Ghosted, Texting Games & “Nice Guys Are Boring”

Dating is hard. Dating after COVID is weirder. Dating on apps—when you’re also trying to decode unspoken rules about texting, timing, and “not looking needy”—can feel like a full-time job.

In Episode 5, Julie and her son Jeff get real about:

• Why “reading the room” is hard enough… and reading the digital room is worse
• The texting games people play (and why Jeff refuses to play them)
• Ghosting, red flags, and learning the hard way what to walk away from
• The moment a group of women told Jeff he sounded “too nice” — and why that hit deep
• What Jeff actually wants: something simple, steady, and real… and why that seems “boring” to some people

It’s funny, blunt, and unexpectedly heartfelt—especially if you’ve ever been labeled “too much,” “too nice,” or “not mysterious enough.”

New episodes every two weeks. Follow us on Spotify, iHeart, and Apple Podcasts!

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hey, good afternoon, everybody. Welcome to the Laughing Through the Uncomfortable with Julie and her older son Jeff. This is gonna be episode five, which is gonna be cool because we've alluded to this topic the last three podcasts.

SPEAKER_02 0:16

Yeah, the the hype is there.

SPEAKER_00 0:18

Yeah. Hey, have you talked to Ben about the date you're gonna schedule to go hang out and him be your wingman?

SPEAKER_02 0:26

I thought he was joking about that, but yeah, no, he's not.

SPEAKER_00 0:30

And I'm thinking about flying Logan out, maybe. And I told Logan. I told him, I said maybe it'd be better if you're out there too. So then, you know, because aren't they both married? Logan's not married. And Ben's not gonna do anything, he's just gonna help you read the room.

SPEAKER_02 0:45

Okay. Reading the room. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 0:47

That's what a wingman will do.

SPEAKER_02 0:48

But both my brothers are good looking and honestly.

SPEAKER_00 0:50

You're good looking?

SPEAKER_02 0:51

Yeah. I look like a guy who survived both world wars.

SPEAKER_00 0:57

What is that?

SPEAKER_02 1:00

Like I look young. I look young, but I'm way more I am way more mature for my age.

SPEAKER_00 1:07

I think what we call we we term that as an old soul. Oh you've always been an old soul.

SPEAKER_02 1:13

Yeah, that's true.

SPEAKER_00 1:14

Yeah. I mean, you have.

SPEAKER_02 1:16

Yeah. Yeah. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 1:20

So today we're talking about finding how difficult it is to navigate, especially now after COVID. And after COVID. Yeah, finding not really romance, but just somebody to hang out with and have fun with. Like go to, you know, go to breakfast, go to movies, maybe your life partner. Yeah, but maybe like just build a friendship with it as a girl, and then maybe it'll grow into more kind of a thing.

SPEAKER_02 1:44

Yeah. I have more of those and than actually straight up going into straight up into the relationship relationship.

SPEAKER_00 1:50

Okay. So what all right. So here's where we're going at. Okay. So over the past this is where this podcast came about. Over the past five years, I would say you would call me.

SPEAKER_01 2:03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 2:04

Because of the dating apps and stuff that you were on. So many.

SPEAKER_02 2:07

And I they're just so many unique characters.

SPEAKER_00 2:10

And and you were having issues with you didn't understand certain cues and things like that. Yeah. So here we are. So all the different dating apps that you're on throughout the years. All right. So what do you think? What's going on? Tell us about the dating apps. Tell us about your experience. Give us some examples. By the way, we're not mentioning names.

SPEAKER_02 2:32

No, we're not mentioning any names. But there are a lot, though.

SPEAKER_00 2:34

Well, not a lot. It's like maybe seven or eight.

SPEAKER_02 2:37

No, there's good, there's at least good top three that I've really been on, and they're quite annoying. Is it a it's annoying because you well, you have to understand that there's like a sh there's like a like underlying like reading, like for example, being near and I divergent, you have to read the room physically, but you also have to read the digital room. This is my my sociology degree comes in a little bit. I have to I've been talking to a lot of my female friends about and also my sister-in-laws and my brothers. Apparently, there are three different types of textures. And you can I've been watching a lot of videos, and it's just on on my for you page, my in and just my feed of just like how to pronounce on Instagram and YouTube, YouTube, Instagram, and all that, and it's just annoying. It's like, oh, you don't want to text too much because it'll seem you desperate. And you don't want to love bomb, you don't want to be in in these situationships, so so much in the digital world that I'm like, this is annoying. I'm just gonna text the way I text.

