Are We Thriving or Just Surviving? Honest Mom Life, Burnout & Wellness Check

Welcome back to Boundaries & Banter — the podcast where sisters-in-law Taryn & Michela get real about life, boundaries, relationships, and mental health.
In this raw wellness check episode, we bring it back to basics and talk about where we’re really at. From constant exhaustion and surviving instead of thriving, to the nonstop cycle of sick kids, allergies, OIT appointments, work stress (especially as a litigator), financial pressure in California, beauty standards, postpartum recovery, digital detox, and the unrealistic expectations we all face as moms and working women.
We also touch on gratitude, rewiring your brain, checking in on friends, radical acceptance of hard seasons, and why it’s okay to sit in negative emotions without immediately trying to “fix” them.
If you’re feeling burned out, overwhelmed, or just need to hear that you’re not alone — this one’s for you.
Timestamps:

00:00 Welcome & Wellness Check
01:30 Surviving vs Thriving as Moms
04:45 Sick Kids, Allergies & OIT Life
09:30 Attorney Burnout & Big Law Reality
14:20 Financial Pressure & Cost of Living
19:40 Beauty Standards, Ozempic & Unrealistic Expectations
25:10 Digital Detox & Social Media Pressure
30:30 Gratitude, Sitting in Hard Emotions & Checking on Friends
36:20 Would You Rather Segment

Drop a comment: Are you currently thriving or just surviving? What’s been your biggest pressure lately?
Subscribe for more honest conversations and follow us on Instagram @boundariesandbanter.
#MomBurnout #WellnessCheck #Burnout #Motherhood #WorkLifeBalance #FinancialStress #BoundariesAndBanter #MentalHealth #SurvivingNotThriving #MomLife

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Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:00

Welcome back to Boundaries Invancer. We're your hosts, Tana McHala. And today we're going to bring it back to basics and just talk about life. Life. What's going on? This is a wellness check. It's a wellness check. And you know what we're talking about? What are you doing? Yeah. And we're going to try and do it every few months because are we thriving or are we just surviving?

SPEAKER_04 0:25

I feel like in a lot of ways, like we're just surviving. I feel like every morning we text each other or you know, whoever I'm talking to, and the first thing that comes out of my mouth is, I'm so tired. Yeah, I'm fully in survival mode. And like, what are we? I mean, you're working full time. I was gonna say, what am I doing every day? I'm busy. I'm busy. I'm like waking up with babies, and then what what what do we get done? What do we have time to do? My daughter's in school for three hours.

SPEAKER_02 0:58

And you're you have a baby.

SPEAKER_04 1:00

And I have a baby, but then like they need my constant attention. So I don't get anything done. Like I've been needing, I like there's so many things that my to-do list is so long, and I just don't get anything done. But I do feel like as moms, we deserve some grace because and I've seen I see this on Instagram a lot, where you're like, I didn't get anything done today, but your child is like, oh, I had the best day today because like you played with me and you held me and you rocked me to sleep. And I feel like what I've been going through lately is my kids are constantly getting sick. So I just haven't gotten a break. Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_02 1:36

Your kids have been sick.

SPEAKER_04 1:37

Apparently, it's normal.

SPEAKER_02 1:39

Since October.

SPEAKER_04 1:40

It's normal.

SPEAKER_02 1:41

But are we at an April?

SPEAKER_04 1:42

Because my daughter started preschool. And since then, it's like she gets sick.

SPEAKER_02 1:48

But they also are very susceptible to allergies.

SPEAKER_04 1:50

Yeah, I've been dealing with that. Both of them are like anaphylactic to certain foods. Aye. And I've been dealing with that. So that's like a whole other thing that we're like at the allergist all the time. And they're both in OIT, which for those that don't know, it's oral immunotherapy, where they desensitize you to certain foods. It's just a long time. Like what? You have to give it like basically my daughter is like anaphylactic, stops breathing when she eats egg. My son peanut and then he developed an e allergy. So like they are microdosing them daily with you know, whatever the allergen is.

SPEAKER_02 2:28

So crazy. You know, my my mom said that in South Africa she never knew anyone with a peanut allergy. So she only met people with peanut allergies when she came to America.

SPEAKER_04 2:38

I don't know. I feel like it was never like this.

SPEAKER_02 2:41

So we're we're talking about burnout. Yeah. I mean, I feel a lot of burnout all the time. But that's because you're working also like I really don't think you can be an attorney without feeling burnout.

SPEAKER_04 2:56

I used that video the other day, and I said, Is this true? It was a video, an Instagram reel of this girl in big law. In big law, getting home, and it's like she's starting to work at midnight again after she gets home from being at a dinner.

