Self Worth and Identity

Welcome back to today's episode about your self worth. What does it mean to be a child of God? Do you have to struggle with thoughts about yourself everyday? How do I trust God with my emotions VS believing every feeling. Listen to this episode to answer these questions and help guide you in the right direction to better understand who you are as a child of God. You are not alone! 

Please subscribe to receive notifications of future episodes and leave a comment and/or review. You can find us online on Facebook and Instagram.

Music by Mikhail Smusev

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:21

Hey guys, welcome back to Generations of Grace podcast. Uh so like I said to uh on the last episode, mom's taking a little break for a little while, so I actually have a fill-in today, and Maddie is going to be joining us. My twin, if you've heard our previous episode, awesome, you know a little bit about our testimony. If not, I encourage you to go back to it. It's over a lot of fear, anxiety, worrisome, and how the Lord has set her free of all that. And so today we want to talk a lot about our identity in Christ, our self-worth, and that we don't deserve what Christ has done for us, but he did it for us anyway because he loves you so much. And so we're just gonna try to touch base on that. And so, Maddie, what were some of the things that you grew up with about your identity in Christ? What are some lies that you heard, or how to fix those lies, or just what did you think about yourself as a whole and view the world? Yeah, so um, hi everybody again. I'm happy to be back. Um yeah, so um, but yeah, so growing up, I felt like I was like a young child, so like preteen childhood years, everything was rainbow and sunshine. Yeah, just raised in a church. Uh love my my parents love me. They've always been together. I got amazing siblings. Um, it's just really good. I like I was just like, life's good, I'm good, I'm happy to always dance all the time and sing and just kind of hang out and live life. American dream. American dream, you know, just everything's happy dandy here. Yes. Oh yeah, oh yeah. And like it was always good, but then like I don't know, just growing up, everything was just if any mild hard times would come or like weird feelings of just like sadness or something sad would like a family number would pass away or something, or just something like that. I wouldn't really know what to do with those feelings. Yeah, you know, and so I feel like I'd be in this battle of like one day I'd be okay, but then the next day I'd be like, I have all these feelings, I don't know what to do with them. Right, you know. So it was like the Bible tells us that our identity is in him and how to handle it with him, and he gives us Holy Spirit to help us fix that. But for you and then me too, it we took it as what's going on around us. Yeah, our personality and our happiness and our joy was based off of what was happening to us, worldly things and what was going on. Because even those things, like Holy Spirit and everything, that was stuff that just existed in the Bible. Like we knew it was real and we knew like it was like available to us, but we didn't really know how or what exactly all that entailed. We just knew Jesus loved us. Right. Jesus loves me, this I know, for the Bible tells me so, you know. I thought I think for me, and you may know it too, but it was like it was just gonna randomly happen one day. Yeah, and everything was just gonna click rather than seeing when Moses went to the burning bush, there was preparation within that. There was a whole plan before he was running, but also he was taking steps and walking in obedience to the Lord, and it wasn't just a random, oh, I'm gonna go see what's going on over there. Like there was actual preparation in it. I think we just always read those, read what was in the Bible as, well, that just, you know, coincidentally just happened one day. But I don't believe in coincidences, and it was all made for a purpose, and we just thought And they worked towards like going towards the Lord, you know, like constantly working and praying in private time, reading the word, following the commandment, like all the things trying to go towards closer to Him. When growing up, we were kind of taught in a way to where it was like, Oh, you know, these miraculous Bible book stories that might just randomly happen to you one day. But other than that, you know, if Jesus loves you, that's yeah we got. You know, we didn't realize there was tolls and stuff. Yeah, I viewed it also as like a lifeguard and just throwing the what's the life saving thingy, whatever that's called. That lifeguards you, yeah, yeah. So it's like that will just happen if you start drowning, but we were drowning all the time and we never saw the the little rescue buoy or whatever it was. The only time we talked to God is if we were in trouble and we were like, okay, why aren't you helping me instead of having that relationship? He was definitely a last resort growing up, but it's because we didn't really know who he was. And so, how are we supposed to stand firm on who he calls us to be and what he says about us if we don't even know who he is? Yes. We knew of him. Yeah. So then, like growing up, so like childhood years, pretty good, pretty great. Small things would happen, like a family member would pass away, and I'd be like, Well, I'm kinda sad, and I don't really know what to do with that, but it wasn't a huge deal. And then teenage years, um we had both been assaulted before, but um sorry, I don't know if you touched base. I did, it's all good. Okay, okay. I don't care if you say it either. Yeah, yeah. Um, but yeah, we'd both been assaulted, and then we started dealing with all the hormones