Fire Wives
Join me as I chat with my fellow Fire Wives about what it's like to be married to a Firefighter. Every week, we’ll be talking about the good and the bad of being in the Fire Family, sharing funny stories, and highlighting the spouses that make it all possible.
Fire Wives
E12 Erika
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Erika Relihan!
Hi Erica. Hi. How are you doing? Good. How are you?
SPEAKER_02Good. Thank you for coming today. Oh, thanks for having me. Of course. It's a pleasure to see you. I mean, I know we've seen each other at parties, but we really don't know each other very well.
SPEAKER_00No, not at all.
SPEAKER_02Tell me a little about yourself.
SPEAKER_00Uh well, I Kevin is my husband. I live in actually Western Mass. I grew up in Wilburham. We just recently moved back to Wilburham. And I have four children. I have one on the way. And I am a hairstylist. Oh nice. I work at Ochoa for Hair. And actually, they're like a family-owned couple, like a family-owned salon. So there's actually one that's like out towards South Boston. They have one in Wilburham, one in South Hadley, and one in South E. Nice. Yeah, which is great. So it's like I've come out this way for Kevin's work and actually for my job. That's great. How long have you been a hairstylist? For 14 years this year. Yeah. That's great.
SPEAKER_02And are you enjoying it?
SPEAKER_00Yeah. I actually love it. That's great. What got you started? Well, I feel like my beginning is like, I didn't know what I wanted to do. I really was going to go into nursing. But then I wasn't really feeling that. And I was kind of like hitting an age where I'm like, okay, I got to figure out what I want to do. And my hairdresser for like my hairdresser at the time was like, you should really do hair. You love fashion. You love all this stuff. And I was like, all right, I guess I'll try that. And but if you asked me like when I was younger, oh, are you going to be a hairdresser? I would have said, no. Never would have expected that. No. Oh, funny. So then I was like, okay, I'll try that. And yeah, I went to hair school. And then after that, I went to aesthetic school. So technically I can do hair and I can do facials and all that, but I don't really do that anymore. But I more did it for because I loved makeup. And so that's helped me because I do a lot of brides, weddings, and stuff too on the side. So yeah, I like have worked at Achoa since the beginning for the 14 years. And they've been great because I have so many children that they've been very accommodating to my schedule. Now I'm down to like I only work two days a week because of Kevin's schedule. And hairdressing schedule is a little like unique where you have to kind of work an evening a little bit. And so it's just been great that they have let me kind of create my own schedule to work with my family.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, that's great.
SPEAKER_00Do you have like a busy season? I feel like that used to be kind of like through before COVID, but now it's like kind of, I feel like more all year that it stays like consistent. Besides, if I was to do like weddings, I used to do them a little bit more before I had like the majority of my children because that's a lot of weekends and stuff. So that's hard. And I would rather be with my kids. So I do it to like basically help out. I'll do a few here and there, or if they're like my personal clients, I'll do them. But that tends to be like wedding seasons changed too. That used to be like June, everybody used to get married. And now it's like October, everybody gets married. It's like the fall. Yeah. Which is funny because that's when I got married like 14 years ago, wasn't the fall. And that really wasn't like as popular. Yeah. Cause I remember thinking I went to a place. We got married at the log cabin, which is like in Holyoke, but and it's beautiful because it overlooks like the valley. But I remember walking in there being like, oh, I want a June wedding. And then they're like, Well, we're kind of busy. And then I saw a picture of somebody with like, you know, it had like the fall, you could see the whole valley and see like the fall leaves.
SPEAKER_02Foliage must have been gorgeous.
SPEAKER_00I know. And I was like, oh, I want that.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_00June weddings are also hot. I know.
SPEAKER_02You want to dance and have fun and sweaty and gross. Yeah. That's awesome.
SPEAKER_00So yeah, so she was like, we actually have something available. And I was like, okay, that works for me.
SPEAKER_02That's great. So you got married 14 years ago. How did you and Kevin meet?
SPEAKER_00So we met young. We met at, we both worked at Walgreens together. He was like the cashier. I was a cashier. We were married young. We got married. I was 24, and Kevin is like two and a half years younger than me. So he was 21, turning 22.
SPEAKER_02Wow, that's extra young for a guy.
SPEAKER_00I know.
SPEAKER_02Wow.
SPEAKER_00I know. What made you get married so young? I don't know. He was like crazy, I guess. No, I'm just kidding. He asked me, like we dated for a year, and actually we both came off different relationships. I was going to school out in, I worked at, well, I worked at Walgreens. I went to school out in Chicago for a year. So I left that Walgreens and I was going to art school out there for fashion design. And I was with a guy. I broke up with him and I was kind of like, you know what? I'm over being away from home. So I came back and I worked at the Walgreens, went back to the Walgreens I originally worked at, and Kevin was working there. And we kind of like he started talking to me. I was kind of like, I don't really want to hang out with you. I wasn't like ready yet. He always jokes about that. It's because you said no, that I wanted to like, you know, keep going at it. And I was like, well, I guess it worked out. It worked out in the end. That's great. Yeah. So we dated a year and then he asked me to marry him. And I think like we were just talking about that. His one of his very good friends he was friends with in high school, he passed away right before that. And right before that, he told Kevin, he's like, You have to marry that girl.
SPEAKER_03So that's so sweet. I know.
