Extremism, Freedom, and Pride. Matthew Nouriel’s story Part 2

Part two of this powerful and deeply personal conversation.  In this episode Matthew Nouriel shares his journey from growing up around extremist ideology to discovering his own voice, freedom, and identity. His story explores the difficult path of challenging beliefs, breaking away from harmful narratives, and finding the courage to live authentically.

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:08

Yeah, no, I wish I could come up with like a solution. I'm sure all of us seem to think that, but for the Jews there. I just think we're it would be nice for the Americans to at least on all sides forget the politics. Just to like understand that if we're here in America and we want to continue enjoying the privileges and the blessings of being able to be free and be in a democracy that doesn't, you know, kill us for showing our hair, that you know, these are the like we I feel like we it should be a no-brainer to support the countries that have that same moral compass. Like I just it should be like that simple. Like, hey, if you have people that are are are hoping and aiming to have the same life that you do, we should be supporting those people. And the fact that Israel, like even forget Jewish or not Jewish, what other country in the Middle East gives you the same freedom as they as you have there? Like no other, no other country, like you can't be anywhere near as free. And so I just don't I feel like people really miss I think I guess people are just entirely too privileged here. A hundred percent. And that's really all that it is. And people always say, like, oh, it's send people to Israel. I'm like, no, like send people to like Afghanistan, send them to like Iraq, send them to, you know, like the places that like you you can't even like you can't even show a little bit of skin or or any and you can't drink or you can't do anything, like send them there because I feel like people just don't understand how lucky we are here. And I think to your point, because you're Persian and I'm Russian and we come from like parents that that taught us what struggle is because they had to struggle, you know. I think that that's the only reason that we I mean, I'm fortunate. I I consider myself fortunate enough to have like the awareness of what's going on and to not be, you know, some some kid that's like burning the American flag and not understanding like what I'm doing. You know, and so I think that like it's uh I'm grateful for that. But it I'd like to think that maybe that's where the disconnect is. Maybe people here are just they think that this is just a given everywhere, that everyone just gets to live this freely.

SPEAKER_00 2:38

And and it can't even think it out that far, to be honest with you. I think you hit the nail on the head. I think that they don't recognize their own. While they're ranting and ra raging about everybody's privilege, they're not recognizing their own. Right? When Kalawalsh gets to go to Iran and choose to put on a hijab and stand in front of missiles and talk about indigenously produced missiles of Iran, and then get on a plane and come back to the US, she's not recognizing her own privilege, and she's not seeing the irony in that because the people in Iran don't have that privilege. Like at all. They don't even have the choice, right? So it is all privilege, it's all posturing, and it's absolutely absurd. And you're right, it is really as simple as we should be aligned with the countries that hold the same values that we do and that cherished privil that that kind of having that privilege. That's simple, like but they complicate everything with all of this insane, like jargon. Like nothing, it's like everything's I call it pseudo-intellectual horse shit. It's like you make a very simple point and they come back with the this and the that and the da-da-da. And they come back before you know your head spinning, your eyes across, you're like, I don't know what you're talking about.

SPEAKER_01 3:59

Like the term pink washing makes like it's what the fuck is that? The gymnasti the mental gymnastics that I have to go through, they're basically like saying that we that the only re reason Israel um wants to pretend to be okay with gay people is so that it can use that as a cover for their murder of Gazans. And I have to pause when I say that because that's like that is the level of like mental gymnastics that I have to go through to even like explain what that is in words, but that's like really what it is, you know. Like, so so forget that Israel has like the third largest gay pride parade in the world, forget that it has like rainbows painted on the grounds and in Tel Av. Like, forget all the gay bars, forget that like I can actually go there and be recognized as a lesbian. Like it's it's it's just I it's stupid. Like people just don't like I I'm literally I was in Jerusalem, and to the right of me is a woman in a hijab, to the left of me is uh is a man with tefillin. I and then down there is like I'm walking with my girlfriend, and like we're all right there, and it's like where where else do you see that? Aside from countries that are westernized, aside from places that are okay with democracy and places that are not, you know, run by extreme religions. Like that at the end of the day, it's really just that simple. If you want to be free, respect the countries that that want the same thing, and realize that like that's who's gonna have our back. Why would you ever think that's that a country that hates Western values is gonna somehow care about our survival? They're not. Everyone, I mean, everyone is taught in Iran that death to Israel and death to America was like their anthem. Like it's literally not worked out well for the regime.