SPEAKER_00 3:47

So basically, here's a person who has a hard time in face-to-face reading social, and now you're supposed to read digital, which is difficult, right? Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 3:58

Text messages are so plain, but you have to like in a way interpret, like you don't, you can't, you you have to be mysterious, you have to be, you can't do a whole paragraph, but the if the female likes you, they'll text your female.

unknown 4:16

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_02 4:17

There are so many different types of textures on these dating apps, and just just a foundation of some of these girls that I've been went on dates with, and I actually had a very like good stretch relationship. You thought it was good? I thought I was good. Yeah, like good three months, and then what happens? I that's the that's the thing. It's just sometimes that's the other story down the line that I went to these other dating events.

SPEAKER_00 4:43

So we're talking about it right now. So let's start, let's start with the nitty-gritty. Okay, so you so you meet people on the dating apps.

SPEAKER_02 4:50

Yeah, there's this one girl that I met back in last year of July. She was a nanny, and we met on this dating app, we've been texting. She is from another country, and we've been starting texting, and we bonded over Italian food. I'm like, that's fantastic. So this is also like three months after I got my own place. I was full of confidence, I was ready to conquer the world, I was doing my master's too, and I'm like, I can I can balance full-time school and dating life. So this just how you taught me, right? Just time management. Yeah. And I asked for our number, we went out, went on for our first date, and but if I remember, this was there's a lot, there was a lot of red flags with this person, right?

SPEAKER_00 5:44

So they ignored them. Okay, so we're not, yeah. So we're not naming names. Here's the thing. Here's the rules. We're not naming names, we're not naming dating apps. Basically, he's on like seven of them. Just go and scroll top seven, and those are the seven dating apps he's probably on, or three or four. But how many are you on? Four?

SPEAKER_02 6:02

Currently, I I deleted them all. I'm only on two right now.

SPEAKER_00 6:05

Okay, those here you go.

SPEAKER_02 6:06

I had to pay the full subscription for that bullshit. 40 to 40, 40 to 50 dollars is bullshit.

SPEAKER_00 6:13

I know, especially when you're, yeah, no. Okay, so yeah, okay, so you're you know, you're on these dating apps, and then so this person, we're gonna we're not naming names. Yes, we're gonna use A A B C D E F G H I J. We're gonna use the alphabet. So Jeff has a Jeff has a a legend that he's using with the girl's name so we can remember what letter we gave them. So this person, there was a lot of red flags. So I know that when you met her, you were excited, and she seemed really nice. Yes, but okay, so here's number one red flag for me. She, or you know, she didn't want you to you had to meet, which is fine, because here's the other thing you gotta think about their perspective too, because they don't really know, you know, if you could like, you know, hit them over the head in the coffee shop and put them in your trunk and then drive them somewhere and murder them. So I understand why some people are hesitant.

SPEAKER_02 7:06

I understand your I understand your argument here, mother.

SPEAKER_00 7:10

But there were red flags.

SPEAKER_02 7:11

There were many red flags.

SPEAKER_00 7:12

But after about okay, after one like a month, I was like, okay, well, she's that's good. You guys you guys met, you guys went to dinner.

SPEAKER_02 7:18

Okay, let me tell the audience what's going on. So the red flags, just label red flags. Yes, rebel. So girl A, we met on the Demon app, and then I actually had to travel 45 minutes outside the Bay Area to meet up with her at this really crappy Chinese place.

SPEAKER_00 7:37

We're not, we're not we're not gonna name the restaurant name either.

SPEAKER_02 7:41

No, it's just really like rundown, crappy food. I was just excited. I bought flowers, I was dressed really nice, and oh yeah, a little footnote here. Every girl that I've been on a date dresses very casually. And I tell and I tell them, like, hey, I'm dressing nice and so forth. And they always dress casually. I'm like, all right.

SPEAKER_00 8:01

Maybe they're comfortable in casual clothes.