SPEAKER_00Wow. Did you know him? Yes. His name was like Alex. And actually, he was like in a wheelchair. So he had he went in for like a surgery for that, and it just went kind of like wrong. Yeah. Now it was his best friend.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_00It was like one of his really good friends. That's really hard. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Wow. But something nice came out of it.
SPEAKER_00I know, right?
SPEAKER_02That's great. He encouraged him in the right way.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_02That's good.
SPEAKER_00I guess.
SPEAKER_02So when did he get on the fire department?
SPEAKER_00So he's been on the fire department. So my oldest is 11. So he got on when she was born. So he's been on total like 11 years. I guess technically 12, because he worked on a call department one year before that. Okay. And then before that, he was like going to EMT school. So he worked as like a basic basically for right before he got into the department. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. What's that been like for you? I would say now it's great. It's the only schedule I kind of know. And maybe because we were both so young, it's kind of like you just learn together and we grow, we like grew together. So in the beginning, like before we had kids, it was kind of fine. I feel like when I've had my first daughter is kind of where that struggle is with the scheduling. Even when he was like a basic, he worked a lot of nights. And then he was going to paramedic school at the same time.
SPEAKER_02So it's very demanding.
SPEAKER_00Yes. Yeah. So it's kind of like all of that was happening at once. And then he, and I feel like this always happens with us when it's like everything kind of comes together all at the same time. So when I got pregnant with my first, he literally was like applying to go for his first fire job. Okay. And then like we're literally at the hospital waiting for the phone call to like get the job. While you're having a baby. Yeah. That was that's the start.
SPEAKER_02Wow, off to a strong start.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, right off to a strong start. And my oldest was like in the NICU. And we were just talking to his sister, being like, okay, can you hold the phone out here just in case the fire department calls so we can like accept the job? I was like, oh my God. Wow. Why was she in the NICU? So like I went to full term and my water broke, but like nothing happened. So they had to do like an emergency C section. And I think some she either swallowed the like the melconium or whatever you call it. And so she like had to be in the NICU for seven days.
SPEAKER_02Oh my gosh, that becomes so scary.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. I feel like I was just talking about this too as well. Being like, you know, I feel like it was my first, so I didn't know what to expect. And you're kind of just going through the motions of it. And not until later do you realize, oh, that's like pretty traumatizing. Yeah. Like serious and pretty like, but you're just hoping each day you can go home. And luckily we were able to go home after the seventh day.
unknownWow.
SPEAKER_02Wow. I had a sort of similar experience. I had a C-section, my water broke. We tried. I couldn't even get to the point of pushing, and I ended up in a C-section.
SPEAKER_00I like literally walked into the hospital and I was like, here I am. Yeah. I'm ready to go. Same. Like, no really like labor at all. And they're like, her heart rate plummeted. Same. And we're sending you in. And I was like, oh my God.
SPEAKER_02Wow. And then I remember after being like, wow, they just literally took my insides out. No, literally. It's scary. Yeah. You feel violated in a weird way.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, you kind of do. And it's kind of like you're trying to be, oh, I'm fine. I'm fine.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_00Like the whole time. Yeah. But it wasn't to like a home where it's like, I I was like in tears by the time I got like to nighttime. For sure. And now you're on your fifth one. Yeah. So have you had ulti sections, or did you have so no, like because I feel like that was so traumatic in a weird way, I was like, I don't want that. So I was like, could I try for a V back?
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_00And it worked. That's great.
SPEAKER_02So I've had all vaginal deliveries after. What do you think is a better recovery?
SPEAKER_00I think vaginal, yeah. To be honest. I know people would probably put that to debate, but it's definitely less painful after the recovery is like easier. I was able to like I didn't do an epidural, so like literally right after I could get up and walk around. And it was like nothing. You didn't do an epidural. No, I know because I was so nervous.
SPEAKER_02And did you do that for the two, three, and four?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, no epidural. Once I did it for the first one, which was or my first vaginal, which would be my second child, yeah. That was probably the hardest pregnancy because real or the hardest delivery because it's like your first vaginal birth. And even though that was kind of difficult, like pain-wise, I was still like, oh, I could do that again.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, especially after having had a C-section. Yeah. Yeah. That's crazy.
SPEAKER_00Which is crazy. Yeah. Luckily, like with my C-section, I didn't really I didn't you didn't push.
SPEAKER_02You didn't get there. Same. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00It was kind of just like more the other way around of being like, okay, here you go. And then she's in the NICU. And yeah.
SPEAKER_02And then having her in the NICU, that's so scary, and you were young.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. I was 27 when I had my first. Okay. So yeah.
SPEAKER_02Geez. And how about the rest of them? Were they easier after? Did anybody end up with the NICU?
SPEAKER_00Nope. Nobody did. Yeah. Everybody was fine after. So it was pretty good. Like easy deliveries. Yeah.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_00And you've recovered because you're on number five. I know. I know, which is so unheard of, but I know.
SPEAKER_02It's great, actually. Yeah. So you were just telling me a little bit about the statistics of having a fifth.
SPEAKER_00I know. So like we like kind of chat GPT'd that. Like, oh, what's the statistic of having even just five babies in general? And that's like three percent. So we have all girls, and my one that I'm expecting is a girl. And the statistic is less than 1% to have all girls. Crazy. Yeah. Crazy, crazy. Yeah. But obviously it's in the genes. I know, right? That's great. Kevin's only meant to have girls.