of teenage years and going through pure beautiful time. Uh being nervous in a public high school and middle school and just all the normal, normal teenage worldly emotions and feelings and thoughts that you would typically have. And then just I think the biggest thing was just not knowing that not knowing what to do with those things. Right. Because like your hormones changing as a teenager, obviously, that's just part of being a human. Yeah. But the anxiety that comes with it and the anger and the depression, the suicidal ideations, the being boy crazy, that's not normal. No, and so if you are worldly, it's normal, right? Physically, humanly, it's normal. Yeah, but that doesn't mean we have to accept that. Right. That's what we really want to touch base here is if you have gone through those things, or you are currently going through those things, or you're younger than that, and you're like, man, these girls are pretty cool, you know. Let's learn about Jesus. It's like, don't accept what the world tells you is normal. Yes. So obviously the Lord made our bodies in a certain way to grow in all these things, but you don't have to place your identity in all those things I mentioned a minute ago: anger, depression, suicidal ideas, anxiety. That's not normal. And Christ gives you tools to stand on this rock. Yes, you can love yourself. Don't in a non-selfish way. Yes. So it's don't take it to the extreme of self-love and you're your own idol and you're your own God, because that can very easily happen. Yes. But also know you're not a piece of poo. Yeah. Like, yeah. What are some things that you remind yourself daily to remind yourself that you are a child of God, that you're not a piece of crap, that or some things that you can think of as growing as a teenager. Like I know me, I was like, I was big people pleaser. Yeah. And so it was, oh, well, it's okay if I feel terrible. And how do I put this? That's how I read the Bible of loving your neighbor as yourself. It was I will let them treat me however the heck I want. Yes. No matter if that makes me depressed or angry or all these things, so that they can remain happy. But that there's a difference in that versus knowing your identity, you don't have to be abused. Right. Yeah, that's abuse. Like to be, you don't have to be a people pleaser. So you don't have to be a people pleaser. You don't have to just let people walk all over you however you want, because Jesus. A big thing we need, we need to get to a point to where no matter what anyone does around us or does to us, no matter how minor or evil it is, like any scale, we need to get to a point to where it doesn't matter. I got the Lord inside of me. So no matter what happens to me physically or emotionally here on earth, I'm gonna be okay. Yeah. Because I went through all the suicide, depression, I'd hurt myself all the time. I tried to take my life a couple times, and I just look back and I'm like, Maddie, you're so silly. Like, no, I used to think to myself I was silly in like a really, really bad negative way. But now I'm just like, oh, now now it's like a minor silly. Like, you're just so silly. Like the Lord loves you so much. Why would you harm? Like, I don't think, I don't think anyone, I think we would just die if we tried to comprehend this, but like, I don't think anyone can comprehend how much the Lord truly loves you and how beautiful he thinks you is. Like, I know it's a verse, I don't know if you know the verse, Chole, please let me know. Sorry, I call her Choli, not Chloe. I'll explain that so far. Um, if you know the verse, please let me know. But um, the Lord created the animals and the plants on the earth to take care of themselves on the daily. And think of like your favorite animal, or there's just the most beautiful thing in nature you've seen, whether that's the ocean or a mountain view or a sunset. Mind sunsets personally, that I just I almost tear up at them. But, anyways, think of the most pictures of a sunset tonight. And I was like, I think there's a rainbow in that one, and it was so pretty and beautiful. But think of the most beautiful thing you can imagine, whether it's a certain animal or a nature thing or whatever it may be, and just think God thinks and thinks of so much more of you and loves you so much more and thinks you are the most beautiful, precious thing on earth compared to that most beautiful thing that you think of on earth, you know? Like we I it makes me want to cry. Yeah, we're just like we can't comprehend it, right? He is he thinks of you so much that he made this entire earth, like you were saying, of all the most beautiful, amazing things out there, and he chose humans to create in his image. Guys, he's God. Yeah, have you comprehended that? He decided to make people in his very image, and he is God. That doesn't make you God, yes, but like he wants that relationship with you that he made you like that to be able to have that relationship. And so if you think you're a pile of poo, let's go to the word and just see what he says about you. And I don't know if you knew this or not. Well, like dad, he just planted all those sunflowers out in the field, and sunflowers actually they face they like face the sun, face the sun. And so if you look at different things on the earth, they're made to worship God. Yeah, whether you realize it or not. We were made to do that. Right. We were made to do that, and they flourish and they're beautiful and they're taken care of, and that's the same thing for you, yeah, too. And I know another big thing that I really want to hit on is like growing up, we are very beautiful women, you and I. We're twins, so we look the same, y'all. But um, we're very beautiful, and growing up, we were very, very hard tomboys, like oh yeah, like long shorts, hair