From Self-Abandonment to Self-Trust with Amy Graziano

What happens when you’ve spent years saying “I’m fine” when you’re really not?

In this episode of Confident Again, I’m joined by betrayal healing coach and group facilitator Amy Graziano for a tender and honest conversation about the journey from self-abandonment to self-trust.

Amy shares pieces of her own betrayal healing story, including the devastating discovery of her husband’s affair after 32 years of marriage, and how that experience helped her recognise a deeper pattern of walking on eggshells, people-pleasing, ignoring her gut, and disconnecting from her own needs.

Together, we explore what self-abandonment can look like after betrayal: saying yes when you mean no, keeping your thoughts and feelings inside to avoid conflict, struggling to know what you want, and feeling afraid that using your voice will cost you connection.

We also talk about the brave, healing work of rebuilding self-trust. Amy shares how learning about boundaries helped her begin to show up for herself, especially when a boundary was broken and she followed through with what she needed for her own safety. That moment became a powerful step towards trusting herself again.

This conversation is full of gentle honesty, practical wisdom and deep compassion for the woman who has learned to make herself small in order to survive.

In this episode, we talk about:

•  What self-abandonment can look like in betrayal trauma recovery 
•  Why many women learn to say “I’m fine” when they’re not 
•  The fear of being “too much,” too needy, controlling or difficult 
•  How betrayal can disconnect you from your gut, intuition and needs 
•  Why boundaries are a powerful way to rebuild self-trust 
•  The importance of support groups and safe connection 
•  How to practise using your voice in small, kind, honest ways 
•  Listening to your body as part of rebuilding confidence 
•  The powerful choice to stop abandoning yourself 

Amy reminds us that self-trust does not usually return all at once. It grows through small brave moments: pausing, listening inward, telling the truth to yourself, asking for what you need, and following through when your safety matters.

A gentle mantra from this episode:

I am not going to abandon myself.

If you have felt disconnected from your own needs, unsure of your voice, or afraid to take up space after betrayal, I hope this episode helps you feel less alone and more able to begin coming home to yourself.

Reflection questions for listeners

Where am I saying “I’m fine” when I’m actually not?

What is one small place where I could practise telling myself the truth?

What does my body tell me when something feels unsafe, uncomfortable or important?

Where might I be choosing connection with someone else at the cost of connection with myself?

What is one small way I can show myself, “I will not abandon you”?

To contact Amy: Reflections in the Waves

Connect with Jane at Quiet Wisdom

Join the Support Group Waitlist

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hello friends. Welcome to Confident Again, a place to gain clarity and confidence for women who are healing from intimate betrayal. I'm Jane Gibb, and with my very special guest, Amy, I'll be discussing the journey from self-abandonment to self-trust. If you felt uncertain about asking for your needs to be met, or disconnected from your sense of value, or stuck in patterns of saying you're fine when you're not, this episode is for you. We shared stories from our own experiences, practical tips, and a powerful mantra that will encourage you to grow in self-trust. Amy is a betrayal healing coach and group facilitator. Her Heart for Women, honed by her own experiences of pain and stepping into healing, shines throughout our conversation. Without further ado, let's listen to the conversation. Today I'm really privileged to have Amy Graziano here with me as my guest. I met Amy in a training for peer facilitators and saw what a very engaged and real person that she is. And one of the things that Don and I talk about with Amy is her showing up to training with a sweatshirt that said, I'm fine, everything's fine, we're all fine. And that kind of summed up in just one sweatshirt, how we sometimes feel about gritting our teeth and getting on with it when we're actually not fine underneath. So it has been such a privilege to reconnect with Amy post-training and um get to see a little bit more of her heart. Um, it's really good to have you here, Amy.

SPEAKER_02 1:46

Thank you so much, Jane. Thanks for having me. Yeah, I've loved all the episodes of your podcast.

SPEAKER_00 1:53

So it's really an honor. Oh, I'm so glad to have you here. I know this is going to be of value to the ladies who hear it. So I wondered if we could kick off with just a little bit about your own journey in the betrayal healing space.

