Eps10(ish) Apologies and….then the camera died

Welcome to the Drunk & Disorderly podcast….Sorry we meant the F’n Sober podcast 

Each week we discuss issues around recovery/sobriety as well as whatever other random rubbish comes into our heads

In this weeks episode we discuss various things that you cannot hear because the camera died and Nick didn’t realise straight away….and also apologies 

#sobriety #sober #recovery #soberlife #addiction #soberliving #soberaf #alcoholfree #recoveryispossible #mentalhealth #sobercurious #addictionrecovery #sobermovement #wedorecover #onedayatatime #soberissexy #soberlifestyle #sobrietyrocks #alcoholicsanonymous #cleanandsober #sobercommunity #alcoholism #odaat #mentalhealthawareness #aa #steps #sobermom #selflove #addictionawareness #selfcare

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:05

So um I was just talking yeah, so them deep rooted resentments is the fuel is the fuel to the fire of our addiction, isn't it? Yeah. So we think about it, the the the excuses, the blame, all that stuff is always to them deep-rooted sort of trauma things. So so for example, I I blame my brother, I blame my mum and my dad for the for the way they treated me. And they were they they were my always when I made a mistake or when I fucked up in life, it was because of them, innit? They were the fuel to my addiction, yeah. Just feeded my addiction to move on. So so I had to go through some sort of process to find some sort of forgiveness and acceptance.

SPEAKER_04 0:52

When when when you've when you say forgiveness, so with that kind of stuff, because obviously then you kind of pull in some. Do you just do that internally?

SPEAKER_00 1:10

Putting myself so when when they were making all the mistakes when I was three, four, a lot of it to do with drinking drugs, a lot to do with adultery, you know what I mean? I could gotta remember when I was 23, 24, when all that happened and all the shit I was doing. Yeah, yeah. So it sort of sort of accepted it like you know, you know.

SPEAKER_04 1:27

Well, I do find that over time, whether it's a parent or whatever, when you hit a certain age, I've said this in the past, but when you hit a certain age of when something happened to you, or just I don't mean it doesn't have to be overly anything bad, but when you when something obviously stuck with you for a certain age and then you hit the same age roughly as the person that was doing it when they were doing it, yeah. It's a completely different viewpoint on it because you suddenly start realising oh they were human too.

SPEAKER_02 1:50

There's also different what it could be that you've been physically abused, yeah, but then it could be that you've been neglected where your parents didn't care about what you were doing, so you've got that. It's not like a physical thing where oh yeah, I hate you because you used to beat me up. I I I hate you because you didn't care.

SPEAKER_01 2:09

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 2:09

I could have had a better life. A lot of and a lot of people a lot of people will not find any sort of acceptance around it. They're the people that don't don't really stay stay clean. A lot of people don't want to look at that stuff, a lot of traumatic, you know what I mean? And they won't stay clean. But the only way they will look start looking at that stuff is if they've had enough pain.

SPEAKER_04 2:28

Well if you take see, but a lot of that kind of so when you do your stepwork, is that addressed in your stepwork?

SPEAKER_00 2:33

Yeah, of course, that's what it's all about. It's the freedom, it's it's about about the freedom.

SPEAKER_04 2:37

But you don't you don't ever I presume, I don't know this, but I presume you don't ever then you don't have you don't reach out to that person and randomly forgive him.

SPEAKER_00 2:46

No, no, we need to understand why why why we need to forgive him.

SPEAKER_04 2:49

You know, we always as long as you understand why what I'm trying to say is is you reach out to making amends, don't you? It's making amends, don't you? Yeah, but you don't ever put it on anyone, do you? You don't I I don't know this, but I presume you don't reach out to someone and say, I forgive you, and they go, What the fuck are you talking about? They can't even have done anything.

SPEAKER_00 3:03

No, you've got to go into an explanation why you're doing it.

SPEAKER_04 3:06

So but do you do that? Do you contact someone and say actually they forgive you for this? Is that part of anything or is that it's up if you decide to do it?

SPEAKER_00 3:11

No, no hundred percent. If if they've if if you don't I'm not just gonna contact someone randomly and say, I forgive you.

SPEAKER_04 3:18

It would be a case of like if you if you've already got a relationship maybe with that person and they're already willing to engage about talking about it, you might say, Well, I forgive you for this kind of a thing.

