Confident Again

Self-Care Confidence: From Survival to Flourishing with Coach Kendra Lee

• Season 1 • Episode 8

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0:00 | 36:16

What if self-care wasn’t selfish… but essential?

In this heartfelt conversation, I’m joined by Kendra DeVito to explore the role of self-care in healing after intimate betrayal. Together, we unpack the guilt, exhaustion and survival-mode thinking that can make caring for yourself feel impossible — especially when you’re overwhelmed, caring for others, or simply trying to get through the day.

Kendra shares pieces of her own healing journey after multiple D-Days, raising five children and spending many years without access to trauma-informed support. Through her story, we explore how self-care became more than bubble baths and coffee runs — it became a pathway back to clarity, nervous system regulation, confidence, voice and self-worth.

This episode is a gentle invitation to reconnect with yourself in small, meaningful ways.

In this episode, we discuss:

  •  Why self-care can feel selfish after betrayal 
  •  The connection between self-care and nervous system healing 
  •  How betrayal trauma disconnects us from our own needs 
  •  Tiny, practical acts of self-care that actually help 
  •  Why “what makes me happy?” can feel like such a difficult question 
  •  The role of self-talk in rebuilding confidence 
  •  Self-care during demanding seasons of motherhood and overwhelm 
  •  Receiving “glimmers” of goodness in everyday life 
  •  The importance of both self-care and support from others 
  •  Moving beyond survival toward flourishing 

Memorable moments from this conversation:

"Self-care helped me find myself, use my voice and gain confidence.” — Kendra

“Sometimes self-care is simply slowing down enough to receive the moment you’re already in.” — Jane

“I want to go beyond healing and flourish.” — Kendra

Practical self-care ideas mentioned in this episode:

  •  Journaling 
  •  Walking in nature 
  •  Yoga or stretching 
  •  Lighting a candle 
  •  Drinking coffee slowly and intentionally 
  •  Taking deep breaths 
  •  Listening to music 
  •  Spending time with safe people 
  •  Watching something funny 
  •  Baking 
  •  Painting or colouring 
  •  Reading 
  •  Bubble baths 
  •  Resting without guilt 
  •  Turning off your phone 
  •  Buying yourself flowers 
  •  Watching a sunrise or sunset 
  •  Letting yourself cry 
  •  Celebrating small wins 

Connect with Kendra:

Kendra offers support groups and coaching through her Ruined to Radiant program.

Website: https://ruined2radiant.com

Instagram: @coachkendralee

Connect with Jane

If this episode encouraged you and you’d like more support for healing after betrayal, visit Quiet Wisdom

If this conversation resonated with you, please consider rating, reviewing and sharing the podcast with someone who may need encouragement today.

Gently does it with your beautiful self. 💛

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Disclaimer: The content shared on Confident Again is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended to provide medical, psychological, therapeutic, legal or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment, and should not be used as a substitute for individualised support from an appropriately qualified professional.

The experiences, perspectives and opinions shared by guests are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of Jane Gibb or Quiet Wisdom. Every person and situation is different, and listeners are encouraged to seek professional support appropriate to their own circumstances.

If you are experiencing significant distress, trauma symptoms, concerns about safety, or compulsive or addictive sexual behaviour, please seek support from a suitably qualified health or mental health professional.