How to Prepare for an IEP Meeting: Tips Every Parent Should Know

00:00 IEP Meeting Mistakes Parents Don’t Realize They’re Making

04:30 What Schools Are Required to Provide Under IDEA Law

09:15 How to Prepare for an IEP Meeting the Right Way

14:20 Understanding IEP Goals and Measurable Progress

19:10 When to Push Back in an IEP Meeting

24:05 The Role of an IEP Advocate Explained

29:00 Warning Signs Your Child’s IEP Isn’t Working

34:10 Parent Rights in Special Education

39:20 How to Document Concerns Before the Meeting

44:00 What to Do After the IEP Meeting Ends

48:30 Final Advice for Parents Navigating Special Education

In Episode 2 of Remarkable Futures, Terry Bedard discusses the critical steps families must take when planning for a child with special needs.

This conversation explores common mistakes, guardianship decisions, protecting benefits like SSI and Medicaid, and why early planning provides long-term security.

Designed for parents seeking clarity and direction, this episode offers practical insight into building a stable future.

About Remarkable Futures
The Remarkable Futures Podcast is designed to help families make informed decisions about special needs planning, financial security, and long-term care.

🎯 Start planning with confidence:
AblePlanning.com

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📩 Have questions or need guidance? Reach out:
https://ableplanning.com/contact/

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

We blindly walked into a PPT meeting, a transition meeting. Parents always know when there's something that's just not right. The school district does not have this the legal standard of providing my child or any child with a disability with the best education, okay?

SPEAKER_00 0:22

Planning for a loved one with special needs takes clarity and the right strategy. Remarkable Futures brings practical conversations and expert insight to help families protect benefits, build stability, and move forward with confidence.

SPEAKER_02 0:37

Hi, I'm Steve Norton, your host for the Remarkable Futures podcast. I work actively in the wealth management field in helping families to prepare for the expenses that they may incur in taking care of their loved one with special needs. In addition to that, we have developed a website, AblePlanning.com. That website is designed to provide you educational information that you might need in making decisions related to special needs issues that you might face as a parent or caregiver. Today I'm very honored to have with me Terry Bedard, who's an attorney. And I'll have you touch on your credentials a little bit, but I think I kind of want to introduce you in a little bit more of a personal way, in that when we first met, we had coffee, and both of us were dealing with family members, our children that have special needs. Different, uh certainly different from each other. But I think we we kind of connected that day. And it was largely because that was kind of defining the why of what we were doing. For me, um I had been uh in the wealth management industry for quite some time, and I realized that there was a gap occurring where we were seeing um people not getting the help that they needed on uh preparing for the future for for their childhood. Um and the other thing that I looked at is we were I felt overwhelmed. Um I know you had issues that at times you felt overwhelmed with, but why don't you just describe a little bit about your why, if you will. I I your son seems like a remarkable, remarkable man at this point, but he uh he had a journey. You had a journey with him that shaped your career.

SPEAKER_01 2:25

Absolutely. But first, I want to thank you for having me. It's such an honor to be here and share my experience. And yes, the why of how I got involved in this area of special education law is uh going back many decades, actually, three, when I was happily in corporate law. But as I look back, I think I'm not sure I had a passion for it, and it didn't seem so much like my purpose until my husband and I had our first son, uh Matthew, and he was born with a profound hearing loss, but we didn't know that initially. And this was before newborn hearing screening was a law in Connecticut. We suspected as we as he grew and he wasn't really as responsive to noise. Uh however, the pediatrician kept telling us, and I'll remember this like it was yesterday, Webster's dictionary will just fall out of his mouth, don't worry. And his daycare provider said, Oh, Matthew loves music, he alerts to his name. And so we were hearing these contradictory statements, and yet parents always know, you know this too, parents always know when there's something that's just not right. And we knew there was something wrong there. And so we stopped listening to the pediatrician, and we went uh and got Matthew tested with an audiologist and discovered he has a severe to profound hearing loss. And so at that point in time, we connected with Birth to Three for services at home. And when he got to almost age three, there was still a language delay because we didn't discover his hearing loss until he was almost a year and a half, believe it or not.

