Act Like You Don't Want It… And You'll Get It

After months of rejections ghostings and hitting his head against the same wall — he finally got the job 

And the plot twist? He went into the interview not even wanting it!

This week on Laughing Through the Uncomfortable we celebrate a HUGE win and break down exactly what changed — from finding a career coach who actually spoke his industry's language to fixing his resume to walking into an interview with zero attachment to the outcome and somehow nailing it anyway.

We also get real about what advice actually works for people who are grinding through a tough job market — hint it is not just being persistent and Jeff learns that lesson in real time on this episode.

Julie shares advice for parents of neurodivergent adults watching their kids struggle through interviews and why the five whys exercise might be the most powerful thing you can do to help them find their voice.

If you have been grinding and wondering when things are finally going to click — this episode is for you.

Got questions for Jeff, Ben, and Logan? Email us at laughingthroughuncomfortable@gmail.com — we are almost ready for the big brothers episode!

New episodes every two weeks. Follow us on Spotify, iHeart, and Apple Podcasts!

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hello, everybody, and welcome to Laughing Through the Uncomfortable. This is Julie and Jeff. Yay! And this is like So I mean, this is crazy. We've been doing the podcast since January, and now it's almost like halfway through the year. I think it's amazing. And hopefully everybody's throw clock. So we have another visitor in the studio today, and it is my 10-year-old German short hair pointer who his name is Oakley. And well, I am his emotional support human. He has a little separation anxiety. So if you hear him in the background, listeners, I apologize. That's just the 10-year-old. If I don't let him in the room, he will just scratch at the door and scratch at the door, and it'll be really annoying. So I apologize if if you guys are dog people, I'm not apologizing. Y'all know what I'm talking about. If you are cat people, you still know what I'm talking about because the cats also are velcro. Hamsters, okay, fish people maybe not, because the fish really can't jump out of the bowl, right?

SPEAKER_01 1:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:10

All right. So this is crazy. So last week we we talked about how you have a new job coach and all that. But and you didn't get any of those positions that you interviewed for the current company because they hired uh people that had merchandising experience, but also it's weird. But you have good news.

SPEAKER_01 1:33

Yes, I got a merchant job. It's a it's a very entry-level, still in retail, but I got the merch position, and this was the job where I did not want, but I was so casual in it. And it's just like that's the secret. It's just acting casual and acting like confident that you you don't even want the job. That's the thing. That's the secret. I didn't even want the job.

SPEAKER_00 2:00

Wait, wait, wait. So okay, but so in that, this was the one, and if you guys remembered a few episodes ago, he had said that he got an interview for a position that he didn't want, but he was taking the interview as practice.

SPEAKER_02 2:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 2:16

And and that that is just a good practice for interview, and I encouraged him to do it. But the thing that I didn't realize though, and I don't think you realized it, because I don't think you read the job description like you should have read the job description, because merchandising was in the job title. And and okay, Jeff's Jeff, this is a non-visual podcast. You need to like not just, you know, put your shoulders up the door. Oh well. But I mean, right? And you made it sound like it was a lateral position, like another sales position and not like really a merchandising position. So number one, A, okay, so X strike against you on that one, because you weren't really paying attention to detail on that. And all everybody's like, okay, well, I can see why you wouldn't want to take it, and you're just doing it for an exercise. So number two, it was a merchandising position with like 20% sales. So like if you're on the floor and it's a visual merchandising position, which is the one that you wanted, like you've always wanted to do visual merchandising, which is which you're gonna explain to everybody because I'm not really sure. I kind of have an idea. It's a bang. So when you when they called you to get to talk about it, when did you learn that it was actually more of like 80% merchandising, video visual merchandising, setting up the floor compared to sales? Was it during the interview?

SPEAKER_01 3:38

Yeah, I actually negotiated that. So it was actually 6040. So I actually negotiated it because it's a commission-based store and the visual merch, the visual merchandiser does not make any commission. They gets a percentage of the store. So basically, like, okay, so if I'm making a sale and I don't get commission for it, I have to hand it to the other salespeople. Let's do 80 20. Okay, I'm doing more visuals. And then I haven't heard, I well, the thing is during all this process, I haven't heard back from it from a week and a half. And they like, hey, hey, Jeff, we really love your resume. We're gonna totally do 80-20.

