Conni Lee

Conni Lee is a standup comedian, improv-er, speaker, and a wedding officiant from Norman, Oklahoma!  In this interview we cover all of that and also spend a lot of time chatting about Comedy and mental health.

Check out Conni's website here!

Transcript

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SPEAKER_02 0:17

Hello and welcome back to the Clean Comedy Chats, a weekly podcast where we interview uh different comedians from the Clean Comedy Collective, which is a virtual network of comedians all across the country. We currently have about 240 um from 39 different states. Uh the goal is to get 50 by the end of the year. Uh, I don't know if we'll get there, but if anyone knows any comedians in Arkansas or Hawaii, those are two of the states that we're missing. Um, and I'm your host, Drew Davis, and I'm here. Uh I bring a different comedian each week. Uh, some of them I know, uh, some of them I don't know, uh, some of them I know a little bit. And it's just really fun to talk to them and talk about comedy and talk about their life. And in this, I hope I get to make a new friend and maybe you get to meet your new favorite comedian. So those are a couple things to look forward to with this podcast. Another thing I just want to remind everyone about is uh we do have a Patreon. Uh, we have a Patreon that you can uh donate to and join and become a member. And one of the biggest perks right now, uh debatably the only big perk, uh, is uh you get longer episodes, you get the full interviews, and sometimes our conversations last an hour or less. But like, for example, the past two episodes uh with our comedians, uh, we have 30 extra minutes of content. So if you enjoy what they're saying, you want to hear more about their stuff, it's always a hard decision for me to what to cut. So I love doing the Patreon because I could just put the whole thing on there. And if you want to pay a little bit of extra money, you can listen to it. So that's something to check out on our site, uh, cleancomedycollective.com. Uh, with that being said, I'm ready to get into our interview for today. Again, thank you so much to everyone who's here and listening and participates and talks about the podcast with me and hopefully tells all their friends about it. Uh, today we have a very special guest, Connie Lee from Tulsa, Oklahoma. Connie, how how's it going?

SPEAKER_00 1:56

Uh I'm good, I'm good. I I originally am from Tulsa, but I currently live in Norman, which is in the Oklahoma City area. So that's right.

SPEAKER_02 2:05

I knew that. I I knew that because I well, I remember seeing that uh on your stuff and being like, I've never heard of Norman, but that's so it's kind of near Oklahoma City then.

SPEAKER_00 2:13

So yeah, it's where the University of Oklahoma is. So okay, very cool.

SPEAKER_02 2:18

What what are uh aside from the university, uh have you well, have you lived in Norman for a while?

SPEAKER_00 2:22

Uh or are you have, yeah. We moved here in 1993, uh, due to a job uh transfer that I have, and and so I just have kind of settled in and you know, and stay here. So yeah.

SPEAKER_02 2:37

Here's what I know about Connie, and then we're gonna get to talk to her and learn a lot more. But I know she is a comedian, she is also a speaker, and something that we kind of have in common is she is also a wedding officiant, and that's kind of what I wanted to get started with the podcast. Uh, that was my first most interesting topic. So, Connie, I don't know if you'd know this about me, but um, I am a former youth pastor. I was I did ministry for 15 years, I'm ordained, so um, I've also I also occasionally do weddings as well. Um, I so I'm wondering like, are you uh are are you efficient because of like a former pastor ministry background, or are you efficient because you're like state ordained or like you know?

SPEAKER_00 3:15

Well, so my son uh got married, and uh so his uh fiance now my daughter-in-law asked me to officiate. I I mean we were just kind of sitting around and I said, Oh, I guess I could I could marry you, you know, kind of joking, and and uh she said, No, would you? And so I was like, Okay, I don't know how to, you know, what to do. And basically you pay 50 bucks to someplace up in Seattle, and they send you all the documents and all this kind of stuff, and then boom, you're an official.

SPEAKER_01 3:50

There you go. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 3:52

And Oklahoma doesn't require any kind of registration or anything like that, so you just have to sign the wedding certificate as or wedding license and marriage license, and uh and off you go. So the joke that I tell is that she asked me to officiate the wedding because she needed something old.

SPEAKER_02 4:14

I like that. Man, I I am I I am just impressed with your daughter-in-law. Like, that's gotta take guts to look at your mother-in-law to be and be like, how would you like to run the ceremony?

SPEAKER_00 4:30

Yeah, and then she uh, you know, what I've found is a lot of the the younger people that that are getting married now, they don't want the formal, you know, church wedding and stuff, they want it to be relaxed and fun. And so she I was like, Well, I can look at some jokes or something. And then she asked me, she said, Well, how long is your set? And I said, My set? She said, Yeah, during the wedding. I was like, I'm not gonna do a set during the wedding.

SPEAKER_02 5:02

Oh man, that's funny. You you should you could have done you could have had, oh my gosh, what a story to have that you told you did a comedy routine at your son's wedding.

SPEAKER_00 5:11

Yeah, like a roast of your son. And it was a real small wedding, you know, that they've been together a long time, and uh they have an 11-year-old son, and um, you know, so it was fun to incorporate him into the ceremony, and you know, but yeah, it was my son. I was wedding, and you know, I was like, I can't joke about that. I was, you know, a little reclimped, you know, during part of the ceremony, you know.

SPEAKER_02 5:37

So so so you uh you're also a comedian, uh, which is how we met you through the Clean Comedy Collective, and and you're part of our network. Um, I'm interested, how long have you how how long have you done comedy, Connie?

