Opening My Eyes Through Motherhood

Welcome back to Generations of Grace Podcast! There are times in your walk with Christ and throughout motherhood that make no sense to you until you're experiencing it. You don't know how to be a mom until you are a mom yourself. You aren't sure how to talk as a baby until you learn how to talk. As we dive into this episode maybe there are some things that you didn't understand about your mom when you were a kid, but you understand it now. In the same way with God, maybe you didn't understand some things about Him when you used to read it in your bible, but you are having more revelations about who He is. We are here to say, don't give up! Have faith in the Lord, trust in Him, and the more you seek Him then the more of Himself He will reveal to you. 

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Music by Mikhail Smusev from Pixabay

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:21

Hi, everybody. Welcome back to Generations of Grace podcast. We're excited to be here just like we are every week. And it's beautiful weather outside. This week has been so, so pretty. We've had like 70 and 80 degree weather, and I don't really know if I'm ready for summer after feeling some of this heat. I like it like this, but not much hotter. But but it's been a nice break from being cold or snowy or anything like that. But um, we hope everyone out there is doing great today and has had a blessed week so far and continues to get more blessings. Um, today we're gonna talk about something um that has to do with motherhood. We're going to, Chloe's gonna do some teaching on just things that she has learned and how she's grown closer to God through motherhood and the things that it has taught her in personal testimonies. And um, we also both kind of have two different viewpoints because Chloe is a young mother now and she's got little children to where I have adult children. And you don't ever stop being a mom just because you're, you know, your children have grown up.

SPEAKER_02 1:21

That's right.

SPEAKER_00 1:22

But it does, it does change the way you see things and the way you've learned and the way you grew. And and there will just be so much more to learn along along the way, just like we learn so much more about being a Christian along the way. So I am gonna go ahead and turn it over to Chloe and let her start with um what she's wanting to share with y'all, and I'll just jump in and let you guys know my point of view on things as we go.

SPEAKER_01 1:45

All right. So how I was wanting to go with this today is I was looking back on my life and I was understanding that there's different seasons in your life, like mom was talking about, even whenever your kids are grown and stuff, you don't stop being their parent. You don't stop teaching and training and giving wisdom and knowledge just because they're moved out of your house. Right. Or they have their own family. It's just a different season of motherhood. And so I was reflecting a lot, just like it's a different season in your walk with Christ, as mom was saying. You don't always the same. If you remain the same the entire walk with Christ, you're not growing, you're becoming stagnant and dirty, and it's not remaining pure. You have to continue to grow.

SPEAKER_00 2:23

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 2:24

And so I just labeled this episode as the Lord opened my eyes through motherhood, because as I began to walk in the steps that my mom walked in different seasons throughout her motherhood, I began to realize certain things I didn't realize as a kid. And in the same way with my walk with Christ is I may not understand what some people are doing up on a platform or behind closed doors and stuff, but as I begin to grow in my walk with the Lord, more things are revealed to me that I didn't know before. And so, as we know from previous episodes, I became a mom at 16, and then I had my second my second daughter, my daughter, one boy, one girl. And I was around 20 when I had her. And so I became a mom really young, and I may not have felt prepared or I may not have known what I was doing. And but I had to learn how to take wisdom from my mom, and I had to learn how to have trust from her. And so I was understanding what it was like to be a mom. I had to take her word for it because I had never experienced that before. And in the same way, in your walk with Christ, you may not know which step to take. It may be uncomfortable, you may not feel prepared, or like well, I know like when we started this podcast, we both felt very uncomfortable, very nervous, and we still have to work through those emotions, but we felt unprepared. Well, we don't we don't know how to work technology like some people do, right? We don't know how to speak intellectually, like some people do, but all those are lies from the enemy. If you have the very Holy Spirit within you that Jesus sent after him when you choose him as your Lord and Savior after laying your life down, then you are capable. Yes, and you are able, and you have that authority and power within you to speak. Just because you aren't a Bible scholar doesn't mean that you can't share the gospel and your testimony with others. That's just a lie from the enemy. So just some things that I had told mom, and she remembers these too, is when I was pregnant with my son, I would ask her things like, Well, he's in my stomach now, so I can keep him safe and I can protect him in here. How am I supposed to protect him after he's here? Because he's out in the world, things could happen. What do I do? And do you remember the things you would tell me?

SPEAKER_00 4:36

I I remember some of them. And and um I specifically remember you asking me, Well, what if I don't love him the way that I'm supposed to be? Yeah, like how am I supposed to love him? How am I supposed to just naturally just start loving him like more than I love you? And and I told her, I said, it will come. He is your child, and it will just naturally, when you meet him, it will come. And she couldn't fathom that because she hadn't met him, yeah, and she had never been a mother. But it it will just like Jesus just loves us and it's just it's just there. He just loves us because we are his children. And I told her it will come. And did it come?

SPEAKER_01 5:09

It came already.

