Fire Wives
Join me as I chat with my fellow Fire Wives about what it's like to be married to a Firefighter. Every week, we’ll be talking about the good and the bad of being in the Fire Family, sharing funny stories, and highlighting the spouses that make it all possible.
Fire Wives
E15 Sarah
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Hi Sarah.
SPEAKER_01Hi, Noah.
SPEAKER_00How are you?
SPEAKER_01Good.
SPEAKER_00How are you?
SPEAKER_01Good. Thanks for having me.
SPEAKER_00Thanks for taking the time to talk to me. I appreciate it. So tell me a little bit about yourself.
SPEAKER_01Sure. So I am Sarah Bouvier. I am wife to Doug Bouvier. So he works at Natick Fire. And he's a captain at Station One. We have two little boys, Thomas and Henry. Henry is almost six, and Tom just turned three. And we live in Rosendale, which is a neighborhood of City of Boston. And I work full-time mostly from home, which is really nice, in human resources, specifically like employee benefits for RTX Corporation.
SPEAKER_00Cool. How long have you been working there?
SPEAKER_01Just a year and a half. Before that, I worked for Mass Journal Brigham, which has more local roots. And I worked there for 10 years.
SPEAKER_00Wow. How do you like the new company in comparison?
SPEAKER_01It's good. It's it's great. It's very different. So not not so much different from moving from large employer to large employer. So the employee benefits world is small when it comes to health insurance, retirement. You kind of see a lot of the same familiar faces because there's only so many companies and so many people within those companies that deal with large clients. So lots of familiar faces. But what was really different was moving from nonprofit to for-profit. And there's a lot more travel with my my current role.
SPEAKER_00What kind of places do you go? Sure.
SPEAKER_01So this year I have been to Puerto Rico, Chicago, Texas, Austin, Texas. It's kind of a hodgepodge. Ends up being in mostly Farmington, Connecticut. So my team is based in Farmington, Connecticut. So I end up doing a lot of trips there just to meet in person with either the team or vendors. Ends up being about like 40 days a year.
SPEAKER_00Okay. Do you like that?
SPEAKER_01The first year was definitely transition. It was hard. I didn't know exactly how it was all gonna flow. As you know, Doug's work, like it can be flexible. So that was really something I had to think about and take advantage of when I started kind of scheduling these different trips. But kind of this is like the second year. I'm coming up on almost two years in September. And we just got through kind of what I dictate as like travel season. And this second time around, it was much more I'll call like mentally relaxed. Um and I could actually like be there as opposed to just being worried about what's happening back home or you know, all of the anxiety leading up to the trip of planning and making sure everything's going right. I feel like the whole ecosystem that we've built kind of got more comfortable with it, so I got more comfortable.
SPEAKER_00That's great. So it goes to show that Doug really knows what he's doing when he's home. So anyway he tries to get out of it.
SPEAKER_01Exactly.
SPEAKER_00Do you get to explore the places that you go, or is it really just business?
SPEAKER_01It is it is truly business. And you know, better for worse, I feel like it's it's very much much like a first world problem. But what when I'm going on these conferences, they're at really nice places where sometimes you don't even have to leave the I'll call like a the this hotel compound. Like they have all the restaurants right there, they have you know beautiful private spaces that the company is renting out, and uh you know, there's there's lots of things during the day, like in the different conference centers and networking that happens. But yeah, there are many times like I I went to San Diego earlier this year, and I don't like we didn't really leave the hotel and we were there for like three or four days, but yeah, not a not a whole lot of traveling happening with around or exploring.
SPEAKER_00So, do you consider those places somewhere that you've been? Like when you're checking off your map, do you count it?
SPEAKER_01I count it with Henry because he's very interested in knowing, like, like we put out a map before I go. He wants to know exactly like where I'm flying from, where I'm flying to, and he is so interested. Like he like wants me to talk about it and like to, you know, and then he decides if it's somewhere he wants to go, which I think is like a very funny aspect to to this whole thing. But yeah, so he he he loves it, and you know, he understands it now. He knows that I'm leaving and I'm coming home. And I think that also kind of goes with like the second round, right, of of travel season, where he and Tom both understand what it means. Like, I'm not leaving forever, I'm just gone for a few days and I come back.
SPEAKER_00Right. Yeah. Do you ever do anything with them on like shift night? Like I've been trying after talking to somebody, I've been trying to do like dinner in our little pink princess tent in the toy room when Robbie's at the firehouse. Do you do stuff like that with them?
SPEAKER_01I try to once a week or once every other week have like a special kind of like friends dinner. Like, like we have this community of moms who not all of them are firefighters, but some are police officers, some are they work for the city or for DCR for the city, and they just have weird schedules where they're not necessarily home at night. And I very much am on the thought process of having like a community, and that it's easier, right? To to manage a lot of that alone time to be with like other families that you know are also kind of having that alone time. So I definitely make an effort to when I meet someone, I have that connection, whether it's through, you know, school or their daycares or just people we've met along the way, to try and put out that olive branch and and either have people like at our house or we'll go to a park and have a picnic or you know, di different activities. But you know, there's definitely something so that I don't want them to like feel like they're like alone. I don't know. That's like a weird thing I've kind of put together in my head.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, that makes total sense. The reason I ask, I mean, that sounds lovely, but the reason I ask is I wonder if Doug does the same when you're gone. Now he has that roles are reversed a little bit.
SPEAKER_01So Doug definitely enjoys hanging out, probably more with his family. So, like during that time, like he's like, okay, Sarah's away. Like, can I get up to Rockport to see my parents? Can I like make plans with my brother in New Hampshire? He's really good from that aspect. But from when it comes to like reaching out to like friends or like neighborhood people that we have here, that first year of travel, like I was setting that kind of stuff up. I was like, this is what they're used to. This is you know, this is gonna be easier for you, right? Like trying to like set that stage. And he kind of just had to figure out what worked for him. And you know, I I think he may get there because he's commented, he's just like it once you get into a rhythm of either with like same or similar families, like having that time where like it's just like dinner and like watching TV, and like that togetherness is is something. It it helps.
SPEAKER_00It definitely helps. I mean, it can feel so much less overwhelming when you have that community, yeah. And and you're like, you know what, 24 hours is not so bad, or whatever that shift may be, it's not so bad when you have something to look forward to and people to do it with. Right? Right. How did you and Doug meet?
SPEAKER_01We met in college. We both went to Suffolk University, and I was on the women's basketball team, and Doug was on the men's basketball team. So um, we met through he was doing work study with some of my roommates because a lot of athletes kind of did the same work studies. And yeah, they they just you know, kind of organically we became friends and and then we made it more serious. That's great.
SPEAKER_00Wow. So how long have you been together?
SPEAKER_01Uh so this is something you might have to take out because I am not sure.
SPEAKER_00I'm not gonna take it out.