SPEAKER_02 2:11

Sure. So my journey began with a devastating discovery, as probably most of our stories did. And um it led into recovering. Um, and through that recovery journey, it forced me to confront a deeper truth about myself, which was that I had been abandoning myself for a very long time to keep a what I thought was a piece in my relationship. And after 32 years of marriage, when we were empty nesters and we had just bought our dream house, I thought we were on a good path after many years of ups and downs. And that's when I discovered my husband's affair, and our relationship blew up. And as you know, as you can imagine, so did my my world at that point. Yeah, and so I had a lot of really good therapy and uh recovery groups, um, which I was very grateful for that good support that I had. And it was through that work that I was doing that I realized I had lost the ability to trust myself or even know what I needed. Um so I realized that I had spent a lot of years walking on eggshells and just generally ignoring my gut to prevent disconnection and realizing that I had been abandoning myself in that way was really devastating. So for me, healing has been about grieving and finding community and learning how to honor my intuition and reclaiming my voice.

SPEAKER_00 4:34

Thanks for sharing, Amy. Um you've just said in just a couple of minutes some really significant uh things that have happened in your life. Um just that little picture of 32 years in the dream house and discovering a devastating secret and what that would have been like for you. And I'm uh hearing um a determination to to find yourself under the wreckage of that news and uh the journey to uh seeing even uh before the discovery, there were some things that uh hindsight tells you around walking on eggshells, around peacekeeping to avoid disconnection. And um, that makes so much sense in the context of a situation where there was not integrity and where there were damaging, untold secrets.

SPEAKER_01 5:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 5:44

So today we really want to focus on this topic of self-abandonment and what does it look like to begin to show up for ourselves, to begin to see that our priority is to actually be there for our own needs and um grow in our connection to ourself and what that looks like. And Amy and I um have been talking a bit about this topic of self-abandonment and some of the really solid practical ways that we can begin to connect with our own needs, find our voice, and develop that self-trust that is so important to feeling whole and settled and happy again. Amy, how would you describe what the journey looks like from that perspective?

SPEAKER_02 6:49

Yeah, so it's it really looks like a shift, like you said, Jane, from self-abandonment to self-trust. And I found that it was really about the process of slowing down and sitting with the discomfort and the reality and getting grounded enough to be able to listen to my body and my intuition.

SPEAKER_00 7:27

So when you're using the term self-abandonment, can you describe a little bit for us? What does that look like?

SPEAKER_02 7:36

Yeah. For me, I think it was rooted in being a chronic people pleaser. I tend to defer to others um for everything because it felt safer than having my own needs. And some examples I could give you would be that if there was a potential conflict or disconnection, I would just shut down and keep in my thoughts and my feelings instead of standing up for myself. And um back to your reference about my sweatshirt, um I would always act like I was fine even when I wasn't. And I would say that I was fine even when I wasn't. And I didn't ever reach out for help. And um, you know, I think sadly I didn't really realize that there was help for some of the things that I was struggling with. Um also had, you know, difficulties making decisions, simple decisions, like where do I want to go to eat dinner, or what do I want to have for dinner? Or even um, and I've heard this from other partners too: like, what is my favorite color? You know, over time I kind of disconnected from what do I really like? And um, what's what songs do I like? Um I think it was it became too painful to feel my own feelings. So I just stuffed everything down and just tried to soldier on.

