Best Of: 12 Episodes, Too Many Red Flags & Not Enough Chardonnay

Jeff is hitting the books for finals so this week we are taking a walk down memory lane through our favorite moments from the first 12 episodes of Laughing Through the Uncomfortable! 🎙️

From Jeff navigating the city with all its sounds and smells, to red flags he completely missed while dating, to the resting bitch face incident at the wine tasting, to finally understanding what a compliment on your eyes actually means — and what it definitely does not mean 😂

We also revisit the dating fatigue that comes with swiping left and right for months, the moment Jeff realized he attracts people who need healing, and of course Logan setting the record straight on what gaslighting actually is 😂❤️

If you are new to the podcast this is the perfect place to start. If you have been here from the beginning — welcome back to all the moments that made you laugh through the uncomfortable 🎙️

New episodes return in two weeks when Jeff is done with finals! 😂

New episodes every two weeks. Follow us on Spotify, iHeart, and Apple Podcasts!

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hello and welcome to Laughing Through the Uncomfortable this week with Julie and Jeff. So Jeff is studying for finals, so we decided that we're going to do something really cool and just go through our favorite clips and things that occurred during the last 12 episodes. And we're going to play them here. And I'm going to introduce them to you and what episode you can find them in, and basically give you some background on what was going on. So this first clip is from episode two, and we were talking about Jeff's neurodiversity and his ability to sometimes get overwhelmed with sounds and noises as well as smells. But he continues to take part. He continues to work in the city because what we had said off the recording was the more he does it, the more his neurosystem is becoming adaptive to the sounds and the smells. So here you go. Hopefully you enjoy it.

SPEAKER_04 0:59

We did, and we went to the bar, and it was so great. We talked and laughed about it. But honestly, like the city alone, like getting off bar when I go into the city, it's like super loud.

SPEAKER_06 1:10

The smells, the people, like you get used to that, your brain will develop. But it's just on unnecessarily noise.

SPEAKER_05 1:17

So yeah, it's it's something that you just it's like a pillar to swallow that you have to like get along with the social settings.

SPEAKER_00 1:24

Yeah. Hello. And so hopefully you enjoyed that clip with Jeff in episode two. This next clip is going to be from episode five, where we talk about how Jeff needs to lower his expectations, not from dating and lower expectations with, you know, what he's looking for in a partner and a life partner, but more of a in general in his life. He talk he often talks about how sometimes he's frustrated when people ask questions and they seem like they're obvious questions, especially like, you know, at school or at the grocery store. And that's when I tell him he has to lower his expectations. So this clip has to do with me telling him lower his expectations and assume that people don't know everything. So you don't really know that person's background. So here he is, him and I talking about how he really should not have any expectations for just about anybody and let them be who they are. So hopefully you enjoy this. Okay, so remember my conversation with you a couple weeks ago about lowering your expectations on people? Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 2:30

I did, and guess what? The the girls who they coached me.

SPEAKER_00 2:36

No, not the expectations on the dating app, but just in general expectations with people. Like when you when you ask me, you know, like people asking you questions, yeah, right, and you're like, why is this? I don't understand. I'm like, you have to like lower your expectations and assume that nobody understands anything, like because you don't know where they you don't know their background, their education, you know, that stuff. So if you lower the extended, I don't. So my point being is if you lower and you just are like you you make it you make it like an exercise where you just you smile and you say hi to people. You know, you be like mom in the grocery store, like dad says, I can't walk by five people without talking to them, right? I mean, just hoy, how you doing? How's it going? Start that conversation.

SPEAKER_06 3:16

Start that conversation, right? Yep.

SPEAKER_00 3:18

How's the Chardonnay and water ratio going?

SPEAKER_06 3:20

It's Pinot Noir right now. I literally like crash on my couch, ate a pizza, crash out three glasses of wine, I'm out, and then I still fucking wake up at 12 o'clock, go to bed at 2 a.m. and still do homework and still touch.

SPEAKER_00 3:33

Yeah, exactly. Yeah, uh-huh. Is that your cocktail after the day at work?