SPEAKER_01We have been together since I was 20 and I am 41 now, so 21 years. Yeah. Wow, that's great. When did you I should know that because it it was 20 years? He definitely he's so good with the dates. I am so bad. So he definitely told me about the 20 years this past November. So I I should know that. We got married. We had been together for like nine years. I want to say we got married in like 2014. You want to say you've got to remember. I am so bad. I and I literally what I'm picturing in my head is like a plaque that's downstairs that someone got us for like a wedding. How old were you when you got married? 30. No, 29. Because we we have a really small wedding at Jamaica Pond, just our parents and our siblings, 10 people, I think total. And then we had that was in October, and then we had like a celebration party in downtown Boston at the Marlyov. It's a restaurant that's not open anymore, but I used to work at. Wow. That's how the timeline works in my head.
SPEAKER_00There you go. Well, so then okay, that does put you about 2014, I think. If it was 12 years ago. Yeah. Yeah. Yep. Wow. That's that's really funny. I don't think I've ever met someone who doesn't remember what year they got married.
SPEAKER_01It's to me, it's like all fluid. I've like, yeah, it's it's funny because Doug also will say things that like register more in my head. He'll say things like, I've spent more of my life now with you than I have without you. And, you know, I I resonate with that. I'm just like, I don't remember, you know, what what it was like before then. And just so much, you know, in life and in this world has changed that in my head, I'm kind of just like, yeah, I'm I've always been together with Zach. It's this like everlasting thing.
SPEAKER_00Like everything before that is is gone, ancient history. Yeah. That makes sense. Yeah, I can relate to that. So you've been a firewife for quite some time, was Doug? So no, you met in college, meaning he wasn't a firefighter yet, right? Right. Did you know he wanted to become one? Yes. Yes.
SPEAKER_01What did he study? And so he he studied first he was in economics, and then he moved, I think, to just like a general business degree. He graduated with that and immediately went to paramedic school. And I just remember being like, why didn't you just go to paramedic school?
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Well, I get the college tuition debt.
SPEAKER_01Well, if you had like no interest in ever doing that, right? Yeah. But you know, that's like how we were brought up. So I I yeah, like you go to college, right?
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_01And he, yeah, so he did that and went to paramedic school. He worked for Cotaldo for a while. And then he started, uh, he took the what is it called? It's not civic union.
SPEAKER_00Civil union.
SPEAKER_01Civil union test. And he got a card for is it civil union or is that when people get married? Yeah. So it's not civil union. It's not.
SPEAKER_00That's when people get married like by the state. What is oh my god, Sarah, what is it?
SPEAKER_01I don't know, because I feel like it was such a common phrase in our house for so long. Like, how can I not remember that?
SPEAKER_00I don't know. And now that you said civic unions, like it's never I'm never gonna well maybe it's a civic union. I I don't know. No, no, it's not. You have no idea what it's called.
SPEAKER_01Anyway, so the test to get on. I don't know what it is.
SPEAKER_00He took that test. This might be the hardest I've ever left uh during one of these podcasts. I can't believe we're forgetting the word right now. You would think it's like two in the morning right now. That's how I'm feeling.
SPEAKER_01It's it might as well be. It's five of eight. That's it. Like we're done. I mean, I don't know when your day started. I started at like six. Like I'm exhausted.
SPEAKER_00It'll come to me.
SPEAKER_01Anyway, so you can cut this part out, but like it's all they're talking about, their negotiation right now. Like it's it's very much in our house right now. Like I should know this. I know, I know, I know.
SPEAKER_00Wow, I'm losing it. Oh my goodness.
SPEAKER_01Okay, okay. You well, we we know he took a test, and he he started getting cards, and he got he knew from the beginning because he already has paramedic, he was like, I want to be part of a fire fire department that has paramedic as part of the role. And Natick was one of the first cards he got. And we were living in South Boston at the time renting, and I just remember being like, No, well, no, he sorry, that timeline got mixed up. It's called civil service.
SPEAKER_00It I I wasn't even listening to anything you said. It was called civil service.
SPEAKER_01Okay, we'll start again so we can cut out that whole part.
SPEAKER_00No, no, no, keep going, keep going. This is about the listeners, it's not about me. It doesn't matter if I go ahead.
SPEAKER_01Sorry, so the civil service test, yeah. And he started getting cards, and we were actually he got on native. We're actually living with his parents in Reading because we were saving up to buy a house, so we were saving for our down payment. And it's kind of a hike from Natick, isn't it? Uh it is, yeah, it's like 45 minutes at least. And he got on Natick, and at the time there was that rule of 10 miles as the crow flies, and he he actually was part of the hiring process with Rob. I don't know if you remember that.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, they got on at the same time, right? Yeah, so Robbie got grandfathered in. Oh, okay. So I don't know how that can be because if they got on at the same time, why was Doug not grandfathered in? He probably was. Yeah, so just to just to clarify, that's that's people can't live outside of 10 miles away from the station. And so writing was obviously much farther than that.
SPEAKER_01Yes, and we had a certain timeline, I forgot what it was, maybe it was like 12 months or six months where we had to at least have an address that was closer to Natick. And or maybe it was more like just kind of pressures from the department, right? To to be like, you should, you know, live closer to Natick because we're not going to force this, but this is part of you know our rules. And we we looked at all the towns surrounding Natick and we were like, wow, we could never afford to live here. We were like kids. We were like, okay, Wellesley, Needham, yeah, even Natick itself. We were like, oh my gosh, we we can't do this. And then I I'm a city girl. I have always lived in a city, always grew up in a city. Living in Reading was like an enigma. Like, I was just like, this is fun to like be here for a moment, but like I I really, you know, want to get back to a city. And Roslindale ended up being as the crow flies, right within that 10 mile radius. So we bought a house in Roslindale that completely needed to be redone, but the bones were good and we could live in it as we were redoing it, and we're still here now.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, that's great.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, Robbie has helped with some of that work.
SPEAKER_00I remember he's like, Yeah, I remember because he was telling me he's like, I'm never gonna work in Boston again. It was you guys and then Eric Williamson, only because the permits take forever and there's no parking. So he's super hesitant, not because he doesn't love you guys, but just because it's just getting to Boston and we're far from there. So get it. It's hard, yeah. Like you have to plan.
SPEAKER_01It's ridiculous.
SPEAKER_00I know you have to plan like six months ahead to get a permit or more. I don't know. So it's it's definitely not as easy as like doing a little job nearby, you know.
SPEAKER_01Right.
SPEAKER_00No, for sure. But do you love it?
SPEAKER_01I do. I do. I love that we live in like a neighborhood of a city, so we still have that neighborhood feel. We have kind of made our our city front yard. We got like a fence that, you know, at first sight looks like why would they do this? It it opens up so when it's on its sides, it looks fine. When you close it so that we're able to use like our entire front yard and like the kids are safe, and like the balls and all of the sports things like are safe. There's like huge gaping holes because the driveway goes up. It looks very funny.