SPEAKER_00 3:28

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's more about it's more about the yeah, the relationship. If it's just a person, random person, we're not, you know, you know, it's a detrimental impact. It's what it says in the amends if it's gonna cause harm.

SPEAKER_04 3:38

That's what I meant, yeah, it would do, wouldn't it? If you were to go up, someone said, When you forgive you, and they're like, What if they didn't know?

SPEAKER_02 3:44

No, that's what I meant. Well I was just gonna go on to say when you start talking and opening up to people and they don't realise how you've how you've been affected by the way they behave, people do go, oh I'm sorry about that. Yeah, but it's not like oh I'm sorry that I uh I messed it, I fucked your life up for you, but I'm sorry I didn't know about that.

SPEAKER_00 4:06

Yeah, ignorance is bliss in some sort of cases, there are different kinds of people apologising to you.

SPEAKER_02 4:13

The diff there is a difference, I don't know what a different like scale was to be.

SPEAKER_04 4:19

Well, it's obviously like you say, it's supposed to scale as well, in regards to the fact, like like you say, if someone actually did something physical to you or this, and they know they did it. Yeah, they're not do you know what I mean? That's a completely different killer fish, isn't it? But if it's like you say, if it's someone neglecting you in this, I'm not saying that they don't necessarily know, but sometimes you being neglected is a result of something else they're doing that they haven't realised.

SPEAKER_00 4:39

I know people in recovery who've been sexually abused, you know, and and it's that that's their fuel to the addiction as a kid, and blah blah. And the and the way they've been about it, they've they've made contact through a letter, or they've they've explained to them on the letter how they feel about it, yeah, and try to find, try to forgive them. Yeah, yeah. Otherwise, they won't they can't move on in life. Yeah, if they can't forgive that thing that's so traumatic, that's that's just gonna be a weight on them, and it it's just gonna it's just gonna be the fire to use. So a lot of people have written them letters or or tried to get some sort of acceptance around it, you know. Yeah, a lot of people don't, but it depends on where you're at in your recovery. I don't know, it's a bit it's it's one of them it's so personal to you. Yeah, that you work, but you work, you work with your sponsor through it, and your sponsor will guide you through it.

SPEAKER_04 5:26

So if you need to do that, you know, and I know and again this sounds really cliche saying this stuff, but it is about forgiveness and not forgetful. So when people do say forgive and I don't forget, that is a big thing in recovery, I think, because let's say you're going to share your story, so you can't share your story or accountable as to how how you ended up drinking. If the reason you genuinely did do it is because this person did this thing to you, knowingly or knowingly. Yeah, so you don't forget, you just forgive. Yeah, but it doesn't be it doesn't stop being part of your story, does it? Because obviously, so that's one of the biggest things I've seen, I've seen. I've ever heard I forgive and I don't forget, and it just sounds cheesy. But actually, when recovery it's true because you wouldn't be able to tell you wouldn't if you just forgive, you wouldn't be able to tell the story, would you?

SPEAKER_02 6:12

Yeah, and then and you you use it, you can use that as a way of like what when I'm doing my life stuff, if I'm doing the main share, I I I go right, I was born, I've got a family, and then I was 16. I don't mention all of that stuff. Yeah, yeah. Well, it doesn't mean I'm gonna forget it. Now, somewhere down the line I might use it, like Kieran said, to be able to encourage somebody else to think about what's gone on, yeah. But I'm I'm never gonna forget it, but I know somewhere down the line it could be something that somebody wants to hear in their recovery to be able to say, Well, it's not just me that it's offered to.

SPEAKER_01 6:50

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 6:51

So it it yeah, yeah, you see, that's like I say, uh there's so many people in recovery, a maj a a large majority of people in recovery do have some kind of trauma from childhood, yeah. That unless you're in treatment, and I say this regularly, unless you're in treatment where you get access to other services, there are people that are trying to be trying to recover that don't have the access that we have. Yeah, yeah. So if you say to them, right, yeah, stuff happened to me and I'm getting help for it, you can then I always say, right, there's certain places you go, and there's flyers on the board leading you to different services. Use them. But the forget, you're never gonna forget. I agree with that, you're never gonna forget, but it's what you use that memory for.

