E16 Katie

Katie Brembeck 

Bad A** SAHM

Mom of 3

Fire Wife

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:10

Hi Katie.

SPEAKER_00 0:11

Hi.

SPEAKER_01 0:12

How are you?

SPEAKER_00 0:13

Good, how are you? Good.

SPEAKER_01 0:14

Nice to meet you. How are things?

SPEAKER_00 0:15

It's nice to meet you too. Good. We are getting over a cold in our house, so you know, less never colds.

SPEAKER_01 0:20

But um, seriously.

SPEAKER_00 0:21

Aside from that, doing well, really enjoying the summer. And we have a pool near us that's super great for the little little ones. So that's great. That's wonderful. Who's that behind you? My dog. That's Bentley. Bentley. I have two dogs, I can get it.

SPEAKER_01 0:33

Hold on three.

SPEAKER_00 0:34

Oh gosh, we got him in 2021. So I think he's like almost five now. Oh wow. Nice. He's getting the pets. We have 10 quail and 13 chickens. Oh wow. Okay. And then I used to have a horse. Um, I still work with them, but we had to put him down in March of last year. So I'm so sorry. Yeah. Yeah. But we love our animals here. Well, tell me a little bit about yourself. Yeah. So I'm from the central Ohio area and I'm a stay-at-home mom to three little boys, and they're all very close to name, so they keep me very busy. And so my husband works for two different departments, so we're kind of like learning the full-time, part-time balance right now. But when he's home, we do a lot of outdoor stuff. Um, like I said, we have chickens, so we're like kind of doing the homestead type deal in the neighborhood, so you know as much as you can. Um and then um, like I said, I also work with the horses. So yeah. That's great. Wow. What do you have with the animals? I've always, I mean, I've always loved them and I've always been around them. Um the horses actually, I have a friend growing up who had horses, and so I would go over and we'd ride and like follow none of the safety rules, you know. But that kind of blossomed my love for horses. And so when I was seven or eight, my dad found a local barn and asked about how I could get involved out there. And so that started a journey of me working in exchange to ride to like cleaning stalls, stuff like that. Um, and then for my eighth birthday, my parents got me a week of camp at a horse camp near us, which I ended up going to for eight years and then worked on staff for four. Um, it's actually where my where I met my husband too. And so it's just been like part of life since then. And we've always had a dog and we've always had animals. The chickens and the quail are new. Um, but all in all, like I cannot imagine a life without them.

SPEAKER_01 2:00

So yeah, wow, wow. That's a lot of animals. I have two, and I think that's plenty. We must have so many eggs all the time.

SPEAKER_00 2:06

We so the chickens are still not quite at laying age yet, but I'm sure we'll be overwhelmed with eggs by then. But the coil we get about 10 eggs a day. So, like, yeah, we're getting a lot. Wow.

SPEAKER_01 2:14

A lot. I don't think from a track, you can eat quail eggs, right? I've never tried one. Do they taste similar?

SPEAKER_00 2:18

They're pretty good. They're like so three quail eggs per one chicken egg, but they're like creamier and I feel like almost have a fuller taste. There's I feel like much better in baking than chicken eggs personally. Um but we've like we're waiting for the chickens to lay eggs, obviously. But since we've been waiting, we've only been using quail eggs for everything. And I mean, they have like higher protein per size, if that makes sense. Yeah. And I feel like our family really enjoys them. They're also really good for people with like chicken egg allergies because you can eat those instead. But I think I feel like by and large there's not a huge difference except for the fact that they're tiny.

SPEAKER_01 2:45

Wow, that's super interesting. I've seen them at the stores. Like I was I've lived in Amherst for a while and they used to sell them there. Feel like top and chop probably doesn't, or I just don't see it. Um but I've never tried them. I'll should try them sometimes. Yeah, they're pretty good. I like to bake too, so that's a good that's a good suggestion. I'll try that.

SPEAKER_00 2:57

Yeah, they've they I feel like they make the cookies that I've made and stuff like that just make the flavor pot more. Like I don't know how to explain it, but they definitely are much better, in my opinion. Yeah, I'll have to try it. That's great. So you said you have three boys. How old are they? My oldest is almost three and a half, and then uh my middle is almost two and a half, they're 13 months apart, and then my youngest is four months old.

SPEAKER_01 3:16

Well, oh my gosh, you were postpartum, my friend.

unknown 3:19

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 3:19

Congratulations, how are you feeling? Thank you.

SPEAKER_00 3:21

This is the best postpartum by far. I definitely struggle with postpartum mental stuff with both of the boys, whether it be postpartum depression or postpartum anxiety. So this time around, like I feel like we're doing a lot better. Definitely tired adjusting to you know life with three, but all in all, this has been a really great postpartum season.

SPEAKER_01 3:35

Do you think it's because you're more aware or do you think it was just different hormonally this time?

SPEAKER_00 3:39

I think there were a whole lot of factors playing into it. When I had my first, my husband actually started fire school a week after he was born.

unknown 3:44

Great.

SPEAKER_00 3:45

Yeah. So there was a lot of that, and so and I had postpartum um depression with him, and I feel like a lot of it was due to just like not taking my care of myself very well. I definitely dove down the crunchy hole with my first um and I would consider myself scrunchy now. Like I am definitely more aware of ingredients and stuff, but like I'm still gonna get Chip-A. Um and balance, right? Absolutely. Exactly. And so I really like started taking care of myself a lot more, like that postpartum period when I got pregnant with my second, because I was only four months postpartum when I got pregnant with my second. But I do think a lot of like just the busyness of that change in life, because my husband was actually um chemical engineering student at OSU and was only a year away from getting his degree when he decided to switch careers. So that was just a crazy life change. And then postpartum with my second made to move into my parents' house when he was four months old. So like just not having our own space was really rough. So this time around, I was one aware of the fact that I had a lot of, I had, I was like predisposed to the postpartum stuff. So my midwife was really great about helping me support my body in preparation for that. But we also praise the Lord got our own house when I was 36 weeks pregnant. So we've been able to be in our own space, and I feel like that's made a huge difference that we finally have a safe space and I can kick the boys outside if I want to. And so I feel like there's been a lot of factors, but I'm definitely thankful that this time's been so much better.

SPEAKER_01 4:47

Yeah, that's great. I'm happy for you. You made a lot of big changes in a short amount of time. Like they're young and you've done a lot.

SPEAKER_00 4:53

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_01 4:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 4:54

We definitely did not choose the easy path. That's for sure. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 4:57

So you said you met your husband while working with animals?

SPEAKER_00 4:59

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 5:00

Great. And and what were you doing? How did you guys meet?