SPEAKER_02 3:37

That's wine. I'm not drinking. I haven't, I don't have any. Oh, it's wine.

SPEAKER_00 3:40

What are you drinking?

SPEAKER_02 3:41

What are you drinking? That bottle of wine that you guys had.

SPEAKER_00 3:44

Oh, finish it.

SPEAKER_02 3:46

It's Sauvignon Blanc.

SPEAKER_00 3:47

Yeah, yeah. Nice. That's not Sauvignon Blanc that's red. That's either Pinot. That's a Pinot. I think I got a I think it was a Josh.

SPEAKER_02 3:54

Oh, yeah. Well, I finished it. So Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 3:56

Okay, that's cool. Okay, so here's the thing. Here is the thing.

SPEAKER_06 4:00

What is the thing, mother?

SPEAKER_00 4:02

Okay, you need to stop.

SPEAKER_06 4:02

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 4:03

But we have Logan here. Yes, I know. Who's Logan here? And you're sitting here being like, What? Pick his brain. All right, fine. Like with the dating apps, and maybe you should talk to him. Maybe you should text him and go, hey, here's a snapshot of the. Oh, well, there you go.

SPEAKER_02 4:20

Wait a minute. You yeah.

SPEAKER_00 4:21

Really? Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 4:22

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 4:22

He hasn't been on them for a couple years, but he still has information.

SPEAKER_02 4:26

I haven't been on it since my junior year of college. Oh, Jesus. Okay, lay lay it on me, man. Lay it on me, bro. What's going on?

SPEAKER_00 4:34

Did you meet Satan through a dating app?

SPEAKER_06 4:36

Shit, you did. I did. You did meet Satan. I did. And unfortunately, I dated a fellow Satan with the same name that cheated on me. That's another story. I know.

SPEAKER_00 4:45

I think that you should run. I think you should run. I think you should run a set direction. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 4:50

Yeah, I stopped dating apps my sophomore year.

SPEAKER_00 4:53

Yeah. Welcome back. And I hope you enjoyed the clip from episode five. I think I'm going to have Logan back on with Jeff so we can talk about just everything in general because I think we touched on Logan's dating experiences and he had this horrible, horrible experience when he was up away at school. So I think it'd be really great to talk about that in future. But this next clip is also from episode five. And Jeff kind of had the realization that sometimes girls don't like nice boys. They want the, you know, the James Dean of the society, the bad boy. So it was really like an epiphany for him to discuss this with us. So I hopefully you enjoy this clip. It's from episode five.

SPEAKER_06 5:35

I've always thought women want a nice person to take care of them, right? But apparently they'd rather have bad guys and just treat them wrong. And it's like, and then after that, it hurt my feelings so much. Why did it hurt your feelings? I'm like, they want to tap a guy that would literally, like, I'm afraid to say, like, might beat them.

SPEAKER_00 5:57

Isn't that a shame? What? I'm like, I think it's because people are so used to being treated like people are so rigid. I think it's because there are so many people out there playing the game that people forgot to be decent to each other. And when they get a decent person, they forget that that's what they're looking for, right?

SPEAKER_06 6:12

It's like, and then and then apparently the trend from all these girls that I've been seeing and dating, apparently they're all like injured, they got injured by the previous relationships. And when you see somebody like me with a very kind soul, kind heart, the thing is, I'm not going to fix you. I'm going to heal you. Well, yeah, through your kindness. Right. But the thing is, what happens is they always find someone better. What do you mean by better? I had I we just me and my best friend at work, we were talking about this, right? From our previous experiences and so forth. And apparently, I attract people who are broken in a way that need to be healed. And I'm like, okay. And I told him a few people that I have kind of healed and found out like there's good guys. They always find someone to break them again.

SPEAKER_00 7:07

How do you know that?

SPEAKER_06 7:08

Because they text me about it.

SPEAKER_00 7:09

Oh, do they do? And what do they tell you? What do they say? This is news to me. You've never told me this. So what does he say?

