Self-Help Is No Help At All: The Freedom of Letting Jesus Lead

Self-Help Is No Help At All: The Freedom of Letting Jesus Lead 

In a culture obsessed with self-help, self-improvement, and self-reliance, what happens when trying harder still leaves you exhausted, anxious, and overwhelmed? 

In this powerful episode of Journey to Loveland, Maronda explores the difference between relying on yourself and relying on God. Drawing from scripture, personal experience, and biblical truth, she challenges the popular belief that we can fix, heal, and save ourselves through our own strength. 

Through verses like Proverbs 3:5-6, Philippians 4:6-7, Matthew 11:28-30, and 2 Corinthians 12:9-10, you'll discover why true peace isn't found in striving harder—it's found in surrendering fully to Jesus. 

In this episode, you'll learn: 

✨ Why self-reliance often leads to burnout and frustration
 ✨ The danger of trying to carry burdens God never intended you to carry
 ✨ How to move from self-help to God-reliance
 ✨ Why God's strength is made perfect in our weakness
 ✨ Four practical ways to let go of control and trust God more deeply
 ✨ How surrender leads to freedom, peace, and healing 

If you've been carrying the weight of trying to be "Superwoman" or "Superman," this episode is your reminder that God never asked you to save yourself. He simply asks you to trust Him, follow Him, and allow Him to lead. 

Put down the cape. Release the burden. Let Jesus take the driver's seat. 

Because true healing begins when self-help ends and faith begins. 

🌸 Journey to Loveland is part of the Chickology Podcast Collective, where women come together to heal in the open, grow in truth, and walk forward with courage, compassion, and faith.

🌸 About Chickology™
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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hey y'all, welcome back to the Journey to Love Land Podcast. I am super excited that you all are here with me on today. So if you are new here, welcome. Thank you so much for joining me. This is a great place for you to be. It's a soft, sacred space for people to come who are healing and growing and learning to love themselves the way God intended. This is a place where you can just come and feel safe. You can just really learn and understand how to love yourself more, how to love others more, how to receive God's love. This is a Bible-based podcast. So I do provide scriptures. So if you want to take some notes, go ahead and grab your pen and paper as we get started to get into today's episode. Journey to Loveland is proud to be a part of the Chicology Podcast Collective, a community of women sharing real stories, real faith, and real transformation. Thank you all so much for joining me on today. Take a deep breath and settle in and remember that your journey to love and healing starts here with me. And my name is Miranda. If you've been with me before, welcome back. I am excited about today's topic. We're going to be talking about self-help. You know, and is self-help really helpful? The term self-help became really popular in the late 20th century, you know, when we had shows and all these talk shows like Oprah, we had these talk shows that, you know, really trying to help you. Ricky Lake, I'm dating myself talking about Ricky Lake, but all these different shows that's really trying to provide you with information on how to get better, how to be better, and how to rely on yourself for the betterment of your overall life. You know, self-help is the act of providing for and helping, or the ability of just focusing on helping yourself, relying on yourself, relying on your own strength and your own abilities to make your life better. And this is really not biblical because self-help is shifting the focus from God to focusing more on yourself and how can you do all the work? What can you do? And when Jesus Christ died on the cross for our sins, he died on the cross because he wanted us to be saved. But then when we come into the family of Christ and we're Christians and we're saved and we receive Jesus Christ as our Savior, we're now relying on Him. All the work was done on the cross, everything was done, not to say that you're not going to have your struggles and go through some things, but you're not in this alone. God wants you to lean on him, rely on him, and trust him for your strength so you can be able to be the best version of yourself and not overanalyzing it, not uh putting too much pressure on yourself, being so introspective that you can't focus on nothing but yourself. Self-help in the world's perspective shines a bright light on yourself and encourages you to just really focus deep in within yourself. And that's like self-absorption, you know, it's a prideful thing sometimes because if you are just really so inundated on yourself, you can lose focus on everything else around you. You think that you have to do everything on your own in your own strength. And I remember uh when I was, even as a Christian, I will remember people will say to me, I was a young mother, four