SPEAKER_00 5:09

Did it come naturally or did you have to work at it?

SPEAKER_01 5:12

No, it was just there. And I was like, what, what, what is this? What I don't know what to do with this. I didn't know how to control my emotions, and I didn't know. And so, just in that, I had to take mom's word in faith and in trust and knowing that she's been through that season and she's using her wisdom and knowledge to teach me in the same way with your walk with Christ, is you have to put your faith in his word that even though you're not there yet, he's not going to give you something that is just gonna come naturally. If he's trying to strengthen you, then he's gonna give you something outside of your comfort zone, and you have to put your faith and trust on that word. And everything will be taken care of after that. Like it'll, like mom said, did it come naturally or was it hard to work for? If you stand on the word of God, his peace will come naturally. If you stand on the words of the world, you will not have that peace to follow you. You will not have that to stand upon and continue in your walk. And so I went to Jeremiah 17, 7 and 8. It says, Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, who trusts oh whose trust is in the Lord. He's like a tree planted by water that sends out its roots by the stream, and does not fear when heat comes, for its leaves remain green, and is not anxious in the year of drought, for it does not cease to bear fruit. And this is so good for motherhood and your walk with Christ, because you are going to be blessed when you trust in the Lord. Your trust is the Lord, it can't come from anything else. It says He's like a tree planted by the water. So your very life source, you're gonna be planted within that. When you're remaining on the Word of God, when you are staying true to motherhood and who God has called you to be as a mom, and learn that, you're always gonna have that life source right there with you, and you won't start drowning. It's gonna be sufficient enough for you. Um, it says it does not fear when he comes. So there's gonna be seasons that it's gonna be hot, like right now, it's getting hot outside, like what we said at the beginning. But it's gonna be sometimes you may feel alone, uh, you may feel anxious, and you may feel very overwhelmed in motherhood and you don't know what you're doing, and all this. But as you begin to learn, like we said, the Lord opening your eyes through motherhood in different situations, even if you aren't a mom, even if you're just whatever season you're in in your walk with Christ, and whether it's through marriage or if you're single, like if you're just living your day-to-day life, you won't be fearful or anxious when that heat comes because your life source is right there with you. You're planted within that.

SPEAKER_00 7:51

And I think that as I was I was actually thinking this morning about this episode we were gonna do, and and um I was just thinking about the difference in where you are in motherhood and where I am in motherhood. And I tried not to start crying because I cried this morning, but because I just think about my kids growing up, and but what I was thinking was you there is so much more that you're going to learn. So when your children are little, you you love them and you protect them, and then as they become a little bit older, but they're still under your care, you know, you can set rules for them. If they want to go to a party or a friend's house that you're not comfortable with, you can say no, and you can still control their actions in a way. Not not that we're to be controlling, but you know, control their actions because you're their parent and they're under your authority then. Um, and I will just say, as they become adults, it is your trust in the Lord will have to grow a lot because right now your kids will still make choices, but you can't tell them yes or no anymore. And you have to put all trust in the Lord to take care of them. And we we we trust in the Lord to take care of our children when they're little too. But the point I'm trying to make is when they're little, they're under our authority also. And we can make, you know, no, you're not going there. We can protect them in a way. When they're adults, they don't listen to everything you have to say, or even, or sometimes we can't say things. So I have to do a lot of praying, of asking the Lord when to give advice and when not to, because we our children grow up, they get married, we give them away, and you know, they become one with their husband and they have their own children. But I've just learned a lot these past couple of years about my trust in the Lord has just, and really it's a good thing because you learn how to trust the Lord so much more because you don't have that control at all. You you cannot use your control at all. They're going to make their own choices and you just have to trust him. They are yours, Father. Please protect them, guide them, open their eyes and ears to the light and what's right. And and um, so I know you're not at that path yet because you're, I mean, I know you have to trust the Lord with your children, but you're still where you can help them make their decisions for them. And that's and I will have to say, everyone says, I can't wait to get these kids raised, but I think it's easier when they're little. A lot easier when they're little. But but it it really is, it's a really good thing because your trust in the Lord is growing and your relationship, your faith in him is growing more, and it teaches you that more and more and more.

SPEAKER_01 10:24

So yeah, that's right. Yeah, because my kids are six and under, so I definitely can keep them in the home if I want. We don't do sleepovers, we don't do stuff like that. Like when they're 18, I can't be like, no, you can't go stay. Like, I can still give my voice, but I can't actually keep them at home.

SPEAKER_00 10:39

And I had a friend tell me one time, whenever you girls and Cody were littler, um, her kids were a little bit older, and she had some adults, and she told me, she said, when they get, she said, and I was like, Oh, this is so rough. They're teenagers and they're she's like, I really hate to tell you this, but when they become adults, it becomes harder. I was like, What are you talking about? They're gonna be out, I don't have to worry about them no more. Oh no, I understand what she is saying.