SPEAKER_04 7:48

Yeah, it's essentially fuel for your fire, isn't it? And it can either be a fire that ends up making you take drugs or doing this, that, and the other, or it can be something that helps you better yourself or whatever.

SPEAKER_02 7:57

And other people as well, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 7:59

So it's not okay, so you'd rather you have to be accountable to some extent for what happened. I know it sounds really brutal, but even I don't mean you have to I don't mean you have to be accountable for for for it happening to you if you were two.

SPEAKER_00 8:10

I don't mean that you've done after it.

SPEAKER_04 8:12

Yeah, yeah. So you so this is a kind similar kind of thing, but like so obviously, like so let's say I do work with a kid and uh like 16, 17, and he's a little shit, right? And you think he's a little fucking shit. Yeah, that's it, there isn't a story, he's thinking he's a little shit, and then someone says, I know, yeah, but his mum's like this, that, and the other. So then you pass the blame onto the mum. Yeah, yeah. But how do you know that her mum wasn't? It's not her fault, then is it? Because if her mum was this or her dad was this, then and then they go so at some point someone needs to go, like, that happened or whatever, but it's but the destruction it caused ends with me.

SPEAKER_00 8:49

Yeah, of course, and that and that's what it's about. Recovery is about looking at looking at that stuff and then like taking personal responsibility for everything you've done, no matter what's happened to you. Yeah, and we and we and we apologise for all that stuff. Because it's easy going, right, I'm not fucking apologize, I'm not doing my mum's fault and dad's fault. I've fucking ended up like this, you know. But it's yeah, but alright, you have, but that doesn't that doesn't mean that all the c all the cause you've all the harm you've caused, that's because it's because of you, yeah. No matter what, and it no matter if you've had a fucking if you've been sexually abused or if you've been hit or you've been this and you've done that, you know. Okay, that's horrible what's happened. Yeah, but that doesn't you know the case.

SPEAKER_04 9:29

You would call it a mitigating circumstance, isn't it? Well, you can ruin that coughing over me.

SPEAKER_03 9:34

Sorry. But you don't even know what I said. They these people don't know what I said now, Dave.

SPEAKER_02 9:38

Like, why would you want to chase an apology off somebody if you know they're not going to apologize? No, they don't think they've done anything wrong, no matter how you feel about it, even if you know it's the truth, they might not be there to say, I'm oh I am sorry, I accept.

SPEAKER_00 9:56

I think it boils down to it's not about it's not about them apologizing, it's about you, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 10:01

It's about it's about acceptance, isn't it? I reckon, and what I mean by that is you either accept an apology if it comes, that's brilliant. And if not, you just accept that it happened and and get on with your to an extent. You've not even if you need therapy or you need this and the other, you'll do the best of the best.

SPEAKER_00 10:16

As long as you've done the best you can to say we went to apologise to someone and it fucking kicked off. But you've gone and you've gone with good intentions. I am going to apologize for my shit, even though they've probably done a lot worse to me, but it's not about what they've done to me. I'm only doing this for my spirit.

SPEAKER_02 10:31

Oh, yeah, there's a lot of times I think you know that the effect that they've had has had a such a bad effect on you because they didn't think about it, and even now you might be reminding them about something that they've forgotten years ago, going, Oh yeah, well what like why would be why would they want to apologize when there's your scene beg when you're getting better?

SPEAKER_01 10:56

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 10:58

It becomes less of a draw, especially at my age now. So with Kieran, it's a bit different because he's younger and he's got a lot more life left to live. Why should I waste my life now, what I've got left, going round wanting apologies off people that might not want to apologise, but know why they need to apologize. If I don't get an apology and I'm expecting it, it might kick off. I'm not like kids, oh yeah, you owe me this, you owe me that. But realistically, nobody owes you nothing.

SPEAKER_05 11:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 11:28

Try and get on with your day as best you can.

SPEAKER_04 11:31

Otherwise, you could be screwing your own recovery over, but with that, I just wanted to take a pause with my the size of that feckin' water bottle.

SPEAKER_02 11:40

What the fuck is that? What I can argue over is the colour pink.

SPEAKER_04 11:43

Oh, I can't. He's not ashamed. He's he'll do what he wants, is his own man, aren't you?

SPEAKER_00 11:50

I'm my own man. Leave me and my water bottle alone.

SPEAKER_04 11:55

So, last thing we won't we won't spend long for we'll have difficulty recording is because of Dave.

