WE KEEP CURSING CELEBRITIES | Flopcast ep.9

This week on Flopcast (working title): Molly gives a full update on her butt crack saga and a dermatologist scare sends her into a spiral. Paige has a cursed day from hell, and together they unpack a week of influencer chaos, prophetic podcast powers, reality TV arrests, Oscars discourse, and Coachella financial ruin. The girls also touch on the “GATE program,” Love on the Spectrum, looksmaxxing incels, Hudson Williams’ girlfriend, Kanye’s unhinged texts to Megan Fox, and the very real horror of the Ozempic Olympics.

Also: Vinny Hacker’s F1 party, Charlie from Love Island, Jake Shane backlash, Nicole Kidman’s Tweety Bird moment, Brooke’s wedding, Heidi Klum’s Oscars dress, PCOS struggles, and Paige’s possible hometown-to-LA birthday date.

Basically: blood, butt cracks, boric acid, and celebrity gossip.

Just another week on Flopcast

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

I was on Dr. Pepper duty today and I forgot them. So now I'm I'm writing names.

SPEAKER_01 0:04

Improvising. Because we have brand loyalty to the brand that doesn't partner with us.

SPEAKER_00 0:08

Literally, like they want nothing to do with us. Okay, you get the idea. Look at that. Ah! You can't even see it. Whatever. Whatever. Who cares? Oh my God. What's up, baby? Welcome back to Flopcast. Working title. Y'all know what it is.

SPEAKER_01 0:28

How the f are you? So I'm like a mess. But it's okay. Don't freak out, y'all. It's pajama day.

SPEAKER_00 0:35

It's pajama day. I was like texting Molly before we came here to pod, and I was like, listen, girl, like, let's just take it easy. Show up in the jammies, show up looking like shit. It is what it is.

SPEAKER_01 0:45

It is what it is.

SPEAKER_00 0:46

Because you've been going through it.

SPEAKER_01 0:47

Oh my god. Okay, let me talk. You've been in the trenches. So my butt thing, my butt crack thing is back. For anyone who's not familiar with my butt crack, my butt crack, I've had issues with it before.

SPEAKER_00 0:58

It's kind of you've been like viral with your butt crack.

SPEAKER_01 1:01

Yes, one time someone told me it's a butt crack girl, and I said, that's me. That's me. Basically in November, I had an issue with my butt crack. I've had an issue before with my butt crack. Basically, probably the year, a year ago. A year and a half ago, November 2024, I have an issue with my butt crack. My butt crack's randomly bleeding. What?

SPEAKER_00 1:23

How's that happen?

SPEAKER_01 1:24

What?

SPEAKER_00 1:25

Like a lot?

SPEAKER_01 1:26

Um, no, but it was just like, what's going on? Because like that happens to me so. And I was met with this guy who guy, he was a doctor, like fully, pillow face down. Yeah. Just like just color in it. Also, this was in friggin' Yonkers, New York.

SPEAKER_00 1:45

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_01 1:45

So why is he looking like that? I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 1:47

I thought you were gonna say it was here, and I was like, that's like a CVS clerk has exactly pillow face bad, yeah. It was shocking. Wow.

SPEAKER_01 1:55

He goes, Oh, okay, honey, sit down. We're gonna keep you modest. Oh. Okay. You're like, I can't sit. I know. I was literally like, so actually, it's gonna have to be on my stomach. Um, and so basically, whatever, he puts me on antibiotics, he tells me to take Epsom salt baths, it goes away, whatever. This November, 2025, is pylonidal cyst. It comes back. My butt crack, butt crack gate. Butt crack gate. It was the worst pain I've felt in a very long time. I went to urgent care, I went to a primary care, and I went to the ER.

SPEAKER_00 2:26

I'm like locked and I'm hunched over like this.

SPEAKER_01 2:29

Horrible, horrible, horrible, horrible, horrible, horrible. And so when I went to the ER, I was like, okay, you're just gonna like have to figure out this thing. So they trigger warning, they cut it open. Whatever.

SPEAKER_00 2:40

You have like an elongated crack now?

SPEAKER_01 2:42

Uh no, actually. Uh I need to get the real surgery where I get an elongated crack. What I know.

SPEAKER_00 2:51

I'm like kind of jealous. I have I suffer from like low butt crack. Like Yoko Ono. Yeah, exactly. Like I know Tay McCray has it. I've like made a little TikTok about it. Like, I just have like a sixth sense. It's like I have ESP for like butt cracks. I just know when a bitch has a low crack.

SPEAKER_01 3:06

It's like a low end theme.

SPEAKER_00 3:07

So it's like So it's like once they figure that out, I'm first in line. You're first in line. I'll do like beta testing on it and I'll let you know how it goes.

SPEAKER_01 3:14

Wait, yeah, okay. So it's come back because I'm sitting kind of weird. I was gonna sit. You're pulling the Ariana Grande and like So am I. But they've got Okay. Um, okay. And so I drive with this special pillow that I sit on, so I'm not gonna put too much like weight on my tailbone.

SPEAKER_00 3:36

You have the donut. You have the BBL donut!

SPEAKER_01 3:40

Oh my god, I was gonna bring it in today, but I forgot it in the car and it's like 97 degrees out, so I just can't go out there and get it. But trust and believe, like, whatever. But that's not even my biggest issue right now.

SPEAKER_00 3:50

Yeah, wait, but wait, there's more.

SPEAKER_01 3:52

Oh, but wait, there's more. So basically on my arms, I have the pox. Not really. It's not really the pox.

SPEAKER_00 3:59

It's yeah, like it looks like it, but it looks like pox.

SPEAKER_01 4:02

But basically, I went to the dermatologist. She was like, it might be eczema. Try this cream. I went back to the dermatologist. I was like, girl, it's not eczema.

SPEAKER_00 4:08

Right.

SPEAKER_01 4:08

She was like, wait, sorry, I'm like, my mouth.

SPEAKER_00 4:11

I like love telling the doctor too. You're like, no, that's not eczema.

SPEAKER_01 4:14

No, I said, no, it's not eczema.

SPEAKER_00 4:16

Actually, Alan.

SPEAKER_01 4:19

And so she like takes a biopsy of it, whatever. I call in yesterday because it's been like a week and a half since this happened. And she was like, Okay, yeah. So actually they're doing more tests on it because it looks really weird. And there's like inflammation under the skin that like is common with like either if you are allergic to a certain drug that you're taking, if you have an autoimmune disease, if you have like an allergy, or if you have blood cancer.

SPEAKER_00 4:41

Huh.

SPEAKER_01 4:44

Blood cancer.

SPEAKER_00 4:45

Oh, wait, pause, pause, pause. What in the Walter White? Blood cancer. Yeah, what the fuck?

SPEAKER_01 4:50

I pale.

SPEAKER_00 4:52

My body pales. I passed.

SPEAKER_01 4:53

And like I had a three-hour long panic attack where I was like, this is it. I'm gonna die. I have so much more to live for. Like, flapcast is just taking off.

SPEAKER_00 4:59

Like, fuck. Yeah. Oh my god. You won't even see like the 27 club.

SPEAKER_01 5:03

Like, fuck.

SPEAKER_00 5:04

You're like, just wait a few years.

SPEAKER_01 5:06

Just like, fuck. Like, what am I like? Shit. And so then I email my doctor. I'm like, girl, I'm actually really freaking out about this. She was like, uh, you really shouldn't worry. Like, it really doesn't seem like it's cancer, but it might be this weird thing, which is fine. Like, I'm okay if it's the weird thing. Sure. Let me actually shout out to all my warriors who have this.

SPEAKER_00 5:23

Is that the band-aid on your arm?

SPEAKER_01 5:24

Yeah, that's from the biopsy.

SPEAKER_00 5:27

Did they scalpel you?

SPEAKER_01 5:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 5:29

Wow. Is that what it is? Scalpel?

SPEAKER_01 5:30

It was honestly just like a plain razor blade. I was like, what are we doing?

SPEAKER_00 5:34

Then she brings up the Gillette fusion. She's like, alright.

SPEAKER_01 5:37

It's called Pitiriasis Lycinoidis Chronica. Oh, what that mean. Pitieriasis? Yeah, girl, what that mean. Like, yeah, I'm sorry. What that mean? Pitiriasis. They're just making shit up. They're making shit up. So I woke up today and I was like, actually, no, I am gonna die.

SPEAKER_00 5:54

Yeah. Well, we were supposed to film yesterday.

SPEAKER_01 5:56

Yeah, and I literally couldn't. Like, I couldn't move.

SPEAKER_00 5:59

Because y'all, you guys know the schedule by now. We filmed a week in advance, whatever, whatever. I couldn't because on Saturday I was helping Tana on set for something. And then we had to push it. Only day we could do was yesterday. That happened. You were having panic attacks.

SPEAKER_01 6:11

I know. It was horrible. It was stupid.

SPEAKER_00 6:13

No, I felt so bad because I called you on some bullshit, hitting like the. It was like good news too. And I was like. No, I like I pick up the phone. I'm like, rest in peace and gritty. She can buy a page.

SPEAKER_01 6:23

I think I could get out one sentence. I said, I'm having a panic attack.

SPEAKER_00 6:27

But you have to go. I could like hear you holding back the tears. Yeah. I was like, I'm having a panic attack.

SPEAKER_01 6:33

Paige. You got I think I have cancer. Cura called me like three times. I literally let it ring. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 6:39

I've never done that in my life. Wow. That makes me feel like really special. Thank you.

SPEAKER_01 6:43

Sorry. Yes. And then I just said text Anya.

SPEAKER_00 6:48

Oh my God. So now that's why we're filming today. That's why we're all like cozyed up in our PJs, because we're like.

SPEAKER_01 6:54

Send prayers. It's gonna be okay.

SPEAKER_00 6:56

Send hearts in the chat. Yeah, literally prayers in the chat.

SPEAKER_01 6:59

Angel wings.

SPEAKER_00 7:01

Everyone pray for my friends.

SPEAKER_01 7:02

Pray for my butt, for pray for my blood.

SPEAKER_00 7:05

But you know what? It's because someone's hexing us.

SPEAKER_01 7:07

I really genuinely believe. Someone's hexing us.

SPEAKER_00 7:09

Oh, because you had a day. I had a fucking day. I mean, granted, again, it's like Kirkland's signature problems. Like signature. Like it's okay. Like, oh no, I stubbed my toe. Like, woe is me.

SPEAKER_01 7:18

No, but it was like a few things in a row of Kirkland signature problems. I was kind of like, damn, like if that all happened to me in the same day, I'd be pissed.

SPEAKER_00 7:24

Oh, no, entirely. So basically, like what happened? I first of all, I woke up already pissed the fuck off. This was like two days ago. Woke up just mad as hell because I had a dream that my ex got a new girlfriend. So you bet I woke up like this. This fighting me air, bro. Swinging. Like woke up swinging. Already just in a bad mood. I was like, oh my God. And also, I am like psychic. That's where I get my ESP. For real. I get visions. I get downloads from God that come to me in a dream. So I'm like, Aaron's laughing at me, but I swear to God.

SPEAKER_01 7:55

No, it's like me too.

SPEAKER_00 7:56

Because for the most part, it's like my dreams are just me like peeing on the toilet. But then once in a while.