SPEAKER_02He's a girl dad. He's probably he's probably very in touch with his emotions. Yeah. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00That's great. Or you're like beaten down to like definitely feel that emotionally.
unknownTrue.
SPEAKER_02Poor guy. So what has been the best part for you of being a firewife?
SPEAKER_00I feel like it's well. What do I want to say? It's like an honor. I think every like other wives have said that too. It really is like an honor to have somebody who, you know, you can look up to that takes care of the community. He really is like, I don't know, in some way, I feel like it makes him like such a well-rounded even guy in general. Even though it's such a hard job, I feel like he can navigate a little bit like easier. I don't know. And I am proud to be his wife and to be a firewife. That's amazing. Yeah. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02What's been the I don't I don't like to say the word worse, but what's been the hardest part?
SPEAKER_00I feel like it's the schedule, definitely. Even though it's so easy. Like he's home as much as he's not home, you know. But that's probably the hardest thing. And I feel like he deals with calls pretty well. So it's not like he comes home a lot with having to like deal with that. But it is a a learning curve, I think, as we were younger, to be like, you know, how do you kind of like shut things off emotionally or like leave things at the door when you come home? And I think that's a hard part, too.
SPEAKER_02That's a really hard part.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. What have you figured out how to handle that? Like what's what's your technique?
SPEAKER_00I feel like it's just communication between the both of us, which we've learned over time. And maybe being young and married, I feel like we both have grown in the same thing or same career kind of together. That we've had our trials of, you know, I would argue with him saying how I do more or I have to worry about stuff at home. But like he has a hard job too. There's a lot of responsibility that he has to uphold at work that, you know, doesn't always click with me because I'm not at work and doing his job. I can only do my job at home. So I feel like in the beginning of our journey, that was like the hardest thing was navigating, like, okay, my role is to do this stuff at home. And I kind of just have to kind of like accept that scheduling. And not that that's a bad thing, but that is just like my role because it's like their schedule changes so much, they're not there enough to, you know, be present for every single thing, like birthday parties or things like that, or bringing them to practice, or bringing them. My girls do dance and sports and stuff, so it's like bringing them all those places. So I feel like that's like maybe the hardest thing to kind of like deal with, yeah. Is the emotional side of and missing out on stuff. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. And in a way, almost like single parenting.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Basically.
SPEAKER_02Right. Without really being a single parent.
SPEAKER_00Right.
SPEAKER_02Which is we're fortunate for that. But there are aspects of it that are similar.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I agree. That's like the heart, I think that's what you are you over the most. Who does what? Who does more? Which isn't always like the best thing, but we've kind of learned to as we've grown, like these are just like the way, it's just the way it is. Right. In that world. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02That's true. I remember talking to somebody about how it can't be 50-50 all the time.
SPEAKER_00A hundred percent.
SPEAKER_02It never will be.
SPEAKER_00And I feel like marriage, even marriage in general, is never 50-50. Because somebody is always giving when someone's giving 80% and maybe you're giving the 20%, there's always usually a reason for that. And I feel like it always shifts. So it's like even though somebody might be giving more and somebody might be giving less, the next time that person could have the opposite scenario. And I feel like once you realize that too, it can just be a little bit easier.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Trying to figure out, like, hey, what's going on with you?
SPEAKER_00Right.
SPEAKER_02Like, where's your head at right now?
SPEAKER_00Exactly. Right.
SPEAKER_02That makes sense. Yeah. Which is very good advice, I think, for anybody who's kind of in this, in this position that we're in. You know, just remembering that, hey, maybe they had a call that was really bad. Maybe, maybe they're just really beat down right now. And they, you know, we all get that way, and we're not all in a similar position.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_02But what other advice would you give? Anything other than that that comes to your mind?
SPEAKER_00Now I'm trying to think.
SPEAKER_02I know. Putting you on the spot too. Because that was probably your advice. Now you have to come up with something else.
SPEAKER_00I know, right? I feel like I don't know. Like, I feel like it's good to have a good support group. So, like, one of my, I have a a great family who's always there to help me out. My parents, they're like, you know, 911. It's like if I need help, they're definitely there. And then my best friend, Caitlin, her husband is a cop. So growing up, our two older kids are the same age and we had them obviously around the same time. And we actually used to do dinners together during the week. So if our husbands were working, I would call her and I'd be like, Oh, you want to come over for dinner? And we would like kind of switch on and off, which was so helpful. Because then she could relay in the schedule, kind of like I was at. I've known her since I was like 16. So when I went over there, I didn't really feel like it was like having like a sister. Like you don't feel like you're hosting. You're going over there to have like someone's, she'll make dinner if I'm over there, I'll make dinner if she's coming over my house. Right. The kids play, we hang out. And I think that was kind of like the best thing to have is to find some type of support to help you out, right? Like at home.
SPEAKER_02Right. That's really nice that you have that.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02So you have fire girls. Yes.
SPEAKER_01Well, a fifth one on the way.
SPEAKER_02Yes. Do you feel that Kevin being a firefighter, which is like a predominantly male field? Yep. Right. Has influenced how you raise your girls, or does it affect what you teach them? Or would you want them to be in that field, knowing that it's mostly men and a different mentality than girls and women are usually brought up with?