SPEAKER_00 9:38

Yeah. I what I'm hearing you say is that um self-abandonment looks like um a lack of self-connection, a lack of connection between your inner reality and your outer reality, where your inner reality is feeling uncertain or nervous. Maybe there are fears or sadness or anger down there, but your outer reality looks like I'm fine, I'm just getting on with it, I'm making it work, I'm gonna make all these people happy. And also looks like a disconnection between what are my actual needs and what do I actually want. So not really knowing my own myself in that space. I can totally relate to that. Um, what comes up for me? I'm I'm ashamed to admit it, but like, and it's not really related to betrayal, but in terms of knowing myself, it's like when it comes to voting, like someone just tell me who to vote for because I don't really trust that I know what to do about this, right? So, and that around, you know, like what's my favorite color or what kind of meal do I want? That the paralysis around choices. What do I really want? You know, maybe um like I've been out with friends and um people said, What do you want? Where do you want to go for dinner? And I'm like, I don't know, you just choose because I don't really know what I want. And for me too, that journey has been going, oh, actually I feel like pizza tonight, or actually I don't want to have Thai food tonight, and having um an awareness just in my own self, so being connected to my own desires and wants, and as simple as what do I want to have for dinner tonight?

SPEAKER_01 11:25

Yeah. Totally relate to that.

SPEAKER_00 11:28

Yeah. So when you're talking about self-abandonment, I think I'm hearing that disconnection in, or sometimes I use the word disintegration, or like it's all the parts of you are not fully known and fully integrated. Does that describe it?

SPEAKER_02 11:45

Yeah, I think it does.

SPEAKER_00 11:48

Yeah. Yeah. And so it makes sense then that in the context of a betrayal scenario, that in order to make life work, that you um you you disconnect from what your gut is telling you because part of you is trying to believe the external reality, but there is some hidden reality that your gut's telling you about that you don't know what to do with. So part of the the disconnection from the gut experience or the intuition is trying to um say, well, the external reality must be true, and therefore my internal reality has to be ignored.

SPEAKER_02 12:37

Yeah. And you know, and the occasions where I could feel my gut or hear my intuition, it it was too scary. And then I had to quiet it down and and ignore it. And you know, that's really painful um to think about that.

SPEAKER_00 13:04

Yeah, the terror around if my gut is telling me the truth, the implications of that are life-changing, yeah, are devastating. And so to try to maintain what feels doable makes sense in the context of if I if I challenge or if I engage with what my intuition is telling me, then my whole life is about gonna fall apart.

SPEAKER_01 13:40

Right.

SPEAKER_00 13:42

Yeah. So it makes sense that it also would get tucked away or ignored because that feels like what I can actually do in the moment.

SPEAKER_01 13:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 13:52

So what are some ways that you began to um show up for yourself, Amy, in as you develop this awareness around self-abandonment, disconnection from your inner reality? Um, what are some of the ways that you began to develop a sense of more connection?

SPEAKER_02 14:16

Yeah. Um, I learned about boundaries. And I remember the first time that I had set a boundary and it was broken, and I followed through with what I needed um to protect myself from that broken boundary, and how scary that was. It caused a disconnection, which is what I was afraid of. But it was temporary. And afterwards, I felt extremely proud of myself and empowered. It was almost like I couldn't believe that I did that, and it helped me trust myself just a little bit and realize that I had done this thing that felt really scary, but it was really good for me. So that was huge.

SPEAKER_00 15:20

Yeah, I literally have goosebumps when you talk about that because I just think how brave it is to follow through when a boundary has been broken and stay connected to yourself and disconnect from the unsafe behavior and how that is showing up for yourself, not abandoning yourself, but being true to what you actually need.

SPEAKER_02 15:50

Yeah. Yeah, it almost makes me want to cry to think about it. It was um it felt big. And um, you know, just just to like be able to trust myself a tiny bit and know that I could I can do this.

SPEAKER_00 16:05

Yeah. And in your scenario, that led to a disconnection that was later repaired. And I'm just thinking of some of the ladies for whom that it doesn't happen. If they if they follow through on their boundaries, that may create a disconnection that continues. The difficult choice that has to be made is will I uh risk disconnection from the person who is disrespecting my boundaries, or will I disconnect from myself?