SPEAKER_00 5:02

So that horse camp that my parents bought me a week of care for, it's a Christian horse camp. And I went one week every summer from the time I was eight to the time I was fifteen. And he happened to be there the same week each year. So we like crossed paths the first time when we were 12 years old and had like little camp crushes on each other. But you know, like camp was about Jesus and horses, not about boys. And also, you know, we only saw each other that one week a year, and yeah, so there was really no step, no reason for me in my head to like do anything about it, plus I was 12. Like right. But we kept crossing paths each year, and then when we were both 16, we actually joined staff on camp at camp. Um, and that was a unique experience for us just because you could be a camper until you were 17. So we were younger than some of our campers, and we were the only 16-year-olds on staff, and we just like clicked instantly. Like, and it for me it was like, oh crap, this is the kid that I've had a camp crush on forever. And I don't think he realized who I was at first. But so we became really close during that summer because like it's two weeks of training and eight weeks of camp, so it's kind of really hard to like put up a mask for that long when you're going through all of the experiences that you do at camp. I mean, it's a wonderful blessing, but like also, you know, dealing with you have 10 kids in your cabin and you're teaching writing lessons and you're doing all the things, and it's like Sunday to Friday each week. So you're like, it's a lot, and so I think that that was really great for a relationship, actually, because we just didn't have a chance to like hide anything, if that makes sense. And so we got really close, both denied that we had any feelings for each other, but we continued to keep in contact outside of camp, and he lived an hour and a half from where I was. So we would go on I would call it dates now, but at the time we were just hanging out. Um, and like he came out on a mission trip to India and he came back um came over to my house after to help me with my jet lag again, you know. All of it looking back on it was clearly interesting.

SPEAKER_01 6:31

How does one help another person with jet lag?

SPEAKER_00 6:33

Well, it was a nine and a half hour time difference, and so like when I got back, it would have been like 7 p.m. India time, and so the goal was to keep me awake all day. So that was that was the help. Um but then in so that was 2018 and camp ended in August of 2018. So in January of 2019, we finally admitted to each other that we liked each other. Um, but we had really both wanted to make sure that like marriage was something we could see for ourselves, like, because we were both really raised with the ideal that like you're gonna date to marry, not just date to date. And so we spent two months, months just really like ran on it talking about it. And then in March of 2019, he asked me out. So then we ended up going to camp again the next summer and being on staff there again. And then he there was another summer after that 2020 that he did not work on staff I did, but like now that the farm, it's called Marvin Valley Farm. It's like so intertwined in our lives, like we can thank pretty much everything for the farm. Like he he proposed there, we had a wedding there, so it's it was it was a really cool story.

SPEAKER_01 7:24

Yeah, that must be really nice to have gotten married where everything kind of started for you.

SPEAKER_00 7:27

Yeah, it was really me, and all of the staff at the farm has become family, so they were all there too, which was really cool.

SPEAKER_01 7:30

That's so nice. Wow. Yeah. How big was your wedding?

SPEAKER_00 7:33

Way bigger than we wanted it to be. We had like 150 people. Um, I think my husband and I both would have preferred a much, much smaller ceremony, but we got married at 19, so my parents were paying for the wedding, so we were kind of at the wedding with who they wanted to invite. And it was a beautiful day, but I am one of those people where I get very overwhelmed with lots of people. And so I kind of kept myself the whole time. But it was nice. I mean, we had a short ceremony, and um, I don't know if you've had Lee's chicken, but that's what we had for dinner. Um really good friend chicken. And then we did a barn dance instead of like regular dancing, which was a lot of fun.

SPEAKER_01 7:59

Oh, cool. That's good. That's wonderful. That sounds like a really nice wedding. Yeah, it was fun. So you said he almost graduated college. Did you know that he was thinking about becoming a firefighter?

SPEAKER_00 8:09

So from the time that I met him until the time that he told me that he wanted to be a firefighter, he was on the path to do mechanical engineering in the Air Force. And that was, I think, largely like imprinted on him by his parents. Um, his mom was an air aeronautical space engineer in the Air Force. Yeah, like super smart. And his dad did like worked with the bombs or something, I don't remember, but there was in the Air Force. And so um, he has two older siblings, and neither of them went down the engineer route, so it was kind of a lot of pressure for him to do it. But I also knew when I met him that that was just not where he was gonna stay. I didn't know what he was gonna do, but I was like, I just cannot see him at a desk job. This is not him. So he had been going through the mechanical engineering school, like I said, for three years when he decided that he wanted to do the firefighting, and it kind of came out of nowhere. Um, like now that he's in it, it's like absolutely this is where God has placed you, this is what you're supposed to be doing. Um, but at the time it was like, wow, I can't believe that was even on your radar. But it also felt like as soon as he told me, like, this is the right place for you. So he was supposed to go to school, like start his fourth year at OSU that August. And that's like he decided like the week before classes started. So he ended up calling OSU saying, Hey, I'm out, like not coming, and signed up for the fire program that started in January. So he had like four months off of schooling before he started that. And yeah, like I said, he started school and I was a week postpartum, so that was a lack. But it was it was definitely the right choice.

unknown 9:21

Okay, good.

SPEAKER_00 9:22

Yeah. So what about you? Did you go to college? I uh went to college for a little bit. I went to a Christian university in the middle of nowhere for a worship degree and ended up dropping out right when COVID hit. It was just a very toxic experience, unfortunately. So uh in the worship department specifically, it was very I don't want to say legalistic because I was kind of the whole school, but it was like if you haven't had so many years of lessons or experience or whatever, you're not gonna make it. And like I was a vocal primary and a piano secondary, but I was self-taught in the piano, so I got a lot of flack for not doing like piano lessons growing up. And like I auditioned for the worship team, they have a touring worship team and was told that I don't have the right look for it. Just a lot of a lot of really not great things. And the school itself like has some really good foundations, but they're very much on the legalistic side of like, if you don't read your Bible every day, if you don't do this, if you don't do that, then you're not like a real Christian. And it there was just a really, yeah, really bad environment. Um, so I ended up dropping out of that again going to community college for interpreting for ASL.

SPEAKER_01 10:16

That's so cool.

SPEAKER_00 10:17

It was it was fun. I didn't end up finishing that though either because we were in the middle of COVID and learning ASL over Zoom is a nightmare. My my mom went to school for interpreting, and so I grew up with ASL and I knew a lot of it, but it was just I think that when the kids are older, I might go back and do that because it's such a it's such a beautiful language and such a cool community. But it was just a really like really tough to learn in a Zoom setting, especially because like when you're learning the language, you want to be surrounded by it, and like none of the deaf community events were happening, none of like there was no opportunity just to be around deaf people and practice sign because the world was shut down. Um so after that, I ended up doing horseback riding instruction full-time until I got pregnant with my first. And so that was like, I think four years of teaching. And I really loved that, and eventually I want to get back to that. But um, ever since then I've just been a stay at home mom and I love it.

SPEAKER_01 11:00

That's wonderful. You probably have so much amazing time with your kids and time that's really invaluable, like they're never gonna get that back. Right. And and you're not gonna get that back. They won't care, but you're these are your kids that you want to have the memories with, right?

SPEAKER_02 11:10

Yeah, it's been a huge blessing.

