The (Race) Plaything

This was on my mind and happened within  12hours (last night into early morning). 

What are your thoughts? 

Share them here or connect with me later today on www.premium.chat/NatalieGainerluvsu (credit card is required)

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

There's a whole new dynamic going on, and I really don't know what to think of it. When I'm on my site, I notice that there are men who are unapologetically supremists. They call themselves the clan, and they tell me that they visualize and fantasize over me. And one even called his wife up because the bar owner who was in contact with me. At first I just thought he was playing around and he wasn't talking race. He was just talking more in a demanding state, um, a demanding nature. He sh he had me on his bar's television. And so the men were all watching me. And one of the patrons, one of the men, sent a photo to his wife. And his wife came on to my chat and started paying me and was saying that women weren't allowed in the bar, but she sure would love to see a slave like me be handled by those men. This didn't turn me on at all. It was kind of scary actually, but they were fascinated with me. And the thought that this was some of the treatment that some of my predecessors who have since passed away murdered actually. That thought went through my head. I was wondering, is this what they is this what they went through? And that's not to be naive. It was more so where it was just very surprising. I've had a lot of requests asking if I would participate in race play. And there have been, there have been some men who wanted me to race play in a way where I was talking over them. Maybe they were of a diff different ethnicity, or maybe they wanted me to as a black woman to speak down on them. And in my nature, I am just not a bully of any kind. I think that has to do with an energy, definitely a spirit, and I don't possess that spirit, so it actually takes work for me to try to think of words to down a demographic of people. As a matter of fact, earlier that night on the European site that I'm also on, there was a gentleman on there who he comes on and does private shows with me, but he really, really wants for me to talk negatively about Muslim. And I told him I don't know enough about Muslim to speak bad about them. So I can't do that. And so sometimes if he has enough money then, then he wants me to talk bad about his wife. And if I ask too many questions, such as, is his wife Muslim? What's wrong with his wife? Just for better understanding, he runs out of money. So I haven't been able to honor his requests. He comes on long enough for me to for him to tell me he wants me to talk negatively. Well, last night was no different. And it cut off after I said, Well, let's talk about your wife. And even with that, I mean, again, I couldn't talk bad about it. I would just say things like she doesn't understand you. You're someone who has needs. I would say stuff like that. But when this group came on, he took a picture of his bar and he showed my he showed that my face was on all of his TVs, and all of these grisly old men were looking at it. And they were talking amongst themselves about how it would be if I were in that bar. And again, one of their wives was tipping me, telling me I would love to see what they would do to you. And then she asked, Have you ever kissed a woman? And I mean, truth be told, I mean I I have, but I don't remember. And I think I said something like that to her. I said, Well, I I have, but I don't remember. She said, Did you like it? And I said, Well, I I was a little drunk. And she was making plans to be with me as well, too. She liked looking at me. And I didn't know how to be with this energy. This energy from these men who openly say kiss your white master. Shut up and kiss your white master. And them telling me, you know you like it. You like when we call you the N-word, and I have to tell them no, I don't. I really don't. And just hearing how my refusal, my my resistance turned him on even more. He said, I like that you don't like it.

SPEAKER_00 7:19

I want to force myself on you. I don't know how to respond to that.

SPEAKER_01 7:29

Because we are on a sex line. This is a fantasy, but it is real.

SPEAKER_00 7:39

It really happens.