SPEAKER_02 3:11

Yeah, and the in the Instagram is like a it's a vlog. It's like 11 p.m. taking my black timestamps, taking my black service car that my friend gave me from my office back to my home so I can work and do it all over again. And like I love my life. And she was gen, she was saying it in like not in a funny way. And I was like, You hate your life.

SPEAKER_04 3:31

I mean, there's no way you can go to sleep at three o'clock and then wake up at six and live your life. No, no, no.

SPEAKER_02 3:37

And it's also really it's kind of irresponsible to post that kind of thing on social media where it's getting thousands of likes and views and this and that, because there's this standard of oh, if you're working this hard, especially as a woman, if you're working this hard, that's to be expected and that's good, and you should love your life. And I will say, there is this one TikTok that I've seen circulated and the guy's quoting someone else. And I don't want to get it wrong because it's really good. But he says something like what a privilege it is to be so tired from this work that I once prayed for. And I do think that, right? Like I feel very privileged that I'm tired from the work that I do, that I worked so hard that I went to university and then lost school and then sat for the bar, and and you know, I'm employed and I have a robust career and I'm really good at what I do and all of these things. And I feel very thankful for being tired from the work that I once prayed for, but at the same time, I am so fucking tired.

SPEAKER_04 4:49

I get it.

SPEAKER_02 4:50

I get it. At the same time, I also do think it's different being a woman in such a masculine career, like an attorney is basically a litigator, right? I'm not in-house drafting contracts, I'm arguing all day. I'm fighting for my life and my clients all day. And it is so exhausting. And then to have to clock in, oh, but I still want to work out and I still want to look good, and I still want to connect with your husband. Connect with my husband and cook dinner. Yeah. And there's there's not enough hours in the day. There's not enough hours in the day, Michaela. I'm so tired.

SPEAKER_04 5:29

There's really not. And you know, I think about it a lot like being a mom. Okay. Like before I was a mom, like you have a lot more free time, you know? And now that I'm a mom and I complain about being tired, I'm so grateful that my arms are full with these like two amazing kids. But it is hard, like finding that time to connect with your husband. And like, you know, after the kids go to sleep, like you just, it's true. Like you just want to sit on your phone and like decompress. And it's not good. Like you should really find time to connect with your significant other and talk to friends. Like sometimes I feel like the way of my my way of communicating with my friends is just like sending each other reels. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 6:07

No, it's so hard. Cause the mental capacity that it takes just to have a conversation with somebody else instead of just especially when you're talking all day, like when you're talking to kids all day, or when you're talking to clients all day, or you're just talking all day. You just want to be quiet. You just want to sit in silence, you just want to turn your brain off and watch TV or is you know, veg out. But then there's, you know, all of these things on TikTok that are like, well, you need to wake up at 5 a.m. and put red light on and do your 10-step Korean skincare routine, and you know, and it's all alive because all of these people straight up have plastic surgery. So you're just trying to achieve this unobtainable unobtainable goal, and you're exhausting yourself doing it. And it's so tiring. It's so tiring.

SPEAKER_04 6:57

Okay, so yeah, I feel like there's a lot of pressure to look a certain way, to be a certain weight, to like be a certain kind of mom. Or, you know, like the the influencers that are moms, I don't know how they find the time to like set up a camera and do all of that shit. I really don't. It's like you and I talk about this all the time. Cause like we're at the you know, we do this and like we want to film more content content out. Why do we have the time?

SPEAKER_02 7:28

Yeah, like for our viewers, we would really love to build this podcast and build our personal brands and this and that. Not only do we feel, yeah, but not only do we feel we need to break this barrier of feeling like remarkably uncomfortable talking into a camera. This is so different. It's just us having a conversation in the living room. Um, but like how what where is the time? For like you and I are up, our hours are the same because I wake up at six and then I leave for the office at 6:30, and that's when you're waking up with your kids. So we chat then, and then I go to the office, and then I leave the office around four, and it takes me an hour to get home from work. So we chat then, but that's 12 hours of the day.

SPEAKER_04 8:07

Got it's a lot, and then you get home and you're just exhausted, or you're home running around with kids like trying to deal with like bedtime, and then like after bedtime's done, like my husband and I will have dinner together.

SPEAKER_02 8:20

And then it's like 10 p.m. and then it's time to go to bed.

SPEAKER_04 8:24

And I'm still nursing, so like I have to wait until pretty late to pump. So it's just it's pretty exhausting. What's the pumping sketch? I mean, he's 10 and a half months, so we've tapered back a bit. But I nurse during the day and then I pump the evening bottle and on my way, on my marijuana.