SPEAKER_01 8:01

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_00 8:01

Once in a while, I'll get a breakthrough. Yeah. And it's true. And when it happens, it's fierce. Yeah. So my act is probably seeing a new girl. Whatever. I woke up pissed. Then I was like, you know what? I'm gonna turn my mood around. I'm gonna film a YouTube video doing my makeup because the girls have been asking. Whatever. I'm not fucking Manny M U A. I sit down, I grab my ring light mirror, douche, falls to the fucking floor, shatters everywhere.

SPEAKER_01 8:24

That would have been it for me.

SPEAKER_00 8:25

No, my eyes started twitching. I was like, and it was one of those things I literally, I just started laughing because I was like, oh, you've gotta be fucking kidding me. Right. Like, of course, like of course, of course. So my I started laughing, and then it kind of turned it turned into like crying, and then it just turned into this like huge emotional release that I've just been like pent up. Yeah, and I've been sweeping my feelings under the rug for the past maybe two months. So then it just all just came out, and I'm just staring at this fucking mirror shattered on my floor. I'm like, great, there's another seven years of bad luck. Tack it on to the past fucking 26 that I've been happening. Like, right. Oh my god, give me a break. No, literally. I'm like, there must be some reprieve.

SPEAKER_01 9:01

Speaking a girl while she's down.

SPEAKER_00 9:02

No, like give where is like when does it let up? When does it get better?

SPEAKER_01 9:05

Oh my god. There has to be the Alani and the slipper.

SPEAKER_00 9:07

Again, I I stub my toe. It's like it's not that bad. Yeah. My Alani and the slipper. And then it's like, you know, bad things come in threes. This already happens to me. I'm like, I'm putting myself to bed at 2 p.m. because like I can't handle one more fucking thing. I get into bed. I finally get paid from this thing. I'm like, woohoo, yay. I asked the person, I asked the accountant, the bookkeeper, I said, can you please send it to my new business bank account? It ends with XYZ numbers. Make sure it hits this bank account, please. Yes, I got you, of course. I checked the bank account. Obviously, it hits my personal. No big deal. Whatever. I'm a little irritated. I'm like, it's fine. I'll just transfer it over. I go to transfer the funds. Oh, oh, oh, oh, finger slipped. I transferred it to the wrong fucking account and I can't get it out. And I can't get it out. And I can't get it out. I called Bank of America like six times. I'm not kidding. I'm talking to the robot. Please enter your account number. You're like, representative, person, person, person. I'm on the phone. I'm going help, help, help, help. Ow, ow, ow. Nothing. Mind you, I'm typing in my account number, going beep, beep, beep, beep. It goes, sorry, incorrect. Sorry, incorrect. I'm looking at it, I'm copying it number by number. I said, I think I would know a thing or two. I'm saying it verbally. I'm entering it manually on the phone. It's not letting me in. It's going, due to security reasons, we can't let you access this. And it hangs goodbye.

unknown 10:28

Oh.

SPEAKER_00 10:29

Oh my god. Oh my god, you want me to taste the barrel. You want me to taste the barrel. I'm ready to choke on a bullet.

SPEAKER_01 10:35

Like, little do they know that mirror shattered.

SPEAKER_00 10:38

Lit little do they.

SPEAKER_01 10:40

If they only knew they would let you in.

SPEAKER_00 10:42

They would bypass that security. And again, people are like dealing with like divorce stuff.

SPEAKER_01 10:47

Oh my god. People are dealing with stuff. Cabral was telling me, she said, just to put things into perspective about my my blood, whatever. I'm genuinely the doctor is like, you're fine. We're just running more tests. That's also like, need to make that abundantly clear. Like I don't know what my problem is. My good sis is fine. Like, like, fine. Right. Cabral has a friend who lives in Dubai. Dubai is getting bombed. For sure. I have my issues with Dubai as a country, but great. All that aside, as fuck. Shout out to Dubai chocolate. Love what you do with the chocolate. Everything else is a little cry. But she was like, and my and my friend, she was trying to get on a plane to Greece to get out of Dubai because of the bombs, but she couldn't because of the bomb threats. There was a drone strike. And I was like, I was like, you're like, um, well, my pig isn't doing too well. You're like, I was literally like, so my butt crack hurts.

SPEAKER_00 11:37

Like, what's this gotta do with me? No, I transferred money into the wrong account. Oh no. I'm safe. Oh, I'm like, I'm literally just fine. I'm safe. Like, oh my God. It's like how coddled are we? I know. Where it's like, my biggest issue is like, oh no, I broke a mirror. My doctor, I was on the phone with her today.

SPEAKER_01 11:55

She said, if you do have anything, it's going to be super treatable and won't affect the rest of your life.

SPEAKER_00 11:59

You're like, no, but how can I amplify this? You're like, how can I make this worse?

SPEAKER_01 12:03

And I'm like, I threw up. I literally threw up. I got good news. I know.

SPEAKER_00 12:09

No, literally, literally, good news, and we're making it into something new.

SPEAKER_01 12:12

Literally. Also, like yesterday I had really great good news because the podcast is doing well. And then also I got a job. Wait, what? It's a whole thing. It's like part-time. Oh, okay. Don't worry. Don't piss me out. It's not gonna get in the it's not gonna get in the mix. It's not that one that we talked about earlier.

SPEAKER_00 12:25

The feeling that I'm getting is like when your best friend gets a boyfriend and you're like, what the fuck? It's like, how dare my unemployed friend get a job.

SPEAKER_01 12:32

This job is gonna be actually really great. It's a gallery attendant. That's sick. I know. I'm really excited. Wait, I'm also doing social media for them. Okay, wait, I love that. Thank God.

SPEAKER_00 12:43

Hey now. Oh my god, snaps and tapes. Thank God. Thank you. God. Wait, that's good. I know I'm really excited. I want to dive in. I have so many fucking things. I know.

SPEAKER_01 12:52

Let's dive in now that we've covered where we're coming from.

SPEAKER_00 12:55

Okay. We were just texting about this. How, and we say it on every fucking episode, we are prophetic. It's crazy. It's scary. It's getting scary. Like it started as a bit, but now it's really getting to a place of like, oh my god, our tongues hold power. Like, literally. Like, literally last episode, we had Oscar on. Shout out. Love him. Don't worry, he'll be back. Oh yeah. We haven't asked him, but he'll be back. We just know. He'll be back. We know things. Yeah, trust us. When he was on, we were talking about how like him and Jake Shane are kind of cut from the same cloth, and like it's not his op in any means, but he's like, oh my god, it's so funny. Like in the podcast space, like Jake Shane is like the top tier. Like whatever.

SPEAKER_01 13:34

I fulfill that niche too. Exactly.

SPEAKER_00 13:36

And we had this whole discourse around Jake Shane, and we're talking on the podcast, saying every time we bring someone up, they get cancelled the next week.

SPEAKER_01 13:45

It happened in poor Jake Shane. Oh, Jake Shane. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I know he's feeling the same way that I'm feeling because again, we have the same disorders.

SPEAKER_00 13:54

Oh, oh, poor thing wants to jump off a fucking bridge. I know it.

SPEAKER_01 13:57

Feel for him so badly. Like, it's gonna be okay. You're gonna make it through this.

SPEAKER_00 14:00

You'll be fine. You'll be fine because really the punishment was not worth the crime. Like the the backlash that you're receiving on this is like disproportional, and I'm so sorry. But like basically, if anyone out there doesn't know, Jake Shane just hosted the Vanity Fair.

SPEAKER_01 14:17

The Vanity Fair after the Oscars party. Yes.

SPEAKER_00 14:19

And he did it with Quen and he did it with Britney Broski. Um, Quinlyn Blackwell and Britney Broski. And while he was interviewing celebrities and what have you, Julia Fox comes up and he asks her, like, oh, what was your favorite movie? Or like, what's your favorite movie in the Oscars? Like, that's like nominated, whatever. I don't even know what I'm saying. And she said, Oh my gosh, like if I had legs, I'd kick you as an amazing movie. And she kind of like starts to elaborate on why she thinks it is, and he just cuts her off and he goes, Wasn't the kid so annoying? She goes, Well, actually, and she kind of like starts to explain to him, like coming from a place of love, being like, Well, like the kid in the movie has an illness, and it's kind of like reflected, like the kid is intentionally supposed to be annoying, so that you feel like the the the anxiety, exactly like the anxiety and like the weight that this mother has, like this entire movie, which is like what the entire premise is about. But um, Jake Shane is receiving lashings. Lashings.

SPEAKER_01 15:18

You'd think that he like said bomb the opera. Literally. Literally, also, you tried to watch I if I had likes, I'd kick you.

SPEAKER_00 15:29

I had to pause it every 20 minutes.

SPEAKER_01 15:30

I only saw five minutes of it. It was in the um someone else was watching it, it was in the middle, and like the baby had was being left in the doctor's office. I literally was like, so I'm gonna go downstairs.

SPEAKER_00 15:39

Yeah, no, that part especially. It was it was just a lot of loud, obnoxious, yeah, repetitive noises. Right. And it drove me to insanity, which was the entire point of the movie, and you're supposed to feel that way. Right. Um, but I had to like take I had to do it in 20 minute intervals because I was like, this is a lot.

SPEAKER_01 15:57

And we both already feel that way without it.

SPEAKER_00 15:59

Yeah, right. I'm like that. Kind of like resting state. I'm already getting that. That's why I didn't watch Hamnet. I didn't watch that for other reasons, but Really?

SPEAKER_01 16:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 16:07

Oh, like Gracie Abrams, your time is now. Literally, I'm like, Yeah, but I wanted Jesse Buckley to win and she won.

SPEAKER_01 16:18

Thank God.

SPEAKER_00 16:18

Okay, well, I didn't see it, but I saw clips, obviously, and her perfor like her performance was outstanding from what I saw.

SPEAKER_01 16:26

I wanted her to win. I also am really happy that Michael B. Jordan won.

SPEAKER_00 16:30

Oh my god. Oh my god, Michael B stands for blow my back out, Jordan.

SPEAKER_01 16:36

You're the girl at the movie theater who like broke her braces when Black Panther came out. Do you remember that?

SPEAKER_00 16:41

That was me. I'm not kidding. Oh my god, he's so fucking fine. He is so fucking fine. He's like insane. Oh my god. Yeah, and just like his performance. Obviously, he so deserved to win. Okay. He so deserved to win, and I'm so happy that he did.

SPEAKER_01 16:55

Me freaking too. I really wanted to win.

SPEAKER_00 16:58

I know. For best picture.

SPEAKER_01 17:00

Yeah, because I'm really anti-one battle after another. I haven't seen it. Okay. I'm like So give me give me your take. Okay, I'm like a little scared too, because I know there are a lot of people who love it. That's okay, girl. Speak your truth. I'm just a little too woke for it. That's okay. I just think it has some super weird stereotypes. I think it's weird that Paul Thomas Anderson, this white guy, wrote it. I think it's weird that Leonardo DiCaprio, who's uh building a hotel in Israel, started in it. Like, I think everything is a little fishy. Yeah. It's a little like savory.

SPEAKER_00 17:32

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_01 17:32

I didn't love it. Okay. But it was like the cinematography was beautiful. Sure. And the honestly, like the plot, it made sense. It was very interesting. It just sucked that it was like all of these weird stereotypes. Did Tiana Taylor win anything? She won for supporting. Okay. And then also so right? And so she won something.

SPEAKER_00 17:51

I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 17:52

Oh wait, maybe she didn't, because I think Weapons won for supporting.