SPEAKER_00 4:18

Is that what they sounded like? Is that what he sounded like?

SPEAKER_01 4:22

Yeah. Hey Jeff.

unknown 4:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 4:24

I really like your resume. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 4:25

That is that what he sounded like? Hey, that's gonna be your new boss. So you negotiate. Well, you know what? That was actually a really good thing that you you picked up on. Because if everybody else is making commission on their sales, right, and you're you're responsible for 40% of the sales, or 40% of the time you're at the sales, the 60% you're doing the merchandising. So the 40% say you take and you, by the way, hey listeners, I am super proud of my son. Okay, this is Mama Bear. So at the company that he's working at, he has been lead top California men's sales for the store now for two years. Three years. And three years. And the company that he came from before he moved to the one he's at now, he was top sales for every quarter except for two in the four years that he worked there. Yeah. So I'm super proud of him. So no, so I'm actually really glad that you negotiated that because you are a good salesperson. And if you were gonna do 40% sales, you could be given away, you know, $5,000 worth of commission every month.

SPEAKER_01 5:41

Yeah, it's four percent. Yeah. And they're and they're and they're high priced too. So technically, if I stayed in the well, the thing is, the when I went for the in-person interview, the the lead uh salesperson that has three, so he has three people on the floor that he has to respond to, and then I have two people or one people in the stock room that respond to me. And he was like, Yeah, I'm the I'm a million-dollar sales associate. I'm a million dollars. I'm like, that's okay, bro. I don't give a shit. That's great, bro. Awesome. I don't give a shit.

SPEAKER_00 6:17

Well, because you're a million-dollar sales associate. You've how many times have you done that for the year? Oh, or not even six times.

SPEAKER_01 6:22

I was a two point, I was a $2.5 million from uh from but from my other brand. And I'm like, this guy's okay. Like even the even the new general manager of the store that I was interviewing, she was only in there for eight days. And I'm like, I this job was really intriguing, but at the same time, like she said, like, hey, I really need you to come in here and work for us, please. She was begging, she was begging me to come in. And she literally, hey, Jeff uh, hey Jeff, what do you think about our store? I'm gonna give it like a 4.5. It's it's it's great, it's decent. I imagine like my eyes, my my fixed, my my facial was my communication. And she's like, okay, well, yeah, she just it is.

SPEAKER_00 7:11

No, you're you have a lot of facial expressions. Like you, like we've already talked about your resting bitch face, but like you don't even know. It's okay. You yeah, you are.

SPEAKER_01 7:20

No, so it's like it's a lot of hide it.

SPEAKER_00 7:22

So anyway, you went into this interview and you had, you know, you negotiated in the interview, and then they called you back, and so they gave you the position, right? What happened?

SPEAKER_01 7:32

Well, we're playing phone tag, me and the district manager, because the the where you guys are, I can't receive phone calls. So I had to do Wi-Fi calling. So I had to call him. So I'm like, in my mind, like, you know what, let's wait a little bit. I want him to beg for me to come in. For me, just for practice. Again, this is practice.

SPEAKER_00 7:53

I hope, I hope this guy doesn't listen to our podcast.

SPEAKER_01 7:57

I don't really give a shit. Either way, I I'm like, you know what? I want them to beg for me because they're like, oh, we love your resume. We love your resume. I'm like, you can never find someone like me. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 8:08

Oh, you know what? Is this wait, wait, wait, wait. We have to remind the listeners that you went in this interview and you didn't really want the job. So this is the one. But this is the reason why you have this attitude. You normally don't have this attitude. You're normally you're normally polite and nice and respectful.

SPEAKER_01 8:27

So we finally I'm not someone.

SPEAKER_00 8:30

You're not some phone head.

