Bouncing Back from Burnout - #021

If your to-do list is thriving but you are not, this episode is for you. We're getting real about burnout, rest, and what happens when life feels like one giant game of catch-up. From feeling spiritually drained to wondering why everything suddenly feels harder, we're diving into the reality of burnout as Christians and sharing what we're feeling, practical steps, and reminders that God never asked us to earn our value through being busy. This is your signed permission slip to rest.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:21

This is the third time that we've started this episode.

SPEAKER_02 0:24

Welcome back to a good faith podcast.

SPEAKER_01 0:26

I'm Melissa and I'm Amber.

SPEAKER_02 0:28

And we're your hosts for today.

SPEAKER_01 0:31

We are today, tomorrow, and every day after that.

SPEAKER_02 0:36

Until further notice.

unknown 0:38

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 0:39

How are you, sister?

SPEAKER_02 0:41

Oh, I am so good.

SPEAKER_01 0:44

That's good. Yeah. I'm good as well. Good as well. Today we are diving in. Kind of. We're just, I don't know. I feel like this is going to be. It's hard because every time I like talk about this to someone, I'm like, I just get so what's even the word? Like, like I I'm not a professional. And so like every time I get behind the podcast mic, I feel like I have to be like giving a speech, a presentation, or helping someone in some way. And like that's not the case. That's not what I was even asked to do. So I'm not really sure why I put that kind of pressure on myself. But today's episode is we're talking about burnout. And I think I'm getting all worked up because your girls in it. Big times. Big time. Big time, pal. So I I guess I just have to do a disclaimer. This episode, I'm sitting with you in it. I'm not. We're not like giving advice.

SPEAKER_02 2:02

We are maybe, but like to ourselves also.

SPEAKER_01 2:05

Yeah, this is just a conversational episode. And I was talking to Demi Two before this. Like, you're like, my favorite episode is whenever it was like one of the first ones you guys did, and you guys were just so real in that. Like, yeah. But I probably went home and cried after. So I guess we can start by saying, or talking about what do you think? And I'll chime in too. The difference between stress and like being stressed and being burnt out.

SPEAKER_02 2:37

Oh yeah. I don't know if this I didn't know this was a quiz.

SPEAKER_01 2:43

I mean, it's not a quiz. Hold on, I'm gonna drink a sip of my lique so if you hear fizzing and gulping.

SPEAKER_02 2:53

I think stress is like did you you heard it? No, I just started saying stuff to hopefully something would come about.

SPEAKER_01 3:06

Oh, I thought you were gonna say that.

SPEAKER_02 3:08

So basically for me, stress is more so what's it called? What's that one word? Oh you know that word. I said situational, maybe?

SPEAKER_01 3:24

Yeah, I feel like it can be situational.

SPEAKER_02 3:26

And then burnout is more like of a constant, like blah. Yeah. I feel like that's Does that make any sense?

SPEAKER_01 3:33

It makes sense to me. I, of course, this is I feel like everything that I say, like, not if it's just stuff I know off the top of my head. We do a bit of research before our podcasts, but mostly this is just us blabbing on. But I did look up the difference between stress and burnout. And I it Whoa. Yeah, I just almost had a strong. Have you ever had a dream? Have you ever had a dream that stress is a response to pressure? And so, like, yes, it's situational. So I feel like it's like you're not always like constantly stressed. Well, some maybe something. You could be, and then I feel like that is what leads to burnout. So like there's like these stressors, and then like as a result, like you're stressed. So like I don't know, an exam coming up, you're stressed for that exam, but that doesn't necessarily mean like you're just like burnt out, unless it does.

SPEAKER_02 4:31

So like constant stress can lead to burnout.

SPEAKER_01 4:34

I think so. And then like for burnout, I feel like exactly what you said too. Like it's like a deeper thing, more constant. It's just like a blah, like you said, and a good way to describe it as like depleted. Yeah, it kind of sounds bad saying it out loud that I feel burnout now that I'm like airing out all my dirty laundry over a podcast. But like with burnout, I feel like you have spiritual and physical depletion. And it's just like, I think for me right now, it's like there's so much I want to do and accomplish, and I don't know where to start. It's like I'm so stressed out, but it's like I don't I I don't even need to be. And I think where my burnout is coming from is more spiritual because I I feel like I just have not been in my word, bottom line.