up in a ponytail or bun every day, baggy t-shirts. We played all the sports with the cowboy boots. With long shorts, the cowboy boots, yeah. That was the style. Hair was insane every day. We've curly hair too. Very mountain, mountain, mountain lane, mountain line, mountain line lane, mountain line, yeah. We didn't know how to care for curly hair, so we brushed it and it was just it's it was scary. So we were very, very, very strong tomboys. Oh, yeah. And so I am just I'm gonna do it. Okay. I'm very thankful that we were grown up in a society where homosexuality was not as strongly influenced for young children and teenagers. Because all of our, even like young childhood, preteen, teen years, like we never wore makeup. I still don't wear makeup except very rare special occasions because I'm I realize my beauty in the Lord, you know, not saying it's a sin to wear makeup or anything. Please do not get that double cross because I think women deserve makeup because they are beautiful in it. I personally just don't want to wear makeup. Mostly because I don't like the way it feels on my skin. I like the way it feels. Yeah, I'll forget it's on there and just that afterwards. But um, special occasions, special occasions. But I think I'm just thankful because I did struggle with homosexuality. It was a very, very brief time. Um, and like I said, we grew up in church, so that was like a big no-no. Like I don't know why, but it was held on a pedestal to where it was like a worse sin than other sins. But in God's eyes, a sin is a sin, period. You know, there's different consequences for different sins and different open doors that can happen in your life. But in the end, you need to repent if you're sinning anyway. So yeah, sin is sin, repent, move forward. So I did struggle with that when I was like late teens, very, very brief period of time. I never acted on it or anything, like just thoughts that were attacking me. Thoughts are very powerful and very strong. That's where the battle is, is in your mind. Yes. And that's why we wanted to talk about self-worth and identity and everything, is because if he can win you over and what you think about yourself, you're gonna forget who you are in Christ. Yes. And if you don't know who you are in Christ, well, let's get there. Yeah, because you're gonna fail if that's not me speaking death, that is me preaching from the Bible. Because the Lord says if you don't stand on that firm foundation of his rock, you will fall on the sand. And so this is us helping you and stuff that we needed to learn. And we have learned, yes, and we want to share it with you guys. And I'm really glad you touched based on that, because in today's world it's so like there's laws and stuff about parents getting their kids taken away because of as well, like sex changes and all that. And so, like you said, I'm also very grateful for that too, because we were very big tomboys, and the world could have convinced us to to turn that way. Yes. But because I didn't feel very comfortable in my body for a long, because I would sweat like crazy, we were tomboys, I was like some I just feel uncomfortable, right? You know, but I never since I knew mostly who I was in Christ, I never questioned if I needed to change or not, you know. It was just I was more comfortable being in shorts and a t-shirt and all these things. It wasn't a gender issue, like, and even when I became a like a late teen and I started questioning my sexuality and I thought I liked girls and all that, and I say thought, I was truly attracted to women because I don't want this to get twisted to saying, oh, she's just a Christian who's saying it's not real. No, it's very real. Yeah, feelings are very real, thoughts are very real. However, that's not how God intended us to be, that's not how He created us. He created Adam and Eve, man to be with woman. Sorry, not sorry if you're getting offended, but I mean, I struggled with the same things, and it's so prevalent in today's world that that it's like, oh, if you feel slightly uncomfortable in your body or you're a tomboy or you're a tom girl, I don't even know that's a thing. Oh, I don't know, I don't know. I just know we were very, very strong tomboys, and people joked about it a lot, but it we never had to question it because we knew who we are in Christ. God made you in such a way that He loves you so much and He wants you to love yourself in a non-selfish way. Right. And going back to the it's the battle in your mind, if you truly believe that you're born gay and you have no other option, and that's your only choice, know that what is happening there is uh we live in a spiritual world and it's between the kingdom of God and the kingdom of Satan. And if you truly believe you're born that way, well, you are born in the image of God. And so, with those feelings, like Maddie was saying, emotions are real, feelings are real, all that is real, and you can truly convince yourself of these things, but all it is is the lie from the enemy because God has so much of a more powerful plan and purpose, and for you to have true joy and peace, because you're gonna keep striving to fill that hole in your heart with that situation. So, all that is that you're believing is deception from the enemy. Yes, it's a lie from the enemy that on previous episodes I convinced myself that I was not pregnant between like like doctor's things and just truly convincing myself otherwise through doctors' visits and stuff too. And all it was was a lie. I believed in a lie, but in reality, there was something else going on that was had a better, better purpose. And so if you are in that, know that you can be saved and the Lord loves you so much that he's not gonna condemn you for that. He wants you to come to him because he he will satisfy