SPEAKER_01 8:32

No, so we we finally called back. I sent him an email saying, like, sorry. Or I was I was out in Kentucky to California on the on the phone call when I'm when I missed it. So with that being said, uh he called me back, called me at work. I'm like, all right, no problem. We figure it out. I'm like, hey, how much do you want? I want this and that. I'm like, hey, can we do this instead? Like, you know what? Yeah, we can. Sweet. Send over the letter. I got it on Twitter. And I signed it quick. I signed it like like that and I snapped my finger. Well, good.

SPEAKER_00 9:03

Well, can well, congratulations. And I bet our listeners are finally celebrating and we can allow them to celebrate with us because there's a few listeners who have have emailed me and a couple who are actually really good friends of mine who've actually talked to me about I don't understand why one of my really good friends and she's listening, and you know who you are. While we're drinking wine, she's like, I don't understand why he doesn't get the job. He sounds like he's really good. So I think that everybody was being cheerleaders for you. Um and it's so awesome. So I have a question. Do you think okay? So this is really good because you've gone on. I mean, you've been trying, you've been interviewing for promotional positions, you've been interviewing with this company since you, you know, the last year. Do you think do you think that maybe it was this new career coach, the second career coach? Or was it the combination of both, or the experience of going after interview after interview? What do you think, what do you think changed on this one?

SPEAKER_01 9:56

Well, change on this one was the first one that I needed to practice. But the thing is, the second career coach was actually after the aftermath of being completely rejected from all three jobs in June. I wish I found my current career coach before going to these interviews. That's my biggest regret was not my stupid Instagram algorithm of finding these career coaches sooner. You fuckers not listening.

unknown 10:25

Right?

SPEAKER_01 10:25

On my phone. Thank you very much.

SPEAKER_00 10:27

So now my Instagram's gonna be coming up with career coaches. Thank you. I really appreciate that.

SPEAKER_01 10:33

Right. So I wish I wish I found this person sooner because well the thing is, she's she's slightly irritated with me right now because after our second meeting, after our second meeting, she so she to she basically said, like, hey Jeff, why did you pay for the the templates that I sent you? I sent you a hundred percent off thing. I'm like, and I felt so bad. I'm like, look, you're running a business. I again I that's the thing. I so I didn't even think it was a social queue thing, but I didn't I paid for it. I paid like for like three thirty dollars for this template stuff. And I just she's running a business. I don't want I don't want charity. Sorry. Like I want to give her the full money. I I'll pay for her for a course, I'll pay for whatever. Don't give me 100%.

SPEAKER_00 11:19

And you can tell her it's a tax write-off for me because it's a tax write-off.

SPEAKER_01 11:22

She said she said thank you. Like she literally she said thank you, but at the same time, you didn't have to, but thank you.

SPEAKER_00 11:28

She probably felt bad because she knew that you didn't have to, but you did. And you know, people are funny with money. And and I mean, people are I mean no, no. What I'm saying is people are funny with money with the thought of like, no, no, no, like, oh no, let's you know, you don't have to, it's a hundred percent. And you're and you're like, well, no, because you know, your time is valuable and I value your time. And by you saying you don't need to pay for it, I mean you're just trying to show her some respect with valuing her time, right? I mean, and and a lot of people are it's just it's just weird when with that. And and I've been in I've been in a few circumstances where people are like, no, no, no. And I'm like, okay, just let me let me pay. And they're like, no, I don't want you to pay. You know, it's like, okay, fine, then we'll we'll do 50-50. If that's gonna make you more comfortable, then we'll do 50-50 or whatever it is, right? It's just weird. And and I don't know, and now that the economy is going all to hell, it's people are even more weird about it. But so I guess the next question, I mean, I think that's great. And I think it's a combination of the both coaches. And honestly, I think that like you were saying, recording yourself in the mirror, right? And then and then really knowing your answer on tell me about yourself, right? Because everybody says, Oh, I can do that. That's super easy. But then when you're actually in front of a panel or in front of an interview person saying, Well, tell me about yourself, you kind of go, okay, I don't want to do too much because I don't want to seem like I'm narcissistic. And I don't want to do too less because I don't want to undercut what I've actually done. Yeah. Right. So I think that's good. I think that that first career coach was really good because it was more general. And then this one specific, I think, helped you. But I really think it was a mere practice that helped you.