SPEAKER_02 8:03

Casual clothes, right? She comes in. I'm like, all right, cool, we chat. And then the story was the first, the first red flag, this is it. Her first baseline story was basically telling me all about her family, about her family and stuff like that. I'm like, all right, cool. Then after the date, I think it went well, and then I brought her flowers, and then unexpectedly, like, oh, I didn't know that was an expectation. And I'm like, I just want to get you flowers because I think you are beautiful and so forth. So we after that, and the dinner only lasts 30 minutes.

SPEAKER_00 8:32

And you're a gentleman.

SPEAKER_02 8:33

The dinner only lasts 30 minutes because apparently her host family wanted to call her back, and she and that's the other red flag. Her host family, she doesn't want her host family want to like have her men meet them, and so weird.

SPEAKER_00 8:48

Yeah, well, I I mean I guess I mean if it's a job And I get it, I get it.

SPEAKER_02 8:53

But okay, so carry on after the dinner, whatever. I kissed her, I asked her, Can I kiss you? She said, Yes. Sweet. We kissed a little, little grate. I left. We took a picture. That was like my wallpaper, right?

SPEAKER_00 9:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 9:09

Three months down the line.

SPEAKER_00 9:10

So you're seeing each other casually every now and then. Casually, and then coffee.

SPEAKER_02 9:14

Going to coffee. And then I invited her over my place. We I cooked her, I finally cooked her, I finally cooked her Italian food and she loved it. She loved Tortellini, so I cooked her tortellini. And everything went well. But after that, it was just I felt like a therapist, like constantly complaining. Well, I know she's a good thing. She constantly.

SPEAKER_00 9:34

Well, not only that, but I know that there were several instances where she tried to get you to pay her or get money from her. She asked you about, she hinted that she needed money, right? Several times. Several times.

SPEAKER_02 9:47

But I'm I'm a broke dude.

SPEAKER_00 9:49

And told me.

SPEAKER_02 9:50

I told her that many times.

SPEAKER_00 9:51

And and well, I know. So those are red flags. So basically the last part was she she asked you to send money, and you're like, I don't think this is working, and then you cut it off, right?

SPEAKER_02 10:02

The reason why is that she went on a girls' trip in August.

SPEAKER_00 10:07

Oh, that's right.

SPEAKER_02 10:08

In San Diego.

SPEAKER_00 10:11

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_02 10:14

And her I she told me she was sleeping over with her ex-boyfriend. Not ex-boyfriend. She told me she had a friend in San Diego.

SPEAKER_00 10:24

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's right, that's right.

SPEAKER_02 10:25

Then apparently her dog was sick and stuff like that. And then she then came back and I wanted to spend time with her after she got back, and she, like, sorry, the host family, whatever. I'm like, all right.

SPEAKER_00 10:39

But they went on, but I don't want to draw on this one person.

SPEAKER_02 10:41

No, no, no, no, I don't want to draw. I just want to, I just, okay.

SPEAKER_00 10:45

There were just a lot of red flags.

SPEAKER_02 10:46

There's a lot of red flags. But the thing is, she texted me that she slept with her ex in San Diego.

SPEAKER_00 10:52

There you go. All right.

SPEAKER_02 10:53

And she like, I broke the shower hand, whatever. And then okay. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 10:57

Let's move on.

SPEAKER_02 10:58

Okay. Girl, girl, A, girl B. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 11:01

Okay, so now we're moving on. But no, I'm just, I don't want. So here's the thing. We don't, I don't want really specifics other than the fact that I don't care about what they do, but we're going to talk about what you do and the fact that you said the digital world. And it's hard for you to know digital world. It's hard for you to navigate the social world too, right? So, okay, so for that, for you, I think it was most of us would have picked up these red flags, especially since all of that stuff, we would have picked it up, right?

SPEAKER_01 11:29

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 11:30

Especially when they're asking you for money every now, like the Uber and all of that stuff, right? Yeah. Which is fine. I mean, that's like a huge red flag.

SPEAKER_02 11:38

Yeah. I mean very huge red flag. 50 bucks.

SPEAKER_00 11:40

I mean, one time, yeah, but one time is one time is fine. Like, yeah, okay, we'll get it, you know. But a second or third time, or you know, and then saying about the shower, you know, the shower head, and can you can you send me money for a shower head? I don't have the money, that kind of stuff, right? So those are the those are the things that I want to talk about. Like, like you, you know, I because I was telling you through the three months, every time something happened, I'm like, Jeff, that doesn't sound normal. Jeff, that doesn't sound normal.