SPEAKER_02 8:44

Do you have to wake up in the middle of the night still?

SPEAKER_04 8:46

No, but when they're newborn, like that's exhausting.

SPEAKER_02 8:49

But you're still waking up in the middle of the night all the time with your kids because they're sick.

SPEAKER_04 8:52

Yeah, since they've been sick.

SPEAKER_02 8:54

It's like you don't get a full night's sleep.

SPEAKER_04 8:57

Yeah, like my daughter had that like a stomach virus, right? Remember? And then she got better. Yeah. And then she got a cold, which made her get asthma. And then my son got the same cold, and now he's developed asthma from it, and now he has an ear infection. And this is a third ear infection since January. So it's just nonstop, it's always something.

SPEAKER_02 9:18

Yeah, so you never sleep. I don't sleep because of um anxiety. I have work, I have so much work anxiety. Oh, yeah. But life anxiety too. Life anxiety too. I mean, the cost of living, particularly in California and Los Angeles, it's not normal. It's insane. It's so not normal. It's so terrifying. Like my our parents are immigrants. They came both came to America. Mine with like two little kids, little kids. You guys were a little bit older. And you know, obviously, I don't think anything really is as hard as immigration. So I think in that way they had a way harder time than us.

SPEAKER_04 9:54

I mean, you were really little, so you didn't remember, but I will say there is nothing as hard as immigration. I remember I hated it.

SPEAKER_02 9:59

Well, no, I don't remember, but like my parents came to America with nothing. So I I remember how hard it was in the beginning when I was little. And we first went to Canada and then we came here, and I remember it was not, it was not easy. I don't think that there is anything as hard as immigration. Um, but I will say the cost of living was so different that like buying a house today. It's it's not even possible for most people. No, not for young couples. I mean, my parents always say we're at such a disadvantage. And it's just so frustrating because you don't have you know enough money to live in the way that you want to live or the certain lifestyle that you want, or to even, you know, maybe give your kids certain things that you want them to have. But then, like you said, there's this beauty goal, particularly for women, of like I guess now when we were growing up, it was like I mean, I guess when we were growing up, it was like the Kate Moss whole thing, and then it turned into the Kardashian whole thing. So you had to have, you know, the fillers and the BBLs and the all the crazy surgeries or whatever. And now it's like ultra thin facelift women that like all of their face cards look the same.

SPEAKER_04 11:13

Like, but you know, I feel like when we were growing up, it was the Kate Moss, the Cindy Crawford, all the models. Like they were, that was their job. They were just models. But then, you know, the Kardashians came in and the these influencers and sele other celebrities. And now it's like, well, I'm gonna, I can go to a surgeon and have them make my face look like this or make me. It was never like that back in the day. No, like when we were growing up.

SPEAKER_02 11:41

No, but it no, women looked different, like everyone looked unique and individual. But I but I will say, like, there were still different, it was different versions of that, right? It was like try this crazy diet and you'll get the body, like a Victoria's. Yeah, something crazy. But the point of this is like these we're flooded with it, right? Like 16-year-old girls don't even look like 16-year-old girls. No, right. We were we were on like how young are people getting filler nowadays?

SPEAKER_04 12:15

Really young, I think. Really, really young, right? Yeah. Have you ever noticed a group of friends and all of them look the same?

SPEAKER_02 12:23

I know so many groups of friends that all of them like the same. They all look identical. Like I know groups of friends that are our age that all look the same, and then like they're probably thinking of the same.

SPEAKER_04 12:32

We're probably thinking, yeah. They all look identical, they all look the same. Their makeup's the same, the way they dress is the same.

SPEAKER_02 12:38

But and they're all but they're all trying to look like the same sort of celebrity or this or that or whatever.

SPEAKER_04 12:44

And it's what happened to being unique and just being you, but also like how much pressure to keep up, it's so expensive. Look, I'm a big Botox lover. I love Botox. I love Botox. And I think filler is really yeah, I think filler is also great. But there is a fine line, you know. How fake do you want to look?

SPEAKER_02 13:10

Like I would way rather just wait until I'm like 50 and get a facelift.

SPEAKER_04 13:14

Yeah, I'm gonna for sure get a facelift once. We'll do it together and a mommy makeover. But I think that's a mommy makeover, you know, like tummy tuck, boobs, like you name it, just everything. Really? Yeah. I don't think it you'll need that. Well, we'll see. You're snatched, baby.

SPEAKER_02 13:30

We'll see. But we'll do sister facelifts.

SPEAKER_04 13:32

Yeah, we'll do it.

SPEAKER_02 13:33

It's fine.