SPEAKER_01 13:11

Yeah, it did. Just practice. Obviously, I got the questions, got the questions wrong. You know, it's like I did the best I could.

SPEAKER_00 13:17

You know, but you got the job. What do you mean you got the questions wrong?

SPEAKER_01 13:20

Not not this one, but not this my current position. I'm still in retail, mom. Like we said, it's lateral. It's it will grow. It's more concentrated. It is not lateral.

SPEAKER_00 13:30

The name, no, your name of your position has has visual merchandiser in the title.

SPEAKER_01 13:37

That's the point. It's the title that I can then use and leverage for my future employments. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. My my my career coach Lily told me to slow the fuck down because she says, like, look, I need you to slow down and take a breath, focus on what you need to do, focus on your masters. I think what you did is great. And honestly, just relax. Figure it out something, you know? I'm like, all right, cool. And I literally I was bored this week, mom. And I printed a mini presentation of my current job and all the competitors. I did a competitor analysis because I was so fucking bored.

SPEAKER_00 14:19

Oh, for your new job or your old job?

SPEAKER_02 14:21

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 14:23

I wanted like, oh, what's the job? Why were you bored? You know why you're bored? Woo, data. You know why you're bored? You know why you're bored?

SPEAKER_01 14:34

Why?

SPEAKER_00 14:35

It's the same conversation that I had with your other brother this morning about you are in, you work full-time and you go to school full-time for you know fall and spring. So that's, you know, you know, August, September, October, November, and then December, January, February, March, April, May, right? So that's like half the year. And then you took summer off. Then you took summer off. So your body and your brain doesn't know how to shut off when you were used to having the go, go, go, I have to go to work, I have school, I have to go to work, I have school. And that's like your schedule for umpting for the last 18 months. Same with your brother, right? So we've had that conversation. He goes to work, he's like he doesn't know how to shut his brain off with being at work versus being at home. And it's just like your body. So you are bored in the summer because you have forgot how to have fun. You need to get on the dating app. Okay, number one. Oh, yeah. No, you need to come up here. And since your brother is being around this last couple days, he's gonna be here on Wednesday. You guys need to go for a beer in Santa Rosa and out of the house. You need to learn how to have fun. You forgot to have fun because you're so busy going to work in school, working school, working school. And same with him. He was so busy with with the baby and the work, and the baby and the work and the baby and the work and the wife and the baby and all of that stuff that he forgot to have how to sit down and take a breath and say, Oh, I can do this.

unknown 16:00

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 16:00

You need to do that.

SPEAKER_02 16:02

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 16:03

Okay, enough of my soapbox on being a mother. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 16:07

Please drop the soapbox.

SPEAKER_00 16:08

Oh no, I'm I just I just I'll burn the soapbox. I don't think no, I won't burn the soapbox. I'm an Italian mother. Well, I'm the matches. So I have a question. So do you think so? Is there a lesson you think for the listeners who are still grinding? Like right? Like, what do you want to say for those listeners who've been trying for, you know, for have been trying and trying to get a position and they're just being ghosted or not What would do you suggest? I think I know what I would suggest, uh you know, being on the peripheral and watching you go through this. Um I know what I would suggest. What would you suggest for them to do?

SPEAKER_01 16:50

I suggest glitch your bitchin' and get to work. Okay, like seriously they're not bitching. You weren't bitching. Quick, just no, like stop complaining. It's like how do you know they're complaining? Look, well, first of all, how badly you want it. How badly do you want something? Okay, you wanted it to be something. I wanted it fucking bad. I want I was obsessed, mother. Yeah, I know you were. My fucking god. I am you could put me in a fucking say asylum. I had two people, three people tell me, hey, slow the fuck down. I'm like, well, guess what? I'm better than everyone else. I'm gonna be so obsessed with this, and I got three fucking job interviews at the same fucking month. Outreach.