SPEAKER_02 12:05

You gave me the courage to break it up.

SPEAKER_00 12:08

Yeah. You gave me only because it didn't sound normal.

SPEAKER_02 12:10

Yeah, thank God.

SPEAKER_00 12:12

But like my spidey senses.

SPEAKER_02 12:13

Yeah, because you're a mother bear.

SPEAKER_00 12:15

No, I have a lot of life experience with con artists. I used to, you know, that's what I used to, I used to investigate those people. Okay. Okay. So then the second person, all right. So I don't want to go room. I don't want to go, I guess I don't want to go like person by person, but I'm gonna set this one up so we can kind of stay on track. The second person, you went to breakfast, it was you went to lunch, it was awesome. No, she that was girl C. Okay, whatever. Okay, girl C, we're skipping over B right now. What we'll go back.

SPEAKER_01 12:43

Okay, girl C.

SPEAKER_00 12:44

So you went, you had a great lunch, you went to lunch, you had a great lunch, and then you texted a couple hours after the lunch. Listen, it was great to see you, right?

SPEAKER_02 12:55

She stood me up.

SPEAKER_00 12:57

Okay, no, what about the one where you had the hamburger and she had the hamburger?

SPEAKER_02 13:01

That was girl B.

SPEAKER_00 13:02

Okay, so we're gonna go to B. I didn't skip over. You did.

SPEAKER_02 13:05

No, I didn't. I didn't Okay.

SPEAKER_00 13:09

Okay, can we I'm going to this one.

SPEAKER_02 13:13

Okay, Girl B. Yeah, girl B.

SPEAKER_00 13:16

You had a great lunch.

SPEAKER_02 13:17

We had we had uh it was dinner. Okay, you had a great dinner at this fantastic restaurant.

SPEAKER_00 13:22

Okay, and then afterwards you texted her and said you had a great time. Yes, did she text you back?

SPEAKER_02 13:26

She texted me back, yeah. And then I texted her this morning, yes, and that's when you talked to Kat Katie.

SPEAKER_00 13:34

Yes, that's what Katie and when did Katie tell you about that? And you had no idea, right? What did Katie say?

SPEAKER_02 13:39

She told me to kind of wait a couple of days and then text her.

SPEAKER_00 13:44

Because why?

SPEAKER_02 13:46

I don't I I forgot.

SPEAKER_00 13:47

Because you look needy, oh yeah, and then you look clingy and desperate, and that is one of those things, right? Where you text right after. So you either don't text right after and you wait till the next day and say, hey, I'm not sure.

SPEAKER_02 13:58

I still don't understand that.

SPEAKER_00 13:59

That I know.

SPEAKER_02 14:01

I just I'm really happy and really excited to see this person, and we had a great time. We love the boat, we we have great things in common. We have we like the same food, we were just really introverted people. I just don't understand why. Well, obviously, it it's the needy part, but I just like if you really like someone, I'm like, hey, but I understand how it can be.

SPEAKER_00 14:28

But I don't understand why people think it's needy. It's just too big.

SPEAKER_02 14:31

It's a game. It's a game.

SPEAKER_00 14:32

But I don't understand why people play those games.

SPEAKER_02 14:35

I don't know. I don't understand.

SPEAKER_00 14:38

So then what happened when she ghosted you after that? Which was a shame, right?

SPEAKER_02 14:42

Yeah, I waited a week. I gave her I gave her 48 hours, and then after a week, and then after that, I just delete her number and block her.

SPEAKER_00 14:48

Yeah, okay, so moved on. So now we're on to Girl C, not to confuse anybody. Yeah, now we're on to Girl C. Now, was this the one with the picture?

SPEAKER_02 14:58

Yes. So we were so again, another dating app. Met, I asked for her phone number, and then we started texting off right away. I'm like, that's fantastic. We I didn't realize at the time, but when I explained this to you, you told me over the phone that it was a little bit creepy.

SPEAKER_00 15:21

Well, you can for first of all, you wanted you were texting and you wanted to meet for coffee because she lived in your area.

SPEAKER_02 15:26

Yeah, literally. The town over.

