Fire Wives
Join me as I chat with my fellow Fire Wives about what it's like to be married to a Firefighter. Every week, we’ll be talking about the good and the bad of being in the Fire Family, sharing funny stories, and highlighting the spouses that make it all possible.
Fire Wives
E22 Nicolle
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Hi, how are you? Hi, good. How are you? I'm good. Thank you. Thanks for having me. Oh my gosh, of course. It's so nice to meet you. It's great to meet you. Thank you.
SPEAKER_01How's your day today?
SPEAKER_00It's going well. It's going well. It's just, it's one of those Mondays, right? When you have kids, it's just, yeah.
SPEAKER_02I don't think there's ever been a day that wasn't like that after you have kids. I know. I know. You just you never get to rest. It's a myth. It just doesn't happen. Definitely. How many kids do you have?
SPEAKER_00I have two. I have an eight-month-old and a two-year-old.
SPEAKER_02So you're really in the thick of it.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Oh, for sure. Yeah. Because my two-year-old, we're potty training him now. And then my eight-month-old is teething, but he might have an ear infection. So tomorrow we're taking him to the pediatrics. And yeah, it's been, it's been not great.
SPEAKER_02Oh, geez. One of those days, you're right. You're absolutely right.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_02So tell me a little bit about yourself. It's Nicole, right?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, Nicole. Yeah. So let's see. I'm a former teacher. I'm a stay-at-home mom, small business owner, and I'm mama two, as you know, and also a firewife.
SPEAKER_02Nice. That's wonderful. What kind of business?
SPEAKER_00So I have my own little online store where I sell like K through 12 bilingual science resources.
SPEAKER_02Whoa, that's awesome. So you make them or do you translate? I make them, yeah, from scratch. Wow, that's amazing. And it's for science.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, specifically for science. Yeah. I cannot do an English one. I don't know the curriculum well enough to do an English one.
SPEAKER_02So wow, that's pretty incredible. Are you a native Spanish speaker?
SPEAKER_00No, my first language is Spanish. Yeah. Yeah, that's great. That's wonderful. Did you grow up in the US? I did, yes. So I was born in Puerto Rico and raised in Maryland. And then I came here to Colorado for college.
SPEAKER_02Oh, cool. Nice. Is that where you live now?
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01That's great. How long have you been there? Oh my gosh. Seven. No, no, no. Ten years now. That's wild. The time flies. It sure does.
SPEAKER_02Wow. Do you think you'll be there forever?
SPEAKER_00Not with this economy. I don't think so. Colorado is so expensive.
SPEAKER_02Is it really?
SPEAKER_00Oh, it's so bad. Like a house that you might get with land, maybe three bedrooms in North Carolina, it's probably a one-bedroom here.
SPEAKER_02So sure. I'm in Massachusetts, and I mean it's not called Taxachusetts for no reason.
SPEAKER_00That's brutal.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Yeah, like a house here that's like a normal three-bedroom size house, you're probably looking at like eight, nine hundred thousand. What? Yeah, depending on the town, obviously. But some towns are worse than others, but it's crazy. It's nuts here.
SPEAKER_00That is wild. No. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02So don't come to Massachusetts then.
SPEAKER_00No. No, I think depending on what my husband decides, right? Because it's mostly his work that we have to be flexible for moving-wise. I think we'd like to find a place in North Carolina. That would be ideal. That's great.
SPEAKER_02Wow. So do you think he would transfer to a fire department there? Or are you talking more long-term when he retires?
SPEAKER_00Um, I think, I think pretty soon he might, we'll have to see. We don't know yet, because he does really love where he works. So he's a wildland firefighter and he he really enjoys where he's at right now. He works in Boulder. So we'll have to see if he if he loves it. I'm willing to stay. We just gotta find a home that's gonna meet our growing family. Right. So are you do you own or are you renting right now? We own.
SPEAKER_02Wow, okay. So that's gonna be a big move having to sell and find a new place.
SPEAKER_00Oh, 100%. Yeah, we just got a new value on the house. So we're feeling good. We're hoping the market gets better next year. We're just honestly working on our financial situation, credit scores, those kinds of things.
SPEAKER_02Oh, definitely. Wow, good luck. I hope you find something. Thank you. I appreciate it. Of course. So let's go back to what you do for your small business. What got you started doing that?
SPEAKER_00Oh, so I used to be a former middle school teacher, a science teacher. And I did that for one year and then they ended up closing down my school.
SPEAKER_01So I don't know why.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, they were just merging middle schools. Like, so they they ended up getting rid of my school. They fired the whole seventh grade team. And basically, I was like, I really don't like the education system the way it is right now. I'd rather be home with my kids, homeschool them, and make resources for other teachers that they don't have the time to make but could really use.
SPEAKER_02Wow. So that's fantastic. You're doing a huge service.
SPEAKER_01That's beautiful. I appreciate that. Yeah, no, I mean it.
SPEAKER_02I I work with some bilingual families, and it's it's definitely hard to find resources in Spanish or any other language. So that's fantastic.
SPEAKER_00Isn't that ridiculous? When I was teaching, I oh, it was horrible. I would spend hours after school, easily like two hours, translating all the content, the curriculum, into Spanish for my kiddos. Because my I would have classes of like 25, 30 students, and a majority of them only spoke Spanish. And I was like, why am I trying to teach them in English when they only know Spanish?
SPEAKER_02Like, this doesn't make sense. Right. Absolutely. So was this when where you are in Colorado that most of your students? Yeah.
SPEAKER_00I used to, yes, I used to work at a Title I school. We had a lot of newcomers, and um, like I said, mostly only spoke Spanish. And this is one thing that I did not like, at least about my district, was that as a Spanish speaking teacher, like I was ready to teach them in Spanish so that they understood the content in their language, right? Like, but they kind of penalized me for that. They were like, no, we just gotta do it in English, like they'll catch up. And I'm like, you guys are ridiculous. You think you're gonna catch up that quickly? They just got here. Wow. What are you talking about? So, like, yeah, they weren't crazy about me like making all my content in Spanish.
SPEAKER_02Wow. So, are you do you you must sell your content now?
SPEAKER_00Yes.
SPEAKER_02Do you sell it to teachers or to schools?
SPEAKER_00So I sell it directly to teachers. Yeah, I don't sell it to schools because they have stricter licenses about what they accept.
SPEAKER_02So the teachers are paying for it out of pocket?
SPEAKER_00Yes. I try to keep my stuff as cheap as possible. Like if you go to my store, everything's almost a dollar, a dollar fifty.
