Left on Read, BART Surprises & RBF

Julie and Jeff are back and nothing is off limits. This week Jeff spots something on BART that he absolutely cannot unsee, we dissect the fine art of ghosting back someone who ghosted you first, and Julie breaks down why a compliment about your eyes might actually be an invitation for a conversation— if you know how to read it.

Plus — is Jeff's resting bitch face keeping him from meeting his person? And does dressing well actually work against you? Mom weighs in, as always, with zero filter.

Grab your wine, order the pizza, and laugh through the uncomfortable with us. 

New here? Start with Episode 7 — the "You embarrassed me" episode that started it all.

New episodes every two weeks. Follow us on Spotify, iHeart, and Apple Podcasts!

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Hey, good morning afternoon, everybody, and welcome to Laughing Through the Uncomfortable with Julie and Jeff. So before we go any further, I just wanted to let everybody know that we were doing a weekly podcast, and that this is this being our twelfth week. We actually skipped last week and we're gonna be going to every other week. I think that that would be Jeff actually you suggested it because of the you said your life wasn't as exciting as it used to be when you were younger.

SPEAKER_00 0:29

Well, all the news is everything is just attention on the news. It's like, yeah, my life my life is I should say adulting. It's not that exciting. And they I have a notebook of everything that I try to keep. So yeah, uh every two we every every other week is better than every week because it's like it keeps keeps the excitement up there.

SPEAKER_01 0:49

Yeah, and it's and I mean you're in school and you work full-time, and it's really hard for you to you know, not n necessarily find time for me, your mom. But uh but anyway, so we're going to every of the week, just so you you know everybody out there who's following and listening. That way it'll give you an opportunity to go back and listen to episodes one through eleven, and you can catch up on everything, especially the two-parter that we finished a couple weeks ago with Ben. Gave Jeff some advice, and Jeff learned a little bit about reading s cues and signs. Anyway, so what?

SPEAKER_00 1:24

No, it's going back to that. I keep I keep having thoughts of what what I could have done differently with that date with the with the bioengineer, man. It's it kind of sucks. I really hate my brain sometimes. It's just like, hey, a what if situation? You dick, it happens like three weeks ago or like two weeks ago.

SPEAKER_01 1:42

Okay, but you know what that you'd live and learn. I mean, there's a lot of times, like we said, there's a lot of times where I've been in situations where I think not with dating or anything, but just in general, where I think I could have said something different, or anyway. But what's interesting was um last week when we decided to take a rest on the podcast, we actually had a conversation about the girl, your friend, Allie, uh, and the ghosting and how you embarrassed her in the restaurant. Everybody, I think that's episode four. You gotta listen to it. Now it was like eight months, and you didn't hear from her. And she texted you out of the blue in January, left you a voice message, and you kind of text her back.

SPEAKER_00 2:23

I did not text her back.

SPEAKER_01 2:24

You wait, you didn't respond or call back?

SPEAKER_00 2:26

I didn't respond at all because the thing is, here's the thing. If you don't I I don't care. I really don't care. I kind of lost her personally in my in my like repertoire of friends. I do not think of her as a friend anymore. So I'd rather protect my peace. If you if you're really embarrassed by me, just tell me in it, just tell me instead of like actually I can have a phone call with another friend in in there. I like I I don't care. Like I I there's plenty of people I can meet up with and I can make friends somewhere else. So I'd rather just leave it that.

SPEAKER_01 3:01

No, that sounds good.

SPEAKER_00 3:03

But so let's just summarize.

SPEAKER_01 3:07

So she left you a voice message saying her and B were driving somewhere and the conversation came up with you, and so she called you to see how you're doing to checking in and everything was good. And so you just let that go. Yeah. You didn't like text her back saying, Hey, got your voice message. You just kind of let it go.

SPEAKER_00 3:24

Wave it off like it was nothing, like a fly in the wind. Like I have school, I have a full-time job. I have a family. You know, it's like shit. Sorry, I'm not gonna be your melodrama.