SPEAKER_01 7:43

It's things like this that make me have to think of the men that I interact with. Is this truly someone who is with me because they really do like me? Or is it some type of sick fetish where I am their dark secret fantasy but not someone who they would treat with respect as a person. They don't see me as a person. Last night that bar owner told me that if he were my master, he would come into my quarters every morning before sunrise and have his way with me. And it made me think about the atrocities my predecessors went through. And even today, how there's so many missing missing women and men, and how many of them are turning up murdered. And it's hard to have a handle on here that says that I love men when I know that a majority of the men who respond to me, a majority are white men. And when I think about it, it makes me think of the men who I dated or who I was with intimately in my past because to date I am celibate. July would be a year. But even in July, that was my CFI instructor. He told me we may as well get the sex out of the way. And every time we were in the airplane hangar, he would have his hands all over me. And when it was time for us to be in public, he didn't want to show his desire. And the crazy thing is, is that he had the excuse of him being my instructor and it being ethically just wrong. He could have used that as an excuse. And as I go through this life, I keep thinking again about my interactions, and I compare that to the story of the woman who was a lifestyle influencer, the 31-year-old African-American woman who was talking about divesting and being with white men, which I don't normally encourage people to do that. I tell people to look at the energies, watch the energies, pay attention to your gut feelings, look at the red flags, and it doesn't matter what race they are, what color they are, the hue of their skin, it doesn't matter. Men and women can snap. But the latest story was this woman who's 31 years old, whose boyfriend took her to Zanzibar for her 31, her 31st birthday. And he proposed to her, and there was all kinds of footage, photos and videos of an envious trip between the two of them among animals being surrounded by flowers. And then and then the actual reason that it's on YouTube. She was found hung. Hung. And the husband, who never publicly posted her on his page, a crypto user, said that she died by suicide. It's very clear that woman did not die by suicide. It also makes me wonder if he was just a nice version of that bar owner who wanted to have his way with me.

SPEAKER_00 13:29

The bar owner was just very transparent with his intentions.

SPEAKER_01 13:36

But if I'm not careful, I could find a man like the one who took the fiance to Zanzibar, the cunning charmer. I had to make this podcast, this video, or excuse me, this audio, because it's on my mind. It makes me think about the world that's out there. It makes me think about how I respond to threats. Am I in fear? Well, I confess to the bar owner it was pretty scary. Why would he want to talk to me like that? And then he messaged for me to do as he says, and he put an action to it where he slapped my face. And so when this man was talking like that, he wanted to be dominant. That's not how he started. But he did tell me that he would spoil me, that he would treat me right. And as he was saying that to me last night into this morning, because he asked if I was ignoring him because he kept giving me one token tips, not big money, just breadcrumbs. He asked if I was ignoring him, and I tried to convince him I wasn't. I just had to go to sleep. I had to sleep. At some point this fantasy has to has to rest, has to pause. And I guess the fascination with that is that no.

SPEAKER_00 16:11

We're not allowed to.

SPEAKER_01 16:32

Kind of like many of you as listeners. They just hear my voice and they confess to me their deepest, darkest desires. And it's ranged from trying to figure out how to become a woman and what panties they want to wear, and should they be out in public, ranging all the way from that to coercing their vanilla wives, this is their words, by the way, to have a little bit of imagination and to take a BBC, a big black cock. But then that even goes further because those same men, deep down, when you get them to talk a little bit more, they don't really care if the wife is there. They actually want to take that BBC for themselves secretly. Because how dare these black men who are beneath them who do not have the financial means to move ahead, how dare them walk around arrogantly with their big thick cocks and looking so strong and like the men that they could never be.

SPEAKER_00 18:22

These are the confessions that these men tell me.

SPEAKER_01 18:28

And to know that they actually find men to be that stallion for their marriage, where they can become cucked. That is a thing. And as I was speaking to these men, before they before they confess to yielding to these BBCs, I ask them if they've ever been with a black woman. That's where they confess. Well, yeah, but I paid for it once. But black women are loud and obnoxious and they're ugly. So no, I don't want to be with a black woman. And there were at least two or three men who said something like that over the phone. And they're saying this without knowing that the woman that they're speaking to, confessing all of these things to, are actually desired by these white men. But desired in a way where I guess it's another fetish. I don't know what you as the white man who's listening to me. I don't know what the fascination is. I don't know what the fetish is. I can't put my finger on it because when I was speaking to these men about BBCs, they were confessing that these men were men that they could never be and that their cocks were very big. But when I tried to figure out what is the fascination with dominating a black woman, I don't get an answer. Not one that I can comprehend that makes rational sense, especially if on the other side of their mouths these black women collectively are also hated.

SPEAKER_00 21:03

I don't understand.

SPEAKER_01 21:09

So anyway, I'm not sure how to take these men and women, their wives, when they come on to my my chat. Or even respond to my podcast because I'm starting to get more downloads. And for that, I thank you very much for you listening. I don't really know how to respond to all of that.

SPEAKER_00 21:46

Outside of saying this is a very scary world. Thanks for listening.