Unity Community
A place where the congregation at Unity Church in Greenville, NC hear stories of life change, discover how God is working through our ministries, and hear from missionaries we support.
Unity Community
Renn McMurray
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Host Tim DeCresie talks with Renn McMurray about God's faithfulness in life's unexpected turns.
Hello and welcome to the Unity Community Podcast. This is a place where our church family can hear real stories of life change and discover how God is working through our ministries and missionaries, both here and around the world. From conversations with our staff and leaders to testimonies from our people, we're pulling back the curtain on what God is doing in and through Unity Church. Thanks for listening. Let's grow closer to the Lord as we grow closer one to another.
SPEAKER_01Welcome, I'm your host Tim DeCreestie. Thanks for taking a moment to listen. One of the things I enjoy most about these member stories is getting the opportunity to hear how God works uniquely in each person's life. Every journey is different, but his faithfulness always remains the same. So today we're sitting down with Ren McMurray to hear a little about her story, her faith journey, and how God led her here to unity and what he is teaching her in this season of life. One of the blessings of being a part of a church family is learning from one another's experiences and seeing how God continues to work through every season of life. Ren, welcome to the podcast.
SPEAKER_02Thank you.
SPEAKER_01So glad you could be with us and your willingness to share. Well, let's just jump into it because nobody wants to hear me talk. They want to hear from you. So let's open with tell us a little bit about yourself.
SPEAKER_02I um am a mom of two. I have a 15-year-old son named Baker. I have a 12-year-old daughter, Elliot. I had a wonderful husband, Roger. I have been a middle school teacher for my whole working career. I taught middle school math and science. In the last year, I have transitioned out of the classroom and now am the academic advisor at a local Christian classical school in town.
SPEAKER_01Okay. Did you like did you like teach at middle school?
SPEAKER_02I loved it. They're hilarious and awkward and funny. Yeah. I like them a lot.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, because their brains are just starting to turn off. Yeah. And uh they think they're they know it, but you can still fool them a little bit. That's right. So it's a nice time to be in the classroom.
SPEAKER_02They leave you with a funny story every day, for sure.
SPEAKER_01And as far as the math and science, you and Terry would be kindred spirits. That was her background.
SPEAKER_02Oh yeah.
SPEAKER_01All right. Well, tell us a little bit about your faith journey.
SPEAKER_02Okay. So I grew up in church. I lived in Nightdale, about an hour from here, and had a great childhood. You could see the church from my house, and we were there all the time. My parents were both very involved there, and if the doors were open, it felt like we were there. Um I don't remember a time when I did not believe in the Lord. I grew up in um singing like Jesus Loves Me, and I believed that. I always did. Um I was good, I followed rules. I like a rule. My personality just um makes it it makes me feel like less chaotic. I I like so I like a rule. So um it was actually pretty easy for me to fall into doing right, but um that didn't mean I got it right. I um because I like a rule and it makes me feel safe, I could easily find myself living for a rule more than God. Um I probably would have been called a Pharisee at the it back in the day of Bible times because I did like the rule and out of a good place is where that probably started. But um I knew I was a sinner, I knew I needed Jesus, but I still could find myself wanting to um follow the rules and do better and be a better Christian. Like I could just do it better and earn a look better to God if I followed those rules. So um, but as I grew up, I realized um I probably believed what I was taught more than digging into the Bible itself. Um super thankful for the good teachers in my life. I that could have been a terrible thing, but um I had a great um, I had great Sunday school teachers. I had my youth pastor Ray Smelser was wonderful in my life. Um so I'm super, super thankful for them. But um, I realized I probably believed more of what I was taught than actually growing in a personal relationship with the Lord. And as I got older, I dug into the Bible more. Um I was learning about God, I was asking the hard questions, wrestling with the part I didn't like, and um, you know, learning that he could handle my questions, and that was fine. And um, you know, as you dig into the Bible and learn the character of God, you the redemption, you really realize these rules aren't um what I need. They're not even in there. You know, they're not even in the Bible. The rules I was probably bound to and it was much um freer living and um just felt like I was so I I think I was I know I was saved very young, and I'm thankful for that and had a pretty steady um walk with the Lord, but the maturing that happened as I grew and got into the word I'm super thankful for.
SPEAKER_01So you said um you kind of took things at face value, you know, and kind of towed that uh straight and narrow. Um who do you think had maybe the most influential impact in your spiritual walk?