you. Yes. You hunger and thirst for him and you continue to seek for him. If you just hope that he pops in like we were talking about earlier and just decide all right, your thoughts aren't like that anymore. Yeah, like it takes work, right? Faith required requires action. So, what are some actions that you took to help get you out of that, to stand on your self-worth, to come out of those thoughts, and to help those who truly believe that they can't be saved because being gay is who they are. So, for me, so I struggled with multiple different things. So the homosexuality, um, thoughts, and then uh like suicide, depression, hurting myself, all the things I've said it all. Um I had to do different things for different sins, basically. So um it is possible. So, how we talk about the Bible miracle work of I want to be set free from this, Lord, I'm asking you to do this, bam. That's possible. Yeah, but most of the time though, however, you're gonna have to work on it and you're gonna have to make a choice for the Lord because He's already saved you, He's already set you free. You just have to make that choice to put in the work to move forward to get closer to Him. So for me, He's already given you everything on a silver platter. Exactly. And you just have to take the action and going and grabbing it and receiving it. Yes, yeah. So for me, saying things out loud is a big deal for me. Yes. So the first thing I had to do with certain things was I had to admit that I had a problem first. Right. So, like for the homosexuality thing, I had like small thoughts here and there of thinking, oh, that woman's beautiful, which that's not a wrong thing. You can take think a woman is beautiful. God thinks everyone is beautiful, that's not a big deal. But then it would slowly escalate to things to where I would think, oh, that woman's really, really pretty. And then it slowly escalated to, oh, I wouldn't mind if I looked like her. And then it was, oh, I wouldn't mind if we were in the same room. Oh, I wouldn't mind being close to her. Oh, I'm attracted to her now. And then it just kept leading on and to the point to where I felt like I had to act on it. Like I felt like I had to go find a woman and be with her because I was just attracted to beautiful women now. And I growing up in Christian Holland, like these thoughts started coming, and then and then I had a hard battle of just being like, I know this is wrong, but what I'm feeling and thinking is very real. So it's it started with what wasn't homosexuality, started with like, okay, yeah, there's nothing wrong with thinking someone's pretty, and then into more of covetousness and jealousy. Because at the same time, those thoughts started happening when I was going through a breakup, too. So I was very vulnerable, and Satan knows when you're vulnerable. So he tries to throw things that you never thought you would struggle with at you. And you also grew up tomboy, so yes, you didn't always have the looks that some other women may have had. Don't compare yourself to other people. You're beautiful. Yeah, God doesn't give you rules to be mean, He gives you rules because he loves you so much, He doesn't want you to fall down that track and into that snowball effect. And so you believed in these lies, and then you felt shame for believing in the lies. And that's exactly what Satan does with you in everything, not just with these thoughts. The battle is in your mind. I don't know how many times you're gonna say even things that are worldly, like morally minor, like gluttony or greed, right? Or all those minor sins that are worldly minor, but not spiritually minor, yeah, you know. And so I remember being so shameful and so terrified because like growing up, that was a sin. That's like that's a bad sin, you know? Even though sin is a sin, you know. And so, uh, guys, you need to take your thoughts captive because even your thoughts is a sin. The Bible says, like, even when you're married to someone, if you even look at someone else with lust, you are committing adultery. Like it's an affair. That's an affair. Your thoughts are very powerful. So even if you're like so, even if you're just like, oh, well, I just thought about it for half a second, like that wasn't even my thought. It was just popped in there. Still sin. You still gotta work on there's still something there you gotta work on. So I remember being so shameful, and I was like, I can't tell anybody about this. And then I was like, Don't run away. Like, if you have these thoughts, don't be like, Oh, I can't take anything because everything is bad thoughts. Yeah, like you don't have to sit there and just be attacked of it because listen, Satan, it says he he what does it say about the lion? He goes around like a prowling lion seeking who he may devour. Yeah, so he's gonna come at you, but no fear. Yeah, no fear, Jesus is here. The closer you get to him, I like that. You need a little cape at that point. So the closer you get to the Lord, the easier it's gonna be to take those thoughts captive. And then one day you're not even gonna have those thoughts. Yeah, it'll be like you're fighting some big monster beast. Yeah, but the more you walk in it and take your faith into action and find scripture, like Maddie was saying, on you have these thoughts. Find the scripture that goes against those thoughts. Like I heard the other day about if you have thoughts about oh well, homosexuality, because that's what we were talking about. Don't go find thoughts about gluttony. Like, that kind of sword isn't going to attack the thoughts of homosexuality. So go find the scripture that goes with it. You can't go fight like a some monster beast with a fly swatter. Yeah. Like, that's not gonna work. You gotta find the right tools that he's given us. Yeah, the