SPEAKER_00 17:56

Oh, for Gladys. Yeah. What's her name? Amy Madigan. Madigan, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh my god, and nothing for Gretchen Wieners. Oh my god, Timmy. Nothing for Gretchen Wieners.

SPEAKER_01 18:09

Oh my god. That was his Elvis movie.

SPEAKER_00 18:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 18:12

That was his Austin Butler Elvis.

SPEAKER_00 18:14

Oh, and I keep seeing everyone commenting, being like, you know, Kylie's gonna break up with him in one week.

SPEAKER_01 18:18

I know. And you know Chris is like girl.

SPEAKER_00 18:21

Yeah, she's like, Kylie, time's up.

SPEAKER_01 18:23

Yeah, the contract's almost over.

SPEAKER_00 18:25

Oh my god. But I was like, I was thinking to myself too, imagine how embarrassing. He's literally getting nominated for an Oscar. I'm like, imagine how embarrassing to do such heavy, intense promo. I know. The marketing behind that, and then to flop not one win, and he was nominated like nine times. I know. That, yeah. It was like the Elvis movie. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 18:46

But honestly, Hardy Supreme just pissed me off.

SPEAKER_00 18:51

It did. It was just constant fucking anxiety.

SPEAKER_01 18:53

Because anything will piss me off. That's also what I'm learning. Anything will piss me off.

SPEAKER_00 18:57

I could walk outside, the sun's too bright. Like sun's too bright. Any, I'll find anything. My snake too juicy. My lobster too lettery. Like that is me.

SPEAKER_01 19:06

Anything. I will have a problem with anything. At the end of the movie, Amarty Supreme, when he looks at the baby and starts crying, and then everybody wants to rule the world and started playing. Yeah. I laughed. Like, can we be serious? Can we be serious for just one moment? Sure. You played ping pong in Japan. Now I can become a father. You fly back to America, you're like, fine, I'll be a father. You see the baby, you cry. Everybody wants to rule the world, plays.

SPEAKER_00 19:34

And what's your take on that? Stupid, stupid. See, I thought I literally thought of it more as like he saw the kid and for the first time in his life, he was like, fuck, I have like a real responsibility that I can't avoid. And I think it was like crying in that sense where it wasn't like tears of joy. I think it was more so like, fuck, this is like my real first real life thing that I can't run from. Like my first problem that I can't avoid. At least like that's how I interpreted it.

SPEAKER_01 19:58

I would I would rather interpret it like that.

SPEAKER_00 20:00

Which I think just also goes along like that is his character. Avoiding every problem that comes his way, just like dodging every fucking bullet, everyone's getting pissed off by him, and I think finally he saw that kid and he's like, fuck, this is the first thing I can't run from. That's what I thought. I think that's great. Thank you. I need to make an IMDB.

SPEAKER_01 20:16

No, seriously. Or wait, no, letterbox, letters.

SPEAKER_00 20:19

Or that.

SPEAKER_01 20:20

My like my letterbox is like slut yas. And whenever I try to post it, it gets taken down because someone because like Instagram or TikTok thinks I'm calling someone a slut.

SPEAKER_00 20:29

Slut yas. Oh, oh, oh.

SPEAKER_01 20:33

Oh my god, I just went on Instagram.

SPEAKER_00 20:36

Holy shit. But I'm sure if you scroll twice, you can find something to talk about. Okay, speaking of being prophetic, last episode, I was talking about Vinny Hacker. This is crazy! I know, I know. We're like Trisha. It's crazy. Like the her manifestation level. Yeah, like we have like an ounce of that. We have the like the Trisha trickle down. Yeah, the trickle down manifestation. Last episode, I was talking about Vinny Hacker and like this running joke. Well, I have my friend's contact saved under his name. It was a whole thing to like piss my ex off. It was really stupid. Anyway, but I was saying, like, I was like, oh my God, like love Vinny Hacker. Like, you like such a big crush on him, whatever. I'm not kidding. We leave from the podcast.

SPEAKER_01 21:17

From the podcast.

SPEAKER_00 21:18

We go to Health Nut. I get in my car. I'm driving. I get a fucking notification on my phone. Partiful invite. Vinny Hacker's F1 party. I said, bro, what the hell? What the hell is going on? So obviously immediately I'm like, RSVP, I'm going. I'm going. I show up. It's just like the typical, like, the typical LA people. You go out, you see all the influencers, whatever, whatever. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_01 21:41

So crazy.

SPEAKER_00 21:42

Like the more I think about it, like it's it's really like insane. And I'm just waltzing around. I'm like three tequila sodas deep. I turn to my right and I see Charlie from Love Island. You would have thought it was Kim K. It's the first time he's ever been like, oh my god, you know? Literally, I'm not kidding. Because one thing about me too, like, actually, no, that's a lie. I was gonna say, I was gonna say, like, I'll hold myself accountable. Yeah, I was gonna say, like, I'll go up to a celebrity and be like, I love you so much, like I have no shame. But no, I'm like pretty coy about it. Like, I'll be like, I don't know you. Right? Yeah. Move, bitch. Yeah. Move bitch as hell. So I see him and I'm like, no, no, no, I have to take action because Molly would love this. And in that moment, I thought, and I was like, you and your photo album. If you guys keep up, you know that every time Molly sees Charlie from Love Island. We take a selfie.

SPEAKER_01 22:41

I go up to him, I go, Oh my god, I'm such a big fan. It's so nice to meet you. Can I have a selfie? Thank you. And I leave. It's happened three times. And you have like six pictures with him. It's in this. Oh, oh my god. We'll show it. But like, I think we did we talk about it last week. We definitely talked about it. We talked about it.

SPEAKER_00 22:58

We definitely talked about it before.

SPEAKER_01 22:59

And because it's just so, it's like, why do we keep going to the same places? It's because we're both flops. Like, yeah, no, your paths keep crossing.

SPEAKER_00 23:07

Like, oh my god, that one kills me. No, it's my favorite. It's always you always smile like this, you go.

SPEAKER_01 23:14

And then Paige calls me, so I get another photo.

SPEAKER_00 23:17

Okay, wait, so I let me explain like how I even like approached him. I'm standing there and I'm talking to my friend Taryn, and I'm going, again, forward to kilosotas deep. I'm going, is that Charlie from Love Island? He's like, Yeah, wait, do you want to meet him? He's so nice. I'm like, well, no, no, no. I was like, I have to explain to you. Like, my friend has like this running bit, like, whatever, whatever. And I go, I need to like ask for a picture with him, but like without being fucking weird, like, how do I do that? He goes, No, don't worry, Charlie's so sweet. He's gonna think it's hilarious. I'm like, okay, bet. Perfect. He goes, I'll introduce you. Taryn walks me up. Also, mind you, it's Charlie and like two other guys, and they're kind of mid-conversation. Yeah. It's one of those weird, like interjecting, like interjecting things where I'm like, Yeah, hey. Hi, are you? Yeah. We all introduce ourselves, and now we're just kind of standing there awkwardly. Me and Taryn are just standing there. Charlie and the two friends are still just talking, like in their triangle. So now I'm just waiting for him to be done.

SPEAKER_02 24:09

Because I'm like, Oh.

SPEAKER_00 24:11

They finally finish. I go, I have to be so honest with you. I explain your whole bit. I'm like my friend, she does this thing, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. He goes, wait, like, I need to see like one of the pictures with her. Like, what's she look like? I was like, hey, better yet, let me FaceTime her. I call Molly with him. We answer the phone. I'm like, this. I'm like, no, no, no. And he's like, he has never had a reaction like that in his life. I went, shut up. So after I do my big one, we hang up and I'm like, can I just get a selfie with you for the shits and giggles of it all? And I'll insert it right here. He looked like the fan. Now I'm getting. But we coupled up. We coupled up. Oh my god. Also, lie. He was not like. Uh-oh, here I go. He was very awkward.

SPEAKER_01 25:03

He was he is he is very awkward. I'm sure. Every time I met him.

SPEAKER_00 25:07

So sweet, so nice. Three times in passing. Like, mind you, I didn't even have like a normal conversation with him. I was like, hey, can I take a picture with you for a bit? Yeah, I say the same words to him. But like he was super n he was super fucking nice, but just like a little awkward. Yeah. And then after that interaction, like I didn't know what to do, so I was just like, okay, see ya. Bye. Bye. And I just walked away. Oh my god. But like back-to-back events, Vinnie Hacker, Charlie from Love Island. I was like, what the fuck is happening? The Jake Shane, Billy Eilish liked my TikTok. Insane. Oh. Clavicular liked her TikTok.

unknown 25:46

Ah.

SPEAKER_00 25:47

That one sent shit too. Can't make it up. Oh my god, I would be scared in my spine. No, Molly, I'm not kidding. I was so on edge for the rest of the day. Basically, I posted this TikTok where I was talking shit about clavicular and like the women who surround them, like, you know, willingly hang out with them. Because it's the it's literally the tweet that's like, I don't support all women. A lot of you bitches are very dumb. Because I'm like, as a woman, why are you subjecting yourself to that? Why are you willingly hanging out with this man who doesn't even see you as a human being who's looking at you like, oh, your Maxilla's obsessed. Oh, you're you're a fucking food. Like, whatever. Why don't you know what they say? Like, whatever. So I'm like, why are you even doing that? And then I like made this whole TikTok being like it has to be some like deep internal wound that you're It's like gonna crinkle like crazy because I have to drink it with the Dr.

SPEAKER_01 26:33

Pepper thing.

SPEAKER_00 26:34

Have to. So whatever. I would just make this whole TikTok being like it has to be like this deep internal wound of being like, it's a validation thing. Like these girls are hanging out with clavicular because they need to feel like, oh, well, if clavicular thinks I'm pretty, then I guess I'm like actually pretty.

SPEAKER_01 26:50

And if he hates all women and he likes me, then like maybe I'm okay. Exactly.

SPEAKER_00 26:54

Exactly. So it's these girls like throwing themselves at him, and I'm like, guys, fucking stop. Like get it together. Like, let's all collectively sweep. And stop reinforcing this behavior because all it is, it's teaching the young boys who watch him that like you will get women if you disrespect them. True. And it's just another Andrew Tate evolution. It's the same fucking thing. Anyway, I post this whole TikTok going on like a fucking tangent about this. I check my likes, clavicular. I said, oh my god. I was like, fuck. I was like, first of all, that's really scary that he's like self-aware.

SPEAKER_01 27:26

Yeah, and like on TikTok like that.

SPEAKER_00 27:28

Yeah, right, right. And he liked it when the video only had like 10k likes.

SPEAKER_01 27:31

So he's looking for his name.

SPEAKER_00 27:32

For sure, for sure. He was scouring.

SPEAKER_01 27:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 27:35

So he's scouring. I get the I get the notification. I'm not kidding. I went, oh, shivers down my spine. Easy. No. I was I was so spooked. I was like, oh no, he's gonna react to this. I was like, he's gonna stitch this and I'm gonna get shit on, and all the boys in the comments are gonna be like this fucking fat chud. Like you thought yellow dress was bad. Like, yeah, no, I thought yellow dress was bad. I was about to get clavic. Like, oh my god. Oh my god, it was it was terrifying. So that whole 24 hours, like I was living in just fucking panic mode.

SPEAKER_01 28:06

Girl, Valid, did you see the video of the guy who also like whose like clavicular and his wig got cut off, like taken off?

SPEAKER_00 28:12

Mm-mm.