SPEAKER_00Yeah. I feel like none of my girls have showed like interest in that field. But I feel like it kind of actually, and maybe it's because we have all girls, it kind of softens him a little bit. Because the field is so hard that I feel like having all girls has maybe kind of like opened him up a little bit more emotionally. But I mean, I if they wanted to be, if they really wanted to be firefighters, of course, it's like, you know, they could go do it.
unknownRight.
SPEAKER_00The field is a hard field to be in. And I think as a woman it is too. So I feel like you really have to have the right personality to kind of go into that field.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_02You have to be tough.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, you do. And my girls are young, so I don't really see that quite yet. And I don't know if my husband would push them per se in that field. Maybe more towards like the medical side of stuff. But if they wanted to, of course, we would be like, Yeah, you would support regardless. Yes.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Do you think anybody's interested in the fashion or the hair or the makeup?
SPEAKER_00Yes, they are interested in that. And even like hairstyling is like that's a hard field too. It's hard on your body and stuff. I would I would say you would really have to be into it, but they are into all that. Yeah. Yeah.
unknownOh funny. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02I would not do well in that field. Like I am so illiterate with makeup. I can do hair okay, like for my own hair. Yeah. But I I I know nothing about makeup. I would just, I would I would be a very poor makeup artist. Okay.
SPEAKER_00I feel like it's like you can be taught. It is like a hard, it's hard because it is like very emotional. You become, it's the one field where you get to like touch your client, but then also you really get to know them. So like they'll tell they're there to kind of like enjoy themselves. They're relaxed, your clients. And we do share like a lot of different emotional stuff. They'll share emotional stuff with me. And if Like over time, I share stuff with them. We know a lot about each other. So even on my end, like coming home sometimes, I have to code be like, okay, I have to turn that off. Interesting. Of being like, I've been talked to all day long and sharing stuff. And some stuff is like sad, sometimes some stuff is great and fun in people's lives, but you hear a lot of different things where it's like, okay, I gotta take a breath before I walk through the door and like do the same thing, kind of like in a way what Kevin has to do. Okay, I gotta like leave that at the door.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. I mean, you're kind of a therapist sometimes. Yeah, a lot of yeah. I mean, people sit with you for at least an hour or two every time. And if you're coming every few weeks, yeah, you really get to know people.
SPEAKER_00You really get to know people. Yeah, yeah. People have told me, like, you know, oh, I if they've had cancer, if cancer's come back, or somebody's sick in their family, or and you're trying to like, and then people tell me, like, oh, I'm getting married, or I'm dating this person, or this is going on. And it's great because I love to like listen to people. I love to be there for them. So it's not like you know, I don't enjoy that part of my job, but it is kind of like you talk all day long. So sometimes when you leave, it's like, okay, I need to take like five minutes, yeah. Before I walk into the door. Do you drive in a quiet in a silent car ever? Yeah, I do. Like a lot of times I drive in a silent car almost all the time when I drive.
SPEAKER_02Okay, so I do that sometimes. Okay, I talk about weird. And I think And Robbie thinks it's the craziest thing. He's like, you have to be a sociopath to drive in a silence.
SPEAKER_00And I'm like, I just need to I never like told people anyways too, because it is weird. But I think it's weird. But I like I love to drive in silence.
SPEAKER_02Me too. It just it's time to just shut down for a minute and not have like if I especially if I know where I'm going, it's like an easy route. I have to think, it's quick.
SPEAKER_00I rather drive in silence a hundred percent.
SPEAKER_02What do you, when you're not in silence, what do you listen to in the car? Are you a podcast person, a music person, a book? I like podcasts.
SPEAKER_00What do you listen to right now? I listen to, I don't know, a lot of like different different right now. I listen to like kind of I grew up Catholic. So I've listened to, I found a few people that I like to listen to who do like a Catholic podcast just to kind of grow in my faith with that. I like like political stuff, but then I like fun kind of I don't know, girly stuff too, hairstyle stuff. So cool.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, yeah. The podcast game is just nuts right now. I know, yeah. Yeah. I usually listen to like true crime, just like a typical such a stereotypical answer, but they're so fun.
SPEAKER_00They're really good.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. What's your favorite like true crime podcast?
SPEAKER_00Well, I hear all the stuff from my mom. She's like into that, so she listens too, and so then I'll kind of catch up with her. Like the dateline oh, cool, like podcast. Nice, yeah.
SPEAKER_02That's great. I've listened to a bunch, but off the top of my head, I'm trying to think of there are so many actually. Now, now I'm trying to tell you what they're what they're doing. I know, and then it's like But there was one about this woman who during the pandemic, it's gonna the name's escaping me, but during the pandemic, she pretended to be pregnant a bunch so she could have midwives like over the phone support her. Oh my god. And it was like it was just the craziest scam. Like, I just can't wrap my mind around why you would pretend to like she pretended she was in labor, but having a bad labor and things like that, and like she never was pregnant at any point. I don't understand.
SPEAKER_00I don't like me and my mom will talk about because she listens to a lot more, so then I'll like read up on it. But she's like, There's always the three things, and I can never think of the third of why people like will hurt or murder somebody else. And it's like cheating, money, and then there's one other thing. She's like, and usually it's always one of those things. Yeah, makes sense, but I don't know.