SPEAKER_00 5:52

I always say Iranians are too are too smart to fall for all of that bullshit. But I think the truth of the matter is the regime had an opposite effect. Right? It it was so extreme that everybody in Iran is like, what is this? Like, what why I don't want death to America and death to Israel. Like, I just want to live a happy, peaceful life.

SPEAKER_01 6:16

I mean, I just can't imagine the transition from having like pictures on the beach with in a regular bathing suit to now having to be fully covered. Like, as a woman, how do you even like people think like you just you start anew, like, oh, new people are born into a new regime, but they don't realize that there were like 30-year-olds that had spent 30 years of their life in one way, and then now all of a sudden have all of their freedoms just like stripped right in front of them. Like, could you imagine? Like, if right now you step outside of the car and now I have to go like this, right?

SPEAKER_00 6:53

Like, but you know, God forbid I should like what is that what's interesting is that, and I always say we as as societies and as countries and as a world, we need to learn from what happened in Iran because it wasn't a hostile take. I mean, in the sense of Khomeini was ushered the fuck in on a bed of roses, okay? Thank you, Jimmy Carter. So well, thank you, Jimmy Carter, but also like my point is that everybody thought I hate to make the comparison, but it's it's very similar with Mamdani. Now, I'm not saying Mam Dani's gonna turn into Khomeini, but honestly, honestly, if he had if he was given the opportunity, I mean I do think he's a mouthpiece for a much larger movement. Exactly. Um, but in the same way that he kind of he used all this leftist jargon and like very idealistic, all of it is what Khomeini did. We've seen it happen before, right? And we saw it happen in Iran. I'm here, and everything's rooted in the beauty of Islam, and it's it's about freedom, and it's about flower power and and uh equality for all, and nobody should be poor, and blah blah blah blah blah, yada yada yada. Blame the shop, blame the shop, blame the rich, blame the rich, right? There's a documentary I remember once seeing about the the um revolution happen when it happened in Iran, and it's all set to Gugush to her music, and they were showing all of these women prior to Khomeini coming to power, chanting for Khomeini, chanting for my gosh, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 8:30

And where are those women now?

SPEAKER_00 8:32

It literally showed a video within a matter of weeks of him coming into power, all wearing chador, which in is the Persian word for tent, by the way. It's not just the hijab, it's like a full thing, and they're all protesting against the forced hijab. And it is, it's laughable, and it's really sad, but it is laughable. It's like you, you, you wanted this. You thought you knew what you were doing in the name of some idealistic bullshit. You didn't think twice about it because it's it it was um appealing to your senses, which I think we're seeing so much of now with young people. Like it's appealing to be anti-imperialist, it's appealing to be anti-American. Do you know what it actually means to be anti-American? Do you have any fucking clue what it means? Ask an Iranian because they know. Oh yeah, they know we know. Ask a fucking ask a Russian, a Russian fucking knows, okay? So the very fact that you're out here protesting in the streets for regimes and ideologies that would stop you from doing the very protesting that you're doing, that would deem it illegal. Do they stop to think about it?

SPEAKER_01 9:48

Oh, I know this is the like it's like literally the best part. They will scream that we have a fascist dictator, and yet if we had a fascist dictator, we would be dead by saying that. You can't just say that and like hang out the rest of the day. It doesn't work that way. Look at what's happening in Iran.

SPEAKER_00 10:06

But you know, it's crazy to me. It's crazy a little. Yeah, you know, you don't and it's not about loving Trump or hating Trump. And it's so weird to me because I'll say things like that and people like he's been red pilled, he he loves Trump. No, I I I don't it's not that's not even what the fuck it's about. Because you're not a Trumper by any means. I'm not a Trumper. I agree with the I I think his foreign policy is on point. A thousand percent. Some other stuff here I'm not in agreement with, but as far as I'm concerned, as a Jew and Iranian, the other stuff takes precedence for me. Same. And at the end of the day, he was a democratically elected. He didn't come in via a coup, okay? He won the election fair and square.