SPEAKER_00 12:00

Um, Nick can't take responsibility for his actions, can you?

SPEAKER_04 12:05

I don't I'm not in recovery though, am I? So I don't so I'm not doing you step there, can I do that thing? I'm a mythical bastard, I'm gonna stay that way.

SPEAKER_00 12:12

You've accepted that, haven't you?

SPEAKER_04 12:14

The thing is, the thing is, it it I've I've learnt enough to know my failures and now just choosing not to address them.

SPEAKER_02 12:22

And then that's what the whole part of this podcast today has been. Listen, if I make it more clear, you don't understand. Exactly. And I'm sorry for that.

SPEAKER_03 12:34

Don't apologise. Yeah. I don't apologize. I don't apologise for anything. Oh well, you know, you know, I'm what a nice guy I am. Fucking lovely, nickname. People say that to me all the time. I pay them.

SPEAKER_02 12:52

I tell you that, that acting is coming along really well. Do you think so? Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 12:56

Don't break the news in the acting. Do you know when this goes out? Ticket is might even be on sale for my my big show. I wouldn't I wouldn't I wouldn't go if I was you.

SPEAKER_02 13:05

Why? I would. That's a bit brutal. I would. Everybody needs a laugh every now and again, don't we?

SPEAKER_04 13:11

It's a comedy role, to be fair.

SPEAKER_02 13:13

So uh you'll say, even though it's got serious society. Is it a thing? Is it theatre?

SPEAKER_04 13:17

It's theatre, royal exchange theatre, my friend.

SPEAKER_03 13:21

To be or not to be. Oh, no way. Yeah, you think some joking? Have faith. You're getting softened. Why is it why softening? I'm just expressing myself. Expressing myself for the first time ever.

SPEAKER_04 13:35

Listen, they needed a masculine deni with a chiseled physique.

SPEAKER_03 13:41

This is not gonna go well. And I said, yeah, alright, sign me up. Yep. I mean so Johnny John. They did, yeah, the wrong wrong the wrong the wrong the wrong situation.

SPEAKER_04 13:55

But see where they were going with it. I did mess up one with it.

SPEAKER_02 14:00

I did that one, yeah. But but listen, I don't know. It might lead to greatness. You you might it might lead to greatness, yeah. You might become the next one.

SPEAKER_04 14:08

Greatness is here, it might be bringing greatness to the Riley Change Vita, my friend. Um I feel like it could be the like next Charles Bronson, or maybe the next Ricky Tomlinson. Probably the next Nick Ricky Tomlinson would be better.

SPEAKER_02 14:24

I think it'd be good if Ricky Bronson Charlie Bronson, is that that guy in prison?

SPEAKER_04 14:28

Oh, that's a different Charles thing. Oh, although it do look a bit like him.

SPEAKER_00 14:31

That's what you meant because of the beer.

SPEAKER_04 14:32

Yeah, no, I do look a bit like him. But no, I meant the old Charlie Bronson from America who did like those films where he was. Oh, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 14:38

Well that should be named himself after, didn't he? Charles Bronson. Yeah, that'd be good. Yeah, that's why he called himself that, didn't he? Yeah. It wasn't really called Charles Bronson, was he?

SPEAKER_02 14:46

Good luck with your career. No, thanks. Yeah. No, thanks. Appreciate it. You will be missed here if you ever make it big. Well, I would.

SPEAKER_04 14:54

I'm just gonna do it with a better clientele.

SPEAKER_02 14:56

I really do. We've better equipment and stuff. I'll sell all these stories to the press. Oh, true or not.

SPEAKER_04 15:07

The stories are there, we're doing it. Or do you mean behind the scenes? Behind the scenes. No one will believe that. No one believed for two minutes what Karen did with that donkey before. Ain't no one ever gonna believe that.

SPEAKER_03 15:19

People don't even think it's possible.

SPEAKER_02 15:24

So lastly, before cracking, we're still going. Yeah, but can we get breaking? The weekend before we get there.

SPEAKER_04 15:32

You know, somewhere to be, have you?

SPEAKER_02 15:35

Yeah. Where have you got to be? Somewhere over there.

SPEAKER_04 15:37

Fucking hospital appointment, most probably. It's all you ever fucking.