SPEAKER_02People are people are weird, yeah. That's for sure. So you mentioned you're Catholic, you listen to some Catholic podcasts, and you're also into politics, which is interesting because right now we're in a weird world. Yeah. Tell me how you put those two together.
SPEAKER_00I don't know. I guess so. I like grew up Catholic, and then of course, like a lot of people, like I walk away from the faith. And then I think when I had my kids, there was kind of like a calling to go back. And so I like kind of have veered back. And so I feel like listening to people and listening to people debate, it kind of makes me learn a little bit more about my faith. And then I don't know, I always like listening to world kind of like views and stuff. So then the political stuff that kind of coincides with that, I listen to kind of like blend it all together, I guess. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, it's nice to have both both outlooks and put it together.
SPEAKER_00Right. And I think like through COVID, because of all that, like you know, you realize how wor like bad the world seems, but then if you can kind of come back and be like, oh, there is good always. So then it kind of brings grounds me a little bit that you have to focus on that. It's nice that you have that.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Yeah. Especially being a firewife, it must be helpful, I would imagine, to have that faith that you can think he'll be home. Or even if God forbid he wasn't, I would be taken it's gonna be okay.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. I definitely like have like I'll tell Kevin this, like, even like if we go to church on Sunday, it's like I always and I'm not saying I'm like a perfect Catholic, but I like pray that, you know, for his protection, that he always comes home. And if anything was ever to happen, then you know, I have a good support system, but I just rely on my faith that he was he'll be taken care of. I think that's like the only thing you can do because you can't really dwell on thinking about their job and stuff, bad things are gonna happen. Right.
unknownRight.
SPEAKER_00So it kind of lets me release that and leave it up to faith.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, that not everybody has that.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, yeah. Do you so do you bring your kids to church? Yeah. Yeah. We go how do they behave? Terrible.
unknownNo.
SPEAKER_00My youngest right now is terrible. My older two, they're good. They actually they altar serve, they wanted to do it, so we asked them. I also, though, I got involved with the choir, so I sing in the choir there.
SPEAKER_03That's nice.
SPEAKER_00So I do that. They have a contemporary choir, so it's only I do that one because it's every other Sunday. I tried the traditional one every Sunday, and it's like too much of a commitment with my kids, and then it comes down to like Kevin's schedule. He's not there every Sunday.
SPEAKER_01Right.
SPEAKER_00So when the kids were younger, I would have to find somebody to like watch them so I could do it. So contemporary is perfect. It's like two Sundays. I'm like, I can do something that's for me, and you know, it doesn't cost anything, just a little bit of my time and enjoy doing something else. That's great. Did you sing growing up? Just like in chorus, but I always kind of liked to like I like Broadway, I love all that stuff. So I was like, oh, this is something I could do. That's for me. It's like an hour of practice during the week and then an hour of my time on Sunday. And I was like, I can make this work. And now that my girls are older, like I can able to, I'm able to take them to practice. They'll take my youngest in the back and watch her. Oh, nice. And then we leave, yeah.
SPEAKER_02Wow. How old will you let your oldest babysit?
SPEAKER_00I know this is a good question because we were just debating that.
SPEAKER_02Like you have you you built yourself up for success having this many kids.
SPEAKER_00I was like, she'll be 11 in July. And I think they had like through our rec department, they had a babysitting thing that was like 11. And I was like, okay, if she does that and starts at home, maybe in the fall I can start kind of like letting her watch, like if I have to bring somebody to practice, run right back. But I don't know what like the perfect age is because I feel like I'm learning that too.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I think it probably depends on the kid.
SPEAKER_00I know, right? Yeah.
SPEAKER_02But first girls are usually pretty responsible.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I feel like she's pretty, she's pretty good. I mean, I don't know if I would leave my youngest home with her. I probably would like drag her along, but my older three are 10. Now you have to think, 10, 8, and 6. She could handle kind of like watching them if I had to like for like a quick thing. Yes, to like drop somebody off at practice that's like five minutes down the road and then come back. It's like, yeah. Definitely.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Okay. Parent to parent with this many children. What car do you drive?
SPEAKER_00Oh my goodness. I do you have a bus? That's what I need next. So you need. That's what I definitely need. We like joke that we need one of those big, like huge vans. But right now we drive, I drive a Buick Enclave. Okay, is it a three-row? It's a three-row. It has like the pilot, has the pilot seats, so I can kind of like get into the back a little bit easier.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_00I mean, it is, it's probably gonna be cramped once I have all five, but we'll we'll see how it goes.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Do you put the older kids in the back?
SPEAKER_00Yes. Yeah. So one of my girls is like, she always complains she gets car sick, so but she's gonna have to sit in the back because I can't put the car seats in the back. Yeah. Yep. Though I I'll let her like sit in the front if we're going somewhere, like, because she does get car sick, yeah. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Nobody needs to be cleaning that up.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, no.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, that's I mean, that's a tough one. We were looking for cars recently, whatever. I got a car probably a year ago now, which is crazy. And I ended up with a Pathfinder, which is a three-row. Oh, yeah. We only have two kids, but we have two dogs, and I drop my nephew off at school all the time, and this and that. So we always have three car seats in the car.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_02So I'm like, we might as well. Car, we're gonna have the car for a few years. You like need the you need the third row.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, you do. Yeah. Because then if you want to bring anybody extra, which we won't be able to anymore. Put them on top. Put them on top. Sorry, I gotta get your own ride. Um, you like need it to like get anywhere. And also like all the stuff they have. I know if you have sports, it's like then you gotta upload all that into your car.
