E7 Brenda

E7 Brenda Franciose!

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:11

Hello. Hi there. Hi, Helen. Sorry, it's a little dark in this room. Let me just turn on the light. Oh, that's okay. There we go. How are you?

SPEAKER_01 0:20

Good. How are you? Good, good. Good. It's so nice to meet you. Thank you so much for agreeing to chat with me. No, no problem.

SPEAKER_00 0:27

Thanks for the change. I just figured it might make sense. Just, you know, our perspectives could be different. And so absolutely, you know, hopefully it's okay.

SPEAKER_01 0:36

It's no bother for me at all. So thank you so much. I really appreciate it. Good, good, good. Yeah, not at all. I'm honestly I'm just glad to talk with anybody, and we haven't met yet, so it's nice to meet you virtually.

SPEAKER_00 0:47

Yes, and of course, I'm Brenda. I'm Rocky's wife. Awesome.

SPEAKER_01 0:50

You know what? Actually, I do think we might have met. I think you used to host the Christmas party, right?

SPEAKER_02 0:55

Oh yes, of course.

SPEAKER_01 0:57

Yes, yes, yes. I think we mu we came one time, but there were probably a thousand people.

SPEAKER_00 1:02

So well, yeah, the the the Christmas parties were great fun, but there was a lot of people, and I always felt like every year it were there were new people I didn't recognize. And it was always an exercise and trying to remember everyone's name.

SPEAKER_01 1:16

Right, right, right. Which then ends up not being as fun.

SPEAKER_00 1:20

No, we always had fun. We really loved doing it. We did it for oh my gosh, 10 or 12 years.

SPEAKER_01 1:25

Wow. That's nice.

SPEAKER_00 1:27

Yeah, it was fun. It was fun.

SPEAKER_01 1:29

That's great. So just to give you a little bit of a background on what this podcast is, it's called Firewives. It came about, so Robbie, my husband, he was listening to a podcast called Getting Salty, I think. And it's about firefighters, I guess. And they had interviewed this woman who was a fire spouse, but her husband died in a fire. And I guess the story was just so great. He really loved hearing her talk. So he said, Hey, you should do that and interview other firewives. And initially I was kind of resistant a little bit because I'm like, I don't. Like, I don't, I'm barely even on social media. Like, that's just not really me. He's like, but it's not about you, it's about the other people you'd be interviewing. And like, you know what? Good point. That's true. So kind of brought this about. I really appreciate meeting with you. I'm gonna start by having you introduce yourself.

unknown 2:14

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 2:14

Um, so my name is Brenda Francios. I live here in Natick. My husband is a retired fire captain, Natick Fire Department. He's been, well, we've both actually been retired now about almost eight years, so it's been a little while. And Rocky is a lifelong Natick resident. He's lived here in the same, we joke how he's lived in the same one mile radius his whole life. I came to live here when I married Rocky um 30 years ago.

SPEAKER_01 2:47

So Wow, 30 years, that's a long time.

SPEAKER_00 2:50

Yep, it's our hometown now.

SPEAKER_01 2:52

That's great. And what about you? You said you're retired. What are you retired from?

SPEAKER_00 2:57

So I was uh the VP of Human Resources for a private equity firm in Boston. So I ran their human resources for the whole company. We had offices in Boston, California, London, right around the time that I was retiring, we opened an office in Luxembourg. So I didn't have a whole lot to do with that. It's a very small office. But yeah, so I did that for oh 12, 11, 12 years.

SPEAKER_01 3:25

Wow. That sounds like a very high-level, high stress job.

SPEAKER_00 3:29

I it was, you know, it was higher level and it was very it was stressful. But you know what? It was a great job. It was a great company, very good to their employees. And so it was a great opportunity for me when it arrived. And you know, it it it did well by me, and I I think I did a good job for them.

SPEAKER_01 3:50

I'm sure that you did. Wow. So it sounds like you liked it.

SPEAKER_00 3:53

I did like it. There were times when I didn't like it, like any jobs, and there were some really, really stressful periods with some significant things that you know went on. But you know what? It was great. I learned so much. The people were great. I still have I I still keep in contact with a lot of them. I you know, several of them are my friends. So so yeah, it was a great, it was a great job, it was a great opportunity. I appreciated that they they you know trusted me.

SPEAKER_01 4:20

Wow, that's really nice. It's nice to be able to look back on it in in a positive light, even if there was some stress. And what job doesn't have some stress sometimes? Exactly. Right, exactly. Wow. Now I'm seeing from the photos behind you, it looks like you have kids. Oh, oh yeah.

SPEAKER_00 4:35

Yeah, tell me about them. Two grown kids. Uh they're Rocky stepchildren, my my children, my they're in their forties. Wow. So and we have six grandchildren.

SPEAKER_01 4:47

That's lovely.

SPEAKER_00 4:48

So our oldest grandchild j graduated from high school in June and joined the army, so he's in training right now.