SPEAKER_00 17:43

Connections. Find similar things. Okay, so I guess my my question isn't like you've missed the whole point. You missed the whole point of that question. Okay, because you were you went you you had like 15 interviews and you were slam door shut, ignore, go away, woman, man, whoever you are. They did not.

unknown 18:06

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 18:07

My advice is be persistent, have persistence, have curiosity, always push yourself towards something that you want. What I suggest is if you want something, it's very I get this shit from Instagram every fucking time I am on BART. Literally, this shit listens to me. For one, for one, first of all, go on different social medias, find a job in your area, find like 20 companies that you want to fucking work for. That's what I did on my dream board, on my vision board. I have 20 of the West Coast's companies. Apparently, I can't fucking work on the Midwest or the East Coast because apparently they they think California people are like, oh my god, more money. Find 20 companies, focus on them, and find the connections in there and just fucking go for it. Have persistence. Find time. I have no kids, I have no girlfriend, I have no excuses. Yes, I work. You know what? I have no excuses. I don't have kids, I don't have a girlfriend, I don't have a wife, I don't have a house, I don't have any of the fucking responsibilities except for work and school. And guess what? I have time. Guess what? I am literally right now. I sent like 15 connections on my wait, wait, I g I gotta ask you a qu I gotta ask you a question.

SPEAKER_00 19:27

I answered the question. No, no, you didn't answer the question. No, no, no, no, no. Because they're all being persistent, they're all being the same thing that you did, they do, and they have been doing. And I'm trying to get you to realize what one action changed everything for you, and then a second action. And you know what that was?

SPEAKER_01 19:52

What?

SPEAKER_00 19:53

A career coach.

SPEAKER_01 19:55

Uh yeah, a career coach. That's that's great advice.

SPEAKER_00 19:58

Because everybody is everybody is beating the pavement, trying to get where you know the job. They're being persistent, they're doing everything. And it was that second career coach who revised your resume.

SPEAKER_01 20:15

Oh, she did. I I it basically gave me advice, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 20:19

Exactly. So she gave you advice, she edited your resume, you corrected, you made the changes, and then guess what? A week later, you went on an interview and you got a job. Yeah. So I think that I guess the lesson, I guess what you needed to learn was if the same old saying, if you keep doing the same thing over and over, right, without any changes, if you keep doing the same thing over and over and you expect a different result, that definitely is the definition of insanity. So if you keep doing the same thing like you were doing over and over and over for the past 15 months, 15 months, and you kept doing it over and over. And I kept telling you, and your dad kept telling you, and Ben kept telling you, and even Logan told you. But you just were like, okay, well, I'll just start networking through LinkedIn, I'll just start doing this, I'll just start doing that. But it's still honestly networking and doing that is all the same thing. But what you did was you took a brave step and you changed your pattern. And you hired a career coach, which is very, very hard. And it's made you, you know, you I know that if I would have hired a career coach, I would have been very vulnerable because they would have looked at my resume, saw the holes, and go, that's why you didn't get the job, you moron. Why would you think you could have qualified for that? You don't even have that on your resume, right?

unknown 21:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 21:42

So I guess the lesson or the advice that I would give, because I was a spectator in your life for the past 28 years, 29 years now, is if something is not working, you need to change it up.

SPEAKER_02 21:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 21:57

You need to add a variable, a career conversation. Coach or hire a resume writer or you know, really just change it up. That's what I wanted you to say.

SPEAKER_01 22:09

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 22:09

And not go on and on and bash all of our listeners about not trying or being persistent or having any. Yes, you did. You did. You're like, well, this is what you need to do. You need to be persistent. You need to do all this. And if you don't do that, I'm like, oh my God, how do you know they're not doing that?

SPEAKER_01 22:25

You're right. Yeah. That's bad.

SPEAKER_00 22:27

Yeah. That's all right. No, and you know, I just saw something on Good Morning America because I watch, I only watch Good Morning America for the first 20 minutes from seven, all you listeners from seven to seven twenty, because that's when all the news happens. Because I don't really like all the other fluff. And there was this lady on about trying to get a job. She was like 53 and she had turned down, turned down, turned down, turned down. And then she went to some blogs and a career coach and other things and other people, and they basically said, cut down your resume to a page, only do the last 15 years, don't do the 30 years of experience that you have, which is crazy because that made her the expert in her field. But nobody wants to hire a 52-year-old. So about age discrimination. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 23:10

Age discrimination.