SPEAKER_01 3:34

No, I know, but what I'm saying is for those of you who didn't listen to that podcast, you have to listen to it. I think that was episode four with being ghosted. Um, so that was the first time she'd reached out for like eight months to Jeff after that. So you let it go, you just didn't respond. But what's interesting was she texted you last week.

SPEAKER_00 3:53

Yeah, she did. And uh just if it felt so draining, just talking to her felt so draining. I like, I don't want you in my life.

SPEAKER_01 4:02

But you didn't talk to her, you just text back and forth, but just yeah, just for a few moments.

SPEAKER_00 4:06

And I it it really it okay. So when we had our conversation, it just it kind of put a really bad taste in my mouth just talking about it with you and dad at dinner table. And it's just like I really wish we'd never had that conversation because deep down, I just did not want to bring that home, right? It's like like what a bitch.

SPEAKER_01 4:25

Okay. Well, okay, so clarify, she was a B because of She's just a mean person, she doesn't know it. Because she called you in January, you left it alone, you didn't reach out, and then now in March she texted you. But what's interesting was she texts saying, Hey, checking in. You're like, Oh, you decided to kick back and you said okay, but what was interesting with her second text to you was Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 4:47

All about her.

SPEAKER_01 4:48

All about her, but also that she broke up with her boyfriend. Fuck. I know.

SPEAKER_00 4:52

Like, I like I'm not a fucking okay. First of all, I okay, that's why I really hate bringing this conversation up with you and dad, because obviously I hate, I don't have social, I don't have social awareness or anything like that. I I need someone to tell me, like, why are you okay, why is this, why is this significant? Okay, why are you telling me? Well, you just tell me, like, hey, I broke with my boyfriend. Don't add like like, hey, first of all, when someone asks you, how are you doing, it's a greeting, not an American way, it's a greeting. It doesn't you say everything off your chest.

SPEAKER_01 5:27

Well, it depends on what level of friendship you are, right? Because like me and my really, really best friend, you know, if if I text her, hey, you know, haven't talked to you in a bit, how are you? She knows that I'm actually asking because I really care and I want to know about her, like what had happened, if she, you know, if any of the kids, what happened to the kids, what happened to the husband? Like I and she knows when she texts me and she's like, Hey, haven't, you know, haven't talked to you in a few days or a week, how are you? I know that she actually really wants me to, you know, text back. Oh, I'm doing great. Except, you know, I had four flat tires, I ran out of gas, and you know, this whole day is horrible because it all happened in one day, right? Yeah, your level of friendship with this girl, you haven't even talked to her. So when you said, So how you have you been, that is a level of agreeding of that doesn't deserve the paragraph or two that she sent back about how horrible her life is going, as opposed to I've been good, you know, could be better, dot dot dot. How are you? Right. And I think that that's just I think I think unfortunately she's going through a difficult time and she I don't know, who knows? Anyway, I just think it's interesting that she texted you out of the blue in March. All right. Next I will let since this is a horrible thing and we want to drop it because obviously it doesn't bring you joy. Her friendship never brought you joy.

SPEAKER_00 6:47

It's like every thought, it's toxic, and it just the thought of it just drives me nuts. I'd be like screaming in the fucking mirror. And just like, I don't want, I don't want anything to do with you. I'm sorry. I'm just cutting the ribbon there. I I left her on red too. Like she she texted me. I left her on red. See, I tell, like, you know what? I did your advice, I took your advice from the dinner table. Hey, where you want to go, get drinks and all that. I'm like, cool. Like, oh yeah, we could totally blah blah blah. Like, we could totally get drinks with the uh with our other friends, and we could do that. After that, I left her on red and never really responded back.

SPEAKER_01 7:23

Oh man, you should have said you what you should you should have said what me and dad suggested.