SPEAKER_02Um so growing up, um, well, I I had great Christians around me, you know, um family members that were wonderful. My grandma uh loved me and was always in her Bible. I mean, she didn't talk about the Lord without tearing up and crying, you know. So I had all of that around me. That youth pastor that I spoke about, Ray, um those were he came to our church when I was in the sixth grade, so he was there from sixth till when I graduated. And he's the first person I remember saying like the words a personal personal relationship with the Lord, and he really dug that into us. Um I and he, you know, he cared about us. He was he made it fun. After after football games on Friday, it felt like the whole town went to the fifth quarter that the churches in town did, and you know, it was just a fun place to be. Um he made it, he made it that for us. He's and he was invested in us. I uh my dad passed away a few months ago, he was there for that too. You know, he's still showing up in our lives and um cares about our walk with the Lord. So I he was a big influence when I was growing up.
SPEAKER_01Well, looking back, um, where do you where do you see God's hand most clearly in your life?
SPEAKER_02Now um I would say it is probably become I'm super thankful. There was a time I would have probably been the kid who said, I don't have a testimony, no big change has happened in my life. Um but what was happening for those years was just God being steady in my life. And I'm so thankful for that now because when my life was shaken to the core is when I already had 40 years or yeah, close to 40 years of God proving himself faithful to me, God proving himself um steady and good um when things didn't go my way all those years God had still proven himself good. So I knew he was still good um when things were when things just flipped. Um I knew that um he could handle hard questions and I wasn't gonna have hard questions and my kids were gonna have questions. So all of that um shook that foundation shook and still and stood firm um when Roger passed away. And so um that happened December of 2023. We were at church that morning singing. Elliot was in the little children's choir and sang a solo, and we got in the car and we're headed to the airport. We um our family loved to travel together, and we were going to Montana to go on a family ski trip, and we were excited about it. We've been planning it for a long time, so there was just a buzz of excitement that morning. And on the way to the Riley airport, um, a wreck happened in front of us. We saw it, it looked like it could be serious, and so we pulled over. Roger got out of the car to check on the person, and um, while he was checking on that victim, another car lost control, came on the passenger side of our car and hit Roger, and another man, another man had stopped Greg, and um both of them were killed at the scene. Um so my kids were in the car, I was in the car, we all saw that happen in the blink of an eye. Um so super thankful for a steady walk with the Lord prior to that because that was when it I had believed it forever and I needed it to be real, and it has um proven God has proven himself over and over in that situation.
SPEAKER_01Well, in that moment, um did you see God or do you see the chaos?
SPEAKER_02Um it was one of the clearest uh gifts, it was just one of the kindest gifts of the Lord that right then and there he showed up kind and good. So that whole situation is probably never gonna make sense to me. Like um losing your daddy when he was so good and you need him. Like when you're a 12-year-old boy or a 10-year-old girl, you know, you need your dad. And so that doesn't make sense to me, or a community um losing their good um doctor. And Roger was committed to that. He worked hard at doing that well and pointing people, healing people physically, but pointing people to Jesus and he was doing good things, and you know, losing your partner, it just doesn't make sense. But what does make sense? God is good. He showed up so quick as kind and good. And um, for instance, little things when we look back, like that wreck happened at the exit that my parents live at. We weren't headed to my parents' house, but that exit happened, I mean, that wreck happened at that exit. My parents were able to get us in less than five minutes. That just felt really kind of the Lord. I mean, he knew that that was Roger's last day, but to make it where we had support right away. And before they even showed up, um, it was getting chaotic. It was getting loud. We had already called 911 for the wreck that happened before us. So ambulances and fire trucks were showing up and it was getting really loud and moving fast and slow all at the same time. And um, Baker said, Mom, can I get out the iPad I packed for the airplane for me and Elliot so we don't have to hear this? And I said, That's fine, sure. And when he pulled it out of his bag, it started going bling bling bling bling, like just alerting. Um and that iPad was not set to the volume to be on, it was set to silence and no notifications. So it was strange, but um, when he pulled it out, he said, Mom, look at this. And it was a um alert for a Bible memory app, and it said Isaiah 41 um 10, do not fear the Lord, you know, do not fear for I am with you. And we read that verse out loud, and it was just I thought just pure kindness of the Lord to show up for my kids where they could see God right away in such a scary and life-altering thing that God showed up. He didn't have to do that. You know, he'd have been good either way, but that he did that for us was just really kind.
SPEAKER_01Wow, that's I mean, that's amazing that uh just you know, shows God, like you said, God's kindness. So um what has been how were you able to get through all of that?