SPEAKER_06 7:16

That I didn't they they t just like when I find out what they say?

SPEAKER_00 7:20

Like, I didn't know I could have had it when I was ADQ.

SPEAKER_06 7:22

No, I just like I didn't know that you still had my number. Why are you texting me?

SPEAKER_00 7:27

Okay, but what did they say to you about how they how do you know that they're with another person that broke them again? I guess that's the question.

SPEAKER_06 7:35

Basically, they post shit on Facebook and Instagram.

SPEAKER_00 7:38

That they're with other people.

SPEAKER_06 7:39

Yeah, other people.

SPEAKER_00 7:40

But why are you following them then?

SPEAKER_06 7:41

I'm not following them. I'm not I'm barely on the apps, and they they like they send me notifications, a little poke. I I had an old, old person that I used to go out with and they actually texted me back and started giving me all these hot heart emojis and stuff. And I'm like, don't you have kids? Why are you crawling back to me? You wanted to mar marry that dude.

SPEAKER_00 8:03

Wait, oh, okay, now you know. This is back in college. Yeah, now I knew what we're talking about. Is she still married?

SPEAKER_06 8:08

Yeah. Maybe she's just And I found my old Instagram page too.

SPEAKER_00 8:11

Okay, well, maybe she's just trying to be like, hey.

SPEAKER_06 8:13

You're married. Stop hugging guys and stop sending the heart emojis.

SPEAKER_00 8:17

That's true. No, I see. I raised you right.

SPEAKER_06 8:19

I'm like, I'm not committing adultery.

SPEAKER_00 8:20

So now we're gonna go. Okay, so let's talk about the dating app. So what are we doing now? What's your plan? We gotta get this going. Like, we like right? Like you need to we need to figure it out. And I don't yeah. So what's your plan?

SPEAKER_06 8:31

Well, just to f I just want to get out there.

SPEAKER_00 8:33

Welcome back. Hopefully you enjoyed that one. So this next clip is from episode seven, I believe. And he was talking about his girlfriend that he was dating for a few months, and there were all these red flags throughout him dating her. And I kept saying, that doesn't sound normal. Um, and so basically he realized that the digital world and the texting and everything that was going on with her when he was seeing her, as well as when he was seeing her in person and her body language and her verbal cues, as well as her nonverbal cues, he was having a hard time picking up on them. So this is him discussing what exactly it was that were to me red flags and how he has difficulty in navigating that world. Hopefully you enjoy it and I will see you in a few. You know, I don't want really specifics other than the fact that I don't care about what they do, but we're gonna talk about what you do and the fact that you said the digital world. And it's hard for you to know the digital world, it's hard for you to navigate the social world too, right? So, okay, so for that, for you, I think it was most of us would have picked up these red flags, especially since all of that stuff, we would have picked it up, right?

SPEAKER_01 9:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 9:47

Especially when they're asking you for money every now, like the Uber and all of that stuff, which is fine. What I mean, that's like a huge red flag. Yeah, but one time is one time is fine. Yeah, okay, we'll get it, you know. But a second or third time, or you know, and then saying about the shower, you know, the shower head, and can you can you send me money for a shower head? I don't have the money, that kind of stuff, right? So those are the those are the things that I want to talk about. Like, like you, you know, I because I was telling you through the three months, every time something happened, I'm like, Jeff, that doesn't sound normal. Jeff, that doesn't sound normal.

SPEAKER_06 10:19

You gave me the courage to break it up.

SPEAKER_00 10:21

Yeah. You gave me only because it didn't sound normal.

SPEAKER_06 10:24

Yeah, thank God.

SPEAKER_00 10:25

Like my spidey senses.

SPEAKER_06 10:26

Yeah, because you were a mother bear.

SPEAKER_00 10:28

No, I have a lot of life experience with con artists. I used to, you know, that's what I used to, I used to investigate those people. Okay, okay. So then the second person, so I don't want to go room, I don't want to go, I guess I don't want to go like person by person, but I'm gonna set this one up so we can kind of stay on track. The second person, you went to breakfast, it was well, you went to lunch, it was awesome.