SPEAKER_00Okay.
SPEAKER_01The so it it looks it looks fine when it's like this, but when you bring it out, it it's like the ground is like here and the oh oh well, whatever. I feel like this gap. It is, and it's it's just such like a funny kind of cookie cutter thing that I think of that we've made that we were just like, okay, like if we're gonna stay here, we have to do this kind of stuff to like we're outdoor people, like we're gonna want to be in our front yard. We want our kids to like be able to ride their bikes and like you know, but yeah, no, it's great. We that's good. We love it. That's I can walk to Dunkin' Donuts. That's really like that's one of my topics.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I think from my house to the closest Dunkin' Donuts. I mean, I can drive in like six minutes or seven minutes, but it's definitely not walkable, so it's very different here in Mansfield than it is in Rosendale. Yeah, yeah. So, okay, he went to college, then went to paramedic school and was like, forget everything I learned in college, went to Natick. How did you feel about his decision to join the fire department?
SPEAKER_01He like you said, I kind of knew from the beginning. Like it wasn't, you know, something he had for me. He was like, This is what I want to do. This is like what I feel like I've like been meant to do almost. He and he aligned himself almost immediately from college to get there. Like he just needed to get there. And at the same point that that this is happening, he has two other brothers, and one of his brothers is a police officer, and another one is in the army. So they kind of have their like individual lanes of of support that they do. And once he got to Natick and he saw that not only like once you get beyond that initial fire training, right? That's like for three months every day, people had other jobs, right? It's the the two 24-hour shifts. And we talked a lot about like, well, what is your like side job gonna be? Like, well, what does that look like? And he he looked at me and he he knew immediately, he was like, I am so interested in medicine I learned from being a paramedic. He's like, I want to be a nurse, and that was like a kind of like a second hurdle um because now he has his full-time job. He's going back to school for a second bachelor's degree because he can't do a master's or even an accelerated program because of his full-time job that he clearly can't leave. So it was a lot, and this was pre-kids, which thank goodness, because otherwise it would have been very difficult. But he did all the swaps, he did, you know, all of the paid time off and vacation, and like he was just wheel. I felt like I said, when people see you coming at the firehouse, do they just see you like wheeling and dealing? He's like that was it we were talking about even like the other day, and we were just like, wow, we like forget.
SPEAKER_00So you said that his his brothers were both in this of some sort of service. Yeah were his parents?
SPEAKER_01His mom was a nurse and his dad worked at a local it was kind of like a materials uh place for construction sites and helping with like larger projects. And yeah, so I'm I I ask his mom all the time, I'm like, So what did you instill in these boys? That like he felt like they needed to to give back. Yeah. And she just she doesn't know. But it's definitely signs of she did something right.
SPEAKER_00She probably He she probably inspired them more than they realized. I mean, I'm sure their his dad is lovely too, but nursing is I mean, they're the legitimate heroes of the medical field. Like they take all the shit, they do all the shit work, and and they don't get thanked for it. So I I am not surprised to hear his mom is a nurse and that he was inspired to do the same thing. Makes sense.
SPEAKER_01Absolutely. And he says all the time, he's like, I kind of wish I like realized it like a little bit earlier. Yeah. And that's what I wanted to do. And I'm like, yeah, well, he's a woman being 2020. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00He learned a little bit about the economy, and that's great. What about you? Do you feel like you knew exactly what you wanted to do? Or was that a little roundabout as well?
SPEAKER_01Definitely roundabout. I had no idea. When I was in college, my major was public relations. And I had this kind of like idea of what public relations was. And I didn't even think through kind of like some of the things that would make someone really good in public relations, right? Like so you so you probably want like an extrovert and you want someone that like has all this energy and that's out there and like I could not be further from me. I think you know that. Like I'm like, I am an introvert, I talk to the people that I know, and like I try and be friendly to everybody, but uh, you know, I'm not the person that's going up and starting conversation with someone that I've never met before and like, you know, falling into like all of these amazing stories, right? And I'm not like up for publicizing something I either don't believe in or that I don't understand, right? Or, you know, are fully behind. So when I got to my junior year, I remember being like, wow, I need to do something with my minor because like there's no way I'm doing public relations. And I ended up minoring in business. I think it was business. Maybe it was accounting. Another thing you don't remember. I don't remember. I ended up getting an accounting job out of it. So maybe that's just what's great in my head. I think it I think it was a minor in business.
SPEAKER_00But remember what you minored in in college. Like I told you I don't remember anything, but I don't remember anything. I could look at my resume and tell you.
SPEAKER_01Uh no, I don't need to know. I just think it's funny. No, I think it's I believe you, whatever you say. I think it was business because I took more courses and just accounting. It was like six courses in total, but like at least two of them were like really into accounting. And I was like, okay, I could do this. And I ended up getting a fraud accountant job out of right once school ended. And I did that for eight months, and it was during 2008 when the recession was like starting. And I was like, wow, I thought I didn't want to go into public relations. Like this, this is even a worse job. I go into like every accountant's office or yeah, yeah, yeah, lawyers or accountants, and they like hated me instantly. And I was like, oh my gosh, like I haven't even like opened your books yet. Like, and then you know, I just had some bad experiences and I was just like, wow, I did that for eight months. It was like, could not have been worse job for me. And then I went into during college, I worked in restaurants to help pay for tuition in my housing. So I went back to I had already always kept like a shift or two. So it's not like I was completely removed, but I was just like, I need to leave my job. I was like, is there like a management role or something I can like do when I'm here? And kind of just transitioned into that. So I managed restaurants for five or six years, and sort of the role that I came into was creating human resource programs. So it was like creating the employee booklet. There was a lot of traction with like the Romney Health Insurance going on at that time. And you could also start to open like simple IRAs for employees. So I kind of took liberty and like started like building out some of the stuff and was just like, I think this is like what I want to do. And I went to UMass Boston and got a certificate in human resource management. And one of the teachers there worked at Mass Journal Brigham and kind of helped me through what what that career could look like. And I started like right of the ground in Mass Journal Brigham as call center representative and just worked my way up. And it was probably like the best way that that it could have happened. I like fell on human resources, but through like a kind of very long path.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. And at least you know that you know, if you hadn't done those other things, you might have always wondered, like, would I have been good at that or would I have loved that? And now you know, which is kind of nice. Which is kind of nice. So you've made some big life changes during the 2008 recession, and also during COVID, you were pregnant. What was that like?
SPEAKER_01So Doug and I had been trying for a child for like almost two years at that point. And we had gotten, I found out that I was pregnant in February of 2019. And in March was obviously when everything closed down. 2020.
unknown2020.
SPEAKER_01Yes. Okay, it was 2020. So I'll start again.