SPEAKER_01 16:39

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 16:41

And the long-term impact of where that crossroads in choice uh takes us um is uh really huge. And it can feel terrifying in the moment. We've got all kinds of wounds around uh connection around attachment. And so for m me to make a choice to risk losing that attachment in order to stay connected to myself can feel uh existential, like who am I if I don't have this connection. And I think what you're saying is when you made the brave decision to follow through on that boundary, you actually experienced that proud moment of actually know a little bit more of who I am and I feel the strength of standing up for myself.

SPEAKER_01 17:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 17:41

And I want to say to the ladies for whom that disconnection ends up being long term that the benefit of self-connection, nobody else can give that to you. You were the only one that can give that to yourself. And that's a hard thing to see in the height of crisis. And when boundaries are broken, we can feel so dysregulated and out of our out of our like selves. And so to reach down and go, okay, what is it that I really need and how will I back my own safety and needs in this moment? That's a brave thing to do. Uh, what you're saying is it's beginning to rebuild that sense of confidence in self.

SPEAKER_01 18:32

That's right.

SPEAKER_02 18:33

Yeah, and I still feel scared sometimes to use my voice and speak up for what I need. Sometimes I need to have to give myself a pep talk. Yeah, I have to take a pause and and really kind of get my thoughts together and um realize that it'll be worth it to speak up for myself and share my needs.

SPEAKER_00 19:05

Yeah. And I don't know about you, Amy, but in my own experience, the self-abandonment and not speaking up for my needs and people pleasing that you talk about, that began for me when I was a little girl. Yeah. And so part of the journey for me has been recognizing that little girl still lives with me. She's still part of my experience. And sometimes things happen and she still gets scared and she wants to go to those comfortable or those familiar ways of making life work. And so part of my own journey in self-connection and not abandoning myself has been recognizing that she's there and and giving her reassurance that we've got this, we know better ways to do this. And that it makes sense that she wants to, that she feels scared, but and we've got this, we've got support around us, we know what to do.

SPEAKER_02 20:08

I love that because you're right, it it started with me when I was really young too. I um I was always told if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all. And that's my go-to, you know, pathway of behavior is just to not say anything at all if it's gonna be hard for someone else to hear. So I love that you are talking to your younger self and reassuring her and letting her know that you have support and you're an adult and you're you're both gonna be okay. I love that. Yeah, so thank you. Thank you for that um that thought. I'll have to remember that.

SPEAKER_00 21:01

That's been power such a powerful thing for me to reconnect with her and that experience and tell the truth about that experience. There's reasons why she learned to be that way. That was about survival. But now that I'm an adult, um I now have the opportunity to help her learn different ways of getting her needs met. So, what has changed for you, Amy, as a result of working on these things?

SPEAKER_02 21:34

I feel more alive. I feel more like myself. And I feel like my relationships are richer because I'm allowing people to see who I really am.

SPEAKER_00 21:56

It's a phrase that's coming up for me is about taking up space. Because in relationships where we don't know ourselves and we don't advocate for ourselves and for our needs, and this is what I want for dinner, to come back to that really simple thing. But even at a different level, to be able to say, instead of saying, I'm fine, saying, I'm actually really angry right now because this happened. Or I'm feeling really sad because you didn't show up for me the way that I needed. And that creates a space. It's a it's like a bridge to this is the real me. Will you be in relationship with the real me and not just the me that's fine all the time?

SPEAKER_01 22:53

Yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_00 22:56

And richer relationships have that space of um I get to show up in all the colors of my experience and be seen and welcomed as I am. And that includes navigating when I'm an uncomfortable person for other people. And learning ways to be honest about that experience, to recognize when ruptures happen and find proactive ways to repair and to take responsibility for what is mine, but let other people take responsibility for what is theirs.

SPEAKER_02 23:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 23:46

So it's about the the depth of self-knowledge. The depth of connection to who Amy really is. Right. Um, that is contributing to a richer experience of relationships all around. Yeah. Was there anything else that you wanted to share around your journey of this?

SPEAKER_02 24:20

Just understanding that stuffing down my feelings and not sharing my thoughts was actually a form of dishonesty because I was pretending to be fine. And I think that realizing that is also kind of given me some strength to say the things that feel hard. Um, because again, I feel like I I want to be an honest person and I want to have authentic relationships. So that's motivating for me.