SPEAKER_01 4:56

Wow, amazing.

SPEAKER_00 4:57

Yeah, so and then the others range from 10 to almost 17.

unknown 5:02

Nice.

SPEAKER_00 5:02

Yeah. It goes by fast. How old are yours, if you don't mind my asking? Not at all.

SPEAKER_01 5:06

No, I have a four-year-old who, you know, the the the old saying for going on 40 or whatever. Yes. Yeah. She's got a very big personality. She's super awesome. And we have a five-month-old now.

SPEAKER_00 5:18

Oh wow. So it goes by so fast enjoy every minute.

SPEAKER_01 5:21

That's what I've that's what I've been told. That I always try to remind myself of that expression, you know, the days are long, but the years are short. And even already now, she's four, and we're talking about kindergarten in the fall, and I've just I I don't even know how. I don't know how it's crazy.

SPEAKER_00 5:36

It goes by really fast.

SPEAKER_01 5:37

Yeah, it sure does. Yeah. So now you mentioned that you were a VP at the equity firm. Is that what you've been doing since you met Rocky, or what were you doing at the time when you first got together?

SPEAKER_00 5:48

So when Rocky and I met, I was working in a real estate office. I had been prior to that, I had been in a separate company, had been managing some income property, and I left that and I went to work for a company called Post Road Realty in Weston. And I worked there, it was part-time. It was kind of school hours because Michael and Stephanie, my children, were, I don't know, eight and ten at the time. So it worked out really well. And so I did that for four or five years, and then I got a job at Natick High School in the athletic department and working for the then athletic director, Paul Peters. And I worked there for five years. It was a really fun job. It was a school, again, school year job, school hours, summer was off. So it worked really well. You know, Rocky and I were married by then, and he was on the fire department, so gave us a lot of flexibility to do some other things on his days off if he wasn't doing his other job. So um, so I did that. And then after about well, when Stephanie was at the high school and she was a junior, I that's when I I didn't move out of that job because of that. But another opportunity came along. I, you know, the kids were older, Mike was in college. It was like I don't need to work school year anymore. I can kick that up a notch, so to speak. And then it that was my sort of slow progression into human resources. So I I got a company uh job at a company called Watson Wyatt, which is a consulting firm, and met some great people there, was a supervisor, and they spun off into another company. It's a sort of a just sort of a something like that, where they, you know, you just keep move taking the next step and you move up and you get more responsibility. And along the way, met great people who trusted me and encouraged me and you know, gave me a lot of confidence. And so I moved there, worked there for maybe six or seven years, and that's when I got my job at the private equity firm in Boston. And it, you know, the rest, as they say, is history. It was a big step for me, and it it it paid off, so to speak. You know, I I think I did really well and I really loved it there. And, you know, there were days I didn't, as we said, you know, there were days I'd come home and I'd say, Oh my god, I don't know if I can do this anymore. But you get through it and you move on, and I'm really glad I did, you know, because it in hindsight, it it just get, you know, it it changed, it changed our lives in a lot of ways. And so it was it, but it was also a great experience, and I met some really great people, and that's the best part. It's kind of like the fire department.

SPEAKER_01 8:30

Yeah. I was just gonna ask, so Rocky was already a firefighter when you met?

SPEAKER_00 8:35

Yes, when I met Rocky, he was a lieutenant, his he was just sitting for the captain's exam.

SPEAKER_02 8:42

Wow.

SPEAKER_00 8:42

So uh by the time we got married, he was a captain. So and then he he was on a shift. He started when I met him, he was at station four, the old station four.

SPEAKER_01 8:52

Okay, I don't think I ever saw that one.

SPEAKER_00 8:54

Station four. Uh-huh. And he was there for a few years, then he was downtown for a couple years, and then he took the the uh fire uh I think what do they call it? Fire safety. I don't know what they call it now, but I we call it fire inspection or the fire, you know, where he's going out doing all the inspections.

SPEAKER_02 9:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 9:12

It was a fun time because that was back when they were doing the mall. Okay. He spent a lot of time at the mall working with Maurice Pollette, who sadly passed away not too long ago. And he did that, and he was doing that right up until he retired. So I'd say the last 10 or 15 years maybe of his fire department career, he was in the in what we called the office working in you know, fire safety and inspection and spent a lot of time at the mall. He he had a uh in more than one version of the mall, right?

SPEAKER_01 9:47

Yeah, it's a very different mall now than it was a long time ago. That's right.

SPEAKER_00 9:51

For sure. So and you know, a different perspective for him, but he, you know, he was like, I you know, I want to be home more. It was a as you you as you probably know that the office roles in the fire department. For him, it was a Monday through Thursday role. And you know, he would go in at seven and he'd be home at five or something like that. So it was a much more normal working hours. And you know, he had done I'm not sure what if is Rob on a regular shift.