SPEAKER_00No, keep going. I just think this is great. You have no concept of time. I didn't know that about you. It's gone.
SPEAKER_01Well, and like in my head, like for like medical insurance is like when we refer to it, we call it COVID 19. So in my head, I'm like everything started in 2019.
SPEAKER_00Oh wow, I never thought about that. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01But it didn't, right? I mean, it did. Well, like in December.
SPEAKER_00I think the virus did, but it wasn't a pandemic yet. Yes, right.
SPEAKER_01Okay.
SPEAKER_00So February of 2020.
SPEAKER_01February in February of 2020. I found out that I was pregnant with Henry, and we were like so thankful. And we had started to hear about COVID. And at the time Doug was firefighting and he was at the firehouse, also a paramedic. He was working as an ER nurse per diem at the Faulkner. And there were just so many more questions and answers at that point in March when they started to come out with like what COVID could be and what it was. And when we went into lockdown, we were very worried. We we kind of just didn't know what to do or what to expect. And we ended up making a pretty big transition where I moved to Rockport with his dad, and his mom moved into Rosendale with him because she was a nurse at Newton Wellesley, who was also being, you know, subject to to you know the illness. So we did that for like eight weeks. What was that like?
SPEAKER_00Wait, early pregnancy, and you're living with your father-in-law in that in a shutdown.
SPEAKER_01In a shutdown, in a house that they literally just bought. Like they didn't decorate yet. They haven't left done anything.
SPEAKER_00That is brave of you.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. And and my dog came with me. So it was really like me, Doug's dad, and our dog Elsa. And we just like made the best of it. Yeah. But yeah, it was certainly different. It was different times. And it was that 12-week point was so awkward, right? Because you you wait, you usually wait till like at least 12 weeks, right? Until you start to tell people. And especially I was like so nervous that it wasn't gonna, you know, nothing was gonna come of this. And like I had to like tell my parents at like I think it was week seven or eight, because like they would have been like, Why are you moving to Rockport? Like, what are you talking about?
SPEAKER_02Right, yeah.
SPEAKER_01And then at 12 weeks, I had to tell my work because we were on a shutdown and I was I needed like half a day to go into Boston from Rockport to go to a doctor's appointment. And like they were like, What do you like? Why would you need to go in for a doctor's appointment? Is there more things like it's so good? No, but like I saw their confusion and I was just like, I'm pregnant. Like, there's literally no other reason why I would have to do this. And if I didn't say they would have known it, kind of, or like started. Yeah, yeah. So it was it was weird times. It was weird times of something like I probably wasn't like ready to like share and living in this different environment. But I have to say, Doug's dad was a great roommate. Yeah, he is. We we talk about it like all the time. We think it was like hysterical.
SPEAKER_00It's like funny looking back at it, yeah.
SPEAKER_01It is, yeah.
SPEAKER_00It is, and do you think he reminds you of Doug? Or Doug, like is living with Doug sort of similar to living with his dad?
SPEAKER_01It it is in certain respects, right? They're both kind of quiet and like they'll like kind of keep to themselves. But the the difference between Doug and Doug's dad, I feel like, is that like I grew up in Fall River and his dad grew up in Ipswich, but was like the son of like a railroad worker. And there are just like certain things in like those time periods that like him and I totally like bond on. Like when it comes to like food, like we we have like the worst tastes in food. Like, we're like, let's eat hot dogs and beets. You know, like the beans. Oh, beans. Okay, really weird things that like we could eat for like days on end. And like when we bring like Doug and Doug's mom into the picture, they're just like, absolutely not. Like, what are you guys talking about? What are you thinking? Like just like grilled cheese, like like just like very simple, like very I don't know, the things that like were just so normal to me and like normal to him, and we kind of just took those things together.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, you must be pretty close with him now. Yeah, yeah, that's great. So you say Doug is reserved, and I know that about him just from knowing him, but I will say I have heard about his sense of humor. I've heard that he is he has a very dry sense of humor, but is one of the funniest people alive.
SPEAKER_01That's what I heard. Would you agree? So sarcastic, I would absolutely agree. That's what I've heard. He is so sarcastic, like and he just has some really good one-liners, yeah, that just stop you in your tracks, and you're like, oh my gosh, like I'm just not that fast. I can't that fast. Respond like this, yeah, and he'll he'll catch you for sure. Yeah, yeah. But yeah, he'll see the chaos going in a room and he'll be like sitting in the corner, and whoever's sitting on the side of him has the best seat in the house.
SPEAKER_00Is that how he won you over, you think?
SPEAKER_01Yes, in some ways, for sure.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. And the basketball skills, obviously.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, he and he was just he was young and just getting to college, so he there he was just experiencing a new life. So he was hysterical. But yeah.
SPEAKER_00That's awesome. Yeah, there is a one-liner that has so he he got Robbie with one, and I I I still hear about it many years later. I guess at some point he told Robbie that he has soft features, and Robbie's like, I've never been more insulted. And he's like, It was just such a good insult because it's like you have to think about it, and he's like, So this was I think years ago, and he still talks about it all the time. I'm like, Yep, all right, that's done for you. He'll get you.
SPEAKER_01Yes, and he like manifests these things, and he just has like really good timing. It's like when you like least expect it, it comes out.
SPEAKER_00Do you feel like he goes overboard? Do you ever think like can you shut the fuck up, please, and stop being sarcastic?
SPEAKER_01Yes, it happens all the time. It happens with his parents all the time. He like pushes their buttons like constantly with like the most foolish things like you could ever think of. Yeah, like we just are probably adopting a dog pretty soon. Oh, cool. And for like no reason whatsoever, he is like peppering his mom, like just to get her anxiety up to be like, Will you come to the adoption event with us? Like, will like is this a dog you would like, you're gonna have the dog half the time?
SPEAKER_00Like, oh my goodness.
SPEAKER_01And I'm like, you have to calm down, you have to calm down, settle down, and yeah, he's just sometimes he can be a lot, and I'm just like, you like I I am very good with being like it's and it's over, right? Now we're gonna start.
SPEAKER_00Right. So I'm curious if you have the same experience that I do, because with me, Robbie's the same way. I don't know. Robbie thinks Doug is funnier, but I don't know Doug that well, obviously. Robbie cracks me up, but sometimes I'm like, Can you please? Like, I just I'm I'm I'm trying to fall asleep, or like I'm doing the dish. Can you just enough? Whenever when we were younger, I would start a conversation with him, like a you know, more serious conversation, whatever, and he would just crack a joke, and it used to piss me off. Yes, but now I've learned to just be like, ha ha ha ha. But also let's carry on the conversation, right? Do you feel the same way? Do you need to get through like layer one of jokes and then you get to the real conversation?