tools are the scripture, it's your word. You have to open it up. If you can't read, listen to it and take it in. So, yeah, you you take your thoughts captive. It is a battlefield, and that's what I love too. It's a battle, but like I said, don't fear Jesus is here. Yeah. Because guess what? He calls you a warrior. He's not just gonna call you a warrior and be like, all right, go fight, have fun. Yeah, like he is here to train you. Holy Spirit is your helper, your teacher, your counselor. You're not by yourself. And then guess what else he did? He gives you an entire body to go out to and look for wisdom and knowledge. Find someone that they don't have to be older than you, but if they've been seeking and seeking the Lord and have some wisdom and knowledge in this, like ask them, yeah, help me. It's okay to ask for help. It is okay to ask for help. From the right people, right? If you if you feel like you can't ask for help, well, that's also pride sneaking in there. And that's not to condemn you, it's because I was there too. And I thought raising up in that tomboy environment, you know, like I couldn't ask for help, and I've seen it as humility. Yes, that is not humility, that is pride. Because you're saying, Well, I can't ask for help because I'm either gonna bother them with that people pleaser. We don't want charity, or we don't want charity. We yeah, we can't have no help in hand, like I can figure this out for ourselves. Yeah, I'm strong and all this stuff, and that's that's pride, that's pride because that's also you without saying it. I think I can fix this on my own without seeking my father for help, without seeking God. I think I can handle this better than the very God that created me, and that's pride, and that goes into the whole part of like feminism and all that, and then I think that feeds. Into that homosexuality and all of that because you're some strong in the world. Not worldly feminine, like spirit, like read into your Bible on how a woman's meant to be and who they are in Christ because it's gonna make you a whole new woman. I need to go back to something real quick. So the homosexuality thing, I remember being shameful and everything, and I remember I gotta tell my dad about this. Oh yeah. And I remember I had just gotten together with my now husband. Um is he amazing? He's amazing. As you guys know, since I said my past time I was here. Um, so I was with my husband at the time. We were boyfriend and girlfriend at the time, and I was thinking, I I think I can't remember if we were engaged yet or if we were very close to getting engaged. But I was like, I'm going to have to tell him because I can't go into this relationship with these thoughts I have had, because it was fairly recently before we got together, like not long at all. So it was not long before we got together. I had those thoughts and feelings, and I was like, I'm gonna have to tell him. And when I told my boyfriend at the time, now husband, he said, Okay, do you still have those thoughts and feelings now? He's like, if so, we can work on it, but do you? And I was like, No, but like I've been terrified to tell you. And he goes, Why? And I was like, because I didn't know if you'd leave me, I didn't know if you think differently of me, I didn't know if you'd not want to be with me anymore. I didn't know if you think I would be disgusting, or if you thought I I don't know what I thought. I was scared. And he was like, Well, if you don't have those feelings anymore, those thoughts, what does it matter? Like, if you're struggling, I'll help you, but if you're not, then you're okay. And I was like, Oh, okay. Well, that wasn't that hard. And then I went to go tell my dad. And the only people who knew at the time was my boyfriend at the time, now husband, and my mom. And my dad was working on their new house, and I went down there, and I said, He was alone, and I was like, I'm gonna have to tell him. So I went to go tell him, and I said, Dad, I gotta tell you something. He said, You don't have to tell me. And I said, What do you mean? I was like, it's pretty important. And he was like, I know what it is, and I was like, No, you don't. You never nobody would guess this because we were very strong of we would never let that happen, you know. And uh he said, I know what it is. I said, No, you don't. He said, Yes, I do. The Lord told me. I said, huh? And he goes, Why would I make you feel shameful and say it again? You know? And I said, Well, I'm gonna say it anyways. And I told him I was attracted to women at a time. And he said, I know the Lord already told me. I said, Mom must have told you. And he said, No, I I promise. He she he was like, Yeah, she never told me. And I was like, Wow! I was like, Thank you, Lord, but thank you for taking care of me somewhere. I didn't have to say it again. I chose to because I needed to say it out loud to like admit it. And then, and he was like, Well, he goes, No matter what, I still love you. You can always come to me as long as you're not struggling anymore. There's nothing we need to work on. I was like, truly, like I have no more thoughts or feelings or like that anymore. I've just been terrified to tell you because I thought I would lose your love. And I didn't think I was I would be worthy enough to be your daughter anymore, basically. And that's like the father in heaven. It is so it just showed me like no matter what you've gone through, no matter what sin you're done or are doing, take it to the Lord. He's gonna love you no matter what. And if you're still struggling, they're gonna help you with it. So it like slowly showed when I told my boyfriend, and I was like, oh, like that wasn't as bad as I thought it was gonna be. And then I when I told my dad it just clicked, it's like that's how our