SPEAKER_01 11:03

Yeah, and then that's when you have to go back to when the Bible says raise the child up in the way that they should go and will not depart. Yes. And so just having the trust of even if it was just a little bit, just what was deposited in them, what you did with Christ, that they're gonna come back to it. Because I know that happened for me. Like as a kid, I mean, I was saved around eight years old and everything. And so, like when I got as a teenager, it was slipping away, but then I came back to roots. I didn't completely depart from it, and that was a different season of your life of trusting in the Lord and some other things that I had remembered as a kid when we would we would always eat at the table for dinner, and that was one of my favorite times, even though I was the slowest eater, I was the last one always there, but we were always so excited right after dinner to go outside and we'd be playing kickball or wiffle ball or just whatever it was as a family, because we always, even if it wasn't our family, we always had people at our house. So, you know, we had enough for some softball teams out there, and so we would go outside, and I remember as kids would always be like, All right, mom, like leave the dishes, it'll be fine, you can come on, like just just worry about that later, it'll be okay. But then as I became a mom, I remember one day I was actually washing the dishes, and the Lord was showing me different things and like see now, like this is your time to take care of your family. Like, don't, of course, don't like prioritize your home over your family, right? But also, like, this is what she was doing. She was doing this because she loves you guys. She was making sure that everything was in order, that everything was prepared for your next day. And we joke about it now, but I remember every morning we would have our search bowls on the counter. So, and so we're like, well, why does she stay up to do all this as kids? But now it's like, oh, she did that because she loves us. And she did that so everything was in order and there wasn't chaos in the home, and she took care of us, and so now as I'm walking through that season with small kids, I'm able to prepare my home and learning that and understanding more.

SPEAKER_00 13:05

We don't understand things till we're through them ourselves. Like as a child, you didn't understand why I was trying to take care of the home instead of out there. But now that you're in that situation, you do, and I feel like it's the same way with our walk with Christ. There's things people tell us, but when we're not in that place or that season, we don't we don't understand what they're talking about because that's not where we are. But once we get there, they're like, we're like, oh, I get it now. I understand.

SPEAKER_01 13:30

So sorry, we shouldn't complain or worry or be anxious of that. We should just trust in it. And I always say now that like when mom was doing those things when we were side. Oh, and to clarify, she would always come out as soon as she was done taking care of the home. She would always come out, even if she was too tired to play, she at least made sure she was out there cheering us on and doing whatever it was. So it wasn't like, nope, I'm done for the night. That's not what it was like. And so I always say, Yep, mom was taking care of business. And so, like, that's what I say with the Lord too, is whenever you do feel like you're in those lonely seasons and you're like, Well, come on, Lord, like let's go do these things and stuff, but you don't hear a response or you're in those deep moments. Well, the Lord's just taking care of business. That's right, that's right. That's great. Yeah, that's really, really good. And so I've realized too that like where are you at, Lord?

SPEAKER_00 14:20

Yeah, and he's taking care of business, he's got a plan and he's he's he's going on his butt but we don't always know that. That's that's really good.

SPEAKER_01 14:27

Yeah, that's because there are quiet seasons, and just like we said earlier, you have to trust in the words that he's given you before. And if he has given you words either through people or dreams or visions or whatever it is in your prayer time, write it down so you don't forget, because we are humans and we will forget. And so to remain upon those words and go through those dry, lonely seasons, that's a good way. Just pray those words out loud that you know have been given to you.

SPEAKER_00 14:53

Yes, I agree. And um, something that was kind of revealed to me is, you know, as we become, because I know I look back and I did the best that I knew how to do raising you girls whenever I was doing it and raising Cody. And I did, but I look back now, and there's a lot of things I wished could have been done differently, but I didn't know that then. At the time I was doing what I knew. Now I've learned a lot of things, even things about things I let you guys watch on TV. At the time, I didn't, I didn't realize the open doors that could allow for fear and other things, you know. And um I I had a lot of regrets about that, but then I realized we all are in a learning season, and you don't know how to be a mom until you become a mom. Yep. You don't know how to be a teenage mom until you become a teenage mom. You don't know how to be a, I mean the mom of a teenager, right? And you don't know how to be the mother of adults till you so what I know now about you guys' childhood, I didn't know then.

SPEAKER_02 15:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 15:51

And now I'm in this learning process of being a mother to adults. And you know what? Later on, I'm gonna know how that was because I'm gonna get through that, you know, through that part of it. But you don't know until you until you know because you've been through it. And the same with Christianity. Um, we learn as we go. We're always growing, we're always learning more.

SPEAKER_01 16:11

That's right.

SPEAKER_00 16:12

We can't go back, but we can always move forward, just like when when you raise your children. I can't go back and change any of the wrong choices that I may have made raising you guys, but I can teach you guys with your children. That's right. Because now I do know and I've learned so much more about so much with Christianity. Because I mean, I raised you kids to love Jesus and know Jesus and and you know, we went to church on on different occasions and stuff, but I just didn't know the in-depth.