SPEAKER_02Like wow. I mean, again, that's amazing that you're doing that, but that's insane that people have to pay out of pocket to teach their students.
SPEAKER_00Oh, yeah, 100%. Teachers pay for so much, and they really do not get the support they need. They really don't. It's really sad. I loved my students, I love them so much and I want them to succeed. But like admin was just breathing down my neck on these like deadlines for testing. And like, I was like, hey, my kids are not ready. We need more time because like we're not starting off strong. My kids, I looked at their state tests, they're coming in with reading and math levels in the third grade.
SPEAKER_02When they're in seventh grade, wow.
SPEAKER_00When they're in seventh, yeah. And I was like, how do you expect me to just like get the ball rolling? Sorry, that's my dog. How do you expect me to just get the ball rolling? Like teaching them about the cell and all that when they're struggling to read. Like, so it was just super frustrating all around. I just we didn't have the support we needed. Our class blocks were only 52 minutes long, and it's just like it's such an injustice to the students, to the teachers. Like, it's just a horrible situation.
SPEAKER_02Wow. I'm so sorry to hear that for those students. That stinks.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, no, for sure. They're getting the short end of the stick and they deserve so much more.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. They probably come to this country thinking they're gonna get a better education, right?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I'm sure. Exactly. Yeah, of course, their parents want a better future for them. Like, that's why they're making all those sacrifices. But I just felt bad because I would have parent-teacher nights and I would be like, hey, like we're struggling a little bit in my class, you know what might be happening. And they're like, honestly, we're both working like day and night just to make ends meet. Like, we're just not home with our kids and we don't know really what they're doing. And it's like, that is so sad. It's so sad because that's when the kids make, you know, iffy relationships, like unfortunately bad decisions, right? Like, it's just it's really it's a really different world from when we were growing up where we had homework every night. You know, our parents sat down and practiced cursive with us or math. And like we just we kept learning even outside the classroom. You know what I mean? Right. It's not like that anymore, unfortunately.
SPEAKER_02Wow. I mean, you want to talk about systemic racism, that's the root of it right there.
SPEAKER_00Exactly.
SPEAKER_02It's a cycle that will never end if you don't provide resources to people who are from another country or speak a different language or from another culture. Exactly.
SPEAKER_00Yep, exactly. And it's like we talked about it a few of my colleagues and I, and it's it's really discrimination because they think they're doing good for these students by keeping them going, right? Just fitting them in and just moving them along. But it's it's really discrimination. Like you're doing them an injustice, not helping them more.
SPEAKER_02Right. And it's a disservice, absolutely.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, a hundred percent. You know, I've had parents say, I want to hold my kid back, and for some reason the district won't let me.
SPEAKER_02And I'm like, what? I work with kids and I've heard that a lot from parents, obviously. A lot. Like the school doesn't want us to do that, they just don't want to hold kids back because it looks bad on them. They just they say it's bad for the kid, but it's actually sometimes if a parent is asking for it. Right. Like if a parent wants to hold their kid back, there's gotta be a reason. The kid's not ready.
SPEAKER_00Right. They're not ready. Like it's not okay for them to graduate high school and enter the real world not having basic skills. It's just it's incredible. I don't know what's going on, but that's why I'm homeschooling my my two boys because I really don't want them to get wrapped up in that system and then as a parent not be aware of what's going on. You know what I mean? Like, I want to be more on top of their education and know that they're learning not only from the textbook, but also the real world. So that's super important to me. I want to make sure that they're getting a strong start on especially mathematics and reading. It's so important.
SPEAKER_02And you don't think you're taking away from their education by having them be home?
SPEAKER_00Oh, I always worry about that. Luckily, here I've noticed in in my neighborhood at least, there's a lot of homeschool co-op programs. So I'm really taking the time to look at that because my oldest son, he's about to start preschool at three. And like he's in a program called early intervention, where basically they give him speech therapy and occupational therapy. Yes. Oh, it's amazing. I love how accessible it is. But basically, he's about to start universal preschool through that, and we're really just comparing our school options. Like we're touring, you know, we're we're getting to know each place to make sure it's a good fit for us. I would love it to be a charter school or like one of those co-op schools where like the parent can come in one day and like help in the classroom. I think that would be so awesome. Like a typical idea. Yeah. Like if I'm gonna be a stay-at-home mom, I want to be very active in in my children's education, right? So yeah.
SPEAKER_02Do you still consider yourself a stay-at-home mom when you have a small business?
SPEAKER_00Yes. I I know it's a weird one, right? A stay-at-home working mom, maybe. Yeah, I think that's a better term. Stay-at-home working mom. Yeah, because I don't really go anywhere. I work at a farm every year for the fall festival, and that's a lot of fun. That's cool. Yeah, I really enjoy that. It's a nice break from you know, the normal, and it's something for me, which is really important.
SPEAKER_02Right. What do you do when you're doing that?
SPEAKER_00I'm a field trip teacher.
SPEAKER_02Oh, that's so cool.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, so it it lines up well with what I I already do, kind of. So that's great.
SPEAKER_02And I assume you went to college for education.
SPEAKER_00You would think so, right? But no, I got two bachelor's degrees in meteorology and environmental science.
SPEAKER_02Wow.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I was supposed to go to grad school, but I went through three application cycles, got declined for all of them. Oh no, which was so sad. I know. I I had a lot of self-doubt during that period of my life. So I got rejected, and then there were some issues. I don't know if you saw kind of, but the atmospheric science kind of field had some problems with budget cuts just because of the current administration. So a lot of my friends, like a lot of my friends lost their jobs, unfortunately, and left the field overall. So it's not a great time to be in the world.
SPEAKER_02It's a hard time to be in science, just science in general.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, it's it's horrible and it's so sad. It really is. But yeah, it was just uh really discouraging when that happened. Then I met my my husband, and I was like, I need to find a job, like I need to pick myself up and I gotta keep going. Yeah. So what ended up happening was I his aunt is a principal in Aurora, and she was like, You should just be a teacher. You have two bachelor's degrees, like it shouldn't be a problem. And I was like, Oh, like, yeah, let's give it a try. And man, I can I can see why why people have to get degrees because it's really incredible what teachers do. Like, there's just so much on their plate. There's so much data, so much like you have to keep track of so many things, like IEPs, 504s, like a lot of things that you can't just be thrown in, right? Without any background information. So that was really, really interesting. But that one year that I was a middle school teacher, it was just really rewarding. Like the kids are so awkward. It's they're so awkward, and like they think like their relationships are like it, like that is the love of my life.
SPEAKER_02Like it's like world chattering.
SPEAKER_00It really you're like, girl, you're 13, like you're gonna meet so many more guys.