SPEAKER_01 11:11

That's great, mapping for you. Do you still have time to yourself? Do you still do something on the side that's for you?

SPEAKER_00 11:15

I do. My husband's really good about making sure that I get send me time. Um, and most of that is me going to the barn and riding. Like I said, we had off-the-track thoroughbred, and he was amazing. He was a challenge, but like definitely my heart horse, and he ended up getting a traumatic brain injury in March of last year, which I mean I've been around horses my whole life, but I didn't ever consider that horses could get TBIs. Yeah. Um I would never have done that. Right. And so we kind of had to put him down pretty unexpectedly, but thankfully the barn manager and barn owner allowed me to continue to just work and stay riding whatever horses are there. So that's usually my free time. But I've been um really passionate lately about just like building community because I feel like people are really bad at that, whether it be like community with other moms or just women in general. So recently I've been putting together like little ladies' nights for people to come over. We did a farmer's market one and we like decorated market bags, and then everybody brought homemade items and we got to shop with more kids, so that was fun. Um that's a cute idea. I like that. Yeah, especially like a homestead, you probably have a lot of stuff you could bring to that. Yeah, it was really cool. I mean, we had everything from like pot holders to homemade butter to eggs to skincare. It was really neat, really nice.

SPEAKER_01 12:10

Very cool.

SPEAKER_00 12:10

Yeah, it's great.

SPEAKER_01 12:11

Wow. Now you mentioned that, you know, you knew your husband wasn't gonna be an engineer. Didn't expect the firefighting thing. How did that particularly with you being a weak postpartum? How did you feel about that decision that he made?

SPEAKER_00 12:22

I think because he had technically decided while I was still pregnant, like I think I was like 20 pregnant when he had decided, I was okay with it. Like I like I said, I knew that he wasn't gonna be in the mechanical engineering, and I had always just prayed, like, okay, whatever he's supposed to do, Lord, like just make it real clear, because he had so much pressure, like I said, from his family, and he was actually terrified to tell his family that he chose firefighting. Um they're super supportive now, but it was a scary conversation to have.

SPEAKER_01 12:49

But I'm sure it was just a direct conversation.

SPEAKER_00 12:51

It was. Well, and it's so it's he's a first generation firefighter, like it was very foreign to them. And so for me, it was just like, okay, well, if this is what you want to do and you feel like this is what the Lord's calling you to do, let's figure out how to do it. And I will say, like, being a weak post-part and him going to class, that was difficult. But there was never a question that this was what he was supposed to do. And so I was very excited to be able to help him figure that out. And in Columbus area, you basically either have to decide between being a Columbus firefighter or doing a township. And so Columbus has the fire academy, it's the Ohio Fire Academy, but they only open up registration for two years. And then if you get in, you have to live there for the time being that you do your schooling. Now it is shorter schooling, they combine the firecards and the EMT, but it's like eight weeks of like nine to six of them living there. And so we were like, that's not something that we want to do because we know we're about to have this baby, like who knows what that's gonna look like. And so, and you know, you're not guaranteed to get in, even if you take the civil service test and all the things, like there's no promise that you're gonna get in there. You're put into a lottery and then you just hope that they pull your number for that year. But we have several post-secondary schools that do fire, and so that was the route that he went down, and so he did a semester of fire one, a semester of fire two, and a semester of EMT. So he started schooling in like January of 23 and graduated in May of 24. And that was really great because class was like two days a week. He was able to come home, he got a lot of connections with like local departments, and so by the time he graduated, it was very like he got his first job prior to even passing the NREMT. So that was really great. But all that to say, like, I don't think there was never a doubt in my mind that that was where he was supposed to go. And so it was like really cool to be able to see him finally see stuff, like find something that he was super passionate about because he could tell that the mechanical engineering just was not it for him. And he I feel he really blessed him once he started that schooling.

SPEAKER_01 14:29

Was it what you expected it to be now that he's been doing it? And he's on two departments, so he must work a ton.

SPEAKER_00 14:33

Yeah, I don't really know that I had a whole lot of expectations. I mean, like truly the only like the only exposure to the fire department that I'd ever had was not actual real exposure because it's just off a silly TV shows, you know, that don't actually not really do anything. And so the only the only expectation that I really had was like hoping to find a good like family within the fire department. But aside from that, it was just kind of like all right, we're gonna roll with the punches and see how this goes. Thankfully, his schedule, so he works full-time at department, which is the 2448. But then his part-time department right now, he's only working PMs on six days, so it's not terrible. Like he'll come home from work, have the day off, and then go work at like 7 p.m. and then be home the next morning. And he does that every six days, and then there are some nights where he is home. But it's nice because like the baby's sleep, all I have to worry about is getting through the night and then he's back home. And eventually he's going to go back to the part-time department to do six days for 24 hour shifts too. But he's actually about to start paramedic school, so he's trying to figure out his schedule leading up to that.

SPEAKER_01 15:25

Yeah, that's a very demanding program, at least here in Massachusetts.

SPEAKER_00 15:29

Yeah, I'm it's a 13-month program here, and it leaves on unit days, which is I'm grateful for. So he doesn't have to worry about like really changing up his work schedule. Oh, no. But it's gonna be a lot.

SPEAKER_01 15:37

Yeah, that's great. Yeah. Yeah. I think most of the programs that are around here are I mean, back when my husband was in paramedic school, I think it was about two years. Oh wow. Um, but he did medical school before he started at the fire department. So I don't know how it would work if you're on the department, but he was hired as a paramedic and a firefighter. But some some firefighters will be hired knowing that you have to finish paramedic school within a certain amount of time. Yeah. But for him, he already was. So I'm not sure how it would work.

SPEAKER_00 15:59

A lot of the township departments around here will hire you part-time as an EMT. It's just hard like to find a place that'll hire you full-time as an EMT. So that's how his full-time position works. That he has 36 months from the time of being hired full-time to get his medic card.

SPEAKER_01 16:11

Mm-hmm. Yeah. So I think it's something similar here. You know, if you're hired as a firefighter paramedic, but you're not a medic yet, you'd have to go to school within a certain like within two years or three years or something like that. Yeah, makes sense.

unknown 16:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 16:20

What about you? Do you think you have ideas or plans after the kids are a little bit older and in school? What do you think your path would be?

SPEAKER_00 16:26

Um so I do plan on homeschooling the kids, but I would like down the road to start teaching lessons again, um, which actually might be happening sooner than I thought because there's some changes happening in Aborne. But I really I just love teaching. I never wanted to be a teacher. I don't want to I don't enjoy teaching in the classroom setting, but I've done the horseback riding instruction for for gosh, at least 10 years now. And I've always loved it. But I also grew up doing a lot of music. I was in band and orchestra and all the things, and so I think it'd be really great um when they're older to do like some sort of community orchestra or community band, because I do really miss playing in a group setting. So those are like the two things that I think I'd really want to do. I don't ever see myself going back to work unless it's like a major necessity. But the nice thing about the horseback riding is that it is, it does pay. And I also do photography like part-time. I've never really done it full-time, but I've done weddings and stuff like that. And so I'd probably up my availability on that too. Yeah, did you teach yourself or did you take a course? I mostly taught myself. I did take one photography class in co-op when I was like 13. Um, but for the most part, it was just teaching myself. So and I've done that since I was like 12. I made it a business when I was around 16 and have really enjoyed that. And I still do it here and there, but you know, three kids and the youngest being four months old, it's kind of hard to find the time.