SPEAKER_02 16:37

Yep.

SPEAKER_00 16:38

And and that's what I think about with Christianity. People are like, well, why are why are we here and why are they there? Because we're on, there's different levels, different seasons, and people are learning at different different paces. Or, or why is God doing this for them and he's not doing this for me? Which goes to with also, that's another subject with children. If you have multiple, if you have one, this probably probably wouldn't pertain to you, but if you have more than one child, each child's personality is different, each child acts different, and they're on different levels with things. So, although we love our children the same, there may be different ways we have to treat a different child, or they may have different needs. And it's the same with the children of God. That's right. Just because this person's getting this or doing this, that's not what God's dealing with them at the time. And um, that's a struggle too, because I used to think what you do for one child, you do for all the children. But honestly, I think my opinion on that's changed because I think it has to do, we love our children the same, we don't favor one child over the other, but our children are in different spots in their life, and um, and you have to do according to where they are in their life.

SPEAKER_01 17:50

So they have different strengths, they have different weaknesses, different personalities, different like mine are three years apart, so different ages, and you have to go according to that. And I'm sitting here and mom's starting to talk, and I go, Well, I might start crying now. Because at the at the right before we started, I was like, the Lord showed me a lot in this episode last night that I was just bawling and stuff, but I couldn't remember right before we started. And then mom prayed over it, and then she started to step into it, and I was like, Oh, thank you, Holy Spirit, because he's bringing it back. It was about how whenever, like she said, there's more and more seasons, she didn't know certain things to teach us kids growing up. Just as when you first get saved, I feel like the most of the American Christianity culture is you get saved, good job, you get to go to heaven. And so the way I imagined it as a kid was like okay, you said Jesus is my Lord and Savior, let's go do this thing. I can live my life however I want, good to go. But that is a lie from the enemy. And I would imagine, like, okay, after I die, it's like how people kind of imagine like Santa Claus. Like, all right, let's check the list real quick. You gotta check all right. Yeah, not your nice list. But that is such a lie from the enemy. There is so much more to it, and yes, you can just be safe and live a terrible, miserable life here on earth and get to heaven one day.

SPEAKER_00 19:10

And just try to be a person.

SPEAKER_01 19:14

Or you can continue to learn season through season through season and increasing, like you said, you didn't know all the shows to keep us away from because of the things that it opened. You didn't know. So don't be ignorant because ignorance is not bliss. It only keeps you in more bondage and fear and anxiety and depression and all these terrible things. But that is not who God has called you to be. He calls you a warrior. You have to go out and fight and prepare for battle because it's not easy. But you are able to walk after salvation and be able to go fight against the enemy with the peace of God. And you don't have to live that terrible life. You're just, did I make the nice list? Yeah. Like you actually get to have a relationship with the Father. It's not just all right, nice to see you today. Have a good day. It's you actually get that good connection.

SPEAKER_00 20:03

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 20:04

And it just the more that I learn, I realize that the less I actually know. So I don't know if you know this with like your different you probably do with your different seasons of us kids growing up and stuff. But like I feel like I'm doing a good job as a mom, but then I always check myself with my mom. I'm like, hey, so I think I'm doing pretty good, but these things are not going right within my household. Like the kids are completely different, and I don't know how to go about this. And so I'll ask mom for advice, and she'll give me that honest advice. She goes, You want the truth? I'm like, Well, I want you a lot of me. So I prepare myself too, no matter how hard it is to hear. I need that honest wisdom and knowledge and advice to be raising my kids better, and that the next generation has a double portion, just like Elijah and Elisha. Um, they got a double portion after Elijah went up to heaven. So that's what I want for my kids too. I'm gonna take those hard truths, be be willing to be teachable and the Lord has to take constructive criticism. Yeah, that's the word.

SPEAKER_00 21:10

There's so many people they kind of want advice. Some people just don't want advice because they don't want to hear it, and then some people do, but then if you don't tell them what they want to hear or anything that they feel like is criticizing them, they're like, Well, that's not, you know, that's not true, that's not right, or they they take offense to it. Yeah, you have to have an open mind. And and I know with my children, if they ask me something, if I tell them something, it is never to hurt them or criticize them, ever. It is only to help them because I have been through some of those things and I don't want to see them have to go down wrong paths or wrong roads and get the hurt.

SPEAKER_02 21:45

That's right.

SPEAKER_00 21:45

But never, ever would I do it to cut now. I do think there are people out there, I'm not saying mothers, but just people that they do tell people things just to hurt them or make them feel bad about their self. But my love for my children is not like that, and I would never. Do that. So if I ever, you know, told somebody something, it's truly just to help them.