SPEAKER_00 4:17

Wow.

SPEAKER_01 4:17

Right. And so at that point, we blindly walked into a PPT meeting, a transition meeting, to prepare for Matthew to start preschool. And I almost can reflect back to that, be transported, if you will, back to that time walking into this meeting with 10 people on the school district side, and my husband and I just feeling very overwhelmed, like you said before, just completely overwhelmed. I was nervous, I didn't know what to say, I was hoping, uh praying that they would just have my son's, our son's best interests at heart. Uh, I think that's not always the case, uh, but in our experience, what we found was that the district really wasn't listening to us. They they really were not listening to our concerns. And so it was really at that point that I realized, okay, I'm already an attorney, I'm working in this corporate law area, but I really need to pivot and learn about special education law. And so we stepped back. I, you know, got myself very well versed in the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act, IDEA, and I came more prepared to the next meeting when we were talking about placement. We wanted an out placement. The district wanted our son to be in a self-contained classroom with other students with disabilities. We didn't think that that was appropriate, but we took steps to try to convince the district. So I really did have to flex my legal muscle. And it was at that point what washed over me was the realization that we're going to have to continually educate every educator that works with our son. And if we're having this issue, then there are lots of families out there that are also having this issue, but don't have the benefit of having a law background and being able to hopefully persuade the district. And so we did get that outplacement. But um that that was the turning point for me that I decided I can't go back. I started working in a small law firm with a very renowned special education attorney, um, Howard Klebenov, who's now retired, but he taught me so much. And I'm still learning, you know, three decades later, uh just with every case being a little bit different. But that's really what set me on my path. My son, our personal experience, and that realization that if we're having concerns and issues with our district, then other families are too. And that's that's really become my passion to help families.

SPEAKER_02 7:06

That's kind of a perfect segue to what we're trying to uh discuss today, and that is um the rights of the child, the rights of the parent, um, how to advocate, when to advocate, how to navigate. Um, like yourself, I have very vivid memories of that first uh PPT and realizing that going into that room, our son was going to have an individual education plan going forward. I didn't even know what the hell that meant at the time, frankly. Right. And you know, at the same time, I'm we're looking around the room and I'm thinking there's there's nine staff people or professionals uh from the the school district there. And uh I was grateful for that, that they, you know, were taking the time to um let us know what they were hoping to accomplish with our son and what um they felt his needs were. Over time, there were points where um you know you you go from being grateful to sometimes feeling like the relationship with the school system can become adversarial and walking that fine line in between. Um so I I don't perhaps you could uh share a little bit of insight on how parents should view that circumstance because you know, on the one hand, you don't want to offend the the teacher or the that you might have as uh your parent, your child's uh main teacher, because you're thinking, well, if I offend them, then maybe they're not going to do the things that they're already saying they're gonna do. Yet, you know, at the same time, you know, you're getting a diagnosis. I'm getting a diagnosis with our son uh having pretty profound autism, that I just want to fight for everything for him. So it it's it's also containing that emotion so it's not destructive uh in working with the school system.