children, married, had a household, tried to make everything look picture perfect on the outside, and people will say, Call me superwoman. Oh, you're superwoman. And I actually at the time took that as a pride of honor. And now when I look back on it, it wasn't a pride of honor because a superwoman, her capabilities and her strengths was coming from within herself and the superpowers that she held, her natural powers that she held as a superhero. When we become into the family of Christ, God is our superhero. She had her own uh powers that she utilized, but God, we are able to lean in and to embrace and to utilize, to tap into his supernatural powers. God's abilities, his powers, his strength is more than anything we can ever imagine. His power, his strength, his love, his support, his healing is bigger than any superpower, any superhero can have on this earth. But a lot of times because we're so self-absorbed, we think we can do it on our own, or we think that we have to do it on our own because maybe we saw our parents doing it that way. We saw people around us, strong women. You know, we have to be strong, we have to be do it all on our own. You know, unfortunately, there's so many single mothers out there. So we feel like we have to do life alone. But you know what? God says, I got you. God says, I am here for you. And C.S. Lewis says that true humility is not thinking less of yourself, it is thinking of yourself less. When you come to Christ, you are a royal priesthood, you are fearfully and wonderfully made, you are divinely chosen by God Himself. And so when you choose to surrender to Christ, you're thinking of yourself less because it's like, you know what? I'm gonna take my hands off of this matter. I need you, Lord. I need all of your supernatural strength and your power. And he asks us to lean on him. His word says to lean on me, trust in me, and to rely on me, and I will make straight your path. He says that when you are weak, I am strong. So he's telling us that, and he's reminding us on a regular basis that I will never leave you nor forsake you. He's telling you that I am here for you, that you can lean on me, that my burden is light. You can lay your uh burdens down on me and you can take up my yoke because my yoke is easy. He is telling you that you know what, life does not have to be difficult. Yes, you're gonna have some moments, but with me, it can be easy, it can be light. The burden is not so heavy because guess what? I'm carrying this cross with you. I'm carrying this cross, just like I mentioned before in another episode that when we have this picture, and I don't know if you remember or you're familiar with the footprints poem where and they have a picture where they're uh you're walking on the beach with Jesus, and after a while you only see one set of footprints. And why is that? It's because Jesus is carrying you, he's helping you, he's uh carrying the burden, he's carrying that load, and that's what he is asking for us to do instead of relying on ourselves, instead of thinking that we can do it all on our own, self-help is not really help at all. It's limited, it's relying on your own limited abilities as a human. But when we understand that self-help is not biblical, we need to cast our cares onto him because he cares for us and he wants to help us to get through everything that we are going through, everything we're encountering, whether it's a loss, whether it's heartbreak, whether it's pain, divorce, we lost a loved one, a job loss, um, sickness in our bodies. He says that you know what, I got you. I'm here for you. Just trust me, just rely on me. This is not about you, this is not about what you can do. Yoke up with me, link up with me. You're gonna be okay. So I want to encourage you today, uh, just like Mary in the Bible, when it talks about in Luke 10, 38 through 42, when Mary is sitting at the feet of Jesus and he tells her that this is the good thing that you are doing, that this is the better thing that you should be doing, not running around trying to do all these things, exhausting yourself. Because again, when I had that mindset that I had to be this superwoman, I had to get it all done, I had to be perfect, I had to look perfect on the outside, even though I was really miserable on the inside because I was exhausted, um, I was mentally drained, I was angry and frustrated because I didn't cast my cares on to God. I didn't give it over to Him and say, Lord, I can't do this. I need you, I can't do this without you. I was doing it in my own strength. And so my strength is limited. Yes, you're gonna have those tired moments physically in your body. But when we lean on God, he will give us moments of rest. We can rest in him. But I wasn't taking those opportunities to rest because I wanted the kids to look a certain type of way, my household to look a certain type of way. I wanted my husband to be taken care of. I had to be this perfect person, right? And then people looked at us on the outside and was like, oh my gosh, you're superwoman. I remember somebody actually gave me