SPEAKER_01 28:15

Basically, it was like another looks maxer. And um he's been talking about it. I know, like, he like was with a bunch of girls on a live stream, and like one of them took his hat off and his wig goes with it. You're lying. I wish I was. You're lying so fucking funny. And then this one girl goes, I knew it! That's so you, like, oh I found it. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_00 28:46

And what's and what is so rich, what is so rich is you know, this man's on livestream, like shitting on women, calling women fat incel bitches. Like, literally, Oh my god. God shows him. I you know, God shows him every once in a while in beautiful ways. Oh, he really comes through sometimes and I'm like, yes, you are.

SPEAKER_01 29:03

And what's even funnier is like all of the comments were like, oh, his cord is all spiked. Because they're all like obsessed with that.

SPEAKER_00 29:10

It was so good. Like, what I know, I know. Well, I had some people like commenting under my video, like some like clavicular fucking dick goblins, like I don't know, dick gobblers commenting under my video, being like, annihilate this Ford. I said, What the fuck is that evening? What is that what that means? I'm not even kidding what that means. I was like on Reddit threads, like, what is Floyd?

SPEAKER_01 29:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 29:30

Apparently it's like derogatory towards females. Well, that means obviously. But I was like a little, I was like, okay, so what now? It's like beautiful girl. Right. Making my own meaning. I'm reclaiming that.

SPEAKER_01 29:42

Yeah. So Secret Lives of Warman Wives, the fourth season just came out. Okay. They pop these seasons out like how they pop out kids. Okay, like I'm talking twice a year. But this new season started to film before the last season's reunion. They're already filming season five now, but they haven't filmed the season four reunion. So season four just came out. This was probably like summer. Like August. That's when they were filming. Taylor Frankie Paul. Do you know why Secret Lives of Mormon Wives is a thing?

SPEAKER_00 30:16

Um, I've never seen it. I really don't know shit from ass about it, except for I do know that like they're all swingers, right? And like that's why it became popular.

SPEAKER_01 30:23

So basically, this girl Taylor and this girl Miranda, they were swinging.

SPEAKER_00 30:27

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 30:27

Taylor, they're all popular on TikTok for these like TikTok dances.

SPEAKER_00 30:31

Did wait, sorry. Did they get a show because they got popular on TikTok?

SPEAKER_01 30:35

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 30:36

Oh, okay. So they started like mom talk.

SPEAKER_01 30:38

Mom talk, right? Exactly. And the swinging scandal that also brought a lot, which was like very good for the show. And you know that video of like the woman like dancing by the baby, and it's like little Lee was told she had like like low oxygen levels, so we took her in, like to the Nikki. Oh, that Whitney, that's one of the Mormon wives. Um, you've like definitely seen their stuff. They're all like crazy, they're all Mormon. Honestly, there are some that are my favorite. Michaela, Macy, honestly, like Miranda, Layla, they're becoming my favorites. Anyway.

SPEAKER_00 31:09

How many are there?

SPEAKER_01 31:10

So many, and they all sort of look the same, so it's really hard to keep track of it. Like they're all bronze with like the Utah.

SPEAKER_00 31:15

Season one, they are all bronze. Yeah, I see.

SPEAKER_01 31:19

It is so hard to keep them like separated.

SPEAKER_00 31:22

Like you could like put Tate McRae in the lineup and she's like there at it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 31:26

And now, like, through the season, some of the hair gets lighter, some of the hair gets darker. So now it's easier to tell, but it's still tough.

SPEAKER_00 31:32

The villains just like get more blonde.

SPEAKER_01 31:34

Yes. Literally, like, it's crazy. But basically, Taylor Frankie Paul, the girl who started, who like is the reason why Secret Lives Mormon Wives is a thing, is now going to be the Bachelorette. Okay. Okay. Now season one of Secret Lives of Mormon Wives first episode, they're doing kind of like a pre-pilot. Like they're filming to see how it goes. She gets into a domestic violence fight. Her attacking with her boyfriend and baby daddy Dakota. Oh, stop it right fucking now. Cut to now, this is like four years later, post The Bachelorette filming, as of like two days ago, she's arrested because she chokes Dakota with his own necklace. Shut the literal fuck up. Taylor Frankie Paul. The Bachelorette. This is what we have. I know. It almost feels like the president.

SPEAKER_00 32:24

It's like, this is what we have.

SPEAKER_01 32:26

Like it's crazy. I'm like, what? Oh my god.

SPEAKER_00 32:33

So are they gonna continue with her as The Bachelorette?

SPEAKER_01 32:36

Well, it's already I'll film The Bachelorette.

SPEAKER_00 32:38

Oh!

SPEAKER_01 32:39

She like just was just like released from The Bachelorette.

SPEAKER_00 32:42

Oh, okay. Oh, okay, okay, okay. What's with these reality TV girls? Right? Because then you have Huda with the restraining order. Restraining order!

SPEAKER_01 32:55

Yes, did you see the leaked text? Yes, yes. She's like, I'm I I swear on my daughter, I will throw myself off this building.

SPEAKER_00 33:02

That's fucking insane. I saw some HUDA like some Huda stands like still trying to defend her. But how? Everyone's saying they're like, first of all, it's her ex-boyfriend. His name's Louie? Yeah, Louis Louis, Louis's Louie? I don't know, man.

SPEAKER_01 33:23

Like honestly, it doesn't matter. It doesn't even matter.

SPEAKER_00 33:30

Huda's ex's girlfriend got a restraining order against Huda. And it's like, that's how you know that the texts are legit, and that is like concrete. She like shows up, she's threatening to like come inside. She's allegedly. Allegedly. She gets inside. She's sending pictures of the inside of the building.

SPEAKER_01 33:57

Yes, she's threatening to like um, what is it, do harm to both the ex-girlfriend and their child.

SPEAKER_00 34:06

Yeah, yeah. And then she's also threatening to like off herself. Exactly. She's saying, like, if you don't answer me, well, maybe I'm like misquoting her, but I'm sure it's something along the line, alleged, alleged. Alleged, alleged. Something along the lines of like, if you don't answer me, if like I can't talk to you right now, I won't be here tomorrow. I saw that, and it was like, I'm not in a good place.

SPEAKER_01 34:25

And then she sends a picture of a rooftop, but she doesn't show her on a rooftop, and it literally looked like she Googled rooftop POV.

SPEAKER_00 34:31

You know, she's in chat, like literally like, can you send me?

SPEAKER_01 34:34

Yeah, for sure. That's what it looked like. It because it was like a weird angle. Like a kind of like a bird's eye view angle.

SPEAKER_00 34:39

Oh, yeah. So she was like standing on like a ladder.

SPEAKER_01 34:41

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It kind of like like point five. I'm like, you would know. And she's short too, so you know it'd be like an upward angle. It was weird, and I was like, there's no way you're actually there, obviously.

SPEAKER_00 34:50

Oh my gosh, but it's still just like she's clearly mentally unwell. I'm not kidding. Like, someone get her help. Someone get her help, get her into a fucking hospital. And then it's like you still have the people being like, we love you, Huda, we defend you. It's like it's like Trump. How? Yeah. Oh my gosh. It's like, ugh.

SPEAKER_01 35:08

Yeah. Like, let's get those work in.

SPEAKER_00 35:12

And again, it's like it was, it was, you could see it on the show. It was like writing, writing was on the wall.

SPEAKER_01 35:18

Yeah, it was like the clavicular thing. You see it happening before it happens. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 35:22

I mean, you're surprised when it happens. Yeah, and then everyone's like, oh my god, wait. She was acting like that on Love Island. Yeah. It was like, there was like a billboard warning sign, everyone just walking right past everyone reading it and going, okay. Great, great, great. Yeah. Yeah. So any fucking way.

SPEAKER_01 35:35

Hold up.

SPEAKER_00 35:35

That's where we're at with reality TV.

SPEAKER_01 35:37

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 35:38

We should go on something. True.

SPEAKER_01 35:41

We're going on Survivor.

SPEAKER_00 35:43

Traitors. Never even see it. Traitors.

SPEAKER_01 35:45

I would do traitors.

SPEAKER_00 35:46

Never even seen it, but like I think we'd be gonna do it.

SPEAKER_01 35:49

Johnny Weir and Tar Lopinski. I know. We'd like pretend not to know each other.

SPEAKER_00 35:53

I know, but who's she?

SPEAKER_01 35:54

Like, wait.

SPEAKER_00 35:55

Oh my god, we need to.

SPEAKER_01 35:57

Um Survivor 50 is happening.

SPEAKER_00 36:00

I've never even seen. I'm so bad with reality TV. The only reality TV I've ever consumed was Jersey Shore when I was like in middle school. Which honestly, which leads me to my next topic. Oh, good. Have you been seeing everyone on TikTok talking about the gate program? Molly. Wait. Wait. No. Gate. Gate. Yeah. Wait, have you not seen anything? Wait, maybe I have tell me what it is. Oh my god. Okay. Essentially, and maybe you're too young. What year were you born? Like 2016? Pretty much. Three. I know. Right. So I was like in middle school. Okay, so it was kind of like early 2000s, but it's this everyone on TikTok is talking about how like early 2000s kids like in elementary school were part of this gate program, right? And I got I the as like they were explaining what it was, I started to like get memories of it. And I was like, oh wait, yeah, like this happened to me too.

SPEAKER_01 36:57

Uh-huh. Mind you, like Oh, when you listen to the thingies?

SPEAKER_00 37:00

Yes. Okay. So basically all these people are saying that.

SPEAKER_01 37:02

Gonna clean my glasses while you go.

SPEAKER_00 37:04

Sure. Like that this gate program was essentially like a government operation. The CIA was coming into like elementary schools. Yes. That the CIA was secretly coming into elementary schools and testing the kids to see if there's like any kids with like ESP, essentially. Yes, I heard about this. To see if any of the kids have like psychologically like you know, abilities. So they're saying like they they would take the kids and bring them like at least in my school, and then like it started to come back to me. They would take you into the nurse's office and they would give you like headphones. And you put the headphones on. Beep. Yeah. And they would give you like beep. Yeah, like really quiet, and you would kind of be like anxious. Like that's like where my anxiety started. So I was like, Yeah. Like really quiet. Yeah. And like you would have to raise your hand every time you hear a beep. Right. So just standard testing. So they would test for your hearing, they would test your eyesight. Um, they would check if you had like scoliosis. Um, and then they would also, did you ever get like the pink fluoride? They would give you like a cup of like a Dixie cup or like a plastic cup of fluoride.

unknown 38:10

No.

SPEAKER_00 38:10

So that's where it gets a little weird. So like the early 2000s, we would get pink fluoride. They'd bring it into the classroom, they would hand it out. Amish, did you get that? Yeah, like at from what? Never fucking mind. Typical man. Pager's drugged. Basically, I was part of the gate program, though. They would come into the classrooms and give you like this pink fluoride. And before the testing, you would drink the fluoride. What? And then they'd bring you in. But anyway, it's all this to say. It's all these people online acting like they're fucking in Hawkins' lab. Like everyone wants to be 11 so bad. They're like, you are just like Papa. Or like the gifted Yeah. Okay. It's like, mind you, whole time they're just testing to see if you're autistic or have like if you're neurodivergent. They're just like, dude, like, do they have a lot of people? Making sure you're not deaf. Literally. And then everyone's like, I was part of the gate program. Like the CIA was well, clearly you weren't picked.

unknown 39:07

Right.