SPEAKER_02Also, like, why are you even thinking about guys?
SPEAKER_00Exactly. Like, be in a sport, play an instrument, like come on, right? It's crazy, it really is crazy. Like, preteen CCs are just so like oh man, like times are so different, they really are. Do you miss being in the school? Yes, I do, I do, I do, but I do not miss again the admin side of it. That just wasn't great. Like, I don't I didn't like the fact that I had so many students and I could not like give them individual attention the way I wanted to. Like 52 minutes with 30 students, the teacher's not going to be able to do one-on-ones the way that they want to.
SPEAKER_01Right.
SPEAKER_00So it's just it was very frustrating. And again, it felt like I was just pacing to like meet testing deadlines, regardless of which students I leave behind. And that's not how education should be. That's that's not it.
SPEAKER_02So, yeah, I mean, I I recognize that we need some sort of testing to make sure that you know, we need like metrics to measure how successful the school is and if they're doing the right thing. But I agree with you that just kind of catering to the test rather than teaching the student what they need is not the way to go. What do you think would be better? What's a better way to do it?
SPEAKER_00Uh, I mean, it's just so hard because there's so many layers to this problem, right? There's a teacher shortage, so that doesn't help classroom sizes. There's a lot of like funding cuts. Schools aren't getting the funding that they need in order to have books, classroom size, like everything. They don't have the resources. Like, it's it's just such a top-down problem, honestly. Yeah. Um, but I I really do feel like it should education should be more based on the students' needs. So, like basically, I really enjoy the fact that growing up we had the like different levels of math classes and reading classes, right? So there was honors, there was standard, and then there was like the students that needed more individualized help, right? Right. I really feel like that should also extend to other subjects, right? Including science, of course. I feel like we should have for you. No, not for mine. Is it for you guys?
SPEAKER_02I mean, I don't know now, but I will when I was in high school, if I if my memory serves, which really I I don't remember anything anymore, but yeah, I believe we had levels for most topics.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, so I think in high school they still do the AP classes, but in middle school, I think it's just the standard, like science and oh, middle school, right, right, right, right.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I don't know. I did not go to middle middle school in this country. So oh, where did you go? Well, I mean, if I'm being honest, I did come in seventh grade.
unknownOkay.
SPEAKER_02Before that, I lived in Lebanon. Wow, that's incredible. The education there is really it's I mean, it's a much stronger curriculum than it is here. Got it. So when when we moved back here, I came into seventh grade, but really I was I was at the eighth grade level. So I should have been moved up to eighth grade. But because my so when we moved to Lebanon, my brother who's older than I am, he got held back because of the opposite reason. And so then when we came back here, my parents were trying to push him up to get him back into his grade. And then it was like a month or so before that that happened. And then in that time, they kind of were like, you know, you're doing fine, just stick with it. Because I was actually young for my grade anyway. So then I would have been like, if they had done that, I would have graduated high school at like 16, which really would have been not look, I'm just early for my grade, right? Like I'm not I wasn't ahead of the game. I was just like on the younger side because my you know, the where my birthday falls, but then I would have graduated too early if they had done that. And it would have I just wouldn't have been ready for college. Like I don't even think I was ready for college at 17.
SPEAKER_00Exactly. Exactly. Yeah, most yeah, exactly. Like at that age, it's it's unreasonable to think that that kids know what they're gonna do for the rest of their lives, like right, and then add on to it like a language barrier or a cultural barrier in any way.
SPEAKER_02Like you, it's just not right, it's not reasonable.
SPEAKER_00No, not at all. It just it doesn't make sense to me, but right, that's the way it is right now.
SPEAKER_02I know, but I'm glad you're doing what you're doing. That's really that's fantastic.
SPEAKER_00Thank you.
SPEAKER_02Absolutely. So, how did you meet your husband?
SPEAKER_00Oh man, if you're talking to my grandma, we met at church, yes, man. But we met on a dating profile, so uh it's the way of the current world, that's okay. Yeah, no, it was so weird though, because so at the time he bought a house kind of in the middle of nowhere in Colorado, and like we were looking to see where we were gonna have our first date, and like all the options were really like iffy, and I was like, man, what if he like tries to kill me? Like just a bunch of red flags, just a bunch of red flags everywhere. So we ended up having something was telling me to go. I went, we had a great time. We went to kind of like a biker bar, okay, so called Lucky Shots. Yeah, so but the the it was great, it was great. We had a fun time and we kept talking, and then it's gonna sound wild, but like a few months later we decided to move in together because my rent for a one-bedroom, one bath apartment was two thousand dollars a month. Yeah, it was gross, and then and then his mortgage was 2100. So we were like, this doesn't make sense, right? A whole mortgage is the cost of rent.
SPEAKER_02That's crazy.
SPEAKER_00I know it was so bad. So we were like, let's just let's just move in together and split it in half, like we're gonna go bankrupt, living apart. So it ended up working out. We did get pregnant a couple weeks later.
SPEAKER_02So what does grandma think about that?
SPEAKER_00We just don't talk about it. She she loves her her great-grandkids, so you know.
SPEAKER_02That's great.
SPEAKER_00That's great.
SPEAKER_02Wow. So are you did you get married or not yet?
SPEAKER_00So technically, not yet. We consider ourselves married because four years, we have two kids, we have a car payment, like we're we're married. Like, do you think you'll get married? Yes, actually, this December. We're in the middle of wedding planning. Oh, congratulations.
SPEAKER_01Thank you. Oh man, it's a lot, it's so much.
SPEAKER_02So let me ask you why are you getting married? You already live together, you have kids together.
SPEAKER_00I know, I know. I don't know. That's a great question. Like, we just we knew at some point we were gonna do it. The timing just wasn't right, especially with fire season. It's like, oh man, it's so hard to play. In anything during fire season. What's December like in Colorado? Oh, it's so bipolar because like this last year it was in the 90s. So I know. Like we only got snow, I think, three times. So I don't know what this year's gonna look like. Are you prepared for either? Yes. Luckily, our venue is like indoor or outdoor. So yeah. How big is your wedding gonna be? Not too big. It's like 60 guests.
SPEAKER_02So that's perfect. Oh, that's so beautiful.
SPEAKER_00Thank you. Thank you. And I really like that the venue is like all inclusive. So they're helping me plan because during fire season, like you know, he just leaves and I'm like with with the kids and the business and everything. It's just yeah, I was worried about that. Yeah, that's great.
SPEAKER_02Sounds like you found the right venue.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, luckily, thank you. So, what is his schedule like? So on the off season, and like, you know, when he's not assigned to a fire, he works Monday through Thursday 10 hours, 10 hour days. And then when he's out, he's usually gone for 16 to 18 days.