SPEAKER_01 10:49

No, she that was girl C.

SPEAKER_00 10:51

Okay, whatever. Okay, girl C, we're skipping over B right now. What we'll go back.

SPEAKER_06 10:55

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 10:55

Girl C. You had a great lunch, you went to lunch, you had a great lunch, and then you texted a couple hours after the lunch. It was it was a great to see you, right?

SPEAKER_06 11:06

She stood me up.

SPEAKER_00 11:07

Okay, no, what about the one where you had the hamburger and she had the hamburger?

SPEAKER_06 11:11

That was girl B.

SPEAKER_00 11:12

Okay, so we're gonna go to B. I didn't skip over. You did.

SPEAKER_06 11:15

No, I didn't.

SPEAKER_00 11:16

I didn't Okay, okay, Timmy. This one. Okay.

SPEAKER_06 11:21

Girl B.

SPEAKER_00 11:22

Yeah, girl B. Okay, you had a great lunch.

SPEAKER_06 11:24

We had we had uh it was dinner. Okay, you had a great dinner at this fantastic restaurant.

SPEAKER_00 11:29

Okay, and then afterwards you texted her and said you had a great time.

SPEAKER_06 11:32

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 11:32

Did she text you back?

SPEAKER_06 11:33

She texted me back. Yeah. And then I texted her this morning. Yes.

SPEAKER_00 11:38

And that's when you talk to Kat Katie. Yes. That's what Katie. And when did Katie tell you about that? And you had no idea, right? What did Katie say?

SPEAKER_06 11:45

She told me to kind of wait a couple of days and then text her.

SPEAKER_00 11:49

Because why?

SPEAKER_06 11:50

I don't I I forgot.

SPEAKER_00 11:51

Because you look needy. Oh yeah, and then you look clingy and desperate, and that is one of those things, right? Where you text right after. So you either don't text right after and you wait till the next day and say, hey, how do you think?

SPEAKER_06 12:02

I still don't understand that.

SPEAKER_00 12:03

That I know.

SPEAKER_06 12:04

I just I'm really happy and really excited to see this person, and we had a great time. We love the boat, we we have great things in common. We have we like the same food, we were just really introverted people. I just don't understand why. Well, obviously it it's the needy part, but I just like if you really like someone, I'm like, hey, but I understand how it can be.

SPEAKER_00 12:29

But I don't understand why people think it's needy. It's just you being it's a game. But I don't understand why people play those games. I don't know. I don't understand. Welcome back. So this next clip, I'm hopefully you enjoyed that one. But this next clip is from also from episode seven, and it was quite hurtful for him to discuss this, and I'm glad he did because he was able to get it out. So basically, he was with some friends at a restaurant and he was talking too loud. And later on, one of his best friends had told him that he had embarrassed this other person with him. And so he talks about his feelings around that whole situation when people don't really understand that he talks louder with his neurodiversity and his auditory processing. So sometimes he doesn't understand how loud he's getting. And so it's really interesting to hear him talk about this. Hopefully, you enjoy it.

SPEAKER_06 13:22

Well, when I was driving home from BART, all these emotions even my work bestie. Yeah, I told her told my work bestie, and then she's like, oh, f that girl.

SPEAKER_00 13:32

Well, here's the thing. And I okay, here's the thing. I understand how you're feeling. So get correct me if I'm wrong.

SPEAKER_04 13:37

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 13:38

But when somebody like says that you embarrass them, it makes you feel bad because you're like, How did I embarrass them? And you just feel really bad. And then you thought they were your friends, and then it was like, if they're your friend, they could kind of tell you, hey, calm down, you're kind of embarrassing me at the moment. Yeah, I thought they would come to me. Or yeah, no, the thing is what I'm tea behind your back.

SPEAKER_06 13:57

That's what I'm upset about. Yeah, it's like if you if I embarrass you, I don't understand social cues. They know I have disabilities. Yeah. B knows. Yeah. And she is.