SPEAKER_02 5:43

Me, yeah, I would say me too. Like, I don't know that I'm burnt out necessarily, like work stresses me out and whatnot, but I come home and I'm fine. It's just stresses me out at work, yeah. But yeah, I have not been like in my word the way that I need to be, and so I feel like I just feel like I'm an autopilot. That's yeah.

SPEAKER_01 6:12

I forgot what I'm about to say. Autopilot's a good way to describe it, like Yeah, I just feel like I'm in like this constant cycle. Like you wake up, you I'm in a rush for work, I get to work, never late though, and I work and I forget about whatever I'm at work, whatever, it's fine. Still don't really want to go to work. And then I come home and it's just like ugh. Same thing. I really don't want to cry on this episode, but I can feel it in my throat. I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 6:57

Well, I have this book called The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry by Maul. By Mawk by John Mark Comer. By Tom Mark Como.

SPEAKER_01 7:14

Maw.

SPEAKER_02 7:15

And one of the things that stuck out to me, I didn't finish the book because I'm too busy.

SPEAKER_01 7:22

I didn't even finish that book because I'm too burnt out.

SPEAKER_02 7:26

But he said, if the devil can't make you sin, he'll make you busy. Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_01 7:32

That's a word because it's so true. Because I slip into this weird cycle where like every single day, it's not like it's not on my heart. Like I want to be in God's Word every day because like that is ultimately, and we'll go over this, but like that's where you find your rest. And I know that's the only thing. But it's like I have like this void of well, I know it's my lack of like being in the word every single day, but I have like this void that I'm trying to fill with like projects I'm finishing, or social media that I get distracted on, or just like random things in my head that I need to Google, my Amber and Stone orders, and like keeping up with things at work, and oh my gosh, I can't even get into the thought of meal prepping, grocery shopping, eating healthy, going to the gym. I feel like I'm in a vicious cycle where I'm just like not like I can't I maybe I'm gonna start my period soon. But like I just feel like I can't catch up, and then every day I'm like, I'm so sorry, God. Like I I'm not even like I did it again, like I'm not even in my Bible. And I just feel like that's like I know that that's the only thing, and then I just keep doing the same dumb thing. Then I am so sorry that you have to listen. I'm sorry for everyone just listening to me cry. I'm just a girl, okay. She really is burnt out. She is.

SPEAKER_02 9:17

But no, God knows your heart. He's not like, dang it, Amber, you didn't, you did it again. He knows your heart, he knows you're busy. He extends grace, but that doesn't mean to like not try to change. I think just make little changes each day. Yeah, I feel like it doesn't have to be a whole 360. Not a 360. I always get those numbers mixed up. Turn back and do the same thing. Here I go to define 180. I sucked at geometry. I don't know geometry well, but you don't have to do like a whole whole 180 right off the bat. Just make I'm giving you advice in my this girl's room is still a mess. I never did my spring clean.

SPEAKER_01 10:09

I'm still trying to spring clean you guys.

SPEAKER_02 10:12

No, but like I don't know. I think just making little changes here and there, habit stacking, if you will.

SPEAKER_01 10:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 10:19

You can't expect yourself to all of a sudden wake up at 6 a.m., read your Bible for two hours, then go to the gym, meal prep all before work.