SPEAKER_01 17:28

Yeah, how are you gonna photograph a wedding while you're also being like, hold on, I'm just gonna pop them on the boot for a quick second. That's really tricky. That's hard.

SPEAKER_00 17:34

Yeah, I have become a master at finding the right time to go sneak away and pump, but it's still difficult.

SPEAKER_01 17:39

It's demanding for sure.

SPEAKER_00 17:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 17:40

Wow. In your experience so far, what has been the best part of being a firewave?

SPEAKER_00 17:45

Honestly, for me, it's just been seeing my husband like flourish in something. We have had such a unique experience, I feel like, in the fire department between him not being a firefighter when I got married and like going through the schooling later in life. And also, he's we're 24 and he is one of the oldest people in both of his departments, which is like wild. Yeah. And so, like, there really isn't as much community as I had hoped because everybody's so young and there's not a whole lot of like firewives or anything because you know they're a bunch of 18-year-olds. Um that's crazy. Like, who's training them? Who's showing them the ropes? They there are some, so his part-time department, his chief is also a captain at the city department near us, and so he's got a lot of really good experience. He's been great, but like their assistant chief is 27. Yeah, it's kind of crazy. So that the part-time department is where my husband started, and he like probably two months in got put in IC positions because it's just so small. And so they had a really big emphasis on training, though. Like they'll send them to different conferences and stuff, which was really nice for him. And then at the full-time department, they have like most of their command staff. I say most, there's like three command staff, um, but most of their command staff is older and has been in the department for a long time. But at this point, they've poured so much into like Seth and a couple of the other older guys that like my husband, my husband's stuff, uh, does most of the training at this point. And so, and he's only been in the fire service for like two years.

SPEAKER_01 18:56

And so insane.

SPEAKER_00 18:58

Yeah, he is it's very accelerated just because it has to be because they're both more rural departments, and there's such a wide scope of what they do. Like at his part-time department, it's almost entirely rural. But you have things like water rescue, but then there's also like the silo rescues, and then like we have some Amish in our area, so there have been MVAs with Amish. Like they just that's interesting. Yeah, and then they also they're close enough to the city that they have some city things, so there will be I mean we don't have any real high-rise fires, but there will be bigger fires. But then at his full-time department, it's near a pretty popular lake. So like they have to know ice rescue because in the winter people go ice fishing, and then but they also have a ladder because we've got these like multi-million dollar homes out there. So I mean it's a lot like that they have to know, but because it's more rural and because they're the first on scene for maybe 10-15 minutes of time, they have to know pretty much everything. So both stations at this point he rides in charge on his shifts.

SPEAKER_01 19:41

Um it's different than I guess a bigger department because a bigger department would have, I guess, more specialized trucks, more specialized, maybe, maybe more specialized staff, right? Like people who are trained to do the water rescue, people who are not. I I would think, I'm not sure. But does that make you feel unsafe in any way, knowing that you have a bunch of 18-year-olds coming to safety?

SPEAKER_00 19:58

I I know that everybody is really good at what they do, okay? And I've I'm not close, but like I know most of the guys pretty well. So there is a part of me that's like, I know the shenanigans that happen at the station and I'm like, man, I don't know that I'd ever want you to come to my scene. However, they are all very good at their jobs and they're they're able to like flip that switch, you know. So for me, it's not even like an unsafe thing, it's just that I know so many people in the department that I would feel weird about calling 911. Because even though like our home would be served by the city department, pretty much everybody that works at the part-time department also works at the city department. So, like, if I like I could tell you who was gonna respond to my house on which day. And so I'm like, I just pray that I never have an embarrassing emergency because nothing never happens when you're in the shower, right?

SPEAKER_01 20:39

That's fine. I guess that's one of the things to consider if you're living near your fire department, right? Like we live too far for that, so it would be people that I don't know. That's good. Yeah, good enough, right? Like it's good to know that you can trust the people who are in the department, but also good to not be thinking, like, hey, I'm gonna see you at the Christmas party, and you just saw me, you know, flipping in the shower or something, right?

SPEAKER_00 20:56

So yeah. Well, I already I did already have one embarrassing experience with this part-time department. I had dropped, I don't know if you've ever seen those like big glasses of lemon juice, um, but I had dropped one on my toe. And my husband was on shift. And at the time we were still living with my parents, so we were like 40 minutes from his department, but I had the kids by myself. I was like, I'm not gonna go to urgent care, and I really probably don't need a whole lot of care, but it's fine. So I drove to the fire department. Um, and I have pots, so like the whole time my blood pressure is like all over the place. I'm like, don't pass out, just make it to fire from it, it's fine. And when I got there, I did almost pass out because my pot so I was like laying down on the pad and they came over and checked, and his chief was there, which made it 10 times more embarrassing. And he was like, Yeah, we're gonna have to transport you. And I was like, I cannot believe that I just drove 40 minutes and then have to transport me to the hospital. Well, and like they told me they had a call once of a lady stepped her toe and called 901. And I was like, I'm not gonna be that person. Yeah, I'm not gonna use valuable resources. Um, and so I was like, That's my one embarrassing call. We'll keep it at that.

SPEAKER_01 21:45

Yeah, but it's not that bad. It could have been much worse.

SPEAKER_00 21:47

But it's true. So did you get the bunch of stitches or what happened? Yeah, I um had an open fracture actually. So they had to yeah, I like completely broke the tip of my toe off. The like edge of the bottle hit it just right that it like hit the nailband. And I so I didn't have to get stitches, and thank goodness. So my husband was on shift, but his chief let him take me home and like my boys were with him. So my boy stayed at the station with my husband while I was at the hospital. And then while on shift, my husband picked me up, took me home, and went back. And his chief was like, Yeah, no, we got it covered, like didn't dock his pair and that was really great. Yeah. So you made the right call. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 22:19

I know.