SPEAKER_00 39:08

So I'm like, anyway, you're still here. But then it's all the people, like, you know, like the tinfoil hat, like the believers, the conspiracy believers, and the comments being like, I was a part of this. Everyone's going, right? And now I have really lucid dreams. Right. Correlation does not equal causation. Like Lucid Dreams. What are you doing?

SPEAKER_01 39:25

You're just like, in my dream last night, there was a wolf. Yeah, bruh. It means something.

SPEAKER_00 39:29

Yeah, like, okay. But it's all these people now, like, thinking that they were a part of this like new age MK Ultra.

SPEAKER_01 39:37

Have you heard of the Hill?

SPEAKER_00 39:39

What's the Hill?

SPEAKER_01 39:40

The Hill. I haven't heard of this either. Basically, there is this study done by what I assume to be scientists. Mm-hmm. Where they take non-verbal autistic kids. Right. And they give them like um spelling boards. Or like a leading board. Sort of. Okay. But like where they can, like, you know, where they can talk or whatever. Sure. And apparently, the the scientists, researchers, they think that all of these kids are telepathic and communicating via an autistic kid only server that's in their brains called the hill.

SPEAKER_00 40:16

Like they're beluga whales.

SPEAKER_01 40:22

I said, so there's no way that's real.

SPEAKER_00 40:24

Like, where are they getting this from? The hill? Honestly, oh my god. If they are like really linking up like just via mine, like that's so sick. I know. And then I said, hold on, I'm gonna go to the hill. No, wait, let me get there. That's just-no way it's real, right? Like I go there, like when I do yoga and they do like Shavasana, and I'm like, okay, I'm at the hood of the lake. Yo, meet me at the hill. Like a bunch of boys on Fortnite. Okay, wait, so how'd they how'd they figure this out? Just because like the autistic kids like said, like the they all said the hill. Okay. Okay, so they're meeting at the hill. So the gate program, the hill. The hill. I'm like, what if there's some connection?

SPEAKER_01 41:05

You get through the gate, you go to the hill.

SPEAKER_00 41:09

And we're going to hell. Like, we're going to hell.

SPEAKER_01 41:13

Speaking of autism, Love on the Spectrum season four.

SPEAKER_00 41:16

Wait, oh my god. I'm so excited.

SPEAKER_01 41:19

So excited. I love it. Is it the same cast? It's the same cast. They're adding more people. It looks like um Pari, Princess Purple Pari. Yeah. She's making like a cameo in it. Okay. A lot of them I think are making like cameos. Obviously, Abby and David are the ones that are like, they're the main.

SPEAKER_00 41:35

I was gonna say hats by Abby, love her down. Hats by Abby. Love her down.

SPEAKER_01 41:38

And at the end of the trailer, they show a ring.

SPEAKER_00 41:41

With them, or like it's just a ring. Just a ring.

SPEAKER_01 41:44

Because obviously Abby wants to get married. This was like a big thing last season where she was like, David, when am we gonna get married? And he went, I don't know. And she went, she said, When?

SPEAKER_00 41:51

Stop! Wait, I love her. Put your foot down for me. Set your boundaries. Yup, yep. That's how you got them. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 41:56

You're the milk to my Chardonnay. Oh my god, love.

SPEAKER_00 41:59

You know Connor?

SPEAKER_01 42:00

Of course I know Connor.

SPEAKER_00 42:01

His sister Anna follows me. And I'm not kidding. It literally felt like Kim Cat.

SPEAKER_01 42:05

That's like crazy. I know. We have that mom on the pod.

SPEAKER_00 42:08

Literally, I was fangirling. I was like, girl, love you. And she's just like the sweetest, cutest person ever. She's everything to me.

SPEAKER_01 42:14

That's awesome. At the Wicked premiere, Tanner and Connor were there, and I literally was like, It's Tanner and Connor! It's Tanner and Connor. I was freaking out. No, literally, they're like, What's wrong with you? But I met Princess Purple Pari and Tina. Uh-huh. And they kind of read me for filth because I go, Oh my god, I'm so like, it's great to meet you guys. I love the show, like, like I love you guys, lesbian down, like purple, like I love it. Like like Tea Princess. And then Pari goes, Oh, well, I'm meeting Ariana Grande later. Are you meeting Ariana Grande?

SPEAKER_00 42:45

And I was literally like, hmm. Mm-hmm. No, I'm not.

SPEAKER_01 42:49

I am not, but I hope you have the best time. And I have a picture with them.

SPEAKER_00 42:53

She big doged you. No, she literally was like, Sorry, you meet Ariana.

SPEAKER_01 42:56

I was like, right. Should I have followers you got? Thank you for putting me in my place, Pari.

SPEAKER_00 43:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 43:01

She was amazing. Humbled the fuck out of you. As fuck. As fuck.

SPEAKER_00 43:05

That's good. Yeah, we should have her on.

SPEAKER_01 43:07

I would love that. I know.

unknown 43:09

I know.

SPEAKER_00 43:10

Hats by Abby, I would have her on, but I'm not kidding.

SPEAKER_01 43:12

She would humble the god.

SPEAKER_00 43:15

She would come on here and just read me the film.

SPEAKER_01 43:17

Yeah, she'd be like, so why don't you wash your hair yet?

SPEAKER_00 43:19

No, Lily, you should make your scalp like looks a little greasy.

SPEAKER_01 43:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 43:21

I couldn't handle it. She'd be like, give me a big forehead. I'd be like, yeah, I know. And like the sky's still blue, so.

SPEAKER_01 43:27

Oh my god. But I love all of her songs. Water slide. Shout out. I didn't know she made music. Oh, she makes music. I know all the words. You're on the drop slide. Oh, wait, no. I'm on the drop slide. You're in the lazy river.

SPEAKER_00 43:41

Oh, you're a fan.

SPEAKER_01 43:42

And then we eat a pizza.

SPEAKER_00 43:45

That's it.

SPEAKER_01 43:46

Well, no, it's you're the milk to my Chardonnay.

SPEAKER_00 43:49

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_01 43:50

No one treats me better. We're so good together.

SPEAKER_00 43:54

I'm gonna stream in my car on the way home.

SPEAKER_01 43:56

What is it? Boyfriend Forever. Will you be My boyfriend forever.

SPEAKER_00 44:01

Her and Trisha should collab on a song. Like, oh my god, chicken fingers and lipo. Big Panthers. Holy shit. Are you going to Coachella? I know. I know. It's like, oh my God, boo, boo, boo, whatever.

SPEAKER_01 44:18

I would die if I step foot in Coachella Valley. Oh, like in what way? I have such a troubling time in the heat and the sun. And I have a weak. I'm weak.

SPEAKER_00 44:28

Yeah, me too. And it's oh my god, the walking. I'll freaking. The walking, the blisters.

SPEAKER_01 44:34

I freaked out when my doctor said you probably don't have cancer. Imagine how I'd freak out if at Coachella. Have you ever been? No.

SPEAKER_00 44:41

Oh yeah, girl, no. If you don't go then, because it's like imagine having a bad trip and you're on Molly and it's like Doja Cat performing, there's like demons on the stage. Like that happened to me. Oh my god. I thought I was descending to hell. Um, literally, I'm hearing voices. I'm going, oh. Oh my God. Like, I went to the hill. Okay. The gate. Um, well, I think I'm going on accident. Right. So, like, Trevi, she gets passes directly from her music group agency, whatever the fuck you call it. Yeah. Um, and she puts us like all in a group chat. She's like, like this message if you want to pass. I didn't like the message because the tickets are out of my budget. They are so fucking expensive.

SPEAKER_01 45:29

They're like rent.

SPEAKER_00 45:31

Yeah, more.

SPEAKER_01 45:32

More.

SPEAKER_00 45:33

More.$2,800 for an artist pass. I said, see ya. See ya. Like that would put me in the hole. Like, oh my God. And I know some of you guys think just because we have this little thing going on, y'all.

SPEAKER_01 45:44

Like funded. Like it's crazy.

SPEAKER_00 45:47

I'm tapping into the savings. Like, nope. Um anyway. But I think people think because like you post online, like you're making million. I swear to God. Um duh. So um, anyway, so I accidentally am going to Coachella because I never liked the message. And then I get a text. Hope you're excited. You're going. I said, that's fucking crazy. So now I owe someone$2,800 that I can't, that I just don't. So anyway, I guess I'm going. And I'm not even like that excited about the lineup.

SPEAKER_01 46:19

Yeah, everyone needs to use their hype points when this video goes.

SPEAKER_00 46:22

No, please, guys. No, because now it's like I sound like the fucking influencers who's going online and begging, like, oh my god, ling can't go to Coachella. Shut up. Whatever. I'm like, let me use my ounce of fame. Let me capitalize on it.

SPEAKER_01 46:37

But it's Justin Bieber and Sabrina Carpenter.

SPEAKER_00 46:40

Yeah, but and then Carol G. Cat's eye. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 46:43

Adi Audi, like a bag of talkies on the shit.

SPEAKER_00 46:46

Well, I'm just going because Ethel Kane.

SPEAKER_01 46:49

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 46:49

But also, it's like I've seen her before for like 80 bucks. So I'm like, why am I sending 2800? Like literally. Yeah. Whatever. Oh my God. I I just feel like every time I go to Coachella, it's like I by day two, it's the same thing. I'm fucking exhausted. I have blisters on my feet. I'm like, I can't be here anymore. I'm getting like fucking overloaded with just everything. Um, by then it's like I had already done Molly and like I'm on the come down, and it's like, this is just uh get me out.

SPEAKER_01 47:19

Yeah, that sounds like literally my personal hell.

SPEAKER_00 47:23

And it's just kind of like I do have a phone and I do have Apple music, and it's like I could just like listen to them on iPhone.

SPEAKER_01 47:31

And I didn't realize that. Like my friend, she goes to a lot of music festivals. She's like, Outside lands, it's like 60 degrees and like kind of shady. And I was like, I would go there.

SPEAKER_00 47:40

Oh my god, well, they just dropped the Lollapalooza lineup. Yeah, it looks great. Shit's on Coachella.

SPEAKER_01 47:45

Like, let's go. Let's go to Lollapalooza, like, let's go fuck it, gov ball. I'm there.

SPEAKER_00 47:51

I'm like, what else is there? Rolling loud chart. Fuck it.

SPEAKER_02 47:54

Fuck it.

SPEAKER_00 47:56

For the same price. All of those music festivals, too. All those, I don't know, four or five. Same price as one Coachella ticket. Yeah. Whatever. It's like you do it to yourself. But I did it in this case. You didn't. You didn't.

SPEAKER_01 48:08

We did it. And this is also what caused you another crash out.

SPEAKER_00 48:11

Yeah, no, this one was bad. I really started crying.

SPEAKER_01 48:13

No, like I would have, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 48:15

I started crying because I was like, uh, now I need to come up with I'm like checking between the couch cushions.

SPEAKER_01 48:19

Like literally. Y'all don't forget about the IRS.