SPEAKER_01 10:20

Yeah, he yes, he is. He's a lieutenant now. Okay, yeah, and he sat for the captain's exam. But as as as you know, obviously the spots are limited right now, so I'm not sure that this is gonna be the round for him, but you know, he'll take it he'll take it every two years. He's young. I keep telling him, you know, you've got so much time to keep doing that. So he'll keep trying to get it. For sure.

SPEAKER_00 10:39

Yeah, we just felt like you know, he had been on a shift long enough and he was ready to have more regular hours and you know, be home at night when I'm home. Because, you know, now I'm working in a job that's really long hours, so that we there would be days where if he was on a 24, well, it started out, I'm I'm not sure when Rob got on, but it started out, it was you worked two days and two nights.

SPEAKER_01 11:04

Yes, you know, I was speaking to Karen Forence last and she told me the same thing. Tommy was working, so it was two days on, two nights on, but they weren't a full 24-hour shift.

SPEAKER_00 11:16

Correct. They're 12-hour shifts.

SPEAKER_01 11:18

12-hour shifts. Now they're they're full 24. So he gets there at 8 a.m. and he leaves at 8 a.m. the next day and it's rotating.

SPEAKER_00 11:25

Yes, yes. So then they went to 24-hour shifts. So it was just it was sort of a lifestyle change, I guess if you want to put it that way, where it was more like, you know, he wanted to be home at night with the family and the in the kids before they went off to college and all of that, and be off on the weekends when I was off because I would leave for work at 6 30 in the morning and not get home till 6 30 at night. So he, you know, if he was working on a shift, there would be a couple days in a row where we wouldn't even, you know, see each other when see the kids. So Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 11:56

We just had that. Robbie was away for a 36-hour shift, and then because he took overtime, and then he went straight to class, so I didn't actually see him for 48 hours pretty much.

SPEAKER_00 12:06

So that's not and that's even harder when the children are as young as yours. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 12:10

And it's not yeah, it's not unusual for something like that to happen, you know, it's just part of the life.

SPEAKER_00 12:16

Exactly, exactly. So and I think he was really glad that he made that change. It worked well for him. He liked being in the office, he liked being out and meeting the people at the mall and doing the inspections, and not just the mall, but other buildings as well, and homes and all of that. So he really enjoyed that. And as I said, he did that right up until he retired.

SPEAKER_01 12:38

That's great. It's a good way to end the career, although I'm sure it was tough to decide that. What made him finally decide?

SPEAKER_00 12:46

I think he was, you know, he had been on at that point for, I don't know, let's almost 20 years, and I think, you know, he he's is it was you know, okay, I've done it, I enjoyed it, but I'm ready now. You know, I'm ready, my body's ready. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 13:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 13:03

It's a hard job. It is a hard job. That's right. And it's a hard job when you're work even when it was 12, you know, 212s and 212s, days and nights, it was a lot. But you know, working a 24-hour shift is a lot. And then much like what Rob is doing, was just doing as you said, and then you get an overtime shift, and you know, they have different rules for when you can take those. But it's just it it can be really hard. Absolutely. Really hard on the family, really hard on the body, all that kind of stuff.

SPEAKER_01 13:33

That's right. Now you mentioned Rocky has another job or had. Is he fully retired now or still doing his own?

SPEAKER_00 13:38

He's fully retired now. Early on, he hung wallpaper on the side. So he would, you know, do his shifts and then he'd go out and hang wallpaper wherever. And and yeah, and then, you know, I don't know, it was maybe five or six years after we got married. It was like, you know, you don't have to do that anymore if you don't want to. And I think he was glad, you know, it's because it was a lot. So, but yeah, that's what he did.

SPEAKER_01 14:01

I will say though, I hear wallpaper's coming back. So maybe it's the wrong time to get out of the business.

SPEAKER_00 14:08

That's okay. He's he so it was a while ago that he stopped. He doesn't miss it at all. Yeah, you know, but I can still rope him into doing some stuff at our own house. So that's it's nice.

SPEAKER_01 14:17

I always joke that I married up because I break things and Robbie fixes them for me. So now tell me, one of the kind of themes that I've been chatting with people about is what does it mean to you to be a firewife?

SPEAKER_00 14:30

Oh boy. You know, I don't even know how to it's how to explain it. So I come so I come from, so my brother was a firefighter.

SPEAKER_02 14:41

Wow.

SPEAKER_00 14:42

Out in California. So out there they do you do both. You're a firefighter and you're a cop. Oh, really? In the in the county, in the counties in which he worked anyway, yes.

SPEAKER_01 14:55

So is it like one shift he's a firefighter, one shift he's a cop, or you're doing both simultaneously?

SPEAKER_00 15:02

No, it's a in I may not have this exactly right, but is it because he is now retired. But as I recall, the way it worked is you I don't know if it was every six months or every year or whatever, the people in charge had the opportunity, had the the right to move you. So maybe you spend six months in the firehouse and then in the next round you six months as a police officer. But I believe as you gain seniority, you could change, right? Interesting. Or you could you could request, sorry. And then as I recall, if you were a firefighter I'm sorry, if you were on duty as a police officer, you carried your fire gear in the truck, in your in your car. So that if there was a fire and they needed extra help, you could be called on.