SPEAKER_01 10:49

Even after they pretended that he stole it before when he didn't. So and he, you know, he didn't just win, he like annihilated like by two million people. There's there is no dispute here, right? You know, like at all. And that's and but the people don't even want to recognize that hey, my neighbor and two million other of my neighbors feel this way. Maybe we should think about things a little differently. Maybe we shouldn't be as polarizing, but no, people just double down further. Like the left went even further left, and it's it's it's it's all it's all bad. And the far right is all nuts too. And they all like it's the horseshoe theory is correct. They should all just go hang out together and leave all of us moderate people, you know, it's alone.

SPEAKER_00 11:32

I do think I do think that the the the alt-right is gonna start sort of really bubbling up in the same way that the I guess the far left is what we call it, bubbled up on in the Democratic Party. I do think we're gonna see more of that over the years. Sure. And that's what scares me. Uh we need to get that in check. I don't know how.

SPEAKER_01 11:52

I mean, look, at the end of the day, I feel like you root out anti-Semitism over here and it's just gonna creep out over here. No matter what, you know, it it sucks to say, but people have always historically hated Jews. That is our history. And so we just have to, you know, like as Jews, we're gonna always protect ourselves and and and look out for ourselves, and we're always going to be okay. We always that's I think as chosen people, that's that's been like at least for me, what I feel like no matter what, we're gonna find a way to survive and thrive. And I think in the meantime, I just hope that we can get, you know, the people that are around us in the countries that we live in to understand that like the people that hate us are also gonna hate them, you know, and like it's it goes hand in hand here. Like I so I don't know, hopefully, hopefully we can start finding a little bit of more unity.

SPEAKER_00 12:39

I hope so. I I really also as you're speaking, I'm thinking of you know, where are the moderate left? Like, they don't speak up enough. No more veteran are like the only two left that are but even just in the general population, because I know there's a lot of them out there because they'll DM me and they'll comment on my posts and stuff, and they're like, oh, not all of the left is that like okay, then speak out.

SPEAKER_01 13:02

Yeah, then say something, then actually because you know what? I think the second they start speaking out, then it's gonna look like they're supporting Trump. And so they have a gag order. See, I won't see that's crazy. Right, but imagine like how much you're getting dragged for things, and you're not even registered Republican, and you're getting dragged. So, like at the end of the day, it's unfortunate. But like, if you are going to be, you know, supporting anything that like whatever side Trump is on, anybody that's a Democrat wants to be on the opposite, even if it's going against their own best interests, even if it's wrong, and it's it's just it's it's sad, but like the Trump derangement syndrome has like taken over to a point where people's like I just ideals, principles, morals have just like left the building. You know, people are so in a place where they believe that if you like Trump, then you are racist and evil and fascist, which again, like I don't get how those words even make sense. I don't think they know what fascist means. They don't know what they don't, they just think it's a it's a white man. It's so crazy. It's just the it's just like the white boogeyman. And they don't realize how fascism is played out in so many different places and in so many different races, and you know, but that's you know, I think we could have like a whole story on that.

SPEAKER_00 14:18

A whole a whole episode on fascism. Like, look up Mussel Fucking Lini. Right.

SPEAKER_01 14:24

But um we were talking about you know the the difference between like because we're both gay, and obviously like being Jewish and you know, Iran like really mean a lot to us, and but we also like wanted to have a chance to talk about what it's like just being gay people now and and and in the community. And so what we wanted to, we started talking about how there's LGB and then there's T, and historically it's always been LGBT, and now it's LGB and everything else. The whole alphabet. And so, you know, like Matthew actually just let me know that back in 2019 he used to identify as non-binary, and so I want to dive into that a little bit.

SPEAKER_00 15:07

So it's so I still do, but I just don't talk about it anymore because the QIA plus people have kind of ruined it for me in a sense. When I discovered this term non-binary back in like I don't know, 2019, 2018, whenever it was, I felt very validated and seen by it. I was doing drag a lot more at that time. I was exploring my identity, which I think everybody should always explore our identities. I don't think we should be locked into anything at any time.

