When You Lose Your Spark | Is God's Presence Enough?

There are seasons when God feels close.

And there are seasons when you wonder where your fire went.

In this episode of Unspoken Stewardship, I share why I've been away from podcasting, what the Lord has been teaching me in the quiet, and why I had to confront an uncomfortable question:

Is God's presence enough?

We'll walk through Psalm 27 and Matthew 12 as we explore:

• What happens when you lose your spiritual spark
• Why we often desire God's gifts more than God Himself
• Jesus' compassion toward the smoldering wick
• How personal revival begins
• Why God's presence is the greatest gift of the gospel

Whether you've been following Jesus for decades or you're simply exhausted, my prayer is that this conversation reminds you that you are not beyond God's patience.

He is still breathing life into weary hearts.

Scriptures Discussed:
• Psalm 27
• Matthew 12:20
• Psalm 73:25
• Exodus 33:15
• Philippians 3:8-10

If this episode encouraged you, consider sharing it with someone who feels like they've lost their fire.

Remember:

A smoldering wick He will not quench.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Welcome to Unspoken Stewardship, where faith, culture, and responsibility intersect. Unspoken Stewardship is a thoughtful, honest podcast exploring the responsibilities we carry but rarely discuss. From faith and finances to culture, technology, leadership, and discernment, this podcast examines what it really means to steward our lives with wisdom and integrity. Hosted with depth, clarity, and compassion, each episode invites listeners into conversations that challenge shallow narratives, confront cultural blind spots, and calls us back to faithful living beyond what's preached, posted, or publicly praised. Hi you guys, my name is Dr. Lynn IBS and welcome back to Unspoken Stewardship. It's been a while. It's been a while. And if I'm being transparent, I haven't really known how to come back. Not because I didn't have ideas, not because I wasn't studying or because I didn't necessarily have the content, but because somewhere along the way I realized I was wrestling with a question that I wasn't ready to answer out loud. And it was, is God's presence actually enough for me? So today isn't just a podcast episode, it's a confession, it's a testimony, and maybe prayerfully for some of you, it'll be an invitation to your own personal revival. Because the truth is, I haven't always believed God's presence was enough. There have been seasons where I wanted his answers more than him, his direction more than him, his provision more than him, his promises more than him, and his presence felt wonderful as long as it came attached to something that I felt like I wanted and needed. But when God became quiet, when prayers seemed delayed, when certain doors stayed closed, when disappointments continued to linger on, I found myself confronting something ugly in my own heart. I wasn't just seeking God, I was seeking what God could do for me. And when those things weren't happening on my timeline, I started feeling distant. Not because God moved, but because my expectations had become louder than his presence. And maybe that's part of what I've been wrestling with. Not just whether God's presence is enough. But if I'm being honest, it's like where did my spark even go? I call this year a beautifully broken year because I have experienced what it truly means to have joy and suffering, to have suffering and sovereignty, to have joy and grieving, be simultaneous in my life, and still experience God's presence in such a tangible way that I didn't think was possible for me. So it's like on one hand, I was experiencing the joys of celebrations, of graduations, and weddings and birthdays and accomplishments and all the things. And then on another hand, I'm grieving. I'm going through my fair share of suffering, even now, if I'm being honest. I'm battling so much mentally, physically in my body, and I have, or at least I believe God has put me in positions where I'm surrounded by his people to experience joy and to experience his sovereignty and his presence in a specific type of way. And even in my grieving, even in my suffering, I'm realizing that the hope is not solely happiness, but the hope is that he's with me. And I've been wrestling with that for a while. So maybe you can probably even remember a version of yourself that your fire burned brighter. You know? I know I can. Days when worship felt effortless, days when prayer wasn't something I scheduled, days when opening my Bible didn't feel like another thing on my to-do list, days when God's presence wasn't something I was trying to get into. It was something that I carried. There was a tenderness there, there was a hunger, a joy, a spark. And somewhere along the way, I found myself looking back at that version of me, wondering where she went. And maybe you know exactly what I'm talking about. Maybe you remember when you first got saved. When you remember your love for Jesus didn't feel so complicated. You remember when obedience wasn't something that you constantly debated. You remember when your heart burned and yearned for the Lord. And now maybe life happened, right? Disappointment, church hurt, maybe waiting happened, suffering happened, maybe nothing dramatic happened at all. Maybe you just slowly drifted, not away from God per se, but just away from the wonder and the awe and the delight of him. And one day you wake up and you realize you're still here, but you're smoldering, right? You're not dead, you're not gone, you're alive and accounted for, you're not unbelieving, you're still a Christian, but you're just not burning in the way that you used to. And for a long time, I thought that disappointed God. I