SPEAKER_00 7:27

Yeah, I did, but the thing is, I don't want that bitchy energy to No, but what I'm saying is you should have texted her back.

SPEAKER_01 7:34

So make okay, well, you pick the place. You make sure you choose somewhere where I won't embarrass you. That's what you should have text.

SPEAKER_00 7:41

But the thing is, I am kindness, okay? I don't I'm still nice. That's my problem, mom. You write me too well.

SPEAKER_01 7:50

I can't.

SPEAKER_00 7:50

I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_01 7:51

No, it's okay. That's probably bad advice because I live by I live by this mantra. I live, I honestly do live by this mantra. That if it makes me feel good to type it, like in an email or a text, then I probably shouldn't send it.

SPEAKER_00 8:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 8:07

Because it probably isn't going to make the other person feel good. And that's not good. So I I usually what I do is I'll I'll type out a text message to somebody that really made me mad. And this text message is probably mean or snarky returning back an answer that just makes me feel good. I'll delete the text, I won't send it, or even an email. I just I won't send it. All right. So I mean, okay. So that's just I just think it's interesting that she texts you in March, like a couple weeks ago, and you left her.

SPEAKER_00 8:34

Well, the thing is, I can't see I can't even hang out with my other friend because every time I try to invite her or anything like that, she always makes up some fucking excuse to call out. Like, oh, I broke my ankle on the train, I got in an accident, my work, my blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I'm like, I just stopped texting her. I'm like, all right, you text me when you're not having your life to not together. I'm sorry. Mom, honestly, I am so glad that our family is blessed because I am absolutely peaceful right now. And it would suck to have a chaotic person or whatever they have, not have their life together to come in and fuck up everything.

SPEAKER_01 9:11

Yeah, and you know, you're 28 and you're learning this lesson, or you're gonna be 30, sorry. And you're learning this.

SPEAKER_00 9:18

I think of myself as 30 already, so like I don't really care. I please bring a fucking 30, 30 pig, please. I'm not 29, I'm not 28, fucking 30 for two fucking years. I don't care. 29, 30, I don't care. I'm 30 this year. I don't give a fuck. I feel 30. My bones feel like fucking 76 year olds. My bones crack! Like Rice Krispie's the other day.

SPEAKER_01 9:41

Well, what I'm saying, what I'm saying is at 30, you learn that lesson of you know, toxic people in your life, where a lot of people don't learn that lesson until they're like 40 or 45, where they realize that toxic person doesn't bring them joy. So why are you in my life? Right?

SPEAKER_00 9:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 9:57

What do you mean your phone is cracked?

SPEAKER_00 9:58

What do you mean you can't pay the fucking rent? Get uh sell the feed to the fucking photos.

SPEAKER_01 10:03

What are you talking? What are you talking about?

SPEAKER_00 10:07

Nothing random.

SPEAKER_01 10:09

Was that like a south park? Was that a sound?

SPEAKER_00 10:11

Yeah, south park shit. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 10:13

So what happened to your phone?

SPEAKER_00 10:15

Um, nothing, nothing happened to my phone. Everything's good. Oh, that's her. That was my other friend's fucking excuse. Oh, she used that excuse. I'm like, you're texting on your fucking phone. The fuck? Are you on your laptop or did I crack too? Fuck. Get a burner. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 10:33

Oh my goodness. Uh so so alright. So other than that, I haven't seen you all week. And you're dad, you know, so we just got back from a trip from back east because my one I have a grandson that lives back there, turned one and it was a really fun trip. It was a fun trip. Although that the whole time change with the the three hour time change, you know, it was it's always harder, I think, when I go back there because they're beh they're ahead of us three hours, and it's hard for my body to adjust compared to coming back home. I just I adjust a lot easier. But anyway, it was fun. So, all right. So you and I had you talked, you called, we talked this morning while you were at breakfast. And tell me what you're what happened at breakfast.

SPEAKER_00 11:24

Or at work. I was like, or not at work, but at the end at the train, something happened.