SPEAKER_01 9:07

You just hit the crux of the main issue, I think, that every single parent with a special needs child encounters. And I remember that emotion too, just going in and having that, like I'm the mama bear, and you're talking about my cup. Like that's not okay, that you you're not willing to do as much as my child needs in order to succeed. So that emotional component, it's always there for every single parent. And so the the concern that I have, and the reason why I think it is effective if parents can't separate the emotion from what they need to accomplish in a PPT, is to hire an advocate or an attorney to be able to speak that, you know, in a in a way that isn't going to be offensive to the district. But here are these people that have a great deal of knowledge, and actually there is judicial deference that is placed on these individuals because they work with students, they have the credentials, they understand education, right? And so they come to the table with a certain degree of knowledge and experience. But as a parent, you have a very important voice, you have a seat at the table, and the law does provide that you have meaningful participation. And so one of the rights that parents have is to be at that meeting, at that PPT meeting to develop their child's IEP, lots of acronyms, individual education program, and so and the planning and placement team is the PPT, to be there to express what only a parent would be able to express, which is this is my child, this is what you need to understand about my child. When I was saying before, when I first walked into that PPT, the very first one, I realized I'm going to have to educate the educators, right, about my child. So they may know a lot about education, but they don't necessarily know my child the same way that I know my child. And so it's important, um, I think, you know, just in terms of the educational piece and also the emotional piece, to balance those two things to be able to have a productive conversation with the district. And that doesn't mean that if I disagree with what the educators are saying, whether it be, you know, what my child needs, the placement for my child, whether my child needs an evaluation, whatever it may be, it's very, very important. Even though I have the right to be there and to meaningfully participate, it's very important for parents to listen and to understand where the district is coming from. What are they trying to say and why? And I again might disagree with that, but I need to understand the reasoning behind. So let's just say, for example, that the district comes in to this PPT, and I'm feeling as a parent like my child has so many issues, I'm really concerned that my child is not really making progress. And they come in and they say, first thing, Johnny's doing great, you know, or in my case, Matthew's doing great. And I say, okay, all right. Um, why do you think that? Why do you say that? I mean, that's great to hear. Every parent wants to hear that, don't get me wrong, but why do you why do you think that? And then really challenge the reasoning behind so that you understand. So I think, you know, the meaningfully participation uh right is uh to understand, right? And to make sure that you walk away from that PPT meeting really understanding the position of the district. At the same time, you have the right to express your concerns as parents, and so and that needs to be part of the IEP, the parent and the student concerns. And so that's important to note, and it I see this a lot with parents who call me and they say, okay, I had all of these concerns, and we went to PPT, and the district spent all this time talking about this or that, but I never got an opportunity to express my concerns. And they just ended the meeting. And so that's not meaningful participation. So I just want to make that clear while we're on that topic as well. And the other part of it is that if the district is talking, this is just another example, if the district is talking about the child's progress and they're referring to an evaluation or some reports or some progress updates or draft IEP goals, and they haven't shared that with you as the parent, how can you meaningfully participate in that meeting? You can't. And there was actually just a case that came down uh a few weeks ago about that topic. And if the parent is substantially deprived from being able to meaningfully participate, then they no longer have received their legal right to a free, appropriate public education for their child. So so I mean, I could go on and on about the rights, but I think that's such an important thing to talk about in terms of coming to the meeting and just being a little bit open-minded to listen, to ask questions, to understand, but still be able to express your concerns and to be able to be prepared to meaningfully participate with everything that the district is talking about.

SPEAKER_02 14:56

It's interesting a couple of things that you just highlighted. Um, I think of my wife's response to the first PPT versus my response to it. Uh, she has a master's in elementary ed, so she had conducted PPTs and been part of them uh prior to us participating on the other end. And, you know, one of the things that she said that oftentimes is on the playbook of an educator is to try to make the parents feel good. So you start out these meetings oftentimes and you hear wonderful things about your child, right? And they're not necessarily getting at the problem. It makes you feel good and it makes it maybe brings your guard down a little bit in the process. Um it's interesting that you bring it up. But one of the things that I always think about in my experience with my son is that moment of diagnosis and the the feeling of what I went through. Um and just trying to navigate, feeling overwhelmed, wondering what was next, what his future was going to be? There was a there's a lot there. Um I wonder if you could, given the experience that you've had now as an attorney that's focusing on this, if you could go back and speak to the young mom who was going into the PT PPT yourself in that moment, what would you say to yourself that might have helped in that first PPT? What what maybe some bullet points of of rights that you should have known when you walked in that room for that first PPT?