SPEAKER_01 15:52

Wow, that is very interesting and must be really hard to like put your mindset into the job that you're in that day.

SPEAKER_00 16:01

So in the end, I would say for the for the last part of his career, he was mostly in the firehouse.

SPEAKER_01 16:08

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 16:08

Yeah. So but so for me, it's you know, I like the the family sense of being in the fire department, you know. So when I joined, I didn't know anybody, and then slowly we we we still have very close friends in the fire department. You know, you've I think you're gonna talk to Kathy and Mike Glantini, two of our best friends. Rick and Lori White, you probably know Rick White was the chief. Rick also two of our closest friends, and you may or may not know this, but Rick and Rocky are cousins.

SPEAKER_01 16:45

Oh, I did not know that.

SPEAKER_00 16:46

They are, I think it's actually second cousins, but they're second cousins, and they joined the fire department on the same day and they retired on the same day.

SPEAKER_01 16:54

Wow, that's beautiful. That's amazing.

SPEAKER_00 16:57

And I I think that happened more by accident. Right.

SPEAKER_01 17:01

They probably couldn't have planned it if they tried. Exactly. Exactly. So I know Chief White was the chief, kind of the first real chief when Robbie got on for because he got on right as they were kind of shifting to him.

SPEAKER_00 17:14

Yes, yes, right. So so I would say for for me, it's not about really being that I'm the wife of a firefighter, of course, very proud, very you probably also know Rocky's brother is a retired firefighter. But it's just, you know, being part of that family and the part of the group of people who really want to be there helping other people who, you know, not to be to sound dramatic about it, but who, you know, do literally run into burning buildings to save people, pets, and sometimes even belongings.

SPEAKER_01 17:49

Right. I don't think that's dramatic at all. That's exactly what they do.

SPEAKER_00 17:52

You know, so you know, the it that takes a special person. And I think, you know, the men and women in the Natick fire department are all, you know, very special and hardworking, and they truly care. So being part of that is really important to me, and I think and special to me is what I would say. So I I mean, I'm not sure I've answered your question adequately, but I guess that's you know.

SPEAKER_01 18:18

No, I think you have. I think I mean it's lovely. It's it's really beautiful to be part of that. And even though it doesn't I never really thought of it this way, but in my conversations with some some of the fire spouses, we are contributing, right? We by taking on some of the responsibilities that they can't have while they're working, we're doing some community service as well, which is kind of nice.

SPEAKER_00 18:41

Yes, yeah, I agree. I totally agree. It is a very different, it can be a very different way to live, right? Because you don't if you're you know, you it in a if you're a a quote regular person whose husband has a regular job, right? It's very different.

SPEAKER_01 18:59

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 18:59

And as you said, you know, you have to be ready at the drop of a hat, whether you know, they get hammed for overtime or they get called for overtime, or there's some kind of an emergency, or they just have to work to be able to pick up the slack, so to speak.

SPEAKER_01 19:13

Exactly. And and it's one of those things where I've on the other side of that, I feel super lucky that their schedule is so flexible in some ways. Because, like, for example, tomorrow our daughter's school just had an emergency closure. I guess they're they're having like a burst pipe or something. Oh, geez. And I just was so thankful that Robbie's not on shift tomorrow because I don't have to call out of work, right? Because you expect that that's what you're gonna have to do, but on the other side of it, it's nice that they can be helpful when they're home, which is which is amazing.

SPEAKER_00 19:43

Yeah, for sure. For sure. I agree.

SPEAKER_01 19:46

Now tell me what I like to ask about your favorite part and your least favorite part of being a fire spouse. So, oh my least favorite part. Or maybe the hardest part. It doesn't have to be least favorite, like you didn't like it.

SPEAKER_00 20:03

Well, I think you know, the hardest part would be that if you spend a lot of time talking and thinking about it every day, you're worrying all the time, right? Which I honestly did not do, which probably sounds strange, but you just get into this kind of routine of like, well, he's at work, right? You don't spend a lot of time thinking about the details of what might be happening in that moment or I don't think that's bad at all.

SPEAKER_01 20:29

Everybody has said the same exact thing. I think you have to be able to put it away.

SPEAKER_00 20:34

Right. And then and then my favorite thing is probably the the the people, the just the whole as we already talked about, sort of the whole family kind of fire department family, right? You know that you you know, if if you needed something, someone will come and help you, right? That's just the way it is. Um and I think that one of the reasons why we started the whole party thing was it was a way to for the for the fire, you know, they get so close to the people on their shift, right?

SPEAKER_02 21:09

Right.