SPEAKER_00 48:21

For three days, I forgot about it. No, no, no, no. Nah, nah, nah. You don't want to talk about the IRS. Oh my god. Also, like, my big thing with Coachella, here's my thing, because like sources say that there was one year, sources say that I Instagram. Yeah, right. Someone on a podcast said that I got like blackout drunk and was like rolling at Lana Cella Sue me. And I was having the time of my life, me and Ty were taking each other, spinning each other around. It's beautiful. And guess what? Lana's my favorite artist of all fucking time. Beautiful. We were, I'm not kidding. I felt like I was swinging in the backyard. Yes. Um, and I was have I was on Cloud Fucking Nine. And then again, sources say that apparently I was acting a fool and disturbing people's peace, and that I spoke a drink on Patrick Ta. I don't know if that's all true or just hearsay, but I had this whole, this whole thought, and I was like, they need to separate the crowd into the ragers versus the not ragers. Because there are two types of concert goers. There's the people who want to be scream singing every lyric, jumping up and down, dancing. That's where I that's where I fall. And then there's the concert goers who want a nice calm experience. They want to just sit and listen to the artist. They don't, they're not jumping around, they're not going crazy. Separate the crowds. Agree. Separate the crowd. Where's the gavels? Oh no. Guys, that we're literally shit from a butt.

SPEAKER_01 49:46

Full of shit. Yeah. It's okay.

SPEAKER_00 49:49

It's whatever.

SPEAKER_01 49:50

They're here. Next week, just watch. Like, we're gonna be like full beat. Like, don't worry.

SPEAKER_00 49:54

I know the sad thing is I am.

SPEAKER_01 49:55

No, you look beautiful too. I saw you on Facebook and I was like, fuck.

SPEAKER_00 49:59

It's okay. I like derma plane three days ago, so now I'm getting like breakouts. And it's like, oh my god, when can I win?

SPEAKER_01 50:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 50:06

Because like my PCL went, whatever. Whatever, whatever. Whatever. Coachella this. Like Coachella Coach Mella.

SPEAKER_01 50:15

Get the fuck out of here. Like, Justin Bieber, he's gonna be on stage.

SPEAKER_00 50:17

He's gonna be like, I'm even scared to say, like, I like need money to go to Coachella. Like, oh my god.

SPEAKER_01 50:23

I'm scared to say, like, I don't have leg cancer.

SPEAKER_00 50:26

I know. Do you remember this has a point? Like, two Coachellas ago, three coachellas ago, Kanye was supposed to perform, then he pulled out last minute. Did you see his fucking text to Megan Fox? No! Did you not see that? Show me to me. Show me to me, please! He posted on Instagram for like five minutes and then took it down. First of all, he has her contact saved under Transformers. He sends her like 2250, 1750, 2000 in Apple Cash. He goes, it's Yay. Let me take you out. I forgot who Kim even was after those picks. Because you saw her new photo shoot, right? Wait, where she's BBL down.

SPEAKER_01 51:13

This is recent.

SPEAKER_00 51:14

Yeah, this is recent. Like this just happened. We'll insert the picture. Yeah. Oscar will. Thank you, Oscar. Megan Fox's new photo shoot. She has like Instagram face down. She looks fucking amazing. She's literally gorgeous. She's still like the hottest woman on the planet.

SPEAKER_01 51:28

She is everywhere. Popped out with a BBL question mark. Oh wow. She like redid her Instagram. It's just those four posts.

SPEAKER_00 51:34

Wait, really? Go like this real quick. Let me see. Flash me. Right. Okay, so he said, I forgot who Kim even was after those new picks. Okay. Crazy.

SPEAKER_01 51:44

Sending money beforehand is also funny.

SPEAKER_00 51:47

Hilarious, but also like would love. Way to get my attention. You got me. Whatever you have to say, you have to do 10 minutes. Yeah. She said, Kanye, those are pictures. Dot dot dot. He then goes. And question mark. A picture is worth a thousand words. And a girl like you worth a thousand bitches. She goes. He's quoting himself. Holy shit. Insane. He's quoting himself. Yeah, like that's that's that's good. That's good. She goes, you know I'm married, right? He goes, MGK? More like MGK. Sorry. Sorry. Transformers, my favorite movie. I need you on the album. And then he sends a picture, Photoshopped of her pictures on the Life of Pablo album. And then she clearly blocks him because the text creates. And he says, I've forgotten better songs than your current husband could ever have imagined. And what really tops it off is that as he's sending, like the in the screenshot, he's listening to a machine gun Kelly.

SPEAKER_01 52:53

He's like making sure.

unknown 52:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 52:54

He's like, let me just double check. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_00 52:57

How fucking insane.

unknown 52:59

Wow.

SPEAKER_00 52:59

And he put it up there for like two minutes and then took it down.

SPEAKER_01 53:01

Because it's like, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 53:02

Of course, but oh my god. I don't know. I don't know. Take the whole fucking phone away. Justice for Kim.

SPEAKER_01 53:10

Hudson Williams girlfriend.

SPEAKER_00 53:12

Hudson Williams girlfriend.

SPEAKER_01 53:14

She's so beautiful.

SPEAKER_00 53:15

She is so gorgeous. Oh my god. She was very gorgeous to me. She's very gorgeous. Also, I feel like for the longest time, I think there was like so much speculation. Like, does Hudson Williams have a girlfriend? Does he have a girlfriend? And like there were rumors, and obviously, like the TikTok detectives were really on the case tracking his fucking mom's Facebook and his granny's Facebook and this, that, and the other. Literally, people were putting the pieces together. So there was speculation that he had a girlfriend, but it was never confirmed. And like if you Googled it, does Hudson Williams have a girlfriend? It would literally pop up like, no, it's not confirmed that he does. So then he finally popped out with her because you know she was tugging on his day. It's the longest time. Yeah. He wasn't, he wasn't confirming nor denying it. And he was spotted out a lot of times with other bitches. Me just starting the podcast. I know, literally.

SPEAKER_01 54:06

And I'm like.

SPEAKER_00 54:08

But you know, she was going, When are you gonna take me out? When are you gonna show me off? When are you gonna post me? Post me on your story. That would be me. Yeah. That would be me. Poking him in the arm. Babe, babe, post me on your story. Let the people know. And he finally did it, and she's a fucking baddie. She's a baddie. She is so fucking fine. Oh my god, she's gorgeous. She is so fucking fine. The video of them walking down the hotel hallway. Fierce. Oh, yeah. Crazy. Her walk? Crazy. I'm no better than a man, too. I was just looking at her. No better than a man.

SPEAKER_01 54:40

I was like, I don't even see him next to her.

SPEAKER_00 54:42

Literally, literally. I was barking at my screen. She's beautiful. Yeah, she is a fucking bad guy.

SPEAKER_01 54:47

Let me be respectful. She's beautiful.

SPEAKER_00 54:49

And you know what, too? Every year this happens, there's a new it boy who comes out of the fucking out the nowhere. Yeah. Because we saw this with Nicholas Chavez. Yep. Right? The North Rembers. Yep.

SPEAKER_01 55:00

And we saw this with that guy from whatchamacallit? Evil? No. Monster? No. That's him. No, the brother one.

SPEAKER_00 55:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 55:10

No, I thought he was in Edgeen.

SPEAKER_02 55:14

What?

SPEAKER_01 55:17

We're talking about the same person. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 55:23

World's best podcast. Edgeen! Julia Fox Edge. What? Pull it together. We saw it happen last year. He, you know the TikTok edit that has perfect baby. Yeah, absolutely. I love the way he vanel enjoyed the baby. And everyone was foaming at the mouth over him.

SPEAKER_01 55:40

And also, very similar parallels with the gay of it all. Because they were like, he's gay. Whoa. Yes. And the same with Hudson Williams. Yes. Yes.

SPEAKER_00 55:48

Very interesting. And for the longest time, everyone was speculating. Does he have a girlfriend? Does he have a girlfriend? He would never come forward about it. But he did finally. Same thing. That's the trend. Every year there's a new Ip boy, and I pray for their girlfriends. I really fucking do. I really fucking do. Because I couldn't. I couldn't handle that. I couldn't. I couldn't. I really couldn't. I am not like well adjusted enough. I am not secure enough. I would be tugging at his fucking sleeve. Post me, post me, post me, post me.

SPEAKER_01 56:18

Like, I think I've made it very clear this episode alone that I'm not like fully. I'm not strong strong enough.

SPEAKER_00 56:25

Yeah, me either. And I I have my insecurities and I have my um bad traits and I have my jealousy issues. I do. It's true. It's true. And this is me being so vulnerable. Yeah, no, God bless them. Yeah, seriously. It takes it takes a real fucking warrior. So fucking stupid, but like I just have to say it before we wrap it up. Nicole Kidman and her Tweety Bird.

SPEAKER_01 56:47

Tweety Bird! Tweety Bird! Tweety Bird! I love her! Yes. What the fuck? I need the cocktail she's on.

SPEAKER_00 56:58

Now, now get me her doctor. Get me her doctor. I know she found him on Craigslist.

SPEAKER_01 57:03

Literally. Oh. Also, her and then bringing up Secret Lives of Mormon Wives again. There's this girl Jen Affleck. Not related to Ben Affleck, but they think that she is. Whatever, it's a whole thing. Okay. She had like postpartum depression that was really, really bad, and she was like, I'm gonna kill myself like tomorrow. And then she like she's on a like prescription of pills that I don't know, but it's literally like Tweety Bird.

SPEAKER_02 57:23

Really?

SPEAKER_01 57:23

And the new season, she's like, I don't care. And I'm like, God, what are you on? Please tell it. Give it to me. Show me shit. Like, please. I'm begging.

SPEAKER_00 57:34

I know. Yeah. I have I've Tweety Bird. Tweety Bird. Owen Yang's reaction, too. He's going like this. Oh my gosh. She like did it again at the Oscar. She's on the carpet. She's going, I love Tweety Bird. What the fuck? What the fuck? Did you see Reese? That's like Tina was Peppa. Yeah, yeah. Peppa! Peppa P. Peppa. That's what he's that was Tina.

SPEAKER_01 58:01

Peppa! But have you seen Reese Witherspin's impression of Reese of Nicole Kidman? No. She does that. She goes, yes.

unknown 58:11

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 58:12

And her mouth kind of curls like the grinch. It's like, yes. It's so funny. Do you know your Myers Briggs personality type?

SPEAKER_01 58:23

Yes, I'm an ENFP.

SPEAKER_00 58:24

Same J. Oh, I didn't know there was like an add-on.

SPEAKER_01 58:28

Yeah, there's like a judgmental one or like a non-judgmental one.

SPEAKER_00 58:30

Oh fuck. I'm probably J. You're an ENFP? Yeah. Oh my god. You're ENFP? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, that's beautiful. Oh my goodness. We're campaigners. Yeah, literally. Yeah, I think it shows.

SPEAKER_01 58:44

I think so too.

SPEAKER_00 58:44

But I think sometimes, like, depending on like where I am in my cycle, maybe I'm like an INFP.

SPEAKER_01 58:48

Yeah. Depending on my cycle, I'm a bitch.

SPEAKER_00 58:52

Yeah, like, and I go hermit mode for like a week and like I just don't talk to anyone. My hair gets like matted in the back because I'm just in bed going like this.

SPEAKER_01 58:59

To go at it with a brush.

SPEAKER_00 59:00

Yeah. Or sometimes like if I'm like too lazy to like reach back and itch my head, I'll like whatever. I'll put my head on my wall and just go like this and scratch the back of my head using my drywall. It's okay. See what happens like when I run out of things to talk to. And I'm like, I start spilling my own personal secrets. Same. Like right now, I literally have a boric acid shoved inside me. I'm filled to the gills with an Alani knee. Yeah, like Amish off camera's goes like, what the fuck? Um boric acid got me going crazy.

SPEAKER_01 59:31

Kaya Gerber to tan.