SPEAKER_02What do you do while he's gone?
SPEAKER_00I I try to keep my head above water. Um, no, I I mostly take the kids out every day, like it's so important. I set up play dates, like we go to the museums, like we go to splash pads, the parks, like any chance to get them out and socializing is so important. So I I prioritize that every day, unless it's too hot, like today. Today was like 105. We did not go outside.
SPEAKER_02Oh, it's way too hot.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, no, it's it's horrible because at least it's not humid hot, you know what I mean? Like Florida, but it's still like pretty miserable.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I think anything over a hundred is safe to say he's gonna be miserable wherever you are.
SPEAKER_00Horrible. Yeah, but no, I like to meal prep a lot, honestly, to prepare for him leaving. I think that makes life so much easier. Slow cooker meals, lifesavers. Do you have a pay a favorite? Yes, tonight. I made a slow cooker potato soup. Oh, so good.
SPEAKER_02So good. So you're having potato soup when it's a hundred degrees out.
SPEAKER_00Luckily, luckily, we have like those little AC units, like the wall ones, so that helps a lot. If we didn't have that, I would be not making any any heated food at all.
SPEAKER_02That's fair. Yeah, do you have a lot of fire friends? Have you been able to make a fire community?
SPEAKER_00Online, yes, not in person, unfortunately. I I I told my husband the other day, like, I really want to connect more with the other firewives in his department. But one, there's a distance factor. We're about an hour away from Boulder, where he works, and then they usually all live over there. And then second, they're just there's not a lot that we can relate on, honestly. They all have older kids, like teenage or adult kids, and they're honestly the breadwinners of their families. Like their husbands could completely stop working and they would be fine. Really? That's amazing. Yeah, no, it is so incredible. But like, yeah, like my situation clearly isn't like that. So when I see them during like the Christmas party and all that, like, questions like, oh, what are you up to can be a little be a little different.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Uh-huh. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, that's fair. That's fair. What is your in your experience? What's the best part of being a fire partner been for you?
SPEAKER_00Honestly, just being there to support him has been incredible. And seeing his growth, like he's I got so lucky because like when you have an unexpected pregnancy, you're really concerned, right? Like about what kind of guy you're with and like what kind of dad he'll be and all that. And but he just he's incredible, like he really is. He puts her family first, he really works hard, and like he he prioritizes our family, which is just it's it's great because we were worried financially about how it was gonna look when we started dating. He was a seasonal at his department, and then he became a permanent just a few months into us dating.
SPEAKER_03Okay.
SPEAKER_00And we were just concerned financially about what having a baby and a mortgage payment and a car payment would look like. And he just he was out the whole summer that I was pregnant. He was just continually going out to make money, and like he provide he provided everything we needed. He really, and I'm just glad that I get to be there to like support him, you know, make him meals and like be there to talk to, and and just anything I can do, you know, sew his pants when they have holes in them, like just any way I can help him because he he really is a great guy, and I got so lucky with him.
SPEAKER_02Wow, that's lovely to hear. That's so nice.
SPEAKER_00Thank you. Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_02What do you think the hardest part has been?
SPEAKER_00Oh man. So I don't know if you know, but I write a whole blog on Subscribe Substack about being a wildland firewife, and I haven't really gotten too into it yet, but there's two things that have been the worst part. And one of them is I feel like every fire season there's this thing called the curse. Okay, where like he heads out and something goes wrong.
SPEAKER_02Always when he heads out. A previous guest gave gave me the term. She coined the term shift happens. Oh, I love that. Sounds like that's exactly what you're talking about.
SPEAKER_00Yes, just horrid. Oh my gosh. There was a 2024 fire season, he was out, and wow, like our AC went out. Like, I had a what a five-month-old, six-month-old at the time, and it was just horrible. Like our Jeep, our Jeep went out, like it was having issues, and then my six-month-old got sick, he got COVID, and then he got RSV. Oh, geez. Oh, yeah. Horrible. And like it it really sucked because I was teaching at the time, and like by my higher ups, they knew that my husband went out every fire season, right? So it was mostly me being like the default parent, right? At the time. So anytime something, especially when kids are in daycare, they catch every little thing. And it's like, so I would call out of work, and like at some point, my principal started getting mad. And it's like, well, what can I do? I'm the only parent who can take care of him. Like, so that was unfortunate. So, yes, I do believe in the curse, unfortunately. I've gotten better with dealing with the curveballs, you know. Like, I've gotten better at it, but it always surprises me what can happen while he's out, and it's just it's like the off-season is smooth, everything's fine, and then he leaves, and it's like, nope, naturally, exactly. But the second thing that's that's really hard, honestly, has to be having a career when you're with a person in first response because their schedule is so all over the place, right? You have to be very flexible, especially as a parent. You have to be so flexible to their scheduling needs. And it's just it's so hard to have any type of, in my experience, any type of in-person job within flexible hours. And it's like I feel like career growth doesn't like it when you're not flexible. So it's like that's been really hard, especially like like I told you, I like working every year at this farm just to get some time outside and you know, to myself. And it's just some years I I don't do it because he's gonna be out and daycare is a mortgage payment, and it's just like it really sucks. And honestly, my $19 an hour are nothing compared to his 30, 38 something an hour. Like so, unfortunately, like my stuff gets put in the back burner, and that can be sad sometimes.
SPEAKER_02So, yeah, because it's no less valuable. Being a teacher is no less valuable than being a firefighter, but unfortunately, or even working at the farm, it's no less valuable, right? You're helping the farm, you're helping the students, you're helping yourself, but of course, unfortunately, the world runs on money.
SPEAKER_00Exactly. Exactly, yeah. No, but also on the side, I like to go storm chasing with my friends. Like I told you, I I graduated in meteorology. I love that. That's right. Oh, yeah.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, cool. Uh huh. I love that. Like, what a random hobby to have, but that makes sense.
SPEAKER_00Right, just left field. Oh yeah, she likes to chase tornadoes.
SPEAKER_02So, what does that mean? Like, what are you actually doing to chase the storm?
SPEAKER_00So basically, my crew will text me and they'll be like, Oh, did you see the forecast for today or for two days down the road or whatever? And like, we'll look at models together, we'll sit down. I'll ask Patrick, like, is it okay if I head out? Because sometimes he's working, right? So he might have to leave a little bit earlier so he can take care of the kiddos. But basically, what ends up happening is that we find a place to meet up and then we start following the storm using radar. It's pretty, it's pretty fun. It's great. I think And are you just like watching it?