SPEAKER_00 21:10

And but there's a whole other group out there and a whole a whole lots of them actually that you don't get to see, especially as a as a spouse, but even when Rocky was in the office, you don't get to see on a regular basis. And this was a chance to have people just come to the house and everybody get together, and we would just it would be packed in here, but it was so much fun. You know, if you came to one, hopefully you had a good time.

SPEAKER_01 21:34

Oh, we had a great time. I don't know why I didn't come to more. It might have been just when when we first got married or something like that, but I remember that.

SPEAKER_00 21:42

It was working, right? Because that was the other thing. We also tried to not schedule the parties on the same shift every year just because there was a whole group who, you know, couldn't come. And some people would take time, would take vacation time, and some so it was that whole family, the whole family fighter. Department family atmosphere that I that I really liked. Um so yeah, and and we missed that, you know, a little bit. It's you know, we had a couple years ago, we two or three years ago, four years ago, I think it was right after COVID, we had another little party, right? We invited a fair amount of people. It wasn't the entire fire department, I don't think, because we didn't know everybody. It was more recent retirees, people, you know, coming and it was fun, you know, it was fun, but we knew even fewer people than before.

SPEAKER_01 22:31

Right.

SPEAKER_00 22:31

Yeah, of course. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 22:33

Nay, they change. I mean, the every time I go visit Robbie at the firehouse, it's it's somebody new and somebody I haven't met, which is weird because he's been on for I think 12, 13 years.

SPEAKER_00 22:44

But it's like a revolving door. Yeah. You know, when we started, we joke sometimes. When I when Rocky when I married Rocky, we were like the new kids on the block. And then when he retired, we were the old kids on the block.

SPEAKER_01 22:59

But how beautiful is that? You start to finish, you know? How amazing is that?

SPEAKER_00 23:03

Yeah. That's yeah, it was it's yeah, it was a good run. It was fun.

SPEAKER_01 23:06

It was really fun. I remember somebody, one of the firefighter wives said to me when she first it was right after we got married. She said she almost watched us grow up because she met me and us because we already knew each other when he got on native. Yep. You know, we were young, and and we're still young, but you know, we've changed and got married and had kids. And she's like, I've watched you grow up. You were a baby, and now you're a grown-up. I'm like, that's true. It's sweet.

SPEAKER_00 23:30

And that's really true. It is true. Yeah, it really is true. I mean, we uh Rocky, we were there when Gigi, who just retired, was first hired, the first woman on the fire department. Yeah, you know, so fun.

SPEAKER_01 23:43

Yeah. I'm hoping to I'm hoping to talk to her. She agreed, but I just we need to set a date. She's just a little busy with the retirement stuff now, but yeah.

SPEAKER_00 23:51

Oh, she she's a great person to talk to about this stuff.

SPEAKER_01 23:54

And she has a unique position of being a firefighter and a firewife, right? So I'm super interested to hear what she has to say.

SPEAKER_00 24:01

I mean, many. So a firefighter, a firewife, first woman firefighters department, you know, just And she's a veteran. And she's a vet, right?

SPEAKER_01 24:09

Unbelievable. Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 24:10

It's great.

SPEAKER_01 24:11

Great.

unknown 24:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 24:12

So tell me if there's been a way that you can think of how has Rocky being a firefighter impacted your marriage?

SPEAKER_00 24:23

Um, hmm. I would say and not in any kind of negative way, other than the initial just adjusting to the schedules, which of course was new for me, not new for him. Right. Um, adjusting with the schedule, getting the, you know, he we he had in obviously integrated with my two kids, but then the schedule. So it was just getting in the groove of sort of a different way of life, if that makes any sense.

SPEAKER_01 24:52

Of course. Yeah, it does. Yeah, yeah. It can be tough. It can take a toll in a way, but to your point, it's such an honor that you almost kind of make up for it and it's okay in the end. It's just hard.

SPEAKER_00 25:04

Exactly. Exactly. And you know what I can't even say that it was it was hard, it was just an adjustment, right? That you just do. So that's what we did. You know, it was an adjustment when I took the job in, you know, at the private equity firm in Boston and you know, wasn't working because all my other roles were sort of closer to home, and now it's now I'm leaving because it's a you know, the commute to Boston and home.

SPEAKER_02 25:31

Woof, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 25:32

You know. So it was it was kind of like sort of a reverse of him picking up the slack now because I'm in a longer a job with longer roles, and so it'd be like, okay, what am I getting at the grocery store today? And what you know, kind of throwing the laundry in and those kinds of things. So, but you know, it wasn't anything that I I look back on. I there isn't anything that I look back on and say, wow, that was really just a huge adjustment.

SPEAKER_01 25:57

Right. Wow, that's nice. That's good. You were able to make it work pretty easily. We tried. Yeah, it's hard, it's tough, but I'm glad that was it worked well. What do your kids do?

SPEAKER_00 26:07

Okay, so my kids, my daughter is in financial services, insurance and financial services, investments, that kind of thing. She lives in North Carolina and she has four children. Her youngest two are twin girls, so that's fun. But they're all grown up now, but you know, high school. So and then my son is the CFO of a energy company in Connecticut. And so my son majored, I was looking for the word, majored in quantitative economics.