SPEAKER_01 22:05

And maybe so, mom, she's my best friend. She's the one that I go to for advice and stuff. If you maybe you're raising children and you want advice, but you have like a toxic relationship with your mother, or you don't have anyone else, take it to the Lord, He'll give you that advice. But you have to be willing to, what was it you said? What's the word? About being yeah, constructive criticism. I keep forgetting this. My goodness. But so you have to be willing to take that in and that just find someone that you trust that will actually tell you the truth, not what you want to hear, because that will not help you and you will not grow and it will probably get worse.

SPEAKER_00 22:40

Yeah. And as a a mother of adult children, I now used to, I just be off of advice, whatever came to my mind and was my opinion. But I have really learned to pray about it and make sure I am giving biblical advice now instead of just my opinion. Because my opinion is my my children are always right and they do no wrong, and this is what they need to do. You know, I just need to tell them. But I I want to just be sure whatever I'm telling them, even if it, even if it disagrees with what my flesh is wanting to say, if it's from what the Lord, that that it's it's biblical advice. And because I know with biblical advice and what the Holy Spirit says, you can't go wrong. Things are gonna work out.

SPEAKER_01 23:19

And that's what I say by that's what I mean when I say speak truth to them. Don't just say facts, because there can be facts in a situation, but the truth is the word of God. So make sure you're giving them that. And anyways, I was trying to remember the constructive criticism phrase. I can't remember that for some reason, because the Lord was showing me too that whenever I didn't have a close relationship with him during softball, I was always willing to learn. I was always willing to lay down my pride and be able to, oh yeah, that ball went between my legs. I'll admit that. And even though like anger and stuff would flare up in that time, I was always willing to go to whatever coach or whatever parent or whoever to be able to help build me up. And if I was willing to do that for softball, then I'd be willing to do that for the kingdom of God.

SPEAKER_00 24:03

And for motherhood.

SPEAKER_01 24:04

And for motherhood.

SPEAKER_00 24:05

Why, why do we take such offense to someone trying to give us advice for how to be a good mother? I mean, Christian, someone, not just anybody giving you advice, but you know, and I know sometimes we uh we all think we have, especially when we're young, we think we have it all figured out, and oh my mama don't know, or my grandma don't know, or my friend, you know, whatever. But but yes, they know, they know. My mama knew too. And I remember the first time you talked about things that were revealed to you with me. Um, I remember the first time that I think my eyes truly opened to because as a teenager, I was kind of honre and and rebellious. And I mean, I've always loved my mama. She's been a great mom, but there was times I didn't like her very much because she didn't let me do what I wanted to do, or she didn't, and I just didn't understand. In my teenage mind, I thought she's trying to control me or keep me from the fun or keep me, you know. But I remember when I had my first daughter, Kinzie, I just remember she was maybe just a few days old. But it took that experience opening. I never thought about it before. Even when I grew up and became which I got married young too, but became a wife, still never thought, oh, my mom didn't do all that because she was just trying to be mean or trying to keep me from the fun and wanted me to be, you know. But when I had McKinsey one night, I was laying there and I was holding her and I looked down at her and I just was so in love with her. You know, that that love just came natural. And my mama popped in my mind, and I thought, how did I ever not like my mom for wanting to protect me? But it was the first time it was ever revealed to me she was wanting to protect me. She wasn't trying to be mean or treat me like that's right, evil stepdaughter, Cinderella, or anything like that. She just wanted to protect me because she loved me so much. And guess who wants to protect us? Because they love us so much. But it took me having my own child before I realized that. It just never, I truly, as a teenager, thought she's just being mean to me. But when I when I fell in love with my own child, then, you know, I just and I called my mom and I was like, I am so sorry. You know, I did not realize until I had my own baby that the love that you have for your child and it's for protection. So, all you teenagers out there, if anyone is listening, your parents do love you. They are making rules and setting boundaries because they love you.

SPEAKER_01 26:26

That's right.

SPEAKER_00 26:26

And that's the same as what God does for us.

SPEAKER_01 26:29

I remember like mom and I having these terrible arguments, like when I was a teenager too, and that's what I think. Oh, she just doesn't get it. Well, why did I not think my mom was a teenager once too, you know? And so just for some like advice too. If you I mean, you could probably speak on this more because I haven't been there yet, but about raising teenagers, and whenever they are in that my mom doesn't love me, and like all that stuff, the only thing you can correct is with the truth, with the word of God, and knowing that that season is hard, um, and you may feel like rejection or loneliness or whatever it is, but know that you came out of that season as a teenager once too. Yes, and that as like a grandma with you putting in those words and protecting you, like they will come back, and it's okay. So I didn't know if you had anything else to add to that.