SPEAKER_00 15:40

Oh, I'm so I'm getting so well now physically. You can already smell that Sunday road. Yeah. That's how close you're getting so well physically what?

SPEAKER_02 15:47

Seven sabots a day now. No wonder you're fucking off your nut. Fucking ridiculous. Hopefully getting well.

SPEAKER_04 15:55

This is recovery problem. It's not borers with your stuff. Oh dear. Goodness, mate.

SPEAKER_02 16:02

No, the thing is. No way, Jose. No way. No way.

SPEAKER_04 16:10

You're prolonging your life, and that's how you need to look at it when you do this kind of stuff. Yeah. I mean, fuck me, Dave. Your fucking life story must be a fucking mission, mate. Is your life story a little bit like Star Wars? You do it in like three fucking parts.

SPEAKER_02 16:23

Six. I have to go through the decade.

SPEAKER_03 16:26

Some of it's in French, isn't it? Channel chaplain. Some of it with a decade. That interview with a vampire. Oh my good friend Jesus.

SPEAKER_00 16:47

Can we get two minutes along? The Maccus season, I met him. The Roman Empire.

SPEAKER_04 16:58

Talking about Truman used to cry swimming after the Titanic sank, my friend. I tell you. I made it all the way to America. Oh god. I'm sorry, Dave.

SPEAKER_02 17:12

It's okay. It's okay. It's good because I'm not really sorry. If I'm honest, I'm not. This is what the chime was about. You don't have to keep saying sorry.

SPEAKER_04 17:20

Especially if you're not. I'm probably doing more harm than good, aren't I?

SPEAKER_02 17:23

Yeah. But uh don't think that any of this is affecting me in any way, shape, or form.

SPEAKER_00 17:37

Um what shape what shape or form do you want?

SPEAKER_02 17:40

I'm still in recovery, and I'm nearly 12 months clean. That's that is good. Well done. That is good.

SPEAKER_04 17:47

Um and we have done nothing but help build your ego, strengthen you into the man you are.

SPEAKER_00 17:53

I wouldn't say that, but you've helped me deflate it.

SPEAKER_03 17:55

No, we've strengthened him, we've made him the man he is today. I'll go with that. I'll go with that.

SPEAKER_00 18:00

But definitely helping deflate his ego. Well, I I have anyway.

SPEAKER_04 18:03

Yeah. Yeah. I've been I feel like I've been pretty neutral personally.

SPEAKER_02 18:08

Well, do you know the good thing is, even though I've come so far and it's been a long journey, I know I've got a long way to go. I can't stop, I can't stay still on this. I've got to keep going. Well, the thing is, 100% I think a lot more morning moms to go.

SPEAKER_04 18:24

I think to be fair, I think if you think about where you were a year ago to where you are now, it's a huge difference. And then you and then and again, we're caring it from where he was two years ago. So when you look at you you're better to an extent, if that makes sense, but you're never better being better. You can always continue to grow and learn new things and help others. And you do, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 18:48

Now I'm now dealing with stuff, and this is what the podcast is, a lot of podcasts is about. I'm now dealing with things that I have avoided for a long time that are still up at me to this day, that need specialist help, specialist treatment. Because if I don't get these things resolved and I go back out of treatment, there's a good chance you could go back down very quickly.

SPEAKER_04 19:09

The thing is, keeping your eye. And I don't think a lot of people do no, I don't think a lot of people take it upon themselves to do this kind of stuff, even if you're not in a rehab treatment, even if you've just done your detox and you you you you you you're you're you're doing something yourself by going to the meetings and this, that, and the other. I think there is a bit of a difference between, and I'm sure Stepwork's does how I'm not saying this, but there is a difference between recognising your issues and talking about your issues and actually addressing your issues. And although I feel like being in recovery, you're clearly talking about your issues and this, that and the other, and getting it support from lived experience. And I'm not saying this is all the time, obviously, but there are some issues that actually you need to actually address, and what I mean by that is whether it's being a counsellor, whether it's being things like rapid eye movement, whatever it is you need to do, is more than just yeah, it it's and that's the key to it, I think, with a lot of stuff because definitely, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 20:07

You don't I always joke about being fixed and being cured. I'm never gonna be fixed, I'm never gonna be cured. I just joke about it.