SPEAKER_01 26:38

I don't even know what that means. That sounds very smart.

SPEAKER_00 26:43

That's why it's really hard to explain what he does. Right. But the way the way I explain it is he basically buys and sells energy, is the way I would explain it, right? He it sort of deals, he does that those kinds of deals as a CFO, and his company is owned by a private equity firm, not the one I worked for, totally separate. So yeah, and they live in Connecticut and Fairfield, and they have two children. So everybody's busy, but they were all here for Thanksgiving. So we have everybody here, except for Jack, because he's stationed in Georgia. Right. Um, but everybody else was here. It was crazy four days, but it was lots of fun.

SPEAKER_01 27:20

Wow. And you're no stranger to hosting after those Christmas parties.

SPEAKER_00 27:23

No, no. But I'll tell you what, it's the older you get, the harder it is.

SPEAKER_01 27:27

I'm sure. I'm actually struggl not struggling, that's not the right word, but right now, hosting is I normally love to host, but right now I'm like with two young kids, it's actually really hard.

SPEAKER_00 27:37

It's really hard when you have young kids. You know, it and it's you know, it's a lot of work no matter when you do it. Now we have Rocky's family, his siblings and everything coming this week for sort of our holiday get-together because we're leaving to go to Stephanie's. We're going in North Carolina for Christmas.

SPEAKER_01 27:54

Oh, that's lovely. That's great.

SPEAKER_00 27:56

So we're going down there.

SPEAKER_01 27:57

Now, did I hear correctly that you spend some time in Florida too, or did was am I mistaken?

SPEAKER_00 28:02

Nope, that's true. We have a house in Florida, which we bought a couple years ago. And so we're this year, usually we go down in January after New Year's. This year, though, because we're going to Stephanie's and we drive, we have a dog, so we drive to Steph's. We decided we're just going to keep going. So we'll be in Florida the day after Christmas. So we're going to leave because Steph and the family are going on a trip in between Christmas and New Year's. So we'll have Christmas with them and then we'll leave the day after Christmas, and it's like a seven-hour ride from Stephanie's to the house in Florida. Yeah. Wow. So that's our plan.

SPEAKER_01 28:37

So what are you doing with your time now that you're retired?

SPEAKER_00 28:40

Well, we're trying to play golf. Nice. Rocky's better at it than I am, but we the our house in Florida is on a golf course, and we joined the golf club there. So we're we're spending a lot of time playing golf, and you know, we've just kind of got oh, so I'm also a big Pilates girl. Oh, nice. So I have found my place down there. So I I do that, and the, you know, the the the gym and then the beach is nearby, and it's a great little neighborhood we live in. It's Kathy and Mike also have a house down there in the same neighborhood. So we laugh because they live the same distance from us in Florida as they do here in Natick. You know, they're right down the street from us in Natick.

SPEAKER_01 29:21

Did you guys plan that?

SPEAKER_00 29:23

No, they actually introduced us to the area because Mike's family had a house there and we used it and then rented it for a little bit. And then we, you know, we said to them, hey, you know, we're we really like it down here. And do you mind? Right. Yeah. I mean, we don't want to invade your territory, so to speak, you know. And they were like, no, do whatever you want. So we bought a house. So we bought the house, and yeah, we really like it there. That's great. Yeah. You know, who knows how long you, you know, you can do that kind of commuting, but you know, we're gonna do it as long as we can.

SPEAKER_01 29:58

So yeah, we're happy to do that. Oh, sorry, how long will you spend there, you think? Like, what's a typical Florida trip for you?

SPEAKER_00 30:04

So typical would be so we're going obviously right after Christmas, and we will come back in probably early May.

SPEAKER_01 30:12

Wow, nice. That's great.

SPEAKER_00 30:14

So uh depending, you know, sometimes it gets super hot there and humid early, but so depending, but usually it's early to mid-May.

SPEAKER_01 30:22

Wow, that's so nice. What is that called a snowbird? Is that the term for it?

SPEAKER_00 30:26

Yes, we are snowbirds. Did you ever think you'd be a snowbird? Never. Never, never, no, no. But I also can't ever see myself living there year-round. It's just so hot to be humid into summer. It's just too, it's too much.

SPEAKER_01 30:40

Yeah. I've been to Florida a couple times in the summer and it's yucky. Yeah, it's not fun. Yes, exactly. Like you're just spending all your energy just trying to breathe. Right, exactly. That's exactly right. Yeah, exactly. Now, I don't think I asked you, how did you and Rocky meet?

SPEAKER_00 30:56

Rocky and I met on a blind date.

SPEAKER_01 30:59

No kidding.

