Godly Sisterhood

What kind of sisters are around you, and more importantly, what kind of sister are you becoming?

In this episode, we explore powerful biblical examples of sisterhood that go beyond friendship, the kind that strengthens your faith, anchors you in truth, and walks with you through every season.

From Ruth’s loyalty to Naomi, to Mary choosing the presence of Jesus over performance, to Elizabeth celebrating Mary without jealousy, God shows us what real sisterhood looks like.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Elizabeth hears Mary's voice. The Bible says that her baby jumps. And so I want to talk about today how to recognize the women that God has put in our lives, whether it's our natural sisters, your cousin Elizabeth is also pregnant, and she's six months pregnant. And Mary, when she hears this, she's excited because Elizabeth had been barren for years. And so she probably knows Elizabeth's struggle. She probably knows the pain and um sadness and you know desperation, all of the things that come with infertility. In fact, go worship the gods you knew before because I don't know what my god is doing. Welcome to Truth Measured Podcast. We are back with another episode, and today I want to talk about sisters. Sister, sister, never knew how I'm a dog. Yeah, all of that. Um, so I'm a sister. I I come from a blended family. So on my dad's side, I am somewhere in the middle in terms of my rank, if you will. Uh, but on my mom's side, I am her oldest daughter. And so I've always felt like the older child. I've never had that middle child syndrome that that people talk about. Um, I've always had the older child's family manager vibes, right? And I think that's in large part because I've always grew up, you know, being and feeling like I'm the older sister, regardless of, you know, the fact that depending on which sibling you talk to, I'm not necessarily the oldest one. Um, and with that role as a big sister or the older sister, um, it comes with a lot of responsibility, right? You know, your um your parent really didn't know what they were doing when they had you. Um so as I've gotten older, I've learned to have a lot of grace with my mom. Um, because the the way I was parented and the way my sister was parented is like completely different, like she's a completely different person. And I understand it now. Um, now that I'm older and I have my own kids, but you know, with me, it was like you was you was strict, you do da-da-da-da-da-da. With my sister, you know, it's like whatever, you know, whatever goes. And I I get it, you know, because she she's probably tired. Um and so you you just have a different experience. And I'm sure my kids, when they get older, will tell me about how they had a different experience. My daughter, you know, and and my son will be like, we didn't have the same mom. I'm sure of that. Um, but the point is is is you know, you have these relationships with siblings, and a lot of the stereotypes of you know, being the older sister, being the middle sister, or being the younger sister, those stereotypes that come with those roles, there's a lot of truth in it, right? There's a lot of truth in that baby sibling syndrome, uh if we can call it that. Um, because my my little sister very much gives younger sister vibes. Um, no shade, but it is what it is. And so uh I was thinking about how, you know, as as a sister, we have so many different sister relationships that um, you know, extend from both our biological or natural relationships as a sibling, a sister, but then also our friendships, right? And these God-given relationships um that we have with other women. And I I like to call my um friends god sisters because for many of those relationships, they really are God relationships. You know, these are women who I've met along the way and in different seasons. And I honestly believe that um God has put them in my life and in my path for that season for a specific reason, um, you know, during whatever period I'm in in my life. And it it comes at no surprise that God would bring these women into my life who would nurture me, who would um hold my hands up in a lot of ways, who would pray with me, who would, you know, just be like with be with me in the trenches, my sister girls, as you would call them. Um, because God never intended for us to do life alone. You know, he never intended for us to um be out, you know, on these islands by ourselves, even if um sometimes we we have a natural tendency to sort of do that. Um, I know with me, you know, because I've always been the older sister, I've always been the strong one. Um, it's very difficult for me to ask people for help. It's very difficult for me to go to people and say, I need help with this, or you know, I even asking for prayer sometimes. I get um in in my feelings where I'm just like, I don't want to be that friend that's needy. Like, you know, I need I need you to pray for me this week, and oh I'm going through this now. Please pray for me for this and pray for me for that. Like it just there's something weird uh about that for me, because of who I am, because of how I see myself, and even because of how other people see me. You know, who we are and how we think of ourselves is shaped by not only uh the the things that we are telling ourselves, but it's also how other people see us. You know, if other people see you as being the strong one, um, you want to live up to that reputation, right? You want to live up to that expectation. And so oftentimes we as women we don't ask for help because one, it's like, who can I ask for help? You know, I don't think there's ever been an instance where I have gone to my younger sisters, and I I so I grew up with my baby sister, and then I also have stepsisters, but we don't we don't refer to each other as stepsisters like them as we sisters. Um, what is a stepsister anyway? Uh so I don't I don't think there's ever been a situation where I've gone to my younger sisters and asked for help. I it just