SPEAKER_00 15:28

Yeah, town over. And she's like, no, no, no, no. I, you know, don't feel comfortable meeting you for coffee. Let's text some more. And you're like, okay, that sounds great. And and you're like, okay, so you guys started to text more.

SPEAKER_02 15:44

Right? Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 15:46

Everything was going great.

SPEAKER_02 15:47

Yeah, and I texted her.

SPEAKER_00 15:48

And then what happened?

SPEAKER_02 15:50

So I apparently she loves fashion too. We both love the same object. We love the same subject. So I thought, I'm like, you know what? If you love fashion, here's a picture of my outfit. What are you wearing?

SPEAKER_00 16:06

Did you text her a picture of your outfit?

SPEAKER_02 16:08

I forgot to because I was at work. A client basically came in the last fucking minute and I'm like, and I'm like, mother.

SPEAKER_00 16:16

So you sent her a text saying, I forgot to send my pic. No, but what you said was here's my outfit, but you didn't send the picture.

SPEAKER_01 16:22

No.

SPEAKER_00 16:23

And then you asked her to send you a picture of what she was wearing.

SPEAKER_01 16:26

Yes. And I was such an idiot when I called you and then you told me and I told you what happened.

SPEAKER_00 16:30

I felt like here's the thing though. You had no ill intentions at all. No, not at all. You were probably wearing one of your wonderful four-piece suits or whatever or three-piece suits, you know, that you, you know, put together with your because you know, you work at a very high-end store.

SPEAKER_01 16:50

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 16:50

And so you're you need to dress, you know, very you know, because your clients look to you to put their clothing together, right?

SPEAKER_01 17:00

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 17:00

So you dress a lot of people, yeah. A lot of famous people in the Bay Area. Yeah. But the the thing that I don't understand, and you know, I think that that's by the way, later on, let me talk to you, because there actually is an app for people that are neurodivergent on this, on everywhere, on the whole from neurodivergent, you know, because neurodivergent is just means that your brain works differently than anybody else. So I gotta tell you that app. And I'm hoping that in the future we're gonna get that person that created the app. Maybe they'll agree to come on the podcast so we could talk about it, right?

SPEAKER_01 17:35

That'd be fantastic.

SPEAKER_00 17:36

But I guess what I guess because you didn't you didn't mean in person that person doesn't know who you know who you are. Because once they meet you, they're gonna know that you're this, you know, really nice, caring, innocent, you know, person.

SPEAKER_01 17:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 17:53

So then she ghosted you.

SPEAKER_02 17:55

Just immediately ghosted me. And after that, I'm like, I'm like, what the fuck did I just do? And thank God you explain it to me, and I'm like, great. I lost I think I lost a potential person I could be with, but that's the thing that really annoys me, and I'm frustrated with myself.

SPEAKER_00 18:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 18:15

The day goes on.

SPEAKER_00 18:17

Yeah, they life goes on. Well, you know, here, and what did I tell you about that? Every interaction, what do you do? You learn.

SPEAKER_02 18:24

I learn, and we adapt, and we just keep walking forward.

SPEAKER_00 18:28

Yeah, exactly. But the other thing is you went out with one of your friends, female friends, who's really good friend of yours, right?

SPEAKER_02 18:35

Yeah, at work, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 18:36

And she, y'all went somewhere downtown, and there was this dating thing going on.

SPEAKER_02 18:43

You never knew about it. No, you did not know about it.

SPEAKER_00 18:45

So you walked into this bar and there was this event going on. Yeah, and there was this table full of 30-year-olds. Oh god, divorce, they were divorced.

SPEAKER_02 18:52

Uh I assume a few of them.

SPEAKER_00 18:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 18:55

They look like it.

SPEAKER_00 18:56

Yeah, right. And you were talking to them, you start a conversation. So tell let's like tell us about, and then here's the other thing. You 30-year-olds who are rude to people who are asking honest conversation. Shame on you, by the way. Mama bears coming out. Shame on you. I'm sorry, that was my public notice for all of those people who tend to try and be mean to people, just to make other people. And by the way, 30-year-olds who are divorcees, according to Ben and his good friend, not to name any names. Apparently, he went to bars and he had the scope on it because divorcees just, you know, you know what I mean? They want to go out with younger men, kind of a thing. Yeah. So tell us of what happened.