SPEAKER_02Well uh uh God, first of all, you can't do I don't know how you do it without him. Um He has been he give the peace that passes all understanding. It is amazing. It's that two you really learn two things can be true. You can be uh so sad and still have joy at the same time. And I mean that's the season we're living in right now that you coexist. Two things h are are true at the same time. It's we miss him every single day. That hasn't lightened at all. That is still just as strong as it was on the first day. And we are still joyful and our my kids are laughing and we're having fun and we see the goodness of God. And so uh I mean him being there and showing up has been great. But another just kind thing the Lord has done for us is put us at unity. And he did that way prior to this. Um we came to unity after well we Roger had lived in Greenville. I had done I'd done my first year of undergrad here and my master's here. Roger had done undergrad grad school and medical school in Greenville. He bleeds purple, he loved ECU, right? But then he went to residency in Concord and then joined the military. And so we were stationed in Wyoming for four years. And uh during that time, the church we joined in Wyoming, our pastor preached, just opened the Bible and preached out in the next set of verses every week. I had not experienced that. I'd been in church my whole life, but every preacher I had had had been topical and we learned about a new topic, and of course it was Bible-based, and they went to the Bible for all of that, and it was good. But that was the first time I'd been in that kind of preaching. And and teaching really, he taught us to do it, you know. And so when we moved back, Roger got out of the military and took a job in Greenville. We were looking for a church. I had learned by then that that was called expository teaching, and I knew that's what I was interested in if Greenville had it. So we looked around and um Unity had it, and Jeff was doing it so well that that's really what that and then Elliot was in a phase of screaming her head off when you dropped her off at nursery, and Charlene and Ricky and Caroline acted like they loved her when she walked in. So wonderful teaching and then wonderful people loving my kids, it was an easy decision to stay at Unity. But also the kindest gift to put us here because the people have shown up so big for us since uh Roger passed away. They have been so, so good to us. And it's been two and a half years and they are still uh showing up good to us. I don't think Jeff's calling them. Maybe he is, but I don't think so. I don't think he's calling them and saying, Y'all check on Ren. But they are on their own. They are.
SPEAKER_01Do you mind sharing some examples of that?
SPEAKER_02Sure. Um, we get notes still often. Um for instance, Julie Anderson, I don't know anyone more compassionate, but she writ handwrites a note often, slips into my pocketbook or s is or it's in the mail, so kind. She's not the only one. There's plenty of that. Um the people here just talk they loved Roger. Um, and so they talk about Roger. I don't even think they know they're d giving us a gift when they do that. But that's my favorite thing to do is talk about Roger. The thought of him not being talked about or forgotten is so sad. So they just talk about him a lot to us, and I love that. I mean, that is just one of the ways they serve us without even knowing um that they're doing it, and I love that. Um, or just other things like I had a friend a week or two ago call and say, Can I or text and say, Can I take Elliot to the pool on Thursday afternoon? And I was like, Yeah, sure, that would be great. She would love it. And you know, that lady said, Oh, thank you so much. That makes me look like a cool mom. And I was like, I they are so so they show up and help us and then act like I'm helping them, which is absurd, but is so kind. Or um a couple weeks ago, Baker could I could not get him to basketball practice and get the commitment I had at my house done at the same time. And a neighbor who goes to our church, a man offered to take him, and that was super nice. But when I took him out to the when I took Baker out to get in um his car, he said um he was sitting in the passenger seat and Baker has his permit. And so it was he let Baker drive him and acted excited about it, you know. So little things like that are they're above and beyond, and they're they seem little, but they're so nice. Um so yeah, people are just good to us all the time.
SPEAKER_01Well, you mentioned um you enjoy when people talk about Roger. What are some of your um fond memories of Roger that you might want to share? Well, you talking about being in the military, since I have a military background, let's uh what what are some things maybe there?
SPEAKER_02We loved the military. Um so Roger was a doctor in the military and he enjoyed that, but just the life of well, part of it I think was just m moving to Wyoming. You know, we lived out west and it was with raising our family, uh just the four of us, like it felt like we were growing up, and that was um really that was good. And then uh he just loved military life. I think if it was gonna mean he saw less patience as he moved up, and so he walked away when his commitment was done so he could continue to see patience because he loved that work. I even think he felt like it was his ministry, you know, to um serve people in that way. But um, yeah, he was a hard worker, he was fun, he brought the fun to our house. That's why another reason I appreciate people at Unity, they offer to do fun things with my kids, where I feel like that's one of the things we lost when we lost Roger because he was super fun. Um just kind, compassionate. I probably have learned how uh just people showing up and talking about how wonderful Roger is to us has really helped my kids see, you know, how great their dad was and how um yeah, he was just he was just a great guy. We loved him.
SPEAKER_01Well what um what is God you know teaching you now?
SPEAKER_02I think it's I don't know, I think we're in just a time of accept his blessings, accept his kindness. Um there's so many times I feel like I can't show up and we love serving here. You know, we when we joined the church, we jumped right in. Roger was a deacon or we did kid check or we uh ran helped run vacation bible school. Like we were serving, and I just feel like with how busy and how hard life is as a single parent, I we have to say no to a lot of things. And um so learning to just live in this season and be thankful for what we have and um it does it has made me very aware to see his see his goodness, um, which I'm thankful for. So just a season of you know, being patient, being kind with ourselves, knowing we're messing up and that he forgives us and that he is the strength we need to get through it, and just having to rely on him. Um, I feel like that's the season we're in right now.