SPEAKER_01 15:39

Go past this light, then at the next one, make a U-turn.

SPEAKER_00 15:42

Yes, ma'am.

SPEAKER_01 15:44

Uh-huh. Not let the world know where we are.

SPEAKER_00 15:48

That um um but to me, it didn't mean that I was no longer male. And there's this whole concept of sex and gender being separate things, which fine. But if they're separate things, okay. I hope I'm articulating this right. If sex is one thing and gender, if sex is biological and gender is psychological, for lack of better terminology, then being non-binary doesn't change the fact that I'm male, right? Correct. Being non-binary means that I don't, I I to me what it meant was I don't feel like I fit into the standard or the norm of what society has created, which is what it means to be a man and what it means to be a woman. Correct. Which really spoke to me. I thought that was really cool, and I still think it's really, really cool, right? What I don't think is cool is all of a sudden, over the course of like a couple of years within that time frame, like in COVID, you started seeing all these videos popping up of people with purple hair and what I like up, do you, babe, like whatever, screaming at the top of their lungs, like not to be I'm they're them, like, or like somebody who identifies as female but is has a beard and looks like a man, sounds like a man, presents as a man, screaming at people that they're a she her. Now, listen, I'm fully on board with the transgender community, but my understanding is when we're and I I've someone wanna get really real, these are things I don't talk about very much, not publicly, but here we go. I've been diagnosed with gender dysphoria, and the reason I choose not to take it any further, and granted, the degree of gender dysphoria that I have is not to the degree of somebody that literally, and I know people like this, like that they were on the path to destruction and death if they didn't transition, and I get that. That's not me, and I don't want it to be confused with, right? But from my understanding, is when you have gender dysphoria, it's because the I the the the the you don't feel comfortable in your skin as the sex or gender that you were born as, right? Right. So you do what you can in your power to transition so that you can feel aligned and so that you can pass and fit in in society, right? Whether it be male to female or female to male, right, what have you. So my sort of senses get a little tweaked out when I see someone who's like, I'm a sheher, but I'm perfectly comfortable with my dick bulging out, with facial hair, with sounding like a man, looking like a man, and wearing a crop top, and then yelling at people that I'm a woman. That does not compute to me. It doesn't make does not make sense to me, and I feel like, and I'm open to being corrected, but somebody who genuinely has gender dysphoria, which is a prerequisite to being transgender, would not go around behaving that way. It doesn't make sense, so there's that part of it. Also, I just feel like the blue haired crazy they them ruined it for me because I don't want to bring that attention to myself. And even well-meaning people, people that are friends that make it a make it such a uh um a conscious effort, and they do it in a way that they're letting me know that they're making the conscious effort to refer to me as they and them. I don't want that kind of attention, I just don't want that attention brought to me. I feel like this is an issue that I have. I not even an issue, I think it's a really cool thing, a really cool part of me. And I feel like those people have ruined it for me because now they've made it this spectacle, and I don't want to be a spectacle. When I'm in drag, I'll be a spectacle. That's when I can put it on and be a spectacle. But in my everyday life, I don't want to be a spectacle. And I also want to name that I think it's really important. People have to be rooted in reality, and when that sense of reality went out the window somewhere in 2020 or 2021 with COVID, with COVID, it ruined it because it's like you have to be self-aware. Okay, I'm six foot two, these are my hands, okay. This is my face, okay. I I I have something between my legs, all right. I can be non-binary until the cows come home. I'm still male, okay. And I'm very much aware, I have size 12 feet. I am very much aware of the fact of what I look like, what I sound like. Even in drag, there is no question about the fact that I'm a male, okay? So that's me saying I understand the reality, I understand how I come off, and no matter what kind of gender discord, I have that's for me to take care of between me and my therapist and my friends or whatever. But I can't go around expecting everybody to call me they, them. Or she, her. I just can't. I don't. Now, if I were to transition to function and past as a woman, that's a different story. I think that's a matter of respect. Anyone who has a general understanding of what gender dysphoria is and how it affects a person would not be so cruel as to tell somebody, and this is when we see this kind of stuff online that I think is horrible. This that's a man, that's a man, you're a man, you mean hit, like purposely misgendering somebody who's trans or being very cruel about it. I I don't think that's okay.