SPEAKER_00 5:49

So in 2019, I began improv uh and took uh five levels of improv and stuff, and then became part of a troupe. And and we still perform uh all these years later and stuff, the group makeup has changed, but you know, we're still uh we're still out there. And um, and I uh I just loved to hear people laugh. So the theater that I took improv lessons at, they had a stand-up comedy class. And so I went to that, and um, that got me into my first open mic, you know, with very little direction, you know. It was like, I want you to go to an open mic after our first class, I want you to before our next class, go to an open mic. And I said, I had to ask, well, what do you what can we expect at an open mic? I've never been to one, so I don't know. And so he told us about signing up and you know, all of the things. And so I went and um it was the most it was so much fun. The experience, uh, the community was so welcoming. And um, while I was up there and I didn't have any jokes, I so I just thought of a funny story and told it. And of course, looking back, you know, it was a disaster, but it's okay. It was our first time, right?

SPEAKER_02 7:15

And so um, so the uh the response, you know, everybody was clapping and cheering, and I had people come up afterwards and give me some tips, which I was like, hey, I just started this thing, you know, but right, um, but it was just so non-in in hindsight, I I imagine you can understand now that like comedians don't come up and give you tips after the show unless they think that you're someone worth giving tips to. So what a compliment that they felt comfortable coming up to you, you know.

SPEAKER_00 7:46

Yeah, yeah. And it it was just really uh really a nice uh pleasant experience and a nice surprise. So um, so yeah, and and um so after that, then you know, of course, during the class we got it more into joke writing and performing tips and all that kind of stuff. And I've taken a couple other classes since then, and um, because I I uh career-wise, I was an engineer for 40 years, so um, so I'm very, you know, structured, you know. A lot of people are like, ah, just get up there and riff, you know. Well, brain won't let me do that, you know. So um uh, but uh, but yeah, and also as an engineer and working a woman in a mostly male field, you know, I had to really lighten up the mood a lot uh from working. And so humor became my, uh I don't want to say crutch, but uh, but it was my go-to for when things got really serious and you know, the men would just, you know, get so worked up over, and I was like, it's just work, you know, we gotta laugh and we gotta release, and then we can get back to it, you know. Sure, yeah. So I I got to where I would just crack up jokes all the time and you know, and they got used to me, you know, no one got mad because I, you know, and all the presentations that I had to give to different uh different folks, you know, it really prepped me for being on the stage and and you know, being kind of loose and being able to present. So yeah, so stand up was kind of a natural became kind of a natural thing for me.

SPEAKER_02 9:30

So that's wonderful. So now uh you work clean because you're part of the clean comedy collective. Do you only work clean or do you you you do you you work your all the I don't I don't know what the I don't I don't love say do you work unclean? That's not the phrase that you use.

SPEAKER_00 9:47

And and clean has got such a I mean it's got this wide band of what is clean, and um, you know, I don't think a lot of the public even understands what clean is, you know, and so I think it's dependent on us to kind of define that for them. Um I I I have I'm I'm I do a my favorite thing to do is innuendos. So uh, you know, whether those are clean or not, you know, usually if I'm doing something that at someone's requested a clean show, I won't go there. You know, I'll leave those jokes aside. Uh if I'm in a comedy club, then I bring them out. I don't use language, uh, you know, I I don't do that. I um uh I don't do it in improv, you know. Now if you see me in out in the yard I'll bets are off, you know, around the house, you know. Yeah, because I was an engineer, so I learned.

SPEAKER_02 10:50

Are engineers known for having like potty mouse? Is that a is that a thing?

SPEAKER_00 10:53

Oh my gosh, uh yeah, yeah, yeah. Several, you know, it's just a a frustration thing. That's something I learned today. I I uh I can Well, I mean, it's office talk, and I I think that's true of any office, not just engineering, you know, but uh but yeah, certainly you get into that a little bit. Never uh, you know, if it if it's used in anger, that that that gets a visit to HR, you know.

SPEAKER_02 11:18

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 11:19

But it's usually just some frustration, blowing off steam, or you know, just a well placed, well placed uh, you know, word in a you know, in a again to to try to change the temperature of the yeah.

SPEAKER_02 11:35

Sometimes it's just those words, it can uh express our passionate emotion about the circumstance that we're in. And at work, sometimes it helps. Uh but um you are so right though, it's hard to define clean. And I find, you know, so if you're ever booked on a clean show, the best thing to do is always ask the producer, you know, like when you say clean, what do you mean? I find as a producer, it's always in my best interest to when I right from the beginning, let my comedians know when I say clean, this is what I mean. And I find also if you're producing a show, checking in with the venue. So, like we have we have like kind of qualification, like what we say for clean comedy collective shows, this is what we mean for clean. But whenever I have a new venue, I'm always asking, like, hey, here are the three rules we give comedians. Do you have anything else you'd like us to add? Uh some of them, some of them are like extra clean, and they're like, Oh, add this as well. And it's like, okay, but other shows we don't have to worry about that as much.

SPEAKER_00 12:34

So um just the I've also run into, you know, where people want, you know, the dirty stuff, and I'm like, well, I don't really have, you know, I what I don't, you know, we're very edgy PG13 type stuff, you know. But um, but yeah, that's kind of I always think that's kind of an odd request, you know. It's one person for a group of a hundred or whatever, you know, that they're making this commitment for.

SPEAKER_02 13:01

Do you feel do you ever feel bothered if you like are in a room where like they want the really dirty stuff and you're like, that's not my material. Do you feel like are you just like, well, I'm gonna give them what I I got?