a plaque that said superwoman. I took that in like a pride thing, like, oh my goodness. And you know, pride comes before a fall. That's also a scripture in the Bible. And it's just like, wow, I think I got it all together, you know. And then again, I was mentally drained, I was miserable, I was exhausted, I was hurting, I was gaining weight, um, I was lashing out at my husband. It just became something that God never intended for us to carry. God never intended us to carry these burdens on our own. He never intended us to be this superpower person that um is lean is relying on our own strength to get things done in life. So I want to encourage you today that if that is you on today, if you're that superman, superwoman, and you feel like you have to do all of this stuff on your own, I want you to cast your cares on the Lord. I want you to give it over to Jesus. Romans 12 and 2 reminds us that we have to renew our minds and understand that by the renewing of our minds, you're resisting cultural conformities, you're resisting those things that the world is telling you to do. And it says to do not be conformed of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. And it says that by testing, you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. That's what Romans 12 and 2 says. So when you're transforming your mind as you come to Christ, your mind is being transformed. All those old limiting mindsets, so this superwoman mindset that I had, even though I was in Christ, but really just getting into my word and just setting aside that private time and that really praying and asking the Holy Spirit to reveal some things to me so I can be healed in that area, so I can have peace in that area of my life. I had to really get back into my word. Having your Bible in your hand on Sunday and not really delving into the word and asking for understanding, you're really going to miss a lot of important nuggets that are really helpful because the word says that Jesus Christ died on the cross to give us life and to give us life more abundantly. And you're when you have an abundant life, you have a fruitful life, you have a peaceful life, you have a life that is filled with joy and laughter and love. And when you're bogged down with your own self-reliance and your own self-absorption, you're not able to really enjoy the life that Jesus Christ died on the cross for you. You might call yourself a Christian, you might say that I go to church every Sunday, but you're not a you're not at peace. You don't express God's love towards others because you're lashing out and bitter. And that's why when you see so many bitter and angry Christians, you know, they call themselves Christians, but they're angry, they're bitter, they're lashing out, they're not happy, their marriages are falling apart, right? And we know that the marriage rate in the church is just as high as it is in the world because again, people are unhappy, people are not um understanding what it really means to uh trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding, but in all your ways, acknowledge him. And he will make straight your path. He will, if you acknowledge God, say, Lord, I need you. I can't do this. This is too much, this is overwhelming. I get my I take my hands off of this, Lord God. I trust the process. I trust that you're gonna take control of this. You know what's gonna happen. Reading this book about self-help and going to this seminar and going to another class and pairing for another therapy session is not gonna help me. Then I encourage you, if you are a Christian, to seek out a Christian counselor, a Christian therapist, someone who believes in the word of God that's gonna implement scriptures into the counseling process. But therapy counseling is not something that is gonna happen for the rest of your life. They're gonna give you the tools that you need, and you're gonna take those tools, you're gonna take those scriptures, you're gonna take those things that they provide for you, and you're gonna use them to enhance your life, to continue to incorporate into your daily life, not to depend on them for everything. God uses counselors, therapists to help us, not so we can be dependent on them. I don't have to rely on God, I can do everything on my own. No, that is not the mindset to have. Again, be transformed by the renewing of your mind, letting go of these uh cultural concepts and conforming to these inward things, but all but transformed to what God is saying, relinquishing your desires, your thoughts, your bad habits, and all these things, these limiting mindsets, and allow God to transform your thought patterns, the way you think about things, the way you understand information, the way you process things that's going on around you, right? So God wants you to do that in his presence. God wants you to process things that maybe are weighing you down in his presence. Sometimes when we're overwhelmed and we have a lot of things going on in our lives and we're trying to take on all of these things on our own, we become anxious, and anxiety