SPEAKER_04 20:15

Well, it can be a crutch though, I'm not not for you, I mean in general, it can be a crutch because and we've talked about this before about people who are who are who are sober drunks or sober addicts or whatever, and the f the idea being that well just because you go to a meeting, dry drunk, sorry, just because you go to a meeting and just because you're willing to and and and fairness, you're not taking anything and you're willing to talk about stuff, you haven't let it go, you haven't addressed it, so therefore, it still tortures you. You might you bare knuckles are a good point because you may do you might be doing brilliant because you're not touching anything, yeah, but it's still traumatizing you. Yeah, all you're doing is not using the thing that would usually use to traumatise it, and that's brilliant because you're not using, but you haven't actually addressed the issue.

SPEAKER_00 21:01

It's fucking painful lives, yeah. But it can be a crutch, though. That's why a lot of people end up using because it's just too painful, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 21:06

And that's why I mean some people can see recovery to some extent as a crutch. And what I mean by that is is they will say, Yeah, but I'm clean, I'm in recovery. Yeah, yeah. Well, yeah, but you for your own sanity, yeah, for your own well being.

SPEAKER_00 21:19

It's the thinking as well. They've they've still got the they've still got that. This they're trying to think the way into the problem with the same thinking. No, sorry, they're trying to think the way into the solution with the same thinking that got them into the problem.

SPEAKER_04 21:31

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 21:31

So they're trying to they're still in that sort of mindset. So everywhere they go, they're just gonna hit a barrier, or every every time they they make a decision, it's it's not gonna be right. They want to hamster me.

SPEAKER_04 21:40

And I think some people maybe certain maybe certainly if they've not done step work, if they're just going to meetings and stuff. This is that I'm not spitballing, I can know exactly what I'm on about here. But my point being more to do with the fact I think some people might not have done enough work. They're not drinking, yeah, and they're going to meetings, which is brilliant, or they're not doing drugs, they're not. But they haven't done enough work to truly find out what it was that anchored him to this point in the first place. Do you know what I mean? So the ta' kind of the they get the keychain or the token or whatever, and they're like, I've done three years sober. But but you're just you're you're going through the motions and it must be torture. It must be just torture. Yeah, of course. Do you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_02 22:27

Um it is, it is.

unknown 22:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 22:32

Well that happy note.

SPEAKER_00 22:33

Yeah, should we end it there?

SPEAKER_04 22:34

We should end it because we've been going on a while.

SPEAKER_00 22:36

But that I I like that bit there.

SPEAKER_02 22:38

That that is all about recovery. What we were talking about properly there, then yeah. That is yeah. We can laugh and joke about it, but it's not a funny thing. No, recovery's not funny. It's a life mocking you is funny. Yeah that's a funny stuff. This stuff is life and death. Of course it is. It really is.

SPEAKER_04 22:55

Of course it is. And I think that um I and I do think when when I do think lightheartedness is important as well. And the reason for that is is because reality is just like everything else, we you might we might address certain things on this on the podcast and stuff, and we know what the important things are, but we we use laughter and this, that and the other when sometimes maybe when an issue gets a bit too much for us or we don't know how to approach an issue, yeah. Definitely we'll jump on that a little bit.

SPEAKER_02 23:25

We we have done that and we do do that because that's how us as mate men and males, that's how we do stuff. Yeah, we do get into where it's the goal.

SPEAKER_04 23:35

I think we can all three of us can agree that actually if you benefit from this podcast, it's brilliant. Yeah, if if this this this isn't supposed to sound sexual. But if yeah, but if you're if you're um if you're a man and you're local, you'll benefit more, I think, from the creeps that we do on a Tuesday, Thursday. Because we have more in-depth because no one's recording anything and people are willing to come on that wouldn't come on this because people are just here talking, you benefit more, I think, from that because you get your chance to throw your two p in and you talk about your stuff, and and we know when something's serious, or we know when you want us to joke about something, even though you want us to address it and this, that, and the other. Tuesday, Thursday mornings, 10 o'clock, the rec's ulted. That's where we are. And if you come to those groups, that will be a huge benefit, I think.

SPEAKER_02 24:25

And banter is banters for belief for me. It has been for the last it has, and and that's part of that life is not all seriousness. We do actually have a bit of fun about it. That's the great thing about this. Right, we're done. We're done. It's hard now. Right, champ. Thank you. Appreciate it, appreciate me. See you next Thursday, champ.