father is in heaven. Yeah, you know, he's gonna love you no matter what, no matter what kind of sin you've done. Because I'm not saying that that's a worse worldly sin or anything like that, but for me that was a really big deal. And even when I had to tell my family I tried to take my life and all the things, you know, and he just love you so much, like my earthly father did, my worldly I mean, my worldly father earthly father did, just like my spiritual father. You know, yeah, and I was in the same way your worldly father responded was the same way your spiritual father should respond or did respond. And he also prepared the environment for you for that. And Holy Spirit can tell people things that you may you are worthy to go to the Lord. You are worthy to go to the Lord. Don't run away and hide from him, yes, like Jonah did. Yeah, like he's he's just sitting there waiting because he's not gonna force it out of you. He has to prepare He wants to train you, like that warrior earlier that we said that he calls you. He can't just magically fix your heart. I mean, he can, but he loves you so much that he wants you to get there on your own by having his truth revealed to you and for you to truly have a relationship. Because if it was fake and he forced you, that's not love. That is worldly love. Yes, it's manipulation, control, forcing you to do things. That's not okay. But God loves you so much, he gives you that opportunity to choose a relationship, and that goes into the whole heaven and hell thing. Like you have an entire lifetime on earth to choose him. He so after you die here on earth, he's not gonna force you to spend eternity with him because life isn't about going to heaven, oh I hope I go to heaven. It's about spending eternity with your father who loves you so much. You don't have to struggle with all these terrible thoughts and everything. The end goal is relationship with him, not yay, I made it to heaven. Yes. And about being a woman and growing into that and everything. To wrap this up a little bit about your worth as a woman. Do you guys know what he refers to Eve in the beginning? He refers to her as the helper to Adam. Who is our helper after you become a Christian? It's Holy Spirit. So, like, you're so worthy that he compares you to himself. You are not Holy Spirit. Don't you dare take that out. Don't mix that up. But understand that he loves you so much that you have such a high role to help your husband and to fulfill that role that he compares you to Holy Spirit, himself, a part of himself. Yes. And the helper. The helper. Who the helper? You the counselor, you give different points of view. It's not the meaning, it's not a demotion. It's such a high leadership role. Right. We wouldn't be able to function without the helpers, right? You know, because like I mentioned in my last podcast, I'm a nurse. I'm like the floor nurse, baseline, which I'm a charge nurse too, but like you're at the base, you know, and you are helping your management, leadership, CEOs, presidents, all the people. Like, there's gotta be the little guys, the little helpers that basically make everything possible. Right. You know, you aren't called to be like a man because a man has his own mind, emotions, all that stuff. He made you for a very specific purpose to help man and fulfill that. Like we're all to work together and just so you are not, you're not unworthy of God's love, you're not unworthy of repentance, you're not unworthy of forgiveness. Like Jesus died and came back to life and defeated all those stupid little names that try to lie in your head to you about who you are and what you deserve. Because honestly, like I said in the beginning, none of us deserve what Jesus did for us, but he loves you so much that he replaced all of those lies with truth? Yeah, yeah, just truth. It's so simple. Like if you see if you're struggling with something no matter what it is, recognize it. Say, hey, this probably isn't very good. This might be a sin, or it is a sin. And recognize it. Say it out loud, repent of it, and don't go back. Because why would you not when the Lord loves you so much? I say it now after I've struggled with all these things, but it's just so simple. It is so simple. He loves you. Let him love you. Like Maddie said earlier, you can't comprehend the amount of love that he has for you. God is love, and that's not an excuse to I can love whoever I want. That is, he loves you so so much that he doesn't want you to fall into those worldly lies. And that you may feel trapped, you may feel there's no escape. You may think that suicide is the only way out in this moment, but God says, No, my child, I have a better plan for you. You are beautiful, you are smart, you are courageous, you have no fear in the world because I am with you wherever you go. And so that lets you know that you don't have to prove yourself to do anything. You just take the action upon his word and continue to remain in who he says that you are. And it's that simple. That's it. And love yourself in a selfless way. Right. It may seem impossible, but start with those thoughts and take action on the words. I must say, love yourself in a selfless way because the Lord loves you so. Hold on, say it again. Love yourself in a selfless way because the Lord loves you so. Oh, dad, that's custa. Okay. Love yourself in a selfless way. Yeah. We may lose followers after this episode. I don't know. I don't care because we love you so much that the Lord has delivered Maddie of these things, and he's delivered me of my self-worth and those things. Cause I did think that I didn't. Well, I screwed up too bad this time. There's nothing that I can because anytime you have a sin like that, too, there's something much more deep within you that needs fixing. And mine was