SPEAKER_01 11:30

I can't remember what you said. Breakfast train, automobiles, trains, planes, or whatever. What happened?

SPEAKER_00 11:35

You really want okay, you really want me to tell you what I told you on the Bartrain the other day? No, not okay. I will tell you. All right, cool. It was the most inappropriate shit I've ever seen.

SPEAKER_01 11:47

All right. So I it's just it it it was we're gonna say an adult toy. No adult toy. We're just gonna say an adult toy that you thought you saw. So tell the story, but tell the story, but we're going to say adult toy because this is not an X-rated podcast.

SPEAKER_00 12:09

So I was just standing right there, mom. I was just uh I was getting off BAR, getting off West, just getting off BART, and there it was, just right there out of the thin blue, and I was like, oh shit, is that a rainbow adult toy? Was it in somebody's and the guy next to me was a jacked motherfucker, biggest muscles you fucking possibly can. Great blooded fucking just Jason Stefan fucking motherfucker.

SPEAKER_01 12:38

So whose bag was it? Was it his bag? Was it his bag?

SPEAKER_00 12:42

No, it was a black duffel bag, mom.

SPEAKER_01 12:45

Okay, so you look down and it was this is adult toy hanging out of the duffel bag. It's yeah. How did you how did it catch your eye? Was it bright neon yellow? It was a fucking rainbow, mom.

SPEAKER_00 12:58

The surface, the painting was black and the thing was a rainbow. And I'm like, okay. I'm like, after that, I quickly got off and felt so uncomfortable. I'm like, oh my god. My brain went so far, and I'm like, I just want to go home.

SPEAKER_01 13:12

You could have just said, hey, dude, you need to zip up your bag because No, I don't want him.

SPEAKER_00 13:16

I I don't I don't I don't want his attention on me at all.

SPEAKER_01 13:19

No, I don't blame you.

SPEAKER_00 13:20

Like, ooh, fresh meat for the prison. Oh fuck.

SPEAKER_01 13:23

No. You're so funny. I'm not trying to so I'm a white boy from Superbia. So what happened to what other thing happened you were saying the other introduction that you didn't understand at either it was work or at school or something you were talking about, you know?

SPEAKER_00 13:40

It was oh, it was it was basically I went to a bougie Italian place. There's two of them where I live, and they're absolutely phenomenal, amazing people. I've never been to there. I I lived here for one year, and I went to this pizza place, drove down, and it was like big, uh like brick, everything, Italian aesthetic. And I'm like, hey, uh by the uh a bartender, she came over, she said, like, oh, I didn't even see you there. Oh, I'm sorry. I was standing there like an idiot. I don't know what to do. Where's your pizza and shit? Legit, word for word. I'm like, oh, don't worry about it. I'm like, here you go, here's the food and stuff like that. Like, hey, you got barbecue? Wait, wait, wait, wait.

SPEAKER_01 14:20

This the bartender came over and you said she's like, Hey, I didn't see you kind of helping. You're like, Where's your pizza and shit? Word for word.

SPEAKER_00 14:26

No, I I said, okay, quote unquote, what I said, like, hey, I'm sorry I was standing near the door like an idiot. I need some help ordering for pizza. I've never been here before. I'm like, yeah, she said no problem. I'm like, cool. And yes, by the way, I did check the ring. She I did check her finger. She is married. So unfortunately, I cannot. I know you're thinking. I am.

SPEAKER_01 14:50

I'm thinking, why is she really nice? Maybe she wants to go get coffee with you. I'm constantly trying to set you up.

SPEAKER_00 14:55

The bad thing about I'm the owner was right there on her on his computer too. So he looked at me and I'm like, he just looked at me, just trying to have a conversation with the bartender, and I'm like, hey Matt, how you doing? Being nonchalant. So basically, she told me, like, hey, guess my name. And I'm like, Martha, Molly. Moana. I don't know. Like she had tattoos, so she was pretty cool. But basically, she told me, like, hey, she basically had a fun little chat about what to do about a pizza. I'm like, hey, you should really put uh hot, hot honey on your pizza. I'm like, yeah, but my mouth, how it is. Oh, hot honey? Oh, Dejan mustard.