SPEAKER_00 23:10

It's crazy.

SPEAKER_01 23:12

Biases, man. Fucking biases.

SPEAKER_00 23:13

It's horrible. And I think, oh my gosh, here I am in my early 50s. If I went for another job somewhere, which I'm not going to because I'm really happy with the position that I have right now, I love it. I don't think, I mean, that would be horrible if I had age discrimination, right? That's horrible.

SPEAKER_01 23:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 23:35

So I have a question for you, knowing that we just had that conversation about going over and over and over, and you you were hitting your head against the wall doing the same thing over and over.

SPEAKER_01 23:44

You can see the hole right here. You can see the hole right there.

SPEAKER_00 23:46

I know. There's a huge hole. I was gonna ask you to go to the house.

SPEAKER_01 23:48

There's a huge hole right there by smacking my fucking head.

SPEAKER_00 23:50

I'm actually talking about the hole in your head, not the wall. Oh, oh shit.

SPEAKER_01 23:55

Okay, maybe I should not say that. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 23:58

I'm just kidding. Okay, so if you if you had an opportunity last year to go back and talk to yourself on what you know now and tell yourself uh tell yourself uh, you know, last year, what would you tell them? What would you say?

SPEAKER_01 24:13

I would literally, I um, mom, I'm not gonna sugarcoat this. I'm literally going to literally kick my own ass at at the at the cast at the Castor Valley house. I'm going to knock on the door, sup numbnuts, punch him in the face, and like, listen to your mother, you dumb motherfucker. Listen to your mother. Smack him on the ground and be Deuce's fucking pack of the past type of fucking car or whatever the kid it is. Basically, I'll go back to the past, I'm telling him, hey, get a career coach. It's okay. Like, hey, oh, you're I feel behind. Like, you're not behind. Everyone has a different fucking journey. Wisdom comes with age. I would literally tell my 26th self, because when I graduated from ESPE, saying like, hey, it's okay. Shit happens. Build a personality. Get experience. Build a personality. Build a fucking personality. Seriously. Wait a minute. I didn't have a personality back then, mom. Yes, you did. I didn't have like, oh my god, yeah, like I didn't have the confidence. That's what it is. I had Posta syndrome, mother. I had pasta syndrome. And I finally don't have it anymore. But you had the confidence. I had it, mom, and it fucking sucks. So I'm telling I tell myself, saying, hey, listen to mom, because she's always right. First of all, it's okay that you didn't go to the Academy of Art. It's fine. Sociology is still a subfactor of merchandising. You just focus on more of the demographic, psychographic, than human subculture. It's fine. Carry that and go into merchandising. Listen to your fucking mother. Go into your bastion. Seriously. Jesus fucking Christ. I I really hate myself in the past. Can I ask you to do that? That's what I would tell myself. Yeah, yeah. Well.

SPEAKER_00 26:09

Can I ask you a question?

SPEAKER_01 26:10

Yeah, what's the question?

SPEAKER_00 26:12

How much coffee have you had today?

SPEAKER_01 26:13

None. Oh, I had this. I had Petsy.

SPEAKER_00 26:15

Okay, how much caffeine have you had today? Because you it's like you're on meth. Well, yeah, like fine. You fly. Okay, I'm not advocating drug use kids, but I just don't do drugs. Yeah, don't do drugs. It kills your brain. Okay. Well, I know what I would give mothers of neurodivergent kids who are, you know, watching them struggle as adults, trying to get physicians, knowing that, you know, their interview skills might not be the best because of their auditory processing or their, you know, their time that they need to think for their answer. I would just say to, you know, support them and listen to them with their, you know, when they call and say, I don't understand, and, you know, try and coach them through their questions. And maybe this wasn't the best question or answer that you answered, but maybe, you know, think about this. And the other thing that I actually had you do, if I remember correctly, a few months ago, was to print out, or okay, AI. I know everybody's all AI, AI is bad. But honestly, AI, who knows? The verdict's still out. I'm not a proponent and I'm not against it. It's just it's still out. But we had AI do a series of 50 possible questions for positions for merchandisers, right? And you printed them out and you actually read them. And I think in the last, you were talking like the last seven interviews, you actually were asked a good majority of those questions. Yeah. Like somewhere in that topic of those questions, which helps you because you were able to read those questions and kind of think about your answer and prepare a possible answer for those questions. And you reviewed those questions, which helped you. And I think that that for me, advice for parents out there who are, you know, parenting teenage neurodivergent kids or adult neurodivergent kids, whether they're ADD, ADHD, or dyslexic or auditory processing or whatever label you want to give them, whatever. And I've we've already talked about no labels. I hate labels. If they can just prepare for the interview with potential questions, and not like the exact question, but the topic of the question. So it's about your education. So think about what you're going to talk about. It's about why you want the physician, you know, then think about that question. And I think that that really helps you.