SPEAKER_01Yes, I I definitely do, and I do know that about Rob. I know that he can it's like his is it. Would you describe it as like it's his way of like lightening the mood? It's like he's just ready.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, he's always it's so quick, and I like I am not like I honestly I struggle with understanding jokes just in general, so a lot of times I'll see a meme and I'll be like, I know this is funny, but I don't understand it. So I have to show it to him, be like, Why? What is what does this mean? Right. And so I don't know. There's just like something that doesn't click in my head, but he's just always ready with a joke. No, and he's not emotional at all, which is good. I guess you have to be kind of less emotional to be a firefighter, but yeah, I think I think that's his way of just kind of lightning the mood to to your point, but also like eh, it's not worth stressing about. Like it really doesn't get to him. It's not like he's trying to deflect, he just is really like it doesn't stress him.
SPEAKER_01No, no, and I yeah, I agree. There's definitely like a layering there, and it it probably I haven't thought about it that way, but I think you're right. Like it probably does have something to do with their jobs, or like, no, there are like certain things that we do, right, that matter.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, and like they feed off of each other, right? Like they're cracking jokes left and right, they're making jokes about like a dead guy in the corner, which I get you have to do that, right? Because otherwise you're gonna cry yourself to sleep every night. But sometimes you're like, that's not like a normal, that's not normal. You can't just like talk that way to people, to like other humans, because it doesn't other humans don't make jokes about dead guys in the corner. Like it's I remember he told me about Pat Warren once.
SPEAKER_01So Julie's I know exactly what you're gonna say.
SPEAKER_00So Julie's was one of my first guests, right? And Pat, they were at a scene and they said something, and Pat goes, Well, she shouldn't buy any green bananas. And I was like, What does that mean? Like, I didn't get it. And he was like, as in she's not gonna live long enough for them to go yellow. And I was like, Oh my god, who says that?
SPEAKER_01I literally like think about it all the time. Like Pat made this comment like 10 years ago, and I still think about it. I think about it almost every time I look at bananas. I'm just like, oh my god. You're like, it's too green. I don't know if we'll eat it. I don't know. Should I buy them? Like, I is my health okay?
SPEAKER_00Will I make it? I don't know. Yeah, they all they all do that. I think it has to be a coping mechanism, it has to be, and they're funny, which is awesome, but like it has to be part of that. Yeah, I agree. What do you think the best part of being a firewife has been for you?
SPEAKER_01So I definitely think there's a certain amount of pride. Right. So I think that I'm very proud to be a firefighter wife. I think that there's the the positives outweigh the the challenges that can happen. They they show a fork like COVID is a perfect example, right? Like every I feel like most everyone was impacted by COVID. And Doug will tell you, he goes, My life didn't change at all. Like, yeah, I had to wear masks and like they they put in different protocols. He said, I worked twice a week at the firehouse and twice a week at the hospital.
SPEAKER_00And that's crazy. Yeah, like there was no change for him.
SPEAKER_01No, he and at least not professionally, right? Right, right, exactly, not professionally. And it's it's certainly a a different lifestyle, but it's all too in like how you kind of end up creating your your communities, right? Like we have like our native firewives, right? We have, you know, the the friends that we've met through this process. And even though you and I like don't see each other all the time, and I don't see like some of the other firewives all the time, it's like through certain parts of this process, we know exactly what we're all going through, and vice versa, right? And it's it's just such an interesting difference, I think, from like two, like uh two spouses that work a nine to five. It's it's a completely different dynamic. And I almost like don't even know what it would be like because we've never had it. Where like if we did both work nine to five, like that would be weird.
SPEAKER_00Right. Like what do we do with our time? What do we yeah? But talking to people too. Like you like, I don't miss you, you know? Yeah, it would be different. You're right. Yeah. Now you mentioned that your dad is a police officer, was a police officer.
SPEAKER_01Was yep, he's retired.
SPEAKER_00Retired now. What was that like in comparison? So it can't have been completely different, but I'm sure there were some major differences being the daughter of a of an emergency personnel versus the spouse.
SPEAKER_01For sure. And he was a police officer in Fall River, so the the true difference I feel like was like my dad was home most nights, right? And like Doug is gone twice, at least twice a week. But I always like kind of knew that he was coming home. And I wonder about that, like with the kids, like but it's all they've ever known, too. So they probably don't even like think about it, or they don't like ask questions about it. They just know if dad's not home, if dad's at Nadick, he comes home like when they're at school, like the next day, basically. But definitely different as a spouse because there's like a certain amount of like if I didn't want this to happen, I could have controlled for this not to happen, right? Like I clearly am like open to it and believe in it and you know, the all of the important work that that gets done and am willing to take on the responsibility at home, right? Because of of what their work consists of. So I feel like I I kind of remember making that decision because it it is a decision, right? Like I knew before getting into this that that that's what the likelihood was going to be. And it would be a little bit different than how I grew up. But it it had the same kind of like pride to it that that I was mentioning earlier, where like it was super annoying being a teenager and my father being a police officer because he was everywhere. Uh, but I was just like I did I don't think I understood it as much then that I was like, no, I'm like happy he's there. Like no one's gonna mess with me. Like I am like like he would tell me like not to go places and he would like know why he was telling me not to go places, I wouldn't necessarily understand that at the time. So different, but there were certainly similarities.
SPEAKER_00Right. Wow, that's super interesting. That's really interesting. Do you think that if you had told Doug Nould have changed anything? Or do you think you would no longer be married?
SPEAKER_01Probably the latter. I think he was just like all in. From by the time I met him, he he knew that it he he knew that he was going to serve and like he thought it was gonna be firefighter. And he I I think that first Halloween he was a firefighter. Another really funny thing is like we try and like thing through over the years. Doug has a family friend that he grew up with in Reading that is that lives in Natick as a resident. Okay. And his daughter, when she was, I think like six told told the father that I'm going to be Doug for Halloween. And she was, and he was like, what? I I'm going to be Doug like I'm going to be a firefight. And he's like, well, you're going to be a firefight. And she's like, no, no, no, I'm going to be a native firefight. Like I'm going to be Doug. Wow. Very good. And I was like, oh my God, Doug, you're a Halloween costume. Like, wow.
SPEAKER_00Of all the things to aspire to be. How incredible. Somebody wants to be you.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_01And I mean like an another like complete like 360 of that like situation when you think about like these little kids and like the things that they're thinking of. Henry's like friends now are like we're, you know, he's getting closer with some of his friends. And one of them just like loves Doug. He he's like all in on Duck. And the one of the the the state trooper that unfortunately passed away a couple of weeks ago now. So sad. And his father's a state trooper and he said to the mom he said how come Doug like couldn't save him? And I literally had like tears in my eyes. I'm like crying. I feel like crying right now. And you know it's like the pride comes out but then you're like so sad.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01And like she had the best answer ever where she she just responded back where she was just like if he came to Boston like Doug would have said no. It's like oh because she was thinking like as a nurse but the way that like not only like we kind of think through what their lives are like you you see it shine through in these like different ways as the kids grow up and and think about it. And it really puts it in perspective.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Like the effect he's having on these kids for them to be thinking of him in all of these situations. Like he's not only is he a role model but just as a person clearly he makes a great impact on these kids and your kids are lucky because they're going to have that as their dad well it's just amazing.