thought feeling like that disappointed him. I thought God was looking at my weakness, thinking, you should be way further along than this, you know? But then when I came across Matthew 12, and I hope you can turn there with me, but it says a bruised reed, he would not break, a smoldering wick, he would not quench. It says nothing about the roaring fire, right? He's talking about the smoldering wick, the flame that's barely holding on that feel like it's if I'm being quite frank, just feel like you're crawling for your salvation. It's the ember that still exists but feels weak. Jesus specifically points to that person, not the strongest person in the room or the most passionate or the most productive, but the smoldering one. And scripture says he would not quench them. He doesn't throw them away, he doesn't move on to someone more useful, he doesn't shame them for struggling. He doesn't say come back when you're on fire again. But instead, he comes closer. Because what I'm learning is that Jesus is not intimidated by weak faith, he's not repelled by a weary believer, he's not exhausted by people who have lost their spark. He's compassionate towards them. And maybe that's why this season has been so important for me. I feel like in my flesh, it'd be giving, like, dang, look how far I am from him. Like, he's not paying me no mind. Like, look how far I am from him. But I feel like security in his character and knowing and believing his character, I feel like it gives, like, look how committed he is to finishing the work he started in me. And when I rewired my brain to think like that, I was like, oh, it's okay to come to God with almost nothing, not a roaring fire, but a willingness, even if it's a weak one, even if it's an imperfect one. The kind that says, Lord, I don't even know what I want to pray today, but I want to want to. Lord, I don't feel passionate today, but I want to. I don't feel close to you today, but I want to be. And do you know what I've discovered in that? That that's enough. That that's literally that's enough. Not because my willingness is like impressive, because quite frankly, it's not, but because Jesus specializes in breathing on embers. The spirit of God has always been the fire, and that's the gag. It's not me who brings the fire or ignite the fire. It's not me, it's not my discipline, it's not my consistency, it's not my strength, it's not my works. The same Holy Spirit who ignited the flame is the same who can sustain it. I don't have to worry about sustaining or igniting my flame. And maybe some of us need to stop trying to manufacture revival and simply let God breathe on what's left because you're not a lost cause. You haven't gone too far, you haven't waited too long, you haven't failed too many times. You are not the exception to God's patience. A smoldering wick, he would not quench. And maybe revival doesn't begin when we become strong again. Maybe revival begins when we finally bring God our weakness and stop pretending that we're fine. Maybe it's with a simple prayer, like, Lord, I don't have much of anything left. Hello? But what I do have, you can have. Breathe on it again. So before we even go any further, I want to ask you the same question the Holy Spirit has been asking me. And it's if God never changed your circumstances, if he never gave you the relationship, the promotion, the healing, the opportunities, the breakthrough, would he still be enough? I want us to go to Psalm 27 and we're gonna start at verse 4. It says, One thing have I asked of the Lord, that will I seek after, that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and to inquire in his temple. If you pay attention, David says one thing. He says, One thing have I asked of the Lord. Not 10 things, not a wish list, not an answer prayer, not a strategic plan, but one thing. And his one thing was the presence of God. And what amazes me is where David writes this. He isn't sitting on a beach just chilling. You know what I'm saying? He's surrounded by enemies, he's facing uncertainty, he's facing pressure. Yet his greatest desire is not to escape from his circumstances, but it's God's presence. One of the most dangerous things about Christian culture is that we can learn how to desire blessings without desiring God. We want the peace, we want joy, we want favor, we want breakthrough, we want healing, we want purpose, and there's nothing wrong with wanting those things. There's nothing wrong with praying and desiring those things. But if we remove God from the equation, we'll still want those things, and that should concern us because God was never meant to be the means, he is the reward. The reward is him. Sometimes God allows us to walk through seasons where nothing else satisfies, so we can rediscover what our soul was actually created for. Not his hand, not what he can do for us, but his face. The Lord has been showing me that many of us don't know what we're worshiping until God stops feeding it. So when success slows down or when opportunities stop, when life feels dry, when the relationship doesn't come, when life doesn't look like the vision board or what you imagined, suddenly things like frustration can rise, anger can rise, disappointment can rise, and often what surfaces isn't just pain, it's worship that's been misplaced. Because whatever you believe you need to be okay is what you're ultimately trusting at the end of the day. The presence of God revealed these things. And I don't believe it's to shame us, but it's to heal us, is to allow us an opportunity to repent and ask God, like what is it about you that I don't trust? And if I'm being honest, part of why I stepped away from podcasting for what it's been like two months, is because I realized I was spiritually tired, and not necessarily