SPEAKER_00 31:00

Yeah, we did. So years ago, there was a woman that we both knew. So in his wallpaper and gig, he a lot of his jobs came through decorators. And there was a decorator he knew, who I also happen to know because our daughters went to school together. And she was we were friendly acquaintances. We weren't like super close or best friends or anything. And we were at back to school night, and she said, Brenda, this is guy, I you know, this guy, I think he'd really like him. Can I give him your number? I'm like, absolutely not.

SPEAKER_01 31:38

No, thank you.

SPEAKER_00 31:39

No, I don't do blind dates. You can just forget that. Cross it right off your list. And then of course, meanwhile later on, I find out he was having similar conversations with her. And she was just relentless. I mean, every time I saw her, she would be like, Ben, you know, and I'd be like, No. And then I don't know, one day I just got so like sick of it. I was like, sure, yeah, fine, fine, I give. I caught cried, Uncle. Right. And she gave him my number, and you know, I forgot about it. And because like two months went by. And then one, you'll appreciate this because you have young kids, but Michael and Stephanie weren't as young as yours, but they were, you know, elementary school, you know, and it was like six o'clock, which is the worst time of night you can ever call anybody. Right. And you'll laugh. It was back in the days when the telephones actually hung on the wall and they had a really long cord. And so the phone rings and I pick it up and I'm like, because I'm totally harried, and I'm like, hello. And this guy on the other end says, Hi, this is Rocky Franchos. And as soon as I was like, Oh god. What did I get myself into? Yeah. And so funny part is, you know, it he that he called in October, but our first date wasn't till December because he was studying for the captain's exam. Oh wow. And then I was a single parent at the time, and I was juggling the kids' schedule with their dad, and you know, I didn't I didn't date if I had the kids. It just was my thing, you know. I wasn't doing that, right? So it was like, well, no, I can't do this weekend. Well, I can't do that weekend because I'm working. Well, no, I can't. And so we ended up, I think it was, I I know exactly it was, it was December 3rd, 1993.

SPEAKER_01 33:32

Wow, today's December 4th.

SPEAKER_00 33:34

I know. Wow. Yep. So we went out, and the rest, as they say, is history because we had the first date, and the week later we had the second date, and it just kind of went on like that. Wow. You know, and it was supposed to be neither one of us was interested in any kind of serious relationship, neither, you know, just nice to have someone to have dinner with was what it was. And well, here we are. It's been 30 years.

SPEAKER_01 34:01

Here you are, snowbirds together. Yes, it's I love that. That's great. That's a nice story. I feel I feel like you don't hear about blind dates so much anymore.

SPEAKER_00 34:12

No, and you know, it was my first and only blind date. Right. So that's right.

SPEAKER_01 34:17

I have so many friends that I I wanted to set up on blind dates, and I really think they all would have gotten married, but not a single one of them agreed.

SPEAKER_00 34:28

Like you're lost. You know why you don't really I guess technically you do have blind dates a lot because you go with the match and all these websites. You know, that's kind of the same thing, except you're getting all your information from a database. Right.

SPEAKER_01 34:42

I feel like real blind dates are a little less sketchy. Yeah, less sketchy.

SPEAKER_00 34:47

Yes. Well, you know, the other funny part about it is we had this blind date, and and this is something that I think most people wouldn't do now. I've never met him before, and I let him come to my house and pick me up. Really?

SPEAKER_01 34:58

What does that think? I don't know. I was gonna say. Um but times were different. It just wasn't, it wasn't nothing was as scary or creepy, I feel like.

SPEAKER_00 35:08

Yeah, but you know, that there was also sort of a weird connection we discovered afterwards, and that a couple things, and probably going way off on a tangent. No, no, I love it. I love it. That that I was I had a really close friend, and I was talking to her one day about going on this blind date, and she was not happy. And she's like, I don't understand what do you even know about this man? And I said, Well, I know he lives in Natick, he's a firefighter, he hangs wallpaper on the side, and she says, Is his name Rocky Franchise? I'm like, Yeah. So it turned out she had a best friend that I knew of but had never met who was married to Rocky's cousin.

SPEAKER_01 35:53

Wow.

SPEAKER_00 35:54

And that woman actually also became a very close friend. So it was yeah, it was a it was a funny story. And then we had also discovered in our conversations as part of his wallpapering gig, I had lived in a particular house in Weston and moved to a different one, and he had gone in and wallpapered that house after we moved out. Wow. To the growers, it's just weird stuff, you know? Yeah, so it's funny.

SPEAKER_01 36:19

I always say it's a small world that you just don't you don't think you're gonna have these connections with people, but if you dig, you you'll find them.

SPEAKER_00 36:27

Exactly, exactly. Yeah, so that's our little story.

SPEAKER_01 36:30

Wow, that's a very nice story. Thank you for sharing it. No problem. That's great. Any funny stories, any any tidbits you want to share?

SPEAKER_00 36:39

Oh boy, the funniest story I don't think we can put in a podcast.

SPEAKER_01 36:43

You'd be surprised, it's a podcast, it's not a PG show.