SPEAKER_01 28:40

Yeah, it's the whys. It's the why questions.

SPEAKER_00 28:44

Yeah. It's the whys. Yeah. What, who, what, when, more, why? And it's the five whys, right? So, like, I think I've I've ran you through that exercise a couple times with the five whys. So I would ask you, so why do you want to work for okay? I'm going to just pick the company out of random people. It's not like any anyone that he interviewed with. Why do you want to work for guests? And by the way, Jeff and I actually had a conversation at the outlets as we walked into the outlet, the guest outlet store the other day, remember? And I was telling you that I actually had a guest watch. And when I was in high school, actually middle school, I'm dating myself. Guess was like the designer. So we're gonna act like guest was the one that you wanted to work for. So I asked you, well, why do you want to work for Guess?

SPEAKER_01 29:27

And you gave that answer, right? I gave that answer.

SPEAKER_00 29:30

And then whatever and then what did I say? What was my response? Well, why?

SPEAKER_02 29:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 29:37

And then you gave another answer. And I said, okay, but why? And then you gave another answer. And I'm like, okay, but why? And I asked you five whys. And by the fifth why, you actually came to the real reason why you wanted to work for that company. Right? So as a parent, I try and coach you and support you. I understand that you're gonna fall and you know, fall to your knees and nick them a couple times, but I'll be there to pick you up. But I think that's really cool. For for other parents who are struggling with adult neurodivergent children or kids, it's okay if they fall. It's okay if they fail. Because I can't tell you, Jeff, all of the interviews that you you don't think you did very well on, which and you didn't get the job, all of those are fails, but you don't look at them as fails. You look at them as opportunities for improvement, right?

SPEAKER_01 30:26

Always.

SPEAKER_00 30:27

Yeah. And I think that that is the mindset that I would say for other parents to talk to their kids about. You know?

SPEAKER_01 30:34

It's it's like every baseball game with Ben and Logan, dad always reminded them, and you and dad always remind my brothers of like it what is it's attitude first, then tactics later.

SPEAKER_00 30:47

Yeah, it's attitude and then tactics.

SPEAKER_01 30:49

Always attitude.

SPEAKER_00 30:51

Right. And like great grandpa used to say, if you found a job that you love, you don't have to go to work ever again.

SPEAKER_01 30:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 30:57

Right? So you have to find what you do and you have to love what you do. And if you're in a job that you don't love, well why do it? You can stay there because you have to pay the bills, but why not look for another position somewhere else in a position that you like? But anyway, so we're so we are super excited that you got this position.

SPEAKER_01 31:17

Me too. I'm excited.

SPEAKER_00 31:19

Super excited. And super proud of you. And thank you. I just, you know, I don't know. I just I think that your perseverance and the fact that you've finally decided to change it up and stop doing the same thing over and over, you know, and expecting that different result. I think that that's what actually helped you with finding that career coach and them talking to you about it, and then them telling you actually how good your resume really is, which made you really believe in yourself.

SPEAKER_01 31:48

What's what's yeah, what's really cool is like she literally I don't know she says this to all of her clients, but she literally said, like, you remind me of me when I was young and stuff like that.

SPEAKER_00 31:58

She probably says that to everybody. No just kidding.

SPEAKER_01 32:00

She probably said that to everyone. But if so, it came again, it can't it gave me some great, some great art there.