SPEAKER_04 13:34

Like a mini facelift or something.

SPEAKER_02 13:35

No, I I so like that's what I hear. Like, you're not supposed to do that. You're supposed to do like deep plane and go full, full bang at 50.

SPEAKER_04 13:42

Okay, well, whatever. I'm saying for now, the point of Botox and filler in my eyes is to look like an elevated version of yourself, right? You don't want to change your whole I mean, unless you, you know, you need to get a nose job or you need to do this or you need to do that. But that's surgery, and obviously I'm like nose jobs or OG.

SPEAKER_02 14:00

Yeah. Kids were getting, you know, we're we're Jewish. Girls were getting nose jobs as bot mitzvah gifts. Yeah, true. Like that was pretty the norm. But now these beauty norms and beauty standards, like everyone's on Ozempic. You saw the Oscars, like everybody literally looked skeletal and malnourished and terrifying, but now everybody wants to be that thin. And there are just all of these crazy goals because everybody's taking some sort of drug or quick fix or this, but then there's these influencers on TikTok being like, if you eat chia seeds and you'll get skinny in two weeks, and this and that, and then you do this workout and you do that, and you get 20,000 steps in a day. Like, who's getting 20,000 steps in a day? That's like a full-time mom or employed. I have no idea.

SPEAKER_04 14:50

When I tell myself, you know what, I'm gonna wake up at 5 a.m. tomorrow to go in the treadmill. How? No. I know a lot of moms, like I've got some mom friends that will wake up early at like 5 30 or 5 45, so you have coffee and peace. I can understand that, but then they're going to sleep early.

SPEAKER_02 15:08

Yeah, but that's yeah, I mean, like, listen, if you're doing it because that's your time for like solitude or peace or some alone time, or that's the only time you can get in, then you gotta do what you gotta do because you're a mom. But when it comes to like work, American work culture and workforce, especially as a woman, like, no, I'm not waking up. That I've yeah, I would I leave the house at 6 30, so I'd have to wake up essentially at like 4 45 or 5. I mean, I'm not doing that.

SPEAKER_04 15:38

I just feel like a lot of these, a lot of the pressure to be skinny or to look a certain way post like two weeks postpartum. It's not attainable, it's not it's not normal. Like it doesn't happen for most people. And you know how there's obviously the algorithm on social media, but you get videos targeted toward like what you're going through in life. You know what I mean? Yeah, I get it all. Okay. So when I was when I was pregnant with my second child, actually with my first, but it, you know, my second is just more fresh in my memory. I got videos of people being pregnant and having babies. And then when he was born, I got the videos of the postpartum and how I lost my postpartum weight and how, you know, I bounced back in a month and a half. And it took me seven months to just get back to the same weight. But your body doesn't look the same. Like I feel like people that post, it's just unrealistic.

SPEAKER_03 16:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 16:43

And I hope that the viewers out there know that it's not normal to bounce back in two months. Yeah. Sometimes it's not even normal to like maybe for some people, seven months would is super, super quick. Yeah. But give yourself time, give yourself some grace.

SPEAKER_02 17:00

None of this stuff is normal. I mean, we're like really programmed to believe, you know, working a seven to five or seven to four or whatever it is, nine to six job, and then getting your macros in and doing the workout and drinking all the water and being so perfect, and life is so easy, and it's everything is great. And if you practice gratitude, then you'll never feel anxiety or depression or this and that. And like to an extent, yeah, practicing gratitude is good. But like, what about like mental health issues? I suffer from really bad depression. I have really bad depression. I have to try harder than most to be on what would be baseline for you. And I've also been on medication since I was 18, and I can't go off it. And I have tried, and it's I'm not at the same level. So going through the thralls of life and having all of these pressures and financial pressure and work pressure and then beauty pressure, beauty pressure, and having a good relationship and all of the things is so taxing on your mental health, and it it's too much.

SPEAKER_04 18:12

But if we're experiencing it, everyone else is too.

SPEAKER_02 18:16

Yeah, but they lie.

SPEAKER_04 18:17

No, I mean, like, I think a lot of influencers make it look really easy and it's not.

SPEAKER_02 18:22

But don't you think that's like shitty? I mean, I know that you and I are going to try to build our personal brands because we need to, for you know, for the sake of the pod. I want it to be at least real.

SPEAKER_04 18:34

Like it's not the the things that you're seeing are not normal.

SPEAKER_02 18:39

Yeah. And I just feel as though when I'm scrolling, I need to buy everything, and then I need to look like this, and then I need to be more feminine, which obviously is what we all want, but I can't because I'm in this masculine role all the time at my job.

