Before We Get It Right
Real moms. Real conversations. A safe corner for the messy middle- where moms can exhale, find connection, and the courage to lead with intuition.
Before We Get It Right
Building Meaningful Things When Nobody Takes You Seriously
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The podcast where we talk about motherhood, life, business, and everything in between… before we actually have it all figured out.
Today we’re talking about something that I think a lot of people experience but don’t talk about…What it’s like to try to build something meaningful when people around you don’t really take you seriously.
Whether that’s starting a business, a creative project or idea, a podcast, or just a dream you feel pulled toward. There’s usually this awkward stage where people kind of see it as a hobby and in the beginning…a lot of times people don’t see the vision. That can be really discouraging, especially when you’re putting a lot of heart and energy into it- and a lot of that energy nobody sees- just you.
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You're listening to Before We Get It Right. Real moms, real conversations for the messy middle. I'm Leah, and I'm Catherine, and this is a space for honesty, not perfection, before we get it right.
SPEAKER_01Welcome back to Before We Get It Right, the podcast where we talk about motherhood, life, business, and everything in between before we actually have it all figured out.
SPEAKER_00Today we're talking about something that I think a lot of people experience but don't talk about. What it is like to try to build something meaningful when people around you don't really take you seriously.
SPEAKER_01Whether that's starting a business, a creative project or idea, a podcast, or just a dream you feel pulled toward. There's usually this awkward stage where people kind of see it as a hobby. And in the beginning, a lot of times people don't really see the vision.
SPEAKER_00And that can be really discouraging, especially when you're putting your heart and so much energy into it. And a lot of that energy is something that nobody sees. It's something only you're seeing. So let's start at the beginning. I think every meaningful thing starts in a place where it feels really small. It's an idea in your head, a note on your phone, something you just can't stop thinking about. Or you see something online and you're like, I think I could do that. And at that stage, it's really vulnerable because it's really fragile because you're still figuring it out yourself.
SPEAKER_01Exactly. And sometimes when you start sharing it with people, the reaction is just kind of neutral or confused, or they're trying to be politely supportive, but they're not really understanding what it is you're trying to do.
SPEAKER_00And when that happens, that can make you start to question yourself: like, wait, am I crazy for thinking this matters? Is this a terrible idea? And if you have experienced this, I'm here to tell you that you are not alone. Uh, just this past weekend, I overheard my mom telling my grandpa that I'm no longer working so that I can stay at home with my kids. And there was no mention of my not only one, but two businesses that I have been running on my own. And when the people around you start saying stuff like that, it can really make you question yourself. It can feel really hurtful.
SPEAKER_01That's who. I think one of the hardest parts is realizing that people don't take things seriously until they see proof. We often only see people's reaction and support once their thing is actually successful.
SPEAKER_00Right. And uh, people understand results when something starts to make money, not beginnings. Like that's what when you say success, it's like I think that can mean so many different things, but people, those results, I think is when something actually starts selling, right?
SPEAKER_01Oh, totally. Yeah, I think we all have a different idea of what success looks like and what we're looking at whenever we start moving forward. But to most people, that does mean you're financially profiting. Which doesn't happen in the beginning.
SPEAKER_00No, it and beginnings are messy. And really slow, slow and invisible most of the time, I feel like, especially when you're building something while you're raising kids, juggling life in general, and you're just doing a lot quietly. I think sometimes people assume if something really mattered, it would already be bigger or more obvious.
SPEAKER_01But meaningful things usually grow slowly. Like when I first started Polish Prints, I did not tell anybody because I thought it would be minimized. I didn't share it on my personal page. I didn't invite friends and family to follow it. I just quietly started building it. I'd post things online, but almost in this little bubble separate from my real life. And a lot of that was because I was afraid people who knew me would look at it and think, oh, that's cute. That's just a little hobby. And yeah, it was kind of a hobby, but it was also a hobby that was aligning, bringing me joy. And I really didn't want other people's opinions. And when something is brand new, it doesn't really look impressive yet. It's small, it's messy, it really is still figuring itself out. And I think part of me felt like I had to get it to a place where it looked legitimate before I could even start sharing it with people that I know. And honestly, there were moments early on that reinforced that feeling. As I was looking over the show notes for this episode, I started thinking back to the early days and a couple moments that really did stick out to me. And this one actually was one that I've kind of forgotten about until today, but it did have a pretty lasting impact. And it was when I had maybe been doing it a little over a year, orders were picking up, and I needed some help with printing. So I went to visit a local screen printer to figure out if I should keep printing everything myself or move into having things done professionally. And the guy who owned the shop was showing me around his huge studio, talking about how big their operation was, how busy they were. And I like literally didn't even have a chance to explain to him what I was doing, how much I was selling, what the potential scaling opportunity was. And he basically was just like, Yeah, we don't really have time for little hobby projects. And it oh my gosh. Oh yeah. It was like he wanted to walk around and really show me how cool his whole place was and all the people he employed and all the things they do. And then he was like, you know, my daughter, she makes bows on Etsy a little bit and kind of sells them. And this is probably really similar to what you're doing. And I was floored, but also I was hurt and it did make me question things. Like he had already decided it wasn't serious before even hearing anything about it. And I think that that happens a lot at the beginning. People can only react to what they see right now, they can't see the vision in your head yet. Sometimes you're the only one who can see where it might go for a while.