SPEAKER_00 59:32

Who wants to drop acid? Oh.

SPEAKER_01 59:34

Oh damn tan. Kaya Gerber. Odessa got untan, gave her tan. Who do you think gave you the tan?

SPEAKER_00 59:42

Waking up in the ER. Oh my god, I'm gonna do it. Who do you think gave you the tan? Odessa showing up on the carpet and damn near a kimono. Literally. Kim K, who do you think gave you the kimono?

SPEAKER_01 59:54

Megan Fox, who do you think gave you the butt?

SPEAKER_00 1:00:00

Oh my god! Yay! Yeah, wait, Kaya Gerber.

unknown 1:00:04

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:05

Too damn tan.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:06

You are two shades away from getting canceled, my friend. Two shades. And that's uh down the rapid tan. I know.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:13

Like you're giving her a lot of slack.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:15

Yeah, right. Two shades. Yeah, the the shade. It's like put down the Isle of Paradise extra dark. Pick up the medium.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:24

Medium. No harm in a medium. All right. Jurgens.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:27

Dude, I'll use a medium. And I still, you guys saw the episode. When I when I self-tan using Isle of Paradise medium self-tan. That was not medium. That was not medium. I'll tell you that much.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:37

New Spider-Man movie. Who cares? Or the news. I don't care. Wait, who Tom Holland? Yeah, Tom Holland. And it's the whole like, um, I had to make everyone forget about me for their own good. You know?

SPEAKER_00 1:00:52

Oh my god. Can I say, like, I've just never I watched all the Marvel movies during COVID. Like my old roommate was like, you have to see them. They're so good. Whatever, whatever. Yawn. Yawn. Oh.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:05

I've seen like everything, and well, I haven't seen like the past like four years of stuff. So I haven't seen everything. Yeah. But when it was like big, like I want to say like 2016 to 2019, like when it was having its moment, like its endgame moment. I was watching.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:18

Endgame was great. But like the standalone ones, like Captain America. Oh my god. Not for me. I also just like don't love an action movie. I love some wizards and warlocks bullshit.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:30

I love a spy movie.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:32

Yeah, like Mr. and Mrs. Smith. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:35

Or like um The Heat.

unknown 1:01:37

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:38

Melissa McCarthy and Sandra Bullock. Oh, okay. I like that type of spy movie.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:43

A bad spy movie. Yeah. No, but and Sadie Sink's gonna be in this new Spider-Man. Because she posted it on her Instagram.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:50

What, as MJ?

SPEAKER_01 1:01:51

No, I haven't. No, because the day is still gonna be MJ. Okay. Don't fret.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:54

I was fretting.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:56

But I don't know who she's gonna be, but she's gonna be someone. Great. I think you see that she's employed post-stranger things.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:01

Yeah, good for her. She's like one of the only ones.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:03

Literally one of the only ones. Millie Bobby Brown's like off in Dubai doing like hello Dubai. She's like doing weird Dubai like.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:12

Is she? Yes. I don't keep up. Florence by Mills. Florence by Mills. Gatten? What's he up to? Gatin. Isn't it? I think it's Gate. I can't do anything.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:23

He's actually gonna be in a new movie. The only one who's not booked and busy is Mr. Noah Schnepp.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:29

Oh, I thought you were gonna say Finn.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:30

No, no, no. He's actually performing at Lollapalooza or something, I think. Huh?

SPEAKER_00 1:02:34

He's obviously down in the small tiny.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:37

He's the shout out.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:40

Noah. Yeah. He's getting Noah bookings. Noah bookings. Noah. Nothing. Yeah. Well, new Spider-Man can't wait. Yeah. Can't wait. We'll tell you, right? It will be a live reaction. Um, I guess the only thing I have left is like Olivia Rodriguez's new album coming out. Painting the damn wall. Olivia Rodriguez. Rodrigo. Yo, gave me whatever happened. Whatever was happening to you, you just passed to me. Olivia Rodriguez. I'm like, Julia Fox. I th- I We're two halves of a whole idiot, bro. Like. Oh.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:19

Whatever. I think it's gonna be pink. That's how the street's a pink. Yeah. I hope. Pink or red?

SPEAKER_00 1:03:24

Everyone's guessing like the four, the four letters.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:26

Yeah. It's like a new wordle. Yeah. Donna Kelsey's renovating her vacation home in Florida.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:36

That she is.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:36

I wrote a sketch about it for my sketch class, and no one knew what I was talking about.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:40

Well, they're just like not screen timed up enough.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:42

Exactly.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:43

You guys probably know Donna Kelsey. Yeah, obviously, if you're watching this, you know. For sure. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Brooke got fucking married. She got married. Congratulations. I know. Congrats, Brooke. You were the most beautiful fucking city. I can't believe she had a mohawk. I know. Right. In Maracas. I know. I can't believe it. She, it's just so funny, too, because it's just like, holy shit. Like, it's her wedding day, and people are commenting, like, I don't like your hairstyle. I know. It's not your wedding day.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:09

It's not your wedding day. Really, those earrings? Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:13

Sharp. A two-piece set. If she wanted to wear a fucking early. It wasn't the reception. Literally, I'm like, also, it's like if she wanted to wear a goddamn Leotard, she could have. She's allowed. She's allowed. It's so crazy. She could have worn a pickle costume. Like she could have done whatever the fuck she wanted to like.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:28

She's like, Mohawk with maracas.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:29

It's insane. She literally is like perfect. She looked absolutely fucking horrible.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:34

She looks beautiful too. That's also the crazy thing is she looked great.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:37

That's what I'm saying. I'm like, oh my god, to be able to even like pick apart anything from that. Yeah. Like everyone reaching. Fine. Reaching.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:44

There's something to say, just something to comment.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:47

Yeah. Sure, man. But congratulations to Brooke.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:50

Shout out.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:50

Shout out, Brooke. Congrats on your fucking marriage. Congrats on your marriage. Yay. You got a ring. Yay! Someone on love and such a message. And then last rapid fire.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:03

Last rapid fire. Oh, Heidi Klum was dressed crazy at the Oscars.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:08

Was she?

SPEAKER_01 1:05:08

She dressed so bad. Wait, look up Heidi Klum Oscars.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:12

She looks a mess. Are you serious to me?

SPEAKER_01 1:05:19

Come on.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:20

We look like this.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:22

And I Well, let me judge from my judging.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:25

I can't have another yellow dress, Kate. And it's literally yellow dress. This one's for you. Okay, okay. Yeah, this is your yellow dress.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:31

I'm the one who thinks it's boring. It's not even boring. It's just bad.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:34

Yeah, I was gonna say, this one's not even boring. It's just bad.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:36

Bad horrible. I loved Kristen Wiggs' look at the Oscars. I loved Rose Byrne.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:44

Oh yes.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:45

Her look.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:46

Yeah, she looked fabulous.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:48

Um I like McKenna Grace.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:50

Demi Moore. Her dress was.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:54

I know I would have been sneezing and tickled all over. It would have been really uncomfortable for me.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:57

Oh, yeah, itching like this in the back of the wheel. Yeah, I like it.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:59

Because it's like kind of.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:00

Yeah. Yeah. All night. Too much. Uh-huh. Oh my god, that was my favorite dress, probably. Even though, oh my god, we need to talk about the bones at the Oscars. Holy shit. I was seeing bitches. The bones. The bones.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:12

Girls have bones in places I didn't even know we had bones. Agree. There's something going on. Like, it's insane. I saw someone fat shaming the fanning sisters.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:23

Mind you, they're gaunt. They're gaunt. What do you mean? Fanning sisters?

SPEAKER_01 1:06:28

What do you mean?

SPEAKER_00 1:06:29

We are like, oh my god. We're in Osempic Olympics.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:33

Literally, like, guys, we really have to figure this the fuck out.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:35

Uh I'm holding it down. Don't worry.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:36

Barbie Ferreira, come back to me, mama.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:38

Yeah, right. Oh, they got they got Barbie. Yeah. They got Kelly Osborne. Good. Oh my god. It's actually scary. It's really bad. Demi Moore, especially. I was watching the Oscars and I was looking at her back when she was moving. First of all, you can see her vertebrae. I could like tell you that's like C19. Um, and then she's moving it and you could see her muscles. Mind you, she's not muscular. She's not muscular, but you can see her muscles.

SPEAKER_01 1:07:05

Under the skin. Yeah. I saw this like a TikTok, and it was honestly really great and like put a lot of things in perspective. It's like when you see an animal and you see its bones through its skin, like you're like, this animal is like not eating enough and being abused. Like, why is that the beauty standard for us?

SPEAKER_00 1:07:19

It's really terrifying. It's really fucking terrifying.

SPEAKER_01 1:07:22

It's crazy.

SPEAKER_00 1:07:23

I know, and it's just everyone.

SPEAKER_01 1:07:25

It's everyone. And like the Kaya Gerber toutan, and like she looks like so thin. And like obviously, I'm sure like there's a struggle there, you know what I mean? But it's just like eating disorders are competitive and everyone's competing right now. It's like the Olympics.

SPEAKER_00 1:07:38

It's the Olympics. We have the E D Olympics.

SPEAKER_01 1:07:40

The E D Olympics.

SPEAKER_00 1:07:41

Gracie Abrams popping out bone dry. I know. I need someone to like stop it. And I'm so serious. Thank God I didn't have access to those pictures in my formative years. Because like E D Tumblr would have been going crazy. Same. Same crazy. Probably on a Tumblr, I would have been on there like Finn Spo.

SPEAKER_01 1:07:53

Thank God Ozempic wasn't a thing when I was like on like Tumblr Instagram. Like like in high school, early high school.

SPEAKER_00 1:08:01

No, I'm saying. Thank God. Oh my god. Listening to the neighborhood, like literally crunching on an apple for dinner. That was it.

SPEAKER_01 1:08:07

Like, thank God. Thank God. Uh-huh. No, I know that would have been fair. It would have been so bad. I can't like think of like the girls now that are probably like. And also, bringing it back to Mormon Wives. Right. Layla from Secret Lives of Mormon Wives, she's like 100 pounds. She's on GLP ones.

SPEAKER_00 1:08:23

That's insane. Also, I am no stranger to a GLP one. I've taken it. You can literally just go on Google and type in GLP1 and they'll ship it to your doorstep. They don't care.

SPEAKER_01 1:08:32

Also, they have no You can lie. You can say I'm 200 pounds. Yes. There's no like vetting process. Fuck no.

SPEAKER_00 1:08:39

You could literally write on a sticky note, like, give me Zemp, and they're like, here you go. It's crazy. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Well, this happened. Like, I was getting Ozempic or Trazepatide through Good Life Meds. I'm coming for you guys. I'm coming for you. Um, goodlife meds.com. Something happened, like, where I went to like renew my subscription. I had two going at the same time. So they were shipping twice a month to my house. I said that has to be malpractice.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:05

Yeah, seriously. You cannot be shipping a drug two times.

SPEAKER_00 1:09:09

Especially like Zemp?

SPEAKER_01 1:09:10

OZMPic? Like that's crazy. I have to be on Zetbound for my PCOS because I have insulin resistance. And it like I have tried a bunch of other drugs for it. And I like can't tolerate those drugs like metformin and birth control actually like is worse for your insulin. It's like a whole thing. Anyway, so I felt really bad for a while and then I lost a bunch of weight. And like I want to go off of the med that I'm on. But it's like you kind of can't you kind of like it's kind of uncharted territory going off of it.