SPEAKER_00 14:06

Why didn't they just tell you right then and there, hey, you're embarrassed, calm down, put your voice down.

SPEAKER_06 14:09

I wish Abby just told me. Yeah. Right? I'm like, hey, but the thing is, I tell them, like, hey, I have I don't I don't understand social cues sometimes. Yeah. My brain doesn't understand some things. But the thing is, people rather be rigid and spread rumors behind my back than actually face the real, like, hey, Jeff.

SPEAKER_00 14:28

Well, a lot of times people have a hard time having hard conversations in general. For for me, I'm not, I won't get upset. I like criticism. No, I know, but maybe Abby has a hard time having a hard conversation because I mean, think about it, right? Like, it's sometimes people have a have a really, really hard time having hard conversations. And I can think of they don't like concentration. I can start, I could think of a few people offhand right now that are not my friends. They're not my friends. They were co-workers, and they just even when like you talk to them and go, hey, blah, blah, blah, they avoid having like they run out of the room like, you know, scorched earth, like, you know, just gone. Just fire in their place. That's how fast they ran out of the room because they don't want to have a hard conversation.

SPEAKER_06 15:11

Yeah, they don't want to communicate.

SPEAKER_00 15:12

So maybe Abby just has maybe Abby is just one of those people that have a hard time having a hard conversation. And maybe she did thought she you would hurt her feelings as I mean, hurt your feelings as opposed to You should hear about her dating life. Okay, no, we're not this is not an Abby fashion session. So, okay, so this is my advice. So your bestie at work said, never mind, just ignore it, delete the message, don't respond.

SPEAKER_06 15:37

Yeah. She she she's awesome. I love my work, Bestie. Yeah. She like literally teaches me everything in social cues about girls my age and younger. So it's nice. She actually helped me match with a lot of girls on a dating app too. She sometimes helps me pick out girls on my dating app too. It was a fun little But that's good. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 15:55

You never show me your dating app. I want to pick out girls on your dating app. I could pick out good ones for you. I guarantee you, I bet you had to let me. Let me. We gotta do that.

SPEAKER_06 16:02

Another time. That'll be another episode. That'll be an episode of matchmaking with Moll.

SPEAKER_00 16:08

Oh, matchmaking with mom. And then we're gonna put your dad in.

SPEAKER_06 16:11

So oh god.

SPEAKER_00 16:12

Yeah, you'll be like.

SPEAKER_06 16:13

That'll be an interesting story. But what's your advice on what should I do?

SPEAKER_00 16:17

Here so first I have a few questions to ask you. Number one, how valuable is their friendship to you? Do they bring any value at all in your life?

SPEAKER_06 16:26

Honestly? Oh.

SPEAKER_00 16:27

Before this whole eight-month embarrassment thing came out?

SPEAKER_06 16:31

It was valuable because It was valuable. It was valuable to me because I cherished their friendship. It was more of like a spiritual friendship. Like I can talk to them, right?

SPEAKER_00 16:41

So I guess what I'm saying is after this thing happened, this was kind of like a crushing blow to you, and you thought that they she was different than she is. Maybe it's worth texting her back, both of them back in a group text.

SPEAKER_05 16:54

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 16:55

Hey, got your message. Yeah, hanging out. You know, school started again, one more semester left. It was great hearing you got it's great hearing from you. I hope everything is great. And let me know if you're available or I'd love to go hang out anytime, right? And then if they do text you to go hang out, then you just say, let's do coffee. And that is when you choose to have that hard conversation with both of them and say, you know what? Abby, I understand that I embarrassed you last time we're out. I wish you would have told me when that happened. And then she'll be like, What do you mean you embarrass me? And then you're gonna say, I mean, that's what that's how I would handle it. Or you can just put it all behind you, right? And say, okay, put this in your little back of your head, text them and go, hey, got your message, everything is great. You know, yeah, let's, you know, whenever you're available, let's hang out. And you just put it away. Don't ever bring it up and just hang out with them, but no, keep in the back of your mind that you, you know, I don't know. I know how I would handle it. Well, the thing is And I would text and then ask, you know, and if they got together, then I would I would actually talk to Abby about being honest with me, right? Like, you gotta be honest. This is gonna be if we're gonna be friends, we have to be honest with each other. And please, I felt bad that I embarrassed you. You need to let me know if I'm embarrassing you because you know how I am. You know how I talk. Sometimes my voice raises without me knowing it. And I need you to tell me that I'm talking a little loud. Yeah, you're not hurting my feelings, right? Like maybe that you need to do that, or they're not valuable at all.