I wouldn't even know how to do that. I wouldn't even know how to form my lips to ask for help. Um, because that's just not been the nature of our relationship. Like, you come to me for help. I'm the one that helps you. If you need something, I'm here for you. And so, and that's not to say that if I ever needed them for something, that they wouldn't be there, but there's just no expectation from from me, at least, that I would ever go to them and ask for help. And that, you know, that could be right or wrong. And, you know, my therapists could probably tell me a hundred things wrong with that, but that's just what it is. And I'm sure that's true for a lot of women and a lot of big sisters as well. Like you just see yourself as being the helper, not the person that needs help. Um, and so in that same, in that same vein where, you know, we are are living up to expectations that either we put on ourselves or that other people put on us, um, we often don't like asking for help or we don't like being in positions where we need help. Um, but that's not healthy, right? It's not healthy for you to never ask for help. It's not healthy for you to feel like you have to carry everything by yourself all the time. And God doesn't intend for us to go through life like that. And so I want to talk about today how to recognize the the women that God has put in our lives, whether it's our natural sisters or women that that are like God's sisters, God sent sisters, um who have been placed in our lives to help us, because there's this this natural tendency to want to do everything by ourselves. But because that's not healthy, because that's not um a healthy response to how we do life, if we don't ask for help, if we never stop and recognize that you know what, I need my village, I need my sisters around me, all that's gonna do is lead to burnout, it leads to isolation, it leads to depression, it leads to anxiety, it leads to um health issues because we're carrying all of those things in our bodies. And so it's it's just not healthy. It's not healthy, it's not um, it doesn't benefit us, it doesn't serve us to isolate ourselves um in times of need, and it doesn't help us to um fail to recognize who we have in our life. You know, it's important that we recognize the women that God put in our life so that we know how to value them, so that we know how to nurture those relationships, so we know how to put in the time and effort uh it takes to you know nurture and foster um healthy relationships with our sisters. You know, it it means it does you no good if God has sent women into your life and you don't know how to recognize who they are and their place in your life, and so you mishandle them or you mistreat them or you fail to um to nurture the relationship and then you're like, see God, I told you I'm by myself. No, I sent you some some people to help, but you you mishandled them, you discarded them, uh, you didn't, you know, properly identify who they were in your life, and so you did that. Don't don't blame me. Uh so I wanna I kind of want to look at it within the framework of uh three different relationships that we see in the Bible, um, starting with Naomi and Ruth. So many people might be familiar with this story even more so now because it was just that movie um uh Boaz that came out, and so a lot of people are familiar with um Naomi and Ruth, and so for those who aren't, just to give you a little background, um Naomi she had two sons. Um, she was married, and so her sons uh married uh women, and one of those women was Ruth. Now, Ruth uh comes from the Moabites. The Moabites um was a clan or tribe, whatever, uh, and they are descendants from uh no from Lot excuse me, from Lot after the flood. Lot's daughters remember he gets they get him drunk, and then they have a child. The oldest daughter has a son whom she names Moabite Moab, and that's where you get the Moabites. All these items, okay. So Moab has the Moabites, and Ruth is a descendant of that, and so the Moabites they um they were into idol worship, right? And so um, but but Ruth um married into the family of Naomi and they were Israelites, and so Ruth out of marriage, you can imagine that she was introduced to Yahweh, to God, um, through that relationship. And so, fast forward, you see that Naomi, uh her husband dies, and her two sons die. And so she tells Ruth and Orpha, um, I believe, yeah, that's her name, Orpha. She tells them to basically go ahead and go back to their family, uh, because these are her daughters-in-law. And so she tells them to go back to their family and um to go back to their gods because again, they um are from the Moabites, and so they don't worship, they didn't worship Yahweh, or they didn't worship only Him, they had other gods, and so Naomi Um, when she lost her husband and her sons, you know, she as you can imagine, became very bitter. Um, you know, she felt like God was afflicting her, she felt like God had um dealt harshly with her, and so she's telling Ruth and Orpha, and that is yes, Orpha. Where I think that's where Oprah got her name, but I think she said her mom spelled it wrong. I'm pretty sure that's what she said. I know I didn't make that up. Anyway, um, yeah, so she tells Orpha. I'm laughing because y'all be never mind, we're not gonna go there. Yes, so she tells Orfa, um, go back to your family and your gods in Ruth chapter one. Orpha, O-R-P-A-H, not not to be confused with Oprah. But I again, I'm pretty sure Oprah said that's where her mom got her name from. Anyway, so Naomi tells Orpha and uh Orpha and Ruth to go back to their gods and to their family, and Orpha, after some convincing, because initially she said no, um, but Ruth was like, No, I'm going to stay with you. And Ruth says to her, um, where you go, I will go, and your God will be my God. And so Ruth is specifically um making a dedication that look, I know I come from this family that is into pagan worship, but Naomi, I'm with you. I'm not going anywhere. I know you you've lost everything. You