SPEAKER_00 13:12

Or do you like try to try to match their energy or like well, how do you how do you you know, I I was at a bar um in in a in a showcase and um you know, and so I tried doing a few, you know, F bombs and stuff, and it didn't fly because I wasn't comfortable with it, you know, and I thought, well, let me just try this, you know, and so I tried it and you know it it didn't get a punch or anything, and and so I was like, okay, then you know, we're just not gonna do it and stuff, you know. But like I said, the one the jokes I've got that are in you windows and stuff, those usually satisfy, I think, the people that are looking for that kind of stuff. So yeah.

SPEAKER_02 13:56

I I agree. And it is it's it's taken me a while to be okay with that, like um, like the the people that want like the dirtiest, crassest material probably won't love my stuff. Um, and and and even the other end is very true for my stuff. The people that like want the cleanest of the clean, like just squeakiest, most conservative Christian, clean church show kind of stuff, they'll probably leave my stuff being like, ooh, he was a little edgy. Uh, which some like a mean friends will laugh at the idea of me being edgy, but but I've learned I I I I and I used to really feel like I was inadequate because I couldn't reach those audiences as well as I'd want to. But like I really feel like it helps me to quake comedy kind of like music, like we different genres, different styles. We have bands that are in the same genre that we prefer that we don't, and like as you develop as a comedian, your act develops as well, and it really does find its own identity. And that the the the better you get, the more you won't be for everyone, and then you'll really be for some other people. Um, and uh, so me as a people pleaser that used to really frustrate me because I want everyone to love me, but um, I'm realizing now that like you know, it's some people like yourself and some people maybe not as much, you know.

SPEAKER_00 15:12

Yeah, yeah. It's just that um I was in a clean comedy festival last um last fall, and our crowds, you know, were not um we're not there, you know. And and I said, you know, I think the problem is, you know, you advertise as clean comedy and we know what that means-ish, you know, but the general public doesn't know, you know, and so they're not showing up because they think it's gonna be boring, or they, you know, think it's for kids, or you know, that there's you know, you can have adult jokes and you know, that are for adults that aren't for kids, you know, and still be clean, you know. But um right, but I think that that's a big challenge is to convince the public, you know, that it's really funny stuff, and it's like a Jim Gaff again, you know. But he's a clean comedian.

SPEAKER_02 16:11

He's my favorite, yeah. He's he's my favorite comedian.

SPEAKER_00 16:14

Yeah, yeah. He's a he's a clean comedian, but he doesn't go advertising as as a clean comedian, so and I love that too.

SPEAKER_02 16:21

I don't I I since since the clean comedy collective's gotten bigger, it's kind of hard to get out of the lane of clean comedy for me. But I do I always say that I'm uh just a comedian and I can work clean shows and I can work not clean shows, and I think I think that I I prefer it that way because when it at the end of the day, we're just entertaining people, you know. Yeah, um, but that is you did bring up a good point. It is hard. One of the hard parts about marketing a clean show is how much do you say it's clean? Because on one hand, you don't want to push people away because there is a taboo thanks to well, we'll just you know, thanks to clean comedy that's not funny. Uh so people are like, Oh, I don't want to do clean comedy, but then you also have people that they are looking for a place that they can come with some of their kids or their grandma, or or maybe like they aren't into all the crass stuff, but they want to go to a comedy show, so yeah, you kind of want to market clean to them because you know you'll get those people, but you don't want to push the other people away. Um so so with with our shows, with a lot of our posters, uh, we we put the bubble on it to let them know it's a clean comedy collective show. Uh, but we don't really heavily, you know, unless it's specifically asked for us, we don't really heavily say, like, oh, this is a clean family-friendly show, bring, you know, like your, you know, uh, and because then I feel like a lot of it's uh once the show starts, it's up to the comedians to help set the tone, you the host to to be funny and clean and to make you feel comfortable coming to a clean show and kind of stuff.

SPEAKER_00 17:48

So yeah, yeah. It's tough. I I've been asked to do uh, you know, a family friendly, you know, event with kids, and I I just turn those down. I just, you know, uh, because I don't do, you know, uh poop jokes. I don't do, you know, you know, what did the green dragon say to the blue dragon? I mean, in my mind, that's that's what kind of jokes you do for kids. And I know that uh the improv theater in Oklahoma City, they have a squeaky clean show for kids, and and that's the kind of thing they do. They make fun of fairy tales and things like that. So I have that in my mind. Whether that's right or wrong, I I I don't know, but I I just transfer that to stand-up that I still want an adult audience, you know. But um, because I don't go, you know, I don't want kids to get bored and they don't get any of the jokes, you know. So yeah.

SPEAKER_02 18:45

Well, good for you for knowing your lane and staying in there. And I and I think as you develop as a comedian, that's important. When we first start, it's like you kind of want to learn the basics, you kind of want to learn the things that work for everyone. Uh, but eventually, as you grow your act and as you grow your comedy career, you want to kind of start uh being you more unique so that when people are like, I want to hire that person because of that thing, yeah. Um, and so it's it's important to kind of as you grow to figure out your lane or whatever. So so Connie, when you think about uh all the the shows you've been part of and the comedy things you like, what uh what's like a fake do you have a favorite comedy moment or like to your at least up to this point, like the the best show that you've ever done, or the and and by that I mean like why for you it was the best? It doesn't have to, I'm not saying like what's the biggest audience you've ever performed for, or like what's the most you ever made on a comedy show? I'm talking like when you think like this was my favorite comedy show. Do you have a one that pops up? And then the follow-up question will be like, what makes it your favorite show?