is not of God, right? And when we become anxious, that means we're not trusting God. Philippians 4, 6 through 7 in the English Standard Version says, do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication. So you're coming to God, you're praying about these things, right? And then it says, and supplication with thanksgiving. Let your request be made known to God. So you are going to him with a thankful, expectant heart, thanking him and believing that you know what? God is gonna help me through this, he's gonna give me peace, he's gonna provide whatever I need. I don't have to worry about anything because worrying is not of God, it's not gonna change anything, it's not gonna add to anything. And worrying is actually a sin because if we're worrying, where's our faith, right? If you worry about your children all the time, where's your faith? What your what you should do is pray for them. What you should do is if you're a Christian, Lord, I trust you with my children. Lord, I trust you with this situation, Lord, I trust you with my health, Lord God, I trust you that you can help me to get through this. I don't have to do it on my own. I don't have to be a helicopter mom. I don't have to um micromanage my team. I don't have to do all these things because I know that I've done everything that I can do, and I'm Lord God, allowing you to do the rest. God will meet you where you are. He didn't say not to do anything, not to take responsibility for the part that you need to play. He's provided you with the strength, the tools, the wisdom, right, to do what you need to do. But also, you don't have to hold on to the situation with a vice grip where God has no room to intervene because he's not gonna force you, he's not going to pressure you, he's not going to bully you into accepting his help. He's like, you know what, I'm a gentle God. I'm gonna come in and I'm gonna help you. That's if you want my help. That's if you ask me for help. God knows that you need help, so it's like, isn't God all knowing? Doesn't he know I need help? Of course he does. But he wants you to ask for his help. So God wants you to come to him. It says, all of you who are heavy, laden, and burdened down, I will give you rest. So God understands that if you are heavy with something, if you're taking on the burden, come to me and I will give you rest. Come to the in the presence of Jesus, praying, being thankful. It says, let your request, we're going back to Philippians 4 through 6. It says, Let your request be made known to God, and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. So when you decide to let it go, don't be anxious, don't worry about it. There is a peace that comes over you that is like a blanket that just overrides everything that's going on around you. And it says it surpasses all understanding. You don't know where this peace is coming from, you don't know what's happening, and it will guard your heart and your mind. So your mind now is guarded. Your heart is guarded, and you can rest in God, knowing that everything is working out for your good, everything is turning around, that you're able to continue with your life and do the things that you need to do, knowing that God is in control, knowing that He has a final say, that you're not in control of the matter, but God is in the control of the matter. When we are in control, we're limited, right? When we're in control, the plans fail, you know, things that we may want to do fail, but nothing is too hard for God. God never fails. We may not get the exact answer that we want, but he never fails because he knows what's best for us. And he's gonna give us what's best for us. We may not always like the outcome, but when we look back on it, we can be like, you know, well that it was good for me. It was good for me that he answered it that way. It was good for me that I was rejected because it protected me from the downfall or the negative backlash that came along with it when you look back on it and say, it was good for me that I didn't marry that person. It was good for me that I didn't move to that state. It was good for me that I didn't buy that house because you know, if things didn't work out the way I expected, God wants what's best for me. I trust him and know that he wants what's best for me. So it's really good for us to really stop and understand what is going on around us. And how can we do that? By getting in your word on a daily basis, by praying and asking God for wisdom, asking the Holy Spirit for direction, asking the Holy Spirit to show you what is going on around you. And it's okay to ask for that because the word also says that you can go to God and ask for wisdom and he will give it to you without rebuke. Self-reliance on yourself is non-existence. It's like, yes, Lord, I need you. And he's like, Okay, I got you. He wants us to lean on him, he wants us to rely on him, he wants us to ask for help. So I want you to really be encouraged today to ask your Heavenly Father for help. And if you're not a Christian today, I hope that this encourages you to