feel that God has abandoned you or is um dealing with you harshly or that you're, you know, under some kind of judgment. I don't care. I'm with you. I will go with you where you go, I will go, and your God will be my God. So she has made this commitment to Naomi, even though she had every right to leave at that point because her husband was dead. And now, you know, Naomi tells her, Look, I'm not gonna have any more children. I'm you know, I'm an old woman now. There's no there's no need for you to stay with me, you know. Um, in all, you know, for all practical purposes, you could say, you know, the relationship is over. My my son is dead, your husband, and so go find somebody else. You're young, you can remarry, and Ruth is like, no, I'm with you, and your God is gonna be my God. And then later we see that Ruth becomes the great-grandmother of David, and you know, her her lineage is completely changed. The traject trajectory of her lineage is changed after she makes this commitment to Naomi. And so, as I was looking at this relationship, I thought, you know, how many times do we, as women, when we are going through situations, we're going through challenges, we we get in this place where we want to tell everybody, just leave me alone, just go. I, you know, we change our number. If you've never done that, I have I have changed this number that I have right now, it's probably been the longest I've had. I think I've had it for about seven, six or seven years. But I'm one of them people, I'll change my number. I done deleted Instagram, Facebook, you know, turned off the comments. Um I just want to be left alone. I've been in those spaces where I'm just like, I'm going through something, you can't help me, I don't even know what's going on, I don't understand this, and so leave me alone. And I I know that I'm not the only person that that wants to do that. Like I I felt Naomi in this um when reading about this, like, you know, she's she's almost warning Ruth, like, you know, God is is judging me, He's taking everything from me. You know, I I left full. In one of the passages, she says, I left full and I come came back empty. Um and, you know, she's just she's lost everything. And so she's telling and or warning Ruth, like, look, get away from me. I don't know what God is doing to me, but you probably shouldn't be around. You probably should go somewhere else and you know, go back to your family. In fact, go worship the gods you knew before because I don't know what my God is doing. And Ruth says, Absolutely not. I'm going with you. And so when when I have, when I look back on situations that I've been in, where I've been in that space where I want to just tell everybody to get away from me, and I want to tell everybody to just leave me alone and let me let me sulk, let me be in my state of depression, let me be in my woe is me, whatever. Thank God for those sisters that I've had in my life who were not biological sisters, but were were my God-sent sisters who refused to let me go through whatever I was going through alone. Those were the sisters that was like, Did you eat today? What are you doing right now? Have you have you showered today? Where is your husband? Can he take the kids for a little bit so you can go out and do what you need to do? Or how about let me cook for you? Let me do, you know, do you need me to come cook? Like, I live one of my friends is like, I will come cook for you. Let me send somebody to your house that can clean for you. I know a good cleaning lady, like that type of friend. And it's easy for me and has been easy for me to be like, I don't, I don't, I don't need you to cook for me. I'm I'm feeling too needy right now. And you offering these things to me is just like highlighting the fact that I am in a helpless, needy place, and I don't like it. I don't like this feeling. But those sisters would not let me do it alone. They persisted on checking up on me, um, phone calls, whatever the case may be. And you have to, you have to recognize when God is sending those people to you. It's almost like, you know, I'm not gonna let you fall into this sunken place without sending a hand to reach down and help pull you up. Like, how many times, I think about how many times would I have really just stayed in a in a wasteland kind of state if I could, but for the fact that God has sent these sisters to me. And it's important that we we not reject or um you know push back when God is sending those people to us because of our own pride. And that's really what it amounts to is it's the pride of I should be able to do this by myself. I should be able to get through this by myself. And because I can't get through it by myself, I don't really want you here to witness that. I don't want you here to witness me in my state of vulnerability. So just go away. And God is like, no, here is help. Here is someone to help you, here is someone to um, even if they can't help you with like natural resources, just somebody letting you vent, you know, someone um who is wise enough to know when it's it's okay to just be quiet. You know, I remember um during COVID, I had lost, you know, someone so close to me. And I just I just needed to be by I just wanted to be by myself, you know. And I had those sisters that would just send me a text, something simple, just like I love you, you know, God cares, you know, praying for for for peace, and you don't need to respond to this text message, but I love you. That was the most important text message I could have got. I love you, I'm here for you, I'm praying for you. Don't feel obligated to respond. Because oftentimes we, and by we, I mean the people on the other end, you know, when we are trying to be like a Ruth to someone who is going through something, sometimes we can get offended if they don't respond, or you know, you don't hear from them for a while. And sometimes that person just needs you to check up on them, let them know that you're there, and be okay with, you know what, I don't even