SPEAKER_00 19:51

Yeah. Um this was early on, it was uh year and a half ago, I guess. I went to uh uh in San Antonio, there's a all women uh comedy festival, and that was the first comedy festival I went to. And you know, it was such a great experience. Um, I came down there prepared to do two sets, and I had an important lesson uh the first night I was there, which I wasn't scheduled, but some comedians didn't show up. And the owner of the club said, you know, can you do five minutes? And I was like, Okay, you know, and I mean you don't you don't turn things down, right? Somebody says, I need you to do 10 minutes tonight, or I need you to do eight minutes, or you know, just get up there and and do five. The answer is always yes, yeah, you know, and thank you, you know. And um so I remember him giving me that opportunity. And so during that weekend, I actually got three times uh to be on stage, and um, and that really built my confidence and stuff in terms of you know working with the the audience and and things like that. So that that that whole weekend was great. I made a lot of contacts there with other female uh comedians. Some have become good friends and in comedy. So um, so yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 21:17

Yeah, that's that's great. I love, I mean, I think some of my favorite comedy experiences have happened through comedy festivals. I think uh it it you know, it's just it's something special uh for comedians listening. If you ever get a chance to apply and get accepted into comedy festivals, it's it's a lot of fun and you should do it. Um and now you had mentioned uh you had mentioned I'm gonna tie kind of two things together here. You'd mentioned being an engineer, being a woman in a prominently male field, and and the struggles of doing that for 40 years. Uh, and I've also I've done comedy enough where I realized that's that's probably a similar tale with comedy as well. Do you feel like you were better equipped for it when you started getting into comedy? Because you, I mean, you were used to used to this kind of vibe and engineering and here it is in comedy or is it does it make you like hypersensitive to the the issue is it like um or are you are you do you feel like you can handle it better than some of the other ladies or like let's just talk about women in in comedy yeah so the lack of women in comedy yeah there's not enough women in comedy for sure uh and more shows need to have female comedians as part of their you know showcase one because of the feedback I get from audience members is they love the female energy and stuff so I think it really builds into a show to have you know a mix of genders and stuff for it.

SPEAKER_00 22:41

You know when I realized that it was kind of a male dominated thing I was like oh my gosh I just spent 40 years fighting this stuff. And now I'm you know my second career I'm looking at are you kidding me? You know how do I get so lucky you know but right um yeah so um I I I think what uh helps me more is that uh because of my life experiences in uh engineering um you know I've had to deal with all kinds of people from tradespeople to um uh chief engineers of NASA and uh you know executives and things like that.

SPEAKER_02 23:25

So I've got this and then everybody in between you know and I think that helps me to relate to uh to different people uh different ways and stuff and I'm I'm actually more comfortable around men as a result you know because I just have never I haven't worked around women that much and so um I'm more comfortable in a group of men than I am in a group of women because I I just I'm not a girly girl you know right you know but uh not that they all are but uh but yeah it's just a a comfort thing so um you know and I I I think I get along with uh most of the guys they've become friends of mine in the the comedy sphere and stuff and uh you know we're always ribbing with each other and congratulating each other on a good open mic or a good show you know and stuff so I love it and I love that your first experience in comedy was so good with the comedians was so welcoming and encouraging um I I I I've seen that now in comedy scenes and I I but I've also seen and heard enough about how it could be the opposite. So that that is a gift. But um I I do that's that's wonderful that you're uh through working in engineering and working with so many different people that prepared you for when you came to comedy because there you know there's so many different kinds of comedians and different people even people you know the one thing we have in common is we like to make people laugh but then the people who get on stage at any given open mic every single person could be cut the world's most different person. That was for me actually a benefit of getting into stand up comedy because I really I really felt convicted that like my whole little bubble was like this just older and younger versions of myself and I mean really needed to get out there and meet different kinds of people and it kind of expand my horizon a little bit. And then like as soon as I did my first open mic and looked around at like comedy I was like oh this is this is where I need to be these are these are all very different people and uh and I feel like ever since then that's been one of the biggest blessings for me in comedy is that it's just helped me know people better, accept people more be more understanding and uh honestly be less judgmental. Like we there it takes it takes all different kinds of people to keep this world spinning. So yeah yeah and we're all going for the same thing which is to make people happy and you know I don't really feel uh the competitiveness you know of course I'm not I'm not looking to make it uh uh my sole source of income that's a whole different layer of stress you know so I'm very grateful that I don't I don't have that you know but um uh so what are what are caught what are some uh some of the goals that you do have for yourself for comedy and entertainment and everything around that like what are some goals and aspirations that you have yeah I'm I'm still uh in some ways trying to figure that out um I like the festivals and and getting to to meet people in in the in this business of comedy and stuff I would like to get into more uh corporate uh type type gigs and stuff so I'm trying to to figure out how to how to do that um you know entertain uh people that are um you know around my age and stuff because um they're very receptive um they're the ones that have money you know so so you know uh try to try to get into arenas and you know areas where they are they ha they hang hang out and stuff so um but um but yeah and and then you know enjoy the travel and you know things like that so I I was in Italy last year and I did a a set for oh that's so cool travel group so I say I've I've done a I've worked in it you're an international comedian Connie that's amazing international sensation yes yes I you know that's how it works right so uh yeah you did one show outside of the US you can say you're an international comedian yeah yeah it counts it counts so well that's that and that's a bucket list of mine on a couple of different levels I haven't performed outside of the country yet and also uh I haven't never been to Italy so I would that that's uh color me jealous on that one that's really cool well we've talked about the good things about comedy and and goals and stuff and it's okay that as we always uh do we're always developing goals and kind of what our next step is but what would you say is maybe one of your biggest challenges that you've had to deal with as a comedian um whether you've overcome it or like it's still just it's still today is one of the biggest challenges which you know whatever you feel like.