SPEAKER_01 16:38

Well, I think that the first thing is to understand that under the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act, it's very individualized to your child. So I I would tell myself the 30, you know, years ago mom, the young mom, I should say, you you really need to understand not just your child and your child's functioning, you know, how Matthew was functioning at home, but what did he need in an educational setting and how is that unique to him, right? Because with hearing loss, it's just a very wide range, just like autism. It's it's kind of on a spectrum in a sense, because there are degrees of hearing loss, there are different kinds of communication methodologies, there are different experience levels that you would need. Maybe you have a teacher of the deaf, maybe that teacher of the deaf has only worked with students that use sign language, or maybe the speech and language pathologist, who claims to be an expert, has never had a student with a cochlear implant like my son has. So I think I would tell my younger self going into that first meeting, you need to understand what their experience level is, and can it meet my child's, you know, Matthew's unique educational needs? So it's understanding that it's it's the requirement that the district has to meet the unique individual needs of your child. And that uh the other part, and this is a big myth, I I learned early, early on, is that the school district does not have this the legal standard of providing my child or any child with a disability with the best education. Okay. I went in thinking, okay, you're going to help meet my child's potential, right? You're gonna maximize my child's you know potential here, right? And that's not at all what the legal standard is. The legal standard, uh, which was actually based on a case, the Rowling case, um, involving a child with deafness. And uh the parents wanted a sign language interpreter because they felt that their daughter was not making enough progress. She was missing a lot of what was happening in the classroom. And ultimately, the Supreme Court of the United States said, no, that's that's not the standard. She was advancing and getting good grades. And so the fact that she was missing some things, as long as she's making meaningful educational progress, then that's really the standard, which is a lower bar than maximizing your potential or getting the best education. So I do think that as a young mom going in, that's something that I realized later, but should have known at that point in time. I think it wasn't until I started doing my own research that I discovered that. But that's that's very important to understand.

SPEAKER_02 19:41

So we've talked a little bit of different jargon is coming into the conversation. Um could you maybe elaborate on the difference between an IEP and a 504 plan? Because I think there's I am often confused by the by the the two as well. But I think it'd be helpful to focus on that.

SPEAKER_01 20:01

Yes. Yes. So a 504 plan that's based on the Rehabilitation Act, and that is a federal statute that is mostly it's a civil rights law, it's an anti-discrimination statute. And what that provides for a child with a disability is accommodations. So things like extra time for a child, for example, who has ADHD and is easily distracted, they might need a separate setting in order to take tests, things like that. So there are accommodations. With an IEP and individualized education program, that's that's a higher level for a child with a disability. And what I mean by that is that the child's disability has to adversely impact their educational performance. So with a 504 plan, that child is not adversely impacted by his or her disability in their educational performance. But they do need some accommodations. With an IEP, this is a student, a child with a disability whose disability or disabilities adversely impact their educational performance. And so they need specialized instruction with goals and objectives. So there's a greater accountability there on the part of the school district to provide, say, reading instruction. And there's certain goals that the student might be behind. You know, with just using my son as an example, his hearing loss definitely adversely impacted his educational performance. He was behind about a year in vocabulary, in his language abilities, and so he needed specific goals and objectives in order to catch up and be able to access that general education curriculum, which is very important for kids with disabilities. And so that's the major difference. Um, and with um The IEP, there are additional rights that the parent would have. So for example, if a parent you know gets an evaluation that the district has conducted and they disagree with that evaluation, one of their rights is they can ask for an independent educational evaluation. And so I don't want to go on a tangent here, but just to give you an example of there are greater rights under the child with an IEP. And the second point I want to make with that is with the IEP, it's you know based on measurable data, and so that's what I'm talking about with the accountability part of it. The the district has to show you how your child is making meaningful educational progress. And so there are greater responsibilities on the part of the district.

SPEAKER_02 22:57

We had, in our experience, unfortunately, a situation where we got a printed IEP back from the school and it had another child's name listed on it. They had cut and pasted from a different child's IEP, and that was the point where we felt this isn't really individualized because they're cutting and pasting, they're not really spending the time. Um, and and I even say to this moment, even my son is out of the school still system, has been out of the school system for years now, and there are individual teachers that were just fantastic. And um we decided to um pursue an outplacement for him. Um, and you mentioned that you did that with your son as well. So there were there were just came a recognition that we weren't going to be able to solve this in the standard programs that the school system had to solve solve for his problems. Um and you never there it one of the things in our first podcast is we discussed that there is no perfect placement either. But when should a parent be looking at an outplacement?