SPEAKER_01I didn't think I was going to come on the podcast to like talk up Doug. And then I'm like thinking about all these instances.
SPEAKER_00I hate to admit it I really do I really do but this podcast has made me be like oh okay all right Robbie's pretty awesome not because anybody else's husband isn't awesome but it's just you know like I am so privileged to be able to have my full-time job and I still I have like I still exercise and I still do you know and not that anybody's spouse has has not done that for them but it's just been a very good reminder for me that yeah being a firewife is hard but we have all these plus sides to it and it's it's been a nice reminder. And it's also reminds me sometimes like if he okay Robbie's the funny one I'm the sassy one right and if he tries to kind of step on my toes and sass me I don't usually take it very well you know but sometimes I have to remember like oh wait I don't know I don't know what happened yesterday at work or whatever. And I'm not I wasn't very good at that and this podcast has actually been a good reminder for me to be like okay you might just need a minute like I don't think I brought that on. That was maybe something else going on.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00At least for the first sassy comment after that it's like okay settle down.
SPEAKER_01Totally agree. Yeah yeah you kind of have to take the temperature sometimes for sure when they're like first coming in.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Does Doug talk to you about stuff at work?
SPEAKER_01He does sometimes he he definitely saves me the details which I can like appreciate. And sometimes it's delayed. Sometimes he won't talk about it right away. He'll like process it and then he'll bring it up like three or four days later or a week later and he'll just want to like say it out loud and yeah well I I don't say much I kind of just listen because I don't understand right like all of it's going through outside of the fact that like it was impactful and they see things that I don't see.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. But I mean I think that's the important part right you listen and you're there for him. I don't think you need to understand the medical piece. That's irrelevant and you know is is his fire position or his nursing position more I don't know if traumatic is the right word but like which one is harder I guess so the firehouse is just more consistent.
SPEAKER_01So and I think he he plays a role at the firehouse which I I don't like sometimes he's nurse in charge like at the Faulkner but it's not like consistent enough like he'll probably do like once a month or something. But I feel like he he's in these different committees he is you know I feel like right now is a particularly busy season he has like RTF he has the retiree breakfast sure he's gonna yeah it that's coming up it's like cool first weekends of June haven't heard about it but that's probably because Rob doesn't remember his mom about things.
SPEAKER_00No but you know we get invited to a lot of events that I never hear about and so we just don't go because I didn't know and so that's well I will send you the details on this because we will be there.
SPEAKER_01Awesome.
SPEAKER_00Sounds good firefighter memorial that's what it's called oh yeah I do know about that I didn't know what date it was but I've I've heard about that in previous years.
SPEAKER_01Yes yes that makes sense and then yeah he did like I I feel like he puts himself into the native fire department. So that's certainly kind of like top of mind and and things that he's continuing to educate himself on and push himself towards and you know figuring out where his strengths are.
SPEAKER_00Yeah that makes sense and he's captain which is pretty impressive.
SPEAKER_01Yeah what has been the hardest or worst part for you as the Fire spouse when there's like the long stretches or it's like a time where we're like we're gonna take the overtime right you play the overtime game I don't know if you play that in your house it's like certain times of the year December is usually consistent where like dad's just not coming home for like four days. Those kind of times can be hard and I think that that that is certainly where I learned from like the trial and error of like having the community because you know it's it's easier together sometimes. And what but like some of the nice things right like he especially with having young children right like I feel like as as a working mom the weekends I don't actually get anything done. I have both the kids home and like I feel bad that I have them in daycare or like that they're in school during the week and go to extended day and I'm like okay the weekends are like I need to like focus on like doing the fun things like you know and being there right and like connecting with them. But what's really nice is that he has you know his like four days off may fall like during the week like this week I think it did. And he can like do things around the house like start completing some of those checklist things. So like the flexibility is really good. And I don't know that I would be as uh what's what's a good word to put it like I don't I don't know that I would like my job as much as I do if I had like a a real amount of pressure for when I have to travel that like he you know is is in like a nine to five job or like a job that he doesn't have this like kind of blocks of time off or can't switch with people or like come in late come in early right so that is certainly certainly helpful for like my current role for sure.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. I think them having to be there for 24 hours kind of sets us up for success in that way because they have to do dishes there and clean up and cook and this and that it like trains them to live live real life in that way. Very much you know Robbie wakes up before me every once in a while and he'll do the he'll put the dishes away and like I'm what like when I wake up I need a good like a good cup of coffee and an hour to like feel like I can do anything. And he just does it like while the coffee's brewing because that's what they do at the firehouse. Like he's like yeah we just put the dishes away as soon as we get up or whatever they do you know and it it's it's nice that they do that right like it's not like I don't think he I I I can't speak for Doug but I'm sure that they don't see it as like oh that's her job.
SPEAKER_01Right. You know it's like whoever's able to does it which is I think how it is at the firehouse probably it is but I will tell you that some of Doug's like one liner jokes that he thinks is hysterical it and it's so funny coming from him because I know that that's not how he feels he doesn't believe it. No but if we're in a group of people he will say something just like that's a woman's job and he will laugh hysterically himself and I'm just like stop you like no stop people are gonna believe you the worst comment and I'm like thinking about it now that he made for me I was making a sign to go down to uh Washington DC for the first my memory is so bad. Like what with they had like the pink like hats woman's march the first woman's march and okay I cannot say that word on this okay was that was that like a current like in like current administration style it was like 2016 it was pre-kids okay okay and I think it was right maybe when Trump got elected it was like in in January and I'm sitting there like writing out this sign right and I'm like Doug do you like it and it's I'm sure it's something about like my body and like whatever and he says to me and I literally almost killed him he said to me are you sure you don't want that to say can you can you open that jar for me? Oh my God and he had that one just ready to go he he laughed so hard that he was crying okay he thought that that joke was so funny and I'm sitting there crying laughing because I am like it's funny it's hysterical but like I know you don't believe this it's offensive and rude but it's funny. Yeah and he's like Sarah I can't say that outside these walls and like the you know the the only times it like it comes up is like when we're like with his friends. So of course this is gonna like you know but we're air laundry tonight. It's fine. Uh but I just remember that being one of the moments I was just like this is 100% like something where like you have been thinking about this like it being a good meeting and you just had to nail it. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00And it was hysterical like it was I know I remember one time I was talking to Robbie and his brother and his brother's wife years ago and he said something to me about like okay now go make me a sandwich and I I literally just like looked away from him and continued the conversation like I and his brother was like like jaw drops he's like I would have gotten slapped for that one. And I'm like yeah I'm used to him like it's not I know it's not true. I know he doesn't mean it like I very much know that and it wasn't funny. So I didn't laugh but I just moved on right but yeah if somebody were to hear him say that it would it would definitely give an impression that's very different than our reality. Right right yeah yeah it's funny they're all like that though they all do that yeah okay so now I'm putting you on the spot to think of something but somebody came up with the idea or with the expression shift happens and I've loved I've loved it.