SPEAKER_03 19:01

When do we have time for us? I don't know. Do you want to just run away together? I think that we should. With my kids, though. Yeah, they can go.

SPEAKER_04 19:09

Although I do really love my husband. I wouldn't want to leave him. Okay, let me look at it. But it's so I think it's okay. I think a really important thing is that anytime someone says that they're anxious or they're depressed or they're sad or they're whatever a negative feeling is, your first, the first thought that comes to mind is, let me fix it. Let me fix it. And it's okay to sit in that negative emotion. It's okay. Yeah. And I think that's a really big takeaway here is you don't have to fix the feeling. And I look at that with my daughter too, that sometimes she'll, you know, even this morning, she said that she won't. Were we on the phone this morning and she was screaming she wanted ice cream? Maybe I was on the phone with one of my friends and she was screaming she wanted ice cream. This was like 7:30 in the morning. I just said, You're not like you're not getting ice cream. You're gonna have toast and cottage cheese, you're gonna have cereal, you I can make you pancakes. What about a lollipop? And then she told me afterwards, she said, I'm really sad. And I said, That's okay, you can be sad. And I think it's really important to learn how to sit in those negative feelings, yeah, and not have to fix it right away. Cause what would make her happy? To have a lollipop or to have ice cream in the morning? Like it's not gonna happen.

SPEAKER_02 20:30

Yeah, at the same time, I think when you're in a depressive state or you feel like life is really getting the best of you, or so many things are putting pressure on you to look a certain way or be a certain way or act a certain way or do something certain, whatever it is, it's really good to stop and take a breath and just remind yourself like I am here, I am safe, like I am fine.

SPEAKER_04 20:52

That's good advice.

SPEAKER_02 20:53

And then also, like, what are five things that happen today or five things that make me really happy or really grateful? And it rewires your brain, because I have to do this a lot, it rewires your brain to stop feeling so pressured, or to stop comparing yourself, or to take it out of a depressive state and think. Even my mom used to always say, even if you had like a great cup of coffee in the morning, just something to be grateful for. I had a great cup of coffee, or like I had a really nice conversation with this person, or the sun is out today. Even the most simple things, it really rewires your brain to be thankful for things.

SPEAKER_04 21:29

I think that we should remember to do that more often. I know. And the other thing that I think is really good, like when you don't have time to connect with your significant other because you're so busy with your kids or your job or whatever it is, even when you sit down with them for dinner, look at each other, and say three things that you're grateful for that that person did. So it could be I'm so thankful that you bathed the kids tonight. I'm so grateful that you loaded the dishwasher, whatever it is, but say something. Something like how you said it rewires your brain. Like, say something positive and good to your partner so that it can also just remind you of why you're with them. And yeah. So just to continue with what are we actually doing? Telling ourselves things that we're grateful for, telling our partners things that we're grateful for with them, lowering our expectations.

SPEAKER_02 22:28

I think if you are in the state of if your mind is thinking, I not not, oh, you know, four or five months is up. I need to get my disported botox re redone. It's your mind is running rampant with I need to be this then, I need to look at like this, I need to buy this. And it because it happens to us, we don't realize like scroller fatigue, and it just really happens, and we're starting to really compare ourselves. Digital detoxing, delete TikTok, delete Instagram from your phone, disconnect. I remember before TikTok was a thing. I remember I deleted Instagram from my phone, and I was not on Instagram for maybe a year. It helps. Oh my gosh. It's fantastic. It really helps. It really helps. And then you are you have a reality check. It's not reality.

SPEAKER_04 23:20

It's really not real.

SPEAKER_02 23:21

TikTok and Instagram are crazy. It is crazy we've allowed these things and platforms. Think about how edited our lives.

SPEAKER_04 23:28

Even like a day in the life of like what I eat. Do you think they really ate everything that day? Or it's filmed over other, it's filmed over several days.

SPEAKER_02 23:34

No, and you see all of these other people being like, that girl doesn't eat that. She's literally malnourished and underweight because she's on a Zambek and she doesn't eat that. But they're selling a story. So yeah, digital detox is fantastic. I probably need to do that soon.

SPEAKER_04 23:49

I think a really big thing is checking in on your friends, checking in on those around you, and not as a way of like to make you feel better, but genuinely caring about the people around you. How are you doing? I really want to know more about what you're going through. Yeah. Not enough people do that. No, no one does that.

SPEAKER_02 24:09

Because people are very self, people are selfish. I mean, I have a couple best friends where we do do that to each other for each other regularly. Also, we do that for each other, each other regularly.