SPEAKER_01 24:12

That is the question that I get the most, honestly. And that that's probably about 90% of my practice, really helping parents to discern whether they have a case for an outplacement. Because, of course, the outplacements are so insanely expensive, it's very difficult. I mean, we're talking about an ID league education cost, right? And uh, and your child might be in fourth grade, right? And so uh I think that first I want to reflect back on what I said about the IEP and that there are goals and objectives that are measurable, and then the standard of meaningful educational progress, okay. So the first step is really to look at that closely, you know, and if you have an IEP that doesn't even have your child's name, that is definitely a red flag for sure. But you want to look at, okay, how are they measuring the progress that my child is making? And so that's my first step as an attorney to really look at the educational records and see what does this show me? Is this child actually making progress? So, just giving an example, if there is a reading delay of two years and you're seeing the same goals and objectives each and every year, they're just being repeated. You see comments like on the progress reports, limited or minimal progress? That's definitely not meaningful educational progress, right? And so these are signs that your child is not thriving, is not making that meaningful educational progress that the district is required to provide. That's the legal standard. So that's the first question. Is your child making meaningful educational progress in that public school setting? And if not, and you can prove that, uh, usually we look for an expert. There usually is, I mentioned that independent educational evaluation. That's why it's so critical to have that right because you want someone that's not associated with the school district who can be independent, uh, looking at your child and saying, okay, here's the type of placement that your child would need in order to make that meaningful educational progress. And so I think there is that analysis piece. How do you know when the child is ready for an outplacement? Lots of variety of factors that come into play. So the data is one of them, trying to prove that the district is not meeting that legal requirement. Another is things like the parent gets a call every day. You know, you have to pick up Johnny, and we're not, you know, for whatever reason. Um and so your child's not accessing their education. Grades are part of it, yes. If they're failing classes or you're seeing regression, you want to look at benchmarks, right? That's that's data you can look at. You can look at standardized testing and see. Um if the child is feeling as though they're not measuring up, because a lot of it can be the self-esteem piece of it, right? And educational performance adversely impacting educational performance, that's not just grades, that's also the social emotional piece. And so, does the child not feel like he or she belongs, or is the child being bullied in that setting? So there are all kinds of reasons why a particular placement might not be working out, and signs like the ones that I just expressed. Um and then, you know, you obviously, as a parent, you want the district to pay for an outplacement because, as I said, they're so insanely expensive. And so, how do you do that, right? Uh, parents always, always have the right to unilaterally place at their own financial peril. And, you know, then they can take the child out with a 10-day notice, um, giving the district a head heads up in a written notice that they're taking their child out because they don't believe that the district is providing an appropriate program, appropriate, meaningful educational progress. And so then the parent can place the child where they feel you know that child will thrive. Um, or, but again, at their own financial peril, but then they can go back after the district, um, definitely with an attorney, uh, to try to prove that the district did not provide an appropriate program. So so so how do you know? I I think I answered that question, but the steps in order to take uh action, they would they would vary depending on the situation.

SPEAKER_02 29:04

One of the things as a parent, you the in the in in terms of what you're you're watching your child go through is the fear of that they're just gonna be put in the special ed room and they're gonna be sequestered as opposed to being in a you know, to use the the phrase that probably comes into the law, least restrictive environment. Can you touch on you know that a little bit in terms of what a parent should be looking for and how they should advocate for not only the appropriate educational pro aspects of our individualized program for their child, but also in the least restrictive environment as possible?

SPEAKER_01 29:42

Right. This gets into actually, Steve, the history of IDEA. Uh because back when, before Congress passed uh that law in 1975, if you were a child with a disability, you were shipped out to another school, right? You weren't entering into those doors of your neighborhood school very easily. And so what Congress said was no, that's not okay. We want disabled children to be educated alongside their non-disabled peers, and the qualifier there is to the maximum extent appropriate. Right, there's that word again, appropriate, right? But with supplementary aids and services, if they can be educated in the regular ed classroom, they're really not supposed to be removed. Again, it to the maximum extent that that's appropriate. Uh, and and so separate schooling, other classes, like you said, just sequestering them into a classroom or any kind of removal is not appropriate. So they need to be in the least restrictive environment given their needs. And so that's actually kind of a little bit confusing when you think about least restrictive, because the presumption is that hopefully they can be educated alongside their non-disabled peers in a regular ed setting to the maximum extent that that's appropriate, but it's not appropriate for all kids. All kids cannot thrive within that regular ed environment. And so it's not an all-in-or-nothing kind of thing either. So it's possible that the student, again, based on the unique individual needs for that particular student, that student could be perhaps pulled out into a resource room for maybe the core subjects, reading, writing, math, and then mainstreams, as they say, right, into the regular ed setting for the specials or other opportunities where they can be alongside their non-disabled peers in their neighborhood school. And so least restrictive actually could be along a continuum, um, it could be in the regular ed class, or it could actually be as restrictive as a hospital or other setting, which our brains don't really think that that makes sense, right? Least restrictive in a more restrictive setting. But again, it comes back to what are the unique individual needs of that child.