SPEAKER_00I hope that guy's out of business. Just kidding. You should always be treating people with kindness because look at where you are now, and he would probably kill the half your business. Oh, yeah. I think there are a few reasons why people don't take what you're doing seriously. Sometimes it's simply because it's new, they do not see your vision, which is definitely something I'm learning, or because doing something different makes people uncomfortable. And if it makes them uncomfortable, just know that is a reflection of where they are in their own life, and it has nothing to do with you. I have to tell myself that a lot. I mentioned the comment earlier that my mother made that was a little hurtful to me, and she probably won't even listen to this. So if she does, hi, mom. But I think doing something different, especially for an older generation, they do not get that. And I think that makes them feel very uncomfortable. Like when my husband started his own business, his dad could just not understand it. It was like they graduated from college, they went into their jobs right away, and then they just stayed there forever. So the thought of doing something different, I think can make people feel very uncomfortable. But it has nothing to do with you.
SPEAKER_01Exactly. Unfamiliar ideas feel risky to others, and people like to project their own feelings onto others. I think you're right, especially generationally, that happens all the time.
SPEAKER_00And I've really been learning that with inventing a product that doesn't exist yet, trying to explain to people or this whole thing of new just seems really scary for others, and it's like laughable because if anyone should have fear or uncertainty in this venture, it's me. So it can be really hard to not let other people's energy affect you and whatever your vision is. While we're on emotions and other people's energies, I really think the emotional part of this is something people do not talk about enough. And that's why we're talking about it today.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, because it's not just building something, it's believing in it when there's not much validation yet. That's the hard part, really, is just continuing when the external validation just isn't there yet.
SPEAKER_00And like I said earlier, sometimes even the people closest to you don't fully understand what you're trying to do. And right now I'm really stuck in that phase of building right now. I know Leah, you're you have more years under your belt with dealing with this kind of thing. And the stage of being really new and building, that's where I'm learning that the belief has to come from you first because you are not gonna get it from anyone else.
SPEAKER_01No, and I think that's something that we have to learn, even as people, right? Is that if we continue to always seek out external validation, we're always gonna be unhappy. And especially in business. I mean, if you listened to people and their opinions all the time, not only would you never start, but you would never make it into anything because people are always gonna project that. And I think it can make it feel really lonely. You know, I don't know if you've ever seen this stuff on Instagram. I feel like I see this all the time about how when you start a business, you're gonna make more money from strangers than the people who are the closest to you.
SPEAKER_00Or just get more support from strangers. It's like you're, yeah, strangers are your biggest supporters.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, definitely. They can see it, they can see themselves in your shoes and it's inspiring to them and they want to support it and they can feel aligned with it. And I think that's one of the hardest things is that we're all kind of taught that there is this village and that we are all, you know, everyone's there to support each other and all these different ventures. But for some reason that doesn't seem to apply when you're starting a small business and it can feel really hard like you have to prove yourself more to the people who are the closest to you.