SPEAKER_04 24:21

My best friends, like my close friends, I talk to on a daily basis. Yeah, me too. So, like, you know, I'll let you know if something between yesterday and today changed. Also, any like crazy thing that happens that may not be a big deal that you vent to your friends about, like your friends can also put you in check and say, Okay, you're gonna die on this hill. Yeah, I mean, we do that for each other all the time.

SPEAKER_02 24:41

But also when you've told a friend something that you've that you've gone through to just check in a day or two later and say, How's it going? How are you?

SPEAKER_04 24:49

So I think it just long story short, accepting hard phases without trying to optimize them.

SPEAKER_02 24:58

Yeah. And also life is tough, living is tough, life is expensive. Yeah, no, literally. Providing a life for your children or your family is tough. A lot of pressure. Yeah. Like, unless people say money doesn't buy happiness. Money buys happiness. It does. And they're lying, and it does. Money for sure buys happiness. Unless you are like say la V, I'm kicking my shoes off, I'm moving to Costa Rica, I'm gonna per vita life. Okay, but like I'm gonna per a vita life, I'm gonna be a surf instructor and like chill, which by the way, fantastic lifestyle. Don't think I haven't thought about it.

SPEAKER_04 25:41

But it's not reality. But I think we can say money buys happiness because if you're sick, you need money to go to a doctor. If you want to get some beauty stuff done, you need money to do that. You want to look good, you want to go to good schools. Yeah, you want to go to I mean the the main things, go to good schools, have help, be able to clothe your children, be able to have a roof over your head. Money to an extent does buy happiness. Ugh.

SPEAKER_02 26:12

Don't I know it, sister?

SPEAKER_04 26:14

Don't I know it, do?

SPEAKER_02 26:15

They're lying to you if they say that to us.

SPEAKER_04 26:18

I think that those people do really believe that money buys happiness.

SPEAKER_02 26:22

But they but they're just too self-righteous to admit it. Uh-huh. Cool.

SPEAKER_04 26:27

Well, I think we're gonna do some would you rathers now. We have a really long list of them. So let's get started. Do you want me to go first or do you want to go first?

SPEAKER_02 26:39

Okay, would you rather be respected for a life that exhausts you or be judged for a life that gives you peace?

SPEAKER_04 26:47

I'd rather be judged for a life that gives me peace. Me too. Bring me peace. Yeah, and no one wants to be exhausted and stressed out.

SPEAKER_02 26:55

I would love peace. Would you rather feel like you're failing at home but winning at work, or failing at work but fully present at home? I think it depends. I think it depends if you have kids. Okay, so if you have kids, I'd rather be fully present at home.

SPEAKER_03 27:12

Okay, but what if you were failing at work and you're you weren't bringing any home the money?

SPEAKER_02 27:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 27:19

That's huffy. Then I'd rather not be as present at home.

SPEAKER_01 27:25

Okay, so that's your answer then.

SPEAKER_04 27:27

I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 27:28

What about you?

SPEAKER_02 27:32

If if I mean if the household dependent on depended on my income, then I would rather not fail at work.

SPEAKER_04 27:42

But if it didn't, then yeah. So the answer is dependent.

SPEAKER_03 27:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 27:46

Would you rather have fight complete financial security but no control over your time? Or have full control over your time but constant financial pressure? I would rather like have no control over my time. Are you kidding me?

SPEAKER_01 28:02

I would rather have complete financial security. Yeah. Like, but no control over my time. Any day.

SPEAKER_02 28:09

By the way, by the way, if you have constant financial pressure.

SPEAKER_04 28:14

Then you have no control over your time.

SPEAKER_02 28:15

You inherently have no control over your time because your time is dedicated to satiating that pressure. Right.

SPEAKER_04 28:23

Would you rather know that everyone secretly thinks you're struggling or that no one realizes how much you're struggling? B, because it's largely already true. Also, it would be really embarrassed. Like you don't want to be humiliated.

SPEAKER_02 28:38

I care less about that. I just like don't want to burden other people. Right. Well.

SPEAKER_04 28:44

That's sad.

SPEAKER_02 28:45

I know.

SPEAKER_04 28:47

Would you rather look exactly how you want, but always feel behind in life, or feel completely fulfilled but never look how love how you look? I feel like it's I'd rather look good. I feel like if you look good, then you'll never be behind in life. So true. It's a fucked up thing to say. I don't care.

SPEAKER_02 29:08

It's a lie. If anybody says, oh, I'd rather always feel like shit about myself, they're lying. Yeah, for sure.

SPEAKER_04 29:14

Um, would you rather know everything people are doing to look perfect or permanently stop comparing yourself to anyone?