SPEAKER_00 25:11

Yeah, authenticity was the word that was coming up for me when you were saying that, because I think there's a couple of pieces around the dishonesty piece and and actually coming to the word dishonesty in the context of sharing feelings. Um, that feels like an awareness piece. Like because, at least in my own experience, I wouldn't have said I was dishonest, I wouldn't have put that lens over it because I wasn't actually connected with my own feelings and my own experience.

SPEAKER_02 25:45

Yeah, that's a good point.

SPEAKER_00 25:47

Yeah. So I had to learn to recognize that I'm not fine, I'm actually angry. And I'm not fine, I'm actually scared. And so when I can say that to myself, then I can honestly bring that into my connections with other people who are safe enough for to be able to hold that for me.

SPEAKER_01 26:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 26:15

So the journey to self-honesty is also part of the journey away from self-abandonment to self-trust.

SPEAKER_01 26:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 26:26

I had this powerful moment in um a workshop that I went to where we were talking about themes from our lives, and uh one of the themes from my life was abandonment that I'd experienced and the and the felt sense of abandonment. Um and I was we were in a group processing, and I said something like, and I, you know, I realized that I've been abandoned, but I'm not going to abandon myself. And I remember the therapist said, What did you just say? I said, Well, I'm not going to abandon myself. She said, What did you just say? And then I got it. I'm like, Oh, I am not going to abandon myself. And it was so it was like a visceral moment of I actually can do that. I actually can show up for me in a new way now that I have this self-knowledge and awareness around what's been happening for me. And I've often come back to that moment in my mind. I that it's the felt experience of I can do this. I can actually not abandon myself. I can actually speak up for myself, have my own back. I can actually develop the self-trust that I know what I need, and I can find ways to get my needs met.

SPEAKER_02 27:55

That sounds really powerful.

SPEAKER_00 27:57

It was a really powerful healing moment for me in my journey. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 28:02

Yeah. And I love that you can go back to that and feel that and yeah. And use that in when you need to.

SPEAKER_00 28:12

Yeah. I feel like those felt experiences of self-connection are so powerful. And I actually saw that in you when you talked about feeling so proud of yourself for holding your boundary and and following through. Yeah, I feel that. So what might get in the way of us growing in this area of developing self-trust?

SPEAKER_02 28:38

Fear. I think um we've been conditioned by society to be fine, to not share our difficult feelings, even our good feelings sometimes. And we have this well-worn path that we've been walking on our whole lives, and it's hard to step off of that sometimes. Um, and just you know, the fear of what might happen and what might happen to this relationship, and will this person leave? Will they abandon me? So I think um that's a big one.

SPEAKER_00 29:28

And yeah, so if I couldn't just reflect on that a little bit, um the fear of abandonment, the fear of rejection, the fear of unknown consequences of showing up for myself and being different in the way that I um the way that I appear in relationships, and and what are the consequences of that gonna be? And is that going to be unbearable for me? Yeah. And so we're right back at that space where I have to choose between um inauthentic connection with a person who is not treating me well, and authentic connection with myself, right? And it makes sense that fear comes up in that space, yeah, because it's a it's a different way of operating.

SPEAKER_02 30:26

It's not what we've been doing for decades. And again, I think of the if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all. Um, that that one you know sticks with me from when I was a young girl. And I I think there are also some partners that um feel like maybe they don't have the right to ask for what they want, or that if they ask for something, they'll be seen as being too much or too needy.

SPEAKER_00 31:10

What else might get in the way of growth in this area?

SPEAKER_02 31:13

You know, the the the known path, and and not quite understanding or really having the tools to be able to create a new path.