SPEAKER_00Mm-hmm. Definitely. And I think that's a part of the process. A lot of meaningful things are built in seasons where it's mostly just you believing in it. Like you said, it is lonely that has been very hard for me to wrap my head around. Luckily, I have you though, because you've been there, you've been through that, you've been through that stage. But it's hard not to take it personally, especially when you have the expectation that those closest to you are gonna be your biggest supporters and cheerleaders, right? That just makes sense that the people closest to you would be those people for you. But it just, I don't know, it just isn't like that. And I recently had this discussion with my husband about how frustrated I was feeling with people not taking me seriously. And I even said I was like, it really pisses me off that no one around me is taking me seriously. And I even lumped him into those, into that group of people, and then he listed all the different ways that he believes in me and supports what I do. And I really did. This happened actually earlier today. I had to take a step back. He was totally right, and uh it really made me realize that I think deep down it's a subconscious fear and insecurity that I'm having with myself. I don't actually think it's about other people because I'm not making a lot of money, I'm not successful yet, and do I really take myself seriously? I kind of had to step back and think about that today. I'm on this journey where I'm digging deep and I'm currently in the middle of sitting with all of that. Yeah, it's easy. Again, we're always projecting, right? I was even projecting my own insecurities on my husband earlier. So, how do we handle those moments and what do we do about it? Leah, fix it for us.
SPEAKER_01One thing I will say is that taking a step back and taking a moment and actually verbalizing how you're feeling, having that conversation with your husband, and then taking a second to be like, okay, wait, is it really how they're feeling, or is this my reaction to these comments that they're making? Because at the end of the day, I tell my husband this all the time, and the the tables are turned. And I'm telling Adam, I'm like, we can't control other people, right? Like we can tell them a million things and ask them to respond in different ways. But nine times out of 10, especially I feel like when we're navigating it with our parents, they do tend to respond consistently, a lot of times in a way that we don't want. And it makes it really hard. And it's also coming to terms with ourselves, being able to feel grounded. We've established that every meaningful thing starts in a phase where it's underestimated. A small audience, small traction, but a really big reason for existing. So, how do you keep going when you feel like nobody's really taking you seriously yet?
SPEAKER_00For me and what I just talked about, it really comes back to asking myself, does this matter to me? Why is this important to me? Why did you start this? Instead of asking, does everyone else understand it yet? Because that's where, like you said, you can't control anyone else. It you really have to focus on yourself and what you can control. How many yawns have you had today already? Where's your diet home? I'm literally drinking a coffee. When people start watching these videos, they're gonna be like, is Leah so bored and tired, or what what's going on? How many yawns can she yawn in an episode?
SPEAKER_01Oh many. I don't even know what it is about Tuesdays. Maybe it's this room. Uh vibe, vibe check, vibe check. All right. So going back to what you were saying though, I think the thing is that if you wait for validation, you will never begin. I talked about how before I started Polished Prince, or when I first started it, I didn't tell anybody. And that was really why, because I was doing it and I had this idea for how I wanted it to be. And I wasn't really thinking about this is gonna be successful. I'm gonna make a lot of money doing this. I was thinking about it like, okay, I'm gonna give this a try and see what happens. And I think when you set these expectations also for yourself, I mean, granted, like it's different because mine was very much also a hands-on project. It was there were a lot of different elements that if you're going into say a business or a project with the intention of turning it into something to make a profit, that's a little bit different. Again, if you wait for validation before you start, you will never ever begin because you're never gonna get that. People are always gonna say something negative. And most of the time, they are not even gonna take it seriously until you've already built it.
SPEAKER_00Which is kind of ironic. And uh, sometimes the people who didn't take it seriously at first are gonna be the same ones who later say, Oh, I always knew you would succeed. And it's like, Yeah, okay, thanks a lot. My show notes have a swear word in there, but I won't say it. But like I said, I'm right there in the middle of that battle of quietly building while trying not to be personally offended by those around me and feeling like they don't believe in what I'm doing, which this is exactly why I chose today's topic. And I'm here venting to all of you about it. But in that time of reflecting about where I currently am in the messy middle of this current situation, I'm also able to take that step back and do some self-reflection and realizing to really come back to the things that I can control. Those feelings, I think, are something that need to be acknowledged. It's something within you. It's something that you can control. And I think we, if we find ourselves in this messy middle and letting other people's judgments or comments make us question ourselves, we really just need to come back to ourselves.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. I mean, something that I've been thinking about is that the early stage actually is really special because you're building something for the right reasons, not for attention, not for recognition, but because you generally believe it matters. That's something alone that I've been trying to come back to with Polished Prince is getting back to how it started because I found that once I started being consumed with all these other things and kind of lost sight of what the purpose was, it stopped holding its power in the good way.
SPEAKER_00And for you, I feel like this year, I can definitely see that just how you've approached your business, how you've been showing up, how you've been designing and being more creative and doing these launches with different new things. It just seems like you've come home to yourself again within the brand.