SPEAKER_02That's true.
SPEAKER_00And the stroller that takes up so much room.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, the stroller is a big factor. Yeah. Do you have a what kind of stroller do you have? I wouldn't have even thought of that.
SPEAKER_00It's funny because we have like a Graco. We're gonna get a Graco double stroller. But I got Graco years ago because of like my dad worked at a company, American Saw, which is a new song that out. And Rubbermaid bought them. So like Rubbermaid owned Graco. Okay. And so I got a discount. Oh, nice. But I feel like now that's Graco's like, I don't know, people get different brands now.
SPEAKER_02I have pretty much all Greco's. I know. I think they're great. I think they're great. I feel like a lot of the brand names, like the Nuna and then this and that. Oh my gosh, they're so expensive. I know. And like your kids gonna puke and poop on it. Like, what's it?
SPEAKER_00And it just gets like my mom was like nice enough to get me a new stroller for my last baby as like a gift. And it's already like a year. Yeah. Like a mess. Yeah. We have a double stroller. Pretty clean, but it's like the dirt, everything.
SPEAKER_02It's unavoidable with kids. You can't help it. Yeah, we have the Great Go double stroller. It's good.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_02It's good. Yeah. I think you'd like it. Okay. We have the one that's like Is it the front and the back one? Uh huh. That's the one I was like just looking at. So we thought about the side by side, but it's hard to get through the door.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, you like knock everything like you can maneuver quickly.
SPEAKER_02I know, but then you have to remember that they're much farther out in front. I know, that's the only thing. So I keep bumping into people in the front because I'm like, ooh, sorry. I can't see. But it's good. I like it.
SPEAKER_00All right. Yeah, that's good.
SPEAKER_02You should think about it.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, that's what well, that's what we were just about to get. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02That's great. Cool. What funny stories or my last guest, her name was Noelle. She said, shift happens. Do you have any funny, not so funny things that happened to you while Kevin was at work that you're like, of course this would happen on a shift day?
SPEAKER_00Oh my goodness. So right before we lived in Wilburham, we lived in Summers, actually Connecticut, which sounds Connecticut probably sounds like far if you live out here, but it's 15 minutes from my house, like the border. So we like lived there for a little bit, and it's a very small town. So I was at home by myself. I just put the kids to bed, and I'm literally sitting on my couch, and our old house was like a cape. So our living room, you could literally see kind of like the front door. And I had these glass windows. It was like a door with the two glass windows on the side. And all of a sudden, like someone's knocking at my door. It's like nine o'clock at night. And I look and from the couch, I see a guy at my door. And of course, the window, our house was old. So the windows were like clear glass. So there was no avoiding. Oh, hell no. There was no avoiding make eye contact. And speaking of like all those murder podcasts, all I think about was like, just you can't open that door. Do not. Because they'll stick their foot in and then they'll come in. So I look at the guy and I was like, oh my God, what do I do? And of course, Kevin's working, of course. So then I walk over to the door and I'm like, Can I help? Can I help you? And he's like, I need a ride. I'm lost.
SPEAKER_01Nope.
SPEAKER_00He's like, I need a phone. And I was like, okay. I said, I'll be right back. I run over. So it's like a cape. So it's like our staircase is in the middle of the house. So I run through our living room, go to like where the basement door is, which is like directly around the other side. And I call Kevin first. I don't even call the cops first. I call Kevin and I'm like, oh my God, there's a guy at my front door. I was like, what do I do? He's asking for a ride. He's like, you call the cops. Yeah, like, what am I supposed to do about it? I've never called 911 in my life. Oh, really? Yeah. I was like, I've never had like an emergency to call. So he was like, you call 911. He's like, he got off the phone. He's like, I'll call 911. And so he called. And he's like, he got back on the phone. He's like, you have to call. So I got, I called 911. The lady picked up. I'm like, there's a guy at my door. I said, I'm alone by myself. My kids are home. He's asking for a ride. And like, she's like, is he still there? I'm like, I don't know. Yeah. I'm still, I'm like, I'm not going near the door because I don't want him to think it I'm going to open it. She's like, okay, well, the cops are coming and they should be there any minute. And she just like hung up the phone.
unknownWhat?
SPEAKER_02I know. You didn't stay on the phone with me.
SPEAKER_00No. So then I was like, okay. So I call Kevin back and I'm like, they said the cops were coming. And mind you, I live in a, it's this town was very small. So during the day, they have a police department. During at night, they use the state police. Okay. So there's like probably a couple that will go through the town. And so I call Kevin back and I'm like, they said the police are coming. I don't know what to do. So I'm like on the floor, crawling into like my daughter's room because I can see the front door from her window. Oh my goodness. And he walked away by that point. So then I call my dad, because they only live like 15 minutes. So he came over and he like circled the yard. And the guy obviously wasn't there. And then Kevin was on the forums, which, as anybody knows, those forums are so open. Everybody's like post on there. He's like, I'm on the forum. He's like, I see that other he went to other people's doors and people are saying that. Oh my goodness. So the police were actually, they didn't come to me because they were probably tracking where he was. Where he was. So they've eventually found him and he legit needed a ride. Like that's what he was looking for. So they to like his house. He was like, Oh, I got dropped off. Oh, who knows?