SPEAKER_01So I've been trying to do it a little segment tell me something that has happened while Doug has been at work that you're like of course this would happen while he's at work something that happened recently probably like within the last two months so as you probably have in your house as well all of the fire alarms are hardwired and they are put in at the same time and the batteries go at the same time oh good sounds like fun and there was a night that I was home with the kids and they would not stop they were like in like and like two in the morning yeah and it was like deafening in your ears. Yeah and I'm sitting there like half asleep and like jumping on like random chairs trying to like pull out you know and I like of course like I don't know it's like the way that I'm wired I'm just like okay I'm gonna like fix this and it's like I got like three minutes in and I'm like just rip it out. Like I'm gonna get it out get the hammer like I don't care what has to happen these things have to come out. Yep and like the kids are up there crying and I'm just like I'm trying my best yeah of course it happens when the firefighter is not home like of course like of course of all the things to happen and then like not only like so so the you know it all happens the adrenaline's like going through and I get them back to bed like hopefully they're like still you know upset and I get back to bed and I'm wide awake because now I'm like great none of my fire alarms are working and we're gonna have a fire tonight. And I just like didn't sleep.
SPEAKER_00So I was like I have to be awake just in case oh my god that would have been a helpful night for him to be here yeah yeah yep but also now you know how they feel when their alarms go off overnight probably why they can't sleep very well very true right that uh that is a good yeah a good reference point yeah I can follow like you know we have kids and whatever you wake up with the kids whatever I'll like I lay my head on the pillow I'm out after and he's awake for an hour even if he's not the one who got up but just like hearing that and sometimes I'm like just go to sleep but he's like I can't like once I'm up I have to be up for a while like it's just how my body is functioning now it's how it's programmed now. Completely the same with Zuck that happens. Yeah one time though our fire alarm went off Robbie was home that time and this was years ago and I guess I don't know I panicked in my sleep like I don't really remember what I what happened but I hid under him like grabbed him and like like latched my body onto him and I was like frozen I was like you know tense and couldn't let go and then it was like I don't know how many seconds probably but like however 30 seconds later he was like okay and I was like what what's happening right now like I didn't process and then he's like okay I gotta go turn off the fire alarm I was like oh okay thank you but I like held on for dear life and I don't even think I processed that it was him I was holding on to it's just like my body freaked out and I'm like yeah I don't know what happened if I was having a bad dream maybe but I'm like imagine that happened to me every time the the tones go out oh my gosh it would be awful yeah I would be so distorted like I I wouldn't like know what was going on like I don't know I know I know I'm glad I don't have to do it yeah it sucks that they do but I'm in a selfish way I'm glad I'm not the one who does it no I whenever like we meet someone new and like you know they start asking like I feel like there's like this set of questions right that get asked they're like you know how often does he work like does he sleep the there's like probably five or six questions that everyone just asks the first time that they meet you.
SPEAKER_01Yeah and what I always say as like one of my talking points is I'm just like I could never do what he does. Like and I don't want to like that that would drive me crazy. I wouldn't I wouldn't be able to function.
SPEAKER_00Yeah I'm not sure I could I I think I in I could do it if it were a day job. Yes I think it's it's the night it's the night I just can't I don't function well yeah I don't sleep well already so like let alone add that adrenaline and whatever but if it were a day job it'd be pretty cool I think you know like if I could just go sleep at home with no or if you could just like turn the tones off at night and just do it during the day and then go to bed that'd be pretty great. Someone else will get those yeah yeah it's fine. That's the next townovers problem.
SPEAKER_01Okay now what about in terms of you it's funny you say there's like this set of questions that people ask because I have a set of questions right here that I ask everybody do you have any advice that you could give if somebody if if somebody is deciding their spouse just decided I have a bachelor's and something completely unrelated but I want to become a firefighter and a nurse what advice would you give them going into this I would tell them that it's certainly a transition that they first you know whenever the the nurse injury starts there's it's gonna be bummy and that there's a lot of kind of job security right in both of those and that the tough times get easier and you know they bring on different challenges that you know hopefully you work towards together. But as long as like you're having honest conversations and you know when something doesn't work you're kind of voicing that opinion I think as long as as you still understand that you have an opinion and that that's like reciprocal I wouldn't have it any other way. I I love that that this is the world that that we've created it it works for us it works for me it works for Doug and you know I I think it's important to have you know support for that spouse too like it that no one can do it alone yeah right which goes back to the community concept right I mean it's you it's it's so much better when you have other people in it with you for sure but I like that that's really well said that you know you still have an opinion your voice still counts and yes the fire schedule can almost supersede other things sometimes but that doesn't mean that you don't count absolutely right there there are uh things that you can control and things that you can't yeah when you sign up for fire like I joke about the overtime but like that's real and that's like impactful. And if you know Doug and I like usually have that conversation right after Thanksgiving that we are like okay so December is going to be a blur because Doug is he's gonna play the overtime game. Yeah. And I have to at the end of the day be like yeah I mean these are this is like how we're gonna reach our goals and be able to have like a great Christmas and like you know it it it's give and take and kind of understanding you know when and how you're gonna get to that give and take is is important.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. How do you guys handle that? So okay December he can take all the overtime that he can get throughout the rest of the year what is your system so it's pretty cyclical.
SPEAKER_01So he'll do the overtime in like December and then mostly January and then once we get into February he starts picking up like his two shifts regularly a week at the Faulkner but you know sprinkled in there are all of the school vacations so there's like the February week you can't take time the April week and May and June are pretty normal. But then once we get to summer we and and all this time we we make a true effort that he does not schedule a hospital on the weekends which is pretty easy because he's per diem but he's only to work at like the firehouse on the weekends and he'll only do overtime if it's the night before his shift. So that's like a a weird kind of like thing that we've just like worked out with each other. And then he be he takes the this is something that he's really like enjoyed as as being part of this is that he takes the month of August off from the emergency department from being a nurse and he just works as fire shifts in August and he keeps the kids home from school and daycare. So he gets you know that time with them. And we just figure out like grandparents or babysitters or like what that looks like the days that he has a firehouse. Yeah. And then September, October, November he's just like regular at the Faulkner and then December is full on firehouse.
SPEAKER_00Yeah back at it. Wow. Yeah. Yeah. It's funny every family is so different. Definitely like it what works for you guys would not work for us and vice versa, right? Like we absolutely it's funny.