SPEAKER_02 19:35

Well, we went out, my friend and I, and it was this fan, it was this new bar, right? We just we just got off work and we were just celebrating our month of bonuses. We just got our we just got a thousand dollar bonus, and I'm like, all right, cool. She went out to get her drink. She was gone for a little bit, about a half an hour. And then she sat back down and then she told me, I'm like, hey, there's a group of girls behind you. Maybe you can ask them. They're in our in our same age group. I'm like, okay. Sounds like she's a really good ring wing woman. Oh yeah. She's like, she's like a fucking pit bull. She's amazing. An absolute, honestly, one of my best friends, honestly. And I asked, she basically gave me a whole list. I'm like, hey, ask them this and tell them what they think. I'm like, all right. I told him, like, like, hi, hi, girls. My name is Jeff. I was a little buzzed. I had like three, I had three margaritas. Luckily, I I was able to drive safely home.

SPEAKER_00 20:41

You didn't drive. You went to BART on the side.

SPEAKER_02 20:42

I went to Bart home and walked home.

SPEAKER_00 20:44

Yes. That's what he means by drive. He was able to navigate himself walking to BART, get the ticket in BART, and then walk on BART, and then he lives, yeah, and then walk home from BART from there. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 20:57

So I told him this.

SPEAKER_00 20:58

Or Uber home.

SPEAKER_02 20:59

I am a single Italian man with an 800 credit score, no debt, and I drive and I live. And I'm like, the first thing they all told me was like, you can afford the you can afford the Bay Area. I'm like, yeah, I use my I use my money well and I don't spend it on stupid crap. And I l you learn, and then it's like, really? It's like, oh, it's like, what would you and like one of them's like, what would you do? What do you want in a relationship? I'm like, well, what I I had described. I'm like, after you come home, I'll pour you a glass of wine. We'll both sit on the couch. We'll like have just have a present, right? I'll listen to your day, right? And then we'll sit on the couch on the blanket, heated blanket, right? And then and watch a movie because all we want to do is just be with each other. And the women had the audacity, told me, I'm like, oh my God, you're so boring. I'm like, oh my God, be toxic. We like Man has a little bit like we don't want nice men, we don't want kind men, we want men that will just treat us awful. I'm like, are you serious? I'm like, I look to my friend, I look to her, I'm like, what, like, what the fuck? And then she's like, honestly, they have a point. I can't. Like, what do you mean? Like, what do you mean? I'm like, well, Jeff, you're you are kind of kind. I've always thought women want a nice person to take care of them, right? But apparently they'd rather have bad guys and just treat them wrong. And it's like, and then after that, it hurt my feelings so much.

SPEAKER_00 22:39

Why did it hurt your feelings?

SPEAKER_02 22:40

Because I'm like, they want to tap a guy that would literally, like, I'm afraid to say, like, might beat them.

SPEAKER_00 22:49

And like I'm like, what?

SPEAKER_02 22:51

I'm like.

SPEAKER_00 22:53

I think it's because people are so used to being treated like people are so rigid. I think it's because there are so many people out there playing the game that people forgot to be decent to each other. And when they get a decent person, they forget that that's what they're looking for, right?

SPEAKER_02 23:09

It's like, and then and then apparently the trend from all these girls that I've been seeing and dating, apparently they're all like injured, they got injured by the previous relationships. And when you see somebody like me with a very kind soul, kind heart, the thing is, I'm not going to fix you, I'm going to heal you.

SPEAKER_00 23:31

Well, yeah, through your kindness.

SPEAKER_02 23:33

Right? But the thing is, what happens is they always find someone better.

SPEAKER_00 23:38

What do you mean by better?

SPEAKER_02 23:40

I had I we just me and my best friend at work, we were talking about this, right? From our previous experiences and so forth. And apparently I attract people who are broken in a way that need to be healed. And I'm like, okay. And I told him a few people that I have kind of healed and found out like there's good guys. They always find someone to break them again.

SPEAKER_00 24:11

How do you know that?

SPEAKER_02 24:13

Because they text me about it.

SPEAKER_00 24:14

Oh, do they do? And what do they tell you? What did they say? This is news to me. You've never told me this. So what did they say? That I didn't know.

SPEAKER_02 24:24

They they just and I'm like, when I find out.