SPEAKER_02He must have been mentally unwell. Yeah. I think.
SPEAKER_00Or like on something. Or on something, yeah. And so they brought him back to like wherever he was. And my and this is a nice town. So it's not like, you know, it was a bad neighborhood or anything like that. Yeah. It was just some random guy. But of course, I'm by myself. Of course, with the kids. I know. That's crazy. That's probably my craziest story that I've ever had. That's so terrifying. Oh, yeah. It was at the time. And then, of course, afterwards, I'm like, you know, all I can do is laugh about it. So I was like, I'm like, of course this happens. And my dad's like, yeah, I know. He's like, Did you install a security system after that? Yeah, we had like cameras after that. Yeah. As usual. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Wow, that's really scary. I'm glad you're okay. Yeah. Wow. All the stuff that I've heard so far has been like, you know, we have a leak in the roof and stuff like that.
SPEAKER_00No, I have a guy come to my house. And my mom's like, don't open the door. Because of course she listens to all that stuff too. I'm like, I know. I would hear he would stick his foot in, and that's how you would get in.
SPEAKER_02I know. Did you ever watch Criminal Minds? I have watched that. That show will mess you up. Oh my God. I know. Yep. Absolutely. So one, I've called 911 a few times. Usually it's while I'm driving. One time I was driving, I was coming home on like a road nearby here, and this car flashed their high beams at me. So I was like, oh, it must be a cop. Like that was my thought. I wasn't going fast anyway, but it was nighttime. And so I slowed down anyway. And then I see this person laying down in the road. Oh my God. Wearing all black. Just in the road. Like if I if that person hadn't flashed me, for all I know, I might not have slowed down enough and I would have run them right over. Yeah. So I slowed, slowed down. I was about to stop. And he jumps right up and he jumps to the sidewalk and he waves at me like he's trying to flag me over, like, come here, come here. And I was like, Hell no, I'm not coming here. So I just kept going and I called 911. And I guess multiple people had called saying that he was doing the same thing. So I don't know if he was trying to like pull somebody over to jump them. Yeah. Or like help them. Yeah. But like, why would you lie down in the middle of the street if you need help?
SPEAKER_00Yeah. So what if I ran you over and killed you? Especially being like a woman, I'm like, I am not stopping for not for anybody.
SPEAKER_02No. No, I'll call 911 for you. And that's the best that I can do, especially with kids in the street.
SPEAKER_00Oh my God. No. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02No good. Not gonna happen. Wow. Well, that's quite the story.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_02You handled it very well.
SPEAKER_00Well, thank you.
SPEAKER_02Nice job. Any other stories or things that you would want to share? Anything else that you want to tell me about yourself or anything about being a firewife?
SPEAKER_00I know. That's like the craziest story I had. I feel like I don't know. I'm just like proud to be a firewife. I'm proud to be my husband, my husband is truly the best. I love him so much. So it's like, you know, he takes very good care of me, very good care of our family. And yeah, without him, I couldn't do like anything. But I feel like I don't know. I love what he I love that he loves what he does. I feel like people that become firefighters, it was like his. I I always say this to him. I'm like, you are the one person I know that did your childhood dream dream. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Where you he like knew he wanted to do that and he did.
SPEAKER_02And he didn't.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_02That's so true. That's so true.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Yeah. It's definitely a calling. It definitely is. Yeah. We're very lucky. I think one of the things that I love about Brabie being a firefighter is that yes, he's away for 24 hours at a time. And I know some fire schedules are much more difficult. I know.
SPEAKER_00And I was like, I don't know how they how they do it. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02But still, like we'll have a random. I work three days a week, so we'll have like a random Wednesday off together. And I'm like, wow, this is the best.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_02You know? Because there's it's, you know, people are working. So we get to do whatever we want. No traffic, no people, you know, it's great. I know. That is like the best part about it. Yeah. And then you get to like really bond.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Like during the week when the kids are in school, we would do stuff together or like get stuff done together. Right. And it's like that's like one of the most wonderful things kind of.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, you get to like almost keep dating in a way. When when the kids are old enough to be in school. I'll say that.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Right? Like you get to still have those days together where you're like, neither of us is working right now. We can do whatever we want.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. It's like great. Yeah. As much as it is when it's like it sucks for them to work the weekends and they work because of the way it falls. It seems like we just went through that. It's like he worked every weekend. Yeah. For like so many in a row. Yeah. And now it's finally like, okay, you're on the good side of the schedule. You get a couple weekends where we get it. But having those days off during the week is like priceless. That's nice. Yeah. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Does he do anything on the side? So he actually does real estate on the side. So he actually just started doing that. What does he think? He Loves it actually because it's something different. He's very good at talking, and so he it's a good job for him. That schedule's also a little like all over the place. So right now it's like trying to adjust of like okay, you have a showing to do, we gotta like work out like how do you kind of navigate that. But he like loves a that's great. I feel like all firefighters have a second job.
SPEAKER_02They have to, yeah, they have to. It doesn't pay enough unless they're married to somebody who's making a ton of money.