SPEAKER_00 31:28

I want to talk more about the fear of being too much, the fear of being um too needy. What else did you say there? Um, you don't have the right to ask for what you want. Not having the right, and how that we've been shaped by like that from our childhoods, most likely, and in the communities in which we grow up. And so those beliefs, those are beliefs, and there's I hear shame in that, I'm I'm gonna be too much, and that fear of how people are gonna perceive me and what they might think about me, and all of that can also get in the way of me choosing me instead of me choosing to be inauthentic to hold on to something that I'm afraid to lose. And I'd like to talk a bit more about the what you said about the familiar paths. The we have these well-worn paths, like if our brain is a jungle, we've got certain paths in the jungle of our brain that we've walked on a lot.

SPEAKER_01 32:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 32:36

The the people-pleasing paths, the make myself small path, the what is it? If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all path. Well, that's all sitting there in our brains. And that's part of our neural circuitry that we've spent decades building and reinforcing. And so what you're saying is it's hard to step away from the familiar and get out our machetes and start chopping through other parts of the jungle to get to a destination that is is better for us, that's healing for us. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 33:15

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 33:17

And it's about learning the skills. What skills and tools and support do I need to make those difficult changes? They feel uncomfortable.

SPEAKER_02 33:28

Exactly. Yeah. I I think that first of all, you have to have an awareness that that's what's happening. And then um a tool, a tool belt or a set of tools that you can try and see if it's going to help you get where you would rather be.

SPEAKER_00 33:51

Yeah.

unknown 33:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 33:53

So what are some tools that have been useful for you on this journey?

SPEAKER_02 33:58

Yeah, some tools that have been helpful for me. Um, I know that partner support groups were really a lifeline because they taught me that it's safe and healing to use my authentic voice, gave me a space to practice sharing what my experience was and what feelings came up for me around those experiences.

SPEAKER_00 34:31

Yeah. So you show up in a support group and you this is your place where you talk about the stuff you don't talk about with the people you're afraid of losing connection with. So support group gives you that space to experience um what it's like to be received when you're not being nice.

SPEAKER_02 34:55

Yeah, and whenever when I'm not fine.

SPEAKER_00 34:58

Yeah, and when you're not fine, exactly. Yes, yeah. Yeah, and to have people mirror back to you that what you're experiencing is valid.

SPEAKER_02 35:09

Yeah, yeah, that that was really, really important. And I think also practice practicing using my voice in maybe some safer situations than a place where I might be afraid of disconnection, but maybe if I didn't my meal wasn't hot enough and speaking up about it. Um, and for me, uh another thing that is has been very important is to do those kinds of things in a kind way. So to practice saying this is hard for me to say, but what I'm actually feeling is I'm angry, but just doing doing that in a kind way gives me, I think, a level of comfort that I have a right to use my voice and I have a right to share what's I'm feeling, and I can do it in a kind way. I don't have to fly off the handle or scream profanities. Um, so that that was helpful for me too, just giving myself the permission to um speak that way.

SPEAKER_00 36:37

And part of the truth that you're speaking is that it's hard for you to speak that truth.

SPEAKER_02 36:43

Yeah. So that that's a a tool that I've used. And I think something else that's been really helpful for me, and is like I mentioned before, just slowing down and taking a pause before I respond or before I run away, because I tend to be avoidant and I tend to be one of those people who just wants to leave and never talk about it again. But what I've learned is that if I just sit, be still, and feel my body to see if my gut is clenched or my chest is tight, then that's telling me how I truly feel. And then I can formulate a response.

SPEAKER_00 37:34

Um, there's some really deep self-trust around that. That when your body is communicating with you, you listen. Yeah, and that's also a learned skill, I think. 100% because especially when we're feeling fear. Um, it's easy when we're in the place of fear to reach for what's familiar, which is push it away, or just say whatever's gonna make it work and go make it go away. And it's brave to go, hang on, I need a second. Check in with yourself, your gut, your body, your emotions, and speak the truth from that place. And that's powerful um showing up for yourself and self-trust.