get in your word, to open your Bible, and just to really start reading the Word of God and making a decision to surrender to Christ Jesus on today. So if you're taking notes on today, I want to just share a few things with you that hopefully again will encourage you to lean not on your own strength, but lean more on God's strength. Uh, the scripture that I want to share with you right now is Proverbs 3, 5 through 6. It says, Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways, acknowledge him, and he will make straight your path. Self-help is saying, I got this, I'm gonna figure it out. I don't need nobody's help. I'm on the island alone. But faith says, I trust you, Lord. I can't figure this out on my own. I follow you today, Lord. Where are we going? What's happening, Lord? So, one of the biggest traps of self-help is believing that we can just learn enough, plan enough, or work hard enough, and everything is gonna fall in line. There's gonna be no problems, we can solve everything that comes along the way, but God invites us to trust him even when we don't understand what he's doing. We may not really feel comfortable in it, but that's a good place to be when you're uncomfortable. God will give you peace. Give it over to God, trust in him, start transforming your mind. I may not have to understand this, I don't really need to understand it, but I know the heart of God, I know the heart of my father. And that's what I do understand. I know that he loves me with an unconditional agape love that will never change, that has no hidden agendas. I want you to know that the love of the Father is always there. It will show up for you and show out for you like never before. And so if you lean into it, you'll be able to experience that. So, number one again, is stop trusting your understanding and trust God's wisdom with Proverbs 3, 5 through 6 as the scripture that I read earlier. Number two, stop carrying every burden and give it to Jesus. I mentioned earlier how exhausted I was, and many of us are exhausted. Some of you on here today might be exhausted because you're carrying all your worries, your fears, your disappointments and responsibilities that you were never meant to carry. You aren't never meant to carry these things alone. Yes, you're gonna have to go through life carrying your cross, right? Like you pick up your cross and carry it, but guess who's helping you carry that cross to get to where you need to be, to get to the other side so you can see joy and sunshine and victory, and you have a testimony, which means that you have something to say that I know God, I've experienced God. He brought me from sickness to health, he brought me from crying to dancing and celebrating. You know, just like with Job, if you read the story of Job, where he lost everything, but he was able to restore double and give him more than what he could have ever imagined. So God wants to give you more than you can ever imagine. So let's look at Matthew 11, 28 through 30. It says, Come to me, all who labor and are weary and who are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. This is the scripture that I was referring to earlier. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light. So God is saying, You know what? Come to me. That's the first thing he says, Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. So you're working hard, you're doing this thing again in your own strength. And God says, Come to me. I'm here to help you. For I am gentle and lowly in heart. He says, I'm gentle. You can lean on me, you can lean into me, I will embrace you, I will hold you up, I will carry you through this, and you will find rest for your soul. What an awesome promise to know that God will allow us to rest in him to. Take a break to take the load off and say, Lord, I just lean back on you. I rest in you. I find peace and solace in you. I can take a break knowing that you know what everything is not going to fall apart, that everything is going to be okay because my daddy got me. And so I want you to know that your daddy's got you on today, that he wants what's best for you. He wants you to lean into him, he wants you to rely on him. He wants you to know that there is rest for your heavy souls. Self-help says, try harder. Jesus says, Come to me. We hear all these uh seminars about burnout executives and people and leadership are burning out. It's because, again, you're trying to do everything in your own strength. And a lot of times, because maybe you're on here today and you're not a Christian, you're not a follower of Christ. Yes, you that's that's something that you've probably been taught is to lean on yourself. I have to do it all on my own strength. I can't trust anybody else to get it done. So I have to do everything, I have to be the one. But God is telling you, you don't have to be the one. Come to me. I want to help you. You know, He will give you more help than anyone can ever give you. So I want you to know that you can trust God. Number three, stop depending on your strength and rely on God's power. Depending