SPEAKER_02What are you doing?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, yeah, we're mostly just watching it. Yeah, because we're not with a graduate group, right? We're not with a graduate program that has like instruments and everything, like Doppler on wheels. So, like, we're mostly there watching it, and it's insane how many people come out. Like, it's it's a small community, but it's large in numbers. We all know each other.
SPEAKER_02Uh-huh.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_02That's cool. What a what a different kind of hobby to have.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, no, for sure. But it's been amazing. Like, I've I've seen some beautiful tornadoes. I've been really lucky, and I've also seen some very unfortunate things. So I feel like that's where Patrick and I kind of understand each other too, because he loves fire, you know, something that people would see as very destructive and dangerous and a negative thing overall. But he sees the beauty in it too, right? Like, and with tornadoes, it's the exact same thing. Like, there's a natural beauty to it, it's just horrible that there's also like a huge consequence to it.
SPEAKER_02So when you say you've seen some crazy things, give me an example.
SPEAKER_00Oh my gosh, Yuma, Yuma, uh, 2023, Yuma, Colorado was absolutely gorgeous. We were chasing all day. There were some times where like there were some times where we felt like we were being chased, to be quite honest with you. Really? Yeah. But chasing uh chasing in general has gotten more dangerous because as you saw, like that new Twisters movie came out, and unfortunately, a lot of people who do not have background knowledge on reading radar or anything like that is hitting the road. So it's extremely dangerous. Yeah, it's so dangerous. So I try to be very careful of other drivers on the road because at some point they start following you. Like if you look like you know what you're doing, you start getting like five cars following you. And how do they know? I don't know, I don't know, but it's just like it's an extremely dangerous situation, right? Like because if I need to make a split session, split second decision to turn around and like completely move somewhere else. I can't. I have to wait for all these cars to do three-point turns on these little like country roads, yeah. Like extremely dangerous, but that's just what happens. Like, I don't know, I don't know. But it's fun. Yuma was an amazing tornado, it really was it was gorgeous. But there were times where like there were these little lamp spout tornadoes that would scare us because they would just pop up near our car and we're like, oh my gosh, is this it? Because we've been following this cell for hours at this point, and that was crazy, but it produced a gorgeous tornado. It was probably the most photogenic one of 2023. And I was actually like, what, five months pregnant? Oh my goodness, you're crazy. Yeah, I was five months pregnant. I did it again with my second pregnancy. I went out. I was like, I'm not, I'm not gonna get a lot of time to chase postpartum. I need to take advantage now. And my husband's so supportive. He's like, you should be safe, baby, but you go, you go have fun. Wow.
SPEAKER_02Well, that's one adrenaline junkie to another. Exactly. Glad that you have a really cool and really strange and awesome hobby.
SPEAKER_00Thank you.
SPEAKER_02That's great. How often do you get to go?
SPEAKER_00Oh gosh, I have to weave it in between his assignments. So if like the conditions are just right, models look good, then I try to head out during his like RR or like a normal weekend that he has. But like most of the time it doesn't work out that that way. Like this season, I've only gone out once so far and it was a bust, but it was still really pretty. Like the supercell was gorgeous, but yeah, it we ended up not getting a tornado from that. And I ended up chasing like what eight hours that day.
SPEAKER_02But wow, it was nice to be together. What's a typical day like doing that? How many hours?
SPEAKER_00Gosh, easily 12. Because if we start going across state lines, like it all blurs, right? You get into like Kansas, Oklahoma, Nebraska, Nebraska, you could spend all day in. It's insane. And do you like stop to pee? Oh, yes. Okay, I get jealous of my my male crew members because they just they just point it towards the wind, like we have no problem. Have you ever heard of a Sheewi? Yes, you should get one. I should. That's a great idea. No, we have they made fun of me. They didn't make fun of me, but it was crazy because I told you I was five months pregnant during Yuma, and like they were like, somehow Nicole was the one to pee the least out of all of us, and she's pregnant, like wow. So yeah, so it's a lot of fun. We usually like if it's a good night, if we saw a tornado, we go to a random restaurant and get a steak dinner to celebrate. Wow, yeah, yeah. So that doesn't happen very often.
SPEAKER_02Have you ever brought your husband with you?
SPEAKER_00No, I want to so bad. Like every now and then when we drive to store and I see like something that could form, like just in our in our neighborhood, then I'll take him on an impromptu storm chase. And then at some point he'll be like, Girl, we've been out for an hour. We need to turn around. Yeah, because yeah, if you let me, I'll keep chasing that one cell until the end of the day, until it dissipates. And he's like, We were just going to go get milk, girl. Like, we need to turn around.
SPEAKER_02It's past my bedtime. Exactly. Wow, that's great. So, what do you think in terms of how him being a firefighter, him being out all the time has how has that impacted your relationship? Clearly, it's not stopping you from wanting to be married.
SPEAKER_00Right. No, yeah, I feel like I feel like all those challenges have made our relationship stronger. There's just some moments where it's really tense, like sometimes financially, especially during the offseason, right? Uh finances can get tight because he's not going out on rolls. Like, and sometimes overtime can be sparse. And it's like then we have that talk of like, should you get a job, like in person, like a full-time, and then we look and it's like, oh, that doesn't add up with daycare. Like, my whole paycheck is gonna go to that, and then I'm not gonna get time with the kids.
SPEAKER_02Like, right, like, what's the point?
SPEAKER_00What's the point? Exactly. So then, like, we just we always go back to that in the middle of five the off season, just because like that role money is gone, and it's just like we start to feel the pressures of just the finances here. But when it comes to like our relationship, I feel like our communication has gotten so much stronger just because like he's out, like he's missing a lot of stuff that's happening at home. Like, I'm trying to keep him updated. Exactly. No, it's super hard, and I feel so guilty about that sometimes because like our little ones are at a stage where they're doing so much, yeah.
SPEAKER_02They're changing very quickly.
SPEAKER_00Exactly. It's just it's sad, it's really sad. But I know he loves what he does, and he's really helping a lot of people, so I'm super proud of that. But when we are together, like it's great. I mean, it's a little awkward at first, right? Because he's coming back from being in an engine for like 16, 18 days, and then like he's coming back home to two little screaming kids, and then it's it's awkward at first, you know. As I said, kids change so much, so you have to change your routine a lot to to you know grow with them, and and he has to kind of play catch up when he gets back, right? Figure out what's the new bedtime routine, what are the new words or toddlers saying, like all these things. It's crazy.