know what to say to you right now. I don't know how to respond to you right now. Thank you for being there, but I don't know what to say. I'm still trying to get through all of the emotions of this major loss. I don't have words right now. I have no words, but you're here, and so I can imagine that that there were times where Ruth just sat with Naomi. Like, you know, she's literally lost everything, a spouse and children. Like that's a major loss. And I can imagine that there were times where she just needed somebody to sit with her, you know, and again, if if you're always the person that's helping, you're always the person that's fixing or being there for other people. It's hard to be comfortable in that moment and just let somebody sit with you, just let somebody lay with you. That is that is very difficult to do because it it calls to question, again, sort of that pride, you know, that part of you that feels like you always have to be the strong one. And so I'm I'm thankful for those women who were there with me, who were who would just sit with me or just let me know they were there in those seasons, and it and didn't require me to give anything back because I didn't have anything to give. And so I want to encourage you to like, if if you are in a season where you're going through things and you're prone to push people out, if if there are people that are being persistent and trying to um be there for you or offering you know their help to you, don't be too prideful to push them away. Don't be too prideful to um to ignore or miss out on the people that God could be sending with you to stick with you during those seasons. Um, Proverbs 17 says that a friend is a friend loves at all times and is born as is a brother for adversity. You know, and so this this speaks to the fact that, you know, true friends, God-given friends, they're born for adversity. They can handle the adversity. If they are if God has sent them into your life, they can handle seeing you vulnerable, they can handle seeing you weak and seeing you at your uh maybe not at your best. And so those people, it's important that we appreciate and and recognize the help that God is sending us. Um, if if they are the people that you you tell them something or they see you vulnerable or weak, and then they use it against you later, okay, you're you're not who saw who Proverbs is talking about. You're not the friend born for adversity, because if you see me weak and your first thought is to get on the phone and be like, Yeah, girl, you know, thought she had it all together, but she don't, you know, or these the people that you really gotta be careful of. Um, you know, this is confidential, but I want you to pray for um such and such because they going through such and such, and then they just tell all your business. Like, and put putting confidential and putting prayer in the sentence doesn't make it any more okay for you to tell all my business. Um, so them them is not your, those aren't the people that are born for adversity that Proverbs is talking about. The people that will that will sit there and listen and will hold your secrets and confidence and take it to God in prayer. Those are the women that that you want to to welcome in when you're going through tough seasons and you're going through life's challenges. Um, you know, another um another example of of the women that that God has brought into my life are those women that have have really taught me how to slow down, you know, because I am a very type A, I'm your typical type A person. So I'm gonna go, go, go. I have plans, I have everything laid out, um, you know, I have lists, I have tasks, I have calendars, all of those things to help me keep my life and the life of my family together. And this is why I said at the beginning of this that I'm the family manager. Um, I actually welcome that role. You know, I'm not only managing my household, but I manage, you know, my family, my immediate family at large, because I'm the oldest daughter, my mom's oldest daughter, the oldest niece, the oldest granddaughter. You know, heavy is the crown, okay, but she wears it well. And so though that that type of person, that type of woman that's always going, sometimes we have the tendency to look at other women or the women around us who aren't doing, and we look at them and we're like, what are you doing? What are you doing? Are you, you know, help me do something, you know, get yourself together, um, wash a dish, clean this, do that. I don't know, something, whatever it is, do something, you know, and so we have this sort of arrogance that, you know, because we have everything together, so we think we look at the women who aren't as busy, aren't as um put together as we think they should be. We kind of, you know, look at them with the side eye. We kind of give them the the side eye. But there are certain times when it's necessary to rest, it's necessary to stop, it's necessary to let the the laundry pile up. It's okay, it's necessary to go to bed and there be dishes in the sink. Like, I feel I feel like such a freelancer, such a go with the flow, flying by the seat of my pants kind of person. If I go to bed and my house is not pristine and put together by the time I go to bed, you know, I'm literally laying in my bed thinking like there are dishes that need to be done, there's laundry that needs to be folded. This is what type B people must feel like. Because I'm I'm still thinking about it, but there's times when God is just like, stop. You need to rest, you need to just not worry about all of those things because the the fact of the matter is, tomorrow you're gonna have more dishes and you're gonna have more laundry and have more cleaning. So when we look at um Martha and Mary in the Bible, so they were sisters, and in uh Matthew is where we see um Martha and Mary. So Martha doesn't say whether she's the oldest or not. Um, I imagine she's the oldest because she's the one that's doing, right? So she invites Jesus into their