SPEAKER_01 21:40

I mean, I think that's crazy. I mean, and I as much as I I think the whole they them is for me, like it it I don't think that I have a difficult time because look, when you when you think about you look at me, I dress in all traditionally men's clothing. I for all intents and purposes, love the traditional man gender rule. Yeah. And I, you know, I like to present this way. And I think that if you had been given like if I had ever been given the choice to like if I could have been born in another lifetime, how would I want to be born? And I probably would say man. Now with that said, I'd want to be like a six foot four man that's you know ripped and stunning and all of that. If I had the choice of being like a four foot five bald man, I I probably would I'd rather probably just be a woman. So like I I'm I maybe I don't actually want to be a guy but my point is is that like I at the end of the day no matter how I in my opinion if I were to go through surgeries and and and medicine and all of these things no matter which way I slice it like I'm still not going to do no pun intended. Like correct no pun intended but like I will never I'll never be a male and like for me when I think about you know what are the things that I envy or or that I wish that I could do if I were to be a male would be like to impregnate a woman. You know no matter what we do I'm not going to be able to have that opportunity. And so like I remember I mean the L word got so much flack for this back in the day like the old school L word but there was an episode where one of the characters was like what does it mean to be like a man inside like we're a woman inside like we're like you how would you feel like with me like as a black woman this was the character was saying like if I said I feel like I was white inside would you support me to change that you know and that was like such a I remember like thinking about that because the character then continued on to say like we're losing our strongest woman and I thought about that because people come up to me all the time and ask me like oh you must be there or you must be trans because I'm so masculine presenting. And I'm like masculinity is not a gender you know like and for me like I'm not going to change the fact that I menstruate okay I guess we could get a hysterectomy I don't want one but like I menstruate I have breasts like I like I at the end of the day I I was born into this world like as a female and for me like if I if I there are things about being a man that I love or that I envy or that I feel connect or relate to me then I get to do it by dressing this way and and opening doors and and and doing things that I feel like make me feel like more aligned in that sense. But like I I don't think that makes me less of a woman and I think a part of this this you know gender binary that we're creating is to some degree saying that like those two don't exist anymore. Like I can't be a butch woman. I have to therefore be someone that wants to be a man. And I at the end of the day like I you know I I don't necessarily I guess I just don't understand you know why like why we can't still have like lesbian spaces and lesbian pride without it taking away from the they movement or the trans movement. Like why things have to instead of like honoring individual groups like and what I mean by that is like I have trans friends or like I in the past I've had they don't really want to speak to me anymore because of politics. But it I've known I've known females that have identify as men that have removed their breasts and have gone through and are on testosterone and very much present as as men now and want to be considered he and say they're men and yet want to be invited to every lesbian event. That's yeah that is a little to me offensive because I'm like I'm sorry if I want to be a man and I then transition to be a man and I say I'm a man and I want you to call me he then as a man I need to respect your woman welcome in it. Right.

SPEAKER_00 26:07

Because I'm no longer a woman but so so theoretically they would go and hang out in men's spaces.

SPEAKER_01 26:13

Right. Like wouldn't you like for me like if I'm gonna transition to be a man like I'm gonna go be with the boys because that's what I want to do. Yeah but instead these people transition say they're the other gender demand respect as that other gender and yet want to still be in the same like femin like women's spaces and so you know I remember JK Rowling was dragged because she was saying that women's spaces were becoming like taken over and they were unsafe and years ago back when I was very left I was dragging her along with everyone else but she was right all along like our spaces as women are are getting infiltrated. Like they're it and to a point where I'm like look like I respect you wanting to be trans. Then if you're a trans man if you're a man then get out of my woman's space.

SPEAKER_00 26:59

Like by what do you think then about trans women in women's spaces?