SPEAKER_02 29:22

I'd rather permanently stop comparing yourself.

SPEAKER_04 29:24

I'd rather know everything that people are doing.

SPEAKER_02 29:27

That that is, by the way, in their lies. The nosy part of me? And the no, the like, yes, but no. The like the core of our difference of who we are in people.

SPEAKER_04 29:43

I like to do that.

SPEAKER_02 29:44

Like you want to know everything. I'm like, I would rather not see anyone see anything and never compare myself and like like no. Like detach.

SPEAKER_04 29:54

And you're like, I want to know everything. I feel like I'm not comparing myself to people though. I'm just like, must be nice. Yeah, like I don't ever want to feel like okay. Would you rather be perceived as someone who has it all together physically? Like your bomb. Like you just are a hottie. Or be someone who actually feels good in their body. I want to be perceived. If I'm perceived, then trust me, you're gonna you're hot. Yeah. Well, it's not just that, you'll feel good.

SPEAKER_02 30:32

Like, okay, this is how I'm thinking. If you are perceived as someone who has a banging body, objectively, you probably have a banging body. And if you objectively have a banging body, then you feel good. Okay. Logic. Would you rather be the person everyone depends on or the person no one expects anything from?

SPEAKER_04 30:53

Don't call me, I won't call you. Would you rather lose the ability to worry about anything or lose the ability to care deeply about anything?

SPEAKER_01 31:04

Oh my god, if I didn't have a worry in the world for the rest of my life.

SPEAKER_04 31:10

But then what if you just never worry about anything and you really should be worrying about certain things? I guess you'd never know.

SPEAKER_02 31:21

Wouldn't you rather that than like not care about anything? Like, imagine not caring about your children. Okay, yeah, that's true. Would you rather always say exactly what you mean and deal with the fallout or constantly edit yourself to keep the peace?

SPEAKER_04 31:35

I will say for this one, our viewers should reference our first episode. So true. And you'll know our answer.

SPEAKER_01 31:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 31:48

Would you rather reach the top of your career and realize it cost you your personal life or step back early and always wonder what I top of my career? It'd be ballin'. Money buys happiness. Yeah, it's true.

SPEAKER_04 32:07

Would you rather be known as a person the bet the be known as the best but impossible to reach, or be available and liked but not exceptional? I'd rather be known as the best. Hold on, finish it. You didn't even finish that one. Because I just knew my answer. But I guess I gotta tell the viewers. Okay, or be available and liked, but not exceptional.

SPEAKER_02 32:26

I would rather be the best and impossible to reach because it literally is the best of worlds.

SPEAKER_04 32:33

They always say the president is impossible. Like, are you the president that you're so impossible to reach? I want to be like that. Or like, are you the queen of Sheba? Yeah, there you go. Yeah. Would you rather have help with everything and feel disconnected from your life or be overwhelmed but deeply involved in everything? I would rather have help with everything but feel disconnected. Yeah, but I don't want to be disconnected from like so sad. What have I become? I don't want to be disconnected. That's a really hard one because I think that it's nice to have help, but to be disconnected from things emotionally.

SPEAKER_02 33:07

How overwhelmed are you? Because if you're so overwhelmed, there's burnout and then there's it can get worse. Right. This is a hard one. I'm gonna retract my answer because it was very bleak, and I don't think that that's necessarily the truth.

SPEAKER_04 33:20

I just think that it depends on the situation. Would you rather relive your current life with less stress but less ambition? Or keep your ambition knowing it comes with this level of high stress. Less stress for me.

SPEAKER_02 33:36

Would you rather only be able to bathe in a koi pond with fish or for like one year and you're just bathing with fish? It's the only way you can clean yourself, or only be able to shower in the neighbor's yard in the daytime. These sprinklers. In the neighbor's yard. Sprinklers.

SPEAKER_03 33:55

What if she got arrested for public nudity? I'm not gonna bath in a koi pond.

SPEAKER_02 34:00

Okay. How about you? Um, I would probably do the neighbor shower also than the fish. Would you rather your mother-in-law always walk in on your husband showering? Like she just thinks it's okay to see his dingling. Or every time she comes over, or like every time you guys are together, she makes your husband dress in um a mommy-son costume and do like a performance, like they're in a play.

SPEAKER_03 34:28

The dressing, dressing up, the costume one. What about you? Costume.

SPEAKER_01 34:34

The costume one. I think I just blackmailed them. So fucking weird.

SPEAKER_04 34:38

That's really fucking weird. Okay, we'll go back to one more. A few more normal, would you rather? Would you rather fix your past or guarantee your future? Guarantee my future for sure. Would you rather have a peaceful marriage with no passion or a passionate marriage that comes with real conflict? Peaceful. Peaceful. Peaceful. Passion's overrated. People say like a spark. A spark is bullshit.