self-worth and love. And you know, just I was dealing with all those things and just self-worth and love. Like I have to fix those things, and then now I haven't even had that. I struggled with it for it was about two weeks exactly on the dot when I struggled with it. And I haven't had a thought, feeling, anything since. And if those thoughts come back, it's like well, earlier we said it was like taking down a beast, now it's like flicking away a fly. Yeah. So it's because I recognize it even easier now, and I realize that was something I struggled with. Because everyone struggles with different sins. Like, like I said earlier, I was in a vulnerable state. That was a sin that I never thought I would ever even think about struggling with. I would laugh at it if someone said I struggled with it in the future, you know? Yeah. And but no, once once Satan gets you vulnerable, he's gonna try to throw everything he can at you in a way that you never thought was possible. So just stay strong, you know. Dive into the Lord and you're you're all have that armor on you at all times. That's what I was gonna say. What verse is that? It's in Ephesians six, maybe. I believe it's six full armor of God. Always keep yourself protected, and then like eventually one day those thoughts and feelings are never gonna come. Yeah, you're not sure. Not just homosexuality, any sin. Right. You know, mine was like people pleasing. I let people treat me however the heck they wanted, which led into a snowball effect of sin within my life, and then suicide ideation and depression and anger. I had really bad anger. Yeah, and all that stuff just started manifesting in my life, but then God's like, hello, my beautiful child. And you're like, What? I was like, huh? He's so beautiful, it's like I'm worthy. Yes. And I remember sitting down and praying and saying, All right, Lord, I have made idols in myself, in my sports, in my life, in my husband, in my kid, all this stuff. I was like, I'm done. I was like, now I choose you. And he said, No, my daughter. You did not choose me, but I have chosen you. And that has remained If I could drop this mic, just throw it, no, don't throw it. You know, but yeah, so it's say that again, one more time. Okay. He said, No, my daughter, I've chosen you. I've chosen you. I've chosen you. He chose you. He's already chosen you. Right. Before the very foundations of the earth, he chose you, not in a predestined of I've selected a few. He chose everyone. He just got to choose him. Very, yes, he has a very specific plan for each and every one of you that he already has set out for you on that silver platter we were talking about. He's paid for it all, he's done it all. You just have to receive it like a Christmas present. Yeah. And what Christmas? Are we celebrating him? Just open it. Just open it. Just staring at it under the tree, go grab it, and rip the sucker open. Like, say you were stranded on an island with nothing, but you had one gift bag there and you refuse to open it, and then you get home off the stranded island, and then finally realized, oh my goodness, there was a satellite phone in this box the entire time. I could have used it to go help such a long time ago. I imagine like one of those like inflatable boats. You just home, and it's like I had to wait however many. I could have been saved so long ago. Yeah, just use the toy. It was there the whole time. Yeah. Oh, and I love that because he chose you before the very foundations of the earth, every single person. And he did it knowing that a lot of people would never choose him. He gave you a plan and a purpose, anyways. That's our choice as human beings. It's our choice, and that is true love. Knowing that. Imagine if you went to your husband or if you're a man and you went to your wife, and you gave them all of your love and in a way that Christ shows us, and they're like, Okay, so what? Um, I think you're lying to me. I think that I have a better plan for myself because I feel this way, and I have these emotions towards this way, and this makes me satisfied in this way. And I don't think I can really trust you because of all this hurt and stuff that I've had in the past, not in our relationship, but in other relationships. And all these people out here, my friends and family, are telling me that I that this isn't real and that I need to doubt this and that this is crazy. That's just shutting it off. You can't just shut it off and ignore it, or else it's just gonna keep creeping in and creep, keep growing stronger. Yeah. You gotta address it, deal with it, acknowledge it, repent, move forward. So and it might just because you move forward and like I didn't have any more thoughts or feelings or anything, but like just because you move forward doesn't mean it's not gonna try to sneak back in and you're negative. Because like, if you because when I got delivered of anxiety and depression, it tried to sneak back in multiple times. The better thing is I recognized it and knew better how to deal with it. Because we keep telling you guys, oh, you just have to choose him. You're like, I don't know what that means, I don't know how to do that. It's easy. Just tell him say, Jesus, this is what I'm struggling with. I don't know what else to do. I need you. Thank you for helping me. And then dive into the word. Right. And then just go closer to him. Read the word because it's truth. Just read it out loud. Say things out loud. If you don't know scripture off the top of your head and you ain't got a Bible close by, which most people do because you can download it on your phone for free. It's free. It's free. Um, look up a Christian song. Like almost not all Christian songs are ideally perfect, but most of them are based off of scripture. Yeah. So just sing those songs out loud.