on your own strength is not helpful at all. It's not self-help at all. It's burnout, it's going to get you weary and frustrated and angry. There comes a point, you know, when your strength runs out, God's strength never runs out. That's often where God begins to show up. When you come to the end of yourself, when you finally say enough is enough, and you come to the end of yourself, that's when you start realizing and tapping into the power of Jesus. God is waiting right there saying, Come on, daughter, come on, son, I got you. Let's look at 2 Corinthians 12, 9 through 10. It says, But he said to me, My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. So his power is perfected when we're weak. So that means it becomes even more powerful. So isn't that an again another awesome promise? When you get into the word of God, you really understand that he is there for us. He loves us so much that he will be there in every situation for us. It says, Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly of my weakness so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. I can say, I'm I'm glad I'm weak because I don't have to do this on my own. I'm glad that I need help. I'm glad that I can rely on God. You know, that's not something popular to say in this day and time, right? That we're saying we're glad that we are, we are weak. We are glad that we need to rely on somebody else. We're glad that we need to rely on God. But God is saying, be glad that you can rely on me, be glad that I'm here. So it says, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then I am content with weakness, insults, hardships, persecution, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong. Your strength and your power comes in the reliance of Jesus Christ. When you are weak, that's when the strength comes, that's when the power comes. That's when God is saying, You know what? Let's do this. You know, now uh that power is being activated. Now you're able to lean more and surrender more and yield to the Holy Spirit. 2 Corinthians 12, 9 through 10. Jesus Christ says to me, My grace is sufficient. I'm all sufficient, God, I'm all-powerful God, I'm all-knowing God, I'm all-present God. So he is there for you. Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses. Paul's saying, I'm gonna boast in my weakness. I am gonna boast in this because I can release on God. So I want you to boast and say, I go to the feet of Jesus and say, Lord, I am glad that I am weak because I know what you can do to help me in this situation is gonna be more powerful than anything that I can do, right? So just know that God isn't looking for self-sufficient people, he's not looking for you to have all the answers. He never asked you to help him. He doesn't need your help, he doesn't need you to be his assistant. He is saying, surrender to me. God is in charge, he has the final say, his strength is greater than our own. So just know that you may think you're strong, you might be physically strong, but that supernatural strength you need to get through these obstacles in life, you need to tap into Jesus. Your self-help, again, is limited. You cannot do anything apart from God. Apart from God, you can do nothing. So John 15:5 says, it says where Jesus says, I am the vine and you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit. Apart from me, you can do nothing. So when you're in with God, you're bearing fruit, right? So you're partnering up with God, you're linking, he is the vine, and you are the branches, you're branching off from him. So all this power that he's giving you, you're branching off. It's a reminder of our resilience on a higher power, on our on God's supernatural strength. Me thinking again, I self-help, I got this, I'm gonna do it all on my own. It's really telling us who are you relying on today? Who are you leaning on today? Trust God, lean into his strength, connect with him, be with a branch so he can pour into you, so he can give you the energy that you need, he can give you all the power that you need because without him, you can do nothing. I want to encourage you today to just to continue to rely on God, to continue to lean on him. Number four is stop trying to save yourself and follow Jesus. The greatest illusion of self-help is believing that you know we can become whole apart from God. Jesus teaches uh that true life is found not through self-perseverance, but through surrender. You must surrender to God. In order to be whole, in order to be all that God has created you to be, you need to surrender to Him. Matthew 16, 24 through 26 says, Then Jesus told the disciples, if anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. You have to let go of who you think you are, this superwoman, the superman, oh, I think I can do it all, and follow Jesus. Take up your cross and follow Jesus. For whoever will save his life will lose it. So scripture, Matthew 16, 24 says, and 26, it says, Then Jesus told his disciples, if anyone will come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. Or for whoever will say, save his