SPEAKER_01Thank you. Yeah. And I think if the more that we all kind of do that, especially if you're starting to feel lost or you're starting to lose sight of where you're going, taking a minute to really reflect on that and come back to it without considering all these other things that are, you know, important matter, but they can take away from that, especially when you are the founder or the main person, you're doing a million different things. It is something that will always guide your way.
SPEAKER_00It's that kind of motivation that tends to create the things that last. And like you mentioned, you're coming back to the motivation, the purpose of why you started something in the first place. And I feel like right now I'm going through this huge transformation personally. I'm shedding a lot of those doubts. Like we started what the year of the fire horse last year was the year of the snake, right? Yeah, we only started this really the lunar new year was two weeks ago. So, like this, it's all fresh. I am still in my shedding phase. I'm shedding all of those doubts, judgments of others, the energy of others. And instead of judging actions, comments, reactions, I need to take a step back and observe and use that to empower me instead of thinking that it needs to be a hindrance in what I'm doing. So, what it really comes down to is believing in yourself, your vision. And when that confidence grows in that area, I feel like you don't really care about what others' opinions are or what they say, or you don't let them affect you as much. But that comes and goes, right? I mean, we still always will have our doubts, but I think when you come back to that motivation and your why and why you started it in the first place, and does it matter to you, that's when you can just keep going.
SPEAKER_01So if you're listening and you're in that early stage right now where your ideas still feel small or people don't quite get it yet, just know that a lot of meaningful things start exactly right there, quietly, slowly, without a lot of people paying attention.
SPEAKER_00And you're not alone. We have been there. You just heard I am definitely there right now, but that doesn't mean it isn't important. Sometimes the most meaningful things are built long before anyone takes them seriously. And that's what I keep telling myself. So that's what I'm gonna tell you too.
SPEAKER_01And that's kind of the whole point of the podcast, right? The messy middle, the small beginning stages of building. We are all just figuring it out.
SPEAKER_00Still, yes. We still haven't gotten it right yet. That's why we're still here. In all honesty, if you are at that beginning stage of building something meaningful, whatever that is, it doesn't have to be a small business. We want to hear from you because you are not alone. We want to be your cheerleaders and supporters because we do know how lonely that building stage is. So I'm gonna link it or write it in the show notes. But please, please email us at before we get it right at gmail.com or you can find us on Instagram, Leah's at Polish Prints. I'm at Memle Moms. You can send us a DM about what you're building. Maybe it's just an idea in your head that you want to tell someone, but you're too scared to tell someone that you know, or you're holding you're holding it back, but you really want to get it out. We are not gonna judge you. And we really would love to hear from you because, like Leah said, that is the whole reason why we're here, why we started this podcast, and we've been there. So we're here for you. Yeah, it's exactly what this space is for. Wait, before we go, do you want to do our what are we listening to? What are we reading? What are we watching? Yeah. What are you reading? I'm still reading the same book I was reading last week, but my Kindle says I'm 90% done or like 92% done of The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue. I still haven't finished it. It I've been reading it for like two months. It's not that it's bad, it's just uh I have not been great at being consistent with reading. Same. I actually haven't even started another book.
SPEAKER_01That's actually not true. So when I was at the thrift store, I picked up a copy of To Kill a Mockingbird. My daughter's really into history, and that was a book that I personally have read like four or five times in my life. And I started reading in fourth grade, but I couldn't remember some details, and I know that there's some pretty deep topics in it, so I wanted to reread it before I pass it along to her, and it definitely is gonna be in a couple years before Lily can read the book, but it has been nice to go back and read it myself. I know I've read that.
SPEAKER_00I can't think of what it's about though.
SPEAKER_01It's about a it's tone told through the eyes of a young daughter of this town lawyer, and he is his name's Atticus Finch. Yeah, I loved it. I even named I had a dog, I named it Scout, which was the main character's name.
SPEAKER_00Cute. Well, you just got back, you were on a trip with your kids. You were you went to Universal, right? So you probably haven't been watching any TV. No, I really haven't. We were so consumed. Do we talk about Bridgerton? I finished Bridgerton. Great show. Think you'd like it. I probably need to give it a try. I'm still watching Love Story. You know what? I did just start Love Story. I'm only like 15 minutes in, but I did start it. It's good. You will like it.
SPEAKER_01And then listening to, I came up with a little March podcast or a March playlist for Polished Prints. And I've just been jamming to that.
SPEAKER_00Ooh, maybe we'll have to link that. Oh yeah. Put it on our Substack. Get on over there. Thank you everyone for listening. We will see you next week. See you next week.