home, and she's she's the one that's doing everything. She's the one that's doing the cooking, the cleaning, you know, doing the serving. And she looks over and she sees Mary sitting at the feet of Jesus, and she's like, Lord, can you tell her to help me, please? Like, help me, please. And I can just in my mind, I could just imagine it very much is giving me and my little sister. I'm doing, doing, doing, and I could just imagine my sister just sitting there, you know, just talking and laughing and you know, whatever. And Martha's over here, like, all this that has to be done, and she goes and sits down. And when she asks Jesus, she says, Lord, tell her to help me. Jesus' response is, Martha, you worried about everything. You worried about a lot. Mary has chosen to do something that is important, and that is to sit at my feet. And so I can imagine that Martha was. Typical response. I'm over here doing everything. She's sitting down, and even Jesus is like, what she's doing is is fine. She's doing, she's doing what what she should be doing, she's doing what you should be doing. And I'm you want me to come sit down at your feet, but I got all these, who's who's gonna eat? Who's gonna fix the food? Who's gonna, you know, make sure that everybody has something to eat? But if you if you think about it, what I believe Jesus is really trying to get Martha to see is that look, sitting at my feet, sitting in my presence, is going to give you the strength, it's gonna give you the grace to do everything that you need to do. It's going to give you the fuel that you need to do all the things that you have to do. And so, how often do we look at women who may be in our circle and we're like, girl, how you got time to sleep? How you got time to rest? Like, I don't understand how you got time to, you know, go to the spa, how you got time to go get your nails done, how you got time to go do these things for that are self-care for you. And in your mind, you're low-key judging. Yes, you're judging. You're judging because you're like looking at maybe comparing and looking at like, you know, they don't seem like they got all everything put together, and I can see why, because you always at the nail salon, or you always getting your hair done, or you always doing this. No, maybe you need to take a lesson and care for yourself. Because if if you're burnt out with always doing, doing, doing, doing, doing, you're not going to be a help to your family. You're not gonna be a help to those people who you feel like you have to be the strong person for. If you never take that time and you never take Mary's posture to sit at the feet of Jesus and to just sit in his presence, where do you get the fuel to go forward? At some point you're gonna burn out. At some point you're gonna be like, you know what, I can't do this no more. And you're right, you can't do it anymore because you don't have enough uh enough built up on the inside of you to keep going. There has to be a point, there has to be a a season, a time where we stop and care for ourselves. And what greater way to to recoup, to re-energize than to sit in the presence of God and to sit at his feet. You know, um, when I was single, I had a lot of time on my hands. More time than I knew I would one day appreciate, you know, and so I had a lot of time on my hands, and I was able to have days where literally I could just be in the presence of God all day. You know, so my the time that I spent with God, it looked very different than when I got married and had kids. And for a very long period of time, I just was like, Lord, I don't have time. Like, you want me to read my Bible? I've got a newborn that's that I'm nursing, and I when they say sleep when she sleep, I'm tired, I'm going to bed. I don't, you know, I don't have time for anything else. And so I carried a lot of condemnation um because it was like, I don't have time. I don't have time. Where am I gonna find time to to sit with with God and just read my Bible all day? Or when will I have time to do this? And what God began to show me is like there are parts of your day where you can invite me in to your day. Like I want to be invited into your regular day. So no, you know, it may not look like you having uninterrupted time to sit and read your Bible, but you can turn on a podcast and listen to a message. You can turn on worship music as you're cleaning, and I can speak to you in those moments. And so what I learned is that you know, sometimes being in God's presence doesn't necessarily mean me being still in the sense of like not moving. I can still be moving, I can still be driving to court, driving, you know, to my office, and in my heart there be a stillness, there be a a um a settling where I'm not feeling anxious, I'm not feeling like I'm having to conquer and and deal with everything else. I can be still in the presence of God, however that might look like, which is very different than when I was single and I I literally had time to just sit on my couch or just you know um lay on on the floor. Like, and that's not to say that we sh that I don't still have those times now. Um, I I feel like I have done a better job of making the time for my devotion and and making time to spend with God. But what I what I have gotten out of is the condemnation of okay, if spending time doesn't look like God, or if if spending time with God doesn't look like this, then it doesn't count. And so I think that sitting at the feet of Jesus doesn't it might look like different things in different seasons, but at the end of the day, the point is that you need to sit at his feet. Um, because like Martha, if all you're doing is worrying about doing this and doing this and doing that, it just leads to anxiety, it leads to um always feeling rushed, always feeling not good enough, always feeling like there's something to do. And if you don't take time to restore and replenish, which comes through God and His grace, his grace is sufficient for us, then that's when you get moody and