SPEAKER_02 32:05

And I think what sometimes can happen is as a parent, you want to think that your kid can become, quote, more normalized or be in that normal classroom and functioning at a high level in that normal classroom. So you there is sort of a conflict in emotions that can occur there where you're thinking, oh, I want Johnny to be sitting next to Susie in class and participating fully, but that may not be realistic for Johnny. So you're what you hope for for your child sometimes can interfere with what's appropriate for the child.

SPEAKER_01 32:46

That's absolutely true. Absolutely. I know we all want our kids to succeed and thrive, but we also want our kids to be happy. And when a child is not thriving in a particular normal quote-unquote setting, then we know it, right? The child's not going to be making that meaningful educational progress. There are going to be maybe some behaviors that might crop up either at school or at home. There are going to be signs that maybe that, you know, that environment is not appropriate. But for the parent that romanticizes, in a sense, that their child is going to be able to do what every other child is able to do, that's a difficult thing. And you know, as a lawyer, I think sometimes we tend to counsel people in that way too. And we say, you know, this this is what the school can offer your child. This this is what a placement that your child can thrive in would look like. And then they can, they maybe maybe they can think a little bit differently. So it's it's helping parents to see how their child having the right program that could just set off a completely different trajectory for that child and that they can thrive and be happy. And that's really, as parents, what we want for our kids.

SPEAKER_02 34:00

I I I think we could actually have a separate podcast that would almost be a PPT boot camp for parents to get prepared for a PPT. And I know we've covered a lot today, but if you could break it down to maybe three takeaways that parents should be thinking about in watching this program that they should bring into their interactions with school systems and how they're advocating for their children.

SPEAKER_01 34:28

Absolutely. Well, I think the first thing that comes to mind, and something that we've talked about at length today, is to come to the meeting prepared with understanding the data behind your child's progress. So, how do you know if your child's making meaningful educational progress if you don't have the specific data? And that means that before that PPT, you send an email to the case manager for your child or whomever your contact person is at the school, and you say, Can you please send me all of the progress updates, all of the draft IEP goals and objectives, if we're at an annual review, for example, please send me all of the reports that you have so that I can meaningfully participate in this PPT meeting. And so that that is a huge takeaway, I think, for parents. And I think don't be intimidated by all of these people. It's hard and easy to say, hard to do, but you have a voice for your child, and you are going to be your child's best advocate no matter what. And so the important takeaway here is to listen and to ask questions, but also make sure that your concerns are expressed. So that is an actionable item that I think is critical. And so you may hear something that the district says, you may disagree with it, but I think that it's most important to be able to understand where they're coming from before you take any steps with in terms of you know hiring an attorney or an advocate, really understanding the position of the district and why, and being open-minded. So I think that that's an actionable step too.

SPEAKER_02 36:17

Well, thank you, Terry, for joining me today. Um, and I'm also thankful that you'll be joining me for a future episode with uh another attorney that's also involved in this area of practice. That uh we're looking forward to expanding the conversation uh in that episode. And thank you so much for sharing.

SPEAKER_00 36:35

It was my pleasure. If this episode gave you clarity or encouragement, share it with another family who may need it. Be sure to follow the show so you never miss a conversation. And if you'd take a moment to leave a review, it truly helps other parents discover remarkable futures. Because here, your story matters. Thanks for listening.