SPEAKER_01 15:34

Dejar and mustard. I said Dejan mustard. Dijon mustard?

SPEAKER_00 15:39

I straight, I straight up said my Italian mother would put her foot up my ass. I'm so sorry.

SPEAKER_01 15:44

Like Dijon mustard? Oh, instead of hot honey. Did you process like hot mustard as opposed to hot honey? Yeah. What did she say when you said, oh, like Dijon mustard?

SPEAKER_00 15:58

She laughed at all. She just laughed at all this awkward shit. I'm like, hey, you want a glass of water? I would love a glass of water.

SPEAKER_01 16:04

So she would shake her head like, oh, well, who is this guy?

SPEAKER_00 16:07

Yeah, she was fun. She was cool. She was cool.

SPEAKER_01 16:10

Did you correct yourself and say, I'm sorry, man, hot honey? Or no, you didn't realize you said Dijon until after you walked out of the front.

SPEAKER_00 16:16

I realized what I said. So there was that. And I got my pizza and immediately walked out. And I'm like, you know what? I will guess your name the next time I'm coming to the pizza place. So I will try the guesses again. I oh yeah. When I got that pizza, I scorfed that that shit down like insane. It was like eight slices of great flat, like authentic Italian pizza from Italy. Most thin crushed, amazing. Need no ranch, arms on cheese. Ate it. And I drank probably half a glass of wine and I got knocked out for the two hours.

SPEAKER_01 16:53

And then you I know then you took a nap for how long?

SPEAKER_00 16:56

Two hours.

SPEAKER_01 16:57

So you just like done. It was like carb coma.

SPEAKER_00 17:00

Yeah. That is so funny. And I felt so good after. I'm like, yep, I love being a guy. I don't have to have to worry about my weight. Literally, I keep like, I keep getting like compliments. I'm like, dude, you're you're like, you're so big and you're like your upper your upper torso is like super good. And like, dude, I don't know, I don't really want this, but I kind of keep it like secretly. It's like getting compliments from from gay guys is pretty cool, actually. It's like Well, yeah, but you don't work out. I don't work out, but I still get compliments when I wear my two pieces. Like, whoa, dude, you're like, wow, your your your upper torso is so stacked. And I'm like, no, you're telling me to eat. I want some pants. Do you have some pants? Yeah, I want some pants. Thank you.

SPEAKER_01 17:43

Well, that is crazy.

SPEAKER_00 17:44

I mean, I don't get any compliments from girls. Only the only compliments I ever get from girls, like, wow, I you even noticed that your eyes are absolutely amazing. And I'm like, huh. That's great. Oh, yeah. This is another conversation. I try to call Ben. I know I'm getting off tangent here.

SPEAKER_01 17:59

No, oh, wait, before you do that, what I was gonna say is most men that are in fashion, like they I mean, I think that's because you dress so well and your clothes are high quality that they are probably noticing the fashion. And then they're like, wow, and then you wear you wear it well because you have your suits are tailored, you know, they don't just hang off you. No, right? And those compliments are awesome. And I'm glad people are noticing you, right?

SPEAKER_00 18:22

Oh, it's great. I don't even exercise. I'm like, oh yeah, I do deadlifts. I do like two minute deadlifts.

SPEAKER_01 18:27

You don't even know what a deadlift is. You better be careful because somebody's gonna be like, oh, really? Well, how much do you deadlift? And you're gonna be like 250, bro.

SPEAKER_00 18:36

Deadlifts. I do squats.

SPEAKER_01 18:39

Wait, wait, everybody, wait, wait. Those of you at home, he just said 250 deadlifts and he raised his arm above his head. That is that is not a deadlift. A deadlift. You raised your hands as you were doing a press.