SPEAKER_00 32:09

No, it's good. So congratulations, you're starting your new your new job, and uh which is gonna be awesome because that uh get to talk about your stuff, your new job on the podcast. Well, unless you don't want to, then we could actually we need to. So I was actually talking to Logan because I keep teasing the listeners that I'm gonna have all three of you on for question and answers. And I have tons of questions from the listeners that are emailing me in, and I feel sorry. I feel so bad because I haven't had you guys on, and I've been talking about this since May. But Logan, he is a baseball coach for a team in Kentucky, and he's got a one-year-old and his fiancee juggling during the summer with her full-time job, his full-time job, and the baby, and then also coaching the summer league. It's really hard for him to come on. So I'm hoping that their finals and everything is over first week of August, because that's when all of the colleges are going back. So he's done. I think this week is his last week. So I'm hoping we can have him on in the next week and have Ben, well, I'll get his schedule and you, and maybe you can come up on a Wednesday or Thursday or Tuesday when we, you know, or a Monday or whatever day, you whatever day you can come up and we can do the podcast with the three brothers because that would be awesome.

SPEAKER_01 33:37

That would be awesome.

SPEAKER_00 33:38

And then you need to sign up for a dating app now that you have a job and you're settled and everything's good. You need to do a dating app.

SPEAKER_01 33:44

I have a dating app. The thing is, I want to go to dating events. Well, then you gotta go to dating events. I can't. Right? I even try to look a dating event in Santa Rosa, you know, this this week. You know, fuck it.

SPEAKER_00 34:03

Or what about there's I know there's San Jose dating events, and then there's San Francisco, and then there's I'd skin my ass out there in the Bay Area. In there's a lot of dating events in the Bay, the Bay Area, but Santa Rosa is far, far, far from where you live.

SPEAKER_01 34:17

Yeah, I guess it's fine. Get some social interaction or some shit.

SPEAKER_00 34:21

Yeah, you could drive like five hours up to Santa Rosa. Just kidding. All right. Well, I am congratulations. And I think we're at the end of our podcast today. I think this is great. We wanted to talk about Jeff. And and honestly, I think like you had talked to me before we started the podcast. You wanted to help people to motivate them on it is possible, right? It is possible.

SPEAKER_01 34:46

Just act confident, act like you don't even want the job, but you kind of want the job at the same time. That's what that apparently helped me. So act like you don't work, you're working full. It's better that you're working full time at the same time applying for jobs because that way you have like some learners like, dude, I don't even fucking want to work for you. Why why should I come work for you? Right? But either way, act confident, act like you don't want the job, and yeah, you'll get the fucking job.

unknown 35:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 35:14

Make sure your resume is great.

SPEAKER_00 35:17

Well, congratulations.

SPEAKER_01 35:19

Thank you.

SPEAKER_00 35:20

All right. So uh that's it. So I guess we're done for this week. And this is you can always please, like I said, email us questions at Lapping Through Uncomfortable. We had to drop the the because Googled is too many letters. Lapping through uncomfortable at gmail.com. For any questions that you want to ask the boys. I'm gonna try and get the bond in the next two weeks. So I do apologize. And secondly, Jeff and I are looking at maybe trying to sell some merchandise with our sayings and Jeff's wonderful quotes like Chardonnay water, Chardonnay water, if you guys want to do that. We're thinking about that's probably going to come about in Jefferson is at the merchandiser and the product person. So he's responsible for that. So stay tuned for that. Stay tuned for that. Um, yeah. Yeah. Stay tuned. And we can find us on Facebook and Instagram. And once we have merchandise up for sale, you will see the examples. And I think it's pretty cool because they have these cool sayings on the back on all the quotes that Jeff has said throughout the uh seven months that we've been doing it. And um I'm sure he's going to be saying more throughout because you know, he's just build, he's still building his personality. Yeah. Still building it. Still alive. All right. So uh catch us on laughingthrough uncomfortable at gmail.com or Facebook and Instagram. This is thank you for joining us this week. This is Julie and Jeff. And this is Laughing Through the Uncomfortable.