SPEAKER_02Doesn't sound like a lot when you say like 16 days, like when you're talking in days, but right in in that age, it's a big difference. But also, if that's a regular thing where he's going away for many days at a time, it adds up a hundred percent.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, it really does. Yeah, because sometimes he'll come back and then for like two, three days, and then he'll head right back out. So yeah.
SPEAKER_02Does he ever talk to you about how hard it is to miss out on these things with the kids?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, he does. Every now and then he gets vulnerable during roles that he's out. My my husband's a more, I don't want to say a a man says less, but usually when he opens up, it's it's when he's feeling very like vulnerable, like something's really bothering him. Other than that, he usually is pretty like I don't want to say, I don't know what's the word I'm looking for, but he doesn't really show his emotions too much. He's exactly yeah. So when he's on rolls, that's when usually he opens up more and he's like, I really miss you guys, like I'm really glad that you guys did this. I'm just bummed I wasn't there. Like it just hits harder. It hits harder. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02So what do you do to help him through that?
SPEAKER_00I try to document as much as I can, honestly. I really do, because even though it might be hard, right, for him to see those things and not be there, he's still not missing it, right? So, like our son, he just had his first bike ride like earlier this season while he was out. And I knew Patrick, my husband, wasn't gonna want to miss it. So I recorded it, I sent it to him. I used to send him like daily update texts, even if he never texted me back because he might not have signal, right? I would send him just daily update texts with pictures of what the kids did that day, and that way it felt like he was still here. So do you ever decide? I bet.
SPEAKER_02Do you ever decide not to do certain things because he's not with you and you know he would want to be there?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, no, for sure. There are a couple things. I want to take the boys fly fishing, like, of course, not my eight-month-old, that would be ridiculous, but right. But take take our two-year-old with a little like kid fishing rod and like start teaching him how to fish and go camping. Those are things I've always wanted to do with my family, and and my husband really wants to do that, so I don't want it, I don't want to do the first time without him.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, that's thoughtful of you. That must be really hard for him to miss some stuff like that.
SPEAKER_00For sure. Yeah, it's just hard because like fishing is something you usually do during the summertime, right?
SPEAKER_02So yeah, it's hard during fire season.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, wow.
SPEAKER_02What advice do you think you would give another fire spouse, fire partner, fire mom?
SPEAKER_00There's two main things. One, connect with other firewives, whether that's in person or online. So that really makes a world of a difference. Like, especially if it's your first fire season, like you just feel so alone and scared and just overwhelmed with everything that it can get pretty, pretty depressing. You you just kind of you might turtle yourself out, right? You might not talk to others, you might just like lay in bed all day, and it it just can get pretty bad. So I think it's important to just make those connections with other people who understand exactly what you're going through. It's just so validating and like it's so comforting, right? But also the second thing has to be getting out of the house. I really can't stress that enough. Kids are no kids, it's so important for your mental health to get out of the house and do things that you enjoy. Because you can just swallow for 16 to 18 days and it it just it won't be good. You're gonna dread all the future fire seasons, you're you're just not gonna be happy.
SPEAKER_02So honestly, all the wildland firewives that I've talked to have really put me in my place. I've got like a 24 hour shift, a 48-hour shift sometimes to deal with. And I'm like, oh 48 hours with the kids alone, let alone that's hard. But not as hard as 16 or 18 days. Nowhere near, right? So, but but even so, with that said, I still don't think I've ever spent a full day in my house with my kids. Like you just can't. You can't.
SPEAKER_00No.
SPEAKER_02Everyone goes stir crazy. You just can't.
SPEAKER_00Exactly. Exactly. Like you have to get them out of the house. They need to run that energy out, or else it's gonna come out and bad stuff later. Like, yep. Oh, so important. And like you just you need to get out of the full four walls you're always surrounded by. Like it's so important. And you have to keep living, honestly. Like your life can't just stop from like what April through November. It can't. You have to keep going.
SPEAKER_02So yeah, I think that's incredibly important. It's hard to it's hard to continue living normally. Right. Mm-hmm. Because you want him to be there for everything, but he can't be. And that's a sacrifice that you're all making, that we're all making. But at the same time, it's not fair to the kids to to not do things that they want to do and that you want to do with them.
SPEAKER_00Exactly. A hundred percent. Especially when they start really noticing, like it's it just breaks my heart now that he's two and he knows when his dad is out. Just those constant like mornings where he's like, Dada, dada, and it's just like dad is still at work, baby. Like it's really hard.
SPEAKER_02Do they get this might be a silly question? But when he comes home after 16 to 18 days or whatever it may be, are they like nervous around him?
SPEAKER_00Yes. Oh, oh my gosh, my poor husband almost needed therapy after the first one. Because my my so my two-year-old, he was like what five months when he was out on his first roll away from us. And oh my gosh, he did not recognize him when he came home. So, like the moment his dad held him, he started screaming and trying to come back to my arms. And oh my gosh, you could see it on my husband's face. Like it really broke him. It was horrible. So that was that was so hard. And like, but now with him, like he just immediately bolted to his arms, like so happy to see him. It's but it's it's really hard. It's really hard when he's gone. Cause yeah, he he knows now, and it's like you can't really hide it. I can't be like, oh, he's coming back tomorrow. Because most of the time, like even that could change, right? Like, right. So yeah, it's it's not easy. It's not easy being a parent in that situation.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_00So but I'm also working on an article right now about what happens when bad things happen while your husband is gone. Like, let's say the loss of a family member or illness or whatever, and how that kind of all falls on the spouse that is home and they don't have the time to kind of process it the way others would, right? Because let's say, heaven forbid, I lose a family member, I can't exactly pick up all my stuff and go to the funeral or be there the moment I want, because I have two kids who don't have anybody else to take care of them while I'm out.
unknownRight.
SPEAKER_00And then also I can't grieve it properly. Like I if I didn't have kids, I would be laying in bed, crying my eyes out, like, you know, properly processing it. But when you're when you're the default parent, you have to keep going. You have to get up and you have to get the kids ready and you have to go out to the park and be happy. And like that can be a really scary pathway to depression and resentment. So I really wanted to talk about that in my in my future article because I feel like it's something that that could be really dangerous.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_00Recently I I did have uh yeah, yeah. My my grandfather, he battled Alzheimer's for six years, which is impressive. But it was such a slow death, and he really was one of the lights of my life. So seeing him just kind of become a shell of himself was just so hard. And with fire season, like I just I didn't have, I guess, the support that I needed from my husband at the time because he was just out so much and I didn't want to bother him. But like I was really struggling, and especially when he passed away, like it was just I don't know, I don't know if you feel the same way, but being married to a firefighter, I noticed that sometimes for them death can be kind of like a I don't want to say an everyday thing, but it's kind of like they're desensitized to it.
