what what happens, what happens when when when Jesus comes in and the Holy Spirit gets a hold of you, your heart changes. Yeah. And your your heart doesn't change magically. Your heart changes because what does God say? We're in the book of John, by the way, in our um our Bible savvy, all right. So our our Bible reading for our church. Um, so it's it's fresh in my head. When when God changes our heart and God comes in and we recognize Christ our Savior, what is it we're called to do? John says the word became flesh. Right? So what is the word? Well, the word is God speaking to us. Well, God doesn't really speak to us like the prophets of the Old Testament now, he speaks to us through his word. Yeah. So when you get into his word, into the Bible, you start seeing things that are going to result in behavior change. Behavior thing change like husbands, love your wives just as Christ loved the church. Don't love your wives because you want to get something from them. Don't love your wives because you're expecting them just to um respect you and which they should, but they want to they respect you because. You are loving God, which is changing your heart, which is changing your behavior. I cannot stress that enough. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 22:06

Yeah. Like like you're saying, I think when I say I'm I'm the head of my house, like I take that, I say that with uh obviously it's a big responsibility. I don't say it lightly. Like, what am I doing to sacrifice for my family? That's what it really comes down to, right?

SPEAKER_01 22:24

What so part of the sacrificial thing here is is humility. Yeah. And um, I I won't speak for you, um, but as a a red-blooded American man, I can probably guess you struggle with pride, just like I do. Yeah. And when we are prideful, when we are selfish, it leads to things like unrighteous anger, it leads to things um that can create arguments within a marriage. And the moment that that happens between Lene and I, even if I'm right, it turns pretty ugly. If I'm not loving her well when I am embittering to her, when I am treating her like a second-class citizen, like I'm if if I'm having a conversation and I'm speaking down to her, that doesn't go well.

SPEAKER_00 23:22

That being said, how much do you and Jessica argue?

SPEAKER_02 23:26

I don't want to sound super special here, but we rarely argue. And the reason why we we talk, we communicate. There's an open line of communication there, we're not keeping score. One thing I try to do, I don't do this to Jessica and I do it to my kids. Hey, Jess, how am I doing as your husband? How am I? Like, where do am I loving you the way you want to be loved? Is there areas I can work on? I ask the kids the same question. Because you talk about humility. That's a way to get humbled really fast. Okay, what am I doing good and what am I doing right? I look at it as if I'm running a business, I'm asking my clients these questions. Why can't I ask my wife or my kids?

SPEAKER_01 24:07

You you should be asking your wife that question. Yes. Because a lot of times, um, and again, I I know that I know that the word is driving us and we can be in the word, but sometimes we can read the word and it it it just we read it and then we move on. We don't actually apply it. Sometimes we need that accountability. And you you're only gonna be as accountable as the good questions that you ask and the feedback that you're open to. So asking your wife that question, I would, I would argue at the very least, weekly, yeah, if not every other day. Hey, how can how can I love you better? How can I serve you? And it sounds like such a cheesy question, but I'm telling you, it is powerful. Lenny and I, we we bicker, right? And I think one one reason we don't we don't bicker one reason we don't argue is because well back to bickering. We bickered the other day over where we thought we had our carpets cleaned, if the carpet cleaners were gonna clean in the closet or they were gonna move the furniture. And I mean, literally, we we almost went to blows. And finally, I think it I don't remember if it was her or me, but we were like, not today, Satan. Yeah, like not today. All right, we're not gonna get into this knockdown dragon. I think we even had a date night or something planned. Uh oh no, it was right before we went to Orlando. So we're getting ready to go on this little trip together, and we're sitting there bickering about carpet cleaning. And but I think the reason we don't argue is because we're aligned morally. Yeah. And we're aligned morally, not because of anything that we did in our own strength. First off, it was because of God's grace, but God's grace showed us that we should be having these conversations. We should say, hey, hey, how how do we handle raising kids? How do we handle a teenage daughter that comes upstairs in a dress that's inappropriate? How do we handle, in your case, I would guess maybe um we have college-age kids and they bring a girlfriend home from college and they want to sleep in the same bedroom. Right? But like if you don't have these conversations, that's going to lead to things that are gonna be divisive within the marriage, especially if one person's a Christ follower, the other's not, if these topics never get brought up, and if you never spend time one-on-one with your wife, how's she gonna know what decision you're gonna make?

SPEAKER_02 26:25

Yeah. And one one one other thing, just on my heart right now, for those couples out there that maybe they feel like, man, we're too far gone. Like, I don't even know who she is, I don't even know who he is. They just have lost touch with each other. I'd encourage you to start off with the simple act every day. Go hug her and meaningfully hug her. Don't try to grab her butt. Don't, don't go cope a feel. Okay. Just go hug her. Start there. That will start tearing down walls right there. And then try to find time to say, hey, turn off everything. Put your phone down. Say, hey, how was your day? Ask meaningful questions about how she's doing, where she's at. And then maybe you can work up the courage to say, hey, where am I doing good as a husband? And where am I struggling? And how can I love you better?