SPEAKER_01 27:04

If you to me if you've had surgery like look this was a great example I played in a league it was a women's league but it included you know people that identified as women and there were there were three players one player had transitioned I don't know 10 or 15 years ago fully transitioned. I would have never known in a million years that she was ever male before like ever like she fully passed great looking woman great person I still think she's a great person she just hates me but um she's great but you would have never known that she had ever been male and she played like when she would hit me it felt like a a woman was hitting me okay now again she had trans like trans um fully transitioned I would say at least it was 10 years prior okay but it was a substantial amount of time there were other players that I mentioned that were halfway transitioned or just starting their transition or whatever they were in the process of doing and they when I got hit with them I I felt a difference. I didn't like playing with them you know there and so I could see there was a difference. So like in spaces like that I feel like you have to protect you know women in that sense like actual females. Now at a bar if you are someone that identifies as a woman and you like that's how you identify then by all means like you're saying you have to correct me if I'm all it sounds like you're saying you have to earn the right to call yourself a woman and not only that but to enter women's spaces I guess. You have to actually be wild. Yeah like you have to suffer the consequence of what it means to be a woman. If you present like a woman and and you're getting cat called or you're afraid of getting raped when you're walking down the street or you're doing any of those things that women deal with by all means you're a woman. But like if you're if you're actively taking hormones to avoid being a woman and then you're growing a beard and you're taking your tits off and you're walking around and gaining the respect of other men and the safety of what it means to present as a man but then you want to be at my lesbian night and then more than anything get mad at me for calling it lesbian night and tell me that I need to rename it to queer night so that it's more inclusive. I mean all due respect fuck off like you're you're now a man go be with your men.

SPEAKER_00 29:30

Yeah like go to those or create another space that's inclusive of right like I I can I can I can understand.

SPEAKER_01 29:37

And it's again like I don't want to take away from their space but to me it's like if you want like the whole point I thought is that you're going to respect how someone identifies right so if you identify as a man then you're a man at all times not just like whenever you feel like it's convenient. And that's that's the part that's frustrating and it's also frustrating that like people care so much about like having non-binary it's dying on like federal documents. Like I'm sorry but like think about traveling think about a doctor's office like basic things like it's not even about social construct anymore. It's just basic science like if you get hit by a car and you get rushed to the emergency room like we need to kind of know whether you're male or female.

SPEAKER_00 30:25

But again that this is what I was coming back to being rooted in reality.

SPEAKER_01 30:28

Right. You need to be rooted in reality.

SPEAKER_00 30:31

Yeah be me being non-binary does not change the fact that I'm a male I'm biologically male right and I present as a male like that's it like even if I didn't present as a male like everything you're talking about like the airport or if you got hit by a car and you need to go to the hospital doctor's office whatever. I'm okay with that. Yeah there was a brief moment back in like 2019 2020 where I was like and I started getting caught up in it like call me he him and I remember immediately thinking like look in the mirror bro like you're a he you like just look in the mirror don't expect anything anybody else to live in the fantasy in your head you know it makes it makes sense and I I don't know but it and I and I do feel like you know matter which way we cut up this entire conversation you and I are certainly I am gonna sound transphobic and to me that's but that's not transphobic not the case. And I also don't want I also really want to point out that like if someone identifies as they I will call you they like I'm not going to you know disparage someone like in the same way that someone wants to identify as a cat like okay per like I'll be how you but listen you also again you have to be rooting reality as a person because you can't expect people to remember they them I understand like grammatically speaking that and I agree like that we use they them as singular all the time people don't realize this we do when we don't know some so and so the they left their whatever like we do it all the time so that's not my problem but my but I don't even like I'm an I don't even remember they them with the they thems half the time and I don't want to be those they them's I just don't I'm sorry I'm a different they them I don't want to be that they them in fact I'm a he him she her I actually don't give a fuck what you call me I I saw someone really could not give too much someone's LinkedIn once that said he they she I used to put that on my Instagram I used to have they them and then I put he they she but no but hear me out hear me out hear me outside oh did you see that what oh but got finished and so no hear me out the reason I did that was because people are making such a fuss about they them and I was like I don't care that much so I'm just gonna put he they she because you can call me whatever you want it makes no difference to me because also also when you're securing yourself and you know who the fuck you are you don't need other people to fucking validate you all the time and I think that this is like a thing we're missing out on teaching our young people what are we teaching them that your validation depends your your self-worth and validation depends on if other people respect your fucking pronouns yeah fuck you call me you can call me whatever the fuck pronouns you want I'm good with who I am I know who I am I don't need that validation.