SPEAKER_00 28:21

Yeah I I feel uh getting inspired you know there's so much advice out there you know to um to write every day and to you know de ota 10,000 open mics a week and you know things like that. And so I'm trying to figure out you know why you know open mics are a testing ground for jokes. I think they're also very beneficial for people who don't have the advantage of having had a lot of stage time that that's really uh the purpose of it. You know the the and then the ups and downs I mean I've been I I was like man why am I so down and I don't want to do it anymore and I don't think I'm good and all this stuff.

SPEAKER_02 29:06

At an open mic last um last month um I was talking to a table of uh people that were about my age after the open mic and and this guy gives me a $2 bill and he said you were my favorite out of you know 20 something comics you know and I felt I felt I mean I was like here then you know and so I kept that two dollar bill on my desk and and it's like you know every anytime I feel down about that you know questioning myself and you know do I really want to do this and you're retired why are you you know putting in all this time and and stuff um you know for right now little reward you know a two dollar tip but um but uh but don't spend it all in one place that yeah yeah but it was uh it was it was nice and you gotta remember the feedback that you get from from people because I've had feedback before different things that I've I've filled in at the last minute and then been told I was the I was the best comic out of the whole showcase and I'm like you know those people prepped I I didn't have any prep time you know but um but yeah it's it's uh it it's it's a whole different ball game from what I've been used to you know I went to college to learn how to do engineering and stuff so the the the step over into the career part was not that hard this is a whole new thing and yeah there's no comedy college you just kind of got to learn by doing it and yeah and learning just learning uh how the clubs work learning how uh you know organizations work when they hire people and and you know just it's a whole new thing that I've had to uh been on this trying to be on this really steep learning curve and I've kind of backed off on that just to take a little bit more time to be a little more thorough because that's another thing being an engineer I just you know it's like no wait we gotta wait we gotta back off this stuff has got to make sense it doesn't make sense right now yeah you know that is incredibly important for an engineer what you want whatever you build to last you know and it it's important too to take time uh for your mental health i've i've I've had uh some comedy friends that they uh you know will will post I'm taking a break I can't do this you know I'm I'm gonna be you know and uh it is very important that we take care of our mental health and and knowing that there is a goal out there but don't stretch it so much that that it costs you your um your your mental health yeah there's nothing wrong with taking breaks no matter how long the breaks are uh it could be just a short break or if you need to take some time and and there are ways to can to to give yourself a break of comedy and sit you know and and it's it's not and for me the fear is always like well there goes my career if I take a break I'll everyone will forget about me I won't get booked ever again and I'll I'll get rusty and I get I get all these voices telling me the read all the reasons I should but you're so right about mental health and comedy can be uh even when it's not like directed to you or at you it can be a very negative place. And if you're someone like me and it sounds like you as well Connie who you're hitting that you go to the mics frequently you go to the shows frequently it's a multiple night a week kind of thing uh if you do multiple nights a week and then multiple weeks and then multiple months you can be around this kind of negative atmosphere even if it's not negative towards you it is you're just and that that can get very depressing and tough. And that's why comedians need to just be intentional about taking breaks and giving themselves rest on that. And it's so yeah it's uh you're no you're and whenever I hear comedians say like I'm quitting for a bit um it's weird but I'm like I hope it's great. I it's I I know it it either they'll never do it again but they'll be happier or they stop doing it and then they miss it and they come back to it reinvigorated.

SPEAKER_00 33:27

So it's like to me it's like whatever happens you'll it'll work out for you you know yeah yeah because I've done that I I um you know the first half of this year you know I I just kind of felt off you know and I went to a comedy festival and and you know I did things you know like that but um but I could tell if I just took a week off you know and then got back to it I felt so much more energized and you know ready to go and just realize that this is not a nine to five 40 hour week yeah like I did for so long.