SPEAKER_00 22:20

Well, that's why it was embarrassing. I was like, seriously, of all the ways. Yeah. What do you think the hardest or worst part has been for you so far? I think honestly, the hardest part for me has been the lack of community that we found, which is a real bummer because you hear about all of the firewives all the time, like really getting close. I went to a firewave conference in September of last year and was met with a lot of negativity. I just didn't really the the conference, the conference started, so it was a training conference for the firefighters, and then they had like get together for the women, and it was supposed to be like, How do we support each other in the fire service? Whatever. Well, the first question that they asked was, What was your what's your least favorite thing about fire service? Like it was just a very negative start, and then the whole thing turned into women complaining about their husbands, complaining about jobs and everything. And it was a real bummer because, like, while yes, there are hard parts to the job, absolutely. Like for me, I have like never been prouder of my husband, and I love the schedule. Like, sure, forced overtime kind of sucks sometimes, but also for the most part, he's home 48 hours at a time. He's home way more than he would be if it was a nine to five. And like he gets to be involved with the kids, and I get to take them to the fire station. And so that was just a real big bummer to me because I was still relatively new to the fire service at that point, and they all kind of just told me, like, just you wait, it'll get worse. And so I was like, Well, I don't really want to be around an environment that like fastes our husbands. And so those were that was like several local departments, like nobody specifically from his departments, but I have since then found a couple like friends that are in the fire service, and it's really nice, you know, things like when you're scheduling something saying, I'm up in this unit date instead of having to explain the 24, 48 schedule and stuff like that. But like I said, most of the departments are just so young, and so that has been kind of tough because like that was something that I was really looking forward to as he went into the fire service, and we're trying, like, we've decided that we're gonna try and build that community. So at his full-time station, we do Saturday pizza, Saturday shifts, pizza nights, and so we'll invite everybody because there's three stations at the full-time department, so they'll all come to one station and no other families have come yet. However, it has built a lot of camaraderie between the different between the different stations, which is good. And like we're hosting a cookout on Thursday of this week for his part-time department. So this it's definitely been tough, you know, just because I had that expectation of this is what's gonna be here, but you know, also it's like, well, if it's not, then I'm gonna I'm gonna create it.

SPEAKER_01 24:20

So yeah, I I wonder if maybe you're just a little ahead of the game, right? Like most people don't get married at 19. And while that's wonderful for you guys, maybe in 10 years you're gonna be the experienced firewife and you're gonna have all these new people coming into it. And for sure to you for advice and like how did you deal with it with young kids and how did you build the community? Yeah. So I mean, good for you for continuing to want to do it. It'll be very easy to give up and say, Well, I tried, and like what am I supposed to do about, right? But I think you should keep trying. I think that's that's fantastic that you're doing that. Well, thank you. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. It's tough though. I I hear what you're saying because you have young kids, and now would have been a great time for you to have that.

SPEAKER_00 24:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 24:51

But the flip side of that is as you get older, being a young mom, when your kids are a little bit older, you're gonna have the time to hang out with your friends, right? Right. You know, and I speak from being on the flip side of that. Like I didn't have kids that young. My first daughter, I my first daughter, I have two kids. My daughter, I was turning 31, right? So ancient in terms of parenthood. And so now I have young kids, so I don't really have the time to go hang with my friends.

SPEAKER_02 25:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 25:13

But a lot of our friends who had kids younger are now, you know, pre and can go do what they want. So there's ups and downs to both. But definitely. I bet you in in a few years you're gonna be looking back and being like, okay, now I have time, now I can do all that.

SPEAKER_00 25:21

I sure hope so.

SPEAKER_01 25:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 25:23

I I think it's been really cool though, like, despite not necessarily having the women, you know, in the community, like because we're at the station a lot, like the guys will hang out with the boys, you know, and play with them when you're there. So it's kind of nice because then it's like, you know, I can just go to the station and have an hour just to sit and I've got built-in babysitters. So that's been kind of fun.

SPEAKER_01 25:39

That's actually that's a really good point. You can at least sit and like relax, even if you can't leave them. Right. But you can at least take a break. That's that's really nice. I like this. Now, moving forward, I guess you already kind of mentioned the this little segment, I guess, that I've been doing called Shift Happens, where you, you know, got an open fracture in your toe while your husband's at the fire department. Any other things that you can think of any funny stories or maybe not so funny stories of things that happened while your husband's at work, of course, it couldn't have happened on the day that he was home.

SPEAKER_00 26:02

Right. I nothing really actually that's not true. I was gonna say nothing really literally ever. Nobody says that. They're like, no, nothing actually. There are 10 stories that popped to my mind right now. Well, I was gonna say, usually it's just like, you know, the boys are more chaotic because they're better behaved with dad, you know. And we've had things like my two oldest boys share a room and they've locked themselves in the room before and stripped naked and then like just destroyed the room. And I've had boys, I've had to like take the doorknob off. But I would say actually the biggest um shift happens was I went into labor when my husband was on shift.

SPEAKER_01 26:31

And Are you kidding?

SPEAKER_00 26:33

I am not. I so I do home birth and my first two were like pretty long laborers. My first is 26 hours, and my second was 13 and a half. So I I mean like when baby decides they're coming, then it switches really fast and baby comes. Okay, but usually I've got a long buildup before that, and I had dealt with prodermal labor for like two weeks beforehand. So every time I moved, I had a contraction that felt like it was real. And so there were a couple times where he asked off work because he thought that I was in labor, and then I felt bad because that I wasn't, you know. And so he went to a PM shift at his part-time station, which is only 16 minutes away. Um, and I had been having the prodermal labor, and I went to bed and I felt like the contraction is coming a bit more consistently, but didn't believe it because I had had the pedromal labor for so long. But once I realized that they were getting consistent and that this was real, I called him, which thank God he answered because a lot of times he doesn't answer when he's at work because he's busy. And I told him I was looking pretty sure this is real. And he thought, because my contractions were still like 10 minutes apart, he's like, Oh, I've got time, I can make my bed and pack my stuff up and say bye to my friends and yada.

SPEAKER_02 27:25

Oh no.

SPEAKER_00 27:27

Yeah, so about 45 minutes after that phone call, when he should have been home at that point, my contractions were every three minutes apart. And so I'm like calling him, where are you? You need to get home. Thank goodness my mom was there because she had been staying the night just in case, like on days that he worked, just in case, so she could take the older boys. And so she was there and was able to get boys up. But by the time he got there, he got there at 12 30 a.m. I gave birth at 1 30 a.m. Wow. Yeah, so that was probably the craziest thing that's happened on shift, and his chief still gives him crap about the fact that he was like just taking his time. Oh, like take your time, have a cup of coffee, hang on. Your wife is pushing your baby out, like please. It all happened so fast that time around that my midwife almost didn't make it. Like, which was just so shocking for all of us because the last two labors were longer, but I guess third kid, you don't have to expect it to be ass.

SPEAKER_01 28:09

So my husband is medic, as I mentioned, and he during medic school had to deliver babies as part of your training. And so he had to do a bunch in the hospital setting while training, and then after that, you know, whatever happens at work, happens at work, and he always does so he's delivered, I think twelve or twelve or thirteen babies or something. And he always says, you know, it's always the one, it's the third kid. It happens super quick. You end up having your baby in your kitchen. That's always the one that happens at home, right? Because it's they just come right out. So I'm not surprised to hear that. I'm glad that he made it.