SPEAKER_00 24:26

What did they say? Like, I didn't know how I could have had it when I was saying you.

SPEAKER_02 24:29

No, I just like I didn't know that you still had my number. Why are you texting me?

SPEAKER_00 24:35

Okay, but what do they say to you about how they how do you know that they're with another person that broke them again? I guess that's the question.

SPEAKER_02 24:44

Basically, they post shit on Facebook and Instagram.

SPEAKER_00 24:48

That they're with other people instead.

SPEAKER_02 24:49

Yeah, other people.

SPEAKER_00 24:50

But why are you following them then?

SPEAKER_02 24:52

I'm not following them. I'm not I'm barely on the apps, and they they like they send me notifications, a little poke. I I had an old, old person that I used to go out with and they actually texted me back and started giving me all these hot heart emojis and stuff. And I'm like, don't you have kids? Why are you crawling back to me? You wanted to marry that dude.

SPEAKER_00 25:14

It's wait, oh, okay. This is back in college. Yeah, now I know who we're talking about. Is she still married?

SPEAKER_02 25:20

Yeah. Maybe she's just And I found my old Instagram page too.

SPEAKER_00 25:23

Okay, well, maybe she's just trying to be like, hey.

SPEAKER_02 25:27

You're married. Stop hugging guys and stop sending the hard emojis.

SPEAKER_00 25:31

That's true. No, I see. I raised you right.

SPEAKER_02 25:33

I'm like, I'm not committing adultery.

SPEAKER_00 25:35

So now we're gonna go. Okay, so let's talk about the dating app. So what are we doing now? What's your plan? We gotta get this going. Like we like, right? Like you need to we need to figure it out. And I don't yeah. So what's your plan?

SPEAKER_02 25:46

Well, just to I just want to get out there.

SPEAKER_00 25:51

So just continue doing what you're doing, I guess.

SPEAKER_02 25:55

And then most of them when you match, you match with a like a nice cute girl, right? And you and you re and you scroll all the way down, and they have a lot of images, and I'm like, why are there guys in the picture? I'm like, is that your brother? Mom, it's mom, it's never a friend. Never. I always hear stories from my other female friends saying that there's always a second guy. Always. Because girls will always have their boyfriend, but always have secondaries.

SPEAKER_00 26:28

Not not me.

SPEAKER_02 26:30

I have not found one girl that had not. One of my friends, even one of my friends told me that she cheated on her boyfriend from my previous work.

SPEAKER_00 26:39

Oh.

SPEAKER_02 26:40

And I'm like, what's going on? But on for the for these dating nets, honestly, I just I wanted to delete it, but all something always tells me, don't delete it. There might be someone around the corner. You just have to keep moving forward. You just have to get through the thorns to get to the beauty.

SPEAKER_00 27:00

Yeah. And maybe you just need to like build up your filters a little bit more with, you know, understanding and being able to see those red flags.

SPEAKER_01 27:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 27:09

And then not put up with it and just say, see you later bye. Right. Because you're worth more than that. You're, you know, like you said, you're kind-hearted that, you know, wants to, you know, have conversation and listen. And not a lot of guys want to do that. So you just need to wait and find the right person. Just sift through all, like you said, you know, all of the, you know, what did you say? Sift through all the ugly to get to the beautiful or whatever.

SPEAKER_02 27:35

Shift through the shorns to get to the beauty.

SPEAKER_00 27:38

There you go. All right. So, and then there's this, this, this other app. I'm not gonna say the name of it until I talk to the person who created it, but it's for people who are neurodivergent. And so you log on and it's just like a conversation at first. So it's not like you go date. It's just kind of like to, it's not not only for dating, but it's also to meet more people or more people that are like you, that are, you know, functioning in the world, but having difficulty, you know, navigating the world. So I'll have to give that to you. I never I didn't talk to you about it, so I'm gonna have to talk to you about it. You know what I mean? Okay, yeah, later.

SPEAKER_01 28:14

Definitely.

SPEAKER_00 28:15

So until next time, though, you are on the dating app, swiping left and swiping right.

SPEAKER_02 28:20

A continuous journey. Continuous journey to find the right partner.

SPEAKER_00 28:26

There you go. All right, all right, so that does it for us for today. So until next time, with laughing through the uncomfortable, uh, it's Julie and Jeff. Come back next time.