SPEAKER_01Well, as you look ahead, what gives you hope moving forward?
SPEAKER_02That it I can't mess it up too much. I can't mess up his plan. Like, I don't have to get this right. You know, there's I'm trying and he's helping and the people he's put good people in our lives, and that um I'm hopeful that it all works out. In the end, you know, it's um I know he's I know his word is true. Uh he's proven himself over and over and over, and so I know that this that he's that doesn't change. And so even after even through the hard season, it still is good.
SPEAKER_01Well, you mentioned um you know, you said a lot of kind things about Roger. Um what are what are some things you that people that don't know Roger, I don't know that I knew him. So what what are some things that you would want people to understand about him? Or wish they knew about him.
SPEAKER_02There's so much like it's just so hard to you know describe and and um but he was committed to doing the right thing all the time. Like he worked hard to do not just the right thing, but the best right thing. These are things I want my kids to, you know, that they knew that their daddy came home and was so so fun, but I don't know that they knew how hard he worked, you know, because he came home and he had worked hard and then he came home ready to play, you know, and ready to be. He was such a good dad. Um, but uh he was a hard worker, he was committed to doing his best at everything he researched or read, and um he was so interested in people. He obviously could not come home from work and tell what his patients had, like that and he didn't he never broke that. He never did, but he would come home so excited about his patients. I met a welder who did this today, or this guy who's inventing this, or I learned about a new book, because I had a patient who did this, said this, and then I mean never about their own illness, just like intrigued by people and intrigued by wanting to know a lot. So if you had come in and were talking about sailing, you know, boats on the water, he would be like, I tell I need to get a book on that. I gotta read about this. I want to know more. He's coming back in in three months, and I want to be able to talk about it. You know, he just was a learner. He wanted to know a lot, he wanted to connect with people, and he wanted, um, he found the good in anybody. I feel like he knew people's worth. He knew his own, which was great, but he also knew your worth in the room too, and he valued you.
SPEAKER_01What encourages you most uh when the future seems uncertain or feels uncertain?
SPEAKER_02Um yeah, that the promises God have been true. So far, he has not let me down. I I feel confident that that is going to be true ten years from now, twenty years from now. Um I know that he loves those two kids of mine even more than I do, which is you can't wrap your brain around that. I love them the most, you know, but he loves them even more, and so I know that he is going to take care of them and you know he's working big in their lives. I'm praying for that right now. I have one on a mission trip with the church, and I'm you know praying big things for his life. But um, what encourages me is that he keeps his word. He's got promises that are there for me, and I believe them, and so this all is going to be okay.
SPEAKER_01Well, I appreciate you sharing. Is there anything else that you might want the unity community to know about you or about Roger?
SPEAKER_02Um, I don't think so. I'm just thankful for them. I just, I mean, I guess if I had a moment with the Unity community, it would just be to tell them thank you. They are they're so kind to us, they show up for us. When I am awkward as I often am and don't answer in a way that makes sense to them, probably, or turn down their kind gesture, um, they still show up. And um, so I'm just if I had anything to say to the Unity community, it would just be thank you. They've been so good to us.
SPEAKER_01Well, I appreciate you sharing your heart and your story and um opening up to us in this way. So before we go, I want to pray for you and your family. So, Dear Heavenly Father, I just thank you so much for hearing how you continue to work in our lives of your people, and thank you for your faithfulness through every season of life, even uh through the uh the joyful seasons, the uncertain seasons, the seasons that stretch our faith, the tragedies that we may experience that you do uh you bring these things into our life to show us yourself and give us a deeper understanding of you and how you work. Thank you for your kindness, as Ren mentioned, and thank you for the story that we've heard today and the ways that you continue to guide, strengthen, and subtain your children. We pray for Ren that you would continue to draw her close to you, provide for every need, and remind her daily of your presence and your care. Help us all to trust you more deeply, to walk with you more faithfully, and to find our hope and the promises that you never fail. And in Jesus' name, amen. Well, thank you for being with us today and for sharing your story. And to those listening, thank you so much for taking a moment to be a part of this conversation with Wren. I hope today's episode reminds you that God's faithfulness isn't limited to just one season of life. He walks with us daily and through all seasons. So, with the story God is writing in your life, please go and tell.
SPEAKER_00Thanks so much for listening to the Unity Community Podcast. If today's conversation encouraged you, we'd love for you to take one or more next steps. Join us this Sunday morning for worship at 9 or 10 30. Get connected to a live group andor find a place to serve. You can learn more about Unity and how to get plugged in by visiting the links in the show notes. So until next time, let's grow closer to the Lord as we grow closer one to another.