you start clocking and you start yelling at everybody. Like you see those um those those memes or or posts on Instagram where the the husband is like, you know, show his shows the wife, you know, praising God and listening to gospel music. He's like five minutes ago, she just went off on everybody. Like that happens because we're like so just focused on getting things done, and you come in here, I done just mop this floor and your feet is dirty. Your shoes are why are you walking around with dirty shoes on? And I just mop like you shouldn't have your shoes on in the house anyway. You know what I mean? So that's where that comes from. But you know, I find for me personally, when I've had time to spend with God and I've had time to um to to refuel myself by being in his presence and taking to taking to God all the thing, frustrations of motherhood and wifehood and stuff, I'm a much nicer person. Like I have much more grace, put it that way. I have much more grace for the small things, you know. And it's funny because I've I've I even talked to my kids about grace and now they flip it on me. Like, you know, when um dare when when my kids would do something um and I'm getting ready to correct them, you know, my son will be like, you know, mom, you should have grace right here. And so he's now like, you know, flipping it, flipping it back on me. But I have much more grace to respond um to little things when I've spent time with God. And so I encourage you, you know, for those women in your life that that help you slow down, that help you um that remind you to take time for yourself, don't don't judge them, don't be judgmental, don't look at them like there she go again. Girl, you need to you need to be doing this instead of getting your hair done. No, you need to take some time out and get your hair done, okay? There is nothing. My mom and my grandma both was always like there are two things that you need to be able to do for yourself, and that is to make sure you get keep your hair done and be able to buy your own essentials, okay? Essentials, we know what we talk about. You should just be able to do that for yourself, right? Get your hair done, ma'am. Get your nails done, be able to take care of your little essential things that we need every month. Um, so that's Martha and Mary, and that that relationship, um, for me, because I have those women in my life that will show me how to slow down, and I appreciate them. You know, they they come like there's one friend, she is never hurried. Like, she is never hurried. Um, we will, you know, be meeting up or doing whatever we're going. And I'm, you know, me, I'm that type of person that like wherever I go, I always put in, because I don't like being late. Late, being late is one of my biggest pet peeves. Um, and for the longest time, I had a 15-minute grace period. I'm I've I've laxed a little bit, you know, with help of Holy Spirit, I've laxed on that because I would be like, oh, 15 minutes and I'm gone. Um, and that's you know, you gotta have grace with people. But I'm the type of person that I'm gonna put in in the GPS, okay, I need to arrive by. And and this is a cool thing, guys. You can actually do that on your iPhone in maps. You can put in arrive by, and it'll tell you what time you need to leave in order to get there at that time. That's me. I put in the arrive by time so that I know what time I need to leave and I can structure things around that and get there on time. But I have a friend that I know she never, she probably never even heard of that, and I know she um she don't use it if she has heard of it, because very rarely is she on time. But we'll meet up and you know, she just comes in like, hey, and I'm sitting there like, hey, you know, but she has taught me how to slow down, she teaches me how to just go with the it's not that serious, you know. I'm saying it's not that serious, like, okay, you didn't get to check everything off your list today. That's all right, just just relax, chill, take some time to yourself, sigh, you know, just sigh sometimes. Um, and so the other relationship is the other group of women who are and these women are really, really important. These are the women that will celebrate with you when you are going through life, you know, these are the women that are genuinely happy for you when you're going through life, when you achieve things, when you accomplish things. Um, and so that brings us to uh Mary and Elizabeth. So Mary, mother of Jesus, Elizabeth, mother of John the Baptist. And so they were related cousins, I believe. And um in in the Bible, we hear how uh The angel tells Mary that she's going to be pregnant with Jesus, the Son of God. And so, and the and the angel tells her, Your um your relative, your cousin, Elizabeth, is also pregnant, and she's six months pregnant. And Mary, when she hears this, she's excited because Elizabeth had been barren for years. And so she probably knows Elizabeth's struggle. She probably knows the pain and um sadness and you know, desperation, all of the things that come with infertility. And so when she hears that Elizabeth is pregnant, she runs to Elizabeth. Well, I don't know if she ran, but it says she goes to see her. But I imagine she probably ran because they can have cars. So she runs to Elizabeth, and when Elizabeth hears Mary's voice, the Bible says that her baby jumps within her. And they greet each other and they're excited. And Elizabeth is excited to hear about Mary's news, and Mary is excited to hear about Elizabeth. And so I can just see these women just probably crying with each other, just hugging each other, just happy with each other's news. Like I'm just happy with your good news. I heard about your good news, and I had to come congratulate you. I had to come hug you, I had to come give you a kiss. I had to come tell you how happy I am for you. Those are the women you need in your life. Those are the women who genuinely, genuinely rejoice with you. Not the ones that when they hear about your