SPEAKER_01 10:28

But I'm trying to do that tomorrow. And that's me every day as I get and that's it all circles in. Like, me as a person, I guess. I I everything just makes sense because I'm this way and I'm that way and I'm that way. And so, like, that didn't make sense. But like, I'm a perfectionist, so like then that also goes into that where it's like if I'm not doing all these things and I just think like God, and I know that he's not mad at me, but I still feel that way, and like I feel like a fraud. I disappoint myself, and I just have to like in Elijah, or not in Elijah, but like Elijah in the wilderness. I feel like that's a good example of like I don't know the story so well, but basically, like he did like something with like Jezebel and Ahab or Abab or whatever the king's name was. Like he like had he overcomed like I think the drought or something like that. So, and also like defeating like all of these prophets, me being a biblical scholar right now. But, anyways, he went out into the wilderness and he did something amazing, and then like he just felt so burnt out and depleted and just empty, and he's just like, God, basically, God take me now, I'm ready to go. Cut the show. And like, God was so gracious in like allowing him to go to the wilderness and just rest and have that time to rest. And he didn't like reprimand the word I'm looking for, he didn't like smack his hand and be like, you need to be better about this, and you need to be more thankful, and you need to do this and that. Like, he gave him he took what he had to say and he gave him the rest, and he provided like the food, like he sent the angel to provide the food or whatever, and like he allowed him to feel that way, and then he filled him up. And I just feel like I need to look at that as examples like God's not mad at me. And like you said, he does show grace, but that was basically the difference between stress and burnout. Oh, I also said burnout happens when we violate God's design for rest, as you know, Sabbath and operate in our own strength, and that is the perfect way to put how I feel right now. Like, I'm just trying to like operate in my own strength, and this is a result. Yeah. Anything else you wanted to add? How you're feeling?

SPEAKER_02 13:34

I mean, I feel similarly burnt out, like I said, spiritually. I just don't think that I'm reading my Bible that much, and like I can tell. Like I just feel spread thin and like I'm just I'm not caught up on anything, I'm just catching up on everything. Yeah, and so yeah, I just and I know it's I am busy, I'm very busy, but I also make time to scroll on reels, so surely I can make time to read my Bible. I just don't, and I do feel guilty about that. Yeah, but yeah, I'm working on that. Last night, I've been trying to make small changes, I'm not trying to overwhelm myself because I will get overwhelmed and then like fall back, but I've been trying to go to bed a little bit earlier, wake up a little earlier, read my Bible for like 15 minutes before work. It's a good I did that this morning. Proud. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 14:50

One day I was still Aggie, but you know, I just feel like another reason why I feel like I haven't been in my word is just like frustration, and like because every time I read my Bible, I just start crying because I'm not like getting what I want, and it's just it's baby stuff. Like, seriously, like I think about it, I'm like, why am I such a brat? And like I have the audacity to be mad at Godwin. Like, I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 15:29

Yeah, it's like you're expecting all this stuff from him, you're expecting him to speak to you in all these ways, and he's like not.

SPEAKER_01 15:36

So I'm like, okay.

SPEAKER_02 15:37

Well then it's also like talk to you later. Well, you expect me to sit here and talk to you and you don't even Exactly.

SPEAKER_01 15:45

And it's like I know all of these things, but it's like I'm a human and that's just how I feel. And I hope no one judges me for one thing about me. If you don't know, I do cry over everything. So there's that. And I forgot the second thing I was gonna say. Violently did say one thing about me. So yeah, I just don't want to feel mad at God for not. I won't even say the word. Giving me certain things. Or certain someone, if you will.

SPEAKER_02 16:24

But I'm gonna be so embarrassed when I hear the Well, you're not going to. You don't listen to that. That's right. I don't listen to just wash your hands of it and No, but I yeah, I mean, I feel the same way. I am 28, single, and then you see everyone around you getting married, having kids on their third kid and whatnot. And I'm like, dang, I'm just behind something's not right. But then that's another thing too.

SPEAKER_01 16:58

You just feel something's wrong with you.

SPEAKER_02 17:00

Yeah. Well, I know something is.

SPEAKER_01 17:02

There are slight things. I I I can count like five fingers.

SPEAKER_02 17:08

For me? For me too. Oh. That's it.

unknown 17:12

I can't.

SPEAKER_02 17:12

Yeah, but I just have to understand that I'm not getting certain things for a reason at this time in my life. As much as it sucks. Like, whenever it does happen, you'll look back and be like, oh, that's why.

SPEAKER_01 17:31

Uh yeah.