SPEAKER_02Yes.
SPEAKER_00So when my grandpa passed away, it was just like I wasn't getting what I needed emotionally from my husband, just because for him it was so like matter-of-fact everyday kind of thing.
SPEAKER_02I'm sorry you went to that. That's really hard.
SPEAKER_00Thank you. Yeah, it was it was really hard, but I'm I'm so blessed. He over FaceTime, my grandpa get got to see my firstborn before he passed. So I'm I'm really lucky.
SPEAKER_02Oh, that's so nice. My grandma had dementia also in her, yeah, in her in her older age. And she I was pregnant for the first time, and she had she had she has grandkids and great grandkids, whatever, but it was my first, and I kept telling her, and she would just get so happy, and then she would forget, and so then I would tell her again, and it was just honestly like it sounds sad, but it really wasn't because I got to see her be happy again and again and again, and it was just it sounds sad, but really it was like it was so joyful because it was such genuine joy, exactly.
SPEAKER_00Oh my gosh, that is such a silver lining in that situation.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, that's true, yeah, yeah. So tell me about your sub stack.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, oh gosh, it's still in development. Like, oh, I want to put in some like cooking stuff and all that, but like it's just it's not there yet. But I mostly write about just how fire seasons go for me and advice that I might have. It gets kind of crazy sometimes though, because because sometimes I'm like, girl, if he's out and you want to cut your hair, cut it. Like, get a YouTube video of yours. Like so my husband he has to reel me back sometimes. He's like, girl, you're gonna cause some horrible haircuts.
SPEAKER_02So you're telling yourself to cut your own hair?
SPEAKER_00Oh my gosh. Yeah, if you want to switch up the furniture in your living room, do it. Who's gonna stop you? Like, yes, like I just I try to I try to help other firewives kind of get out of that hole because it's really sad when your husband leaves. It's really sad, it's really scary, right? Because heaven forbid you don't want anything to happen to them. Of course, like it's just fire season sometimes really sucks, and it's like I just want to make it more light and fun, and like, you know, like I just wrote an article about like the pros of fire season. Like, oh, you get to move your furniture, you get the bed to yourself, like you get to eat whatever you want. My husband hates seafood. I'm Puerto Rican, I love seafood. Uh-huh. So I'm like, I'm like, oh man, I make shrimp, I make fish the moment he leaves, and I don't care. So it's yeah, no, fire season for sure can suck, but there are some upsides, and I just I want to put it out there because sometimes, yeah, I noticed online it can get a little sad sometimes.
SPEAKER_02So it can definitely get kind of negative, huh? I never until I started this podcast, I literally never followed a single like firewife account. I have a very small social media profile, like personally. But now, now that I'm doing this, I'm like following all these accounts and trying to make my presence bigger on social media and all that, and I don't really know how to do that, but I'm like following a bunch of stuff. And there is a lot of negativity out there, there's a lot of like just bitching about things, and you know, a lot of it is focusing on the downsides, yeah.
SPEAKER_00Mm-hmm. Which is really unfortunate because like there are upsides, right? Yeah, just you have to kind of look for it sometimes. But no, like you sh fire season is just yeah, it's it's an interesting time. Like I know the moment my husband texts me, hey, are you free for a call? I know he's gonna head out. So yeah, but it's it's fine because, like I said, like I get the kids out, we do some fun things, we make memories, and yeah, we just keep it does he have any say in it or he has to go if he gets called out? He has some say in it. So he's now an engine boss, so he can kind of get his own crew together and decide when they're on the list. Yeah, yeah. So that's a good thing, is that he can push it back if need be, but it I try to not do that unless it's like a day where we have like five kids' appointments, and I'm like, can you just push it back one more day? This is one more day. Okay. So that's that's at least a little bit nice having that flexibility now that he's kind of a higher up in his department. But there's been very rarely moments where I'm like, hey, can you just skip a role? Right? Because we need that role money and he needs to go out for his qualifications, like it's important. But the one, the one or two times that I did tell him to maybe not go out on a roll was because I was eight months pregnant and I was having some like some false labor moments. And I was like, I'm really afraid you're gonna miss the birth of your child. Yeah, you know, totally reasonable fear to have. Oh, 100%. Last season, oh, you're not gonna believe this. I was eight months pregnant. He was out for a fire, he was already there those 18 days, and then because of the cruise swap, the way it would have worked out, they asked him to stay one more week, come home for three days, and then go back to that fire in California. Can you believe that? So he was gone for a month and a half.
SPEAKER_02Oh my goodness. And you were how pregnant?
SPEAKER_00Eight months. Oh my goodness. I almost killed him. Like, I was like, you're gonna miss it. You're gonna miss it.
SPEAKER_02Was this with your first or your second?
SPEAKER_00My second.
SPEAKER_02So I had a toddler with So who had your who had your toddler when you had your second?
SPEAKER_00So no, when I oh my my second was no, no, no, sorry. My toddler was the daycare when my water broke. So my husband had to like leave. Oh my gosh, this this is incredible. You're not gonna believe it. Literally, the morning of I started having labor pains, like contractions, like timed, it was bad. I was like, this baby's coming today. And then he was like, Okay, okay, go to the hospital. I'm gonna go to work. You tell me this is the real deal, and I'll leave work. And I'm like, dude, we're gonna fight. We're gonna fight right now. So here I am having contractions, driving my very upset butt to the hospital. The contraction stopped. Like they were they were monitored, they were going for two hours and then they stopped. So I called I called Patrick and I'm like, okay, it stopped, but I I'm telling you, this baby's coming today. It's coming. You knew it. And then, like, so I I took myself to IHOP.
SPEAKER_02Treat yourself.
SPEAKER_00I went to IHOP and I had a whole breakfast because again, I didn't have the toddler. I was like, I need to take advantage. Yeah. Went to IHOP, had breakfast, came home, cleaned a couple things because I'm telling you, I knew it. It was he was coming and like I cleaned a couple things, I laid down for 10 minutes, mark my words, 10 minutes, and then my water broke on the bed. Wow. On the bed.
SPEAKER_02It couldn't mean that you had a mattress protector. Did you get a new mattress?
SPEAKER_00Yeah. No, do you have unfortunate? I I envy the women who had it happen in the shower. Like you guys are blessed. It was so bad. And I I called Patrick and I was like, I told you so. I told you so. My water broke on our bed. It's so yeah, you're like, Yeah, take that. It's so weird that it stopped. I agree. I don't know what happened because later on, literally the same doctor was on that that saw me that morning, and he was like, I'm not sure why, but it just completely stopped. He just took a break, and I was like, Oh, okay. Like, I didn't know.