SPEAKER_01 33:20

Yeah yeah so that's why I put he that and then I took it off because I was like I don't want to deal with it at all because of the blue haireds okay I don't even know which camera's working this one okay because of you blue haired I keep the she up because I people seem to think I'm a man and so now I just I keep that up for like no confusion here. But it it's so funny.

SPEAKER_00 33:42

Do you think they think you're a man or do you think they presume that you identify as a man because of how you present yourself?

SPEAKER_01 33:47

Honestly like it the amount of times that I get called sir throughout the day is you know even before like the pronoun thing became popular it was happening. Really? Now sometimes the best is like hi sir ma'am sir ma's I'm like ma'am sir let's just that's the new one ma'am sir but it's it's it's so funny and I I mean I I it's so nice to see people that care so much at the end of the day like I think that there is it is sweet that yeah there are so many people in society that care so much about like not hurting people's feelings but it just it's gotten to a point where like it's nothing is real anymore. And um yeah no I mean did you see the story about the guy who identifies as gay and is gay but he's married to a woman I've seen some of this and I just think it you're making a spectacle out and aren't they having a kid or they having yes they're having a kid he's in love with this woman he's saying that she that she that she's it for him but he's gay so he's bisexual. Right but no he won't say that because he says that she is the that she that she's the exception okay that's fine but like she's still a woman so therefore you're a bisexual like you're bisexual for one person but you're bisexual like how do you say that you're gay and yet like you're married to a woman you're and and you're and you're not doing it as like a lavender marriage. You're not saying it like it's fake like you're actually saying you're in love with her and you're kissing her in the picture and you impregnated her like it's not like it was you know it done in a petri dish like you sat you slept with her. You say that you enjoy it but you're gay like that's what I mean by like it's offensive to gay people now like he offends me as a gay person. Like you can't then you're nothing means anything.

SPEAKER_00 35:32

Like you're living a straight life yeah that's why genocide and apartheid don't mean anything they don't mean an and that that's ex what I was telling you earlier about the queer thing as well why I don't like using that term anymore. And I never liked using it because well we talked about this before the camera's on but when I was a kid growing up in England that term was used to me in a derogatory way my every day of my life like I was bullied incessantly and that was when it was puff and it was queer. So I've kind of forced myself to take on the word queer because I do love an umbrella term. It certainly made it easier when I'm speaking like publicly or whatever. But now more recently I'm like I don't want to use that word because A I don't like it. It's it doesn't have a good feeling to me. Maybe it's because I'm from a different generation but also because again it's lost all meaning because now we have for example and I won't name names but people who are was identified born named female at birth or whatever and are essentially women who enjoy the company of men but they shave their head and call themselves non-binary and queer and all of a sudden now they're part of the LGBT community because they're queer but it's like you have no fucking idea my being bullied was not your costume. Like I didn't have that choice you know but you're putting it on as a trendy costume and I'm not buying it because I'm seeing your mannerisms I'm seeing the way you behave and you're a woman and shaving your head doesn't make you less of one and calling yourself non-binary doesn't now if you were maybe I'd be more if you were in lesbian relationships or bisexual whatever maybe I'd be more apt to believe you but now we're seeing all of these people who are entering queer spaces under the guise of being queer that really what is queer about you besides your haircut yeah now it's just all it's like drag. It's yeah it's drag it's drag. Like when I wear combat boots am I am I a let like do I get to call myself a lesbian because I'm like if I dress we're a G I Jane when you wear those boots. Seriously I'm dead oh my god so I guess there's a lot to unpack here and no I don't I don't believe I don't want to disrespect anybody or I want to like respect anybody's identity but again like you can't like get mad at people for calling out what they see A or B making a mistake.

SPEAKER_01 37:53

True yeah and amen to that yeah I love that we did this.

SPEAKER_00 37:57

I do too I feel like it's its own episode. Yeah