life will lose it. But whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul? So you know what God is saying, you know what, put down everything, let it go, deny yourself of these uh fake, false, worldly ideals that you can do it all on your own and come with me, take up your cross, take up whatever you have going on, and follow me, follow Jesus. And when you follow Jesus, you are able to gain the strength that you need. You will find life in Jesus, you will find life in who He has created you to be. And that is the English standard version, but I want to read to you the message version. It says Matthew 16, 24 through 26. The message version says, Anyone who intends to come with me has to let me lead. You're not in the driver's seat. I am. Don't run from suffering embraces. He's saying that you know what? If you need some help, you have to let me lead. If you come into the body of Christ and you surrender your life, there's the word surrender. You're surrendering your life to Jesus. That means you're letting go of whatever you're holding on to, and you have to get out of the driver's seat. Self-help means I'm in the driver's seat. I take control. I have the final say, I'm gonna make all the decisions. But God is saying, No, I'm in the driver's seat. Don't run from suffering, embrace it. There's gonna be some issues, there's gonna be some problems, but embrace those areas of weakness because you're telling God, I need you. Like Paul said earlier, I rejoice in this. I'm happy that I'm weak. I'm happy that I need some help from God because I don't want to do this on my own. And it says, follow me, and I'll show so show you how. I'll show you how to embrace the suffering. I'll show you how to embrace the hardships and how to get through them. Not to say he didn't say you have to like it, but he said embrace it because that's a part of life. All of us are gonna experience something, right? But in order to get through it, we have to embrace it and know that this is a part of my journey, this is a part of my path. I had to embrace my divorce. I didn't want to go through that, but I had to embrace it because I knew this was a part of my journey. This is a part of my story, my journey to loveland. This is a part of what God had embedded in my story. No, I didn't like it, but it brought me closer to God. It allowed me to understand who I am. And I can say that now I'm better for it. I'm able to be in a better situation where I'm able to get married again. I still need to surrender. I still need to rely on God because I can't go back to the old ways of thinking. Remember, renewing your mind, uh, transforming your mind, and not thinking on those old mindsets and those old ways of doing things because that didn't work for me. It didn't help me. It didn't help me to experience that abundant life that Jesus died on the cross for me to have, right? So I had to understand who's in the driver's seat. So I'm reading Matthew 16, 24 through 26, the message version that says, anyone who intends to come with me has to let me lead. You're not in the driver's seat. I am. Don't run from suffering, embrace it. Follow me, and I'll show you how. Self-help is not help at all. Self-sacrifice is the way, my way to finding yourself, your true self. So even the message Bible is telling us that self-help is not help at all. Self-sacrifice is the way. Surrendering is the way, letting go is the way, it's God's way. I want you to know that there is the beauty in surrendering to Christ. Surrender is not losing. Surrender is freedom. It's waking up every day knowing that you don't have to figure everything out. You're trusting God with your future, you're trusting God with your children, you're trusting God with your health. It's allowing him to write a better story than the one you were trying to write yourself. His ways are not our ways, his thoughts are not our thoughts. So anything that he can do is way better than anything that we can do. It's recognizing that healing isn't something that you have to manufacture and create on your own and try to manipulate and maneuver. It's something God performs within you as you walk with him. So as you walk with God, as you surrender to God, these are things that's going to automatically happen. Healing is going to happen in God's presence when you surrender to him. Joy, peace, uh, success, progress, right, is going to happen in the presence of God as you surrender to him. The goal isn't becoming the best version of yourself. The goal is becoming more like Christ, becoming more loving, more humble, more kind and gentle and long-suffering and patient and gentle and holy because he is holy. That is what you're trying to do. You want to be Christ with skin on. You want to be able to be a blessing to those around you, to your children, to those that you uh in the workplace, as if you're a supervisor or a leader. You want to be an example for them to look at you like, wow, this is the best supervisor I've ever had. She's so kind, she's so loving. She listens to me, he listens to me, they understand me. They're