good news, it's just like, okay, what is okay? If I'm excited and your response is, okay, mm-mm. You is not my Elizabeth. You is not my Elizabeth. If I'm excited, I need you to match my excitement. If I'm like, girl, guess what? You ain't gonna believe what just happened. I need you to be like, girl, what is it? You know, now granted, you gotta give room and space for people's personalities. But you and if you know the person, you know when they're happy for you, and you know when they like, okay, I'm so tired of hearing about you doing this again. What up, what you're doing now? Oh, okay, okay. Mm-mm. That's not your Elizabeth. And it's important to recognize those women. Why? Because those are the people you don't need to be telling what you're doing, you don't need to know about my next step. You'll find out when everybody else finds out on Instagram, okay? You'll find out when I make my Facebook announcement, you'll find out when I'm on TikTok, but I'm not bringing you any early news, like, because I don't trust. I don't trust your motive. I don't trust that you're not behind my back speaking negativity of what I'm doing. I don't know that behind my back you're not speaking doubt or word curses over what I'm doing. So I'm not even going to share my news with you when I if I share my news with you once and I get the vibe that you're just kind of like, eh, you'll never hear it again. You'll never hear the news again until it's breaking news and everybody knows about it. You know, because those type of women are they not only are they not your friend, but in in a lot of cases, sometimes they can they can operate in in jealousy so much so that it's like Jezebel, you know, y'all heard of her. Um, no, you're not going to hear what I'm doing beforehand. I need I need the women in my life that are going to cover what I'm doing. You know, the the excitement that Mary had when the angel told her that Elizabeth was pregnant leads me to believe that, you know, like I said, she probably knew of her struggle. She and she knew what she was going through. And so when she heard the the the news from the angel, it was probably a answer, it was probably not only an answer prayer for Elizabeth, but an answer prayer for Mary, who had probably been praying with her. You know, I don't know this for sure, so don't come in my comments talking about the Bible, don't say that. But this is just what I'm imagining because I've walked through infertility and I've had sisters with me that walked through that with me. We walked through that season together. And her good news and my good news, like we rejoiced with each other. You know, I've had when and I when I was in that season, I had sisters that would, you know, that knew of what I was going through and would send me words of encouragement. Hey girl, you know what? I had a dream about you last night. God, show me your baby. Like, just keep on believing. She's coming. Your baby's coming. Those are the kind of sisters I need. I need the sisters that are believing with me and you're in agreement with me. If I tell you that I'm in agreement for this to happen, don't come telling me, well, you know, but you know, well, you know what the doctors say. Well, you know, I read this online, and you you know what I'm believing God for, and you sending stuff to me in my DMs that's going to bring doubt on what I'm believing. You're not my Elizabeth. Um, if if you know that I am standing on this promise, your your words and encouragement to me should be in agreement with what I'm believing. You know, um, I remember my cousin, my older cousin, she knows who she is. Um when I was believing God for my baby, she she lived in California at the time, and I remember her coming to my house and she was like, and I had a my other the other bedroom. At this time, there there were no kids, so we just had a we had an extra bedroom. And she comes in the extra bedroom and she was like, You believe in God for a baby? I don't see no baby stuff in here. Like, I don't see no baby clothes, I don't see no baby toys, I don't see no baby pictures. It doesn't look like you're believing God for a baby. She was like, if I was believing God for a baby, like I would have so many baby clothes in here, I would have evidence of what I'm believing. And do you know, the next day, your girl was at Target picking out all the girl baby stuff. Because I was like, she's absolutely right. That's the kind of sister I need in my life. That's the kind of cousin I need in my life, that's the kind of friend I need in my life that's going to remind me of what I'm believing. And then when the when the promise comes, when the promotion comes, when the husband comes, when the baby comes, when the new house comes, you are maybe even more excited than me because you were with me when you saw me praying for it. You was with me when I didn't have it, and I was believing God for it, and you was believing God with me as well. So it's really like He answered both of our prayers. That's your Elizabeth, that's your Mary, right? The ones that's, you know, no. I literally had a friend who when I got um, not long after I got engaged, was just like, you know, oh yeah, I'm happy for you, you know, and if it works out, it works out. If it don't, it don't. Not my Elizabeth, not my Elizabeth, ma'am. Like, we speak in life and prosperity and long marriage, like till we die, marriage. Like, you're never getting rid of me marriage. Not, well, if it works out, it works out. If it don't, you can always have a divorce. No, like that's not even in my framework. That's not even what I'm thinking about. And the fact that you're thinking about it and the fact that you speaking it when I'm telling you I'm just engaged, you're not my Elizabeth. So you don't need to know nothing about what's going on in my marriage, period. Like, If we all good over here, you know, me and Brandon could have just gone off on each other the other day, but we all good over here, sis. Don't even worry about it. Like, I