SPEAKER_01Very particular for every single person it's different.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. And that's I think an important piece of it too like partners need to come up with a system. It can't just be like oh sometimes it's okay to take overtime and sometimes it's not like there has to be some sort of rhyme or reason for it. Absolutely you know which which I think maybe took us a little bit longer to not longer but like in the beginning I would say it was almost like you know Robbie loved over before kids too he like loved overtime so much and he had he'd been working for fewer years so he wasn't quite as like experienced in maybe a little burnt out and I missed him so much when he was gone and this and that. And so now it's like okay I'm I'm I'm more comfortable with him taking it in the way of like yeah I'm too tired to miss you that much like go ahead right but because we have young kids but now it's harder for him to take it because of our kids and our responsibilities. So I I guess what I would say is just kind of going back to the advice piece one thing that people could consider is you know talking about a system for overtime because going into it you don't really think about overtime as such an important part of it.
SPEAKER_01And it will take over your life like yeah and and that's okay too there are families that are just like I'm not gonna do the second job and like I want to do the overtime and like go for it. But like there it it is it is just different and it has to work for you. And you are absolutely right there was a like pre-kids plan and there was a kids plan.
SPEAKER_00Post kids yeah for sure for sure and like kids are expensive as shit. So like you want to take the overtime so that we can pay for the camp or for the daycare like the the daycare is insane. So yeah take the overtime like I know I miss you I do miss you but like we need it and it's that's okay right right yeah right yeah what are your thoughts on their union stuff because you work in employee benefits HR stuff what are your thoughts when when Doug talks to you about like their contract stuff and union and all that so that's certainly something that my probably first experience with unions was through my dad.
SPEAKER_01So when my dad was a police officer he was president of the union for the police officer. So it was very much like in my household like I started to understand a lot more about unions. Doug's mom was one of the first nurses on the Newton Wellesley MA union. So he also has like long roots kind of in in the importance of of what that brings so he and he loves to remind me he's double union. He's like I'm not just union and natick as a nurse too all right and he will like jokingly like bring that up all the time because you know and you know right wrong or indifferent it's it's part of my job right like I'm I'm constantly being asked and you know my current job I think has over 25 different unions that we manage and you know work with on negotiations and what that benefit plans look like. But yeah it's it's very real they're they're in place for you know all the right reasons and it's it's interesting to see how it evolves over time and like the what becomes important like from different negotiation like timelines over contracts. Because you'll you'll find right these like really kind of weird rules or like aspects of it and you're kind of like how did that even come about like you know things that we don't care about now. But yeah no it's you know I wouldn't even say it's like a love hate it's just there and for me it's always been there and I I just take it with a grain of salt because you know anything that like I think of that would like negatively negatively impact a union I'm just like I think of Doug in the back of my head like I'm double union.
SPEAKER_00Double union that's true. That's true. So that's interesting because it's your job and you have to think of it as a in a professional manner. But then you're now at the receiving end as the spouse. So like if they take away their their benefits which as the professional part of you you might say yeah that makes sense to take that away but then you go home and you're like well shoot like that now we lose that benefit. That's super interesting.
SPEAKER_01It is and it is almost never like a takeaway like like there will be kind of like stripping back an onion right okay these the unions are so strong that it is very difficult to negotiate something out of a contract once it's in it. And there is always like if you are taking this you are giving me this. So it it may kind of be a little bit broader than benefits but there's if if you have a strong union which I think that that theirs is it's it's difficult to to change things over time. And I mean there there's all those kind of like like arbitration and like you know the this union I mean this contract is is going to go past its expiration right it's um it's an interesting cycle.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Do you ever think of moonlighting and solving all their problems because I bet you could do it in in a day I'm not a great negotiator.
SPEAKER_01I am like the behind the scenes person. And I only know the benefits aspect where theirs is like so much larger. But you know I definitely like whether or not Doug wants to hear my opinion on something I provide it because from an operational standpoint like I understand how it works.
SPEAKER_00Okay.
SPEAKER_01But that makes sense.
SPEAKER_00Yes. Yeah I just think it's funny because what I hear about which I'm not well versed with it, right? Like my job is completely different. There's a lot of like pissing contests involved and I just think that you know put somebody like you at the table and I think it would it would just be so much easier for them to do it. I'll mention the moonlighting to him you should I'm just saying listen he wants to take the overtime okay you could get paid to do your job. Just do this this could be my overtime yes right that's right he can't argue you let him take the overtime one more question for you.
SPEAKER_01Do you have a show or a podcast or a book or something that you just are it it has defined you like you could never live without it so I very recently started listening to Fourth Wing oh my goodness isn't that one of those like spicy I love that I listen I read I read oh what was it called Court of Court of Thorns and Roses Aquitar did you read that? No but I have heard of it do it yes I will it's on the list and I like I am not good at like well one just reading books in general okay but this one in the series in particular like got recommended for my sister-in-law for my cousin and when I got back from visiting my cousin I'm like I have to like listen to this and it's like a fantasy world with dragons and like so yeah it's great. So you listen to it even though it's spicy do you listen while you're driving or we're no well no that's like I do sometimes listen to it when I'm driving because when I have to go to Connecticut it's two hour drive so I'm just like I'll just like listen to it. It's fine. But it's it's equal spicy and equal like setting the stage for war. So it's like you don't know how to very up and down that's awesome.
SPEAKER_00That's really cool. But I love spicy I don't think I could listen to it because I just don't think I would be able to focus on driving like it just wouldn't it wouldn't work it wouldn't work like you can't I can't I can't but that's awesome. Nice I love this show called Flea Bag oh have you heard of it no do you like shows? Do you watch shows? Yeah okay this is one of my all-time favorites it's on Amazon Prime it's two seasons they're like six episodes a piece they're half an hour a piece it's you'll fly through it in like one to two days like it will not take you long. The main character is Phoebe Wallerbridge I think is her name and she she's British and she was in another show that was excellent but in a very different role and I just loved her so much that I was like oh I wonder what else she's in and I I found this show and I was like this is one of the best shows ever it's so funny. It's dry humor. I feel like actually you should watch that with Doug. No that's where my brain would appreciate it.
SPEAKER_01I was like he would love this. Yeah all right it's very dry humor Amazon Prime.
SPEAKER_00I got it Amazon Prime yeah awesome anything else that you wanted to mention or talk about anything I didn't ask that you would just love the world to know I think we we got it all yeah I think we're good do you do you feel like you have enough material? Oh yeah oh yeah this is this has been an excellent episode and I appreciate you and your genuine personality and this has been awesome.
SPEAKER_01All right awesome well thanks for doing this this is this is fun thank you so much for listening.
SPEAKER_00I hope you enjoyed being here as much as I did. If you have any questions for me or if you'd like to be interviewed please reach out at thefirewivespodcast at gmail.com you can also follow me on Instagram and Facebook. Tune in next week for the next episode of Firewives