SPEAKER_02 17:33

Because Justin Bieber's not single yet. Just kidding. Riley Green is uh Riley Green's still touring and he just wouldn't have the time right now.

SPEAKER_01 17:42

Imagine. It's so out of my league.

SPEAKER_02 17:47

We can share the picture of you and Riley Green on our dump.

SPEAKER_01 17:51

Yeah. That was the best day of my life. Imagine me showing up to my 20-year high school reunion with Riley Green on my arm.

SPEAKER_02 17:58

Yeah, well, my tenure reunion's coming up, and I that was a tough. Sorry. I don't think I'm gonna I'm not showing up empty-handed, I'm sorry. Oh, my husband? Yeah. Yeah, he's working. He's in Greece right now. For work. Oh, what's he do for work? I don't know. He's super rich though. Don't worry about it.

SPEAKER_01 18:21

Yeah, my kids are in camp, so none of them are.

SPEAKER_02 18:24

I just came by myself. I didn't want to wear my ring because I don't want it to get stolen or anything.

SPEAKER_01 18:28

Yeah. I didn't change my last name on Facebook though, either because I just I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 18:32

I just love my last name. It's really cool.

SPEAKER_01 18:34

Rydell just had a nice ring to it. I feel like people couldn't find me on Facebook if I changed it to yeah.

SPEAKER_02 18:40

But yeah, I'm married, uh, two kids. One on the I'm not showing yet though.

SPEAKER_00 18:46

I'm so early, so I'm not showing.

unknown 18:52

Yeah. Right.

SPEAKER_02 18:54

LOL. All jokes aside though, I don't cry in public, so that's the only reason I'm not crying. But you know, we all struggle with our things, with our waiting, with whatever we're asking questions.

SPEAKER_01 19:14

I think it's just like triggering whenever you go home and you're alone. I have to sing so I won't cry. But like eating dinner with what a YouTube video? Great company. Whatever. At least I don't have to like cook for kids, I guess.

unknown 19:37

I wish I could.

SPEAKER_01 19:40

Uh, this episode's just me complaining. God forgive me, Lord. God, I love you. God, I love you, please, Lord, in your time. I know, I truly do. And I believe it's just like certain waves. And, you know, I really do think it is spiritual warfare specifically last night. And just like this, I feel it, and Demi made this point too. She's like, what if it's just like spiritual warfare, like close to this podcast? Like, because the enemy knows like you guys have something good. Because we're putting out such amazing content, and the enemy's like, what? No, those girls are too good. I gotta hide what they have to say. But like last night, I was perfectly fine. And then I don't even know what happened. I think I was like watching a YouTube video about like this girl. Oh, I was watching Tara's uh Italy trip. And for whatever reason, I just like realized that like I'm like, oh my gosh, like I wish I can go to Italy like this year. Like, I haven't been on a trip, I haven't done anything, I haven't like my life is wasting away, blah, blah, blah. And so like then that triggered me. And then just moping around my house. And I drank some chamomile tea to try to try to knock myself out. Try to knock myself out for the night. And then I went to bed. And whenever I went to bed, I I read my Bible for bed. And then I also like listened to my Bible, like as I was falling asleep, just because I just knew something was not gonna go well. And sure enough, had sleep paralysis, and it was very scary, and I just knew it was the enemy, and I didn't see like clear faces, but just like weird, weird things, and I could not get out of it. And so again, I think I've said this before on the podcast like, anytime that happens, all I can say is just. Like, repeat the name of Jesus until I can get out of my paralysis. And yeah, I woke up. I said, How did I know that was gonna happen? And so I just know. And so I've really been like leaning in, and I told myself last night, I said, that's it. Today is a new day, and like I'm getting my life together today. Starting today.

SPEAKER_02 22:34

Starting tonight, actually. Starting after like after this podcast episode.

SPEAKER_01 22:38

Um, but I just want to get into like God's rhythm for rest and work. Like, ugh, I'm rolling my eyes right now when I say work.

SPEAKER_02 22:51

I feel like a lot of the problem is living in America where Yeah. Like work is so praised, and work is everything.