SPEAKER_00 28:33

I am too. I am really glad that he made it. Yeah, wow. I he almost didn't have time to get out of his uniform before the goodness, that's crazy. Well, all the stuff happens when they're gone. I mean always, right? It's so nuts. Yeah. I wanted to- I'm just curious, what has made you decide to homeschool your kids? I mean, if I'm being frank, I just don't press the public school system. Like we are very big on our faith, and like, you know, obviously it's our kids' choice if they want to follow the Lord or not, but but we want to teach them what we believe. And there's just a lot of indoctrination, I feel like, in a schooling system, whether it be, you know, for all of the like pride stuff and whatever, and there's nothing like I'm not here to judge. Like that is people's choice, but I want my kids to form their own beliefs rather than than you know being pushed one way or another. And even when it comes to like sharing your faith with them, like we're gonna make it very clear. Like, they're still young right now, obviously. But as they're able to form their own opinions, we're gonna make it very clear, like, we want you to make this choice. This is why it's important to us, but ultimately, like, you are your own individual, you need to make the decision. I also just feel like the public school system in general does not teach life skills anymore. Um, I I mean, at least around here, like even things like cursive, like kids don't know how to do it. I have a 10-year-old nephew and he like doesn't know how to read an analog clock, and it's just stuff that's like, I feel like we should be teaching our kids these things. So, like, we'll do probably the co-op tech deal too, where they go on so we can get taught by somebody else. But I just feel like it's important, like, you know, as a mom to protect them from whatever happens in the public school system, whether it be even just being surrounded by the wrong people, you know, because obviously I can't stop them, stop bad things from happening to them, but I can protect them as much as I can. But also giving them the opportunity, like we have this unique opportunity for stuff to be able to school them too, you know, and like have dad home and do all the trips and stuff. And so really, you know, it boils down to also just having them home and being able to have that family aspect because it's so so important to us. So, and our boys are like delayed on some things, but like very quick learners on other aspects. And I was kind of like that. I was in the gifted, gifted program, which really just means that you have ADHD and you're not diagnosed. But I struggled with that where like I had some things where I picked up really fast and I had other things where I really just could not get it, but like it was so hard for me to be able to actually learn in my learning style. And so, at least for the elementary years, like we want to be able to cater to their learning style, and then as they get older, you know, if they decide that they want to go to public school, then we'll have that conversation. Like, I'm not necessarily opposed to that, but you know, these years when they're younger are so formative, and so we just want to make sure they've got a good foundation.

SPEAKER_01 30:44

Yeah. That's super interesting. I with only respect, I wonder, do you think that your thought process of like we don't want people telling them what to think and indoctrinating them, right? But if they're not being exposed to it because you are at home not showing them those things in in in hopes of protecting them, like I recognize what you're saying. Do you think that maybe you're also unintentionally doing the same thing?

SPEAKER_00 31:03

I think that there's certainly a possibility of that. And so while I don't want to say shelter because we're not wanting to shelter them, like I think that it's really important for them to experience things. I think that's another reason that we should want to homeschool is so that we can get them out and do life with them and let them experience, you know. So I'm I'm not going to like say, oh, well, we're gonna go to the zoo and like hide from all of the things, like we're gonna allow them to ask questions and stuff. I just feel like, at least from what my friends who have kids in school say, like that there's just a lot of pushing on one end and like no leeway for another, especially as like Christians. I feel like there's a lot of criminalizing of like Christianity, which don't get me wrong, there are some people who are advertising themselves as Christians and not loving it. And like I know that a lot of Christians have totally ruined the faith for other people. But in the same regard, like we want to teach our kids that like first off, our faith is okay, you know, and if they want to believe it, they want to believe it, but also how to love everyone the way that the Lord calls us to love and to ask questions. And so, like, I'm not gonna be one of those moms that like keeps them at home or like keeps them in their own like tiny little group. Um, I think it's really important. And I was homeschooled for the like formative years, I guess. And my parents did a really good job of like I was in marching band still, you know, and I was in orchestra and stuff like that. And so I think that that gave me the opportunity to really learn independence and learn how to believe things on my own. And so that's something that I really want to do with them, like still get them involved in community events, still let them do. Like um in Ohio, at least it's required by law that homeschoolers can still participate in uh extracurriculars.

SPEAKER_02 32:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 32:24

Um, and so I want to allow them to do that and you know, really just give them the opportunity, like I don't want to throw them into like bad experiences, obviously, but give them the opportunity to experience the world and ask questions and other things and like give them room, you know, to to learn, I guess.

SPEAKER_01 32:38

Yeah. I work with some families that homeschool and their kids are not bored, I'll tell you that much. They're very busy, they do a lot of activities, they have a lot of friends still. So I I know the general idea, or not an idea, but the misconception, I guess, of being homeschooled is that you don't have friends, you don't see the world, and that's not necessarily true, especially if it's done right.

SPEAKER_00 32:52

Right.

SPEAKER_01 32:52

I guess being from a very incredibly liberal state and being pretty liberal myself, I think I worry that, and not that this is not that this should in any way influence your choices, just kind of a conversation, right? I worry that, you know, not everybody is equipped to homeschool, not everyone is capable of doing that. And the more educated you get, I think the more actually I believe the concept that you're saying, like love everybody, accept everybody, you make your own choices within your home, but being able to accept that somebody else's choices are different is easier as you learn that, you know, biology is biology and things like that, right? So it doesn't change how your family life would be. I guess I just worry that if we all homeschooled, we would not necessarily be able to recognize all of those things.

SPEAKER_00 33:30

Sure. Well, and I certainly think that there are some people that should not be homeschooling the kids. Not everybody is built for that. Right. And like and like I said, like I do feel like they're they're unfortunately like a lot of the Christians that you see, or the I I don't know anybody's heart, I can't judge anything. No, yeah, I know. But like a lot of what you see is the negative side of it. But like, yeah, as Christians are called to not judge, like we're called to love one another. And you know, for me, like ultimately, while I believe that men and women are supposed to be with each other and that all of the like other stuff is a sin, also I'm a sinner, you know, I do my own bad things, like, and so I don't have any space to say, you know, you're a terrible person because you do this. You get to make your own choices. I make my own choices, and and so like it's really important to me too, just like teach the kids that because like I I mean I had campers who struggled with a lot of different things and like thought that they were going to hell because of X, Y, and Z. And I was like, no, like just because you do something wrong, like even if you're a believer, does not damn you to hell. Like you have to have a relationship with the Lord, sure, but like you're still gonna screw up, like I still screw up. And I just feel like unfortunately, like there is that really far side of homeschooling and Christianity in general that's like, oh well, you do X, Y, and Z, then you're automatically a terrible person. It's like, well, you seem to forget that like we're also all bad people inherently, and like that's why we need the Lord. So Right.