SPEAKER_02 34:05

You know it's it's got its own hours and you can you know does what you want to or what you don't want to so and even when you're not out regularly performing there's other aspects of entertainment and comedy that are still happening so you're not like done. You know you you might be I mean we've I've said this or maybe someone else has said it before in this pop podcast but sometimes you take a break from comedy so that you can live life which then inspires your next routine that you write you know sometimes you need to do that. Or sometimes you know uh there's all kinds of aspects of creativity uh when I I had to take about the time I I took a bit of a break from comedy was when I was like well I want to start another podcast where I talk to comedians and so so I still was you know in the realm of comedy but not just out there myself but I anyways I actually uh next month in July unintentionally I was looking at my schedule last week uh looking at what's coming up and I saw that I didn't have a like traveling gig for any week in July and me a year ago would have panicked I would have been like oh my gosh I guess my career's over you know like I guess I guess I'm done but uh and this does come with the luxury of having a day job where I don't I have other sources of income I'll be I'll be honest on that one but I looked at that and I was like you know what maybe unless something really big comes along I just keep that month open with no no gigs on the weekend and I'm kind of looking forward to to you know that yeah yeah I took a vacation took my grandkids to uh on a trip and you know didn't really think about much uh you know came back and you know last week was kind of a drag because catch up and jet lag and all that kind of stuff but you know this week it's like okay you know we got we got things to do I've got a show uh Saturday night I'm doing a uh workshop at a at a um uh a health they call it health 360 uh on Saturday morning and uh you know and then a show the next week and and open mic I'm hosting and you know so everything starts starts rolling again you know yeah and it feels good so listen com comedy is always here I tell my friends it's like the toxic ex-girlfriend that's always ready to take you back like she's there yeah yeah yeah yeah so so uh um so we talked about you as a comedian we talked about you uh as an improver comedian I guess you know that's also comedian as well we talked about you as a wedding official one thing we didn't get to talk about much is uh also on your site it says you're a speaker as well so I'm interested in like what do you talk about like what what are what kind of uh speakings uh speeches that's the word I'm looking for what what what do you speak about um so um I I talk uh mental health um I lost my son to suicide uh and he was a vet and so thank you and um and I uh got up with a um an organization called Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors or TAPS and they support military loss survivors and uh through their programs that they had I got so much clarity through my grief and developed a passion and the passion was to prevent suicides and so I came home from a retreat and I um I did I got suicide prevention trained and I made a presentation for it it of course is engineering me it's got lots of numbers lots of numbers and facts in it and stuff and I took that into the community and and talked about that and and I still it you know take opportunities to to to speak about that so that's that's my passion when I ask people ask me to um to talk that's what I I talk about um because it's just it's so important to raise you know eliminate the stigma that mental health has and stuff so um so this is an interesting question and we might have already talked about it a little bit but uh if you were to give any tip or piece of advice to comedians regarding mental health what would be something you'd because you have a lot of you have a lot of new comedians or maybe actually you might have a lot of old comedians as well uh listening to this so uh what what would be a good mental health tip for comedians from you? Um I would say uh to listen to your body you know listen to your mind if your mind is uh you know mind goes off on all kinds of tracks and I have to you know still it down I do that by uh doing some yoga breathing which is basically long and slow and deep you know breathing and um and also mindfulness exercises you can Google that and and um you know I've I've had some kind of dark times and um the mindfulness where I went outside and I looked for five things I could see and four things I could hear and you know down to one and um you know it really does ground you and you know get you kind of out of that but uh to know who you can call uh you can call 988 you know which is the suicide uh hotline number or you know have a friend a trusted friend or family member that you can call don't be afraid to go to counseling you know if it takes more than then counseling don't be afraid to ask for help because we need you here you know we need you comedy needs you um the audiences need you you know and um so I I would just say be uh as self-aware as you can and if if someone you know may say you know hey you seem a little off or something listen to that and you know and really think about it that maybe you do need uh a little bit of a you know backup and and take care of yourself for a little bit so yeah I appreciate that thanks for sharing that that's that's great solid advice I appreciate you sharing that so so then um a a a a question I get before I transition to uh questions from other other people um is uh so uh comedy aside engineering aside like what's what's fun for you like what what's your what's something you do what's something you're really geeking out on what's something that's uh that you could start your own podcast and center it around like what what's Connie's most favorite thing um I really love to travel so as I was preparing to retire um I went to a finance advisor and he would ask me you know what's your goal in retirement you know and stand up never came up you know what can I say and um and I I would say travel was always the the top thing that's what I want to do you know so um so I like uh comedy in that I get to travel you know I can travel for the the stand-up festivals if I get some bookings you know hint hint uh you know I can travel for those um uh my duo partner and I are going to the countdown improv festival in uh Tampa in August that'll be our third time there uh and um you know and then there's also things like the vacation to Italy um I the vacation I had with my two grandsons uh we went to Hawaii uh you know and and I just I enjoyed that being able to tell them about you know different uh you know the Hawaiian culture and where it came from and the food is is different from what we eat and um we got to see Kilauea uh erupting you know and it had you know the the lava coming I mean we were just like a hundred yards from it it was it was just spectacular and um uh being able to to witness nature you know like that is uh angry nature but you know you know but yeah I just like the experiences I'm a foodie so I love you know tasting the foods of different areas United States or you know other countries and stuff so yeah that's cool I can relate to that I traveling is my favorite part of comedy like going to the different places and then also but whenever I travel it I feel like I'm just basically eating wherever I go like it's comedy in the evening and where can I eat during the day those are like that's those are my main concerns and it's a lot of fun.

SPEAKER_00 43:05

So like my cousin I had a cousin that was my best friend and she and I would travel and we couldn't tell you really what we saw but we can tell you what we ate.

SPEAKER_02 43:17

Oh for sure yeah every video is like oh yeah that's where we you know we went to Boston oh yeah that was the best seafood we had and yeah all this stuff so yeah yeah I find uh I find now that whenever people mention random places that I've performed at my first like my first random thing that I tell them is like oh they have a really good burger place there or something like that. Um and it's yeah I think I think it's the most important thing I think that's me being a good friend to these people.

SPEAKER_00 43:48

So yeah yeah yeah for sure.

SPEAKER_02 43:50

All right Connie, we are going to enter into our ask a comedian section uh I told you about this before the podcast but for anyone listening um you can And at any point, um, excuse me, you can at any point uh share a question with us at the podcast. So you can actually, whatever you're listening on, if it's on YouTube, you can comment below. If it's on anything, like any of the podcast platforms, there's an option in the episode notes where you can also find a link to Connie's website and a link to our Patreon and all anything else, the Clean Comedy Collectic website. There's also a section where you can send us a question uh on any of my social media at Drew Davis Comedy or just uh however you want to reach me in whatever way, uh you can always uh add questions that we ask a comedian. This is called our ask a comedian section. So they can be comedy related or they can just be random related. And then in every episode, and we do a new one every Saturday, uh, I ask the comedian three of your questions, and they help me pick it by telling me the number, and I have it a little list here. So Connie, I have numbers one through 37. So you give me three numbers and I'll give you three questions.

SPEAKER_00 44:58

Okay, five. Uh 25 and 37.