SPEAKER_00 1:09:38

Because your body is like acclimated to having it.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:39

Yeah, and also because everyone's it's been around for what five, six years. Yeah. You know, so it's kind of like yeah, what now you're like what now? And it's kind of like I think it I think it's kind of affecting my like stomach in a way that I don't like, and I feel so much better now, and I really want to be off it. And like, but I'm nervous that PCOS insulin resistance is like chronic, and so like I'll have to be on it all the time. I don't like it.

SPEAKER_00 1:10:02

Yeah. Yeah. It's really fierce. It gave me um brain fog, super fucking bad. Interesting. And I went to the hospital one time um because I was severely constipated. Whatever. Um, and then let's see, what else? Oh, and now I have the inverse problem where it's like I literally piss out of my ass, whatever. I piss out of my ass. Sometimes I'm literally like, oh my god, I literally need to find a bathroom in 30 seconds because I think that should give me IBS. I and all-Girls, it's not worth it. Like it's not worth it. It's really not.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:33

I have to take it, otherwise, like I won't get my period and like shit will go crazy and like my face will puff off and like it gets crazy. And it's really like upsetting because the drug itself is so like there's so much shame around it. Yeah. Because we're like, you're on a zip, you're onosempic, you're on a zempic.

SPEAKER_00 1:10:46

Well, now I think it's just so normalized.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:48

Now it's so normalized.

SPEAKER_00 1:10:49

Well, now it's like everyone's fucking on it. You can get it for over the counter at CVS.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:52

Like, literally, over the counter in Mexico. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:10:54

Did I done to Tijuana? It's insane. It's crazy. It's insane. Like everyone's fucking on it, especially in LA. Yeah. Where I feel like I used to be like, oh my god, like I'm not on it. But it's like, yeah. I go, I go through my waves of taking it, and then it's like, oh, like when I take it, I feel like shit and it's awful. Then it's like I stop and then I'll start taking it again. And it's just like the societal pressure to be skinny, especially now during these fucking trying times.

SPEAKER_01 1:11:14

Literally, during these trying times, when I'm like grammaries, everyone's wearing a fucking triple zero.

SPEAKER_00 1:11:18

Yeah, and then it's like, God forbid you're a fucking size four. You're huge, you're huge.

SPEAKER_01 1:11:22

Yeah, you're huge. Like, that's crazy. Oh release. Yeah. I was really open and vulnerable when I told you guys that I had to go through a chance.

SPEAKER_00 1:11:30

I'm just keeping it real with you guys.

SPEAKER_01 1:11:31

Like it was actually crazy.

SPEAKER_00 1:11:34

Yeah. Yeah. Fucking nuts.

SPEAKER_01 1:11:35

It was crazy pants. I'll talk about it more later. Right. PCOS girls. I know. That's also probably why it might help with your PCOS a little bit, even if you're taking it for weight loss.

SPEAKER_00 1:11:43

I think, well, I have self-diagnosed PCOS, but I really do think I have it because. I think you have it. Thank you. Thank you. I really do think I do because like when I stopped taking my birth control, I had an explanon, like in my arm. And that was helping because like it had like estrogen.

SPEAKER_01 1:11:58

It has it gives you estrogen. Yes. And when you have PCOS, you have higher levels of testosterone because you have higher levels of insulin.

SPEAKER_00 1:12:05

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:06

And then that's why the estrogen helps. But then everything's out of whack because you're just giving yourself more estrogen. It's like, no, we need to lower the testosterone.

SPEAKER_00 1:12:12

Exactly. So when my next plan on expired, all of a sudden, hair loss. Yep. My acne came raging back. My acne was like. I started getting like a little mustache. I gave you chin hair. Yes.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:21

Chin hair. Yes.

SPEAKER_00 1:12:22

Horrible periods.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:23

Horrible periods. I I didn't get my period for like 150 days.

SPEAKER_00 1:12:26

Weight retention.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:27

I have weight retention.

SPEAKER_00 1:12:28

Just like every symptom of PCOS. Like, I really think I do have it. Like I'm not saying it like in a flippant way, being like, oh my god, I have PCO. I really do believe you.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:36

Yeah. No, my battle with PCOS, like Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:12:39

And it's just fucking like, holy shit. Like the plight of being a woman.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:42

The plight of being a woman, because let me tell you this. Let me tell you this. Please. PCOS is the number one um like hormone issue, hormonal d like disease syndrome within women. And the fact that there are two current, or sorry, excuse me, three current drugs that you can take for it. Let me tell you. Metformin. Okay. Metformin gave you the worst heartburn of my life. It's a diabetes medication. It's actually very affordable and like can help with heart disease and like is great if you can tolerate it. But if you can't, it's horrible. Number two, birth control. Okay. So birth control actually raises your insulin levels and it just gives you a faux period. Like you're not actually getting it's so why are we giving that out?

SPEAKER_00 1:13:21

Oh, and it just it drove me fucking insane.

SPEAKER_01 1:13:24

Oh my god, it was literally horrible.

SPEAKER_00 1:13:26

It is hell. It was horrible. How they're like, hell is a teenage girl. No, it is hell is birth control.

SPEAKER_01 1:13:31

And like I I believe birth control should be accessible to anyone who wants it. Personally, not my vibe, but it made me feel crazy. Yep. But one, the other drug you can take is an osempic type of drug, which are so expensive, also shrouded in like this shame. Yeah. And also, they're not even FDA approved. They're FDA approved for diabetes and weight loss. But they don't consider PCOS diabetes. They consider it like semi-pre-diabetes. Okay. So my insurance won't cover it. So I have to use this weird savings card I found online. The thing is, and let me tell you this: if a man had this problem, if a man has insulin resistance, resolved in two resistance. He's treated for insulin resistance. He's not treated for anything fertility-wise. Yeah, no. But it's because you're a woman.

SPEAKER_00 1:14:09

Resolved in two fucking days.

SPEAKER_01 1:14:10

Because you're a woman. Yep. Yep.

SPEAKER_00 1:14:12

I saw a tweet and it was like men who are looks maxing now are doing just exactly what we do every day dealing with DCOS.

SPEAKER_01 1:14:19

Literally, literally. It's like hormones, you have to bring your cortisol down, like meditate.

SPEAKER_00 1:14:22

Literally. They're like, oh my God, read 10 pages of a book. Whoa. Literally. Whoa. Also, it's like, oh my God, we could really position reading books like to the looks maxers. Like if you read 10 pages a day, your hair will grow longer. Your skin will clear.

SPEAKER_01 1:14:40

But it has to be a nonfiction. Has to be nonfiction.

unknown 1:14:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:14:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:14:43

We're books maxing.

SPEAKER_01 1:14:44

Yeah, we're yeah. Looks maxing gets a good thing. It'll help your jawline. Like, pick up a book. Exactly. Mew while you read. Anyway, shout out all my PCOS sisters.

SPEAKER_00 1:14:53

Shout out my PCOS girls. Last thing I'll like leave my little flops with. This Friday, I'm, I think I'm bringing you on a date.

SPEAKER_01 1:15:06

Yay! Oh, this- Oh, I know, I know, I know. Oh my God. Yes.

SPEAKER_00 1:15:09

Okay, real fucking quick. Bear minded. Real fucking quick. When I was home over Christmas, I met the well, I saw this guy at my hometown bar, and I saw him from across the way. He was wearing this like fuck ass quarter zip fleece. It looked like a 90s like roller skate rink pattern that you'd see like on the carpet. And I saw him and I was like, there's something like really like cute about him. There's something very endearing about him. He had kind of like a shaved head, like a little mustache, and this like fuck ass jacket. And I was like, I'm kind of into his look. We were kind of like eyeing each other, but like nothing ever happened. Right. The next day I go to a different hometown local bar, the local watering hole. The watering hole. I walk in, I see him wearing the same fuck ass jacket. I was like, whoa.

SPEAKER_01 1:15:49

Oh, an outfit repeater.

SPEAKER_00 1:15:50

For sure, but it made me feel comfortable.

SPEAKER_01 1:15:52

He's consistent.

SPEAKER_00 1:15:53

Yeah, I was like, wait, I kind of like that. You're like a little cartoon character. So I saw him again and I was like, whoa, what are the fucking odds? Like, I just saw you last night at Turtle Tavern. Now I'm seeing you again at the Daily Pine. What are the hometown bar names like? Western Massachusetts bar names like. It's like Daily Pine.

unknown 1:16:16

Turtle Town, stupid.

SPEAKER_00 1:16:18

I actually mixed Misties. Yeah, it's like a stripper name like crystals, like, okay.

unknown 1:16:25

Misty's.

SPEAKER_00 1:16:28

Oh my god. So I walk into the bar, I see him like wearing a stainable quarter zip, and I'm like, this has to mean something. Because me, I'll make a meaning out of anything. I'm so like moon child cancel. This has to mean something. I sit across the bar from him, and I I go, Did I see you last night? Because again, I'm like several sheets to the wind, so I'm striking a conversation. You should. He's like, Oh yeah, were you at Turtle Tavern? That's not even what it's called.

SPEAKER_01 1:16:51

He's like, Oh Turtle Tavern. You at Turtle Tavern? I was at Mickey's.

SPEAKER_00 1:17:00

And he was like, Yeah, I was there. I saw you. So we started like hitting like a little banter. I asked him about like his credit score, obviously the normal like for his date questions. And we're hitting like a little key back and forth over the bar, and like it's really cute. And then at the end, I'm going to leave. And I was like, hey, we're going to hot pot tomorrow. You should come with us. And he was like, Oh, I want to, but who will I text? I need someone's number. So he, you know, I get it. Oh nice. So he gives me his number, whatever. We're texting, we're texting. I end up staying home for New Year's. Long story short, I crack him on New Year's. Whatever. Like he we hit. Yeah, we hit New Year's, New Year's a little New Year's Eve crack. Um turns out, though, as it comes to be, we're we're we're talking and he lives in Los Angeles. It turns out he's from my hometown. We never knew. He grew up, like when I was a freshman coming into high school, he was a senior. Whoa. Our paths never crossed, but I was friends with his younger brother. Whoa. How fucking weird. So this is our first time ever meeting. We went to the same fucking high school. Like we were four years apart, like just never our president. And then we found out he lives in LA. Wow. How fucking crazy. How literally fucking crazy. Wow. So he was like, when we're both back in LA, like we have to do something together. And then things just, you know, things come up. We're adults. Life happens. We haven't been able to hang. But he texted me last week being like, hey, my birthday's next Friday. Which also is kind of like a very intimate thing to like invite someone like a party. Right. But he was like, My birthday's next Friday. If you want to come to like X, Y, and Z bar, please come bring a friend or two, like bring your friends. So your friends.

SPEAKER_01 1:18:44

This is when I come in.

SPEAKER_00 1:18:45

And I texted Molly and said, What are you doing next Friday? Come on this day with me. I have plans. Yeah. So obviously I'll keep you guys posted on how that goes. Same. Whatever.

SPEAKER_01 1:18:55

Me too.

SPEAKER_00 1:18:56

He's so the type too to like have like a mustache tattoo on his finger and go like derp. Yeah, yeah. And he's very much like meep energy. The derpy turtle. Uh, okay. Any last words? Flap your wings. As always. Flap your wings. Stay true. Drop boric acid.

SPEAKER_01 1:19:15

Ily illy illy. I do not have cancer. I don't. She doesn't. I do not. I don't.