SPEAKER_00 27:24

Um, well, and this don't really, I mean, one thing that I did learn, and I can't go back and change it, but with with you guys being teenagers, there was times that well, like Madison was on our podcast last week and she said some of the things she struggled through through her teenage years. I thought she was just being a teenager. One thing that, you know, would have been different with me because I've learned now, is you know, parents and teenagers, they butt heads sometimes. And I would just think she was being a teenager. I knew she wasn't acting quite right, that she was angry and she seemed not my happy Madison anymore. And little did I know all the stuff she was going through, because teenagers don't like to open up to their parents so much. And I don't wish that I would have pushed, like just push, push, push, but instead of just be like, okay, you don't want to talk to me, whatever. Just sit in your room all day. Because that's kind of how the point that I would get, because I didn't realize the seriousness of it. I thought they were just being teenagers and they were just going through their mood things, you know. So that's something I want to encourage people that if you see a change in your teenager, yes, teenagers do change. They're growing up, their hormones are different, all that. But let them know how much you love them because I would get frustrated and I'm just be like, okay, if you want to sit in your room, then sit in your room, you know. I love you. Bye. But I wished I would have not sit in there in pride and just pushed, because sometimes they don't like that too, but just said, hey, I don't know if something's going on with you, but I want you to know that I love you. I am here for you. God is always here for you. And if you want to open up, I am here to open up for you to open up to. But I didn't, I would just get frustrated because I thought they were just being hormonal teenagers and just wanted to sit in the room and distance ourselves from them. I didn't realize the seriousness of it. And now that I look back, because I know now how important it is. And I mean, my kids always knew I loved them.

SPEAKER_02 29:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 29:11

But but we just normalize that teenagers will be teenagers and parents are just like, whatever.

SPEAKER_01 29:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 29:16

Don't, don't, whatever you're teenagers. No, because they need you. But do it with love. Don't do it out of screaming or yelling or just getting annoyed with them and ignoring them and be like, oh, they'll come out or they'll get over it when they want to get over it. Because if their whole personality changes and their attitude, there's probably something going on.

SPEAKER_02 29:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 29:33

But I have I learned that. And I can't go back and change that, but I did learn that. And with my girls, I found if I pushed, excuse me, if I pushed too much, that just made them angry. But I wasn't going in there and being like, I just want you to know. I mean, I always told them I loved him, but it was more like, tell me what is wrong. What is going on with you? And it was more that tone of voice, and I've learned that it could have been different, but I didn't know at the time.

SPEAKER_01 29:57

You didn't know. And that's the thing too, is if you're in that, if you're already like out of the raising young children and teenagers and they are grown and stuff, and you didn't know, don't feel that shame for that. And it's coming back now. I was gonna say it earlier, but I forgot. Was whenever you're thinking back and you are having that regret, but you're in a different season of parenthood, whether it's teenagers, adult, whatever season that is, you can't stay in that season of regret because then you're gonna miss the season that you're in, and then you're gonna be regretting that season that you're in. Yes. And so instead of oh poor pitiful me, like I should have done that better, and like that was awful, that's why they're these crazy kids they are now, and stuff. Like, don't do that. Yes, own up to your mistake because when you don't own up to your mistake, Satan will use that against you. So true repentance. You own up to your mistake, be like, Lord, I did my best with what I knew, but I didn't know, and repent, bring it to the feet of Jesus, and he will heal you and he will forgive you. Yes, and you go better throughout your season after that. Like you can't just stay there, and that's with anything too, like not just like your Christianity. Not Christianity.

SPEAKER_00 31:09

When we mess up, sometimes we feel like, oh, we've messed up, we made a mistake, we're done.

SPEAKER_01 31:14

It wasn't perfect.

SPEAKER_00 31:14

Jesus given up on us, and no, we just learn and we ask forgiveness. We don't live in that shame and guilt.

SPEAKER_01 31:20

That's right. You have to continue to push forward because if you're just stuck there, then you're gonna stay stuck there, and then you're gonna go backwards, and then you're gonna be isolated, and then just the snowball effect, and it doesn't work right.

SPEAKER_00 31:30

That's right.

SPEAKER_01 31:30

And you have to find people too in motherhood that like we touched base on it earlier, someone that you can trust that will tell you the truth and help you with your kids. Even if you're just like, I need like a 15-minute shower. Yes. Like I just need to, even if it's I have three baskets of laundry, if you just take the kids for like 45 minutes, just something, okay? And just some someone that you can trust with your kids. And you got anything else?

SPEAKER_00 32:01

Um, well, I did want to say, since we're comparing, you know, motherhood to our Christianity and God, and I want each and every mother out there right now, if you if you are a mother, think about how much you love your kids and what you would do for your kids. And I know it's very hard to imagine because in my mind, I think no one loves, not even your father, I not even your dad. I feel like no one could love my children the way that I love them. And I feel like there is nothing early that I wouldn't do for them as long as it was biblical because I'm not gonna commit any crimes for them or anything. And Jesus loves them more. He loves you more than I do. That's right. And he would protect and and I I think there was a time I did, I thought, nope, even Jesus, because my love for you guys was just so much. And so I just want you guys to know he loves your children more and he loves you more. So imagine, like, truly think about the love you have for your kids and what you would do to protect them and do for them. And his love is more than that.