SPEAKER_02 45:04

All right, five, twenty-five. All right, these are good ones. So I I say that as I was like vaguely looking fast and I I'll always say they're good ones, even if they aren't good ones. Um Okay, so number five is uh from a friend Lisa Rogers. Um she's a friend from one of the churches I worked at back in the day. Uh, and her question is if you could go back to any point in your life with any person in your life, uh, would you do uh what would would you do anything differently? That question took a twist, right? I was thinking I was gonna say something else. Yeah, so if you go back in time with anyone who uh would you do something different?

SPEAKER_00 45:57

Um yeah, of course with my son I would do I would do a lot different, you know, with that. Um but um beyond that, um yeah, uh there was a time uh when uh I was a uh single parent and my kids were very young, so uh put them into Cub Scouts and um we uh you know, as a single parent and stuff, they were both they were in different levels because they were two years apart and stuff, but uh but the youngest one, the group that have become my my good friends for all these years, um when it came time for for them to get out of what they called tiger cubs, which was just the first level thing, to go into a real den, they needed one leader. And so they said, Hey, if you do it, now keep in mind the rest of them were married. I was the only single parent. If you do this, we will be right there with you, and so I would go back to that point and just say, Heck no.

SPEAKER_02 47:10

That's funny, that's true. Yeah, you would have been like, Don't do it. You know what? My my mother was uh the dead mother and ran the Cub Scout trip that I was in for years, uh, and I was a Tiger Scout and uh wolf and all the other ones, and something tells me she would make the same decision if uh if she was in.

SPEAKER_00 47:31

I knew it was fun. There was one meeting that which they were at my house, and um, so the we were cooking, I think we were making cookies or something with with the boys, and and then I realized that I was the only adult in the kitchen. And I go and look in the living room, and there they all are just sitting on the couches, you know. Yeah, you're done with it.

SPEAKER_02 47:54

You were you're providing a great uh community for all of them.

SPEAKER_00 47:57

I provided a great babysitter service, you know.

SPEAKER_02 48:03

That's funny.

SPEAKER_00 48:04

Yeah, yeah, okay.

SPEAKER_02 48:05

This next question, I feel like uh you accidentally picked all serious questions, by the way. So uh, but they're they're still good questions. Uh this one, uh the sixth one comes on Facebook from Brian uh Swinford. Uh and his question is what was missing from your life that being on stage fulfills? Oh damn, yeah, I know. Sorry. Um that's a good question, though.

SPEAKER_00 48:29

Yeah, it uh probably um the social aspect, uh, you know, because uh working, you know, and then not working, and then you know, COVID hit and things. So it gives me an outlet to be around, um, you know, uh folks that that you know we're in a common, we got a common goal, you know, so to speak, um in a broad in a broad sense. And um, you know, so it's a it's for me, it's a a social aspect.

SPEAKER_02 49:04

There is definitely, yeah, there's a definitely, especially when you when you travel, when you go to the festivals, even even when you do open mics uh for a while with the same people, it's like you could be completely different people, but we have this one really important thing in common. And so yeah, it kind of connects us.

SPEAKER_01 49:22

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 49:24

And one of my favorite things is the longer you excuse me, the longer that you do it, the more bonded you are to the people that have been doing it just as long as you. And it could be people that you only see when you do that certain festival that one time a year, but you do it three or four times, and suddenly that becomes your festival buddy, you know. And so I think that's cool too.

SPEAKER_00 49:44

Well, and you know, social media helps, you know, that uh the Facebook groups for comedy are are just top-notch, you know. In my opinion, they're they're they're led by a lot of people that that really know what they're doing and and work to create community within that. And so if you do get to meet some of those people in real life, you know, and then you see them online, you get, you know, oh, I can just picture you saying that, you know.

SPEAKER_02 50:11

Absolutely, you know, it's so interesting. Facebook has become a big part of stand-up comedy, and in even though like um there are other more like Instagrams becoming a bigger deal, like you know, TikTok, and uh people still can you can still benefit a lot from local comedy groups in Facebook because those are already established, people are already there, uh, and it's in habit. So if you're comedian, a part of networking and getting booked is joining that local group or joining the or checking the group in the area you're traveling to. And I know Facebook is old and outdated, but like there's still some valuable uh for stand-up comedy, there's still some valuable uses for Facebook.

SPEAKER_00 50:51

So well, it's the only app that does groups, you know, and so um pretty sure that you know that's why they say I'm I mean, the a lot of the uh people that are part of that may not use their personal profile for anything but right, you know, those groups and stuff, which is fine. I I've discovered threads and it is a hoot. And I just those people on there are just crazy and they come up with the strangest ideas that are just so fun. And I just have no fun on that, on that app.

SPEAKER_02 51:28

So that's a good app when like you're eating by yourself and you're just what what do people on threads think right now? Just scroll, scroll all your that's that's what I yeah. So all right. Our last cut question actually uh comes to us from Threads through Alex Brown. Uh and his and his question is uh what part of the journey, and he's talking about, I think, the just in general the stand-up comedy journey. What part of the journey do you prefer? Writing or performing the jokes?

SPEAKER_00 51:58

Oh um gosh, I my my knee-jerk reaction was performing, you know, because that's that's kind of the payoff for everything that that you've done, right? So writing the jokes, if I'm writing uh with my writing partner, you know, it can be uh it can be fun. Uh writing jokes when I write a joke to myself and I start cracking up laughing, you know.

SPEAKER_02 52:27

That's a good joke. That's a good sign, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 52:29

Usually this is just so sad though. You know what you do today? Oh, I sat at my computer and I wrote a joke and I laughed for you just laughing to yourself, yeah. Yeah, I'm still laughing about it, but uh, but yeah, the the the first thing I thought of was the performing, you know, because that's that's the culmination of all the work that it uh it it should be the culmination of all the work that you put in, and that's the payoff, you know, for for it. So yeah.