SPEAKER_02And your son was fine and healthy and came out okay.
SPEAKER_00Yes, yes, thank God. It was an emergency C-section at the time because he was scheduled, he was a scheduled C section later on that week, and he just decided to come like four days early.
SPEAKER_02Right. So, as they do sometimes, as they do, yeah.
SPEAKER_00So my husband had to bolt home, pick up our toddler, give him to his aunt, and then like come to the hospital. And then, like, we were waiting for him. Can you believe that? We were waiting for him to make this C-section happen. We were like, We're ready to go. When are you getting here, bud?
SPEAKER_02No, like take your time.
SPEAKER_00So, like, yeah, he made it in time. He was there, and and yeah, it was it was great, but man, that is wild. Yeah, that is wild.
SPEAKER_02I was gonna ask you to tell me your your top shift happens moment, but I think you you just did.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, no, if I were to take some it's just wild, like, because literally he'll be like, one more roll, one more roll, and you're just like, Oh, dude, like you're killing me here. Do you ever feel like it's an addiction? Oh, a hundred percent, yeah. Because he gets that itch, you know, like he's ready to go by like February. Well, you can just see it, he's ready, and you try not to take it personally. I'm like, I give him a hard time. I'm like, wow, you just really don't like being here that much. And he's like, I'm ready. Exactly. No, I'm sure it's addicting, and like again, I'm I'm super proud of him. Like, he's really good at it, he loves it, and I'm gonna do whatever I can to support him.
SPEAKER_02That's really wonderful. That's great. Have you been finding that your online presence has been helping you do that? Helping you find support for him and for yourself.
SPEAKER_00No, for sure. Because I feel like at the end of the day, like, and I'm also doing therapy, but I feel like at the end of the day, like working on yourself makes you a better partner, right? So it's like finding others and kind of like finding that common ground, people who understand exactly where you're at mentally right now is just so nice because you don't feel crazy, like you don't feel lonely anymore. It's amazing. Like, I I'm genuinely jealous. I wish I had a better relationship with the other firewives in my department because that would be great. Right. Like, right, that would be amazing.
SPEAKER_02I know. I sometimes wonder if I don't take enough advantage of it. It's it's hard because I work, I I don't have all that much time.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, no, that makes sense. So, like, yeah, but it's still awesome that you have them there.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, it is really nice. It's a nice fallback to know that like they've got my back and I would have theirs too.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, no, and I'm really glad that you're doing this too, because like some of the stories that I've been hearing on your podcast are just incredible, like it's really insane. Yeah, good.
SPEAKER_02So I'm so happy to hear that. Has there been one that stood out to you the most? Like one guest or one one story?
SPEAKER_00Oh my gosh, I think you already know.
SPEAKER_02Tell me which one.
SPEAKER_00I it was Megan from I think last episode. Yes, yes. I loved it. I I loved her brutal honesty because it's like it's something that all of us firewives occasionally like the thought runs through our head of like what's happening out there, especially on the roles. Every now and then he'll have a role where he's just on the engine, like just on standby in case anything happens. And they like, you know, they'll watch movies, they'll hang out, like they're just ready to go. And like every now and then that the thought will creep in as just like kind of an insecurity, and it's like you don't know, unfortunately. And the fact that you know, her husband's colleagues kind of kept it from her was just insane. Yeah, so I know it's really sad. It really is, yeah, it really is. So it was just I really appreciated that brutal honesty from her because like I think that there's still a couple things that in the community we don't openly talk about, and cheating is one of them. Like it needs to be talked about more because it does happen, unfortunately. Like it's just it's not the pretty side, right? And it could be cheating on the firefighter side, it could be cheating on the spouse side, like definitely happens, right?
SPEAKER_02It does happen, and I think talking about it helps people, like you said, not feel so alone, but also maybe there's a way to avoid that. I think anytime somebody cheats, like it has to come from being lonely and not getting what you need from a relationship, right? Exactly. And maybe, maybe fire fighters and wives or husbands or whatever are not set up for success with the way the system is.
SPEAKER_00No, a hundred percent. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Be nice to put it more and come up with some sort of solution or agreed.
SPEAKER_00No, a hundred percent. It's just yeah, especially when you have kids, it's so hard to really reconnect after a role. It's really hard because you have so much to do on your day-to-day, right? Like, how much time are you really gonna get to sit down and have a date together and you know, just be you, right? Yeah, be you too.
SPEAKER_02So yeah.
SPEAKER_00Wow. Well, thank you. I'm glad you're listening. I'm glad you're enjoying it. Thank you. Yeah, no, thank you. It's super helpful, seriously. I'm so glad.
SPEAKER_02Good. Well, my last question for you is if you have any recommendations for like a book, a podcast, a movie, a show, what's your current binge?
SPEAKER_00Show. Oh my gosh, let's see. We've been really into survival. We love like naked and afraid or alone, like those series are so good. Uh-huh. And then we've been really into these these guys called the Try Guys, they used to be with BuzzFeed. I don't know if you know who they are, but the Tri Guys are so funny. They're they're great. They have their own streaming, like all of them. Like they all have their own streaming services now. But like this one's really good. I think it's so funny. So if you're looking for a good laugh, they are amazing.
SPEAKER_02Is it a show?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, no, it's like a bunch of shows, like it's a channel, right? Like a YouTube channel, and then they have like a variety of shows. Like they have a D show, they have like where they try different things every day.
SPEAKER_02Oh, try like T R Y. I thought you meant trying three.
SPEAKER_00Okay. No, try guys, yeah.
SPEAKER_02They're so good. So good. Nice, awesome, cool. Anything else you would want to add? Anything I didn't touch on?
SPEAKER_00No, I mean, I guess for all the firewives out there, I just want to say, like, you guys are amazing. You guys are doing so great, and you're so strong. And like, I really look up to all of you because it's not easy. And it's just amazing how you guys keep the household together every single year. It's it's great. So you're here. I second exactly. Yeah. Thank you. Thank you so much. Thank you. Thanks for your time. Yeah, thank you. I really appreciate it.
SPEAKER_02Thanks. All right. I hope we stay in touch.
SPEAKER_00Definitely. Thanks.
SPEAKER_02Bye. Bye. Good night. Thank you so much for listening. I hope you enjoyed being here as much as I did. If you have any questions for me or if you'd like to be interviewed, please reach out at the firewives podcast at gmail.com. You can also follow me on Instagram and Facebook. Tune in next week for the next episode of Firewives.