SPEAKER_00 18:54

All three of your boys have dad's broad shoulders, by the way. Like he look amazing.

SPEAKER_01 19:00

Okay, first of all, dad doesn't have broad shoulders. Yeah, he does. Dad has broad shoulders. You get it from our side, my side.

SPEAKER_00 19:09

Grandpa, you get it from the you- Everyone in our family, everyone, both sides, whatever, have broad shoulders.

SPEAKER_01 19:16

Oh yeah, why you why can't why are you giving dad the freaking credit having a broad shoulders? My side of the family has a broad shoulders. Anyway, it doesn't matter. Okay, so what you try go back on your t back on what you were saying about Benjamin. So what happened with Ben?

SPEAKER_00 19:29

So I wanted to talk, I wanted to call him, but before I went to my pizza coma, was I had this instant thought before the wine kind of got to me was like, why do girls tell me that my eyes are amazing? Like, oh, watch my eye. Your eyes are like low-key, really amazing. And it's like, is that a key sign that they want to fuck me? No, no, it's because you're every every time, like, yeah, but I'm like, I have amazing eyes, like, but at the same time, I'm like, is that is that true?

SPEAKER_01 19:58

Okay, everybody. So Jeff has blue, blue, blue eyes, and he's got dark hair.

SPEAKER_00 20:04

Yep. Yeah, I look at my dad. My dad's awesome.

SPEAKER_01 20:07

Yeah. Yes, and you take after your dad with your skin color because you're very fair, unlike your mother, who's very Mediterranean.

SPEAKER_00 20:15

Yeah, Ben and Logan both have your skin tone.

SPEAKER_01 20:17

Yeah, yeah. But so that's the thing. So, no, just because they compliment, although when somebody compliments your eyes, that could be you can continue that conversation. That's an in. They're probably trying to talk to you to get you talking about a conversation. So, did you talk to Ben about it?

SPEAKER_00 20:34

No, I forgot about it until now.

SPEAKER_01 20:38

Well, I'm telling you, when if somebody's okay, number one, there could be one, no alternative motive motive at all. Just you're on Bart or wherever you're walking, or you're at the store and somebody notices how blue your eyes are because against your black, you know, dark hair and your fair skin, your eyes pop, right? Yeah. So of course, people are gonna be like, oh my god, your eyes are really pretty. No, that's it, nothing. All right, have a nice day, sir. Here's your coffee, here's your muffin, see you later bye, right? Don't let the door come through and you get out, right? Kind of thing. But the other one is they could just be saying, My goodness, a person thinking to myself, this person's really handsome. And so they need an in. So they say, Wow, your eyes are really pretty. That's when you say, Well, thanks very much. Yeah, you know, well, and you could say, Well, I've noticed that you're, you know, you have lovely curly hair, or, you know, whatever. Or you can say, Oh, thank you. My name is Jeff. That's it, right? That's how you do it. If they and they and if they look at you like you have five heads and they're exploding, then you knew that they're there, they were the ladder. They were just trying to give you a compliment and leave. But if you say, Oh, well, thank you so much, my name is Jeff, and they go, Oh, well, my name is Jennifer, then you know that they were saying they were saying that your eyes were pretty because they wanted you, they wanted to use that as a kind of a compliment to continue that conversation with you. And then you say, My name is Jeff. She says, Oh, my name is Jennifer. And then you go, Oh, wow. You know, I noticed, well, thank you for the compliment on my eyes. And she'll go, Oh, yeah, no problem. She could ask you a question, or then you can ask her a question at that point, something like, I don't know, so what are you doing in the city? So if you're in San Francisco, or what are you doing in San Jose if you're in San Jose? Or what brings you to the restaurant if you're eating at the restaurant and she's sitting beside you? What brings you at the you know to the restaurant? She'll go, Oh, I just came for a drink, or I came to get some dinner. You know what I mean? But if they look at you like you have five heads and then they go, no, they kind of go, Oh, okay, and they walk away, it's just because they were noticing how you know attractive your eyes are and that's all they wanted. No big deal. Those are the things that you have to read.

