Dying in LA LA Land
This PodCast series from Ron Campise Retired Night Supervisor L.A.P.D. Crime Scene Investigator/Documentarian with 20 years on the job, 13 years of which as a Supervisor on the Night Shift. The busiest shift for Crime Scene Investigation, mostly from 2 to 4 am, "The Hours of the Spirits of the Dead". With over 3000 cases personally investigated and documented everything from run of the mill murders to occasional death of celebrities. And a vast number of fatal accidents, death investigations, robberies, officer involved shootings, drug houses and meth labs with vast amounts of cash, literally falling out of the sky. As the evening super I coordinated with a squad of investigators another 10000 cases. "Dying In LA LA Land" Are Stories of my actual Experiences and/or Experiences of Friends or Co-Workers, So be prepared to be shocked, horrified, amused or just plain disgusted!!
Dying in LA LA Land
Dying in LA LA Land: "Krazy Kats in Kimonos vs. the Spooky Kabuki.".
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Ron Campise answers the question, If you have well dressed Krazy Kats, How would YOU Feed them, after you Die?
Thank you for listening, Please Check Out my other Episodes.
Welcome to my La La Land Podcast. This is Ron Campise and the story is Crazy Cats and Kimonos versus the spooky kabuki. The evening seemed strange. There was a full bright bad moon rising in the east on the first day of spring in Lala Land. I was on my way to a death investigation called in Hollandbick Division, a section called Boyle Heights on Breed Street. It was supposed to be a routine death investigation. Body elderly female cat lady was inside a small two bedroom home. She had been dead for around a week. The night detective in charge from Central Bureau Homicide made sure to let me know she had cats, for to be precise. I was now putting it all together. Dead elderly female cat lady be dead for one week, and after a week with no food, the cats had probably been snacking on her. What I didn't expect when I got to the house was that the cats were very unnaturally friendly, happy at first to see everyone, and they were all dressed in unique, form fitting kimonos. The biggest shock was that the dead lady, known to her neighbors as a spooky kabuki of Breed Street, had been partially eaten by the little kimono clad cats. She was also dressed in what appeared to be an elaborate ceremonial kimono. By all intentional purposes, with the long shock of white hair on her head and what was left of her face and chest, she must have looked just like a Japanese kabuki actor. Her weekly routine was that she would walk the streets, pushing the stroller with her four little kimono clad kitties, and go to nearby Hollandbeck Park, where she would sit and let her loyal kimono cats roam. They never went far from her side for she was Mama Kabuki, and the cats her loyal retainers. Kids at first were afraid of the spooky kabuki because of her appearance. The white hair parted down the middle, the heavy mascara on her eyelids, and to top it off, bright red lipstick. Her skin appeared to be a naturally white shade, and that elaborate gown pushing that stroller at four cats in kimonos made quite a spectacle, even for jaded Lala Land. The spooky kabuki must have had a premonition of her impending death a week earlier, and the coroner later determined by the empty cans of cat food near the foot of her bed, and surmised that shortly before her death she had intentionally smeared cat food on her face and chest. The hungry and helpless kitties kimonos, after a period of time passed, must have been ravenously hungry and began feasting on her, especially all the soft, fleshy parts, just as nature intended. Until that spring evening, one week later, when patrol officers broke down the front door and entered the house on a welfare check. The cats and were very happy to see the officers, the Central Knight detective and me, the crime scene investigator. The cats at that time were very loving and friendly to all, and one patrol officer even picked up one of the kitties in their kimonos, due to its undeniable cuteness. I thought it was bizarre behavior for felines from the get go, beyond strange, and brushed off the cats and kimono's affections and kept my distance. My spidey senses were in near full alarm with deep unease. Then he spoke out loud as he examined the remains. Hmm the hungry kitties ate her titties. The coroners, because of all the death they witnessed, usually have a strange sense of humor. Then the coroner's aides bagged the spooky kabuki's bodies, closed the zipper and began rolling the gurney towards the door. That's when all hell broke loose. As the zipper closed and the gurney moved, the once cute kitties and kimonos let out a loud, long, guttural growl, and began attacking the now cursing and yelling officers. Coroner aides and hapless night detective, scratching, biting, and jumping on their heads and backs. Two of the now crazy cats and kimonas were riding on the gurney, continuously scratching, growling and clawing at the zippered body containing the spooky kabuki's remains. All the way to the van. The aides were knocking the crazy cats off the gurney. They would quickly jump back on in a frenzy. The body was quickly put into the coroner's transport van, which had sped away at a high speed. Anticipating a problem from the get-go, which had materialized in the worst way, I then had a revelation or a possible brain fart, and quickly stepped into the kitchen. I partially closed the door and began frantically opening the kitchen cupboards in search of a box of dried cat food. I came out of the kitchen after finding the food, just as all four crazy cats and kimonos were now outside, two riding under Gurney in the van, two others jumping wildly as if possessed, clawing into the air. I stepped outside onto the house's stoop, passing the crazy cat carnage in the living room, and then shook the box of cat food. The herd of now frenzied demonic cats and kimonos quickly came running towards me on the stoop. I poured all the dried cat food on the stoop's floor and then stepped aside, awaiting my chosen fate. The crazy cats and kimonos completely ignored me and began devouring the cat food. Those hapless souls left inside the house and slowly and cautiously came out. Patrol officers with batons and tasers at the ready. The coroner had scalpels in both hands, and the night detective even had his gun drawn. The crazy cats and their cute kimonos finished devouring the food and were once again as calm as could be for formerly crazy demon kitties. They once again tried to rub up against the officers and detectives who were not having any of it. The honeymoon was over. The calm, no longer crazy cats were herded back into the house on Breed Street, and the front door closed with a patrol officer, shotgun at the ready, guarding, awaiting animal control officers. The crazy cats and kimonas were probably just starving, sad and angry at the loss of their master, the one and only spooky kabuki of Breed Street. This was just another story in a spring evening death investigation, with a bad moon rising low in the eastern sky here in Lala Land. Thank you for listening to my Dying in Lala Land podcast. Hit the follow button. We would love your feedback and tell your friends.