a good leader, they're not micromanaging me. Your children are looking at you, they're watching you, they're able to take from you and learn from you and to rely on God because you're showing an example of who God is. You're coming, becoming more like Christ. You're able to be there for your family where they can come to you and ask you for wisdom, prayer. You can touch and agree with them. You can continue to pray for your community and this world that we live in that needs so much prayer right now, right? So I want to ask you, friends, as we're wrapping up this uh episode on today about self-help. And is self-help really help at all? No, I don't think so. It sounds more like exhaustion, it sounds more like burnout, it sounds more like I'm relying on myself. It sounds more like superwoman, superman. God never asked you to save yourself, God never asked you to be the superhero in your story. He he said, Let me be your superhero, let me help you, let me show you the way. And the way that you can do that is you can relinquish control. And I want to ask you today, what burden are you carrying that belongs to God? What dream, what relationship, disappointment, fear, or timeline have you refused to place in God's hands? What are you still holding on to today? Today, Jesus is inviting you to move from self-reliance to God reliance. Not because he wants to take something from you, but because he wants to give you something better. He wants to give you peace, purpose, freedom, and ultimately he wants to give you himself. So maybe you've spent some years trying to save yourself, trying to earn worthiness, trying to fix only what God can heal. Today, friends, I want to invite you to surrender your life to Jesus. The Bible says in Romans 10 9 through 10, if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. So today I am inviting you to surrender your life to Jesus Christ. I want to invite you to surrender and put down the cape, put down your self-reliance and surrender and give your life over to Jesus Christ. So let's pray. Dear Jesus, I know that I'm a sinner, and I believe you died for my sins. I believe that you rose from the grave and I repent of my sins. I accept you today as my Lord and Savior. Thank you for your love and mercy. Thank you for the gift of salvation. Help me to live for you and serve you all the days of my life in Jesus' name. I pray. Amen. So I hope that this episode encouraged you. I hope that you understand and realize that you know what, self-help, there's nothing wrong with wanting to be better. But you know what? God wants you to be more like him. God wants you to be uh to rely on him, to lean on him, and not to be anxious and fearful and worn down and burnt out. He wants you to find rest and peace in him so you can live the life that he has died on the cross for you. So let's close out this episode in prayer because I always close out my episodes in prayer. Heavenly Father, thank you for loving us enough to lead us. Forgive us for the times that we have tried to take your place in our lives and carry burdens you never asked us to carry. Teach us how to surrender, Lord. Teach us how to trust you, Heavenly Father. Help us release our timelines, our fears, our plans, and our need to be in control, Lord God. Shape us into the people you created us to be created us to be. Remind us that our identity is found in Christ alone, and that true freedom comes through obedience to you. Strengthen every listener, Lord, who is struggling to let go and help them experience the peace that comes from placing their lives fully into your hands. In Jesus' name, amen. I hope that this episode blessed you all. I hope that you were able to take from this that self-help is not help at all. But you really need to rely on God. Don't burn yourself out, don't think that you can do it all on your own. God wants to help you, He wants to be there for you. So thank you so much for spending time with me on the Journey to Loveland podcast. My name is Miranda. And if today's episode encouraged you, please consider subscribing and following. Leave a review. Um, put in the comments what you liked about this episode and share it with someone who may be carrying the weight of trying to save themselves and do it all on their own. And I want you to remember that God has great plans for you, He wants the best for you. Healing isn't about becoming a perfect version of yourself. I want you to remember that it's about becoming who God created you to be. And that's why we're here on today to support one another and becoming all that God has created us to be. So until next time, keep growing, keep trusting, and keep journeying toward the life that God has for you. Journey to Love Land is part of the Chicology Podcast Collective, where women come together to heal in the open, grow in truth, and walk forward with courage and compassion. I want you all to remember that God is with you. Healing is always possible, and your heart is always worth coming home to. Until next time, be encouraged and have a great day. Thank you for listening.