SPEAKER_00 22:38

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 22:39

And I know that when you talk to Ben, he always goes to, you know, they want sexual relations with you. I mean, Ben, that I mean, Ben, not everybody's.

SPEAKER_00 22:48

I need Katie to help with interpretation sometimes.

SPEAKER_01 22:53

Yeah. So you need to you should call Ben and say, put put Katie on the speaker. And then and then I'm sure she'll tell you the same thing that I just told you. Yeah, definitely. But you gotta think about that. So I mean, you anytime somebody gives you a compliment, you could just say, Oh, well, thanks. My name's Jeff. And then if they say, look at you weird, but if they return with, oh, well, my name is Jennifer or Sam or whatever, you just can start the conversation.

SPEAKER_00 23:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 23:20

And that'll help you because it'll help you think of questions on the fly and get to know people and talk to people, and then you can see them shifting to see if they're, you know, read their body language, which will help you. And then if you don't understand their body language, then we can talk about it.

SPEAKER_00 23:34

That is one thing that I am writing down and remembering people's body language because I do it so well at work, but it's it's weird how my brain works. It's just like I'm getting paid to read people, but yet when I'm outside, I'm like, oh my god, hi. I I I can't talk to you, but I need to get paid to talk to you. It's weird. It's a weird thing, right? My energy just switches, and it's just like it's like being in sales is different than being outside. I'm like, okay, how can I approach this cute girl? How can I sell myself? But yet at the same time, I know I'm not gonna get anything out of it. I know there's no reward out of it. I love this rejection, but yeah.

SPEAKER_01 24:12

What do you mean you're not gonna get out of it? The reward is getting to know a nice girl. So, what you're saying is when you're at work, you don't have a problem talking to people, but then when you're on the street with no, because when they come in to when they come into your store, you know that they are there to get something.

SPEAKER_00 24:28

Yeah, right? There's like instant reward, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 24:32

But but then when you're out on the street, it's hard because there's no like you don't know what their intentions are or what they're thinking or where they're at, and you don't know, you know, which is difficult. I know it's hard. It is hard, but that's what I'm saying is when somebody gives you a compliment that you're in to start the conversation, right? Kind of a thing.

SPEAKER_00 24:50

And what's what's really interesting of about everything that we're talking about is my friend before she moved to Virginia. Okay, she contacted me a few weeks ago. Oh, how's she doing? Oh, she's fantastic. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 25:04

Um she asked you to move out there?

SPEAKER_00 25:06

Oh no, she came out to not not to move out, but to basically check up. I sent I sent her memes of uh of my current work, and she laughed. And the thing is the thing is, she met someone out in Virginia already. First of all, she is absolutely amazing, and it's nice that she is well prepared out there, and she found someone nice, an engineer, very shy guy. So I literally like, hey, don't worry. I sent her a meme of me in a sniper range, and I'm like, hey, just say the word, don't worry, I got it. And she said, okay, at east, soldier, don't worry. He's one of the good ones. And I'm like, okay, okay. But she checked up on me and I checked up on her, and it's nice. She she's still well adjusting, so I'll give her some time to well adjust, and it's it's nice. You know, it what talks is it's three hours ahead. It's obviously on the East Coast. It's nice just hearing from her and a couple of text messages here and there. And I hope she meets someone really nice. And before she the last night that we were hanging out, I I need to remember that podcast that I that I was remembering when about that gay guy touching my ass. I don't know if I told that story or not. Yeah. I felt so uncomfortable that moment.

SPEAKER_01 26:32

Well that's that's when you need to go with it.