SPEAKER_02 33:05

Yep.

SPEAKER_00 33:05

I just want people to really, I know people say it all the time. Oh, Jesus loves you more than they do, but I want you to really think about that because it was hard for me to imagine that someone could love my child or love me more than more than I love them. Or, but he he truly, truly does.

SPEAKER_01 33:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 33:22

I mean, truly does. And that's why I mean he died on that cross for them. He took it, we he took a beating like none of us could ever imagine. And so I just want people to think about that. That he no matter how much you love your children, he he just he just loves so much.

SPEAKER_01 33:39

Yes, and that's just the that's how you know too, that like those moments when you would come address us, girls, like, tell me what's going on. Like he loves us so much that we can actually put that trust in him with our children instead of trying to take control of the situation ourselves, we can pray over the situation and go to our children out of love and guidance from the Lord and know that since he loves your child more than you, like he's f your children are from the Lord, they are a blessing and a heritage from the Lord. So whenever you begin to trust in him with that, know that that situation is gonna be taken care of instead of you trying to take control of that situation.

SPEAKER_00 34:19

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 34:19

And I remember our like conversations as kids, we would always play like the games of like, oh, are you gonna come to mom? Are you gonna come to dad? Or like you gonna choose a dog? And like we like play like these wrestle games and stuff, and they were so much fun. But I remember our conversations and like we just didn't know. It was like, oh yeah, mom and dad love you so much, and the Lord loves you too. I don't this is how it was said. I don't know how he could love you more, but I know he does. And so in that, it was like putting a seat of doubt, right? Not even realizing that it was a seat of doubt. And so just like from growing up, things that I've looked back on and what I want to do different in my kids is like truly letting them know, like, listen, you're a blessing to me from the Lord, you are f completely from him, and I'm just here to raise you and train you as his mighty warriors and bring you back to him. Yes, so I can't he has trusted in me to raise you guys. Yes, like that's crazy for me to think about. I was thinking about it last night, and humans and all mankind have sinned in some sort of way. We born in a sinful nature, and whenever he gives us his children, he's like, Listen, I knew that you were gonna screw up, I knew you were gonna make these mistakes, I knew you were gonna curse my name sometimes, whatever it was. But I'm gonna trust you to raise these children and bring them back to me. And so something I like to do with my kids every night, and they they like to make it like who can answer the questions first. But I always tell them right before prayer, I go, I need you guys to know that I will always love you, and I do love you. Your daddy loves the both of you very much. Sissy, your Bubba loves you. Because a lot of people are like, oh, siblings bigger, they fight, they're no, they don't have to be friends. No, they they can help each other in the kingdom of God. So, sissy, your Bubba loves you. Bubba, your sissy loves you. But I need you guys to tell me something very important who loves you the most. And they both race for it. They're like, God, God, God. That is awesome. So they they like that little competitiveness too. But so it's just reminding them every single night before they go to sleep that, oh, I belong to someone else. Like they're here to help us and they love us, and even they can't understand, they've asked me too, how can God love me more than you love me? I said, Son, I don't understand it myself, but I know that his word is true, and that's that's what he says. Like, so we're just gonna trust in him with that. And so we really like our bedtime routines. If there's something that you guys can do with your kids, no matter what their age, even if they think you're weird, even if they think, because my kids definitely think I'm weird, or even if they think, uh, this again, are you serious? Because I haven't hit that teenager face, but my six-year-old can give some sass, okay?

SPEAKER_00 36:58

Yeah, he already is starting to think his GG is not so cool anymore.

SPEAKER_01 37:02

Yeah, what's up with that? But we know that he loves us and he doesn't always show it like he used to when he was three. But so if you can establish something that is a routine with them, that they are reminded every single day that they are children of God, that they they know who God is and not just Jesus loves me, this I know, like that they truly know all the aspects of God. And when they learn that, they will begin to learn and you teach them who they are in Christ. Because if you don't teach them, then when they get to that teenager phase, they're gonna go to the world. The world will teach them, yes, and they will be friends with that mindset. And so you may think, Well, I don't want to shelter them. Well, I don't want to keep them, you know, in my tiny little Christian bubble. Well, why not? Why not? If only you would deposit those things in your children because they will go searching no matter what. So if only you can deposit those truths within them, no matter what age they're at. Start start today because the world's the world, the uh Lord's word will remain with them no matter how late you think you start. Well, you know, they're 16, I can't do that. No, no, no. I needed those words when I was 16. If only someone was bold enough, not even like within my family, but a stranger. I didn't have, like we talked about, the most conviction I felt with someone that wasn't even saved that came to me and said, Are you I thought you were a Christian? So be bold, especially with your children.

SPEAKER_00 38:31

The Lord has trusted you with this and learn, learn from the Lord along the way.

SPEAKER_01 38:34

That's right.