SPEAKER_06 18:24

They're not valuable at all.

SPEAKER_00 18:24

And you don't you just get textered politely and say, hey, got your voice message. Thanks. I'll you know, everything is great. Yeah, everything is great. I hope everything's good with you, and that's it. Okay, so this next clip is from episode 11, and it's about us going wine tasting. And Jeff's dad and I took Jeff wine tasting at a local winery up where we live. And Jeff's dad pointed out that Jeff tends to have a resting bitch face. So I hope you enjoy this clip. I mean, we could talk about the wine tasting that we went to today.

SPEAKER_06 18:58

We could talk about that.

SPEAKER_00 19:00

I mean, but no, that wasn't really that funny, but it wasn't really what it was. But it was fine. Yeah, exactly. So this four lady is explaining the different wine.

SPEAKER_01 19:11

I'm just trying to listen to the fucking story. I just want to join my fucking wine.

SPEAKER_00 19:16

I know. So she's going on and on, which is fine. But she's so nice. She was nice. History of the vineyards, hundred-year-old this, all of them. And then so she walks away, and dad looks at him and Ben and he goes, What's what's with the resting bitch face? And Jeff's like, what are you talking about? I'm just trying to listen. And I'm like, You aren't trying to listen. I read right through you. You didn't want to listen. And Jeff admitted it. And Jeff's like, I don't know why she was talking so much. She was talking so much. I just wanted to sit here and enjoy the atmosphere, drink my wine. And I'm like, she's trying to do her job. But what was funny was fast forward an hour and she talks about sales, right? And she's starting to walk away. And Jeff starts a conversation, full-on conversation with her.

SPEAKER_01 19:59

I have four glasses of wine in. I'm like, yeah, of course.

SPEAKER_03 20:05

Yeah, he was four glasses of wine, the truth's coming out.

SPEAKER_00 20:07

Yeah. Chatty Kathy. Like, we could not shut him up. Chatty Kathy. Yeah, like he kept on and on and on and on.

SPEAKER_01 20:15

I'm a fucking talker.

SPEAKER_00 20:16

Fifteen minutes later, she goes away to get a new bottle of wine to taste, and me and dad look at him and go, What the fuck? An hour ago you were saying she couldn't shut up, and then now we couldn't shut you up.

SPEAKER_01 20:28

I'm a Gemini. I can't help it.

SPEAKER_00 20:30

I just think it's funny. You're like, this conversation does not interest me. I'm not, I'm not even gonna pay attention. This is not interesting. Go away. And then she starts talking about sales, and he's like, Oh, sales? Merchandising? I am totally interested. I'm gonna be paying attention to this. Typical, right?

SPEAKER_06 20:49

Oh, geez. Crazy.

SPEAKER_00 20:51

Okay, so thanks, Ben, for joining us. I know that this we had to wrap we had to wrap up last week's podcast with whether or not what you used on your dating app. So you and Katie just matched to each other and that's it. You didn't match to anybody else?

SPEAKER_03 21:04

Absolutely not. I only matched to Katie.

SPEAKER_00 21:07

And then she only matched to you, huh?

SPEAKER_03 21:08

Very good. Katie only Katie only matched to me, too. Absolutely. We were one and done on Tinder. I fucking hate that. I love it. Which is funny because I just walked right by her when she when I said that, and she goes, Fuck you. That's not even true.