SPEAKER_01 27:18

Yeah, and and I think I think there's just even some very small practical things you can start doing to show your wife you love her. Start a car up, see if she's low on gas when it's negative 10 and go fill it up for her. Yeah. So she don't have to sit outside and fill it up with gas. You're find out what your wife hates doing and just do it for her. Exactly. And and again, I I my wife will laugh like she hates going to the grocery store. The funny thing is, is she doesn't really allow me to go because I always come home with something we're not supposed to have and I go hungry. And but I but but at least offer. Hey, I know you hate going to the grocery store. Can I go to the grocery store for you today? Hey, I know you hate planning dinner out. Um, the next two days, like dinner's on me. Something that you can do to say, no, I'm gonna sacrifice my evening. I'm gonna maybe leave work a little early. I'm not gonna watch that sports theme I want to watch. Whatever it may be, find out what you can do on a practical level and just take it off her plate for a couple days.

SPEAKER_02 28:16

Yeah. And I know we're both big on date your wife, take her out on a date. Does that mean it has to be fancy? No. Jess and I go to Chipotle on dates. We go to McAllisters on date. We kind of laugh going to McAllisters because I'm not gonna lie, that the age demographic's a little older than us. Oh, really? Oh, yeah. Okay. But we're like, I guess we're old souls.

SPEAKER_01 28:35

Yeah. Hey, the idea of dating your wife, Josh, what a great point. Um we've been married. We do it right.

SPEAKER_02 28:42

We do it weekly.

SPEAKER_01 28:43

Yeah. We we we we do inside date nights. So Wednesday nights, our kids are at church and our daughter can drive now. So that's kind of an inside date night. Um, but I would say at least twice a month, yeah. Get outside the house and go enjoy your wife. Put your phone away, ask hard questions, relive the times you were dating, uh, just plan for the future, dream together. That's another important practical application. Ask your wife what what their dreams are. Um, I want to add one more thing in here. I want to be very real. There are times we've been married 19 years. It'll be 21 years since we met coming up this summer. There are times where we just haven't really liked each other. Yeah. There's been times, even in the recent past where you just you just see your wife and and and maybe, maybe it didn't turn out the way you thought it was gonna turn out. Maybe even let me go so far as to say, you just don't find your spouse attractive right now. We are getting older. Okay. Listen, I married a beautiful woman and I'm so grateful for her and how she cares for her mind, body, and soul. Sometimes we have to ask God and the Holy Spirit to change the way we see our spouse. Totally. God help me to see her for the beautiful creation that she is. Don't let my eyes wander onto the the 25-year-old girl next to me. Don't let my eyes wander onto someone that it shouldn't wander onto. And when you pray that prayer, which I've prayed before, I'm being honest. Yeah. God has given me a new perspective and a new look. And all of a sudden I see my wife in a way like I've never seen her before. And yes, she's not 22 years anymore, but I still see her today and I go, man, what a beautiful woman she is. And I think it's all because God has shown me what loving your wife is supposed to look like, and he gives me a new outlook every day for her. And I'm so blessed because of that. And so I want to encourage men that if you don't see your wives that way anymore, ask God to take the blinders off and to see her in a new perspective.

SPEAKER_02 30:59

Yeah, and I'll take that a little bit further. Look at your kids, watch your kids, and and what I love doing is just seeing when I see them do things that Jess does and their actions or how they answer or talk. I it just reminds me of how much I love her. You know what I mean? By looking right at my kids, seeing how they emulate her little characteristics. So I I agree with you, Matt. Did did we go long today, Josh? Or we went about, you know, six, eight minutes longer than normal, but hopefully this is this is a great topic.

SPEAKER_01 31:30

I'm not even sure we tackled it as deep as we needed to. And it's really hard to do it in 30, 20, 30 minutes. Um, I just I think it's such an important topic because Josh, we we see marriages, we even see marriages in the church that are struggling and are and are failing. And and we should be the opposite. Totally. Marriages in the church should be a beacon of hope, a light in this dark world. We we should be a our marriages should be blessings to each other, but blessings to other people. Yeah. And it that's the way God designed it. Totally. And it's just not happening. So I I I I hope you take some encouragement from this because you you don't you don't have to be married. No, right? Like Christ wasn't married, Paul wasn't married. I mean, lots, I mean, there's lots of examples of people that did great things. But the majority of us, I think God created us to be in deep relationship with a woman. Yeah. And um I I can't say anything more, man. It's it's been such a blessing to my life because of God's grace. Awesome. Matt, great conversation today. We'll stop it there. Sounds good.