SPEAKER_01 23:00

Work is a good thing. It is, as it is in Genesis, but like it's like there's no balance here.

SPEAKER_02 23:08

No, no, all work, no play.

SPEAKER_01 23:11

Yeah. I just want to get into a good, healthy rhythm, like going to bed earlier, and I don't go to bed ungodly late. Like I would say like 11 30-ish. That's kind of late, but I want to go to bed around like 10, wake up, read my Bible, spend a little bit of time with the Lord. That is the first thing. And like give myself a second to breathe in the morning and like start my day off on a good foot. Because I when I do that, it makes the world of a difference. And so I want to do that. I want to do well in my workday and not feel like I'm not doing enough there. I just have to let that be up to God. Like if I'm supposed to book a wedding, then I'm supposed to book a wedding and not stress like so much about it as I do. And I want to come home. I want to go to the gym after work, do a workout, move my body in some way. I'm not gonna hold myself to, you know, 6,500,000 grams of protein a day, creatine, all of this. I'm not gonna be like that, but I just want like a good balanced system. And I just feel like with all of that working together in tandem, right? I just feel like that would be so helpful. Give me spiritual, mental, and physical rest.

SPEAKER_02 24:35

You know, I have this book right in front of me. It's called 40 Days to a Joy-Filled Life. And I feel like you need to get this book. Can I borrow it? It's like you write in it.

SPEAKER_01 24:48

Oh.

SPEAKER_02 24:48

I didn't finish it. I don't finish anything I start, but that's just me. But I am gonna work on going back through it, and it like kind of touches on all that like rest and just like ways to find joy in your life every day.

SPEAKER_01 25:06

Yeah. I need like right now I'm doing I'm reading through Psalms and Proverbs. And I feel like if I have like a, and that's me with everything. If I go in with a plan, it makes things that much easier. Like a reading plan or like something, come some kind of study, something to keep me accountable. Same thing for like the gym. Like, if you go walk into the gym without any idea what you're gonna do, like it's kind of a wash. Like, it's not gonna be like a great workout. You know what I mean? And I feel like that same way, like with the Bible, like, yeah, you can open it and just like hope for the best on whatever page, but that's not all like how that works all the time. Like, I feel like going in with like a plan or uh I I don't know, like a certain passage that you're gonna focus on and like meditate on, then that helps too.

SPEAKER_02 26:03

Yeah, I've been liking that enduring word website. It's so good. You cannot be trying to like study James. I don't know. I just wanted to study that book for some reason, and it's been really good. You need to get this Bible.

SPEAKER_01 26:19

Yeah, I do. It's the most helpful Bible ever. Well uh oh, what the Bible says about rest. Basically, we need it. Not only like, like even if like you're not a Christian listening to this, like as a person, as a human, you need rest. You need sleep, like scientifically, like your body can't function unless you have like sleep. Like that's what regenerates your whatever's inside of your body. Like, you need sleep and rest. And the same thing goes for like as a Christian, like you have to find rest. And there are just so many examples, like biblical examples of rest and commands of rest. Like I mentioned it before, but Elijah and First Kings, he's just like the perfect example of being just completely blowed out and depleted, and God just like giving you and find or you finding rest in God. And one thing that stood out to me in the story of Elijah is sorry, my nose is like running because of oh my tear. But God, you know, like that whole like God was not in the wind, God was not in like whatever else, like he was the still small voice, like he is the still small voice, like in the quiet. And that right there is what I highlighted. Like, that's all I need. Like he is the voice in the quiet, he is the one like in your desolate, like uh place that's gonna give you that rest and that endurance to like take on the next day. Also, like there's plenty of examples of Jesus finding rest, and the biggest thing is like if the Lord had time to rest, I should have time to rest. Yeah, like for real. Like he was healing people doing whatever else to all like the crowds, and even he would just like slip away and like find rest and like go out to the wilderness and just pray and be in in communication with with God, and that just put things into perspective. Like, if the Lord of the universe like can find time to like take a nap ski, go pray, I surely can. Like, I'm not that important to wear I I can't take a minute. I'm gonna need a log.