SPEAKER_00 21:22

So she had probably had lots of people matching to her. You just grabbed her out of the ocean before anybody else could.

SPEAKER_03 21:29

No, it was I had it for a couple days. She had it for a couple days. And then once we matched with each other, we both deleted it.

SPEAKER_00 21:36

And we're down to our last few clips. So this next one is I think it's from 11 or 12. Can't remember. But it's Jeff obviously not understanding social keys, talking about women. And when they compliment on his eyes, he had an interesting question for me and his brother, Logan. And I think he asked it with me on the first episode. And then on episode 12, he brought it up again. And I brought it up again so Logan could talk to him about it to explain to him exactly what the social cue and the compliment it means. And when you get this kind of compliment, what you're supposed to do. So hopefully you enjoy it.

SPEAKER_06 22:16

Watch my eye. Your eyes are like low-key, really amazing. And it's like, is that a key sign that they want to fuck me?

unknown 22:22

No.

SPEAKER_00 22:22

No. It's because you're amazing. Every time.

SPEAKER_06 22:25

Like, yeah, but I've like, I have amazing eyes. I'm like, but at the same time, I'm like, is that is that true?

SPEAKER_00 22:30

Okay, everybody. So Jeff has blue, blue, blue eyes. And he's got dark and he's got dark hair.

SPEAKER_06 22:36

Yep. Yeah. I look like dad. My dad's awesome.

SPEAKER_00 22:38

Yeah. Yes. And you take after your dad with your skin color because you're very fair. Unlike your mother, who's very Mediterranean.

SPEAKER_06 22:45

Ben and Logan both have your skin tone.

SPEAKER_00 22:47

Yeah. But so that's the thing. So no, just because they compliment. Although when somebody compliments your eyes, that could be you can continue that conversation. That's an in. They're probably trying to talk to you to get you talking about a conversation. So did you talk to Ben about it?

SPEAKER_06 23:03

No, I forgot about it until now.

SPEAKER_00 23:06

Well, well, I'm telling you, when if somebody's okay, number one, there could be one, no alternative motive motive at all. Just you're on BART or wherever you're walking, or you're at the store and somebody noticed how blue your eyes are because against your black, you know, dark hair and your fair skin, your eyes pop, right? So of course, people are gonna be like, oh my god, your eyes are really pretty. No, that's it. Nothing. All right, have a nice day, sir. Here's your coffee, here's your muffin. See you later bye, right? Don't let the door and you get out, right? Kind of a thing. But the other one is they could just be saying, My goodness, a person thinking to myself, this person's really handsome. And so they need an in. So they say, Wow, your eyes are really pretty. That's when you say, Well, thanks very much.

SPEAKER_01 23:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 23:47

You know, well, and you could say, Well, I've noticed that you're, you know, you have lovely curly hair, or you know, whatever. Or you can say, Oh, thank you. My name is Jeff. That's it, right? That's how you do it. If they and they and if they look at you like you have five heads and they're exploding, then you knew that they're they're they were the ladder. They were just trying to give you a compliment and leap. But if you say, Oh, well, thank you so much, my name is Jeff, and they go, Oh, well, my name is Jennifer, then you know that they were saying they were saying that your eyes were pretty because they wanted you, they wanted to use that as a kind of a compliment to continue that conversation with you. And then you say, My name is Jeff. She says, Oh, my name is Jennifer. And then you go, Oh, wow. You know, I noticed, well, thank you for the compliment on my eyes. And she'll go, Oh, yeah, no problem. She could ask you a question, or then you can ask her a question at that point, something like, I don't know, so what are you doing in the city? So if you're in San Francisco, or what are you doing in San Jose if you're in San Jose? Or what brings you to the restaurant if you're eating at the restaurant and she's sitting beside you? What brings you at the you know to the restaurant? And she'll go, Oh, I just came for a drink, or I came to get some dinner. Do you know what I mean? But if they look at you like you have five heads and then they go, no, hey, they kind of go, okay, and they walk away, it's just because they were noticing how you know attractive your eyes are and that's all they wanted. No big deal. Those are the things that you have to read.