tired of God, but I was just tired of carrying expectations. I was tired of trying to figure everything out, I was tired of looking like the quote unquote strong person. I was tired of wondering what was next. I was tired of wanting answers, and I found myself coming to God with a list of things instead of longing and beholding him, just being intimate with him and just spending time with him to spend time with him, not because I wanted and needed things. I wanted clarity, but God wanted communion with me, you know. I wanted direction, but he wanted devotion with me. I wanted movement in certain areas of my life, but God wanted intimacy. And slowly through prayer, silence, repentance, local community, and honestly, the Lord, and just being honest with him, the Lord began gnawing my heart. Not because he gave me everything I wanted, but because he reminded me who he is. And I had to admit to him, Lord, your presence doesn't feel enough to me. It just doesn't. I want healing and I want you. I want this and I want you. I want that and I want you. And you know what he did? You know what our good father did, honey? He didn't condemn me. He didn't. He met me exactly where I was because God is not intimidated by honest prayers, he already knows what's in our hearts anyway. So the beginning of revival is not pretending whatsoever, it's telling God the truth. Personal revival doesn't start with emotional experiences, it's not about just crying at the altar and weeping at a good worship song and whatever have you. It starts with our affection. When God becomes beautiful again to us, when scripture becomes alive again, when prayer becomes a conversation again, when worship becomes more than just songs, when Christ becomes our treasure, our greatest reward, the greatest evidence of revival isn't just being excited, you know? It's about delight, it's about God Himself becoming enough for us. Because at the end of the day, the gospel is not ultimately that Jesus came to improve our lives, the gospel is that through Christ, we are reconciled to God. The greatest gift of salvation beyond contrary to belief is not heaven, it's God. That is the gift. God is the gift. The greatest miracle isn't just provision, it's presence. The greatest blessing isn't what God can give and do for us. It's that we get God Himself. Everything else is secondary, and that's something that I'm constantly in a space of praying that my heart always answered because I don't always feel that way. Like I said before, I do be wanting God and the thing. Whatever my fill in the blank is for that day or that week or that month. Sometimes I do want God in that thing. And once again, it's not to say that God won't give you the thing. It's not to say that it's bad to have those prayers. It's not even to say that it's not in his will. But if it's not in his will right now, or even if it's not in his will at all, are you going to seek his face and trust his heart? So I feel like for me personally, I've just been in this place where I genuinely am constantly posturing my heart to seek his face and trust his heart, and not just the things that he can do and provide, and not feeling like I have to be strong all the time, and not thinking that I can't just come to him and just rest in him and just spend time with him without all the extra stuff? So here's the question I want to leave you with. What if the thing you're longing for most isn't actually the thing you need most? What if the breakthrough you're searching for is actually an invitation back into deeper intimacy with him? What if the Lord is calling you, not into another season of striving or hustling or whatever, but into his presence? Can you seek with him without an agenda? Can you worship him without a miracle? Can you love him without conditions? Can you trust him when nothing changes? Because eventually every believer must answer this question Is God enough? Not his blessings, not his gifts, not his promises, but him. And my prayer for both of us is that day by day our answer becomes yes. Even if it trembles, even if it's imperfect, even if we're still learning, may we become people who can genuinely say, Whom have I in heaven but you? And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you. Yes and amen. Okay, so yeah, y'all. I just wanted to come back and let you guys know where I've been. Thank you so much for people who have been reaching out to me personally and asking me if I'm okay. Thank you for your thoughts and prayers. It genuinely means a lot to me. I love you guys so much. Thank you for being patient with me. Thank you for still rocking with me. Okay, I'm here. We're gonna continue this journey with the Lord. We're gonna continue this journey with each other, and I just pray that yeah, you guys will just hear my heart on this episode, and we're gonna continue this journey together. So I will continue to have episodes every week. I'm back. Hello. So I love you. Jesus loves you more, and I will see you next week. Bye. Thanks for listening to Unspoken Stewardship. You are seen, you are loved, and you are entrusted. And what you do with what you hear matters. So make sure you steward it well. And let me say this clearly: this podcast is not a substitute for your child of God. Go sit with him. Open your Bible, pray, wrestle, test everything you hear, including me, the way scripture tells us to. Let the spirit lead you into truth. Think deeply and don't outsource your discernment. If this conversation is strengthened you, make sure you're following so you don't miss what's next. Share with someone who might need it. And if it's been a blessing to you, leave an honest review so it can reach beyond this space. So until next time, store your life faithfully, love God deeply, and love people well.