SPEAKER_02 29:27

You can take a beat, trust me. Take a second, trust me, you're not that guy, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 29:31

And like even him, like, I forget what story it is, maybe Mark I have written down here, but he like encouraged his disciples to sit and find rest. And he made it a priority to just like retreat. And I feel like he sets an example for everything else in the world that we need to do. So why am I not following that? Like, I just I don't know, for some reason, like resting, I just it doesn't clock. Yeah, I feel and then obviously like the Sabbath, like that was God's whole design. And I will say it's a little messy for me right now, and there's really no excuse, and I do take like a day to just like be, but my days are messed up because my work schedule, and I work like this weekend or this week, for example. Tomorrow is a Wednesday, I'm off on a Wednesday, and then I'm off on Sunday. So it's just like random days, and then like the next week I'm off on Wednesday and Thursday. So I really need to just like make it a point to like really honor the Sabbath and spend that time with the Lord that day, and just not have like a million things going on. I do want to start fasting too.

SPEAKER_02 31:03

I think resting is like you have to dang, what's that word? It's a discipline. Like, because you that is so true. You can feel uh guilty for resting, and you just have to like discipline yourself to just do it, even though you have things to do. Like you just gotta rest. You have to make yourself rest.

SPEAKER_01 31:31

And vice versa. Like for me, like I feel the guilt, like, or it's a discipline because like I'll be scrolling on my phone. Like, I'll get on my phone to do something like semi-important, and then next thing you know, you're on some form of scroll. And so I'll be like, oh no, no, no, wait, no, no. You no, you can't be doing this. Like, you need to you need to read your Bible. And then, like, it's like that scroll where you just can't stop. And I'm like, why do I have no discipline? Like, it's the discipline for me. Same thing with the gym. I ain't never in that place. No discipline at all. I know.

SPEAKER_02 32:10

Well, I gotta discipline myself to wake up earlier because I don't want to go to the gym at 5 p.m. You can go after work because you get off earlier, but 5 p.m. at the gym, you won't find me there.

unknown 32:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 32:25

So it works.

SPEAKER_00 32:26

It's a gift and a command, the Sabbath.

SPEAKER_01 32:32

Well, that's kind of all I have. I have like highlighted things here that I wanted to share. Just like words of encouragement slash hope. And basically everything that we just talked about, but all in one bow. Rest is biblical. Like, we shouldn't feel the guilt to do it. Your value isn't based on your output. So kind of like we were saying, like about if like Jesus is able to find that rest, like you can't do. Like, you're not like I just don't uh that sounds really bad. Like, I don't want to say you're not valuable, but like it's okay. But we're not as like, you know, yeah important as Jesus. I'm just saying, like, your value isn't based on all of the things that you can get done in a day. Yeah. So take a beep. And then seasons of burnout don't disqualify you. And that resonates with me because it's like, like I said earlier in the podcast, like, I'm embarrassed, I'm disappointed, I feel guilty, I feel like a fraud imposter syndrome because I feel like I've always been like, you know, I I try to be the best Christian I can, and I genuinely want to live my life full out for Christ. And then like recording an episode like this, I'm like, or even just like feeling this way and not having the joy of the Lord and stuff. Like, okay, whose are you? I'm like, what what are you doing? And so sometimes I do feel disqualified, but these seasons like allow the Lord to bring you out of them, and they don't disqualify you. And then lastly, touching on that same thing, like God can restore joy, can restore energy and purpose for your life. Yeah. Period. Period dot. Period dot. That was intense. I'm sorry I cried. No one messaged me about this either. She's fine, I'm not sure. I'm okay. Really? Really now. I'm fine. Yeah, I'm good. Yeah, but I am sorry that I cried, but again, I'm just being honest. Real. Authentic. I'm just a real girl. But anyways. I love you. If anyone needs any encouragement, um, I can try my best. So shoot me a text, shoot me a message.

SPEAKER_02 35:19

Pour from an empty cup.

SPEAKER_01 35:20

Sure. We love you guys.

SPEAKER_02 35:22

Love you. See you next week.