SPEAKER_01 34:39

I think that's the important distinction, right? Like, that's why you know faith can be important because it guides you to do the right thing, but it doesn't it doesn't exclude you from also making mistakes. Whatever your definition of a mistake may be, what you're saying is important that you know I'm not here to be the one to decide what what your sins are. Exactly. You know, that's that's an I mean that's an interesting conversation. I agree with you that not everyone is built to homeschool, but that doesn't mean you're not gonna do a good job at it. I'm sure that you are. And I like that you have the nature piece, the outdoor piece that you can provide for your children, because that's something I think that here in my home and in our life that we're missing a little bit because it's just we're not in a like physical location to be able to do some of that stuff. So I think that's really interesting. And there are a lot of kids who benefit from outdoor stuff more than they do from indoor stuff. So kudos to you, that's great. I gotta tell you, I am very excited that my daughter will be in five days next year and starting in the fall, and then you know, moving forward, my son will also be as he gets older because I I mean I work and I'm not busy and it's you're still a person and you're still allowed to have time to yourself, you know, and being a homeschooling mom that might be difficult. So kudos to you.

SPEAKER_00 35:33

There's definitely part of me that's like, man, do I really want to do that and have some mom? But yeah, but I'm flexible.

SPEAKER_01 35:38

It'll you don't have to do like seven to follow four every year, eight to four, whatever I don't know, whatever school hours are, you know. Yeah. Right. That's cool. To have a curriculum that you view that you have to follow, right?

SPEAKER_00 35:47

So basically the way that it works in Ohio at least is that there you're given like certain benchmarks that the kid has to meet by the end of the year. And I don't remember I never had to take like a standardized test when I was doing the homeschooling to like say that I mashed those benchmarks. So there's definitely some like honor system as far as the parents go. But there are so many different curriculums and there aren't necessarily like you could pick one curriculum for math and then a completely different curriculum for like history or whatever. Um so it's it's nice because it's kind of flexible based off of like what the kid really vibes with. And like we found a cute little curriculum for like pre-K and it's like more homestead based, but it's like surround all of it is learning through chickens, which I think is great because we have chickens. You know, it's like very applicable to the kids. And so we might do that, but like if they don't like it, that we're not down to it, which is really nice. And obviously, like I'm very aware that like when they are older, they're not gonna be catered to by any means. But I think it's great that like there's so much of an opportunity to like find kind of what works with them, you know, in order to help them thrive. So like I did one math curriculum and I hated it, and we switched to another one, it was great. I still got what I needed to learn, you know, and we moved on. The other nice thing about it is that if they do like quarterly, like you have to report quarterly, and or at least that's how it used to be. And so, like, if your kid meets all of the requirements for kindergarten by the end of the first quarter, then nothing's stopping you from doing the first grade stuff next. Um so that's really nice because there's just a whole lot of flexibility and like a timeline for that.

SPEAKER_01 37:01

Yeah, that's great that people learn a lot of stuff that they wouldn't learn in school, although they'll probably miss some stuff that they would learn in the public schools. So it kind of balances out in the end. Exactly. Yeah, right. Well, very cool. What advice do you think you would have for somebody, especially you as a young person, as a young mom, what advice would you have for somebody going into your position as a firewolf?

SPEAKER_00 37:17

I honestly would just say not to view it as a burden. I think that a lot of times we can, like, I know it's hard for me, like when he gets forced over time or like I can't be real, I am not looking forward to the 13 months of paramedic school because he'll be gone a lot. But like I really believe that our mindset can really make or break the home. And like while for us and for a lot of people, the husband is the head of the household, like he's gone for a third of the year, you know? And so I'm in the glue that holds everything together. And so if I have a bad attitude about, you know, overtime or him having to do training or whatever, then that's gonna directly reflect on my kids. And I don't want my kids to have that negative attitude, you know? And so I think it's really important to as much as possible have a positive mindset while also understanding that yes, it is hard and it's okay to like struggle with it 100%. But when we view it through the lens of like, you know, my husband gets to be home two days at a time, and you know, when he's done with paramedic, he'll get a pay bump and that'll be great. And like it's only 13 months and stuff like that, and really like try and look at the positives, then it really truly transforms just the whole life in general because I could look at a 24-hour shift and say, Man, it sucks that my husband's not home and I have to parent by myself, or I could look at it and say, you know, this is an opportunity for me to really spend one on one time with my kids, or you know, to go on a trip with my mom, you know, and go somewhere or whatever. And that's something that I definitely it was a learning curve, you know, because it was such a huge shift from what he was doing before. I mean, he was going to school and bartending, and so like he was busy pretty much every day. So on one hand, it was nice because it was like, wow, I have all this time with my husband, but then also learning to do bedtime by yourself and like adjusting to being alone by yourself. I mean, I remember when we moved in here, it was the first time since he had started firefighting that I had been completely alone when he was gone. Um, because we were living with my parents when he got his first job. And so that was an adjustment for me. But I definitely like I can tell both in myself and in just the household that on the days that I have a good attitude and I speak positively about the job and everything, then it uplifts us so much more than on days that I really struggle with it. So that I mean, yeah, that would be my biggest advice. Like really try and find positives whenever you can, like not to discount the hardships because those are definitely there. But if you dwell on the good things rather than the bad, it definitely will make a world of difference.

SPEAKER_01 39:10

Absolutely. I think that's fantastic advice. Looking at it glass half full, pretty much. Yeah. Yeah, it's always that everything has hard pieces. Everything has a hard aspect, no matter what your job, what your life, but just remembering that there's more good than bad, I think is really important. An old friend of ours used to say, I couldn't wait for my husband to take over time. I mean, old as in older than us generation wise, right? Like in an older generation. And I kind of going into it, I was like, wow, when is that gonna happen? Like, how am I gonna be like, yes, he's taking overtime? It almost put it similarly, like in a bad light, right? I was I was kind of anticipating that I was gonna be excited for him to leave. Yeah. And it hasn't happened. Like, I am I as like, oh no, he's gone. Maybe not, because we're busy as kids, we have life, right? But I agree with you. I am happy when he's home and I'm happy that I have that time at home.

SPEAKER_02 39:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 39:51

And it's going into it not expecting a negative outlook, or I guess not setting yourself up for failure, is probably a good thing that comes out of that.

SPEAKER_00 39:57

Yeah. Well, and I definitely think there needs to be more of that just in the fire community in general. Because I feel like, you know, I mentioned the the firewives conference and just the negativity around it surrounding it. And like it was even things like the fact that the our husbands like put a lot of their identity in the fire service. Well, absolutely they do. They live there for a third of their life. Like, how can you not? And, you know, and then there was a lot of it on social media just about, you know, here are all the hard things or here's all my extensions. Like when we put that out there, then we're automatically creating a negative headspace for you know newer wives coming in. And I know that I'm still a new wife, you know, in the grand scheme of things, it's only been two years, but I think it's really important, like, because the fire wife life is so different from other people, you know, like learning how to adjust to the overtime or like expecting your husband home at eight o'clock and then he catches a fire and he's not home till two, or whatever. Like, there's such a learning curve. And I think that if we were, we as a community start talking about the positive things more while still understanding the hardships, but like really highlighting the good things that it would really change just the culture in general, especially for new women coming in. Because that was really disheartening for me, you know, when I had first started to hear all of those things because I don't want to act up like that. I don't want to be like loathing the job or upset when my husband, you know, reps his station or whatever. Like I want to be proud of that. And you know, that definitely was something that I faced a little bit of backlash for, but I'm grateful that I've held that mindset because then I've been able to create or start creating that community for other women as they come in or as they start having kids in the fire service or whatever, to be able to say, like, yeah, it's tough. And everything usually does go wrong when he's gone. But here's all the good things.