SPEAKER_00 38:35

Because that's what this was really all about is what you learn through motherhood, like the things that the Lord can open your eyes to and that that you see. So learn and listen. I mean, you can't learn unless you listen. So listen to what he's telling you. And and even like like I said, I got conviction about the things I thought about my own mother as a teenager, and I apologize. So if he opens your eyes through being a mom of ways you treated your own mother, go to her, apologize, tell her you love her, you know, because I'm sure she knows you love her, but I'm sure it hurt when you were treating her a certain way. That's right. So just learn along the way. But the main point is you don't know until you know.

SPEAKER_02 39:13

That's right.

SPEAKER_00 39:14

And in motherhood, in being a Christian, there's different seasons and you're learning as you go. But my goal is, and I think they're already there, is that my children and my grandchildren will learn at a younger age how to be the mother that they need to be, to where I didn't learn a lot of things until I was older about the Christianity aspect. And so the younger they can implant it in their children, the better. So anyway, but um, well, we will be back in um couple weeks. We'll be releasing another episode.

SPEAKER_01 39:47

We're we're eventually going to get to where we're really starting.

SPEAKER_00 39:49

We are. We've had a few people ask us if we could release weekly instead of bi-weekly, and it's not that we don't want to, we really enjoy doing it. And but there is some work that goes into it. And Chloe has children, and yes, of course, we can't record with children in here straight. And so it has to be when she can. Um, her husband, you know, works nights and then he has to sleep during the daylight. So it has to be on one of his days off to be able to watch the kids for a couple hours so that we can record. So it's just getting around to finding the time to record more often with her schedule with the kids. I'm sure her daughter would love to be in here with us because she would she was in here the other day playing around and we've got a little recording. We may release it on our page one day.

SPEAKER_01 40:26

We can post that sometime.

SPEAKER_00 40:28

She's pretty funny. She's our future generations of grace podcaster, but it's already in the making. Um, but we are eventually going to try to get to where we release every week, but right now, just trying to keep up with enough recording.

SPEAKER_01 40:40

Like we said, we know the we know the basics, the bare minimum of like how to actually release podcasts. We have lots of revelation from the Lord. Yeah. It takes time, it takes preparation, it takes prayer, it takes babysitters. It does. And it takes it takes an army to do things.

SPEAKER_00 40:54

And um we it'll be a surprise what we speak about next time. We are instead of just jumping to what we want to do, we're trying to take time to pray on what the Lord wants us to do. But uh just for future reference, if anyone has anything specific they might ever want us to talk about or cover, like a subject or or a teaching on something, they can always post it on our page or or message us and just ask us, hey, we would like for you guys to discuss this or do a teaching on that because we're open to what other people would like to learn about or are interested in or whatever.

SPEAKER_01 41:27

So I got one more thing before we wrap it up. It just came back to me. It was about when you're in motherhood and you may have some struggles with your husband, with your children, with your family, whatever it may be. Please note that you don't have to just vent or rant to make yourself feel better. Because the Bible says that those who vent are foolish, but those who keep silent are wise. And so know too that well, if I just say this, I'll feel so much better. But you don't, you're only speaking into death of what's going on over your situation. If you're just speaking on it, just to have someone agree with you, make you feel better, move on, that will not help you at all. At all. But if you're speaking and you're seeking that counseling, yeah, then that is truly asking for help. But I just wanted to put that out there because that's something that I've learned a lot too. Is with your husband or your children or whatever is going on, you can't just invent to feel better that the world has normalized. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 42:22

Would you like to close this in prayer?

SPEAKER_01 42:24

Yes, I would. Lord, we thank you for this blessed morning that we're in, Lord. And I just thank you that you're teaching each and every one of us how to walk through different seasons of life, whether it's through just becoming a teenager or coming out of being a teenager or walking into motherhood or marriage or through your workplace and our walk with you, God, whatever season that is that you've put us in, know that we're not alone and we don't have to rely upon the world's words of what they say about us, Lord, but we can truly rely upon what you say about us, to put our faith and our trust in you, that you begin to reveal more things throughout their motherhood, Father, that they can learn that if I have pride and to knock it down, knock those walls down where they can repent and truly come to you and be able to trust you with their children, that they belong to you, Lord. I thank you, Lord, that you guide each and every step as they walk, Lord, that you have called them and their children and their entire family to higher things and higher callings that they can't understand and they may feel uncomfortable. But until you draw them in that season, Lord, they just have to completely put their faith and trust in you and your word and who you are. And just when they get to that season where they are able to understand, just let them have true revelation and knowledge of who you are and that who they are in you, Lord. And that they are able to teach the next generation to have a double portion and a triple portion and just continue to grow that everything put upon their family. It doesn't have to be normalized, that it is broken off in your name, Jesus Christ. That It doesn't have to continue down that it stops with them. And even through the being weird or called out or set apart or different or whatever it is that they may be called, Lord, they know that they can trust in you and that they can be different according to your word in Jesus' name.