SPEAKER_00 26:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 26:35

You need to go with the flow because you know, you they were you guys were all friends. That was his it was her friend there, everybody was comfortable, and you just need to go with the flow and not be so and not be so uptight.

SPEAKER_00 26:45

No.

SPEAKER_01 26:45

Not be so stiff.

SPEAKER_00 26:46

Not so stiff. But uh again, during the podcast, I always feel like a bodyguard when with with my female friends, always. I don't know why. But again, it's a it's at the podcast. You guys should go listen to it. But on the night of uh the night of her last thing, when she basically told me to go at least have a date with that bioengineer, I still kind of regret not kissing her, of course. We'll talk about that later.

SPEAKER_01 27:13

Okay, you gotta you gotta let that go. I gotta let it go.

SPEAKER_00 27:15

All right, I'll let it go.

SPEAKER_01 27:16

You have to let that go.

SPEAKER_00 27:18

I fucked it up. It's my fault.

SPEAKER_01 27:19

The dog with the bow.

SPEAKER_00 27:22

She told me to like Jeff, you dress very rich, by the way. And I'm like, oh, really? I'm like, you dress very well. And it is quite, you know, it's that when she said that, and I'm like, okay, it's like how much it's is it when is it quite intimidating? Yeah, so basically she told me like when women see a well-dressed man, it's basically it's not bear repellent, it's just like they can't approach you because you you know your worth. And I'm like, oh shit, I didn't realize that. Because when you when we help like we help dress founders of tech companies, we help CEOs, and when people see you on the street, like their interpretation of you is you're rich and you drill nice and you drive a nice car. And I'm like, girls are intimidated by that. I'm like, really? Really, yeah. That's why you only get looks on the train. That's why you only get looks on the street. While she was talking, I literally counted how many guys that basically looked at her on her outfit. There's like 16 guys already on the street the first two minutes down. And I'm like, you counted? I'm like, yeah. I'm like, I feel like you're bodyguard, so I have to be unaware. So yeah, I know there's a lot of impact there.

SPEAKER_01 28:32

No, no, no, no. There's not no, it's not a lot to unpack. I mean, I think we can I think this could be a whole episode, which we're gonna have to because we're at 32 minutes. But I but just to reach this one, this one comment, it it isn't that you're unapproachable, I think, or intimidating, which it it could be. I mean, you are tall.

SPEAKER_00 28:53

Um I get looks on the train, mom, and it's like it's so weird. Like, do I have to approach them? Do I approach these girls? Why they could just approach me? I'm a nice open book. I don't I don't have a wrestling bitch face no more.

SPEAKER_01 29:05

You do, that's what I was gonna say. You do, you do. We we saw it a couple weeks ago.

SPEAKER_00 29:11

I know.

SPEAKER_01 29:12

You do, yeah. All right, so we're gonna put a pin in this, we're gonna put a pin in it, and then we're gonna talk about this for our next time. Um, get Ben and Low Ben and Logan on to talk about this whole dressed stuff and how you, you know, intimidating resting bitch face. I don't know, we can talk about it. There's so many questions I gotta ask you.

SPEAKER_00 29:34

Yeah. When did it start it? When did this when did this wrestling bitch face start? I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 29:38

I'll think of it.

SPEAKER_00 29:39

You were five. I was five and I'll be wrestling bitch face.

SPEAKER_01 29:43

All right. Well, we gotta we gotta cut it off. I know this we're having so much fun with our wine. We're having so much fun. Okay, in two weeks, you're gonna hear a new one. Like I said, we announced at the very big beginning of the podcast. We're gonna move to every other week. And we appreciate all of you who are following and listening for this last topic with the dress and the intimidating and resting bitch face and try and get you to be more approachable out of work. Approachable out of work.

SPEAKER_00 30:10

Oh yeah. It seems like I can't win, you know.

SPEAKER_01 30:16

All right, until next time. Thank you, everybody. This is Julie and Jeff. And thank you for joining us and laughing through the uncomfortable.