SPEAKER_00That's why one of the reasons like why he came out working this way, even though we live kind of in Western Mass, and it's about an hour and 15. It was like a better opportunity to kind of like, okay, took the civil service. He can kind of like explore a little bit of like, you know, what has bigger opportunities for him career-wise. Right. And kind of coming out this way, it did help in that way. Yeah, for sure. Because that job isn't always like it's good, it's become better paying, I have to say. Yeah. As like it's progressed. Right.
SPEAKER_02So you must not be able to go to a lot of the events because you live so far.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Yeah. That's why I was kind of like, I liked listening to this. I liked getting know some of like, you know, the wives in a way, but then listening to people talk about their experiences. I mean, I'm still close with a lot of the wives from the old department that he came from.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, okay, that's great. Because that's near where you live. Yeah. That's like, yeah. Right. Wow. I have been trying to be more. I'm just such a homebody that I'm like, 45 minutes is so far. But I don't want to do that anymore. I want to really be more involved. And it's been really nice getting to know people. So I'm I feel lucky with that. Yeah. But I mean, I want our daughter to like grow up being part of part of that community.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, you know, and so it that is kind of nice to like have that.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. And our son too, but he's still a baby. He doesn't know anything.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_02But maybe one day. Yeah, exactly. Right. We actually brought my nephew recently. We went to the firehouse. It was his first time visiting a firehouse, and he saw Robbie come down the the pole. And it was he like played with the hose and it was just it was awesome.
SPEAKER_00So cute. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. My girls all loved it too. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02It's a lot, it's a lot of fun. Yeah. Right? Like the lights and the sirens, and they get to climb things and do stuff. And it's fun for them.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. You can go in the trucks and see all this stuff. Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. And then they usually get a treat. Like they always have something sweet there. And yeah. Treats, hats, like whatever it is. Like. So what's your go-to dinner, knowing how many mouths you have to feed?
SPEAKER_00Oh my goodness. I feel like we do a lot of like last night we did meatballs. That was like a big like meatball grinder spaghetti, tacos, like typical hamburgers. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02I mean, you have to. Yeah. You can't do anything fancy.
SPEAKER_00No, like stuff that's like quick. I mean, I I do like to cook, so sometimes I'll come up with my own thing, and hopefully they all like it. But it's so busy during the week. It's like whatever we can do. Yeah. And like right now that I'm pregnant, it's like I don't like anything. Like I feel like cooking seems like so much work. When I actually do like it, but I'm like, every day Kevin's like, what do you want? And I'm like, I don't know. Yeah. Like, I don't know. Nothing.
SPEAKER_02I want nothing to do. I want nothing. Yeah. Yeah. Like you have to eat, but nothing sounds good.
SPEAKER_00But nothing sounds good. Nothing sounds appetizing. So whatever is like quick. But I mean, I do try to like make somewhat healthy meals and like home cooked meals as much as I can because we're so on the go. Yeah.
unknownRight.
SPEAKER_00Which is hard.
SPEAKER_02Which is hard.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. We just went on vacation and all we ate was like pretzels and pizza. And we got a little hotel like suite thing. And we had a fridge and everything. We had a kitchen, but we didn't get like enough fruit and this and that. And I just realized I learned a lot about my daughter. Like she I know she loves fruit. She's okay with vegetables. She is so much pickier than I realized because at home I can always be like, well, here's some fruit.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_02Like fruit's healthy, and that's great. But we didn't get enough fruit. So she would spend the whole day just like eating nothing.
SPEAKER_00Well, that's like my girls too. They love fruit. Yeah. And you can always kind of gear them towards, okay, we'll have that instead of like those bag of chips. But when you are out, you just kind of deal with it. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, you can't wait till you get home to like actually have like a home cooked meal.
SPEAKER_02I know, I know. So I'm like, our fridge is empty. So I'm like, today's the day, because we just got back last night. I'm like, today's the day. I'm gonna go and stock up. We're gonna get so much fruit, so many vegetables, which is good, right? Like it's a good thing. But like we have nothing. I'm like, we need meat, we need everything bread, bagels, all of it.
SPEAKER_00Well it's like constantly in our house, it's like we're running out of stuff or running to the store a couple times a week. Oh, we need produce. It's always like the first thing that goes that goes. Yeah. Yeah. We go through. What grocery store do you go to? We go to well, big Y is near us. Okay. So we go to Big Y a lot, but then we just got a BJ's build. Just gonna say you must have a BJ's. Yes. And then we have a Costco. Okay. So before that, we used to go to Costco like all the time. Yeah. Now where we live, it's like BJ's is like right there. So we get a lot of stuff there. That's great.
SPEAKER_02They have a lot more than you expect them to.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. That's awesome.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
unknownThanks.
SPEAKER_02All right. Well, anything else that you want to mention? I don't think so. Cool. Thank you so much for coming. This is lovely. Thank you for having me. I'm glad we finally got to know each other a little bit. Oh, no. It's great. Thanks for having me. This has been great. This has been great. All right. We'll we'll talk soon. Okay. Thank you so much for listening. I hope you enjoyed being here as much as I did. If you have any questions for me or if you'd like to be interviewed, please reach out at the firewivespodcast at gmail.com. You can also follow me on Instagram and Facebook. Tune in next week for the next episode of Firewives.