unknown 36:08

Oh.

SPEAKER_00 36:09

And you may be choosing him as a last resort now because you don't know how to do this. You've never done this before. We didn't know how to use to do this. I don't know. Yeah, we don't know. It can feel confusing. It's confusing and it feels confusing. It's a little bit. Yeah, it's a little kind of like when you go on a roller coaster and you're like, I don't, I don't know about it, but then you get on it and you have the time of your life. Well, I don't, but some people do, you know, if you get that feeling. And it's really exciting. And so you just jump in the deep end and go have fun in that river that you can't touch in and go have a grand old time and do the old cannonballs and stuff. But as you train and begin to have counsel from Holy Spirit and find other like-minded believers that go to the word and not just what people say, like you will be trained in a way to where he won't be your last resort. Yes. He will be like you were saying earlier, you'll be able to recognize those thoughts that are coming in. And if you slip, no condemnation. The Lord knows you're human, he knows you're gonna mess up, and that's why he is there. And he's like, I love you, my child, just come back to me. And so don't feel ashamed for that and know that things will change if you stand on his word, stay on that firm foundation, and find you an accountability partner that when because you're human, your thoughts are gonna get weird. And so one that'll be truth to you no matter what, right, and not just call it right, no matter what, because it's love. Yes. And don't just go to them when you're having a hard time, check in a lot every once in a while and just see how they're doing, ask Holy Spirit how they're doing and how to guide them and help them and how they can help you with it. So if you guys have any questions that you can comment on our Facebook page. And we also have an email, I think it's S C-G-O-G-15 at Gmail. If you guys have any questions or testimonies, or if you literally have nobody, or even if you have a ton of people and you just need help with things, like please reach out and if you guys want to reach out to me directly, you can just email their personal email thing on their website and just say, This is directed for Maddie. Yeah, I'll definitely get in contact with Choly and Chloe. Sorry guys. Um, and or I'll just message it directly because I have access to all of their stuff too. So yeah, and so you are not alone, even if you are in some other country or however, but you have access to reach out, like we want to help because we were those lost, confused little girls and going through all the hormones and big feelings and yeah, like and we need to get to a point to where like we know the tools and so much of the love that the Lord has for us, we can just go straight to him and it's not gonna be a problem. But we're human, mistakes happen, things happen to where you're like, I've tried, I'm still struggling, I don't know what else to do. Go to someone. Sometimes it takes deliverance too. It does. And so I needed it. Yeah, whether you're saved or not, you can have deliver deliverance and it is much needed. And you'll you said today, I've got a peaceful, clear mind. I've got a peaceful, clear mind. And so you're able to focus upon the word after you have that. And we just want help and what we've learned. Lord loves you. Dear Heavenly Father, thank you so much for bringing us all together today, Lord, and just opening all of our hearts and uh hearts, hearts and minds to you, Lord, just making it all clear, revealing the truth that you have for us, Lord, letting each and every one of us know, male and female, who we truly are and our identity in you, Lord, for the love that you have for us, Father, and the true beauty, not a worldly beauty that we've been taught to know of beauty standards of male and female, but the true beauty that you have for us, Lord, just letting it be revealed right now to all of those listening and all of those who have been following, Lord, just letting them know just the true love and the true beauty that you have for them, Lord, to where everything's breaking right now, to everything that they've been struggling with, the self-worth, identity, feelings of any type of sin, or just feelings that not knowing know what to do with, Lord, just letting them give it to you right now, Father, in the name of Jesus, Father, just touching them from head to toe, shedding all of those hard times and the hard feelings and all those thoughts late at night with themselves that they don't even know why they're struggling, but they're struggling, Lord, and all they know is they need a hand to reach out to let them know that, hey, everything's gonna be okay. And that hand is connected to you, Father, just letting them embracing your love and basically a hug from you, Lord, just surrounding them right now to where they're just fully surrendered to your love and letting them know that you are that they are your child. Jesus.