SPEAKER_01 25:06

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 25:07

And I know that when you talk to Ben, he always goes to, you know, they want sexual relations with you. I mean, Ben, I mean, Ben, not everybody can't.

SPEAKER_06 25:16

You kind of need Katie to help with interpretation.

SPEAKER_00 25:18

Yeah, you need to you should call Ben and say, put Katie on speaker. And and then I'm sure she'll tell you the same thing that I just told you. But you gotta think about that. So I mean, you anytime somebody gives you a compliment, you could just say, Oh, well, thanks. My name's Jeff. And then if they say, Look at you weird, but if they return with, oh, well, my name is Jennifer or Sam or whatever, you just can start the conversation.

SPEAKER_04 25:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 25:43

And that'll help you because it'll help you think of questions on the fly and get to know people and talk to people, and then you can see them shifting to see if they're, you know, read their body language, which will help you. And then if you don't understand their body language, then we can talk about it.

SPEAKER_06 25:58

That is one thing that I am writing down and remembering people's body language because I do it so well at work, but it's it's weird how my brain works. It's just like I'm getting paid to read people, but yet when I'm outside, I'm like, oh my god, hi. I I I can't talk to you, but I need to get paid to talk to you. It's weird. It's a weird thing, right? My energy just switches, and it's just like being in sales is different than being outside. Like, okay, how can I approach this cute girl? How can I sell myself? But yet at the same time, I know I'm not gonna get anything out of it. I know there's no reward out of it. I love this rejection. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 26:35

Welcome back. So we're back to our last two clips. This last one, second to the last, is Jeff talks about his dating fatigue with dating apps and how tired he is with swiping left or swiping right and being ghosted for months on end or weeks on end. So I I think it's interesting because I started dating when there wasn't apps or any social media and we still had dating fatigue then. I know I did. So this is Laughing Through the Uncomfortable. Let us know what you think. You can find us on Facebook. Just search up Laughing Through the Uncomfortable on Facebook as well as Instagram. We're both on that. And at in Spotify, you can message us through Spotify. If you're listening to the episodes, if you want to know a question, you can always send us a question either on Facebook and or Instagram and through Spotify. We also have email and it's laughingthrough uncomfortable at gmail.com. It's there's no the in it. So let us know what you think and any topics you want us to discuss with Jeff. We are more than welcome to take your input. So uh let's listen to this dating fatigue clip. I have dating fatigue, dude.

SPEAKER_06 27:42

I have dating fatigue because of all this media bullshit of just like expectations. I'll pay for the fucking dinner. I was just like, fuck. You want me to walk your car?

SPEAKER_00 27:55

I'll walk to your fucking car. But most of them just fuck. So here we are, finally down to our last clip. It came from episode 12 where Logan was our special guest. He is Jeff's little brother. And it's interesting because he talks about gaslighting and the meaning of gaslighting. And it's something that is pretty funny. It's a really funny clip. So I hopefully you enjoyed it. I'm going to, I really appreciate everybody coming and listening. I think it's great to just look back and see what we've done and what we've discussed and all the funny moments that Jeff and I have had, as well as some funny moments that Logan and Jeff have had, as well as Ben and Jeff. It's interesting. Catch us next time when we bring Jeff back, when he's done with finals, and we can start talking about new conversations between me and Jeff. It's going to be super interesting. So catch us in two weeks for the newest episode of Laughing Through the Uncomfortable. It was great having you with us. I hope you enjoy this last clip.

SPEAKER_02 28:54

Gaslighting is when you convince someone that their reality is something different. It's like you flipping on a light upstairs and then your significant other saying, Hey, the light upstairs is on, and then you go, No, it's not. You're crazy. It's not on.

SPEAKER_00 29:08

Yeah, that's not on.

SPEAKER_02 29:08

Oh, that's even worse. Convincing the other person that their reality is in forever.

SPEAKER_00 29:12

Oh my god.