my sister, my younger sister, just got married recently, and I told one of the first things I told her was like, you don't get counsel from non-married people. If they're not married, you don't get counsel from them. You, I might even say don't get get counsel from people that are married. Because depending on where they are in their situation, they can be putting negativity on you. Like, that was, you know, my mom was very adamant and clear with me on, you know, you don't need to share everything about your marriage, and especially you're not sharing it with single people. Why? Because you're not walking this road with me right now, and that's not to say that you know, your sisters can't, y'all have to be in the exact same place, but you gotta know who you're dealing with, and you gotta be able to recognize who your Elizabeth is. That's why it's important to take inventory of the women in your life, take inventory of the people in your life who you're in relationship with, because they can they can either push you towards destiny, push you towards purpose, push you towards God, or they can have you doing some stuff that's gonna have your life looking like theirs. And we all know misery loves company, right? So if I'm going through something negative and I'm coming to you for advice, and your advice is let's let's blow things up, I don't need to be listening to you. If you can't come to me with the word and redirect me back to God, I'm really not coming to you for advice. The Bible says, um, talks about getting counsel from getting wise counsel, right? Getting wise counsel, godly counsel. If you can't give me godly, wise counsel, I'm not asking you for advice. If you're not married, I'm not asking you for marriage advice. If you, you know, aren't, if you don't have kids, I'm not asking you for parenting advice. I'm just not. I'm I'm not asking you for that type of advice. Um, and so, you know, there are there are sisters, there are relationships that will give you godly advice, even if they're not necessarily in the same, you know, season as you, they can still give you godly advice. They can still, you know, if you go to them and be like, you know, I'm I'm having an issue with my husband, or you know, I'm mad at him or whatever, and they can point you back and be like, well, you know, don't go to bed. What the Bible says, don't let the sun go down on your wrath. Like, that's that's godly counsel. So go work it out. Go figure out what you need to talk to your husband about, not well, girl, you know, leave him. Not my Elizabeth. You're not my Elizabeth, ma'am. Um, you know, and so when you you look at these three relationships, Naomi, Ruth, um, Mary and Matt, Mary and Martha, and then Mary and Elizabeth, these are the type of women, these are the type of relationships that you want to cultivate, that you want to nurture, right? If you recognize that you have these types of women in your life, don't don't mishandle them. You know, if there's conflict, work it out. If y'all ain't seen each other in six months, call them, check on them. Like, these are the women you need to nurture. Those relationships where, you know, I just talked about where they ain't never happy about what you're doing. They always kind of like, eh, okay, all right, girl. I see ya. Fake, like, no coming that fake, okay. Those relationships, you know, I've learned to put them in their place. They're in a box. I ain't saying I hate you, I ain't saying we ain't friends. I still refer to you as my friend. We still cool. If I see you, we still cordial, you know, all of that. But when it comes to the information I'm sharing, when it comes to advice, it's very limited. I'm either going to my my Ruth sisters, my my Mary, uh, Mary, the one that's sitting at the feet of Jesus, and that can remind me that that's where I need to go when I'm feeling some kind of way or life is really just taking over, or I'm going to Elizabeth. If you ain't in one of them three categories, you're in a box over here. Not saying that we not friends, not saying that seasons might change, I'm leaving space for that. I'm leaving space for seasons to change and me to move you in a different place. But if that relationship fizzes off, I'm okay with that. Because God has already shown me who my people are, who my women are, who my tribe are, who my God sent sisters are. I know who those women are. Those are the relationships I'm going to um pour into. You know, the Bible tells us not to cast our pearls to the swine. I'm not investing in the relationships that I can't come to you advice for, you not happy for me, and you know, you just gonna tell me to, you know, act a fool. You're gonna encourage the side of me that I'm trying to die, let die. I'm not I'm not fooling with with that. My my sister girls, those are the ones that I'm investing in. And I have to do a better job. You know, I've I've made commitments every year at the beginning of the year. I'm like, I'm going to do a better job of of um nurturing those relationships. So, and my intent is there, and it goes both ways, you know, but we have to be intentional about those God-given relationships because God has given them, given those women to us. He's given those people in our lives to walk with us, to hold our arms up, to pray with us, to be there for us so that we don't have to do it alone. You can't complain that I'm doing it all by myself if the people that God has put in your life, you are not acknowledging and you're not um nurturing and embracing and pouring back into them. You know, if if there are women in your life who are being God sent to you, be God sent back to them, you know, um, sow seeds into them of friendship, of kindness, of love, all of those things. Um, so I I encourage you to take inventory of your relationships and find out who your Elizabeth is, find out who your your Ruth is, and call those girls up and settle date. Like whatever you gotta do, move things around, make a date and love on your girls. Till next time.