SPEAKER_02 52:59

For me, it's a hundred and thirty-seven percent the the performing. I uh I wish I liked writing more, I wish I put more time into writing. I have a very kind of unique, but it seems lazy style to like how I write jokes and stuff like that. And I and I really do think it is probably because I'm lazy and don't sit down and write as much as I should. Um, but you know what's interesting is I've talked to plenty of people that genuinely prefer their writing. Uh, I mean, joke writers exist. They're folks that don't even want to perform and they'll just write jokes instead. And so uh good for them. That's that's not me. Yeah, yeah, but um, well, Connie, thank you so much for doing this podcast. Thank you for jumping in. And I it was our connection was a bit of a last minute. I was looking for someone to fill for this Saturday, and so uh you were next on my list, and I shot you an email, and you were so gracious to to jump in and and and come uh on this Monday night and uh uh from a couple days ago and do a podcast. Uh so before we go, this is your chance to uh plug and promote and advertise anything you'd like for your people. Like, where can we find you? What do you got going on? What do you want to tell us about?

SPEAKER_00 54:09

Yeah, so you mentioned you're gonna have my website, uh link to my website, and um all of my handles are at Connie Lee Comedy. Uh Connie is spelled without an E. So um there's two E's in Lee. So, you know, figured that one out, I guess. But um, but yeah, so uh I'm on Instagram. Um, I've got a Facebook page, Connie Lee Comedy. Uh, and um uh um I have a sub stack, but it's it's kind of a work in progress, you know. I thought I'm gonna get at least one thing a month done, and that's what I do, and it's usually on the last day of the month, but still consistency.

SPEAKER_02 54:50

Here we go. That's still consistency. That's good.

SPEAKER_00 54:52

And my YouTube channel the same way, but uh like I said, there's links to those on my on my webpage and stuff. Um uh things I've got coming up on Saturday. I mentioned that. There's a uh stand-up show if anyone is in Marlowe, Oklahoma, uh, which is a little bit south and west of Norman and Oklahoma City area. Um we're gonna be at a um uh winery there. That's the name of it uh escapes me right now. Uh on uh the next Saturday, the 20, would that be the 27th of June? Uh another at another winery in Oklahoma City called the Backyard Winery. There'll be a show there that I'll be in. Um on the 23rd at Bricktown Comedy Club in Oklahoma City. I'm actually hosting a clean comedy mic.

SPEAKER_02 55:43

There you go.

SPEAKER_00 55:44

Yeah, they started doing a clean comedy mic uh once a month. And uh, and so uh so I'm I'm very grateful that they've uh picked me to to do the hosting for that. So I'm so excited about that, yeah. And uh and then uh July 3rd in Tulsa at Tulsa Bricktown Comedy, they're having a Okie Jokey contest. And so I'm I'm part of the seven o'clock show there. So if you're in Tulsa, come and scream and yell for me to to win the Okie Jokey thing. So you know, it's I guess yeah, that's a lot going on.

SPEAKER_02 56:23

That's a lot of really cool stuff.

SPEAKER_00 56:25

And you know, the end of the month really kind of started piling on. Uh, you know, that's what happens when you're gone, right?

SPEAKER_02 56:30

So right. You come back and go, my gosh, I have all this stuff going on. Yeah, that's great. Um well, and also just shameless uh promotion for the Clean Comedy Collective. You all, if you're listening to this, uh and you're like, wow, this is so much fun. I want to hear more comedians. Well, we have this is actually our 20th episode, uh, which is kind of always like a podcast milestone. You made it 20 episodes. Uh, so we have 19 previous interviews that you can check out if you want. Uh, and we'll have more every Saturday. Uh, so you can check everything out at cleancomedycollective.com. You can also uh learn about every comedian in our network. Uh, Connie is in the Oklahoma section, I'm in the Tennessee section, and we have a bunch of other states. We also uh have monthly uh well, we have shows that partner with us, clean shows that partner with us from all across the country. Uh, side note, Connie, if that open mic, if they want to partner with the clean comedy collective, we are always looking to just expand and connect and promote uh clean comedy related whatever's uh and there's a section on our show that does that. Uh, and there's also a donate section of our website where if you're like, man, this is so awesome, I just want to give them all my money. Uh, we'll take it. We'll take, we'll take all or we'll take some. You can be a patron for like five a month, and that gets you access to the longest, the longer uncut, Snyder cut versions of our episodes. And uh it helps us fund the things that we do. Uh, we spend uh man, myself and my friends and a lot of the comedians, uh, we spend a lot of time on the clean comedy collective. So it would be nice to, I don't know, one day make money from it. We're not there yet, but maybe one day, maybe your five dollars can go to that. So um that being said, I think uh I think this is this that's it. Connie, this is a great episode. I hope people reach out to you for comedy uh to for you to come speak for them and to for you to marry them. I hope you can just get all kinds of people being like married, married this comedy.

SPEAKER_00 58:16

I misunderstood that that I would marry some of the people that you were talking to, but I'm an officiate, but you know, I was like, no, that's not what I'm Connie is available for all of your marriages uh to officiate the message. Your marriages, not mine.

SPEAKER_02 58:35

Yes, that's right. Uh well, thank you so much. Uh and uh Connie, thank you, and everyone else, thank you. And and and we'll see you next week. Have a good one.

SPEAKER_00 58:44

Thank you.

SPEAKER_02 58:48

You're welcome.