SPEAKER_02 35:02

Yeah, I know it's so overrated.

SPEAKER_04 35:04

What are we? 15? Yeah. This isn't the notebook. Would you rather make a lot of money doing something that drains you or make less money but actually enjoy your life? Money. Me too. Drain me, baby.

SPEAKER_01 35:20

Like I'm already drained. Like go in like good spot. And just like throw them, throw the bucks at me. Do you have any more? Would you rather?

SPEAKER_04 35:27

Well, let's think about our ones from our stories because they're funny. We have some good ones on our Instagram stories that we do a few times a week. So you guys should definitely head there. And well, let's do some for them while we're here.

SPEAKER_02 35:42

Okay, hold on. I'll go to our, what is it? Our saved, our archived.

SPEAKER_04 35:46

Our archived, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 35:49

If you guys aren't watching these, you sure are missing out.

SPEAKER_04 35:53

The what people that are watching and voting are loving them.

SPEAKER_02 35:56

Okay, would you rather your husband is always on his phone, like no eye contact during conversations and is always scrolling? Like imagine you were having a conversation. Imagine, like, I'm your husband right now and I'm just like this the whole time. I don't even look at you. You have to do the or because hold on, you're at group dinners and they're not even looking at anyone. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 36:16

Like it's fucking rude.

SPEAKER_02 36:18

Or your husband have his hands down his pants 24-7. Like, I also hold on, let me finish. Or his husband or your husband have his hands down his pants 24-7.

SPEAKER_04 36:28

I don't want him to like take my daughter to the doctor and his hands are just touching his balls. I'd rather he's scrolling.

unknown 36:38

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 36:39

What about you? I'd rather the scrolling too. I think the second one's super weird. I I'd hate it.

SPEAKER_04 36:44

I think when guys have their hands down their pants, it's just like in public.

SPEAKER_02 36:48

Like, what are you doing? Yeah. Even in private, what are you doing? It goes. Okay. Would you rather only talk in song for the rest of your life or only say one sentence a week for the rest of your life? Talk in song. A lot of people said song. Yeah, a lot of people said songs.

SPEAKER_04 37:02

Everyone. Let me go to our other archived ones from Wait.

SPEAKER_02 37:06

Would you rather have two husbands, but both are utterly useless? But at least you have company or be self-sufficient and single forever? I'd rather have two husbands. Love the company.

SPEAKER_04 37:19

Sounds so bad. Would you rather get the silent treatment or a fake apology? It's a silent treatment. What what should you me too? Me too. Would you rather lick a homeless man's head or drink a stranger's backwash?

SPEAKER_01 37:39

Ew. Ew. But it's like a little like cat lick. It's not like a full lick. It's just like a like a it's like a it's a it's like a little I would do that one. A little lick. I would do a little lick too.

SPEAKER_02 37:53

You do a little a homeless man's head. Okay.

SPEAKER_04 37:56

Would you rather have a mother-in-law that kisses your husband on the lips? Or have a mother-in-law that still tries to set your husband up with other women? Other women. The first one is so weird.

SPEAKER_02 38:08

Which one would you?

SPEAKER_04 38:10

Um, let me see what I answered here.

SPEAKER_02 38:12

You would rather, oh my gosh, if you say the first one, I'm really, I'm like gonna, I'm gonna be so weird at it. I said the first. Oh my god, that's so weird.

SPEAKER_04 38:20

More people said the first one. What? We got 72% of people voted.

SPEAKER_02 38:25

Can I tell you something? Yeah. If people said the first one, that means to me, that means that they're fearful that their husband leaving. Husband leaving. So, like, in my mind, if that ever happened to me, I think my husband and I would die of laughter together about it. Versus me having to see him kiss his mom on the lips, like his girlfriend.

SPEAKER_04 38:46

Yeah, it's weird.

SPEAKER_02 38:47

It's weird.

SPEAKER_04 38:49

Okay, this is the last one we're gonna do. Oh no. But you guys can tune in every Monday at on Monday and Tuesday to see more. Yeah. So we'll leave it with this banger. Would you rather every time your father-in-law comes sees you, he says, come to daddy or have a father-in-law that never remembers your name.

SPEAKER_00 39:11

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_04 39:12

Never remembers my name. Me too. Me too. That's awful. Well, thanks for tuning in, guys. We'll see. We hope everyone's well. Yeah, we hope that you guys have someone to do a wellness check with. We'll see you next week.

SPEAKER_03 39:26

Bye.