SPEAKER_01 41:19

Yeah, for sure. It's good that you still have that mindset. I think it's I agree, it's important for us to try to keep that and to reshape the the way that people view it.

SPEAKER_02 41:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 41:26

Absolutely. I wonder too if I still think of myself as a young person, just so you know, and maybe a decade older than you. I think our husbands, our generation and younger, maybe recognize some of this a little bit more. Whereas maybe the generations who are older than us, you know, it really was like what I say goes as the man, and you just deal with the rest at home. And so maybe our spouses are better at trying to help us find a balance as well, which is why we're able to maintain that positive attitude.

SPEAKER_02 41:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 41:52

Most of the time. Obviously, some days are gonna be bad, right? But like it's a general idea you have being a firewife is overall good. You know, not just like don't do it, right? So I I wonder if we were fortunate in that way. Because times are a little different than they were 20 years ago or 50 years ago or whatever.

SPEAKER_02 42:03

Yeah.

unknown 42:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 42:04

Well, my last question for you is any shows, podcasts, books that you absolutely love, something you highly recommend.

SPEAKER_00 42:10

Um, not really. I I like there's a part of me that's kind of like tried not to dive into the just fire stuff, if that makes sense. Just because I I don't want it to completely shift my mindset. Because for us, you know, I'm so grateful that my husband is one of those people who are like God first, then the family, then the fire service. And so, and then he's been very clear about that in in the fire service. You know, everybody knows his family comes first, and if he has to go do something or somebody's sick, like they're gonna honor that. And so I think that we found a really good rhythm, um, which obviously will kind of change like when he's in med school and that's gonna be hard. And I I think that a lot of people have a lot of good advice, but I am one to I'm an overthinker. And so I can often like take people's advice and then start feeling like I'm doing something wrong, or like, you know, why am I not doing it this way or whatever? And like I know that that's like a totally fault of mine, but because of that, I've really tried to focus on like okay, what just works for us, you know, and talking to people, sure, about you know, their experiences, but I feel like because ours is so unique in that like he was my husband before he was a firefighter and stuff like that, like because I I'm pretty sure everybody that I've talked to married like they were firefighters when they got married, so it's just like a really like unique experience for us. I do really there's an Instagram Hold the Line at Home I really like um and a couple others that I can't remember off the top of my head, but there's some really good, like positive fire wife and just fire life Instagrams that I like. But I'm also at a stage of life where it's really hard for me to listen to podcasts all the way through or read books all the way through. Yeah. Because I've got children all about me all the time. Um so yeah, nothing, nothing in general. I mean, really just this has been a season of learning, honestly. And like I know it's been a season for my husband of learning how to be in charge at home, but also be in charge of the station and that transfer of like, you know, obviously we have to hold different expectations at the station for the guys than we do for our three-year-old son. Um and that's a tough transition and like learning to give him grace for that. But yeah, it's we've not had a lot of time to really go down the book rabbit hole or anything. It's just been taking it day by day. So absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 44:00

I don't think I listen to much or watch much that's fire related either. I think we have enough of it at home, and so I like to broaden my horizons a little bit.

SPEAKER_00 44:06

Do other things, yeah, for sure. Well, and uh we we go to the station so much, like and the boys have all fire everything, so it's like you know, I'll go down, I'll do my own interests. We'll we'll listen to other things. Exactly.

SPEAKER_01 44:15

We're all spidey everything here in our house.

SPEAKER_00 44:17

Everything is Spider-Man related, so not so much fire stuff, but we've got more fire trucks than I think any kid should ever have, but that's okay. Because my family too, like once he became a firefighter, it was like, let's just give them all fire fire stuff. They they love it. I mean, like my three and two-year-old, they can tell you the difference between a tanker and a rescue and a ladder. Like, so I'm like, I don't want to like push my kids into the fire service if they don't want to do that. But we're also in the car stage right now. They're not they don't get a whole lot of screen time, but we've watched cars more times in the last year than I think I've ever seen it in my entire life. Yeah, and so Lightning McQueen and made her everything as well as the fire traps.

SPEAKER_01 44:47

You gotta love it. Honestly, once kids love something, they just stick with it for so long. Oh yeah, yeah. Any last stories or thoughts, anything that you wanted to share that I didn't touch on?

SPEAKER_00 44:54

Um I don't really think so. I mean, the biggest thing, like I said, was just having that positive mindset. You know, I'm I'm really truly so grateful for this job for my husband. I mean, like, it's been so cool to see him like just find something he's absolutely passionate about and like to really see him blossom. Like I said, like, I mean, he's in charge already on his shifts and they're pushing him for lieutenant and like just things that are like totally crazy. Like he got full-time before even having a year and a half on the job. Like, so it's been really cool to see him just really blossom. And I think that like it's important for people, especially women, to know, like, yes, you can love the fire service, but you can also love your own things, you know, like you don't have to like while I'm I'm so very proud to be a firewave, like I definitely hold that title of honor, but like also remembering that on top of being a firewife, like I'm a mom and I am these other things, you know. But like I said, just holding that positive mindset and like you know, allowing space for your husband to come home and talk about the calls and the things that he enjoyed and the things that he struggled with and stuff and just finding that balance. I mean it takes time, you know, and I know you know that. But yeah, nothing nothing in general, just that.

SPEAKER_01 45:49

Yeah, that's great. I think that was part of what prompted me to want to do this podcast, right? Like you are your own person and I want to hear about you, it's not all about them.

SPEAKER_00 45:55

I've loved listening to the different stories, you know, and just hearing like what people are passionate about. I think sometimes I get in the mindset of I'm just a mom, you know, but like I really do so much more than that. And while being a mom is such a great blessing, you know, like that's I'm not well I am gonna be mom forever, but these kids aren't gonna be in my house forever. So, like, you know, learning to still do the things that I enjoy and have things outside of that. So it's been cool to hear everybody else's stories too.

SPEAKER_01 46:15

Absolutely. I mean, that's how you lose yourself, right? If you just think of yourself as I am right now, and and most of our energy has to go into being mom right now, but you're still a whole person who deserves to still have some time and some energy put into who you are into into you know, blossoming that as well. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. Well, this has been lovely. Thank you so much for your time. Thank you. Bye. Thank you so much for listening. I hope you enjoyed being here as much as I did. If you have any questions for me or if you'd like to be interviewed, please reach out at the firewives podcast at gmail.com. You can also follow me on Instagram and Facebook. Tune in next week for the next episode of Firewives.