SPEAKER_00 36:48

Well, the funniest is it I obviously wasn't there, but they had a call at a house on Route 9, and it would there was like heavy smoke in the basement. And as smoke began to clear, let's just say it as the smoke began to clear, there was a lot of equipment in paraphernalia that apparently the husband and the wife enjoyed together.

SPEAKER_01 37:15

Oh, they talked about that for a long time. I can only imagine the jokes that came out of that.

SPEAKER_00 37:23

Oh, can you isn't it true? Oh my goodness. Wow. Yeah, that was a funny one.

SPEAKER_01 37:27

Yeah. But did you find it to be a rude awakening, the firefighter sense of humor compared to yours, or were you kind of already equipped for that?

SPEAKER_00 37:37

Not really, because you know, my brother and all of that, but I I will tell you, as I got deeper into human resources, my head's fun once in a while. I know.

SPEAKER_01 37:49

I hear I hear some stories where I'm like, oh, that would not fly well in a pediatric's office. That's where I work. I would not go right exactly.

SPEAKER_00 37:59

Or you do know what I do for a living, right?

SPEAKER_01 38:03

Maybe keep these things to yourself.

unknown 38:04

Yeah, no, that's crazy.

SPEAKER_00 38:06

Nothing terrible, but yeah, as you know, you've heard them, so yeah.

SPEAKER_01 38:09

Yeah, exactly. All right, now one last question that I like to ask everybody. If you I guess kind of a two-pronged question, if you were gonna listen to this podcast, what would you want to hear? Or if you were kind of new coming into the Fire Spouse thing, what would you want to hear? What advice do you have, or anything like that?

SPEAKER_00 38:32

Uh so I think the biggest piece of advice I would give is really lean into the firefighter community. It really helps, you know. Don't be afraid to go to some of these some of the activities that they have and introduce yourself because you're not alone, you know. There's there's men and women of varying age groups that are in the exact same position that you're in. And I think, you know, having that support and just knowing that there are people in the same boat, you know, if you've had a day or 48 hours like you've had on your own with the two kids, you know, you can call a friend and you know, have someone over for coffee to to, you know, help the time go by or whatever it is. But I think do leaning into the community and getting involved in little ways as you can as you can. So for us, it was, you know, we volunteered for different things when they came up, like the you know, helping set up a Christmas party when they were not at our house.

SPEAKER_02 39:29

Right, right, right, right.

SPEAKER_00 39:30

The you know, the children's party, and you know, Rocky would go out and volunteer with the guys when they would do the boot collections, you know. So I would just say to lean into your firefighter, fire department community, because it really helps.

SPEAKER_01 39:44

Yeah, that's really good advice.

SPEAKER_00 39:46

Yeah, it is. Yeah, I uh well, I mean, I think it is. I hope it is.

SPEAKER_01 39:50

It is. Anything else on your mind? Anything you'd want to add?

SPEAKER_00 39:54

I don't think so. I don't think so. You know, I yeah, I think that it was a great experience. I think Rocky, you know, really enjoyed it. I think he was ready when he hit 65. You know, it was time. And, you know, I think that it's I know some of the guys aren't ready, right? At 65, they could do it forever, but I think he was ready, and it's a honorable and I think very rewarding thing to do.

SPEAKER_01 40:24

Absolutely. A hundred percent. I we recently went to a retirement party. I wonder if you were there and we maybe just didn't chat. We have not been to one recently. Oh, okay. So it was it was for Willie. And okay, I totally lied. Yes, we were at Willie. So we we happened to just not chat at the time, but I guess we were at the same party. It was just so nice because Robbie was just telling me Willie was like the the life of the fire department. He just was the he had the best attitude and he was so sad to go. And I just I love my job. I I'm yeah by no means don't do I not like my job, but I would love to have that just passion that he has for the fire department. If only we were all so lucky.

SPEAKER_00 41:11

I think though, I think that for the for the men and women who are actually who are the firefighters, not the spouses of firefighters, it's their second family. Right. And it's so it's it's for Willie, who I only is one of those who would have kept working if he could. Right. Right, it's like leaving behind another family, and it that's really hard to do. So I'm sorry we didn't get a chance to speak in person at Willie's.

SPEAKER_01 41:35

No, honestly, I wasn't even doing this yet. So I I was just kind of like you said, don't be afraid to introduce yourself, but you know, also catching up with people that I kind of knew. But now next time we'll know each other. Yes, we will. Exactly. Yes, we will. Well, I hope I do get a chance to see you in person. Thank you. Same to you. I hope you have a good time in Florida. Thank you, thank you, and happy holidays. Thank you, you too. Thank you for your time. I appreciate it.

SPEAKER_02 41:56

Alrighty, bye.

SPEAKER_01 42:07

Thank you so much for listening. If you have any questions for me or you'd like to be interviewed for the Firewives Podcast, please email me at the firewivespodcast at gmail.com. Tune in next week for more Firewives.