SPEAKER_02 38:26

I guess, and just a couple other things, um tools that I can think of would be boundaries, like I mentioned before, and decide don't want to tolerate or what you can't put up with, and decide ahead of time what you're gonna do if that boundary is broken, and having that thought process, um sort of a plan for how you'll respond ahead of time. Um, I found that to be very valuable rather than having to make a decision on the spot and um something that may not feel um feel like it's the right path. So think thinking out thinking out things like that ahead of time was helpful for me.

SPEAKER_00 39:22

Yeah. And my experience of that is that there's a whole range of possible responses, and having done that ahead of time gives me more clarity in the moment. That doesn't have to be a black or white, all on or all off. There are um there's you can create distance without ending the relationship. And if and then it may be that that ends up being the outcome, but you've you've you've created some scaffolding around it so that you are protecting yourself at every stage.

SPEAKER_02 39:59

Yeah, and and something that you're comfortable with. The last thing was just a little mantra, um, sort of relating back to what we talked about with um honesty and just saying to myself that using my voice is an act of integrity, and um just reminding myself of that if I'm feeling timid or or hesitant about speaking up about something.

SPEAKER_00 40:29

Yeah, that that's so deeply connected to it sounds like it's connected to a really important value for you. Yeah, using my voice as an act of integrity. This is me living by my values, this is me being whole. Yeah. Thank you, Amy. That that was powerful. Um, just to think about the steps that you have taken and that you're offering me and our listeners around what it means to develop self-trust, to find my voice to connect to myself and not abandon myself anymore. So if there's somebody listening who's in the middle of it right now, what would you like to say to them to support their confidence in this area?

SPEAKER_02 41:27

Yeah, well, first I just want to say that you're not alone and that your pain is welcome here in this community. And you might not believe it right now, but there's still a voice of small voice inside of you that's buried under all the noise of trauma and years of people pleasing. And trusting yourself again isn't gonna happen overnight. But it it just small, brave choices you can make every day can move you towards growing back at the self-trust that you deserve.

SPEAKER_00 42:23

Yeah, thank you, Amy. Just what's that one thing that I could do, little thing to be connected to myself in this moment? I love the encouragement too, you know, around um there's a there's a reality about the time it takes because we're talking about beating a new path through a well-worn through a jungle, yeah. And the kindness of um the self-kindness around stepping into that brave space in little ways adds up over time. Right. Yeah. So are there some supports and resources that you offer that you'd like our listeners to know about?

SPEAKER_02 43:09

Yeah, thanks for asking, Jane. Um I have a coaching practice that I call Reflections in the Waves. And I offer one-on-one coaching and ongoing uh betrayed partner support groups. And um, we also have um a wait list forming for a focused workbook study group for the um well-known workbook unleashing your power, which is uh very powerful um workbook that is really fun to do together and in group.

SPEAKER_00 43:51

Yeah, thank you, Amy. That's a great workbook. Um, it's just been such a privilege to talk to you about this journey from self-abandonment to self-trust, to stepping into the brave work of standing up for yourself and that um really key moment you gave us around the first time that you backed your own backed your own boundary with a consequence and a follow-through. And um I just really um feel so honored that you would share those pieces of your story with us. Um, as and I hope that anyone who's listening will feel as encouraged as I do after um sitting with you for this time of discussion around this really important topic of developing self-trust. So thank you so much.

SPEAKER_02 44:42

Thank you. I've learned so much from you too in this conversation. Yeah, thanks, Amy. It's been wonderful.

SPEAKER_00 44:49

Thanks.

SPEAKER_02 44:50

You're welcome.

SPEAKER_00 44:51

Thanks for joining my guest Amy and me for this conversation about growing in self-trust. If this has encouraged you, I'd love for you to rate, review, and share the episode so that others can be encouraged too. Amy is available for coaching in groups through her platform Reflections in the Waves. The link for her website is in the show notes. If you'd like to connect with me, have a look at my website, quietwisdom.com.au, and leave me a message. I'd love to hear from you. You might also like to join the waitlist for my next support group, Reclaim Your Confidence. Until next time, gently does it with your beautiful self.